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When I came out to my mother as
transgender, she cried. She said she was
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worried for my life.
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She's right to be but I don't think
that's why tears ran down her face
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because unlike race, class or religion my
'decision' is not a reality she shares
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with me. It's something she could hope I
never acted on, but now her fleeting
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chance to silence me is gone. I am much
too brave for her comfort. (pause) She did what
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was expected, she loved and accepted me
for who I was
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so why am i not satisfied? (pause) Why am i not
satisfied? (pause) I want an apology
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how can a son be holding his mother in
his arms comforting her for the pain he
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has suffered and will suffer at her
hands?
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I want her to say sorry for forcing me
into a dress, I want her say sorry for
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leaving me a mess, I want to make her
feel small. I want her to say sorry
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for it all. But instead she cries and I
apologize. I apologize for the pain
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I'm causing her. For the girl I've taken
from her. For the lies she will tell her
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friends to protect her pride. For the
times I will be so gay she will have to
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hide from embarrassment. When I came out
I deserved an apology. When I came out my
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mother cried. And I apologized.