Trump Abroad: Oh, the Places Those Tiny Hands Will Go!: The Daily Show

During his first official trip abroad, President Trump makes an arms deal with Saudi Arabia, gets rebuffed by First Lady Melania Trump and jeopardizes U.S. alliances.

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President Trump's first stop
was Saudi Arabia.

And, I don't know about you,

but I was waiting for him to
spark an international incident.

You know, like, I was waiting
for him to walk off the plane

going, "So many ninjas!"

(laughter)

But, luckily,
that didn't happen.

And, now, Trump hoped
that people would focus

on his carefully crafted speech
about Islam and terrorism,

but, uh,
unfortunately, his mouth

was soon overtaken by his hands.

REPORTER: You may have seen
this rather strange image

of President Trump standing
alongside the Saudi king

and the president of Egypt,

all off them with their hands
on a glowing white orb.

It looks less like a summit
of world leaders

and more like a scene
out of a bizarro Captain Planet.

You know?
"Let our powers combine. Oil!"

"Plutonium!"

"Spray tan!"

(laughter)

Now... Now, to be fair,

that's not all that Trump did
with his hands in Saudi Arabia.

The president also signed a deal
to sell the Saudis

$110 billion in weapons,

which-- can I just say
for a second?

Like, what a load
of bull(bleep), right?

No, no,
Trump goes to Saudi Arabia

and never once mentions
radical Islamic terrorism,

which is what he condemned
Obama for, right?

And on top of that,
he signs the biggest arms deal

in American history
with the Saudis,

the same people he even said
were behind 9/11.

Really? What, was Trump
sitting there with them like...

(imitating Trump):
"All right, you got to promise

you're not gonna use these
to do another 9/11."

They're like, "No, Donald,
we'll never do another 9/11.

We'll do
a completely different date."

"Deal.

Wait, what?"

But if you are worried
about American security,

luckily,
President Trump's speech

did offer a grim warning
to young Muslims

considering a career
in terrorism.

Your life will be empty,

your life will be brief

and your soul

will be fully condemned.

I-I'm sorry,
those were Trump's wedding vows.

-We were look... The-the tape...
-(laughter and applause)

D-Do we not have the...?

Hmm. Sorry about that.

Sorry.

So, all in all,

Trump handled
the Saudi trip well,

and he was just getting started.

Next stop, Israel,

where the president got a chance
to place his hands

on one of Jerusalem's
holiest sites,

the Western Wall.

And you know that made
a big impression on Trump.

"You see this, folks?

"They build one wall
2,000 years ago,

zero Mexicans
in their whole country."

(laughter)

And by the way,

my favorite part
of Trump's time in Israel

was the part when he didn't know

what part of the world
Israel was in.

We just got back
from the Middle East.

We just got back
from Saudi Arabia and, uh...

(laughter)

Everyone's reaction was captured
by that guy in the corner.

Just look at him.

Look at his face.

While Trump is saying that.

He's like, "Do you know
how much work I had to do

"just to get in this room,

and this asshole
didn't even look at a map?"

But it wasn't long
before Trump's hands

were once again
dominating his trip,

because instead of his visits

and looking at the effect
on U.S.-Israel relations,

everyone was focused
on Donald-Melania relations.

The thing that got an enormous
amount of media attention

had to do with Melania Trump,
the first lady, and some video.

Was this an actual slap,

or did she just
pull her hand away?

She pulled her hand away,

but I didn't quite see
the contact of a slap.

Wow.

Leave it to Fox News
not to recognize

what rejection
from a woman looks like.

(cheers and applause)

After seeing what Trump's hands

were capable of,
clearly, the new...

the newly elected
French president

wasn't taking any chances.

NEWSWOMAN: This handshake
with France's new president,

Emmanual Macron,
it went on and on.

So long,
it appears President Trump

tried to pull away,
their knuckles turning white.

NEWSMAN:
He told a French publication,

"My handshake with President
Trump was not innocent..."

Wow! That was the first time

Donald Trump was
on the receiving end

of an unwelcome hand grab.

And what's worse
is that after that,

President Macron bragged
about it to Billy Bush.

(French accent):
You should have seen him.

I moved on him like a bitch. Ah.

When you are famous,
you can do it. Yeah!

I just grabbed him,
and he was like,

"Let go, Macron, let go!"

I said, "You like that, Trump,
don't you? You like that!

Yeah, you like it. You like it."

-(cheering, applause)
-Now, uh...

Now, of course,
that handshake didn't distract

from Trump's hands' real agenda,
at the NATO meeing,

and that was finger-wagging.

Because during his speech,
Trump lambasted the Europeans

for not spending more
on their militaries.

And he wouldn't reaffirm
America's commitment

to defend Europe.

(like Trump):
Look, if it was up to me,

I'd fight for you,
but it's up to the orb now.

(laughter)

And the orb says no.

So in one day,
Trump may have done

what Russia has been trying
to do for 50 years.

Right? And that is
break the alliance

between the United States
and Europe.

Which would make it easier
for Russia to extend its powers

in places like the Ukraine.

And I don't know if Trump
even recognized

how bad this trip was
for U.S.-European relations.

Because when he got back,
he tweeted...

Now, unfortunately,
the big results

aren't what most Americans
would have hoped for.

NEWSWOMAN: German chancellor,
Angela Merkel, warned Sunday

that Europe cannot completely
rely on the U.S. anymore.

TRANSLATOR: The times when we
can completely count on others,

they are over
to a certain extent.

I've experienced this
in the last few days,

and that is why I can only say
that we Europeans

must really take our fate
into our own hands.

Yeah. Clearly, Angela Merkel
got one look at Trump,

and was like, "All right,
our fate is in our own hands,

because his clearly ruin
everything they touch."