105. Ghetto Thanksgiving Dinner

Watermelondrea: I just wanted to start of with how happy I am to be spending Thanksgiving with my familia

I truly am grateful for y'all

I guess you can kind of sort ah say I love you

Mother: yeah that's cool and all but can you pass the bread bitch

Watermelondrea: we ain't even blessed the food yet

Mother: well can your trickin ass bless this shit so we can eat

Watermelondrea: oh I'm the trick

I don't recall throwin it back and getting pregnant at the age of ten

Mother: I was raped!

Watermelondrea: you was a hoe

Grandpa: hey,hey, hey don't talk to your mother that way

Watermelondrea: grandpa shut your old ass up

Grandpa: alright ok

Grandma Brown: I see that you haven't learned how to respect your elders

Watermelondrea: and I see that you ain't learned how to die

Mother: that's enough Drea bless this food with your impolite ass

Watermelondrea: bitch the only thing impolite is your pussy game

dear heavenly father we come to you right now to bless this food for the nourishment to our bodies

I would also like to send up a prayer for these bitches out here getting molly

and let Sharkeshia Tomas spend the rest of her life behind bars since she's decided instead of being like you she'd rather be like Miley Cyrus and come in here like a wrecking ball on these hoes faces

ohhh Lord she hit that bitch so hard by the time she come down she'll need a plane ticket and a passport to come back

Sharkeshia knocked those girls glasses into mirrors lord and it's just not fair

how that child going to see her Thanksgiving dinner

hell how's she going to eat it considering Sharkeshia knocked her taste buds into next week

I don't understand it lord but if it's your will then I will let it be your will

in the name of Jesus we pray amen

the fuck y'all looking at

Grandma Brown: who is Sharkeshia

Watermelondrea: grandma don't worry bout it

Grandma Brown: is she a fish

Mother: probably one of them little Spongebob charters

Grandpa: sound like some shit off of Finding Nemo

Watermelondrea: but can we all shut the fuck up and eat

Grandma Brown: who cooked this shit

Watermelondrea: I did why

Grandma Brown: why is there Ramen noodles in this fucking pot

Watermelondrea: grandma don't start

Grandma Brown: and why does these mashed potatoes smell like bootie and grape juice

Wtaremelondrea: grandma I don't recall you bringing shit

Grandma Brown: well I would have had I known my guests where coming to dinner when you had the paramedics

Grandpa: shit so bad that we should have prayed after dinner

Mother: only floss in your kitchen because your roaches are anuses

Watermelondrea: he he he y'all so fucking funny

I slaved in that motherfucking kitchen

grandma you can't say tell me that that meatloaf and that apple pie sitting in front of you don't look scrumptious

Grandma Brown: which is which

Watermelondrea: fuck you you old ass bitch

Grandma Brown: I'd rather be old than a trifling ass tramp loving

flat chested elephant necked pussy can't keep a man, can't keep a recipe, can't keep a dictionary for shit hussy!

Watermelondrea: flat chested!

get the fuck out my house

Mother: mommy why daddy ain't moving

Leroy, le-leroy

he's dead

halleluiah anybody got the number for Geico life insurance