My parents are trying to set up a date � [marriage talk, bachelor life, Korea vs NYC]

They're like, oh, she's
like, she has good faith.

She's got a good job. And she's smart.

She's very sweet. Yeah.

[Jason] What about the looks?

- Oh I never asked about
that, I just don't want to be

set up by my parents.

- Well you can at least ask..

- Oh ah.. I just feel like..

Like "do you have a picture?"

- I don't ask for the picture.

- Really?

- I just don't want to
be set up by my parents dude.

- What if she was a dime ?

- [John] Oh~

- Welcome back to another
episode and welcome back, Jason,

- [Jason] Yo. What up.

[John] He's back.. he's back.

Lost my sense of peace at home.

- [Jason] No you didn't.

- laughing

- So what were you doing in Korea?

- It's been three years since

I've been to Korea and I have not seen

my family for that time, so
I was just there relaxing,

catching up and getting
bombarded with questions about

getting married and stuff like that.

- [John] Which is the topic of this video.

- [Jason] That's right

- [John] Not marriage, but,

but dating differences
in Korea versus USA.

So you spent three months in Korea,

you were home in rural part
of Korea. Where were you?

- [Jason] I was in Yangpyeong,

which is like an hour east of Seoul,

- [John] It looks really peaceful.

- [Jason] Yeah yeah it's farmland.

People are raising
chickens and like corn.

I actually picked up some .. like..

Peppers (gochu?) from my
neighbor's yard, cause it's

[john] oh nice (laughing)

Because it's just hanging out, you know?

- [John] Oh, wow. I'm
gonna tell your neighbor.

All right. So you were there for

a month and I'm sure they
were happy to see you,

catch up over the last three years.

Celebrate your recent accomplishment,

graduating your PhD,

and then the serious talk:

'You dating anybody?'

'What are- You trying to marry?'

And how much of that pressure
actually affected you?

uhhh

- A lot.

- (laughing)

It's like one of the
pinnacles of a person's life,

especially at my age.

- [John] All right. Fair.

I think that's any parents
concern and I think

they have a right to be concerned.

It's coming from a good place because

they want you to do well at school,

they want you to have stability
in your job and then they

want you to find someone who's
going to be there with you.

- [Jason] Yeah. How about you?

Do you feel any pressures
from your parents?

(clears throat)

- [John] Some of that was alleviated,

because my brother got married recently.

- [Jason] Oh nice.

- [John] So thank you
Eric. Thank you Meewon.

Actually many siblings can relate.

Yeah. If one of your siblings goes, yeah.

Then-

- [Jason] Then there's a less
pressure on the other one.

- [John] I don't feel
like, a negative pressure,

It's just, they're very curious.

- [Jason] Yeah

- [John] but they don't wanna,

they don't wanna annoy me either.

I mean they're not
annoying me by asking me.

- [Jason] Yeah.

- [John] But they're asking
me like "do you need help?

Do you want me to set you up with

church friend? Always asking
me about church friends.

And I would prefer to
meet somebody on my own,

but they're like, oh, she's
like, she has good faith.

She's got a good job. And she's smart.

She's very sweet. Yeah.

- So.. uh..

[Jason] What about the looks?

- Oh I never asked about
that, I just don't want to be

set up by my parents.

- [Jason] Well you can at least ask..

- Oh ah.. I just feel like..

Like "do you have a picture?"

- [John] I don't ask for the picture.

- [Jason] Really?

- [John] I just don't want to
be set up by my parents dude.

- [Jason] What if she was a dime ?

- [John] Oh, wait a minute.

- What if all of these years
your parents were setting

you up for like.. Miss Korea.

- [John] Are you guys-
are you guys okay with

getting set up by your parents?

- [Jason] As long as it's an option,

It's not something forced.

It's okay.

- [John] Okay. Fair, fair.

Maybe I was being too close minded about it.
Yeah. yeah.

- [Jason] Their ideas of who
you should be dating versus

your ideas of who you want to
be dating is very different.

- [John] That's true. But
I never get it a chance.

So perhaps I'm being unfair.

Mom if you're watching this, I'm sorry.

- Laughing -

- [Jason] Mom, I'm sorry too.

- (beep)

- [Jason] Well tell me-

where are you right now?

- [John] Well, they know that

I'm focusing on my
career, so it's not like,

- I think it'd be different if I were just

partying all the time

- [Jason] Well, I mean,
you could still, like,

you can be serious about your
career while dating someone.

- [John] Oh, of course
they want me to.. yeah.

To find someone.

I mean, my dad was married by
the time that he was my age.

- [Jason] Yeah.

- [John] They have different notions.

- [Jason] Same with my dad.

And it was considered late.
-Right.

- [John] That's crazy.

- [Jason] Yeah.

- [John] I think, I think
they've realized that

there is a generational difference.

But anyway, that's enough about me.

- [Jason] Well, what
is- It's just like, not,

not just about you, but it's like,

the perspective of a guy
living in New York City.

It's like, I should be living the fullest

of my bachelorhood in my,
especially my thirties.

And that's generally
expected and accepted.

It's "cool" to be a bachelor.

It's cool to like meet different people.

Whereas I feel like in
Korea, it's like oh,

you're kind of a not-serious person.

- [John] Right, right.

- [Jason] And you don't have a project-

projectile in life.

- [John] Trajectory.

- [Jason] You don't have
a trajectory in life.

- [John] Projectile vomit.

You don't have a- blah.

- Laughing -

- (beep)

- [John] I also think we're really,

we're lucky to be here. New York City,

it's just super forgiving in that way.

- [Jason] Yeah.

- [John] You can focus on
your career until you're 40,

and no one is going to blink- bat an eye,

because So what? You do you
-mmhmm!

and that's a huge difference.

- [Jason] For sure.

- [John] Korea, versus if
we're going back to the Korea vs USA?

you celebrate individualism here-

- [Jason] Yeah.

Cool. He's 40.

Even if he's 45 and divorced and
still looking for love

- [Jason] He's doing his own thing

So what? he's happy.

Let him do this thing

Why do you bother him?
Yeah Yeah.

Whereas in Korea it's like, dang.

- [Jason] or just in Asian culture, in general.

It's like "fulfill your duty."

- [John] Right

You have an "obligation."

- [Jason] Yeah.

And one of them being is to
get married and have kids

and then create a family of your own

and then have this like, very like.

- [John] But in many ways, in many ways,

America celebrates that too.

So I don't think it's difference.

- [Jason] It celebrates the
individuality first. Right?

Cause it's like you do, you,
you do whatever pleases You

whereas, in Asian cultures
it's Like, oh, this is the way.

- [John] Mmm that is true.

Because I did have a perfectly normal,

older friend. We call him
my a 'hyung' in Korea.

Single dude, extremely successful.

- [Jason] Yeah.

- [John] Works out.
-mmhmm

And, and he was saying,
it's hard now, 40 year old.

He's like, 'dude, I'm 40.

He's like John - he's like,

if I could give you advice as
a hyung, don't do what I did.

- [Jason] Yeah.

- [John] It made me really
sad to hear that because

this is like my friend going
on dates as a 40 something year old dude

in Korea. He's like, it's tough.

There's a stigma.
Yeah, for sure.

- [Jason] Yeah. No doubt.

- [John] So he said
that he doesn't regret,

but it's like - mm maybe he
should've thought about it

and planned it a little bit better.

- [Jason] Yeah.

- [John] Whereas here,
I think it's still okay.

- [Jason] All right. Let's take a break.

I have some snacks for
you. are you hungry?

I am

You like you like nuts?

I love nuts.

Good news. I have so many
different types of nuts for you.

I was born for this, bro.

- ASMR

[John] Wow, is this cotton candy or something?

[Jason] You know those.. umm.. crackling candies?

They put that

Pop Rocks!

[Jason] On nuts...

- [John] Well, I got
something for you too, dude

- [Jason] what is it?

- [John] explosion sound effect

Because you're aging and you
need to get married soon.

One of the best Korean face
products, or skin products

- [Jason] Hera is actually

one of my favorite Korean brands.

- [John] So Jason. Where can
we find these Korean products?

- [Jason] So these are from Platform.K

which is a Korean-based shopping mall

that sells famous Korean brands

at the lowest prices in the US.

- [John] The website is
unique in that it features

for a length of time.

- [Jason] Yeah.

- [John] Really HOT deals
on a specific category.

Sometimes the time deals
can be up to 70% off,

You can get a sweet deal on a product

- [Jason] Huge discount.
Whereas like you go on Amazon,

you're gonna pay a premium.

Right now they're going
to have special offers on

healthcare products, such as InBody,

which is a scanner - sort
of measuring your body

composition.

- [Jason] My favorite part is
that is that they,

they recommend you the
hottest items in Korea at the

moment. So you're not just getting like,

a second hand thing
started from last season.

- [John] Like you said,
some of the hottest items,

celebrity endorsed, you
see then in some dramas.

- [John] So not only will
you save on the Time Deal,

If you use our coupon, you
can get additional 5% off.

- [Jason] And then when
you order over $50,

you get free shipping.

- [John] One thing I will mention,

this site is in Korean. But don't worry,

They have a customer support center,

and a chat for English users.

- [Jason] All right guys,
check out Platform.K,

And now back to the program.

- [John] So we automatically
jumped to like marriage

and like family,

but there's also like, dating rituals,

or like dating customs
that are different in Korea

versus America.
-mmhmm

I feel like I learned this the hard way,

Cause , you know,

I didn't,

I didn't know that I had
to celebrate 100일 (100th)

day anniversary.

Or even like couple attire
or like 애칭 (etching),

they call it etching. Right?

What's etching?
Like calling like saving (on phone) for example-

like calling your girlfriend
by a certain nickname.

- [Jason] Oh yeah, yeah.

- [John] So there are
certain little things,

like cute things-

jagiya (boo~)

Right you see it in kdramas

- [John] Stop.

I'm gonna throw up.

Please- save it for somebody else.

Ae-Gi Yah (Baby ~)

No stop

Idk is it taken seriously
though? Among 30 year olds.

Maybe they don't care. Maybe
it's more like a teenager thing

- [Jason] Well, I think
there's like a universal

sort of cultural mindset about dating

that the age is- age doesn't matter.

- [John] No. I'm talking
about the rituals.

- [Jason] Yeah. The rituals.

It doesn't matter how old you are.

- [John] But in Korea they have 100 day

200 day..

you have to have like couple
rings - some of them..

Wear couple rings

- Oh yeah. I guess when you're younger,

those are taking more seriously.

- [john] Oh only when you're younger?

- [Jason] Yeah yeah.

- [John] You don't think that like 30 year olds do that?

- [Jason] Well, I can't
personally speak because

I haven't been really like, been with someone

for a hundred days in Korea.

Okay okay fair.

yeah

Alright

Are there any, can you
think of anything else?

That's like, you gotta do it in Korea,

but you don't have to do
it here

or vice versa.

- [Jason] I think something that Koreans

take more seriously. It's like making,

having an official title
to your relationship,

at a very early stage of a relationship.

- [John] mmm

- [John] Mm I could see that

- [Jason] Yeah. whereas
here like casual dating,

it's pretty common.

You might see someone for a month or more

- [John] true.

- [Jason] Without having
an official title.

- [John] Wait but Korea has, you know, 썸 (sseom)

- [Jason] But, but you know their sseom

their definition of sseom and definition of

sseom here it's different where the sseom is.

Like you're getting to know
each other, like personally,

but without actually having sort of a- skinship.

- [John] Oh, that's another thing.-

- [Jason] Yeah.

But I don't know if this is a
stereotype or generalization rather

skinship, which is actually
not an English word.

skinship is physical touch.

-yeah

Is that looked down upon
before you're dating in Korea?

I wouldn't say it's looked down upon,

but I feel like in
Asian culture, in Korea,

people kind of want to have official.

- [John] Is that still the case though?

- [Jason] Well, not as much,

but it's still like statistically I think.

- [John] Ah. Like hookups
are more common here?

- [Jason] Oh, for sure dude. well,

based on what statistic?
maybe we don't know..

[John] There are actually some
viral tik toks of people

visitors (in Korea) kinda
observing people in public.

And the number of people
in pairs was like,

astonishing to them,

because here you can see
people walk around by themselves

and they're it seemed like at least like,

along the river

Like Hangang (famous, scenic river in Seoul).
-yeah

- [John] You see couples, or like in parks

it's always people sitting in pairs.

So there's certainly a cultural norm..