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So I think the title of this article
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pretty much sums up what we're
gonna be talking about today.
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Pastor accused of three
million dollar crypto scam
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says he may have misheard God.
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Oh...
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No, man, what makes you say that?
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What makes you think that
God wouldn't want you to
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do a rug pull on your congregation?
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That's crazy.
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This story's been in the news
the past couple weeks,
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I'm only a little bit
familiar with the details,
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so I had my
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(mock music) elite team of
content supervisors,
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uh, which is just one guy,
his name is Robert,
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go through, and
(music stops) find me
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all of the necessary information
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so I can fully understand this story
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and relay it to you.
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Everybody say, "thank you Robert."
(sparkling sound)
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(wholesome music)
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Now everybody say, "thank you Danny."
(sparkling sound)
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(wholesome music continues)
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Now everybody say, "love you Danny?"
(distorted sparkling sound)
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(music stops)
And now let's get into it.
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An online pastor was
charged with civil fraud
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for selling a cryptocurrency
that regulators described as
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"practically worthless."
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His explanation: God told him to do it,
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although it's possible
(laughing) he misheard.
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It's interesting that he's
only saying that
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he MIGHT'VE misheard
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now that he's being called out for it.
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He got caught, and now he's like,
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"Well yeah, I might've misheard him."
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Something tells me in the
initial stages of this scheme
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he wasn't going around
telling people, like,
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"Now I might've misheard God,
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but I'm pretty sure he wants
you to buy this cryptocurrency.
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God's been really into
the blockchain lately
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He thinks it's the future."
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I like that the regulators described
it as
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"practically worthless."
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It's not completely worthless.
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But it's-- it's pretty much worthless.
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(chill jaunty music)
Eh, it's kinda fun to buy, I guess.
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You know, it's fun to get
involved in a little project,
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setting up your crypto
wallet and everything,
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but for all intents and purposes
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this will make you broke.
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This is a horrible decision to buy.
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LITTLE fun though.
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Colorado securities commissioner
filed a legal complaint
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against... Eligio.
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Eliggy-o.
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(mispronouncing) Regaldo.
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Eligio Regaldo.
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Who goes by Eli--
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Oh thank God.
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and his wife, Kaitlyn Regaldo, last week.
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The couple raised nearly
3.2 million dollars
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by targeting Denver's Christian
community with the cryptocurrency,
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marked as INDXcoin, the complaint said.
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Sorry, you're not even gonna
give it a Christian name?
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IND-- Index?
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Indix?
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(shocked sound) In-dicks?
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You put these crypto coins in dicks?
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Shoulda called it God Coin or something.
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Something creative.
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Tithe Coin, maybe? I don't know.
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Investigators accused
the couple of violating
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Colorado's anti-fraud licensing
and registration laws.
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They alleged the cryptocurrency
was promoted as
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low risk, high profit investment,
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while it was actually illiquid
and practically useless.
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Well, hold on now. Maybe he didn't say
who it was high profit for.
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It WAS high profit, it was just for him.
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Wait, high profit...
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Are you sure he didn't mean
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high PROPHET?
(angelic choir)
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Jake, on the screen, can
you spell "prophet" with a PH?
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Like the Biblical type of prophet?
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And then you can also keep
me explaining this part of the joke in.
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That way if anyone's listening
to this and not watching
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they can still get the joke that I made.
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Thank you.
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(angelic choir)
