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[This talk contains mature content.]
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When I was 14,
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my parents intended to marry me off
to a man of their choosing.
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I refused.
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That choice to defy my family
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shaped everything in my life
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and set me on the path
to become who I am today.
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But it was very painful at times,
and continues to be so.
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My parents were raised in traditional,
uneducated Moroccan families
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where a girl's main value
is measured by her virginity.
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They emigrated to Belgium,
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and I was born, raised and educated there.
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I did not accept their view of the world.
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When I said no to them,
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I paid for it dearly in terms of
physical and emotional abuse,
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but eventually I escaped from their home
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and became a federal police detective
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who could help protect
the rights of others.
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My specialty was investigating
cases in counterterrorism,
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child abduction and homicide.
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I loved that work,
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and it was extremely fulfilling.
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With my Muslim background,
Arabic language skills,
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and an interest
in working internationally,
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I decided to seek new challenges.
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After decades of being a police officer,
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I was recruited to become an investigator
of sexual and gender-based violence
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as a member of the Justice Rapid Response
and UN Women roster.
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Justice Rapid Response is an organization
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for criminal investigations
of mass atrocities.
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They run on both public
and private funding
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and provide evidence and reports
to more than 100 participating countries.
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Many countries in conflict
are often unable to provide a just process
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to those who have been
victims of mass violence.
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To respond to that,
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Justice Rapid Response was created
in partnership with UN Women.
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Together,
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Justice Rapid Response and UN Women
recruited, trained and certified
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more than 250 professionals
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with a specific expertise
in sexual and gender-based violence,
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like me.
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Our investigations are carried out
under international law
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and our findings eventually
become evidence
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to prosecute war criminals.
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This mechanism provides hope to victims
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that justice and accountability
may someday be found
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in the wake of war and conflict.
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Let me tell you about the most
challenging work I have ever done.
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This was in Iraq.
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Since the rise of the Islamic State
of Iraq and Syria, or ISIS,
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this group has systematically
attacked and tortured
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many religious minorities and ethnicities,
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such as the Christians,
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the Shi'a Turkmen, Shi'a Muslims,
Shi'a Shabaks, and the Yazidis.
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The persecution of the Yazidis
has been especially horrific.
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On the 3rd and 15th of August 2014,
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ISIS attacked approximately
20 villages and towns
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in Sinjar, Iraq.
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They executed all the males
over the age of 14,
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including the elderly and disabled.
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They divided up the women and girls,
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raped them,
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and sold them into sexual
and domestic slavery.
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One month later,
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a UN Human Rights Council resolution
led to the fact-finding mission on Iraq
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to investigate and document
alleged violations and abuses
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committed by ISIS and associated groups.
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I was sent to investigate the atrocities
committed against the Yazidis,
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with a focus on sexual
and gender-based crimes.
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The Yazidis are a Kurdish-speaking
ethno-religious community
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based in northern Iraq.
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Their belief system incorporates
aspects of Judaism, Christianity,
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Islam, and Zoroastrianism.
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For hundreds of years,
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Muslims and Christians
who do not understand their beliefs
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have condemned the Yazidis
as devil-worshippers.
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ISIS thought of them in this way
and vowed to destroy them.
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OK, let's do an experimental thought here.
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I want you to think about
your worst sexual experience
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and recall it in detail.
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Now turn to the person to your right
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and describe that experience.
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(Laughter)
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I know it's difficult, eh?
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(Laughter)
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But of course I wouldn't
expect you to do that.
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You would all be uncomfortable
and embarrassed.
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And so imagine an 11-year old girl
in the Middle East
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who was not educated about sexuality,
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who was taken from her comfort zone,
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her family,
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who witnessed the execution
of her father and brothers,
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having to describe in detail
the rape that she faced in a culture
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where talking about sexuality is taboo.
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Her only way of recovering her honor
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is to hide the crime,
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believe she was married against her will,
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or deny the events out of shame
and fear of being rejected.
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I interviewed a girl who I will call Ayda.
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She was purchased
by an ISIS leader, or emir,
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together with 13 other girls
aged between 11 and 18 years old.
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Amongst the group were
her three nieces and two cousins.
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The 14 girls were taken
to a house full of ISIS fighters.
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An imam was present who made it clear
that their religion was wrong
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and the only good path was to accept Islam
and marry a Muslim man.
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The emir wrote the names of the girls
on 14 small pieces of paper.
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Two ISIS fighters would pick
a piece of paper each.
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They would call out the name
written on the paper,
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and those girls were forcibly taken
into another room.
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While the emir and the imam
held the two girls screaming,
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as they were being raped,
they began laughing.
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Both were telling the other girls
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that the two girls should enjoy
the experience instead of screaming.
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After a while, the girls
were brought back into the room.
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They were in shock and were bleeding.
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They confirmed that they had been married
and suffered a lot of pain.
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It is important to consider the fact
that they had been raised to believe
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in sexual intercourse
with one man in their lifetime:
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their husband.
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The only connection that they could make
in their shocked state
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is to define their rape as marriage.
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Before the next two girls
were taken to be raped,
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Ayda made a terrifying decision.
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As the oldest of the group,
she convinced the emir
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to let them use the bathroom in order
to wash themselves before marriage.
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Ayda had been told by one of the girls
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that she noticed rat poison
in the bathroom.
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The 14 girls decided
to end their suffering
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by drinking the poison.
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Before the poison took full effect,
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they were discovered by ISIS
and taken to the hospital,
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where they survived.
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ISIS decided to separate the girls
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and sell them individually.
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Ayda was taken to another house
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and brutally raped
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after she attempted again
to kill herself with her headscarf.
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She was beaten and raped every two days.
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After four months in captivity,
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Ayda found the courage to escape.
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She never saw the other 13 girls again.
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I interviewed Ayda multiple times.
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She was willing to speak to me
because she had heard from other victims
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that there was a woman from the UN
who understood her complicated culture.
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I looked into her eyes,
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I listened deeply to the stories
of her darkest hours.
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We established a personal connection
that continues to this day.
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My upbringing made it easy for me
to understand her extreme sense of shame
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and her fear of being rejected.
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These types of investigations are not only
about gathering information and evidence,
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but they're also about victim support.
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The bonds I established with the victims
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strengthens their confidence
and willingness to seek justice.
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As she considered her escape,
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Ayda, like all Yazidi survivors,
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faced a dilemma.
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Should she continue to suffer
the abuse of her captors,
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or would it be better to return home
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where she would face shame, rejection,
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and possibly honor killing.
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I know all too well the pain
of being rejected
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by my Moroccan community in Belgium,
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and I did not want this to happen
to the Yazidi community.
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So a group of concerned entities,
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including the UN,
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NGOs, politicians,
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and members of the Yazidi community
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approached a religious leader Baba Sheikh.
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After many meetings,
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he realized that these girls
had not disrespected their religion
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by being forcibly converted to Islam
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and married to ISIS fighters.
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Instead, they have been abducted,
raped, and sexually enslaved.
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I am happy to report
that, after our meetings,
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Baba Sheikh announced publicly
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that the survivors should be
treated as victims
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and embraced by the community.
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This message was heard
throughout the community,
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and eventually reached the survivors
being held captive by ISIS.
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After his declaration of support,
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the survivors were motivated
to escape from ISIS
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as Ayda has done,
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and many young Yazidi women
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took the bold step and returned
home to their communities.
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Baba Sheikh's public pronouncement
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saved the lives of many
young Yazidi women,
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both in captivity and after their escaped.
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Sadly, not all religious leaders
agreed to talk with us.
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Some victims had far
worse outcomes than the Yazidis.
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For example, only 43
of the five to six hundred victims
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from the Shi'a Turkmen community
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were able to return home
after escaping ISIS.
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Some of them were advised by their family
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to stay with ISIS
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or commit suicide in order
to save the honor of the family.
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?? established a project
to support survivors of ISIS
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by providing psychosocial support
and housing for 1,100 women and children,
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including Ayda.
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I visited Ayda several times
during my work.
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I am so proud of her
and the other victims.
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The progress they have made is remarkable.
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It is really moving to see
how many of them,
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despite their struggles,
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have benefited from this program.
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The program includes
individual and group counseling,
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art therapy, music therapy,
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sport activities,
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language courses,
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school and other integration efforts.
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What I observed was that
removing the victims
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from an area of conflict
to a country of peace
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had a positive impact on all of them.
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This project caught
the attention of other countries,
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and they were interested
to help more Yazidis.
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The Yazidi women and girls
still call and text me
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to tell me about their grades at school,
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fun trips they've taken,
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or to inform me about their future dreams
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like writing a book about
what they have faced with ISIS.
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Sometimes they are sad
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and feel the need to talk again
about the events.
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I'm not a psychologist,
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and I have faced secondary PTSD
from their horrific stories,
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but I keep encouraging them to talk
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and I keep listening,
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because I do not want them
to feel alone in their suffering.
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Through these anecdotes,
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I see a bigger picture emerging.
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These women and girls are healing.
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They are no longer afraid to seek justice.
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Without hope there can be no justice,
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and without justice there can be no hope.
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Every 3rd and 15th of August,
it's my remembrance day,
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and I reach out to the Yazidis to let them
know that I'm thinking about them.
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They're always happy when I do that.
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It's an emotional day for them.
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This past August, I spoke with Ayda.
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She was so happy to announce
that one of her nieces
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who was abducted with her
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was finally released
out of ISIS hands in Syria
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and returned to Iraq.
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Can you believe that?
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After four years?
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Today her biggest wish
is for her whole family,
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now located across three continents,
to be reunited, and I hope they will.
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When I think about
the survivors I work with,
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I remember the words
of an Egyptian doctor,
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writer, and human rights activist,
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Nawal El Saadawi.
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In her book, "Woman at Point Zero,"
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she wrote, "Life is very hard,
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and the only people who really live
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are those who are harder
than life itself."
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These victims have been
through unimaginable pain,
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but with a little help,
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they show how resilient they are.
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Each has their own perspective
on what kind of justice she seeks,
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and I believe deeply
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that a credible justice process is key
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to how she reclaims her dignity
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and finds closure with her trauma.
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Justice is not only about
punishing the perpetrator.
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It's about victims
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feeling that crimes committed against them
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have been recorded and recognized
by the rule of law.
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For me, it has been
the experience of a lifetime
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to work with these survivors.
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Because I share their sorrow,
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their language and their culture,
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we connect on the deepest human level.
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This itself is an act of healing,
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to be heard, to be seen,
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to be given compassion
instead of condemnation.
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When we get so close to people in pain,
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it creates pain for the investigators too.
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My work is challenging,
heartbreaking and trauma-inducing,
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but let me tell you why I do it.
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When I meet the survivors
of these mass atrocities,
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when I hold their hands
I look in their eyes,
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it does not erase my own pain
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but it does make it almost worthwhile,
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and there's nothing
I would rather be doing.
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When I see these brave survivors
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struggling to connect again
to their own self-worth,
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to their families, to their place
in a society that values them,
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it is an honor to bear witness,
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it is a privilege to seek justice,
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and that is healing too
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for all of us.
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Thank you.
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(Applause)