Simon Sinek on Millennials in the Workplace

What's the Millennial question?

Apparently Millennials is

a generation, which is a

group of people who were born

approximately 1984 and after,

are tough to manage.

And they're accused of being

entitled and narcissistic

and self-interested,

unfocused, lazy.

But entitled is the big one.

And because they confound

leadership so much,

what is happening is leaders

are asking the Millennials:

What do you want?

And Millennials are saying,

we want to work in a place with purpose.

Love that.

We want to make an impact,

you know, whatever that means.

[Laughter]

We want free food and beanbags.

[Laughter]

And so somebody articulated

some sort of purpose,

there's lots of free food

and there's bean bags.

And yet, for some reason,

they are still not happy.

And that's because they're missing --

there's a missing piece.

What I've learned is

I can break it down

into four pieces.

Right.

There are four things,

four characteristics.

One is parenting,

the other one is technology,

the third is impatience,

and the fourth is environment.

The generation that we call the Millennials,

too many of them grew up subject to --

not my words --

failed parenting strategies,

you know.

Where, for example,

they were told that they

were special all the time.

They were told that they

can have anything they want

in life just because they want it, right.

They were told --

some of them got into honors classes,

not because they deserved it

but because their parents complained.

And some of them got A's,

not because they earned them

but because the teachers

didn't want to deal with the parents.

Some kids got participation medals.

You got a medal for coming in last, right.

which the science we know is

pretty clear is it devalues

the medal and the reward

for those that actually work hard,

and it actually makes the person

who comes in last feel embarrassed

because they know they didn't deserve it.

So it actually makes them feel worse, right.

So you take this group

of people and they graduate school

and they get a job and they

are thrust into the real world,

and, in an instant,

they find out they're not special.

Their moms can't get them a promotion,

that you get nothing for coming in last,

and, by the way, you can't just

have it because you want it.

And in an instant,

their entire self image is shattered.

And so you have an entire generation

that's growing up with lower

self-esteem than previous generations.

The other problem to compound

it is we're growing up in a Facebook,

Instagram world.

In other words,

we're good at putting filters on things.

We're good at showing people that

life is amazing even though I'm depressed, right.

And so everybody sounds tough and

everybody sounds like they

got it all figured out.

And the reality is there

is very little toughness

and most people don't

have it figured out.

So when the more senior

people say well,

what should we do?

They sound like this

is what you got to do,

and they have no clue, right.

[Laughter]

So you have an entire generation

growing up with lower self-esteem

than previous generations, right,

through no fault of their own.

Through no fault of their own, right.

They were dealt a bad hand, right.

Now, let's add in technology.

We know that engagement with

social media and our cell phones

releases a chemical called dopamine.

That's why when you get a

text it feels good, right.

So, you know, we've all had it

where you're feeling a little bit

down or feeling a bit lonely

and so you send out 10 texts

to 10 friends, you know, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi

[Laughter]

because it feels good when

you get a response, right?

Right?

It's why we count the likes.

It's why we go back ten times to see,

and if it's going --

if my Instagram is growing slower,

did I do something wrong?

Do they not like me anymore?

Right.

The trauma for young kids

to be unfriended, right,

because we know when you get it,

you get a hit of dopamine which feels good,

that's why we like it,

that's why we keep going back to it.

Dopamine is the exact same chemical

that makes us feel good when we smoke,

when we drink, and when we gamble.

In other words, it's highly,

highly addictive.

Right.

We have age restrictions on

smoking, gambling and alcohol.

And we have no age restrictions

on social media and cell phones,

which is the equivalent of opening

up the liquor cabinet and

saying to our teenagers, hey,

by the way, this adolescence thing,

if it gets you down [Indicating]

[Laughter]

But that's basically what's happening.

That's basically what's happening, right.

That's basically what's happening.

You have an entire generation

that has access to an addictive,

numbing chemical called dopamine

through social media and cellphones

as they're going through the

high stress of adolescence.

Why is this important?

Almost every alcoholic discovered

alcohol when they were teenagers.

When we are very, very young,

the only approval we need

is the approval of our parents.

And as we go through adolescence,

we make this transition where

we now need the approval of our peers.

Very frustrating for our parents,

very important for us.

That allows us to culturate

outside of our immediate families

into the broader tribe, right.

It's a highly, highly stressful

and anxious period of our lives

and we're supposed to learn

to rely on our friends.

Some people, quite by accident,

discover alcohol and the numbing effects

of dopamine to help them

cope with the stresses

and anxieties of adolescence.

Unfortunately,

that becomes hardwired

in their brains,

and for the rest of their lives

when they suffer significant stress,

they will not turn to a person,

they will turn to the bottle.

Social stress, financial stress,

career stress, that's pretty much

the primary reasons why

an alcoholic drinks, right.

What's happening is because

we are allowing unfettered

access to these dopamine

producing devices and media,

basically it's becoming hardwired.

And what we're seeing is

as they grow older,

too many kids don't know how

to form deep meaningful relationships.

Their words, not mine.

They will admit that many of

their friendships are superficial.

They will admit that their friends,

that they don't count on their friends.

They don't rely on their friends.

They have fun with their friends,

but they also know that their friends

will cancel on them if something

better comes along.

Deep meaningful relationships

are not there because they

never practiced the skill set.

And worse, they don't have the

coping mechanisms to deal with stress.

So when significant stress starts

to show up in their lives,

they're not turning to a person.

They are turning to a device.

They're turning to social media.

They're turning to these things

which offer temporary relief.

We know -- the science is clear --

we know that people who spend

more time on Facebook suffer higher

rates of depression than people who

spend less time on Facebook, right.

These things balanced,

alcohol is not bad,

too much alcohol is bad.

Gambling is fun,

too much gambling is dangerous, right.

There is nothing wrong with

social media and cell phones.

It's the imbalance, right.

If you're sitting at dinner

with your friends and you're

texting somebody who is not there,

that's a problem.

That's an addiction.

If you're sitting in a meeting

with people you're supposed to be

listening to and speaking and

you put your phone on the table,

face up or face down, I don't care,

that sends a subconscious message

to the room that you're just not

that important to me right now.

Right.

That's what happens.

And the fact that you cannot

put it away is because you are addicted.

If you wake up and you

check your phone before you

say good morning to your girlfriend,

boyfriend or spouse,

you have an addiction.

And like all addiction, in time,

it will destroy relationships.

It will cost time and it will

cost money and it will make

your life worse, right.

So you have a generation growing up

with lower self-esteem that doesn't

have the coping mechanisms

to deal with stress.

Right.

Now you add in the sense of impatience, right.

They've grown up in a world

with instant gratification.

You want to buy something,

you go on Amazon it arrives the next day.

You want to watch a movie,

log on and watch a movie.

You don't check movie times.

You want to watch a TV show, binge.

You don't even have to wait week

to week to week, right.

I know people who skip seasons

just so they can binge at

the end of the season, right.

[Laughter]

Instant gratification.

You want to go on a date,

you don't even have to learn

how to be like hey [Shyly Indicating]

[Laughter]

You don't even have to learn

and practice that skill.

You don't have to be uncomfortable

and say yes when you mean no

and says no when you mean no and yes --

swipe right.

Bang, I'm a stud.

Right.

You don't even have to learn

the social coping mechanisms.

Right.

Everything you want you

can have instantaneously.

Everything you want,

instant gratification,

except job satisfaction

and strength of relationships.

There ain't no app for that.

They are slow, meandering,

uncomfortable, messy processes.

And so I keep meeting these wonderful,

fantastic, idealistic,

hardworking, smart kids.

They've just graduated school.

They're in their entry-level job.

I sit down with them,

when I go how's it going?

They go, I think I'm going to quit.

I'm like, why?

They're like, I'm not making an impact.

I'm like, you've been here eight months.

[Laughter]

You know.

It's as if they're standing

at the foot of a mountain

and they have this abstract

concept called impact that

they want to have in the world,

which is the summit.

What they don't see is the mountain.

I don't care if you go up the mountain

quickly or slowly, but there's

still a mountain.

And so what this young generation

needs to learn is patience.

That some things that really,

really matter, like love or

job fulfillment, joy, love of life,

self-confidence, a skill set,

any of these things, all of these things,

take time.

Sometimes you can expedite pieces of it,

but the overall journey is arduous

and long and difficult, and if you

don't ask for help and learn that skill set,

you will fall off the mountain or you will --

the worse case scenario, the worse case scenario,

and we're already seeing it,

the worse case scenario is we're

seeing an increase in suicide rates.

We're seeing an increase, in this generation,

we're seeing an increase in accidental

deaths due to drug overdoses.

We're seeing more and more kids

drop out of school or take leaves

of absence due to depression.

Unheard of.

This is really bad.

The best case scenario --

those are all bad cases, right.

The best case scenario is you'll

have an entire population growing up

and going through life and just

never really finding joy.

They'll never really find deep,

deep fulfillment in work or in life.

They'll just waft through life

and it will be just, it's fine.

How's your job?

It's fine, the same as yesterday.

How's you're relationship?

It's fine.

Like that's the best case scenario,

which leads me to the fourth point,

which is environment.

Which is we're taking this

amazing group of young,

fantastic kids who were

just dealt a bad hand,

it's no fault of their own,

and we've put them in corporate environments

that care more about the numbers

than they do about the kids.

They care more about the short-term

gains than the long-term life of

this young human being.

We care more about the year

than the lifetime, right.

And so we are putting them in

corporate environments that

aren't helping them build their confidence.

That aren't helping them learn

the skills of cooperation.

That aren't helping them overcome

the challenges of a digital world

and finding more balance.

That isn't helping them overcome

the need to have instant gratification

and teach them the joys and

impact and the fulfillment that

you get from working hard on

something for a long time,

that cannot be done in a

month or even in a year.

And so we're thrusting them

into corporate environments.

And the worse part about it

is they think it's them.

They blame themselves.

They think it's them who can't deal,

and so it makes it all worse.

It's not.

I'm here to tell them it's not them.

It's the corporations.

It's the corporate environments.

It's the total lack of good

leadership in our world today

that is making them feel

the way they do.

They were dealt a bad hand.

And I hate to say it,

but it's the company's responsibility.

It sucks to be you, like we have no choice.

This is what we've got.

And I wish society and

their parents did a better job,

they didn't.

So we're getting them in our companies

and we now have to pick up the slack.

We have to work extra hard to figure out

the ways that we build their confidence.

We have to work extra hard

to find ways to teach them the

social skills that they're missing out on.

There should be no cell phones in

conference rooms, none.

Zero.

And I don't mean the kind of like

sitting outside waiting to text.

I mean like when you're sitting

and waiting for a meeting to start, nobody goes --

This is what we all do.

We all sit here [Indicating]

and wait for the meeting to start.

Meeting starting?

Okay.

And we start the meeting.

No.

That's not how relationships are formed.

Remember we talked about it's the little things.

Relationships are formed this way,

we're waiting for a meeting to start

and we go, how's your dad?

I heard he was in the hospital.

Oh, he is really good, thanks for asking.

He's actually at home now.

Oh, I'm really glad.

That was really amazing.

I know.

It was really scary for a while.

That's how you form relationships.

Hey, did you ever get that report done?

Oh, my God, no, I didn't.

I'll help you out.

I'll totally help you out with that.

Really?

That's how trust forms.

Trust doesn't form in an event in a day.

Even bad times don't form trust immediately.

It's the slow, steady consistency.

And we have to create mechanisms where

we allow for those little innocuous

interactions to happen.

But when we allow cellphones

in conference rooms, we just [Indicating]

Okay, have the meeting.

And my favorite is like when there

is a cellphone there and you go

like this you go [Indicating]

It rings, and you go I'm not

going to answer that.

Mr. Magnanimous, you know.

When you're out to dinner with your friends --

and I do this with my friends.

When we're going out for dinner

and we're leaving together,

we'll leave our cellphones at home.

Who are we calling?

Maybe one of us will bring the phone in

case we need to call an Uber or

take a picture of our meal.

[Laughter]

That goes without saying, come on.

I'm not -- I'm an idealist, but I'm not insane.

Not a heathen.

I mean, it looked really good.

We'll take one phone.

And so it's like an alcoholic.

The reason you take the alcohol

out of the house is because we

cannot trust our willpower.

We're just not strong enough.

But when you remove the temptation,

it actually makes it a lot easier.

And so when you just say don't check your phone,

people literally will go like this.

And somebody will go to the bathroom,

and what's the first thing we do?

Grab the phone, because I wouldn't

want to look around the restaurant for

a minute and a half.

You know.

But if you don't have the phone,

you just kind of enjoy the world.

And that's where ideas happen.

The constant, constant, constant engagement

is not where you have innovation and ideas.

Ideas happen when our minds wonder and

we go and you see something and you

go I bet they can do that.

That's called innovation.

Right.

But we're taking away

all those little moments.

Right.

You should not -- none of us,

none of us should charge our

phones by our beds.

We should be charging our

phones in the living rooms.

Right.

Remove the temptation.

You wake up in the middle

of the night because you can't sleep,

you won't check your phone,

which makes it worse.

But if it's in the living room,

it's relaxed.

It's fine.

But it's my alarm clock.

Buy an alarm clock.

[Laughter]

It costs $8, right.

[Laughter]

I'll buy you an alarm clock.