The Twilight Zone To Serve Man

You're traveling
through another dimension-

a dimension not only of sight
and sound, but of mind,

a journey into a wondrous land

whose boundaries
are that of imagination.

Your next stop,
the twilight zone.

Mr. Chambers? Mr. Chambers?

It is the mealtime.

Kindly state
your preference, please.

Mr. Chambers?

It is the mealtime.

Kindly state your preference.

Please deposit cigarettes
in appropriate receptacle.

This is a safety measure.

Why don't you take
a flying jump at the moon?

Kindly repeat request.

Aw, knock it off,
leave me alone.

You do not care
for food at this time?

Yes, i do not care
for food at this time.

Very well.

Very well... very, very well.

Please conserve water.

What time is it?

There is no time in space.

This is to say

there is no chronology
that can be calibrated.

I said what time is it,
what time is it on earth?

Can you tell me that

without an exercise
in euclidean geometry?

Now, just tell me
what time it is on earth.

On earth it would be 12:00 noon.

12:00 noon, 12:00 noon.

This is the way
nightmares begin...

or, perhaps, end.

Very simple, direct, unadorned.

Incredible,
and yet so terribly real

that even
while they're happening

we live with them
and digest them

and assimilate them.

And if it's 12:00 noon

that's what you
preoccupy yourself with.

You don't think
about 12:00 noon

on the next day
or the day after that.

But that's what we should
have been thinking about-

tomorrow
and the day after tomorrow.

We were preoccupied
with the hands on a clock

when we should have been
checking off a calendar.

It was an april day,
and it was noon then, too.

And people walked and drove

and bought and sold
and fretted and laughed.

The world went on
much as it had been going on

with a tentative tiptoeing

alongside a precipice
of crisis.

There was berlin to worry about

and indochina, and algeria

and all the other myriad
problems, major and minor

that somehow had lost
their incisive edge of horror

because we were
so familiar with them.

And then...

and that's when it happened.

That's when we first heard
that they had come.

That's when we should
have prepared ourselves

for any eventuality,
but we didn't.

Instead, we milled around
like frightened farm animals

looking for formulas
and father images,

while the secretary general
of the united nations

made the first
official announcement

of the arrival of creatures
from outer space.

They called themselves kanamits

and announced
over the short wave

that on that given afternoon,
they would arrive on earth.

At 11:00 this morning,
eastern standard time

the first of these landings

took place in an area just
outside of newark, new jersey.

Subsequently, we have had
reports of other landings

in the soviet union, in norway,
the southern coast of france

just outside of rio de janeiro
and several others.

Speaking on behalf
of the united nations,

i can only tell you
that at this moment

it would be premature
to assume hostile intent

on the part of these...
these kanamits.

And so, it is the position
of the united nations

that the world population
remain calm,

to make no hostile move,

to keep in mind

that all governments
are being apprised

of the events as they happen

and have the situation
well in hand.

What do they look like?
Yeah, what do they look like?

Please, gentlemen,
please...

who are they, mr.Secretary general?
Can't we get

a more specific statement?
We do not know what they look like.

We only know that several
of their craft have landed

and that they...

what's the secret?

Why can't we have
a statement?

What's going on?
What's happening here?

Please,
mr. Secretary general...

it appears... it appears
that one of the craft

has landed just
a few blocks away.

That close?
Does the defense department know...?

One of their representatives
is on his way to this building.

Fantastic!
Unbelievable!

Respectfully submitted
for your perusal... a kanamit.

A little over nine feet.

Weight:In the neighborhood
of 350 pounds.

Origin: Unknown.

Motives?

Therein hangs the tale,
for in just a moment

we're going to ask you
to shake hands, figuratively,

with a christopher columbus

from another galaxy
and another time.

This is the twilight zone.

Ladies and gentlemen
of the earth,

we greet you
in peace and friendship.

We come from a planet
far beyond this galaxy,

a planet far more developed
than earth,

but we come as friends.

Although we know your language,

our own methods of communication
are mental rather than verbal.

Hence, the voice you hear me
speaking with

is totally mechanical.

Our intentions are honorable.

We desire above all things
to help the people of earth...

...to establish embassies here,

and, in the near future,
to set up reciprocal visits

between earth people
and kanamits.

Perhaps you watched
this initial questioning-

most people on earth did

on television sets,
radios, shortwave.

Surely, some of the questions
asked by your representatives

must have been identical
to a few of your own

because as a race,
we're unaccustomed to charity.

Brutality is a far more
universal language to us

than an expression of friendship
from outer space.

Would you be willing to
be interrogated here

and at this time?

There are u.n.
Delegates present

from most of the
important countries

and the television cameras

are carrying our meeting
throughout the world.

I will be glad to.

Senor valdes of argentina
is recognized.

Thank you, mr. Secretary.

Senor, could you
please inform us

precisely why have you chosen
this planet for your visit?

It has come to our attention

that earth has
been plagued

by both natural and
unnatural catastrophes

all of which could easily
be acted upon and prevented.

We are here to help you.

Recognizing dr. Denis leveque,
the representative of france.

Monsieur, my government
wishes me to ask you

the nature of your help.

What forms will it take?

Indeed, if we should prefer
not to avail ourselves

of the various aids
that you mentioned,

your reply would be what?

We will not force
anything on you.

You will take only that
which you choose to take.

For example, tomorrow
we will demonstrate

to all interested parties

a new and extremely
interesting power source

which is atomic
in nature

and which can supply
a form of electric power

for entire countries

for the cost
of a few dollars.

It's extremely economical.

Mr. Gregori,
the representative

of the soviet union,
is recognized.

The soviet people would
like to ask the kanamits

precisely-
i repeat that to him-

precisely what
are your motives

in coming here
quite uninvited?

Are we to assume
that there is no ulterior motive

beyond this vast humanity
you speak of?

There is nothing ulterior
in our motives.

Nothing at all.

You will discover this
for yourselves before too long

simply by testing
the various devices

which we will make
available to you.

We can show you,
for example,

how to add a certain very
cheap nitrate to the soil

and end famine on earth
for good and all.

We can demonstrate
to you quite practically

the principles
of the force field

in which you may
cloak each nation

with an invisible wall

absolutely impenetrable
by bombs, missiles,

or anything else.

We ask only
that you trust us.

Only that you simply trust us.

That was what we all thought.

It was the age of santa claus.

Only these kriss kringles
came without white whiskers

and rosy cheeks
and twinkling eyes.

They were nine-feet tall enigmas

who descended on us
like locusts.

But nobody was counting
or worrying.

Except perhaps
a few professionals

whose job it was
to second guess.

In a sense, i was one of these-

a decoding specialist for
the united states government,

and this is where
i got into the act.

Well, chambers,
what have you got?

A corker of a migraine headache
and eye strain.

You can't lick it?

No, not in eight hours, i can't.

Colonel,
it took us almost a year

to crack the japanese code-

we had an army of men
working on that.

But this is a language of people
from outer space,

probably 500 times
as intelligent as we are

and a thousand times
more complex.

You need more help?

All donations
gratefully accepted.

I showed this
to every man on our staff.

I've had a dozen people working
on it since late last night.

We've tried
pretty much everything-

single transposition,
double transposition.

We've tried every known method
of cryptography there is,

and i don't know
whether we're even close

or a million miles away.

Are you saying it's
indecipherable?

No, we've just got
to keep trying, that's all.

Standard, direct, reversed,
systematically mixed,

keyword mixed, random mixed,

reciprocal, conjugate.

Every nature of sequence
of letters there is.

I'll tell you something,
colonel, this is a tough nut.

This is a real tough nut.

How important is it?

Hmm, i don't know.

That... that kanamit,

or whatever it is
he calls himself,

walked off and left
this book yesterday at the u.n.

The white house feels
if we can decipher this book

we can find out
what they're up to.

Well, obviously,
nothing but our good.

He hasn't commented
on the loss of this book.

Probably unconcerned.

Why should we be so concerned?

They've done all right
by us so far.

Parlor tricks.

They don't seem like
parlor tricks to me, colonel.

That new nitrate use
they demonstrated

in argentina this morning-

that soil had more vitamins
in it six hours later

than a drugstore chain.

I know that country.

That's as barren and fruitless
as any place on earth.

Well...

we might lick this,
we might not.

But i got
a strange feeling.

What?

That we're looking

a gift horse in the mouth.

I got another
funny feeling, too.

And that is?

That if these kanamits

are as helpful as
i think they are,

you boys will be
out of a job.

And probably, so will i.

Am i to assume

this is a scientific
analysis, mr. Chambers,

or just some
kentucky windage?

Well, i don't know
what it is, colonel,

beyond an instinctive
feeling.

When this earth
gets enough to eat

and there are no more wars
or diseases or famines,

this is going to be
a garden of eden.

Your optimism is most
refreshing, mr. Chambers,

but i suggest for the time being
you continue

your process of deciphering

until you can
tell us precisely-

and i mean precisely-
what that book says.

We've licked the title, anyway.

What does it say?

How much
does it tell us?

Here it is.

Well, that makes the cheese

a little more binding,
wouldn't you say, colonel?

I'd call that a reasonably
altruistic phrase,

do you agree, patty?

Well, i, uh...

well, i want to
believe it, but...

i don't know
what to think.

"To serve man."

I hope so.

I fervently hope so.

Gentlemen,
the purpose of this meeting

is to acquaint you with certain
tests made over the past week.

At the request
of several delegates

and with the full consent

of our guests, the kanamits,

these tests were filmed,
cut together into one short film

and you can watch them now.

Kindly lower the screen.

These are
the standard instruments used

to determine
the truth of a statement.

Our first object,

since the physiology of the
kanamits is unknown to us,

was to determine whether or not
they react to these tests

as human beings do.

We will now repeat one
of the many experiments made

in an effort
to discover this fact.

This instrument records
the subject's heartbeat.

This one shows the electrical
conductivity of the skin

in the palm of the hand-

a measure of perspiration,
which increases under stress.

This one shows the pattern

and intensity
of the electrical waves

emanating
from the subject's brain.

Which of these is
longer than the other?

The gray.

I shall repeat
the question.

Which of these is
longer than the other?

The black.

How did you get
to this planet?

Walked.

Once again, how did
you get to this planet?

In a spaceship.

Many such experiments were made

and my colleagues and myself
are satisfied

that the mechanisms
are effective.

Now, i shall ask
our distinguished guest

to reply to the question
put at the last session

by several of the delegates.

Namely, what is the motive
of the kanamit people

in offering such great gifts

to the people of the earth?

I hope that the people of earth
will understand and believe

when i tell you that our mission
upon this planet is simply this:

To bring to you the peace and
plenty which we ourselves enjoy

and which we have in the past

brought to other races
throughout the galaxy.

When your world
has no more hunger,

no more war,
no more needless suffering,

that will be our reward.

And the machine
showed no deviation.

According to it, the kanamit
was telling the truth.

You and i and the rest of
this earth had a ringside seat

to the rebirth of every dream
man had ever dreamed.

Santa claus came through.

Arid deserts became gardens

with the devices the kanamits
showed us how to use.

The force field that was
to end war did precisely that.

Armies and navies
were practically disbanded.

Please check your guest visas.

This is flight number 267
from earth to our planet.

They tell me they have
a mean temperature of 76 degrees

on their planet,
and the sun never goes down.

And there clothing-

it's a metallic substance,
just beautiful.

Kind of like a spun gold.

My sister wrote me.

She says the day you land,

they take you on a conducted
tour of all their shops

and you can pick out as
much of it as you want.

But it's an entire planet.

It's bigger than china.

Besides it's an opportunity

to spread peaceful coexistence
to an entire galaxy.

Stand aside, please,
i have diplomatic visa.

It's just one big holiday
when you get there.

They've even got
a form of baseball.

Leagues of everything,
just like we've got.

And the whole trip,
billions of miles,

only takes just a few days.

Oh, man, i don't think
i'll want to come back

once i do get there.

I'm going home, boss.

Need me for anything?

Need you for anything?
Like what?

This isn't exactly what you call
a beehive of activity.

Well, this is
the new story of man.

Nobody needs to decipher
much of anything anymore

because there aren't
any more codes

simply because there aren't
any more secret messages.

Odd.

Huh?

Well, i mean,

we're not reading
about the hydrogen bomb

or war scares or insurrections

or anything like that anymore.

Millennium.

Yeah, close to it.

How many of them
are around now?

Anybody ever
figure it out?

A few thousand, i guess.

They've got embassies
in every country now.

And for every one
of them that comes,

a few thousand of us
take off in one of their ships

to live with them.

Yeah, that's
the odd thing:

The fantastic ease
with which

human beings make adjustments.

One day, they watch
with bated breath

while a single individual
orbits the earth

in a rinky-dink
little cubicle

and they think this is
the most historic moment

that's ever happened in
the history of mankind.

And then, one year later,

they stand in line

waiting to take off
in a spaceship

to go 100 billion miles
off into space

and they act and react

as if this were
a weekend picnic in the country.

Oh, strange
and complex sanity of man.

Nothing fazes him.

Are you going?

Well, as a matter of fact

i'm on a ten-year
exchange group waiting list.

And what about you, patty?

I'm on the list, too.

The trouble is,
their quotas fill

just as soon as they make
the announcement of a new trip.

While i'm waiting,

i think i'll do the
next best thing.

I'm still working
on that book.

Deciphering that title
has been of no help

because their capital
letters are different

than the other signs they use,

just as ours are.

But it's starting
to fall into place.

I think i'll get
the answer eventually.

Well, i gave up
trying a month ago.

This is flight number 914

from earth to our planet.

We will be taking off
in three minutes.

Mr. Chambers!

Mr. Chambers!

Don't get on that ship!

The rest of the book,
to serve man-it's...

it's a cookbook!

No! No!

No, no, no!

Hey! No!

You have not eaten enough,
mr. Chambers.

Please, enjoy.

Eat hearty.

Please, mr. Chambers, eat.

We wouldn't want you
to lose weight.

How about you?

You still on earth
or on the ship with me?

Well, it doesn't make
very much difference

because sooner or later
we'll all of us be on the menu-

all of us.

The recollections
of one michael chambers

with appropriate flashbacks
and soliloquy.

Or more simply stated,
the evolution of man,

the cycle of going
from dust to dessert...

the metamorphosis from being
the ruler of a planet

to an ingredient
in someone's soup.

It's tonight's bill of fare
on the twilight zone.