3 questions to ask yourself about everything you do
-
0:01 - 0:04When I was in high school
at the age of 17 -- -
0:04 - 0:07I graduated from high school
in Decatur, Georgia, -
0:07 - 0:09as valedictorian of my high school --
-
0:10 - 0:11I was very proud of myself.
-
0:11 - 0:15I was from a low-income community,
I had grown up in Mississippi, -
0:15 - 0:17we'd moved from Mississippi to Georgia
-
0:17 - 0:22so my parents could pursue their degrees
as United Methodist ministers. -
0:22 - 0:25We were poor, but they didn't think
we were poor enough, -
0:25 - 0:27so they were going for permanent poverty.
-
0:27 - 0:28(Laughter)
-
0:28 - 0:30And so, while they studied at Emory,
-
0:30 - 0:34I studied at Avondale,
and I became valedictorian. -
0:34 - 0:37Well, one of the joys of being
valedictorian in the state of Georgia -
0:37 - 0:40is that you get invited
to meet the governor of Georgia. -
0:41 - 0:43I was mildly interested in meeting him.
-
0:44 - 0:46It was kind of cool.
-
0:46 - 0:49I was more intrigued by the fact
that he lived in a mansion, -
0:49 - 0:52because I watched a lot
of "General Hospital" and "Dynasty" -
0:52 - 0:53as a child.
-
0:53 - 0:55(Laughter)
-
0:55 - 0:59And so I got up that morning,
ready to go to visit the governor. -
0:59 - 1:02My mom and my dad,
who were also invited, got up, -
1:02 - 1:03and we went outside.
-
1:03 - 1:05But we didn't get in our car.
-
1:05 - 1:09And in the south,
a car is a necessary thing. -
1:09 - 1:12We don't have a lot of public transit,
there aren't a lot of options. -
1:12 - 1:14But if you're lucky enough
to live in a community -
1:14 - 1:16where you don't have a car,
-
1:16 - 1:18the only option is public transit.
-
1:18 - 1:19And that's what we had to take.
-
1:20 - 1:22And so we got on the bus.
-
1:22 - 1:25And we took the bus from Decatur
all the way to Buckhead, -
1:25 - 1:30where the Governor's Mansion sat
on this really beautiful acreage of land, -
1:30 - 1:33with these long black gates
that ran the length of the property. -
1:33 - 1:35We get to the Governor's Mansion,
-
1:35 - 1:38we pull the little lever
that lets them know this is our stop, -
1:38 - 1:39we get off the bus,
-
1:39 - 1:42my mom, my dad and I,
we walk across the street. -
1:42 - 1:45We walk up the driveway,
because there are cars coming up, -
1:45 - 1:48cars bringing in students
from all across the state of Georgia. -
1:48 - 1:49So we're walking along the side.
-
1:49 - 1:51And as we walk single file along the side,
-
1:52 - 1:55my mom and dad sandwiching me to make sure
I don't get hit by one of the cars -
1:55 - 1:57bringing in the other valedictorians,
-
1:57 - 1:59we approach the guard gate.
-
1:59 - 2:01When we get to the guard gate,
the guard comes out. -
2:01 - 2:04He looks at me,
and he looks at my parents, -
2:04 - 2:07and he says, "You don't belong here,
this is a private event." -
2:08 - 2:12My dad says, "No, this is my daughter,
Stacey. She's one of the valedictorians." -
2:12 - 2:15But the guard doesn't look
at the checklist that's in his hands. -
2:15 - 2:17He doesn't ask my mom for the invitation
-
2:17 - 2:20that's at the bottom
of her very voluminous purse. -
2:20 - 2:23Instead, he looks
over our shoulder at the bus, -
2:23 - 2:27because in his mind, the bus is telling
him a story about who should be there. -
2:27 - 2:31And the fact that we were too poor
to have our own car -- -
2:31 - 2:33that was a story he told himself.
-
2:33 - 2:35And he may have seen
something in my skin color, -
2:35 - 2:37he may have seen something in my attire;
-
2:37 - 2:39I don't know what went through his mind.
-
2:39 - 2:42But his conclusion was
to look at me again, -
2:42 - 2:43and with a look of disdain, say,
-
2:43 - 2:47"I told you, this is a private event.
You don't belong here." -
2:47 - 2:51Now, my parents were studying to become
United Methodist ministers, -
2:51 - 2:53but they were not pastors yet.
-
2:53 - 2:55(Laughter)
-
2:55 - 2:58And so they proceeded
to engage this gentleman -
2:58 - 3:01in a very robust discussion
of his decision-making skills. -
3:01 - 3:02(Laughter)
-
3:02 - 3:04My father may have mentioned
-
3:04 - 3:07that he was going to spend eternity
in a very fiery place -
3:07 - 3:09if he didn't find my name
on that checklist. -
3:09 - 3:12And indeed, the man checks
the checklist eventually, -
3:12 - 3:14and he found my name,
and he let us inside. -
3:15 - 3:18But I don't remember meeting
the governor of Georgia. -
3:18 - 3:21I don't recall meeting
my fellow valedictorians -
3:21 - 3:23from 180 school districts.
-
3:23 - 3:25The only clear memory I have of that day
-
3:25 - 3:28was a man standing in front
of the most powerful place in Georgia, -
3:28 - 3:31looking at me and telling me
I don't belong. -
3:32 - 3:35And so I decided, 20-some-odd years later,
-
3:35 - 3:38to be the person
who got to open the gates. -
3:38 - 3:42(Cheers)
-
3:42 - 3:46(Applause)
-
3:47 - 3:50Unfortunately, you may have read
the rest of the story. -
3:50 - 3:52It didn't quite work out that way.
-
3:52 - 3:55And now I'm tasked with figuring out:
How do I move forward? -
3:56 - 4:00Because, you see, I didn't just want
to open the gates for young black women -
4:00 - 4:02who had been underestimated
and told they don't belong. -
4:02 - 4:06I wanted to open those gates
for Latinas and for Asian Americans. -
4:06 - 4:10I wanted to open those gates
for the undocumented and the documented. -
4:11 - 4:14I wanted to open those gates
as an ally of the LGBTQ community. -
4:14 - 4:15I wanted to open those gates
-
4:15 - 4:19for the families that have to call
themselves the victims of gun violence. -
4:19 - 4:22I wanted to open those gates wide
for everyone in Georgia, -
4:22 - 4:24because that is our state,
and this is our nation, -
4:24 - 4:26and we all belong here.
-
4:26 - 4:29(Cheers)
-
4:29 - 4:32(Applause)
-
4:34 - 4:38But what I recognized
is that the first try wasn't enough. -
4:39 - 4:42And my question became:
How do I move forward? -
4:42 - 4:47How do I get beyond the bitterness
and the sadness and the lethargy -
4:47 - 4:51and watching an inordinate amount
of television as I eat ice cream? -
4:51 - 4:53(Laughter)
-
4:53 - 4:55What do I do next?
-
4:55 - 4:58And I'm going to do what I've always done.
-
4:58 - 5:01I'm going to move forward,
because going backwards isn't an option -
5:01 - 5:03and standing still is not enough.
-
5:04 - 5:08(Applause)
-
5:08 - 5:11You see, I began my race for governor
-
5:11 - 5:15by analyzing who I was
and what I wanted to be. -
5:15 - 5:18And there are three questions
I ask myself about everything I do, -
5:18 - 5:20whether it's running for office
or starting a business; -
5:20 - 5:23when I decided to start
the New Georgia Project -
5:23 - 5:24to register people to vote;
-
5:24 - 5:27or when I started the latest action,
Fair Fight Georgia. -
5:27 - 5:30No matter what I do,
I ask myself three questions: -
5:30 - 5:31What do I want?
-
5:31 - 5:33Why do I want it?
-
5:33 - 5:34And how do I get it?
-
5:35 - 5:38And in this case, I know what I want.
-
5:38 - 5:39I want change.
-
5:39 - 5:41That is what I want.
-
5:41 - 5:42But the question is:
-
5:43 - 5:45What change do I want to see?
-
5:46 - 5:48And I know that the questions
I have to ask myself are: -
5:48 - 5:51One, am I honest about the scope
of my ambition? -
5:52 - 5:55Because it's easy to figure out
that once you didn't get what you wanted, -
5:55 - 5:58then maybe you should
have set your sights a little lower, -
5:58 - 6:01but I'm here to tell you
to be aggressive about your ambition. -
6:01 - 6:04Do not allow setbacks to set you back.
-
6:04 - 6:07(Applause)
-
6:09 - 6:13Number two, let yourself
understand your mistakes. -
6:13 - 6:15But also understand their mistakes,
-
6:16 - 6:17because, as women in particular,
-
6:17 - 6:19we're taught that if something
doesn't work out, -
6:19 - 6:21it's probably our fault.
-
6:21 - 6:23And usually, there is something
we could do better, -
6:23 - 6:25but we've been told
not to investigate too much -
6:25 - 6:27what the other side could have done.
-
6:27 - 6:29And this isn't partisan -- it's people.
-
6:29 - 6:32We're too often told
that our mistakes are ours alone, -
6:32 - 6:34but victory is a shared benefit.
-
6:34 - 6:37And so what I tell you to do
is understand your mistakes, -
6:37 - 6:39but understand the mistakes of others.
-
6:40 - 6:42And be clearheaded about it.
-
6:42 - 6:45And be honest with yourself
and honest with those who support you. -
6:46 - 6:48But once you know what you want,
-
6:48 - 6:50understand why you want it.
-
6:51 - 6:54And even though it feels good,
revenge is not a good reason. -
6:54 - 6:56(Laughter)
-
6:56 - 6:58Instead, make sure you want it
-
6:58 - 7:02because there's something
not that you should do, -
7:02 - 7:04but something you must do.
-
7:04 - 7:07It has to be something
that doesn't allow you to sleep at night -
7:07 - 7:09unless you're dreaming about it;
-
7:09 - 7:12something that wakes you up in the morning
and gets you excited about it; -
7:12 - 7:14or something that makes you so angry,
-
7:14 - 7:17you know you have to do
something about it. -
7:17 - 7:19But know why you're doing it.
-
7:19 - 7:21And know why it must be done.
-
7:22 - 7:25You've listened to women
from across this world -
7:25 - 7:28talk about why things have to happen.
-
7:28 - 7:30But figure out what the "why" is for you,
-
7:30 - 7:33because jumping from
the "what" to the "do" -
7:33 - 7:35is meaningless if you don't know why.
-
7:35 - 7:38Because when it gets hard,
when it gets tough, -
7:38 - 7:40when your friends walk away from you,
-
7:40 - 7:43when your supporters forget you,
-
7:43 - 7:45when you don't win your first race --
-
7:45 - 7:48if you don't know why,
you can't try again. -
7:48 - 7:50So, first know what you want.
-
7:50 - 7:52Second, know why you want it,
-
7:52 - 7:55but third, know how
you're going to get it done. -
7:55 - 7:58I faced a few obstacles in this race.
-
7:58 - 8:00(Laughter)
-
8:00 - 8:01Just a few.
-
8:01 - 8:02But in the pursuit,
-
8:02 - 8:07I became the first black woman
to ever become the nominee for governor -
8:07 - 8:10in the history of the United States
of America for a major party. -
8:11 - 8:15(Cheers)
-
8:15 - 8:19(Applause)
-
8:19 - 8:21But more importantly, in this process,
-
8:21 - 8:26we turned out 1.2 million
African American voters in Georgia. -
8:26 - 8:27That is more voters
-
8:27 - 8:31than voted on the Democratic side
of the ticket in 2014. -
8:31 - 8:35(Applause)
-
8:35 - 8:38Our campaign tripled the number of Latinos
-
8:38 - 8:41who believed their voices mattered
in the state of Georgia. -
8:41 - 8:43We tripled the number of Asian Americans
-
8:43 - 8:45who stood up and said,
"This is our state, too." -
8:45 - 8:49Those are successes that tell me
how I can get it done. -
8:49 - 8:53But they also let me understand
the obstacles aren't insurmountable. -
8:53 - 8:54They're just a little high.
-
8:55 - 8:57But I also understand
-
8:57 - 9:00that there are three things
that always hold us hostage. -
9:01 - 9:03The first is finances.
-
9:04 - 9:06Now, you may have heard,
I'm in a little bit of debt. -
9:07 - 9:10If you didn't hear about it,
you did not go outside. -
9:10 - 9:11(Laughter)
-
9:12 - 9:15And finances are something
that holds us back so often, -
9:15 - 9:18our dreams are bounded
by how much we have in resources. -
9:19 - 9:20But we hear again and again
-
9:20 - 9:24the stories of those who overcome
those resource challenges. -
9:25 - 9:28But you can't overcome
something you don't talk about. -
9:28 - 9:31And that's why I didn't allow them
to debt-shame me in my campaign. -
9:32 - 9:36I didn't allow anyone to tell me
that my lack of opportunity -
9:36 - 9:38was a reason to disqualify
me from running. -
9:38 - 9:41And believe me, people tried
to tell me I shouldn't run. -
9:41 - 9:43Friends told me not to run.
-
9:43 - 9:45Allies told me not to run.
-
9:45 - 9:48"USA Today" mentioned
maybe I shouldn't run. -
9:48 - 9:49(Laughter)
-
9:49 - 9:50But no matter who it was,
-
9:50 - 9:55I understood that finances are often
a reason we don't let ourselves dream. -
9:56 - 9:59I can't say that you will always
overcome those obstacles, -
9:59 - 10:02but I will tell you,
you will be damned if you do not try. -
10:02 - 10:08(Applause)
-
10:08 - 10:09The second is fear.
-
10:10 - 10:11And fear is real.
-
10:11 - 10:13It is paralyzing.
-
10:13 - 10:14It is terrifying.
-
10:14 - 10:16But it can also be energizing,
-
10:17 - 10:19because once you know
what you're afraid of, -
10:19 - 10:21you can figure out how to get around it.
-
10:21 - 10:23And the third is fatigue.
-
10:24 - 10:27Sometimes you just get tired of trying.
-
10:27 - 10:31You get tired of reading
about processes and politics -
10:31 - 10:34and the things that stop you
from getting where you want to be. -
10:35 - 10:39Sometimes, fatigue means that we accept
position instead of power. -
10:39 - 10:42We let someone give us a title
as a consolation prize, -
10:42 - 10:46rather than realizing we know what we want
and we're going to get it, -
10:46 - 10:47even if we're tired.
-
10:47 - 10:49That's why God created naps.
-
10:49 - 10:51(Laughter)
-
10:51 - 10:54But we also learn in those moments
-
10:54 - 10:59that fatigue is an opportunity
to evaluate how much we want it. -
11:00 - 11:02Because if you are beaten down,
-
11:02 - 11:05if you have worked as hard as you can,
-
11:05 - 11:08if you have done everything
you said you should, -
11:08 - 11:09and it still doesn't work out,
-
11:09 - 11:12fatigue can sap you of your energy.
-
11:13 - 11:15But that's why you go back
to the "why" of it. -
11:16 - 11:19Because I know we have to have women
who speak for the voiceless. -
11:20 - 11:22I know we have to have people
of good conscience -
11:23 - 11:24who stand up against oppression.
-
11:25 - 11:27I know we have to have people
-
11:27 - 11:30who understand that social justice
belongs to us all. -
11:30 - 11:32And that wakes me up every morning,
-
11:32 - 11:34and that makes me fight even harder.
-
11:35 - 11:39Because I am moving forward,
knowing what is in my past. -
11:39 - 11:41I know the obstacles they have for me.
-
11:41 - 11:43I know what they're going to do,
-
11:43 - 11:47and I'm fairly certain they're energizing
and creating new obstacles now. -
11:47 - 11:49But they've got four years
to figure it out. -
11:50 - 11:51(Laughter)
-
11:51 - 11:56(Applause)
-
11:56 - 11:57Maybe two.
-
11:58 - 12:00(Cheers)
-
12:00 - 12:03(Applause)
-
12:03 - 12:04But here's my point:
-
12:05 - 12:08I know what I want, and that is justice.
-
12:08 - 12:09I know why I want it,
-
12:09 - 12:13because poverty is immoral,
and it is a stain on our nation. -
12:13 - 12:15And I know how I'm going to get it:
-
12:15 - 12:17by moving forward every single day.
-
12:17 - 12:18Thank you so much.
-
12:18 - 12:21(Cheers)
-
12:21 - 12:25(Applause)
- Title:
- 3 questions to ask yourself about everything you do
- Speaker:
- Stacey Abrams
- Description:
-
How you respond after setbacks is what defines your character. Stacey Abrams was the first black woman in the history of the United States to be nominated by a major party for governor -- she lost that hotly contested race, but as she says: the only choice is to move forward. In an electrifying talk, she shares the lessons she learned from her campaign for governor of Georgia, some advice on how to change the world -- and a few hints at her next steps. "Be aggressive about your ambition," Abrams says.
- Video Language:
- English
- Team:
- closed TED
- Project:
- TEDTalks
- Duration:
- 12:38
Erin Gregory edited English subtitles for 3 questions to ask yourself about everything you do | ||
Brian Greene edited English subtitles for 3 questions to ask yourself about everything you do | ||
Brian Greene edited English subtitles for 3 questions to ask yourself about everything you do | ||
Brian Greene edited English subtitles for 3 questions to ask yourself about everything you do | ||
Brian Greene edited English subtitles for 3 questions to ask yourself about everything you do | ||
Brian Greene edited English subtitles for 3 questions to ask yourself about everything you do | ||
Brian Greene approved English subtitles for 3 questions to ask yourself about everything you do | ||
Brian Greene edited English subtitles for 3 questions to ask yourself about everything you do |