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Cyanide & Happiness - Put Em Down

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    Put 'Em Down
    A Cyanide and Happiness Short
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    DR. SCHMOCTOR
    THE BEST OF THE VETS
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    Poor little guy.
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    He's been sick for so long
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    and I feel so badly for him.
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    His little body is in so much pain,
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    I'm afraid the only option
    we have left is...you know...
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    (makes dying noises)
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    Mmm-hmm...
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    Mrs. Livingston,
    this is an adult human being
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    inside of an animal costume.
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    (toy squeaks)
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    Can't you see that he's in pain?
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    He's my pet and it's my decision.
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    And my decision is I
    want to end his suffering!
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    I see. And what is he
    suffering from exactly?
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    Well...
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    look at him!
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    (toy squeaks)
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    I tell you this every time you
    come in here, Mrs. Livingston!
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    This is your son, Kurt,
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    A 24 year old adult human male,
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    and I can't euthanize
    a 24 year old adult human male.
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    -Actually, it's Firedash.
    -Riiiight.
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    I'm a Pyrofox from the Forest Planet.
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    -(Firedash) I live in a den underground...
    -(Mom) No, you don't understand!
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    -(Firedash) ..in the Kingdom of Pyro...
    -(Mom) Firedash is sick!
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    -He's been...
    -(toy squeaks)
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    -He's been si--
    -(toy keeps squeaking)
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    -He's been sick a long time!
    -(toy squeaks loudly)
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    (sighs) Mrs. Livingston.
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    Call me Rachel.
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    Mrs. Livingston, this has been,
    and continues to be,
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    a complete waste
    of my time and resources,
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    on top of the fact that this
    is completely unethical!
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    It disregards Kurt's basic human rights!
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    It's Firedash.
    My name is Firedash.
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    You just don't want to live
    with a son who, as an adult,
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    wants to live his life
    as a magical human dog!
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    What?! Would you?
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    -Uh, I'm a pyrofox--
    -(doctor) Not to mention...
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    ..the responsibilities
    you have as a mother!
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    HIS mother.
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    -Come on! Please?
    -No.
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    Isn't there somewhere I
    could leave him or something?
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    Come on, Kurt!
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    Are you gonna let her treat you like this
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    or are you gonna stand
    up straight like a man and say,
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    "I'm here. I'm a magical dog boy,
    and I don't want to die, mom!"
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    I don't appreciate you referring
    to me as a cisgender human male.
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    I'm a trigender pyrofox.
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    Get out.
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    -Pleeease!
    -Get out.
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    -Pleeease!
    -Get out!
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    -Come on!
    -Get out! Get out of my office!
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    Oh! Fine.
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    (toy squeaks)
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    (toy squeaks)
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    -Shhhh, be quiet, poppet.
    -(toy squeaks)
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    -Soon you'll finally be free.
    -(toy squeaks)
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    (toy squeaks frantically)
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    (toy squeaks frantically)
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Title:
Cyanide & Happiness - Put Em Down
Description:
more » « less
Video Language:
English
Duration:
03:05

English subtitles

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