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>> Stop crying
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>> Stop with the tears
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>> Don't cry
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>> Pick yourself up
-
>> Stop with the emotions
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>> Don't be a pussy
-
>> Don't let nobody disrespect you
-
>> Be cool
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>> And be kind of a dick
-
>> Always keep your mouth shut
-
>> Nobody likes a tattle-tale
-
>> Bros come before hoes
-
>> Don't let your woman run your life.
-
>> You're a bitch.
-
>> What a fag.
-
>> Get laid.
-
>> Do something.
-
>> Be a man.
-
>> Be a man!
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>> Grow some balls!
-
>> The 3 most destructive words
-
that every man receives
when he is a boy,
-
is when he's told to be a man.
-
>> We've constructed an
idea of masculinity
-
in the United States
-
that doesn't give young boys
-
a way to feel secure in their masculinity.
-
So, we make 'em go prove it all the time.
-
>> Within their peer group culture
-
each of them is posturing
-
based on how the other
boys are posturing,
-
and what they end up missing
-
is what they each really want,
-
which is just that closeness.
-
>> In good times guys are,
-
like, really close to each other,
-
but when things get a little bit worse
-
you're on your own.
-
>> From middle school
-
I had four really close friends.
-
Once I went kind of went into high school,
-
I struggled finding people I can talk to
-
because I feel like I'm not supposed to get help.
-
>> Our kids get up every morning.
-
They have to prepare their mask
-
for how they're going to walk to school.
-
A lot of our students don't know how
-
to take the mask off.
-
What is it you don't let people see?
-
Almost 90% of you have pain and anger
-
on the back of that paper.
-
>> If you never cry
-
then you have all these feelings
-
stuffed up inside of you,
-
and then you can't get them out.
-
>> They really buy into a culture
-
that doesn't value what we feminized.
-
If we're in a culture that doesn't value caring,
-
doesn't value relationships,
-
doesn't value empathy,
-
you are going to have boys and girls,
-
men and women go crazy.
-
>> I had anger issues in high school.
-
I felt like an outcast.
-
I've been suspended at least once
-
every year I was here.
-
We would just look for trouble
-
and just like, try to fight.
-
>> Boys are more likely to act out,
-
they're more likely to become aggressive.
-
Most people miss that as depression,
-
or see it as a conduct disorder,
-
or just a bad kid.
-
>> I felt like just giving up on life,
you know,
-
see I had suicide thoughts
-
in my head in sixth grade.
-
>> I felt alone for-for a long time,
-
and I actually thought about killing myself.
-
>> Whether it's homicidal violence,
-
or suicidal violence,
-
people resort to such desperate behavior,
-
only when they are feeling
-
shamed and humiliated,
-
or feel they would be
-
if they didn't prove that they were real men.
-
>> If you're told from day one
-
'don't let nobody disrespect you',
-
and 'this is the way you handle it as a man',
-
respect is linked to violence.
-
>> If I can man up,
-
why step down from that,
-
you feel me?
-
>> It's like instinct.
-
>> So man up!
-
>> Man up.
-
>> Man up.
-
>> Man up.
-
>> Grow some fucking balls!
-
>> Act like a man.
-
>> Be a man.
-
>> Be a man!
-
>> For my kids,
-
I was gonna end this
-
hyper masculine narrative here.