We are all bullies | Aida Mwizerwa | TEDxYouth@BrookhouseSchool

This talk was given at a local TEDx event, produced independently of the TED Conferences.
Her talk is entitled ‘bullying’. She feels that this topic is a problem
that is ordinarily ignored. She is passionate about the
abused in society and hopes that through her talk she will awaken in us the essence of compassion and fair treatment of our fellow man. She shares her real life experience on how she overcame bullying to be at her present secure juncture in life.

Are you a bully?

Or have you ever been bullied?

Well, the answer is most likely, "Yes."

You see, there are
so many different ways of bullying people

that we just don't notice,

like your boss at work,
feeding you so much work,

not hearing you out,

or, at school,

your friends making under-breath
comments or laughing at you;

or on the streets,
because you don't appeal to them.

Let me give you a simple example.

I remember this was in middle school.

When I would enter the classroom,

some of my classmates would sit
at the corner of the room

and speak about me and point at me.

And one of my teachers
noticed this, and she told me:

"You are actually bullying these people
by the way you are carrying yourself."

What I mean is I was too confident,
actually overconfident.

I answered all the questions

and I thought I knew everything.

And when she told me that,
I said: "it's not possible

to bully someone by the way
you carry yourself around."

But then, I had
my own experience of bullying

So, as the years past,

in my high school life

I wanted to fit in,
I wanted to fit in a social group.

so I then made friends with one
of the most popular group in my year group

which was a deadly mistake.

Everything went on well.

I thought I had made
true and quality friends,

and then I came across something
that was very shocking.

These people were saying things
about me that were untrue,

they were saying stories
that weren't real,

they dirtified my name.

I then entered the world
of darkness, pain.

I hated myself, I wanted to hide,
I wanted to change myself

or not face these people every day.

I was angry, very angry.

You see, this personal experience
is another example of bullying,

but this time I run conscious bullying.

I then had a turning point,

this is when I went for
an exchange program to Europe;

different school,
different country, different people.

These people treated me for who I was,

they liked me for who I was.

And I then realized that everything
these friends of mine said about me

were just lies as I had chosen to believe,

and I started gaining connection
with myself again.

You see, there are so many different ways
that we bully people.

But I am just here to tell you:

could there or is there a way

that we could change the way
we behaved towards other people?

If we hurt them, let's take
that realization and apologize,

or make an effort to make up for it.

I am not perfect myself,
I am still working on it,

but the way you look at people
on the streets,

the way you talk to someone, or the way
you order something to a waiter [counts].

Think of all these, these are ways
that bully other people,

you don't know how they feel
when you do that to them.

Now, world, imagine.

Imagine a world where the strong
stand with the weak,

where we are united,

where we don't see such behaviors
and turn away and say:

"No, I won't interfere with this,

because it's not my fault,
it's not my problem,

so it's OK."

Let's stop bullying,
let's make a change, people.

Let's think of what we do to other people,

or how we make other people feel.

Let's take this into consideration,

and please, ladies and gentlemen,
let's stop bullying.

Thank you.

(Applause)