< Return to Video

What If Google Was A Guy (Part 3)

  • 0:03 - 0:05
    (Google) Next!
  • 0:05 - 0:06
    (angrily) NEXT!
  • 0:07 - 0:07
    COME ON!
  • 0:08 - 0:10
    If Google Was a Guy Part 3
  • 0:10 - 0:12
    - What up, Google?
    - (muttering) Oh god.
  • 0:12 - 0:14
    Electric outlets look surprised why?
  • 0:14 - 0:15
    Because--
  • 0:15 - 0:17
    Millipedes ten times faster than centipedes?
  • 0:18 - 0:20
    Baby powder made outta babies?
  • 0:20 - 0:21
    You know that it's not!
  • 0:22 - 0:23
    Well, hello there young man!
  • 0:23 - 0:25
    Big booty Puerto Rican goddess.
  • 0:27 - 0:28
    Taxes have to pay why?
  • 0:28 - 0:29
    What is YOLO?
  • 0:29 - 0:30
    is that your kids phone?
  • 0:30 - 0:32
    Is YOLO a drug?
  • 0:32 - 0:34
    Siri, how big is the Serengeti?
  • 0:34 - 0:35
    - You know, I actually--
    - No problem!
  • 0:35 - 0:37
    Show me pictures of spaghetti.
  • 0:37 - 0:39
    No, that's not what she asked for!
  • 0:39 - 0:45
    Your search for dsfbvtdgtffinfuejk returned no results.
  • 0:45 - 0:46
    (meowing)
  • 0:46 - 0:48
    (sassily) Vaccines cause autism.
  • 0:48 - 0:52
    Well, I have one million results that say they don't
  • 0:52 - 0:54
    and one result that says they do.
  • 0:55 - 0:56
    I knew it!
  • 0:56 - 1:00
    Just because I have it DOESN'T MEAN IT'S TRUEEE!
  • 1:00 - 1:03
    300 pound beautiful Indian princess.
  • 1:03 - 1:04
    What's a surf bored?
  • 1:04 - 1:05
    You mean surf board?
  • 1:05 - 1:07
    No! Surf bored.
  • 1:08 - 1:09
    Oh!
  • 1:09 - 1:10
    Do dead people pay taxes?
  • 1:11 - 1:13
    How do I get to the...deep web?
  • 1:14 - 1:15
    Follow me.
  • 1:16 - 1:17
    - Google?
    - (testily) You're here.
  • 1:17 - 1:20
    - Google.com.
    - That is ME.
  • 1:20 - 1:21
    Google.com website.
  • 1:23 - 1:24
    Eh?
  • 1:24 - 1:25
    Finally!
  • 1:25 - 1:27
    How make people think you die?
  • 1:27 - 1:29
    Sonic the Hedgehog pics.
  • 1:29 - 1:31
    The old Sega video games?
  • 1:31 - 1:33
    Safe search off!
  • 1:33 - 1:34
    Oh! What have you done?!
  • 1:34 - 1:36
    How big is the Serengeti?!
  • 1:36 - 1:38
    More pictures of spaghetti!
  • 1:38 - 1:39
    - More pictures of--
    - That's not what she asked for!
  • 1:39 - 1:41
    - THAT IS NOT WHAT SHE ASKED--
    - HOW BIG IS THE SERENGETI?!
  • 1:41 - 1:43
    - Why do Asian--
    - Have small noses,
  • 1:43 - 1:46
    wear face masks, have small eyes, have small penises--
  • 1:46 - 1:50
    Pandas have trouble mating in captivity. Jesus!
  • 1:50 - 1:51
    It's not me. It's them!
  • 1:51 - 1:53
    Where should you buy a life-like bearded mannequin?
  • 1:53 - 1:56
    Sorry, I don't see spaghetti in your contact!
  • 1:56 - 1:58
    (mocking Siri's speech)
  • 1:58 - 2:01
    Biggest, sexiest woman in all of Iraq.
  • 2:01 - 2:03
    Difference between the human body and a mannequin?
  • 2:03 - 2:04
    Oh my god!
  • 2:06 - 2:07
    Clear history.
  • 2:07 - 2:08
    (flames roar)
  • 2:10 - 2:14
    Alright. Sugar Ray ironically cool yet?
  • 2:15 - 2:16
    I'm sorry...
  • 2:17 - 2:18
    Bummer!
  • 2:20 - 2:22
    Big booty Puerto Rican goddess.
  • 2:23 - 2:25
    Hey, thanks so much for watching the video.
  • 2:25 - 2:27
    As a reward, we're gonna do a little improv scene for you.
  • 2:27 - 2:29
    Can we have a suggestion, please?
  • 2:29 - 2:31
    (off screen) Kill yourselves!
  • 2:31 - 2:32
    I heard "water balloons".
  • 2:32 - 2:35
    Uh, while we figure this out, please click to subscribe.
Title:
What If Google Was A Guy (Part 3)
Description:

more » « less
Video Language:
English
Duration:
02:35
Wouldn't you like to know? edited English subtitles for What If Google Was A Guy (Part 3)
Wouldn't you like to know? edited English subtitles for What If Google Was A Guy (Part 3)
Wouldn't you like to know? edited English subtitles for What If Google Was A Guy (Part 3)
Wouldn't you like to know? edited English subtitles for What If Google Was A Guy (Part 3)

English subtitles

Revisions