JourneyQuest S03E04 – "Stupid Humie Magic"

♪ [somber music] ♪

[Nara] Carrow?

[Nara] Carrow, are you here?

I'm here.

I...found Perf.

He's just sitting there, getting drunker and
drunker with some lusty dwarven tart.

Indulging in pleasures of the flesh.

So glad I stayed celibate all those years.

I spotted a mission in town.
I wasn't sure if you'd want to know.

- Carrow?
- [angrily] What?

I'm sorry.

Aren't we all?

[sighs]

♪ [Trumpet fanfare; theme music] ♪

[tavern sounds]

You're Silver Tom.

- You already knew that.
- I did not see you there.

I was in the privy.

I am a huge fan.

[Perf] "The Fall of the Seventh Stone"--
I could recite the whole thing from heart.

Oh, there's really no need--

♪ And there they were, down to the last... ♪
♪ dum-de-dum-da-da-dum... ♪

♪ And the dragon's toes were cold! ♪

The what?

Yeah...I never really got that line.

"Their flagons, gilt with gold."

That doesn't sound right.
Are you sure?

- Am I--?
- [Perf, skeptically] "Flagons."

Yes! It's about the ill-gotten spoils of war.
Not toes!

"Flagons...gold..."?

- How amazing!
- Yeah, I know; they're awesome...

He's cool.

Silver Tom.

We talked. Good people.

- So are you working on something?
- Gah!

You are surprisingly stealthy
for a drunk man.

They call me "The Yellow Shadow."

Okay, they don't. But they could.

I'm going to write that down.

Oh, look. I've forgotten my quill.
I'll be right back.

[Perf] So can I see it?

Gah! What are you?

Ohhhhh...
You're not allowed to talk to me, are you?

Are you working on an epic?
Of course you're working on an epic!

Who's not going to send Silver sodding Tom
out on some discount ballad?

Yes. Highly confidential,
my inebriated friend.

And I am exceedingly lucky
you will not remember this in the morning.

- Wait...is anybody here in the epic?
- Look! A distraction!

I don't see--ohhhh! Ha!
So sway! There's Silver Tom!

- Hey, was that Silver Tom?
- [whispering] Yes, that was Silver Tom.

Ahhh! [retches]

[disgusted voice] Ohh!

[in Orcish:]

[Grellnock] Ohh!

[intestinal rumbling; retches]

[intestinal rumbling; retches]

[Yart laughs]

[intestinal rumbling; both retch]

[intestinal rumbling; retches]

[shouts of horror] Aaaahhh!

[shouts of fear] Ohhh?

[sighs of relief]

[laughing]

I am figuratively drowning in subplots.

[slowly] You sme-ell naaice.

♪ [upbeat jazzy music] ♪

Oh, hi, Daggie. Is the bar closing?

No, I got Miad slinging drinks.
♪ [music stops] ♪

These guys quake! I mean, orcish wardrums,
satyrian rhythms...they're spectacular!

Good ear!

Hey, you guys quake!

[Perf] They waved at me!

We get all kinds of bards here.

We're the hot new stop between
the Afterlands and the Wicked Kingdoms.

You know, I haven't heard
music this good in years.

Not since I left Westhaven.

You know, when I was a kid, I always
wanted to run away and join a troupe,

but then the magic showed up,

and my parents sent me off to the Wizardium
for the tax break.

[both chuckle]

You know, I could see you as a bard.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

And I hear they make great lovers.

[high-pitched] Oh! Well!

[Perf] You know, I should probably be...
ooh...lying down for a while, actually.

- I can help you with that.
- Yeah? Thank you.

[Daggie] Okay. Okay.

So. If I do nothing, the Kings kill him.

But if I intervene, then the Guild
rejects my account.

Well, right there is why I'm an independent.

You don't need Bards' College
to be a bard, girl.

Well, most places won't hire you
unless you're Guild.

So? Write your own version.

If yours is the only one available,
they'll have to pick it up.

Look--who's history written by?

As long as you don't break the Grand Tenet,

and you don't become a character
in your own story, you're golden.

Look, if it got out how many Guild epics
started out as specs,

they wouldn't be able to fill their school.

So...your epic got a name?

JourneyQuest.

We'll call that a working title.
[sniffs]

What can I get you?

I'll have a tall ale.
With a side of dat ass.

- You care to repeat that?
- I am so sorry. [Wren chuckles]

- I clearly had too much to drink.
- Yeah.

[Miad] You didn't get to finish your song.

Oh. I only have Guild standards.
I don't have recital rights.

[Miad] Oh, rut the Guild!
Get up there and sing!

Go on.

[Miad laughs]

[Daggie whispers] There you go.

[Perf] Oh! Oh, this is really nice!
Are all your rooms just like this?

[Daggie laughs nervously]

I haven't slept in a real bed in...
I don't even remember.

- [Daggie] There you go.
- [Perf] Thank you. You're so nice.

[Daggie] Oh. Well, a girl tries.
[both laugh]

Well. My grandmother said

a man would miss an axe in the eye
if you didn't point it out to him,

so I'll speak it plain.
[clears throat; sighs]

I would really like
to start kissing you now.

- Clarification?
- Mm-hm?

[Perf] You want to...[gestures]
...with me?

That's what I've been hinting at
since you got here. Yes.

- Me?
- You.

You're just so skinny.
I bet I could count every rib.

And I mean to try! [laughs]

[Daggie] So...what do you say,
Longshanks?

[Perf] I am extremely flattered.
And, I mean, even curious.

[Daggie] But...?

Yes?

Well, let's get started!

[Perf] Whoa! You're really strong!

[Daggie] Yeah. It runs in the family.

[rips Perf's robe]
[Daggie] Meat Henge! Kinky!

[kissing sounds]

- [Daggie] Your beard tickles! [giggles]
- [Perf] So does yours.

[kissing sounds]

[Sword] I don't want to spoil the mood
or anything, but I will kill you.

- I will kill you, kill you, kill you, kill you--
- [Perf] Shhh!

- [Sword whispers] --kill you, kill you,
kill you, kill you.

[Glorion] ♪ Huzzah! ♪

What a revitalizing encounter!

Oh, sod this!

[Glorion] I've never killed an ogre before.
My honor grows by the day.

- [Roderick] It wasn't that impressive.
- What was that?

- I said I feel so safe with you.
- As well you should.

And I shall be even more formidable once
my sword is rightfully in my possession.

[Roderick] The world is a safer place
with you in it.

[Glorion] Enough simpering flattery,
Roderick. Adventure awaits!

Perf can't be far ahead of us.

[Roderick] I don't feel sorry for him
at all.

[Glorion] Come along, Roderick!

[slowly] I have glu-ten aller-zhee.

[Director] Cut.
[laughter]

So there's some moments in Season Three
where Carrow's eyes go all-black,

when that id, or whatever you want to call
it, really comes into play,

and that darkness that is slowly enveloping
him becomes more of a thing.

That's done sort of visually
by having black eyeballs.

And I was like, you know,
"Let's do the sclera lenses,"

like a big old suction cup
(pop!) on your eyeballs.

That's cool, but also, [secretively]
maybe I'd get to keep some sclera lenses.

And that's kind of neat.

But I kept on advocating this to Tony Becerra,
and he was not having it.

The crazy thing we had
for Carrow this season is

we had these all-black lenses,

which was Brian Lewis'
suggestion for that.

Unfortunately, the amount of time
we had scheduled wasn't safe.

It was a health...it didn't work for just
having those lenses in for that amount of time.

So we were very happy with the VFX
Adam Harum was able to do for us

from [unintelligible] and I think
they look amazing.

One of the things that I found
really interesting this season is

the orcs had a complete redesign
in terms of their overall effects.

I was delighted I actually got ears
this time around.

This season, actually in this room,

all of the orcs got together here
with some of the makeup team.

They did complete body-casts of our faces
and built them out for us individually.

There's a lot more detailing,
there's a lot more wear...

they're just building off our own faces
and then building exaggerations off of them.

It was really, really cool.

Just being able to move and express with it
was much easier this time around.

We actually had to cut a number of scenes
with the orcs

in order to make the timeline
and the shooting schedule work.

As it was written, the script picked up
where Season Two left off,

with the orcs going into
the Temple of All Dooms,

which was in the process of being looted
by its employees.

Grellnock and Yart try to convince Rilk,

"Ah, we did our best;
time to go back to the tribe."

Rilk then says, "Do you have a library?
Is there a library in the temple?"

And in the library is where they find
a spellbook,

some magic items that allow them
to catch up to the party,

and where Rilk finds an Orcish-English
phrasebook that he uses

to start learning the language
in case he should run into Wren again.

The Temple of All Dooms was just
one more set that we couldn't afford,

and I rewrote the scene so that
all that information was kind of hinted at

once they had arrived.

So all of the orcs,
when we're given our scripts,

we have them in English,
we have them in Orcish, written,

and then we also have a phonetic
breakdown of the Orcish.

More what we're doing is running
through it in Orcish and just getting

any pronunciation corrections [laughs]
that we need, which are always many.

Nobody speaks Orcish the same way in this.

You get to see some
characters that you know,

in this season, speak Orcish, that you
haven't heard speak it as much in the past,

and they don't sound necessarily like
any of the rest of us

that you've heard speak that way a lot.

He has been on this quest for a long time.

He's been in love with this woman,
who won't give him the time of day,

for a very long time.

It's less about his attraction to her
in return, which obviously is there;

it's more about being looked at like a person
for the first time in a long time.

He's more than just
this unwilling Chosen One;

he's a human.
He's a person who has feelings.

[no audio]

[sound of potion vials clinking]

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