Failing at Normal: An ADHD Success Story | Jessica McCabe | TEDxBratislava

(Introduction music plays)

Hello brains!

I say that to you because...
if you think about it.

It wasn't really you
that decided to come here today.

It was your brain.

And whether you decided
to walk or drive, take a taxi, ride a bike

That decision was decided
by your brain.

Behavior, all behavior,
is affected by the brain.

This is a story about my brain.

So, I was a smart kid. By 18 months I
was speaking in full sentences.

By third grade I was scoring
post high school on standardized tests.

I had as all my teacher's agreed,
so much potential.

I was also struggling.
I didn't have many... any friends.

Outside of books.
I was easily overwhelmed.

I spaced out in class.
I lost things, constantly.

And trying to get my brain to focus on
something I wasn't excited about...

was like trying to nail Jell-O
to the wall.

But I was smart.
So nobody was worried.

It wasn't until middle school
when I was responsible for

getting myself to classes on time,
and remembering to bring my own homework.

That being smart wasn't enough anymore,
and my grades started to suffer.

My mom took me to the doctor
and after a comprehensive evaluation.

I was diagnosed with
attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder.

ADHD.

If you're not familiar with ADHD
it has three primary characteristics.

Inattention, impulsivity,
and hyperactivity.

Some people with ADHD
have more of the inattentive presentation.

Those are the daydreamers,
the space cadets.

Some have more of
the hyperactive/impulsive presentation.

Those are the kids that usually
get diagnosed early.

But, the most common presentation
is a combination of both.

My doctor and my parents decided
that given my shiny new diagnosis.

Maybe stimulant medication would succeed,
where spankings and lectures had failed.

So I tried it.
And it worked.

The first time I took my medication
it was like putting on glasses.

And realizing I could see,
without squinting.

I could focus!

Without changing anything
my GPA went up a full point.

Honestly it was kind of miraculous.
By 14 I had friends, that liked me.

By 15 I had published my first poem.
I got a boyfriend.

By 17 I knew I wanted
to be a journalist.

My local college had a program that would
guarantee admission to USC.

They had a really
great journalism program.

So, I signed up at my local college
and I started taking classes.

I moved in with my boyfriend.

Things were going great!
...until they weren't.

I started having trouble making it
to class on time.

I aced a statistics course,
but I forgot to sign up in time.

So, I never got the credit.

I took classes so I could help
my boyfriend with his career.

But I completely lost sight of mine.

I never made it to USC...

By 21 I dropped out of college
and moved back home.

Over the next ten years I started
and quit, or was fired from 15 jobs.

I ruined my credit.

I got married!
And was divorced within a year.

At this point I was 32, and I
had no idea what I was doing with my life.

Besides reading self-help books
that didn't seem to be helping.

What happened to all that potential?
Was I not trying?

No, I worked harder than anyone I knew,
I didn't even have time for friends.

I was that busy.

I had potential, though...

So my failure was clearly my fault.

I just hadn't done what I needed to do
to reach it and honestly....

I was tired of trying, putting more effort
into life than everyone else.

And falling farther
and farther behind.

At this point I could
have given up on myself.

I could have decided that everyone who
thought I had potential, was wrong.

But, I didn't, because I knew that it was
my behavior that had gotten me here.

And behavior is affected by the brain.
And my brain has ADHD.

Looking at my behavior
I knew...

Even with medication,
even as an adult.

My ADHD was still interfering
with my life.

What I needed to know
was how, and why.

And more importantly,
what could I do about it.

I started to do some research.
And I found a lot of great information.

I found a lot of bad information too,
but that's another talk.

But there's good information out there.
Websites, podcasts,

talks, by researchers
and medical professionals.

Books that would of been way more helpful
than the self-help books I've been using.

That were clearly written for normal...
well, there is no normal.

Neurotypical brains.

A lot of what I found though
was either really technical.

Or seemed like it was written for parents,
and teachers trying to deal with ADHD kids

There wasn't a lot that seemed to be
intended for us, the people who have ADHD.

So, I started a YouTube channel.

I had no idea how to start
a YouTube channel.

But, I started a YouTube channel

I almost called it "How Not To ADHD"
because that was all I knew at the time.

But my boyfriend, Edward,
talked me out of it.

It turns out lots of people need help
understanding ADHD.

Including, maybe especially,
those who actually have it.

I was no exception.

I thought having ADHD
was kind of the same for everybody.

I thought it was mostly
about getting distracted.

I thought that maybe having ADHD was the
reason that I was failing at life.

And I thought I was what needed to change
in order to be successful.

I couldn't be successful,
and still be me.

Spoilers.
I was wrong.

So, lets go back for a second.
Back to what brought us here today

The brain.
Understanding the brain you're

working with, it turns out
is kind of important.

And, that's true whether that brain is
your employees, your students,

your kids, your significant others,
or your own.

ADHD affects between
5 and 8% of the global population.

Which means statistically speaking there's
between 37 and 60 of us just in this room.

You can't tell who we are just by looking
but its fun to watch you try.

(Laughter)

So at some point you're going
to meet someone with ADHD.

Work with them, give birth to them,
or fall in love with them.

Chances are you already have.

And at some point,
you're going to ask yourself.

What is going on in their brain?

So, after two years of learning about
ADHD and a lifetime of experience with it

After having the honor of connecting with
researchers, and doctors, and ADHD experts

and tens of thousands
of ADHD brains all over the world.

What can I tell you,
to help you understand ADHD?

By the way, many of them
helped with this talk.

First of all its real.

It's not bad parenting
or lack of discipline.

ADHD is a neurodevelopmental disorder.

It's currently the most
well researched mental condition.

And, there are actually measurable
differences in the brain.

These differences are larger in children,
but for most people they never go away.

In other words,
adults have ADHD too.

While rates of the ADHD diagnosis
are increasing.

It's not because of an increase
in sugar, or technology.

Or... lack of spanking.
It's not.

Anymore than people drowning in
swimming pools is because of Nicholas Cage

Correlation does not equal causation.

Those are real numbers.

(Audience laughter)

It's from both an increase
in understanding that ADHD exists.

That girls, adults, and gifted students
can have it too.

And ironically a lack of understanding
that being hyper, misbehaving,

or struggling in school
does not mean that you have ADHD.

ADHD is more serious than I realized.

The primary characteristics of inattention
impulsivity, and hyperactivity.

Don't sound all that serious,
and I didn't think that they were.

But in real life they translate into
people getting into more accidents.

Being more likely to get fired,
get divorced.

Significantly more likely
to struggle with addiction.

I learned that ADHD is on a spectrum.

Raise your hand
if you've ever lost your keys.

Or spaced out in the
middle of a lecture.

If you're not raising your hand I'm
going to assume you spaced out

in the middle of this one.

(Audience laughter)

The thing is while everyone experiences
ADHD symptoms sometimes.

An actual diagnosis is based on how many
of those symptoms significantly,

and chronically impair
multiple aspects of your life.

Just like you can get sad
and not have depression.

You can get distracted
and not have ADHD.

And just like you can have
mild depression, or severe depression.

ADHD can range
from mild to severe.

I also learned ADHD is a
terrible name for ADHD.

It creates a lot of confusion.

We don't have a deficit of attention.

What we have trouble with
is regulating our attention.

As ADHD coach Brett Thornhill puts it,
it's like your brain keeps switching

between 30 different channels,
and somebody else has the remote.

Sometimes we have a hard time
focusing at all.

And other times we get stuck on a
channel, and can't pull ourselves away.

In real life this might look like we just
don't want to do homework because we'de

rather play video games,
and sure sometimes that's the case.

But, the truth is, there are plenty of
times we want to be able to focus, we try.

And we just can't.
Current understanding is

that this difficulty has to do with the
way our brains produce,

and metabolize neurotransmitters,
like dopamine, and norepinephrine.

I learned ADHD is highly treatable.
Stimulant medication boosts

these neurotransmitters,
Which is why it helps us focus.

It's very effective for around 80%,
of people with ADHD.

And I learned that medication
isn't enough.

ADHD affects much more than our focus,
it impairs executive functions

like planning, prioritizing and the
ability to sustain effort towards a goal.

It affects our ability to regulate
our emotions, our behavior, our sleep.

It's not one program in our brain
that it works differently.

It's the whole operating system.
It can effect every aspect of our lives.

And there are a ton of strategies
out there, that can help.

Cognitive Behavior Therapy,
coaching, even meditation,

or regular exercise can
make a huge difference.

Understanding your brain.
I knew I had trouble focusing,

and I knew my medication
helped with that.

What I didn't know was that getting
overwhelmed all the time had to do

with poor working memory.
And that making lists helps.

Or that the reason that I ran late all
the time isn't because I didn't care.

ADHDer's have a skewed sense of time.

And that using a timer could teach me
how long thing's actually take.

Mostly, I expected to learn
what I actually learned.

That ADHD is real.
Addressing it is important.

And medication is not enough.

What I didn't expect to learn
that I wasn't alone.

I had an ADHD tribe.

What a difference it would make
to connect with it.

There are people with ADHD in every
country, every culture across the globe.

Yes, even in France.

(Delayed laughter)

And this tribe is awesome.

Comparing myself to people
with neurotypical brains,

I felt really bad about myself.
Why couldn't I keep my house clean?

Or, finish a project in time instead of
waiting until the very last second.

But seeing the positive
in fellow ADHD brains.

Helped me recognize,
and appreciate my own strenths.

One's that I couldn't see when I was
just staring at my weaknesses.

Which is what I
had been doing for decades.

But ADHD, ADHD brains
have a lot to offer the world.

We tend to be generous,
funny, creative.

ADHDer's are 300% more likely
to start their own business.

We not only think
outside the box.

We're often not even aware
there is a box.

(Audience laughter)

We may struggle when
our brains aren't engaged.

But ADHD brains are great
at tackling tasks that are urgent.

Working with ideas that are new.

Wrestling with problems
that are challenging.

And dedicating themselves to projects
that are of personal interest.

This YouTube career I'd stumbled
into was all of those things.

At 32 I was divorced, miserable and had
no idea what I was doing with my life.

At 33 I started my own business
and was connecting with ADHD experts.

By now, at 34 I have a team of volunteers
helping me with the channel.

And I'm engaged to this amazing man,
who helps me produce the channel.

Works right alongside with me
is doing the slides right now.

And as we discovered
also has ADHD.

(Audience laughter)

I'm working on reaching out to schools
so that kids don't have to wait

until they're 32 to learn
about their brains.

And I'm doing my very first Ted X talk
here with you today.

(Audience applause)

But wait there's more.

That did sound like the end of the speech.
I'm sorry it's not.

I'm happier and more successful
than I've ever been in my life.

So what happened?
How did I reach my potential?

Three things.
One I learned about my brain.

My ADHD brain both on my own
and by connecting with others who have it.

If you judge a fish by it's ability
to climb a tree.

It will live it's whole life
believing that it is stupid.

Unless it happens to chat
with another fish.

And realizes fish aren't great
at climbing trees.

And that's okay.
There's plenty of ocean.

Two, In learning about my brain I found
and stumbled into a job that engages it.

If you spend all your time trying to
get a fish to be able to climb a tree,

you'll never see how far it can swim.

It turns out, I can be me
and still be successful.

I just had to find
my ocean.

Three, I learned strategies for
the challenges I still face.

I have no fish analogy for this one.
I am sorry.

I guess I learned how to swim.

Once you know what
your brains challenges are.

You can find solutions to them.

Once you look past the stereotypes and
assumptions about people with ADHD.

And dig deeper.
You learn what ADHD actually is.

It's not people who wont stop fidgeting,
or getting distracted.

It's brains that are
chronically under aroused.

Trying to get the basic
stimulation that all brains need.

It's not about procrastinating
or not caring.

It's having executive function deficits
that make it hard to get started.

And it's not people being lazy,
or not trying enough.

It's kids and adults struggling to succeed
with a brain that doesn't

always want to cooperate.
In a society that wasn't built for them.

Society is our user's manual.

We learn how our brains and bodies work
by watching those around us.

When yours works differently,
it can feel like you're broken.

So what I'm trying to do,
is reach out to these people.

Wherever they are in the world,
and tell them you are not weird.

You are not stupid.
You do not need to try harder.

You are not a failed version of normal.

You are different, you are beautiful,
and you are not alone.

If you don't have ADHD yourself chances
are you know somebody who does.

Their your employee, your boss,
your friend, they're in this room.

I hope this talk helps you
understand them better.

If you do have ADHD.
Welcome to the tribe.

(Audience applause)