Live Our Life Whole: The Surface and the Depth of Our Being | Thich Nhat Hanh (EN subtitles)

Today is...

Today is February 04, 1993.

We're in the Upper Hamlet,

and we continue learning the 50 Verses
on the Nature of Consciousness.

In this morning's Dharma talk,
we've gone briefly into fears.

Because all of us have fears within.

And those fears are stealthily controlling
our behaviors, our thoughts,

and...

our language — without us knowing.

In the being of us humans, there's depth

and there's surface.

Let us train ourselves to live the depth
of our being also.

Instead of living the surface only.

The...

Going about our daily life, perhaps we're dealing
with people or with things, or getting our work done

using only the surface of our being.

And sometimes we think we're only that surface.

Fact is, we're much deeper than that.

And studying and training ourselves
in mindfulness means...

practicing living the depth of our being.

The surface of ours...

has been pushed around by the depth of our being.

We easily react.

Constantly on the verge of tears and laughter.

We do this, we do that.
We talk about this, we talk about that.

We think that we have...

have freedom

while behaving that way;
while dealing with others that way;

while talking,

working, or thinking that way.

But fact is, we're being...

pushed around by elements
lying deep in the depth of our being.

So, sometimes we've done things in a certain way
but we don't know why we've done it that way.

We've thought in a certain way but we don't know
why we've thought that way.

We've spoken in a certain way but we don't know
why we've spoken that way.

So, between the two persons of ours

— the deep person and the shallow person,

there is a gap.

And the gap between these two persons
— the deep one and the shallow one,

is...

increasingly

widening.

Until one day, we find that
we cannot reconcile ourselves

with life,

and we cannot reconcile ourselves
with ourselves, either.

We've become a strange guest to ourselves.

And we've also become a strange guest to life.

In Vietnam, people say there's a kind
of ghost called "ma hời."

At midnight,

that ghost leaves half of itself
laying well asleep on bed.

The other half goes eat somewhere,

feeding at night.

Wondering if you've ever heard about this before.

We ourselves are doing the same.

But we don't do this at midnight.
We do this during the day.

During the daytime, we leave the depth
— the lower half, of our being.

We only take the other, upper half with us

going about our daily life.

Meeting this person, that person.
Dealing with this matter, that matter.

Thinking.

Speaking.

Reacting.

For that reason, our life is not deep.

Because we've only lived half of it
— or even less than half.

For that reason, practicing means to connect
these two halves of ourselves together.

Whenever we speak, think, or do something,

we should be aware of

in which parts in the depth of our being

do all these speaking, thinking, and doing
have their roots.

Those deep-lying parts are inextricably linked
to the universe and to our blood ancestors.

Perhaps in the present moment, we think
we're not feeling sad, scared, or angry.

Because all the sadness, fear, and anger
are lying deep down

but we're only living the upper half.

So, at that moment we think
we're not sad, angry, or scared.

However, the fact is, that sadness,
that anger, that fear, is in us.

And they are stealthily manipulating us.

They're controlling us

indirectly.

So these are called...

internal knots.

Samyojana. "Triền sử" in Vietnamese.
The fetters that bind us and push us around.

When we practice living this way,
we'll be more cautious.

We'll be more introverted.
We'll be looking inwardly more deeply.

Why do we speak that way?
Why do we feel so sad like that?

Why do we think that way?

Because there are seeds,

because there are internal knots,

because there are habitual energies,

or customs

lying in the depth of our being.

They lead us to act like that,
speak like that, and think like that.

Practicing without being able to do this
will not lead to any transformations.

For that reason, we have to sew...

or stitch these two parts of ours together.

And do not fear

while doing this.

Because sometimes we're afraid of ourselves,

we don't want to come back to this depth,
this lower part within us.

Because in this depth are many wild, deserted areas

that we're so afraid of.

Once we have already established
a normal tie between the two parts,

that's when we establish a harmonious atmosphere.

We feel

there's a circulation in our veins
— 'veins' here means our spiritual veins.

At that moment, we feel less ill

because the dividing of our being into halves
like this causes a lot of illnesses.

We must have encountered someone
who's speaking and laughing

...all day, as if they're a very happy person.

And we ask,

"Why don't you stop a little bit
to catch your breath, dear brother?"

"Why don't you stop a little bit
to catch your breath, dear sister?"

"Why speak and laugh all day like that?"

This is how that person responds.

"If I stop, I feel dead."

"If I stop speaking and laughing,

I feel dead."

It's because

in that person, there's a huge void.

And that person has to do everything they can
to cover up this void

— be it with sounds,

with thinking,

or speaking and laughing.

Otherwise,

having to return to this huge void inside,
for that person, is too much to bear.

But this huge void lies deep down below,
in the depth of their being.

They just want to cut out this upper part,

and fill up this upper part.

So, for these people, going back to themselves
is something excruciating.

And they definitely don't want to go back.

They don't like listening to the bells.

They don't like walking meditation.
They don't like sitting meditation, either.

Because doing all of that, they're forced to go back

to this depth of their being.

For someone who speaks and laughs all day
as if they were a very happy person,

we can see in that person

a kind of illness

— negligence.

Which means, they're being
divided up by themselves.

These people need a sangha

and the practice in order
to come back to themselves

and to connect these two parts of theirs together.

If we're following the Buddha's teachings
really carefully,

we'll see this is what the Buddha taught us to do.

The Buddha said,

"O bhikkhus,

this is the foot of a tree.

Sit down there.

This is an empty, quiet room.

Sit down in there.

This is a deserted walking path.

Take this path."

We don't need much.

We just need the foot of a tree;

an empty, quiet room; or a deserted walking path

in order to come back to this depth of ours.

But if we...

are always afraid,

and all day every day, we want to...

be in crowds, encountering people,

it means we're constantly running away.

Not wanting to come back.

That's what the Buddha said in the sutra,
"This is the foot of a tree.

This is an empty, quiet room.

This is a deserted walking path.

Come back to yourselves.

Practice."

We don't need grand temples
or big statues to do this.

So, our sadness,

our fears, our anger, and our worries and anxieties

are lying deep in the depth, the lower part,
of our being

which we never want...

to be in touch with,

so we... behave like 'ma hời' ghosts,

abandoning one part, and
taking only the upper part with us

going about our daily life.

And that's not the solution. It's running away.

That's why we should do everything we can

to come back, and to connect these halves together.

Wherever we go, we bring this depth with us.

Wherever we sit, we sit with this depth.

One day, we'll see the results for ourselves.

Which is, when we look at someone,

listen to them talking,

see the way they think,
or see the way they're dealing with things,

we can see the 'deep person' within that person.

Once we've seen this 'deep person' in them,
we'll get to see why they speak that way,

act that way, or think that way.

Once we've understood them,
it'll be easier to accept them.

It'll be easier to love them,
to have compassion for them.

If we only see the upper part of that person

— their 'shallow person',

we'll get upset, we'll get angry, we'll want
to criticize them in every way possible.

We cannot see that
all that they've spoken, done, or thought

have their roots in the depth, the lower part,

from which they've been well separated.