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Hi everybody, Stefan Molyneux from Freedomain
Radio, I hope you're doing magnificently.
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So recently, Emma Watson gave a speech at
the United Nations dedicated to inviting men
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to join women in the fight for gender equality,
and made some excellent, excellent points,
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while other points were, at least to me, somewhat
confusing.
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First, she says: "I was appointed as Goodwill
Ambassador for U.N. Women six months ago,
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and the more I've spoken about feminism, the
more I have realized that fighting for women's
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rights has too often become synonymous with
man-hating. If there is one thing I know for
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certain, it is that this has to stop."
Now, I'm not sure if she means some feminists
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hate men, which has to stop - or whether the
incorrect assumption that some feminists hate
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men has to stop.
Assuming she meant the former, kudos to Miss
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Watson for naming the elephant in the room,
which is that certain elements of the feminist
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movement have become kind of virulently anti-male.
Now, certainly, no movement can be defined
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by its extremists, but movements can be - and
I think should be - defined by how they react
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to those extremists. So for instance, I recently
gave a speech at a men's conference in Detroit
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that had to move venues, pay tens of thousands
of dollars in extra security costs, and was
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almost canceled as a result of radical feminist
death and bomb threats. I did not see any
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write-ups, any outrage or any condemnation
of the violence from feminists as a whole
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- even though a number of women speaking at
the conference would also have been blown
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up if the threats had been made real.
Just imagine if a feminist conference was
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disrupted, and almost destroyed, by threats
of extreme violence from men's rights extremists.
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The outrage would be universal - and I guarantee
you that men's rights activists would loudly
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and repeatedly condemn such actions and threats.
Miss Watson claimed that many people misunderstand
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what feminism really is:
"For the record, feminism, by definition,
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is the belief that men and women should have
equal rights and opportunities. It is the
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theory of the political, economic, and social
equality of the sexes."
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I have found it a generally wise policy to
judge groups empirically, rather than according
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to their mission statements, their public
relations texts, or whatever the dictionary
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happens to says. For instance, if feminism
was really about gender egalitarianism, then
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feminists would be working hard to correct
imbalances which favor women at the expense
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of men. For instance, women now significantly
outnumber men in the halls of higher education,
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in many countries, and girls are significantly
outperforming boys in many school. Feminists
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worked very hard to promote the interests
of women in the field of education - now that
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women are outstripping men, are feminists
promoting policies that help men and boys
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achieve equality? If they are, it must have
escaped my notice - with due exception to
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the wonderful Christina Hoff Sommers.
From family courts to divorce settlements
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to alimony; from father's rights to child
support; from inequalities in criminal convictions
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to gender-biased sentencing, there are many
areas where women are generally treated better
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than men, but I have not seen feminists spend
any real effort attempting to promote egalitarianism
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where women have the upper hand.
In other words, empirically, feminism is generally
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more "that which promotes the interests of
certain women" rather than "that which aims
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for true equality between the sexes."
I'm sure that there are exceptions, of course,
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but reciting a dictionary definition and pretending
that this somehow alters the accumulated evidence
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of many decades is somewhat naive, to say
the least.
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Miss Watson then provides some examples of
sexism that she has witnessed and/or experienced
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in her childhood:
"When I was eight, I was confused about being
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called 'bossy' because I wanted to direct
the plays that we would put on for our parents.
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But the boys were not. When at 14, I started
to be sexualized by certain elements of the
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media. When at 15, my girlfriends started
dropping out of their beloved sports teams
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because they didn't want to appear 'muscle-y.'
When at 18, my male friends were unable to
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express their feelings; I decided that I was
a feminist."
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First of all, I don't think I would have the
arrogance to imagine that I understood everything
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that a young girl had gone through in her
childhood.
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If, as a boy, I had constantly told my friends
that I was in charge, and they had to do what
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I wanted, I would certainly have been rejected
as 'bossy,' but Miss Watson imagines that
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she knows what all of the boys in her childhood
circle experienced. Has she asked them?
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Also note that she does not talk about sharing
directorial duties, but rather wanting them
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all to herself. In every childhood group, everyone
wants to try out being a leader,
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learning to negotiate a hierarchy among equals is an
essential task that all children really need to learn.
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Now, it goes without saying that the sexualization
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of 14-year-olds is reprehensible, that certainly
gets no argument from me, of course.
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I am confused when Miss Watson reports that
her female friends dropped out of their beloved
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sports teams because they did not want to
appear "too muscle-y." Did they imagine that
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toned and muscled female bodies are unattractive
to men? There appear to be countless cheesecake
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shots of female athletes scattered around
the web, and dancers are often considered
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to have wonderful physiques - and women's
health websites are continually promoting
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the value and attractiveness of exercise,
so I don't quite understand what this means.
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Perhaps some of Miss Watson's friends were
weightlifters - but the unattractiveness to
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some people of extremely large muscles is
not confined to either gender - many women
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find extremely muscled men unattractive as
well. Thus if women were toned and healthy,
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that would seem to be an ideal that most women
aspire to - if they were excessively muscled,
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that's a different story, not one really just
confined to women.
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Miss Watson then sounded the clarion call
for male involvement:
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"I want men to take up this mantle so that their
daughters, sisters, and mothers can be free
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from prejudice—but also so that their sons have
permission to be vulnerable and human, too,
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We claim that there is part of themselves that they've abandoned
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and in doing so, be a more true and complete
version of themselves."
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To be honest, this troubles me enormously,
because she is basically saying that women
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cannot free themselves, they have nothing
whatsoever to do with the cycle of oppression,
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and require men to release them from bondage.
I certainly applaud her encouragement of male
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vulnerability and emotional openness - one
significant way that feminists can help that
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process along is, as I mentioned before, to
strongly reject and oppose feminists who threaten
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to murder, bomb, and kill men for speaking
their minds and sharing their experiences
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at - say - conferences.
But smuggled into this general statement is
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also an incredible condemnation of men and
excusing of women. Men must get involved because
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only men are bad - women cannot free themselves
without men saving them because women are
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only victims, never perpetrators. Men-bad/Women-good…
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If a woman is drowning, and she needs someone
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else to save her - yelling at her to save
herself is worse than useless, she can't instantly
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learn how to swim if she doesn't know. Demanding,
or requiring, or inviting men to save women
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strips women of any moral responsibility or
moral agency in the cycle of violence that
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so consumes the world.
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But - but is that true? Are women always victims of men?
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Ah, well… Welcome to the underground world
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of female violence, the great unspoken horror
that drives so many of the world's evils.
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Women are responsible for half of domestic
violence incidents, in many Western countries.
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80% of British mothers hit their babies before
the babies are even one year old. 25, estimated
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25 percent of pedophiles are women. In a recent
US study, middle-class mothers hit their babies
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and toddlers, on average, over 900 times a
year. The idea that endlessly bashing toddlers
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has nothing whatsoever to do with the perpetuation
of the cycle of violence is absolutely jaw-dropping.
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I, for one, would be thrilled to hear a feminist
say something like the following:
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"Certainly there is anti-female prejudice
in the world, and we have been speaking about
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that for decades, if not centuries - but ladies,
my sisters, I invite you to turn away from
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men, and look inwards, towards yourselves,
and see what we can do - independent of men
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- to bring about a better world. Most mothers
hit their children - this cannot be blamed
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on children, it is a moral failing of women.
No man stands behind us and commands us to
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hit our children - men have their issues and
faults, and evils, to be sure, but in this
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instance, in this circumstance, we need to
look directly in the mirror to find the source
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of so many of the world's ailments, evils
and catastrophes. It is time for us to stop
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only blaming men, which merely disempowers
us and insults men, and accept the responsibility
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of becoming peaceful parents. This is, in
fact, our fight to win, and it will probably
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take a generation or two at least to turn
the tide of this female-fueled violence against
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children. Let us turn our eyes away from the
faults of men, which has had our attention
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for far too long, and support each other in
finding ways to be parents without being violent."
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Now that would be what I would call empowerment!
Her next point:
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"Men, I would like to take this opportunity
to extend your formal invitation.
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I've seen young men suffering from mental illness,
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unable to ask for help, for fear it would make them
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less of a men—or less of a man. I've seen
men made fragile and insecure by a distorted
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sense of what constitutes male success.
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Men don't have the benefits of equality, either."
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It may seem nice for Miss Watson to extend
the olive branch to men, and tell us that
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men suffer from gender inequality - but frankly,
men already know that, and we have known it
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for a very long time. Men around the world
are drafted into insane wars, work night and
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day to provide for women and children, die
by the tens of thousands in horrible industrial
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accidents, are regularly barred from seeing
their own children,
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have no reproductive rights,
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and are forced to pay alimony to ex-wives
for decades -
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die sooner, just to name a few!
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It certainly is true that men often find it
hard to ask for help,
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and sometimes do have a distorted view
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of what constitutes male
success - and I certainly do appreciate Miss
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Watson for bringing these two topics up -
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but I'm afraid I must take issue with her reliance
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on her merely personal observations rather
than, say,
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asking men what is important to us.
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She is speaking at the United Nations,
after all, not to her tiny circle of friends
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and family. Women are supposed to be great
listeners -
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might not be a bad time to take that for a spin.
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I mean if I were to do a speech addressing
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the issues of Gypsy migrants in Romania, I
don't think I would talk about a Gypsy I saw
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once in a fairground in Pennsylvania.
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If I want to speak to men about gender issues,
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what should I do? Well, what feminists seem
resolutely opposed to doing,
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which is, say, googling the term "top men's rights issues."
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I did just that, and chose the first result,
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which gave the following top ten list:
"10.) The Male Gender Role (4%) That's right,
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folks, chivalry has got to go. No longer should
men be expected to be the providers and protectors
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of society. There needs to be no shame in
showing weakness, fear, and emotions other
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than anger. No one should be expected to 'man
up' and internalize their problems until they
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go mad. We don't want to be conscripted and
sent over to die to protect the womenfolk,
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or be expected to do all [of] the backbreaking
labor on our own. Just because we have penises
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doesn't mean we should be forced to abide
by additional societal expectations, especially
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when those lead to an early grave."
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So, Miss Watson, in her attempts to motivate
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and enroll men by addressing our issues, chose
the very least important aspect of the very
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least important men's rights issue. Also,
she appeals to chivalry - “heforshe” - and
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asks men to man up and be the providers and
protectors of women,
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which is exactly what men don't want any more.
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The very essence of disposable masculinity
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- that men are faceless utilities only useful
for delivering resources to women and children
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- is so ingrained in society
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that a woman attempting to address men's issues cannot
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conceive of actually asking us what our issues
are!
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It only matters what she has noticed,
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not what men have been desperately crying
out for… for decades.
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The number 9 Men's Issue:
"Negative Portrayal of men in the Media (5%).
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Tired of seeing dumb and deadbeat dads?
Sick of every man on TV being a sex-obsessed
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womanizer? So are we.
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Men are often seen as incompetent, misogynistic, brutish slobs with
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few redeeming qualities.
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When there is a boys vs. girls competition in a children's television show when scripted,
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the girls always win and the boys are treated like fools.
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When boys complain, they're expected to 'man up.'
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TV shows, commercials, and movies ought to
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portray men in a more positive light."
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"Number 8: Educating Boys (5%) Boys are being
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misdiagnosed with ADD/ADHD from the time they
enter grade school. They are falling behind
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in math and literacy, and the number of boys
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going for college degrees is incredibly low—something
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needs to be done about that.
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By expanding help and assistance for boys' education,
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we can continue to help boys learn to enjoy school
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and continue learning, leading to better futures
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for themselves and society."
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"Number 7: Making Government Programs Gender-Neutral
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or Accompanied by a Male Equivalent (6.2%)
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Whether for single mothers, domestic violence,
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or health research, tremendous amounts of
government money goes to
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women's aid. Men have the right to the same assistance
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Domestic violence programs and policies that name women
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as the only group that are abused—and therefore
the only group deserving of assistance—
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should be expanded to cover men as well.
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Men and women are different, and sometimes an approach
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that will work for women will not work for
men.
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Other aspects, such as health research,
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cannot be gender-neutral all the way,
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which is why a male equivalent is needed."
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"Number 6: Better Treatment of Men Regarding
False Accusations (7%).
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Unfortunately, false accusations of rape and domestic violence occur.
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Men are publicly shamed and often face
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ire even after proven innocent. Court trials
for accusations last too long,
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and there is a minimal sentence , if any,
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when a false accusation is discovered. A major goal of men's rights
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is to expand anonymity for men accused of
rape, and for false accusations to be treated
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like the serious crime they are."
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"Number 5: Reproductive Rights (7%)
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Tied with false accusations is reproductive rights.
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There is no male pill, and there is no way
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to avoid fatherhood at will. If a woman gets
pregnant and doesn't want to have the child
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but the man does, the man loses.
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At the same time, if she wants to have the child and the
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man doesn't, the man loses.
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The goal is not to let men walk away in the middle of parenting,
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But to have the choice if they want to be involved in raising the child in the first place.
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When a man chooses not to be involved
from the start,
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he's considered a deadbeat,
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yet when a woman chooses to give a child up
for adoption
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or [to] not be involved, [or] to have an abortion, is completely [accepted].
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There are countless options for women,
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and none for men."
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"Number 4: Removing the Notion That All Men
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Are Potential Rapists/Pedophiles (9%)
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In her 1977 novel, The Women's Room, author Marilyn
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French wrote a line of dialog in which a female
rape victim says,
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'All men are rapists, and that's all they are.'
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This line has become
a well-known quote among the Men's Rights
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Movement. Today, the idea is rather strong
in people's heads that men in the company
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of small children are, by nature, abusers.
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We have organizations such as 'Men Against Rape'
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teaching that women are afraid and we
need to be careful not to rape women.
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The overwhelming majority of men
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have no interest or intention of raping a woman or being a pedophile,
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yet all men are treated as a threat.
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We need to hold these few people accountable-
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not the entire male gender."
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Number 3: Anti-Male Double Standards (10%)
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This is a widespread issue that's related
to #10. There seems to be the notion that
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when men break a gender barrier,
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such as playing field hockey, they're being aggressive, bent
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on winning. At the same time, if a girl wants
to play football,
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she's a groundbreaking fighter
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for women's rights. An adult man has a relationship
with a younger teenage girl?
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He's a disgusting pedophile.
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A teenage guy with an adult woman?
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She's lauded and called a cougar—it's considered hot.
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While women seldom go unpunished in cases
of abuse,
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their sentencing is often nowhere near as severe as men's.
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"Number 2: Feminism (11%)
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You can debate whether the original goal of feminism to bring men down,
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or if it was an unintended consequence.
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But when we started helping girls more in
school, boys were pushed aside.
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In recent years, we've seen protests
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against anonymity for rape accusations, denial of false accusations
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as an issue, and fathers' rights groups demonized
for wanting power
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instead of time with their children
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and fair alimony/child-support payments.
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We can't undo what has been done, but, by
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dealing with the parts of feminism that are
anti-male, we can prevent further damage."
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"Number 1: Fathers' Rights (20%)
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Winning twice as many the votes as the second-place option
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and one-fifth of the votes overall,
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father's rights reigns supreme as the top issue.
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A father has the right to see his child after
a divorce
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and to have his child in his custody more often.
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Accusations without support are
exactly that—accusations—
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and a father should not be separated
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from his children on that basis alone. Child support payments
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are often extreme and unmanageable,
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making it a struggle for men to even meet the necessary
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payments while keeping a roof over [his] heads.
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In some states, rates do not change—even
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if there is a pay cut, unemployment, or a
career change involved."
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Miss Watson, if you want to speak to men,
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you first must listen to us. The previous
-
list is just from some websites, it's not
comprehensive,
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it's not scientific, it's not perfect-
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but it's not a bad start. Look,
I'm sure you spent many days or weeks preparing
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your speech, but you clearly did not spend
even 10 minutes of that time actually finding
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out what men need and want, what our issues
are,
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what our priorities are, what is actually
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destroying so many of us.
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Your speech in this area is the equivalent
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of me doing a speech about the needs and wants
of Native Americans,
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and earnestly telling
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the world that I knew a Native American once
who got drunk a lot.
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People would rightly
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castigate me for my complete failure to research
the Native American perspective at all.
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"Did you actually talk to a Native American?"
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"Ummm,
I guess it never really crossed my mind…"
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If you are a feminist, and you want to enroll
and motivate men,
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lecturing us about our supposed
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failings - while failing to ask us any questions
whatsoever -
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is mere finger-wagging narcissism.
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Anti-male prejudice is so ingrained in our
hive minds that not one mainstream or female
-
commentator - to my knowledge at least -
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has pointed out the blindingly obvious fact that
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Miss Watson wants to talk about gender equality
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and the needs of women, and cannot even conceive
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of asking men what our needs are.
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There are thousands of passionate, committed
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and dedicated men's rights advocates throughout
the world - Miss Watson could have called
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any of them up to ask about men's issues.
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I'm sure they would have leapt at the chance
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to bring men's issues to the forefront of
an international discussion.
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Can you imagine how powerful it would have been for men
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throughout the world to see their most desperate and
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essential issues brought to the intention
of the entire planet? Miss Watson's speech
-
was a tragically missed opportunity
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to genuinely speak to men, and to genuinely motivate men,
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to trigger an outpouring of relief and gratitude
from men at finally being heard - sadly, her
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speech contains no curiosity, no questions,
no men's voices or concerns
-
- it was just yet another example of a woman lecturing
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at men without listening to us - and demanding
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that we provide resources for the safety,
security and comfort of women to boot!
-
It was about as retrograde a speech as can
be conceivably imagined,
-
and it only served
-
to remind men just how far we still have to
go to be heard.
-
So other than repeating the endlessly debunked
myth that women make less than men for the
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same work - in fact, women with the same education
have been in the workforce for the same amount
-
of time as men actually make a little bit
more than men - Miss Watson had two last points
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she wanted to make:
Men suffer from gender stereotypes, too:
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"We don't often talk about men being imprisoned
by gender stereotypes, but I can see that
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they are. And that when they are free, things
will change for women as a natural consequence.
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If men don't have to be aggressive, in order
to be accepted, women won't feel compelled
-
to be submissive. If men don't have to control,
women won't have to be controlled."
-
Okay, so here, she explicitly states that
women are helpless victims of male actions,
-
with about as much free will and moral autonomy
as your average shadow. This is standard feminist
-
accusatory tone: when men improve, women will
naturally improve as well - the idea that
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the exact opposite could be possibly true
is so foreign and incomprehensible to people
-
that it's like going to a physics conference
-
and stating that gravity actually repels rather
-
than attracts.
Ladies, my sisters - let me lay it out for
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you as plainly as I can:
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Before we are men, we are boys. When we are boys, we are under
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the command and control of women almost exclusively.
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We are parented by women, disciplined by women,
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educated by women - we are raised by women.
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And those women scream at us and hit us.
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A lot.
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In a recent study, as I mentioned, middle-class
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American women hit their toddlers - age 7
months
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to three years - over 900 times a year.
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80% of these British mothers hit their babies.
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African-American mothers are even more violent
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towards helpless and dependent boys and girls.
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In India and China - the most populous regions
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of the world - hitting children is an epidemic,
and staunchly defended. Treatment of children
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in Africa remains, in general, brutal.
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Feminists, are you concerned about male aggression?
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3-5 year old toddlers spanked by mothers are
much more likely to break rules and act aggressively
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by the age of 9 than children who aren't spanked.
-
Miss Watson, feminists as a whole - do you
-
want men to use their words, rather than act
out aggressively?
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Spanking reduces verbal
-
fluency, and increases aggression.
-
And mothers, in the West hit helpless children
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50% more than fathers do.
-
Do you really, really, really think that women
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can do nothing whatsoever - other than lecture
men -
-
to end the cycle of violence in the world?
-
Ladies, now, now, now is the time for empowerment.
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Forget about blaming others - empowerment
means focusing on
-
what you can achieve, right now,
-
today, without begging for their participation
of others.
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Mothers, mothers, mothers, stop
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hitting your children… Just stop.
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Don't blame men, don't blame poverty, don't blame
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your children, don't blame some abstract institution,
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don't blame “the patriarchy…” Just stop
-
hitting your children. You are individual
moral agents.
-
You don't give excuses to men
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for hitting women; there are no excuses for
you hitting children,
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which is a far worse moral crime,
-
because children are completely
helpless and dependent, and never chose you
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as their mother.
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Boys - and countless girls of course - are
-
hit by their mothers hundreds of times a year;
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from babyhood onward they crawl forward under
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a literal hailstorm of female assaults.
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For women to claim that they are helpless in the
-
face of male aggression, that they can do
nothing
-
to change the cycle of violence, is
-
literally madness - it's like planting an
apple tree,
-
and then railing against the apple
-
tree for being an apple tree.
-
We reap what we sow.
-
If there is one thing that I know,
-
it is that women have the greatest possible power and
-
influence over the cycle of violence
-
that has forever strangled peace in this world.
-
I am a stay-at-home father to a wonderful
daughter, and I'm certainly sensitive to the
-
needs and issues of women,
-
but really, ladies, my sisters: crying out that you can do nothing
-
to end violence - and that men need to rush
in and save you from the patriarchy - turns
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women into hysterical Victorian caricatures,
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fainting on couches and helplessly weeping
-
for salvation.
-
Yeah, there's this old myth about the "rule of thumb".
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You know, that men could hit women
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with a stick no bigger than their thumb.
-
This has always been a falsehood calculated to
slander men
-
it was never true by the way…
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The Massachusetts Bay Colony prohibited wife-beating
in 1655:
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"No man shall strike his wife nor
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any woman her husband on penalty of such fine
-
not exceeding ten pounds for one offense,
-
or such corporal punishment as the County
shall determine."
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Hmmm, well, no rule of thumb there.
-
Do you get what that means, ladies, my sisters?
-
Do you get what that means?
-
359 years ago it was illegal to hit your wife.
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And yet mothers still hit their children,
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and complain about the violence in the world
-
- the violence they help create.
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Punishments for wife-beaters in history could
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be severe: according to an 1882 Maryland statute,
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the culprit could receive forty lashes at
-
the whipping post; in Delaware, the number
was thirty lashes.
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In New Mexico, you could
-
be fined from $255 to $1,000 -
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one to five years in prison. Religious groups - especially
-
the Protestant, Quakers, Methodists, and Baptists
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punished, shunned, and excommunicated wife-beaters.
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Husbands, brothers, and neighbours often took
vengeance against the batterer. Vigilante
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parties sometimes abducted wife-beaters and
whipped them.
-
That's the kind of protection that women have
had throughout history.
-
Not perfect, but hitting
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children remains legal in most of the world's
countries.
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Ladies, women, my beautiful sisters,
-
you can change the world - you are the most essential
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aspect of fixing the world, of healing the
world.
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And it fundamentally has nothing to
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do with men, or the patriarchy - it relies
on you,
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your children, your fists and your conscience.
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The hidden violence of the world is the violence
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of women - and the men they choose - against
children.
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Stop hitting children, and save the world.