302 Attachment Styles

Hi! My name is Samantha Schaffer, and today

I'm going to be talking to you all about

attachment.

So a brief preview for today, we're going

to talk about attachment theory. We're

going to talk about forming attachment,

and how that happens, and then we're

going to talk about childhood attachment

styles, and then the stability of

attachment styles over our life.

So attachment theory originally comes

from John Bolby and Barbara Ainsworth.

They theorize that the way that we

bond with our caregivers actually

impacts us throughout our life, and

those in initial interactions with our

caregivers actually provide us kind of a

blueprint for how we interact in

other relationships. It's how we

understand love.

We also

learn again from our caregivers. So

children learn from their parents or the

people who raise them,

and this is created through those

initial bonds. But again, it continues

throughout life not only in that

relationship, but it also translates to

future relationships as well

and communication plays a key role in

this,

in developing attachment. Because your

parents communicate to you,

verbally and non-verbally that they can

you can trust them that they love you,

and that they're there for you. This

also can be communicatively

harmful if the parent is not there,

and not communicating those things to

the child.

So communication is a really important

part of attachment and developing

healthy attachments.

So now that we understand what

attachment theory is, let's go into how

we form attachments,

and the goal so the goal of forming

attachments is to give children a

securely attached style. It gives them

independence and this ultimately allows

them to have secure attachments in

adulthood.

Adult attachments influence types of

relationships and are in internal and

they also impact our internal working

models.

So if we think about the positive self

model negative self model.. Positive model

of others negative model of others these

things form to create those attachments.

So let's go through what all of those

mean. So positive self model means that

you have a positive view of yourself and

believe that you are capable of forming

healthy relationships, you have trust

in yourself a negative self model on the

other hand is that you don't have a

positive view of yourself and don't

think that you're capable of forming

those relationships.

Positive model of others is that you

believe that other people are going to

be reliable and be there for you, and

conversely, the negative model of others

is when you feel like they aren't going

to be there for you,

or

they're not

reliable. So ideally we want to have a

positive model of self and a positive

model of others we believe in ourselves,

and and other people that we can form

attachments with healthy attachments,

and this impacts our relationships.

So childhood attachment styles again,

this is our starting point for talking

about attachment because we can see

attachment in even like little babies.

So what is an attachment style? An

attachment style is an interaction style

based on work the working models that we

saw in the previous slide that impact

the relationships we have, and the

relationships that we want again ideally

positive model of self and positive

model of others forms that those healthy

attachments and

we can see that they impact the

relationships we have and we want.

They're healthy.

What then? Shapes childhood attachment

styles in the netechi 2017 article,

they actually argue that not only

parents impact attachment style in

children but also just caregivers in

general. So teachers,

maybe family members who are really

close to the child these things can all

impact attachment styles and are really

important to consider when having

important fingers around your child

because it could impact negatively or

positively their attachment style.

So then that leads to the three types of

attachment styles that children can

develop, which are secure

avoidant and anxious ambivalent and

we're going to go through all what all

three of those mean.

If you would like you're more than

welcome to participate in this activity,

watch this video, write down your

thoughts. You don't have a neighbor,

but please feel free to kind of

think through the video and how

attachment can be seen. In this example,

this is a Barbara Ainsworth

experiment, it's called the strange

situation and they're experimenting on

young children seeing what their

attachment styles are,

and so kind of think through what that

attachment style is what features of

the interaction tell you

what type of attachment this is,

think about this before we go into the

attachment styles because I think

after you see the attachment styles. It

would kind of,

it would

make it hard for you to unsee the video

if that makes sense,

okay.

So securely attached children,

majority of children are actually

securely attached. Thankfully,

and we see that the first two to three

years of life are the critical point in

developing that secure attachment

again because parents are interacting. So

much with the child, they're providing

this blueprint of security to the child

and teaching them that they can rely on

the love, their loved ones.

They have responsive and warm parents.

So

if you think a child falls down, the

parent is there to be able to soothe the

child and to

help the child feel better.

They, this child will protest separation

from their parents. So they don't want to

be separated from their parents, but

they show happiness when their parents

come back. So they're not angry that

their parents left, even though they

initially protested that separation,

you can see that in the video that we

just went through,

and again, this is the model we want

children to be securely attached.

So,

on the flip side, we also have insecure

attachment styles and

avoidant is one of the attachment styles

that are insecure.

These children don't tend to explore

their environment. They're, they're a

little nervous to leave their parents,

they're rarely positive towards

strangers. So if you think the child

doesn't want to interact with other

people because

they're worried about the other person's

reaction. They don't have a positive

model of others. They don't think that

they can interact successfully,

they don't protest separation. So they

don't really care if their parent leaves,

but they also don't show any emotion

when the parent returns.

So they don't really have that that

healthy attachment to their caregiver

that they can turn to,

and then lastly, the third childhood

attachment style is anxious ambivalent.

And this child will protest separation,

but they're angry when the parent

returns. So they don't want their parent

to leave, and then when they do come back,

these, these feelings are angry. They feel

angry that their parent left them.

This also leads to maladaptive behaviors,

This could be,

you know, anger frustration coming out,

maybe actually misbehaving

in class, in life, in general. Not

listening to the parents because

they're so angry and upset about the

them leaving.

They also resist interaction after

the reunion. So

the child when the parent comes back,

they don't want anything to do with that

parent. So they actually physically

distance themselves because they don't

feel that relationship is safe, and they

don't feel like they're being heard in

the relationship

as well.

So these three attachment styles occur

in childhood attachment,

and then these also translate into

adult attachment styles, which there

are four of we're not going to go over

them today but

attachment translates over

the lifetime of the child. So it's not

just in childhood. It also impacts you as

an adult.

So these are all important things to

understand because they help us

understand

how we interact in relationships.

So again here's another fun activity for

you review this

scenario, you are eight years old, you

have been practicing your dance routine,

and the recital is tonight, your mom just

informed you that she will not be able

to attend because she has to work

overtime.

I want you to kind of think through

how an insecurely attached child might

respond to this and then how a securely

attached child would respond to this.

You again don't have a neighbor but

write this down and think about the

qualities that we talked about in the

attachment styles and what each of those

would look like in this scenario how

would a securely child respond and how

would an avoidant child respond.

They're not going to be happy when they

see their parent again or

will they kind of act out with those

maladaptive behaviors. What happens in

this scenario when the child is feeling

like they're not being heard and that

they don't have anyone there for them,

okay.

So

what might form these insecure

attachment styles. How do we get from

that securely attached style where the

child is heard and they care about their

parents relationship. They have that

positive model of self and positive

model of others. How does that go then to

an insecurely attached child?

There are numerous things that can

cause this

one of them being learning disorders or

cognitive delays,

darling rootsmen at all argue that

children with ADHD experience more of an

insecure attachment and this could

possibly be from the fact that

parents are not educated to be able to

respond in ways that actually support

that child. And so it makes it hard for

them to form an insecure, a secure

attachment. So thinking about how certain

disorders or delays can kind of provide

hurdles for parents in terms of being

able to connect with their child,

and they have to approach their child in

a different way. So really knowing the

child is important

to forming a secure attachment.

And also

if the caregiver is just not present. So

Feeney et al. in

2007 argued that adoption contributes to

insecure attachment styles. This is

actually one of my areas of study and

adoption because the child is

relinquished from the birth parents.

They're taken away often at an age where

they don't understand what's going on

this can contribute to an insecure

attachment style because they think that

their caregivers don't care,

and then the pace at all 2019 article

again argues that adoptees was secure

attack adoptive parents formed more

secure attachments. So it's really on the

parents part to form those secure

attachments because while adoption

puts a child at risk for developing an

insecure attachment. Ultimately, the

adoptive parents. So who the child spends

the rest of their time with who can

form those secure attachments and it's

really important.

So these are just a few of the things

that can cause an insecure attachment

style. Some more extremes could be

like abuse that the child feels like

they can't connect with their parents

because there's physical violence,

and there's a whole bunch of other

things but again, remember most of the

times children develop secure attachment

styles.

So now that we know what

secure attachment is in secure

attachment, and then what causes insecure

attachment.

Let's think about stability of

attachment over a lifetime

attachment tends to remain fairly stable

over. The lifetime

and this is partly because of the

reinforcement effect. So a child develops

group blueprint for interaction and

relationships with their parents,

and then they take that and apply that

to other relationships,

and the other relationships then respond

to them the same way that their parents

did and this is a reinforcement effect,

right. If

even, if a child is insecurely attached,

the predictability of those interactions

can kind of reinforce the cycle

and make it really difficult to change.

There are things that can change your

attachment style.

Some of these being significant events.

So something traumatic happens

something very good happens, this can

change your view of relationships

and ultimately your attachment style

think about if you got into a car crash,

and you were really scared. This might

make you turn from a securely attached

person to an insecurely attached person

because of the significant event.

Also

depending on

your romantic partner can develop a

certain attachment style

type of relationship also matters a lot.

So

thinking about the romantic partner like

that, that

interaction is much different than you

would have with your parent or your

sibling and that might create that

secure attachment that you've been

looking for or

it also could create an opportunity for

an insecure attachment to form

because your partner is not responding

the way that your parents would respond

to you or that you grew up feeling loved

in that way.

Again, the type of relationship thinking

about

friendships, romantic partners,

your teachers like you develop

attachment with

all the important people in your life in

healthy ways.

It's,

it matters the type of relationship

length of relationship and that

stuff might affect and be able to change.

Again, thinking about the context of

those relationships, it might change how

stable your attachment style is

and might impact it.

And then also lastly, your personality,

your,

your initiative and your

desire to change your attachment style

can also be a really motivating factor

to being able to change those attachment

styles because if you don't want to

change and you don't recognize kind of

this reinforcement effect in negative

cycles. You also

will not change. So being able to kind of

reflect on your own experiences will

also impact that.

So it's not to say that attachment can't

change. It's just very unlikely to change,

and we have to work towards changing

that insecure situations to get to a

secure attachment style because secure

attachment is really important in our

life, we're healthier with secure

attachments. We're happier with secure

attachments, we develop better

relationships, and it's very important

throughout our life.

So if you have any questions, please feel

free to reach out to me

via email. I'm here for questions. I'd

love, I would love to hear your reactions

and your comments to the activities. I

would love to hear what you all came up

with,

and I appreciate your time.

Thank you.