-
This last one is a sensitive one too.
-
This is from "Anonymous."
-
He didn't want to put his name.
-
He says, "When I was not saved..."
-
Now, folks, I'm dealing with this
-
because this is a real issue.
-
And I don't think only for this guy.
-
And because I want to draw
-
some broader principles that I think
-
will help all of us.
-
He says, "When I was not saved,
-
I sexually abused two people in my family.
-
One was my step-sister.
-
The other was my cousin.
-
I've now repented from
living a life of sin.
-
I've given my life to Jesus Christ.
-
But even now as a Christian,
-
what am I supposed to do?
-
My step-sister and my cousin
-
were very young when I did this to them.
-
Now, we talk together.
-
We even get together like all is well.
-
But they're growing up.
-
These things I've done
-
will likely come back to their memory.
-
What do I do?
-
As a child, I was also sexually abused
-
by two people in my family.
-
What do I do?"
-
I would say this.
-
I would say this to anonymous.
-
I would say this to all of you here.
-
And in fact, I would say this
-
and begin this counsel
-
especially with people that are
-
likely to watch on the Internet.
-
People that are likely to be
-
removed away from San Antonio
that will hear this.
-
I say this with regard to all
the questions that come in.
-
You know what the Bible tells us?
-
Hebrews 10:24, "Let us consider
-
how to stir up one another
to love and good works,
-
not neglecting to meet together
as is the habit of some,
-
but encouraging one another,
-
and all the more as you
see the day drawing near."
-
That one coupled with Hebrews 13:17,
-
"Obey your leaders and submit to them
-
for they are keeping watch over your souls
-
as those who will have
to give an account."
-
You know what I want to say to everybody
-
that's writing in to
these Ask Pastor Tim's?
-
My first counsel to you:
-
you've got to be in a church.
-
You've got to be in a good church
-
where you're constantly and regularly
-
meeting together with other saints,
-
where you're being
encouraged by one another.
-
You've got to be in a situation like that.
-
You need to be in a situation
-
where you're submitting yourself
-
to leaders, to good godly men
-
who are keeping watch over your souls;
-
men who will have to
give an account for you.
-
That is my first line of counsel
-
to any of these folks.
-
You know, trying to counsel people
-
by these questions that
come in across email -
-
sometimes these people live
-
a thousand or two thousand miles away.
-
It is very difficult to counsel people
-
whose face I don't see
-
and whose exact circumstances
I don't know.
-
The most important thing
-
is these people need -
-
and Mr. Anonymous here -
-
in this kind of situation,
-
he needs to get face-to-face
-
with some good godly men in a church
-
where he can sit down
-
and he can talk through these things.
-
Because obviously some of these things
-
are just so sensitive,
-
and so many details get left out
-
that I don't know anything about.
-
Giving the right counsel in these matters
-
can just be very, very difficult.
-
And so many of these things,
-
they need to be bathed in prayer
-
and discussed in detail,
-
really, before any type of final counsel
-
should be given.
-
So I don't really want to give exact,
-
specific details here,
-
but I do want to throw some things out.
-
And I want to do this in a broader sense.
-
Not just concerning if we've
-
sexually wronged somebody in the past.
-
Let me throw out some principles here.
-
One things is, folks,
-
whether it's Mr. Anonymous
-
and what he's done here,
-
we cannot undo the past.
-
And that's the first place I'd start with.
-
We don't want to let
the past drag us down.
-
We don't want the past
-
to be a hindrance to our
running the race now.
-
We don't want the past to basically be
-
a reason to fall into despair
-
and discouragement.
-
We can't undo the past.
-
And we've all got things in our past
-
we wish we didn't have in our past.
-
We've all done things
we wish we hadn't done.
-
The thing about the Christian
-
is that all these things
are under the blood.
-
And so you know what?
-
We can rejoice in the Lord
-
no matter what we've done in the past.
-
Our sins are under that blood.
-
There is no condemnation
if we're in Christ.
-
God's never going to
require these things of me.
-
The third thing I'd say is this:
-
That doesn't mean
-
that there won't be consequences
-
for what you've done in the past.
-
Now, that doesn't mean that there
-
always will be.
-
Let me just tell you this:
-
When I was lost, I was a big liar,
-
and I was a big thief among other things.
-
And I was a vandal as well.
-
So, Eric, I'll have some sympathy on you
-
for all the devastation you caused
-
in your graffiti life.
-
There was one Saturday.
-
It's amazing God didn't kill me.
-
I was with three other guys.
-
We had two golf carts.
-
We're out on a golf course
up in Kalamazoo, Michigan.
-
And a thunder storm moved in
-
and they closed the golf course
-
because the lightning was
striking straight down.
-
And we went into the bar
-
and we drank a lot.
-
And we were plastered.
-
And the lightning is
striking straight down
-
out there on the golf course,
-
and we, like idiots - lost idiots -
-
out there tempting God to kill us.
-
We snuck back out there
-
and we managed to do it
-
so that the guy running the golf course
-
didn't see us.
-
Because when they closed the course down,
-
we were all the way in the back.
-
We managed to run out
and jump on those carts
-
and get to the back of the golf course
-
without the course manager seeing us.
-
We're back there golfing.
-
We can barely stand.
-
Lightning is shooting straight down.
-
You talk about tempting God.
-
Golf clubs in hand - metal.
-
We're out there just drunk.
-
We smashed these golf carts
-
to where all the tires on
all the golf carts were flat.
-
We tore up greens.
-
Do you know how much a
green on a golf course cost?
-
You don't want to know.
-
Like over $10,000.
-
We're smashing through the water stands.
-
The lightning just "bang!"
Smashing around.
-
After God saved me,
I was convicted about that.
-
After that, it was all smashed up
-
and they re-opened the course
-
and the people are walking out.
-
We hightailed it - dove in the truck
-
and got out of there.
-
Well, here God comes and saves me.
-
I'm just thinking,
-
oh, I've got to go back
to that golf course.
-
And I did.
-
And I went out there,
-
and I told them, look,
-
you can file charges.
-
I'll pay for it or I'll work it off.
-
I left my name and number.
-
The course manager wasn't in right then.
-
I left it with the bartender there
-
in the clubhouse.
-
They never called.
-
But then another dear
brother that we know,
-
he was pretty plastered one night.
-
He owned a club up on
the north side of this city.
-
Two guys walked in one night
-
and started creating problems.
-
He pulled out a gun and
shot one of the guys.
-
He didn't kill him.
-
Time goes by, God saves him.
-
More time goes by - 3 1/2 years go by.
-
The man's saved.
-
Somebody identifies him
-
and he has to go to
prison for 3 1/2 years.
-
Let me tell you, just because you're saved
-
doesn't mean the consequences
-
might not have to be paid.
-
And sometimes those
consequences can be bad.
-
There is no condemnation -
-
God may, in His mercy, even take away
-
the consequences in this lifetime.
-
But He might not.
-
The first thing I would say,
-
this guy asked the question
-
about those who have sinned against us.
-
Obviously, we can forgive them.
-
Jesus Christ told a parable
in Matthew 18, did He not?
-
About the man who was forgiven.
-
A man owed a tremendous amount,
-
and he was forgiven.
-
And then the man that was forgiven,
-
the servant that was forgiven,
-
came across another servant
that owed him money
-
and required that he pay it.
-
When it was found out,
-
the master of those
servants wasn't real pleased.
-
And you know, basically, that whole thing
-
is a picture of us.
-
How much has the Lord forgiven us of?
-
Can't we forgive others?
-
Mr. Anonymous says
-
that he was sexually abused
-
by people in his family.
-
What should he do?
He should forgive them.
-
I mean, hands down, we should forgive.
-
All the crimes we've
committed against God,
-
(incomplete thought).
-
Look, you know what it says.
-
If you don't forgive others,
you will not be forgiven.
-
Bottom line. Lay it down.
-
There is no sin that's
been committed against us
-
that we have a right to harbor.
-
God says put them all away.
-
Look, you've been forgiven so much.
-
Whatever somebody has done to you
-
is small in comparison
-
to all that full weight of sin
you've been forgiven of.
-
So, as far as that goes,
-
we just need to let those things go
-
wherever we've been wronged.
-
Now, when it comes to those we've wronged,
-
let me just tell you.
-
I want to say this to everybody.
-
We already talked about repentance.
-
Look, one of the things
-
that you folks need to
realize about repentance,
-
repentance means turning from sin.
-
And you know what?
-
Some of those sins you turn from,
-
you may have to make restitution for.
-
You may have to fix.
-
Let me just give you a little
bit of Scripture here.
-
Zacchaeus - guess what?
-
Tax collector. Defrauded a lot of people.
-
Got saved.
-
What's the first thing he says?
-
"He stood up and said,
-
'Behold, Lord, the half of my goods
-
I give to the poor, and if I've defrauded
-
anyone of anything
I restore it fourfold.'"
-
Restitution.
-
He says if I extorted from anybody,
-
I'm going to give them four times as much.
-
That's an indication of salvation.
-
That's an indication of true repentance.
-
You want to prove your repentance?
-
If you've wronged people;
if you've stolen things,
-
go back and pay for it.
-
Go back and admit it and pay for it.
-
If it's something that you've stolen
-
that you can return the object
-
and it's still in the same condition,
-
return it.
-
Ezekiel 33:15 says,
-
"If the wicked restores the pledge,
-
gives back what he's taken by robbery,
-
walks in the statutes of life,
-
not doing injustice,
-
he shall surely live.
-
He shall not die."
-
There's a picture of true repentance.
-
Let me tell you this.
-
What should he do?
-
What should you do?
-
What about it?
-
What does repentance look like?
-
You know what it looks like?
-
It looks like going back
-
to the crimes that I've committed
-
and the things that I've
done in my past life
-
and looking at those things,
-
and making restitution
where restitution is possible.
-
Now restitution isn't always possible.
-
There are some situations
-
that it may not be possible.
-
You may never be able to find the person
-
you stole the thing from.
-
You may not know where
they are, where they live.
-
The person you lied to,
-
you can't go back and
tell the truth to them
-
about some major lie you told
-
that sticks out in your mind,
-
because maybe they've died already.
-
There's a number of reasons
-
why restitution can't be made,
-
but where it can be made,
it should be made.
-
Now what should this guy do?
-
I mean, what in the world do you do
-
when it's some kind of sexual sin?
-
Especially with little children?
-
Well, I would say this,
-
this is a thing that's not real clear cut.
-
I don't know that I have exactly
the answer for this guy,
-
but I would say this.
-
For one, you definitely want
to be much in prayer.
-
I guarantee you, when God saved me,
-
oh brother, I had so many things I stole
-
and so many lies I told.
-
I went though all my possessions
-
and piled them all together,
-
and anything that would come to my mind
-
that I stole or that I vandalized,
-
I made a list.
-
And I basically made a determination,
-
I was going to take care of one a day.
-
That I thought was reasonable,
-
otherwise I felt I would
be overwhelmed by it.
-
And I had to go back and tell people
-
some ridiculous embarrassing things.
-
But you know, a lot of
prayer went into that.
-
Oh, I remember one
landlord I went back to.
-
It was the very first one on the list.
-
I was just a brand new Christian,
-
and I was just scared to death.
-
And I sat down the road in my car.
-
It was a landlord that
I moved my stuff out
-
when he wasn't home and didn't pay
-
the last month or two or three rent.
-
I forget what it was.
-
And I had the money now,
-
and I was down the street.
-
And I was just scared to death.
-
And I was praying and praying and praying.
-
And I went up there to the door,
-
and you know, I almost thought
-
that the guy would be
dead because he was old.
-
But he looked just the same.
-
He came to the door
-
and I said, "Sir, you know,
-
I used to live in your
house next door here,
-
and I bailed on the rent."
-
And I forget how much I
actually had to give to him.
-
I think I had three or
four hundred dollars,
-
probably like a stack
of twenties in my hand.
-
And he said, "Oh, don't worry about it."
-
Then he looked down and he saw
-
that wad of cash in my hand.
-
He grabbed it.
-
But you've got to pray.
-
And you've got to acknowledge the Lord.
-
You need help to do these things.
-
And you know what the Lord says?
-
If you acknowledge Him,
He'll direct your path.
-
You really need the Lord
-
to direct your path in these things.
-
And I'll tell you what,
-
love has to dictate.
-
There are certain things,
-
love may dictate not to go back
-
and reopen a wound.
-
You've got to weigh these things out.
-
I'll tell you what,
-
and I would say this to Mr. Anonymous,
-
you never want to make
any of your decisions
-
about restitution or
correcting past sins
-
based on self-preservation.
-
You don't make decisions based on
-
what's easy on you.
-
You make decisions based on what's right
-
and what love dictates.
-
And you need to be honest.
-
Because when you get in those things
-
and you start confessing things
-
and you get put on the spot,
-
you need to be honest.
-
It's time to confess just
exactly the way it is.
-
And I would say to Mr. Anonymous,
-
because these are little children
-
and these little children might likely
-
grow up with this,
-
my sense in this
-
is that he has a responsibility
to go to the father.
-
Because those little kids might grow up
-
messed up about this,
-
and I'll tell you,
-
if they were my children,
I'd want to know.
-
And I'll tell you why I'd want to know,
-
because I would not want them
-
to have to bear that alone.
-
And because I might be able to help them
-
if it's something that
they're struggling with,
-
and a lot of kids, they grow up
with these kinds of things
-
and they never tell anybody.
-
And oh, they remember.
-
And when they get older, it comes out,
-
and it leads to all sorts of problems.
-
If I was the father, I would want to know.
-
And you know what Scripture says,
-
and I would say Mr. Anonymous,
-
you need to think about this this way,
-
the Scripture says that we need to
-
do unto others what we
would have them do unto us.
-
And if these were your two daughters
-
and somebody did this,
would you want to know?
-
And you need to be honest with yourself
-
and you need to act based on that.
-
And I can tell you, if
they were my daughters,
-
I would want to know.
-
(incomplete thought)
-
See, love dictates,
-
and I think there's ways
-
that those two little girls can be helped
-
if the parents know.
-
And that would be my take on it.
-
That would be my counsel.
-
But I lay this out to all of you.
-
Look, if you're a professing Christian,
-
one of the ways you make
your repentance known,
-
one of the ways that repentance is real,
-
is if there needs to be restitution made,
-
then by God's grace,
-
seek to return the things stolen.
-
Seek to settle matters.
-
Seek to get things right.
-
You've got some little thing in there
-
that's been burning on your conscience
-
for a long time,
-
go back and take care of it.
-
And these things are not easy.
-
They're not.
-
I stole stuff from some family members
-
and I can remember going back
-
to my grandparents.
-
Oh, it was horrible.
-
But the Lord helped.
-
Well, that's my counsel there.
-
God will help you.
-
With God all things are possible.
-
You might think, oh, I can't do that.
-
Well, you can.
-
You can't do it just
like I couldn't do it.
-
I got to the place where I was
-
making restitution more than once,
-
because I would forget.
-
I actually worked at a place.
-
I was convicted because
I worked at a place
-
and I called in sick one day
-
because my roommate
and I stayed home
-
and we drank whiskey.
-
And I called in sick.
-
And I felt like, later
after the Lord saved me,
-
I felt like I really stole a day's wage.
-
And so, I sent a check
-
and I paid for it.
-
I was already down here
when I remembered that.
-
So I sent a check up there.
-
And then I forgot that I paid it.
-
And it came to my mind again.
-
And so I sent a check up there again.
-
And the guy from the accounting department
-
sent me back the check
-
with a note in there,
-
"stop sending us checks!"
-
And see, every time I'd send it up there,
-
of course I'd give the Gospel in there
-
and how radically the Lord converted me
-
and all this stuff.
-
I think I irritated some people.
-
It's embarrassing.
-
I just told my son the other day,
-
I said, "Joshua, if I would have known
-
that I was going to have
to go make restitution,
-
and confess various lies
-
when I committed those sins,
-
I wouldn't have done them.
-
It's embarrassing."
-
Our sin is shameful.
-
It really is.
-
Mr. Anonymous, your sin is shameful.
-
But if it's under the blood,
-
then we need to walk
-
and we need to do what's right.
-
Well, that's it for tonight.
-
Do you guys have any questions
-
or any anything?
-
Okay.
-
Well, Lord willing, we have
one more week of this.
-
I don't know what it is.
-
I only take them in the order they
come and I don't even look ahead.
-
So, I don't even know really
what we're going to get.
-
So, next week, same time.
-
Another set of these.