Let us praise ourselves when we fail | Shota Maruyama | TEDxKagoshimaUniversity

The experience that Shota Maruyama had as an exchange student in Thailand made him realize that the key to success was "Praise yourself when you fail." He talks about the importance of enjoying to challenge yourself without worrying about making mistakes and failures.

This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at http://ted.com/tedx

Have you experienced failure lately?

No one likes to fail at anything.

Maybe because I have been
pushing the envelope

for the past 12 years as a sprinter,

I love to challenge myself
with something new and difficult.

I love the exciting and exhilarating
feelings that I get from such experiences,

and I do love knowing
that I am doing my best.

That is why I have been making
many mistakes in that process.

For instance,

when I heard that there
was a unicorn in Laos,

I traveled to Laos by myself.

Not only could I not find a unicorn,

I got hosed by the guy
running the hotel.

On top of that,

while exploring a new territory
trying to expand my running course,

I got lost and injured my knee.

"Why has it turned out like this?"
is what I oftentimes wonder.

Well, I would like to talk about

how I have been
overcoming such mistakes.

I am sure that how I handle my mistakes
is the key to overcoming them.

That key is:

Whenever I make a mistake,

I praise myself.

When you make a mistake or fail

is precisely the time
for praising yourself.

There was one incident
that made me realize this.

When I was an exchange student
in Bangkok, Thailand, two years ago,

I was full of ambition and energy,
to be globally successful in the future.

However, what I found there
was that I was the only Asian student,

and all other classmates were speaking
fluent English at a rapid pace

just like native English speakers.

In that kind of situation,
I was too afraid of making mistakes

in speaking English
to talk with my classmates.

Even if I talked to them,

I blamed myself for my small pronunciation
or grammatical errors each time I spoke.

That made me self-conscious
and even more taciturn;

I couldn't get out of the vicious cycle.

One day,

when I was listening to my classmates

talking about the party
to be held on that night,

I noticed one thing
in their lively conversation.

I thought that they had been speaking
perfect English before,

but they were actually making
a lot of grammatical errors.

Some of them were using present tense

to talk about what happened yesterday.

Nevertheless, without hesitation,

they were saying whatever
they wanted to say,

and they were enjoying
their lively conversation.

While watching my classmates,
I said to myself,

"I see. It doesn't matter
if we make a mistake,

because English is
a foreign language to us after all.

In this kind of situation
in a foreign country,

it is a matter of course for us to make
a lot of mistakes in speaking English.

So, those who make mistakes should
be praised for their challenging spirit,

rather than criticized for their mistakes.

Using a foreign language
in a foreign country

is not anything we are used to;

it is something we are challenged with.

Since we all make mistakes all the time
in this kind of situation,

our efforts to do our best
and our challenging spirit

should be praised
instead of being criticized for mistakes."

That is what I thought.

Then, to my surprise,

I began to be less self-conscious
about making mistakes in speaking English.

Even when I made a mistake,
I said to myself,

"Okay, I made a mistake.

But I have learned one thing here,

and I can keep improving
my English skills like this."

With talking to myself like this,
I quit worrying about making mistakes.

I started having this new attitude
to change gear and learn something

from making mistakes.

One specific method is

taking a quick note right at the spot
whenever I made a mistake

so as not to forget
what the mistake was,

and checking them again later
before going to bed or on a break.

Repeating this cycle made me confident
and also led me to making more friends.

Soon I found myself engaging
with people around me,

to plan an international
exchange party.

"Shota, you have really changed
for the past half year!"

"You have impressed me!"

When I received these comments
from my classmates,

I was really happy.

Of course, my challenging journey
didn't end there.

What I would like to do in the future is:

I want to start a new type
of organization for education

and run it as my business.

My hope is to make
a student-teacher-community triad system

where all of three parties
would be benefited

from the educational model,

and I would like to circulate it
throughout the world.

I might not be able to avoid making
a lot of mistakes and failures

in the process,

but I won't take them negatively,

because each failure and mistake
would be just one of the steps

towards success
that you need to go through.

Therefore,

instead of fretting over
every little mistake and failure,

I would rather value
the challenging spirit

and then realize my big dream someday.

The theme of this TEDx conference
is "First Story."

I am sure that many people in this room

are challenging themselves
with something new.

When you stumble on something
and feel like you can't go any further,

don't blame yourself.

Praise yourself instead first.

If you think it is impossible to do it,

then consciously try
to put a smile on your face.

Everyone, let's try it right now.

You can keep seating.

Lift the corners of your mouth
as much as possible

and make a smiling face.

Cheese!

(Laughter)

Not relaxed yet?

Are you still a little tense?

This time, when you make a smiling face,

please slightly throw out your chest
and tilt your head back a little.

That is good! Thank you very much.

How do you feel?

Don't you think you feel like
you are getting more positive?

By making a positive posture,
you can make yourself feel more positive.

I think that if you keep doing this,

your thought process
will gradually change.

As a result,

it will lead to a more positive attitude
towards the next challenge.

So, please do what
we have just done right now

when you feel like you have failed.

Everybody is afraid
of failing, including me.

But failure is the unmistakable evidence
of that you have made efforts.

Not failing is not the important part.

Learning from it and how to use
what you learn from it

to use for your next step is important.

When you fail or make mistakes,

please praise yourself
all the more for that reason.

As for myself, after
being back in the waiting room,

I will praise myself
and look forward to the next challenge.

Thank you.

(Applause)