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The Economics of Seinfeld: Kramer Cafe Latte's (Jackie Chiles)

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    (Jerry) Another cafe latte?
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    (Cosmo) Hey, you better believe it
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    (Jerry) Since when are you so trendy?
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    (Cosmo) Hey, baby
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    I set the trends.
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    Who do you think started this whole cafe
    latte?
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    (Jerry) I don't recall you drinking cafe lattes?
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    (Cosmo) I've been drinking cafe latte
    since the fifth grade
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    and I haven't looked back.
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    (Jerry) Hey, you better finish your
    little cafe latte there.
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    They'll never let you in with it.
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    (Cosmo) Why not?
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    (Jerry) 'Cause they don't allow outside drinks
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    into the movie.
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    (Cosmo) Well, that's stupid.
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    (Jerry) That's the rule.
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    (Cosmo) Yeah, well, we'll just see if we can't
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    get around that.
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    Excuse me.
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    Pardon me.
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    Excuse us.
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    (Cosmo:) Coffee.
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    (Cosmo in pain)
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    (Employee) Hey. Hey. What's going on?
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    What just happened here?
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    (Cosmo) Nothing. Nothing.
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    (Employee) What do you got?
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    What are those, cafe latte in your shirt?
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    (Cosmo) I don't have anything. What?
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    Ask him.
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    (Jerry motions drinking)
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    (Employee) Alright, come on coffee boy.
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    Bring it out. Bring it out.
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    Come on. Here we go.
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    Hey!
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    (Jerry) Sorry, about that movie thing
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    I was joking around.
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    (Cosmo) Sorry? Are you kidding?
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    You did me the biggest favor of my life.
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    I spoke to a lawyer.
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    We're suing for millions.
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    (Jerry) Suing?
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    What for?
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    (Cosmo) The coffee was too hot.
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    (Jerry) It's suppose to be hot.
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    (Cosmo) Not that hot.
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    (Cosmo) So, you know my friend and I
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    we were going to the movies and
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    we stopped off and bought this cafe latte.
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    (Mr. Chiles) Oh, what is that like Italian coffee?
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    (Cosmo) Yeah, that's right.
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    (Mr. Chiles) Half milk, half coffee?
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    (Cosmo) Yeah.
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    (Mr. Chiles) You take a sip?
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    (Cosmo) Yes, I did.
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    (Mr. Chiles) Now, when you took the sip
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    did you notice it was hot?
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    Were you able to sip it
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    in your normal fashion?
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    (Cosmo) No, I wasn't able to sip it in my normal
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    fashion.
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    (Mr. Chiles) Alright, alright.
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    You take big sips?
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    (Cosmo) Well, I think I've taken normal sips.
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    (Mr. Chisle) Okay, you take normal sips
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    nothing wrong with that.
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    Then what happened?
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    (Cosmo) Well, you know, uh...
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    They don't allow outside drinks in the
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    movie theater.
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    So, I had to put in my shirt to
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    sneak it in.
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    (Mr. Chisle) Yeah, see they like to sell their
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    own coffee.
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    (Cosmo) Now, is that going to be a problem?
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    (Mr. Chiles) Yeah, its going to be a problem.
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    It's going to be a problem for them.
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    It's a clear violation of your rights
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    as a consumer.
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    It's an infringement on your
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    constitutional rights.
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    It's outrages. Egregious. Preposterous.
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    (Cosmo) It's definitely preposterous.
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    (Mr. Chiles) So, then what happened?
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    (Cosmo) Well, uh...
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    I was trying to get to my seat
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    and I had to step over someone
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    and I kind of got pushed
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    and it spilled on me.
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    (Mr. Chiles) Was there a top on it?
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    (Cosmo) Yeah.
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    (Mr. Chiles) Now, did you put the top on
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    or did they put the top on for you?
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    (Cosmo) No, they put the top on.
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    (Mr. Chiles) And they made the top
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    you didn't make the top, did you?
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    Susie?
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    I want you to go to Java world.
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    Get me a cafe latte with a top.
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    We gonna run some test on that top.
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    Have you been to the doctor?
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    (Cosmo) Uh, no. No. I haven't.
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    (Mr. Chiles) Susie, call doctor Bison.
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    Set up an appointment for Mr. Kramer, here
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    tell him its for me.
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    (Cosmo) So, uh, what do you think Mr. Chiles?
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    (Mr. Chiles) Jackie.
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    (Cosmo) Jackie, I mean we got a chance?
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    (Mr. Chiles) Do we have a chance?
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    You get me one coffee drinker on that jury
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    You going to walk outta there a rich man.
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    You put the bomb on?
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    (Mr. Chiles) Who told you to put the bomb on?
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    I didn't tell you to put the bomb on.
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    Why'd you put the bomb on?
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    You haven't even been to see the doctor
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    If you going to put the bomb on
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    then doctor put the bomb on.
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    (Cosmo) I guess I screwed up, huh Jackie?
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    (Mr. Chiles) You damn right you screwed up.
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    Where'd the hell you get that
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    damn bomb anyway?
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    (Cosmo) The maestro.
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    (Mr. Chiles) The who?
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    Who are you talking about maestro?
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    (Cosmo) My friend, he's a conductor.
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    (Mr. Chiles) Oh oh oh so a maestro
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    tells you to put a bomb and you do it?
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    (Cosmo) Well, my stomach was burning.
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    I'll tell you what this is
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    this is public humiliation.
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    (Cosmo) Well, I didn't know the bomb was
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    going to work.
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    (Mr. Chiles) Do you know what a bomb is?
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    You ever seen a bomb?
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    Didn't you read the instructions?
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    (Cosmo) Well, I was ...
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    (Mr. Chiles) No one can tell what's a bomb
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    going to do
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    their unpredictable.
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    (Cosmo) Well, I'm sorry Jackie.
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    Pull over here driver
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    this is it.
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    (CEO) Gentlemen!
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    Gentlemen, come in.
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    Now, we don't want to take up
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    much of your time.
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    Let's make this short
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    and sweet.
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    We're prepared to offer you
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    all the free coffee you want
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    at any of our stores
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    through out North America and
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    Europe. Plus
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    (Cosmo) I'll take it.
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    (Mr. Chiles) I'll take it? I'll take it.
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    Who told you to take it?
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    Did I tell you to take it?
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    (Cosmo) No.
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    (Mr. Chiles) I know the maestro didn't tell you
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    to take it. He wasn't there.
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    (Cosmo) I thought we were lucky
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    to get anything.
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    Free coffee?
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    (Cosmo) Yeah,
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    (Mr. Chiles) I don't want free coffee.
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    It's not hard to get coffee.
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    I can get my own damn coffee.
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    I wanted to hear what came after
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    that plus.
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    Well, I didn't hear any plus.
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    (Mr. Chiles) Twenty years practice in law
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    I never experienced anything like this.
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    (Cosmo) Look, Java World.
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    Hey listen, I'm going to get out here
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    I'm going to get myself
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    a free cafe latte.
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    You can't put a limit on my cafe latte
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    it says so right here
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    and I don't want to get dirty looks
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    when I come in here
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    if I want a cafe latte, you get me
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    a cafe latte and if I have any problems
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    I'm going to get my lawyer
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    Jackie Chiles down here
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    you're going to be in really
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    big trouble.
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    (Jerry) Hey, hey, hey slow down Eddie
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    what's the matter?
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    (Cosmo) They're making faces at me
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    cause I've had a couple of cafe latte
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    But I'm entitled to them
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    I can have as many cafe latte
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    as I want. That was the settlement.
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    (Jerry) That's it?
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    (Cosmo) That's it. What? You want one George?
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    I can get one for you.
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    No problem. Jerry, you want one?
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    Their delicious. My pleasure.
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    (Jerry) You got to stop it.
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    You're all hopped up on the caffine
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    (Cosmo) Well, I feel like I'm talking
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    a little fast, but it's very hard to tell.
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    (Jerry) You're racing.
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    Well, well I got things to do.
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    I'll see you later. Bye.
Title:
The Economics of Seinfeld: Kramer Cafe Latte's (Jackie Chiles)
Description:

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Video Language:
English
Duration:
05:27

English subtitles

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