The traumatizing gift: a global childhood | Saeko Mizuta | TEDxFulbrightTokyo
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0:25 - 0:27Do you know of any children
-
0:27 - 0:30who can speak English
and another language fluently? -
0:31 - 0:36These children may have moved
with their families -
0:36 - 0:38from or to another country.
-
0:38 - 0:41Or their parents
may be an international couple. -
0:42 - 0:46These children grow up with exposure
to multiple languages and cultures -
0:46 - 0:47at the same time.
-
0:48 - 0:51And while this kind of childhood
is getting very common, -
0:52 - 0:55if you actually ask one of these children,
-
0:55 - 0:58"Hey, are you enjoying the experience?"
-
0:58 - 0:59he or she might tell you,
-
0:59 - 1:03"No, it's actually very tough,
and I'm struggling. -
1:04 - 1:06And my parents are struggling with me."
-
1:07 - 1:10Twenty years ago,
I was one of these children, -
1:10 - 1:14and as I was being back and forth
between the United States and Japan, -
1:14 - 1:19I have to tell you
that, back then, I hated my life. -
1:19 - 1:22Each move was traumatizing,
-
1:22 - 1:26and I fell way, way behind academically.
-
1:27 - 1:30But today, now that I'm an adult,
-
1:30 - 1:35the same experiences have become
a gift that helps me in many ways. -
1:37 - 1:43So, what is it that makes
an international childhood so hard? -
1:43 - 1:47My family gave me their full support
throughout the journey, -
1:47 - 1:50and I was very lucky to have them.
-
1:50 - 1:52But now that I reflect on it,
-
1:52 - 1:55I kind of think that it was way too hard
-
1:55 - 1:56for all of us.
-
1:56 - 1:59So, as soon as I got
to Harvard Business School -
1:59 - 2:00as a Fulbright scholar,
-
2:00 - 2:04I started working on an idea
that later became my startup. -
2:04 - 2:09It's an educational service
that supports international children -
2:09 - 2:14through their unique challenges,
both academic and psychological. -
2:14 - 2:19So what is it that makes
an international childhood so hard, -
2:19 - 2:21but later, rewarding?
-
2:21 - 2:24The first thing is language.
-
2:24 - 2:26Do you know how they say that,
-
2:26 - 2:29"Oh, young children,
they can pick up a language so quickly. -
2:29 - 2:32He or she will be speaking in no time."
-
2:32 - 2:33You've heard that before?
-
2:33 - 2:38Yeah, so that's true if the question is:
-
2:38 - 2:41"Can they communicate in that language?"
-
2:42 - 2:44But if the question is:
-
2:44 - 2:48"Can they think and learn
in that language?" -
2:48 - 2:52the answer is that it actually
takes a lot longer. -
2:52 - 2:57Research tells us that it can take
five to seven years for a person -
2:57 - 3:00to reach this level of proficiency.
-
3:00 - 3:01Now, one of our students,
-
3:01 - 3:04he's been in an English
environment for six years. -
3:04 - 3:06His English is so fluent,
-
3:06 - 3:08you won't believe
this is not his native tongue. -
3:08 - 3:12And he has straight A's
in all of his English subjects. -
3:12 - 3:15But when it comes to math and physics,
-
3:15 - 3:18he still prefers
that we teach him in Japanese. -
3:19 - 3:22According to him,
"Oh, it's just faster that way. -
3:22 - 3:27You know, it's easier to learn
these, like, hard conceptual ideas. -
3:27 - 3:30They're easier to manipulate in my head
-
3:30 - 3:32when they are in Japanese."
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3:33 - 3:35So, in short, it's easier to think.
-
3:36 - 3:40So if you are a child
learning in a language -
3:40 - 3:43that you are not completely
comfortable with yet, -
3:43 - 3:47that can limit your cognition,
your ability to learn. -
3:47 - 3:52So, for any multilingual
student growing up, -
3:52 - 3:55it's essential that they catch up
with the school language -
3:55 - 3:57as fast as possible
-
3:57 - 4:00so that they can learn
what they should be learning -
4:00 - 4:02at that grade level.
-
4:02 - 4:07Meantime, they also need to maintain
their native tongue at the grade level, -
4:07 - 4:09and that is very hard.
-
4:10 - 4:13It's not something
that just happens on its own either. -
4:13 - 4:17It requires commitment
and planning and investment, -
4:17 - 4:21not just from the child,
but also from the family. -
4:23 - 4:27A child going through this stage
needs help, deserves help. -
4:27 - 4:30And it's either the family provides it,
-
4:30 - 4:33or professionals can help them provide it.
-
4:35 - 4:36And I remember
-
4:36 - 4:39that going through the stage,
it was very confusing. -
4:39 - 4:42It almost felt as if
that it was a personal problem. -
4:42 - 4:45Like, "Maybe I'm not smart enough
-
4:45 - 4:48because I'm spending so much time working,
-
4:48 - 4:50but I'm not good enough in either."
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4:53 - 4:55Language barriers can also be very hard
-
4:55 - 4:57on a child's social life
at school as well. -
4:57 - 5:01Do you ever feel like
there are aspects of your personality -
5:01 - 5:05that you can't really fully express
in your second language? -
5:05 - 5:08You know, maybe you can't be as funny,
-
5:08 - 5:10or seem as intelligent,
-
5:10 - 5:13or be as interesting as you really are
-
5:13 - 5:15because language limits you.
-
5:16 - 5:20Now, imagine you are a teenager,
and you need to do that five days a week. -
5:20 - 5:21Yikes!
-
5:22 - 5:25So, learning a language
is a long and hard journey. -
5:27 - 5:30The gift, of course, is access.
-
5:30 - 5:33Once you've mastered two languages,
-
5:33 - 5:36you can go to school or work
in two different countries. -
5:36 - 5:41You can access information
and knowledge created in two languages. -
5:41 - 5:47And you can build relationships
with two very different groups of people. -
5:47 - 5:51There's so much richness
in the bilingual world. -
5:51 - 5:54It's almost like you're living
two lives at the same time. -
5:56 - 5:59The second challenge is culture.
-
5:59 - 6:03So one day, a little girl in Michigan
walks into her classroom in the morning, -
6:03 - 6:07and her teacher welcomes her
with a big warm hug, -
6:07 - 6:09just like any other morning.
-
6:09 - 6:12The next week, she moves to Japan,
-
6:12 - 6:14where hugging is not really a thing,
-
6:14 - 6:17and we express affection
through different means. -
6:17 - 6:21After one big, awkward social attempt,
-
6:21 - 6:25she notices that you can't really
hug people in Japan -
6:25 - 6:28without making them feel
completely uncomfortable -
6:28 - 6:33and also winning the title
of "complete social weirdo." -
6:33 - 6:34(Laughter)
-
6:34 - 6:36So she stops hugging people,
-
6:36 - 6:38but knowing isn't feeling.
-
6:38 - 6:41She still wants to hug people,
and she misses it. -
6:41 - 6:46But she knows that she needs
to follow the cultural norm -
6:46 - 6:50in order to be accepted
as a decent member of the community, -
6:50 - 6:54and failure to do so would mean
that she would be the outcast -
6:54 - 6:57who can't follow the rules.
-
6:57 - 7:01And because culture is not
just about the foods we eat -
7:01 - 7:03and the holidays we celebrate,
-
7:03 - 7:05but it's this all-encompassing
thought process -
7:05 - 7:08that highlights different
aspects of the world -
7:08 - 7:12and attributes different meaning
to these aspects, -
7:12 - 7:16and hence, creates completely
different experiences -
7:16 - 7:17from the same world.
-
7:17 - 7:22This kind of difference can exist
in anything and everything -
7:22 - 7:25from, let's say,
how to be popular at school, -
7:25 - 7:28to how to sound credible
at a job interview, -
7:28 - 7:32all the way up to how to tell
somebody that you like them, -
7:32 - 7:37and how you determine the relationship
after a couple of dates with your crush. -
7:38 - 7:42And because there is no convenient
textbook for all these cultural norms, -
7:42 - 7:45you basically need to learn
through trying and making -
7:45 - 7:49lots and lots of embarrassing mistakes.
-
7:51 - 7:53The pain is worsened
-
7:53 - 7:55because you start to take it personally.
-
7:55 - 7:57You start to think, at one point,
-
7:57 - 8:00"Hey, oh, I need to watch out
for my behavior. -
8:00 - 8:04I need to constantly check
if I'm not being weird," -
8:04 - 8:06just to be accepted.
-
8:08 - 8:12The gift in being brought up
in two cultures -
8:12 - 8:16is this revelation that cultural norms
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8:17 - 8:19are a social construct.
-
8:19 - 8:22You know, people can believe
in wildly different things -
8:22 - 8:25based on where they were born
or how they were brought up. -
8:25 - 8:29And what seems to be common sense
or even the truth in one culture -
8:29 - 8:32may not be that way somewhere else.
-
8:33 - 8:37And although each culture
is this complete, beautiful, -
8:37 - 8:40and functional and different
approach to life, -
8:41 - 8:44none of them is universal truth.
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8:44 - 8:47Knowing this can give you two freedoms.
-
8:47 - 8:51The first freedom is to choose
which rules you want to follow -
8:51 - 8:53at important junctions of your life.
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8:54 - 8:56My choice to go to Harvard Business School
-
8:56 - 8:58and become a female entrepreneur
-
8:58 - 9:03does not necessarily fit
the typical female gender role in Japan. -
9:04 - 9:08But I can choose
to feel feminine if I want to -
9:08 - 9:12because I know that femininity
can mean different things -
9:12 - 9:13in different places.
-
9:14 - 9:16The second freedom is awareness.
-
9:16 - 9:20The tricky thing about culture
is that when you are part of a culture, -
9:20 - 9:22it's very hard to be aware of it.
-
9:22 - 9:23You know, they say
-
9:23 - 9:26that it's the air we breathe
and the water we swim in, -
9:26 - 9:31but once you are fully immersed
in two or more cultures, -
9:31 - 9:35the contrast suddenly
makes it easier for you -
9:35 - 9:38to become aware
of how they are influencing you. -
9:39 - 9:42And if you are more aware
-
9:42 - 9:45of the cultural biases
and the stereotypes we have, -
9:45 - 9:47that makes you so much better
-
9:47 - 9:51at connecting with somebody
from a different culture. -
9:51 - 9:55You know, in today's world
of divide and borders, -
9:55 - 9:59we need more people who are good at this.
-
10:01 - 10:04The final component is identity.
-
10:05 - 10:09An American girl, who had been living
in Shanghai for eight years, -
10:09 - 10:11moves back to DC.
-
10:11 - 10:14And her new friends there
jokingly tell her, -
10:14 - 10:17"Ah, go back to China
where you came from." -
10:17 - 10:20That day, later on, she told me,
-
10:20 - 10:23"Well, I don't belong
there either, you know? -
10:23 - 10:25It looks like I don't belong
anywhere now." -
10:26 - 10:32And this sense of being uprooted
and rootless can really eat away at you. -
10:33 - 10:35I admit that, even to this day,
-
10:35 - 10:38I sometimes struggle with the question:
-
10:38 - 10:42"Wait, who am I really,
and where do I belong?" -
10:42 - 10:45because I feel a deep
connection with Japan, -
10:45 - 10:48and I feel a deep connection with the US,
-
10:48 - 10:52but I don't fully belong in either.
-
10:52 - 10:53I'm a mixture.
-
10:54 - 10:59And being that makes me
a minority in Japan, where I am from. -
11:00 - 11:03And that can be very hard,
especially for a child -
11:03 - 11:06because you want to be able
to clearly define who you are -
11:06 - 11:10and have this safe place in the world
where you can just be yourself, -
11:10 - 11:12and be accepted,
-
11:12 - 11:15and not have to try so hard all the time.
-
11:16 - 11:19The gift in all this confusion
-
11:20 - 11:25is that the confusion
is actually an open invitation -
11:26 - 11:31for us to find a time and place
where we can feel belonging. -
11:32 - 11:36To define what are
the meaningful relationships -
11:37 - 11:39that help you belong in a space,
-
11:39 - 11:41what is it that we can do
-
11:41 - 11:46to give our rather complicated lives
purpose and meaning? -
11:47 - 11:50Sometimes, all it takes for you
to feel like "Ah, I belong here" -
11:50 - 11:53is a couple of really close friends,
-
11:53 - 11:57friends that just get you,
you know, both sides of you. -
11:57 - 12:01Sometimes, it's a mission
or a vision you want to pursue. -
12:01 - 12:04It's something that you want
to give back to that environment -
12:04 - 12:06that connects you to that place.
-
12:07 - 12:11And because concepts
like identity and nationality -
12:11 - 12:16are actually a lot not as concrete
and as definite as you would think, -
12:16 - 12:20there is space for reinterpretation.
-
12:20 - 12:22There is plasticity
-
12:22 - 12:28for you to recreate a sense of belonging
that you could have once lost. -
12:29 - 12:34So the invitation in this identity crisis
-
12:34 - 12:39is an invitation to choose
who you want to be -
12:39 - 12:42and what you want
to make out of your life. -
12:43 - 12:47So if there are any of these
international children around you, -
12:47 - 12:50I ask you today, please be kind to them.
-
12:51 - 12:53Just because they can't speak
intelligently yet, -
12:53 - 12:55don't assume they're not intelligent.
-
12:56 - 12:58Please try not to judge them,
-
12:58 - 13:00to see them through stereotypes,
to tokenize them. -
13:01 - 13:04Instead, please help me encourage them,
-
13:04 - 13:07to tell them to hang in there,
-
13:07 - 13:08to aim higher.
-
13:08 - 13:11And join me in embracing these children
-
13:11 - 13:14and celebrating the potential they have
-
13:14 - 13:17and bringing us so much closer together.
-
13:18 - 13:23And if you are one of these children,
today, oh my God, I have to tell you -
13:23 - 13:28that you are doing something
that's extremely hard for anyone. -
13:28 - 13:30You are not alone.
-
13:30 - 13:31You deserve help.
-
13:31 - 13:35And if you want it,
don't be shy to ask for it. -
13:35 - 13:39The world is counting on you
to make it through. -
13:40 - 13:41Thank you.
-
13:41 - 13:44(Applause)
- Title:
- The traumatizing gift: a global childhood | Saeko Mizuta | TEDxFulbrightTokyo
- Description:
-
Saeko Mizuta grew up in two worlds - Japan and the US - and based on her own experience of a multilingual and multicultural childhood, she founded TCK Workshop, an education company that supports children through the social, cultural, and academic challenges involved in international relocation.
This talk is her message to third-culture kids and their parents.This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at https://www.ted.com/tedx
- Video Language:
- English
- Team:
- closed TED
- Project:
- TEDxTalks
- Duration:
- 13:51
Riaki Ponist edited English subtitles for The traumatizing gift: a global childhood | Saeko Mizuta | TEDxFulbrightTokyo | ||
Riaki Ponist edited English subtitles for The traumatizing gift: a global childhood | Saeko Mizuta | TEDxFulbrightTokyo | ||
Riaki Ponist edited English subtitles for The traumatizing gift: a global childhood | Saeko Mizuta | TEDxFulbrightTokyo | ||
Riaki Ponist approved English subtitles for The traumatizing gift: a global childhood | Saeko Mizuta | TEDxFulbrightTokyo | ||
Riaki Ponist edited English subtitles for The traumatizing gift: a global childhood | Saeko Mizuta | TEDxFulbrightTokyo | ||
David DeRuwe accepted English subtitles for The traumatizing gift: a global childhood | Saeko Mizuta | TEDxFulbrightTokyo | ||
David DeRuwe edited English subtitles for The traumatizing gift: a global childhood | Saeko Mizuta | TEDxFulbrightTokyo | ||
David DeRuwe edited English subtitles for The traumatizing gift: a global childhood | Saeko Mizuta | TEDxFulbrightTokyo |