I Tried Walmart's Terrifying Metaverse Experience - Danny Gonzalez

Ladies and gentlemen,

Walmart has entered the metaverse.

(whooping, cheering, clapping noises)

Finally.

That's right, Greg.

Through one of the most popular
children's games in the world,

Walmart is now an actual destination
in the metaverse

where you can go to have fun, play, learn,

and of course,

buy things from Walmart.

And that is what I will be doing today.

I personally cannot wait to get into
Walmart's metaverse,

look around, explore,
it looks fun as hell.

One of the biggest corporations
in the entire world

advertising to young children in
a video game?

Uh, let's just say

Daddy likey.

But before we do that,

before I show you the actual
Walmart metaverse experience.

I was surprised to find out

that this actually isn't Walmart's first
metaverse project.

A few months ago,

apparently Walmart was sort of laughed
off the internet

because this video surfaced demoing
their "vision of the future of shopping"

in the metaverse.

And not only did this failed experiment
not look like it made shopping any better,

it, like, actively made it worse.

You know how instead of like, a store
with colorful aisles full of products

and people from your community
shopping around,

you'd much rather shop in a dystopian
void of a Walmart

that's been abandoned for
a thousand years?

You d--

Oh, you do?

Okay, that was meant to be sarcastic
but you actually do?

Okay, well, then maybe you'll like this.

(futuristic synth noise)

(industrial door-opening sound)

[Woman] Hi! Thanks for visiting Walmart.

I will be your shopping assistant module
today,

but you can call me SAM for short.

[Danny] Look man, I already feel like

kind of dystopian going to a regular
Walmart in the real world,

but this actually feels like I'm like a
test subject in some kind of

psychological experiment.

What is this void? Where am I right now?

[SAM] Let's get started.

I have your shopping list loaded up

and I'm tracking your oil change so
I can let you know as soon as it's done.

[Danny] Now I don't know about you,

but when I go to the store, if an employee
asks me if I need help finding anything,

I say no every time, even I DO need help

because I'm a nervous person.

So this?
This scenario is like a nightmare to me.

Just having an employee floating
2 feet in front of me at all times

just locking eyes with me, recommending
products,

is actually a nightmare.

It's like my worst-case scenario when I
go to a store, but if it just never ended.

It also doesn't help that she's like,
literally telling you what to do,

she's not even making suggestions.

[SAM] You see the tomato
sauce on your left?

Go ahead and grab that and then
place it in your cart.

[Danny] You see the tomato sauce?

Grab it.

Put it in your cart.

You said you wanted tomato sauce, right?

It's right there.

Put it in the cart now.

There's no time for browsing and
taking your time in the Walmart Metaverse.

Get your shit

and LEAVE.

How is this any better than
shopping normally?

They had every opportunity to make
shopping, like, a breeze,

I feel like the most
efficient form of shopping

is ki-- is just ordering it online.

They didn't need to take the actual
physical experience of going to Walmart

and put it in VR.

If I'm not going to the store anymore,

it's like, the actual act of putting
a tomato sauce in my cart

is not the part I'm gonna miss.

It's probably gonna be, like, human
contact, or just, like,

feeling like I live-- I exist in a
real social world.

[SAM] Great!

Looks like you need a good wine pairing.

Take a look to your right.

(metallic clink sound)

Your age has already been pre-verified
through your profile,

so no need to wait for an ID check!

(bottle crashing)

[Danny] I love how in this supposedly

futuristic utopian version of
Walmart in the future,

we're already being upsold to buy shit
that we didn't want.

It's like, "Okay, you wanted pasta sauce,

go ahead and buy a wine with that.
You can't have pasta without wine, right?

And also here's $5 off a
VUDU movie rental,

you're gonna wanna buy a movie as well.

And then, oh, you're watching a movie?

Head on over to our gun department.

You're gonna want a gun with that movie."

Also I haven't even bought pasta,
or meat yet.

Why is red wine the thing I need to pair
with the pasta sauce?

I need the rest of my meal.

Or am I just sipping on glass of wine and
one glass of pasta sauce

while I watch my VUDU rental movie?

[SAM] I'm getting a notification
from your connected smart fridge.

It looks like you already have a full
gallon of milk at home.

Should we put this one back?

[Danny] Sorry?

My FRIDGE told you that?

The sheer passive aggressiveness in
this Walmart employee's voice.

"Hey, so, um,

I noticed you have a gallon of milk
in your cart, but, uh,

I was just talking to your smart fridge

and he told me you already
have milk at home.

Should we put the milk back?

Should wittle baby put the milk back?

Did wittle baby forget that
we have milk at home?

(action music)
Did you forget in this dystopian world

there's a milk shortage?

Are you trying to hoard milk?

Also stop talking to my fridge behind
my back, dude. What the hell?

Why are smart fridges so integral to
every corporation's version of the future?

I do not want my fridge snitching on me
to Walmart, okay?

[Danny] Damn, you can really feel the
anger through the screen in that toss.

"Fine, I'll fucking put the
milk back, dude.

Stop talking to my fridge!"

Just every part of this is so eerie.

What is with the hum
throughout this video?

They could've had fun music playing,
you know,

you go to like, Target or Walmart
and they're playing, like, Ed Sheeran.

It's like they're making it eerie and
dystopian on purpose.

Every time you pick up an item
from the shelf

all of the shelves descend into the
underworld and new shelves come up.

That's really comforting, I gotta say.

There's something so comforting
about them being like,

"NO YOU DON'T MOVE, ALRIGHT?

THE SHELVES MOVE.

You stay right where you are.

The milk will come to you.

(distorted) The gun aisle
will come to you.

[SAM] Good news! Your oil change is done.

Your vehicle will be ready at the
Tire and Lube Express.

[Danny] Okay, now wait, so
this is confusing.

Am I...

at a Walmart with a VR
headset on?

This whole time I thought this was
something you do from home.

You go around, pick out all your items,

and then Walmart will come and
drop your stuff off.

But she just said that my car's getting
an oil change right now--

[SAM] Good news! Your oil change is done.

[Danny] At the Lube Express or whatever?

[SAM] At the Tire and Lube Express.

[Danny] The Tire and Lube Express.

That's right, that's what I said.

So...

I drove to Walmart,

dropped my car off at the Tire
and Lube Express,

And then went into Walmart

and then just put on a VR headset?

At that point, I-- why can't I just shop?

Why do I need to be wearing a VR headset?

I'm so confused.

(ominous humming and
machine hissing noises)

[Danny] I feel like these hands
say so much

about the emotion of the person
watching this happen.

Would you say that this person is, like,

happy or terrified about
what's going on right now?

(machinery hissing noises,
dark scary piano music)

[SAM] I'll have the TV
brought out to your car.

(confirmation ding)

(drone hums to life)

[Danny] Okay, so my shopping cart
is going to my car to load my groceries,

this drone is just gonna deliver the TV
straight to my house,

and then I notice that I'm not leaving
the Walmart?

I notice that my cart and the TV
get to leave

and I don't?

Any reason for that?

(dark scary piano music)
"Okay, your groceries will be delievered

to your smart fridge as a sacrifice,

and you will remain here forever.

Thank you for shopping at Walmart."

Okay. I think you guys have
waited long enough.

You wanna see the REAL DEAL.

That experiment obviously did not work,

people were like,
"What the hell is wrong with you?

Of course we don't want this."

So now it's time to look at Walmart's

actual, real-life, currently live venture
into the metaverse.

Walmart enters the metaverse with Roblox
experiences aimed at young shoppers.

Young shoppers, young shoppers,

I feel like there's another word for that,

another word that they're not using
for some r--

Oh, CHILDREN!

Yeah, that's right, we usually call
young shoppers "children."

But I guess at the end of the day

children are basically just young
shoppers, aren't they?

Congratulations ma'am,

you've given birth to a beautiful
young male shopper.

Oh, thank you so much!

I can't wait for him to grow up and shop
just like his father.

Isn't that right, sweetie?

(people talking, dark scary piano music)

Walmart is entering the metaverse with two
experiences:

Walmart Land and Walmart's Universe of
Play in gaming platform Roblox.

Walmart's marketing chief, William White,

said the company will use Roblox
as a testing ground

as it considers other moves in
the metaverse and beyond.

Definitely makes it sound like they're
using this opportunity

to sort of experiment on children.

Which I guess makes sense as to why
they're not using the word "children."

Cause there's lots of laws against
advertising to children.