黃秋生系列之《麦兜故事》[粵語] - My Life as McDull

主演: 李晋纬 / 林海峰 / 吴君如 / 黄秋生 / Buxx Banner

麦兜，一个长得不帅，头脑平平的小朋友。和妈妈麦太太，在香港一个叫大角咀的地方过着并不富裕却很快乐的生活。从麦兜带着妈妈的期望来到世界那一刻开始，他的脑海中一直飘满七彩幻想的泡泡。那个蓝天白云，椰林树影，水清沙白的童年的马尔代夫，那充满诱惑的圣诞火鸡的浓香，还有那个关于“抢包山”的奥运金牌的梦想，让麦兜平凡着他的平凡，却幸福着他的幸福。麦兜，和春田花花幼儿园的小朋友们一起，陪着我们，简单的在爱的呵护下慢慢长大。

When Mrs. McBing was in labour
a plastic basin appeared in the sky.

It flew along Garden Street, turned left,
and stopped at the Beefball King.

Correction:

First it arrived at the Market Building, lingered a bit...

Correction:

It flew over the railway, turned right,
and headed directly for the Bazaar.

It flew on,

at last coming into the maternity ward.

There, on the right-hand side of Mrs. McBing,

Correction:
left-hand side,

the basin idled.

Mrs. McBing, convinced that this was a miracle,

made a wish while thinking of her
soon-to-be-born son.

Please make him a clever and smart boy!

The basin didn't seem to hear.

So Mrs. McBing adjusted her wish:

Or make him a smart businessman?

Or maybe..

make him really handsome.
Like Chow Yun Fat or Tony Leung!

The basin didn't respond.

Mrs. McBing in a panic made a final adjustment:

Her boy needed not be smart or handsome
as long as luck was with him.

It's nice to be self-dependant, but luck is still essential.

Of course Chow and Leung are lucky guys,
but then they are smart too...

Finally, the basin dropped to the floor.

Mrs. McBing, believing her wish granted,
thought it was magnificent.

But what had the basin granted her?

A smart boy? A lucky boy?

Or a Chow look-alike?

To commemorate this, Mrs. McBing decided
to name her son "McNificient".

No, wait. It's better to be humble.
I'll name him "McDull".

Dear all,
I am the boy not to be McNificient.

I'm McDull.

"My School"

Oh my, your calves have grown huge.

I've been desperately looking for a school.

Why not try the one at the Emporium?

The Spring Flower Kindergarten.

Yeah! The one at the junction, right next
to Silver City Food Mall.

The Spring Flower Kindergarten

Only ten minutes walk from
the MTR Station.

Good environment with native teachers for English class!

Native teachers for English class?

Yeah!

Spring Flower offers native teachers!

"We are all happy children."

"We sing everyday."

"We learn as we grow."

"We are the flowers of spring!"

See the piggish kid in a rabbit outfit who
doesn't look the least like Chow or Leung?

That's me, McDull.

This is my kindergarten.

The headmaster's from the countryside so he speaks with a thick accent.

For many years I had difficulty understanding him.

- Start.
- Tart.

- Good morning.
- Duck dumpling.

- The 97 Rule
- The 97 Rule

shall be replaced by the 98 Rule!

Good. Children,

we have an important issue this morning:

Have you handed in the class dosser?

Yes.

Great, now move on to class.

You might conclude that this is a shabby Kindergarden.

But for me and my mates

this is a beautiful paradise.

Then there's Miss Chan, who adores us
in her absent-minded way.

She's also a Faye Wong wannabe.

Actually, Kelly Chan would do.

Time for roll call.

- McMug.
- Present.

- Fai.
- Present.

- Goosie.
- Present.

- Darby.
- Present.

- May.
- Present.

- June.
- Present.

- May.
- Present.

- McMug.
- Present.

May.

Miss Chan, I've been called twice already.

Oops.

Good morning, sir.

Good day, sir.

Back to roll call.

- Fai.
- Present.

- Darby.
- Present.

- May.
- Present.

- McMug.
- Present.

- Goosie.
- Present.

Have I missed anyone?

McDull.

I don't know why, but I can't shake
the feeling someone's calling me.

It's not that I'm absent minded.

I was contemplating something very academic:

How does this universe work?

I mean, I ate six oranges one morning

and my stomach wouldn't stettle.

Then I ate three bananas this morning.
Again, my stomach wouldn't stettle.

It kept bothering me!

How are these things related?

There are so many things I don't understand,
but I'm not afraid.

One day, when I finish kindergarten,
I shall move up and get my degree.

When I graduate from university, I know I'll
finally understand everything.

And then, I'll buy my mother a house.

Our headmaster runs a lunch-stand which
we frequent after class.

- Fishball noodles, please.
- No noodle left.

- Fishball rice noodles, then.
- No fishball left.

- Chicken wing noodles, then.
- No noodle left.

- How about Fishball congee?
- No fishball left.

Is there nothing left?

- How about Beef noodles?
- No noodle left.

Again?

- Fried chicken wing with fishballs.
- No fishball left.

Listen, fishball and noodle are both unavailable.

You can't combine them with other things.

Can't combine them?

- A bowl of fishball's then.
- No fishball left.

- A bowl of noodles?
- No noodle left.

By now you can probably tell how smart I am.

Nothing ever worried me, everything was fine.

No fishballs left? Then get some noodles.

Shoot it, Dull!

Watching myself grow and grow,
everyday, I feel full of strength.

The world is beautiful.

There is a song Miss Chan loves

which I always wanted to learn
but it just came out different.

Let's do
"All Things Bright and Beautiful".

Yes, all are fine.

All things on earth, they are fine.

"My Mother"

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7

No pain, no gain.

Monday till Sunday. No pain, no gain.

The middle-aged swine is Mrs. McBing,

my mother, a brilliant woman.

Carrying the world!

Yes, she is really something.

She works in insurance,
real estate and trading.

At the height of IT,
she even sets up her cooking site.

"www.MrsMcBing.com"

Offering brilliant dishes.

Welcome to "Mrs. Mc Can Cook".

Today we're doing a simple dish, "Paper Chicken".

Kids at home will love it.

The ingredient: a chicken bun.

Slowly tear the paper away from the bun.

Now we have the bun paper.

Turn the paper over like this...

Voila! Simple, isn't it?

Thank you, everyone!

How times flown since last episode!

Now we shall do a "Paper Bun".

The only ingredient is a piece of paper.

Then do it like this...

and we have a Paper Bun.

Isn't this a lovely bun?

A novelty today for everyone:

"Chicken Bun Paper Bunning a Paper Bun".

First, unwrap the paper from the chicken.

Now we have paper and chicken.

Use the bun paper to wrap
the chicken like this.

And then wrap it like this...

The delicious "Chicken Bun Paper Bunning a Paper Bun"!

Such a simple dish!

See if the chicken's good!

Kids are bound to love today's dish.

"Bunning a Chicken Bun Paper
Bunning the Paper Chicken."

It just takes a little work:

Use the chicken bun to bun

the chicken bun.

Then use the chicken bun paper to

bun and bun paper

bun, bun, paper, bun...

paper, chicken, bun, bun, chicken...

But my mother has a tender side.

Every night, she tells me a story before sleep.

Once upon a time, a boy lied. One day...

he died.

Once upon a time, a boy studied hard.

He grew up and got rich.

Once upon a time, a boy was naughty.
One day...

he twisted his ankle.

Mother, l want to sleep.

Once upon a time, a boy slept a lot.
Next day...

he died.

That is my mother's direct approach.

Her love for me is direct,
her expectation of me is direct.

For her it's always no pain, no gain.

"Bad luck"

"Below average luck"

"Good luck"

But there are things that simply cannot be forced.

Days come and go talking about
being a Chow look-alike.

Can she still think that's going to happen?

And when it comes to luck, the lottery
numbers that mother always draws

fail even to bring her one cent.

As for being smart, I did try hard,

but then, I still have dreams.

"My Ideal World"

Maldives, a world outside our world.

The sky blue, clouds soft and white,
the trees tall and water bright.

The colourful world of the tropical sea.

The primitive ocean of primitive energy.

Experience a world that
knows no boundaries!

Enjoy a trip to your ideal world.

Brilliant Touring Agency,
license no. 350999

Mother, you know where Maldives are?

Far.

How far?

You need to fly there.

Mother will you take me there?

One day when I am rich.

When will you get rich?

Soon...

in my dreams!

Good morning, sir!

Good day, sir!

Where is your favourite place?

My favourite place is Japan.

They have Disneyland and Hello Kitty Land.

I bought my hairclip there.

My favourite place is Canada.

My grandma and uncles live there.

My favourite place is Bangkok.

They have water sports and shark's fin soup.

My favourite place is...

what's-it's-name.

They have Fun World and a Food Mall.

Their chicken rice makes you stuffed.

Ah, it's Silver City Centre.

They serve huge bowls of rice.

As for the place I most want to go, wow!

There, the sky is blue, clouds fluffy
and white , the trees tall...

It is a world outside our world.

Rise and shine, kiddo.

Oh? Mother...

Take some medicine and he'll be fine.

What if he's alergic to the medicine?

He won't be.

Are you sure?

Yes! I'll give him a shot.

A shot?

He's scared of shots.

Is he scared of dying?

Come on now, take the medicine.

I don't want medicine, Mother.

Please mother, no.

I don't want the strawberry stuff.

You won't get well without the medicine.

How about this, we'll go to
the Maldives once you get well.

Really?

Has mother ever lied before?

Now, drink up.

Yes, the Maldives!

Maldives!

Mother, when will we go?

I will book the ticket once you get well.

Come on, drink up!

Look, mother!

Mother, l am well!

I've taken all the medicine.

You've also had everything
edible in the house.

See? The whole bottle was filled

and I gulped it down bit by bit.

I did it!

I am a good boy!

Now I am not sick!

Mother.

What?

When are we going to the Maldives?

The Maldives?

You said we would go once I get well.

The Maldives, where the trees
are tall and water bright.

The world outside our world!

Those words have flare.

I am happy for you.

Mother, you promised we'd go to
the Maldives once I got well.

I meant once I get rich.

No, that wasn't what you meant.

You said we'd go once I get well.

You promised!

Now stop crying.

We will go to the Maldives.

- Really?
- Yes.

When?

Once I get rich.

But you are rich.

Sure, sure, I am rich.
We will go next week, ok?

Bravo!

Total: $3584.32 HKD (EUR 335)

This is McDull.

Hey, I'm leaving tomorrow.

Yes. Is that right?

The food on board is horrible? So be it!

We could bring our own food, right?

Still chatting away? You need to pack.

Tell them I'm going to the Maldives tomorrow.

Where the trees are tall and water bright,

Hey, you!

Coming!

I need to pack now. Talk to you later.

Bye bye!

Mother, do I need to bring my birth certificate?

I guess so.

And school report?

We don't need that.

Wow, I'm saved!

I found it!

I found my birth certificate!

Mother, you keep it and don't
lose it or else we're stuck.

Go in the morning, return at night.

Mother said that'd make things efficent.

Thus the most beautiful day in my
childhood experience came to pass.

Do you think paper is a
good wrapper for chicken?

Maybe. If only for one small piece.

Goodnight, mother!

The Hong Kong windsurfing athlete San San Li

has just won the first gold medal in Hong Kong history!

San San, when confirming her win,
told reporters that her result

helps prove that Hong Kong athletes are horrible.

Excuse me, make that "honourable".

Hong Kong athletes are honourable athletes.

End of special report.

Then mother seemed inspired.

Handsome, lucky, smart. So much for those plans.

Now how about something physical?

"Looking for Logan"

So, while one dream lingers another one begins.

"aka: How Does a Legs Calf Become a Calf?"

It's about the Calf!

I know it is not easy.

I know it is not easy to find Logan.

I know it is not easy to get him to take me in.

No matter how difficult it is

Logan will be my master!

I shall get an Olympic medal!

Logan!

You taught San San, now you will teach me!

When I receive my Olympic medal
I'll tell the world:

HK athletes are honourable athletes!

I finally made it to Cheung Chau.

I must kiss this holy land!

Kiddo, this is Lamma Island.

Lamma Island? Where Chow Yun Fat grew up.

I came into hiding on this island to
get away from the attention.

So many kids came to seek me
out so I came to live here.

You want me to be your master?

Forget it!

You city kids are all spoiled.

Good for nothing!

You want to get an Olympic medal too?

Dream on!

Kiddo, look.

This calf. So thick, so strong, and so muscular!

With steely veins running down it.

Hair sticking out like wire, and those tough toenails!

How many hills must it travel, how many seas must it pass,

how much pain must it bear, before a calf becomes a calf?

I shall have a calf like this!

Master!

Can I take a pee?

Whenever I sing this song, I need to pee.

Taking a pee first doesn't help.

I must sing it now.

With this song, l hope Logan will think better of me.

Logan will be my master!

The song goes like this:

"Big bun, have two more."

"Forget about indigestion."

"Big bun, have two more."

"Forget about indigestion."

"Big bun, have two more."

"Forget about indigestion."

"Eat the bun, strengthen my calves."

"Respect my mother."

"Eat the bun, toughen my calves"

"Serve my country."

"Big bun, have two more."

"Forget about indigestion."

"Big bun, have two more."

"Forget about indigestion."

Chau looked strange after the song.

I must grab my chance.

Master! Please be my master!

Or I'll kneel here forever!

Move it.

Thank you, master!

No, help me move it.

My calf has gone numb!

I tell mother what happened today.

She doesn't say a word but
starts to defrost a chicken.

At dinner mother offers three glasses of wine,

oranges, and the chicken to our ancestors.

Mother then tells me to kneel down.

She mumbles something while we pay
our respect to our ancestors.

As mother pours the wine on the floor
she says in her solemn, tender voice:

Be good, learn with the master
and honour our ancestors.

In honour of my new master,
mother throws a banquet.

As I am the last disciple of the master
everyone in Cheung Chau comes.

San San's lover thinks I have a nice thick back.

San San was in training and couldn't come.

All my mates came too.

Bringing school reports,
medals and big buns.

They hope Logan will take them in also.

After soup, the ceremony begins.

Mother pours a cup of tea and
I offer it to the master.

After all the hardship of looking for Logan

I can now windsurf together with San San!

I offer the tea to Logan, he drinks the
tea and becomes my master.

All the guests look happy.

And everyone from Cheung Chau applauds.

Thank you for honouring me!

In my life, I have two skills that I'm proud of.

One is windsurfing that I have passed onto San San.

The other, I shall pass onto my new disciple.

Let him show the world what a marvelous skill that is!

Can you tell us what skill it is?

It's...

Bun snatching!

Bun snatching?

"Bun Snatching", for our uninformed audience
is a unique Cheung Chau tradition.

Each year in April the Cheung Chau people
set up three stacks of buns to celebrate.

Stacks of buns?

Literally speaking

It's a huge stack of many buns!

Each stack reaching six or seven storeys.

Imagine how high that is.

Bun snatching is to try and snatch those buns!

When the time comes, hundreds of young people rush up.

The higher the bun you snatch, the more
blessed you are and the more praise you get.

In 1978, two stacks crashed down, hurting many.

"Bun Snatching" was thus banned and
the unique tradition was lost.

The Olympic medal slipped away.

Every Saturday I'd take a ferry to
Cheung Chau to practice bun snatching.

A game with no medal,
no competitors, no competition.

A game nobody knows of.

A game with no buns to snatch!

All I do is to go to the master's home
and crawl around the shelves.

My win!

Keep going, lazy bones!

One day, San San arrived!

San San, my idol!

Seeing San San would make me forget
all these weeks of hard work.

San San!

San yourself! Work!

You hear me?

So San San leaves without seeing me.

In despair, I crawl up the shelf.

I've had a lot of things said to me but
"San yourself" hurt like nothing before.

I... I...

I quit!

Today is the first time I sit down with Logan.

He must be around 50, with a baby face.

Fresh from the oven!

This thing...

What does it look like?

Dull... he's not a bad student.

Logan then proceeds to tell me a lot.

His ambition, his expectations of Dull.

He says he'll teach all he knows to Dull.

The more he talks, the more excited he gets.

He tells me windsurfing is
not his strongest talent.

His strongest is really bun snatching.

Something combining fist, ritual and gymnastics.

He says bun snatching is
his life-long achievement.

Move your feet!

Look!

This calf. So thick, so strong, and so muscular!

With steely veins running down,
hair sticking out like wire,

and those tough toenails!

How many hills must it travel,
how many seas must it pass,

how much pain must it bear,
before a calf becomes a calf?

My son...

Your son, he will get this calf.

I have no idea why Dull
would need such a calf.

But looking at those steely veins
I am reminded of Dull's dad, Bing.

The electronic dictionary
cannot be found.

Where could it be?

Could it be?...

Mother has been using the dictionary.

But why is she writing in English?

The letter is short.

Mother must have translated it word by word.

I use the dictionary to turn it back into Chinese.

It is addressed to the Olympic
Committee Chairman.

"Dear Chairman:"

"How are you? I am fine."

"Do you like buns? I like buns!"

"We, the people of Hong Kong, love buns."

"Shanghai buns, Canton buns, Yilin buns.."

"Dear friend, it is important to snatch buns."

"It is an important game, no joke."

"One needs energy, and many nights rest."

"In my humble opinion bun snatching
should be an Olympic game."

"Let athletes from all over the world snatch!"

"And there will be peace."

"Do you have children? I have a boy, Dull."

She's writing about me!

"He is a good boy."

"He knows how to snatch buns."

"One day, I want to see
him snatching buns"

"and ending up snatching an Olympic medal."

"That is the biggest comfort a mother can get."

"Letting the world know the
talent of your children."

"Parents will do anything for that."

"That is why I've written you
this letter suddenly."

"Although you don't know
a humble thing like me."

"But my boy is big, very big."

"One day, you will know him too."

"Thank you for your cooperation in advance."

"Yours faithfully, Mrs. Mc."

After reading mother's letter I go
back to Cheung Chau to practice.

Not because of San San.

I don't know why I want to snatch buns.

I don't think it will ever become
an Olympic sport.

But I keep learning because I love my mother.

Master thinks my crawling phase has passed.

Now I'll learn the "One-two Bun
Snatching Hands" technique.

Master says the One-two hands was, in its prime,
much admired by Butcher Lin!

Later, I learn from McMug Butcher Lin
was a disciple of the great Kung Fu king.

I don't know much about Kung Fu kings
but I must be the ultimate porker.

The porker that struts about with buns in hand.

My mind boggles as I practice.
After all, I am not a fan of bun snatching.

I am only doing this for my mother.
So I hang on.

Step by step, claw by claw.

I make it passed the "One-two Bun
Snatching Hands" technique.

"Deformed because there is no deformity
But saves us from a dream."

This is Dull.

Dull the big guy, not Dull the boy.

The two Dulls have different voices.

Dull the boy's world is still filled with fantasy.

Filled with hopes.

Hope, disappointment,

hope,

disappointment.

On and on, until he became Dull the big guy.

But first I'll tell more about Dull the boy.

Dull the boy hoped a lot.

He hoped there was a Santa Claus.

He hoped to eat a Christmas turkey.

Right, I hadn't eaten any turkey before.

Everything about turkey, and the sparkling
Christmas tree like stars falling from the sky.

Coming down by the fireplace.

Each slice of meat looks purer than snow.

Right in front of us the aroma attacks our souls.

Waking even the guardian angels

who float around the aromatic and holy dish.

Floating in the Christmas night... floating.

All this about turkey was only my imagination.

I had never eaten a turkey.

I had never even smelt one.

Mother claimed a turkey was too big.

The two of us would never finish it.

One Christmas we celebrated with roast duck.

I was really, really disappointed.

Another year, she bought a mini-oven
60% off at a closing down sale.

Thanks to the oven Mother decided one day
we would go shopping for a turkey.

On the way home with turkey in hand
was the happiest moment in my life.

The turkey was ready.

Following mother, with salt on both hands
I rubbed the turkey's thick chest.

When sewing it up some of the
stuffing leaked out.

I cried "The turkey's stomach won't stop!"

We managed to stuff the turkey into the oven.

December 24th.

Rising smoke stirred the stars with a crunchy smell.

The oven hummed. Hummed.

It was like an early blessing from the angels.

Such a beautiful night!

Mother and I sat at the seafront.

Lights shimmered on the sea.

Beautiful and gentle.

So beautiful!

I had never tasted anything so strong.

Cup noodles or roast duck were not as strong.

The taste embedded in every single
taste bud then exploded.

Like everything tonight, most beautiful,
brilliant, and tender.

I woke up late the next day.

The sweetness was still there after brushing.

As we had a late breakfast there was
only corn soup for lunch.

I happened across diced turkey in the soup.

That night finally came the long awaited
Christmas turkey dinner!

Slices of meat, accompanied by gourd and potato
were dressed with soy sauce.

It was an exciting, satisfying moment for us.

The following week we had turkey sandwiches for breakfast.

Sunday, I boldly suggested eating out.

Mother said I was ungrateful but took me out anyway.

Then mother got inspired again.

What was left of the turkey was sliced
with me helping out at times.

It was not easy to get rid of the turkey smell.

Fried noodle with sliced turkey, yummy.

Steaming chestnut with sliced turkey.

Peanut congee with turkey bone.

Paper turkey bun.

Paper turkey paper bun.

Turkey pate with bread.

I shouldn't have said anything
about the turkey's stomach.

Soon came the Dragon Boat Festival.
I dug into the dumpling and found more turkey.

I Iost it. I cried.

Oh please!

When mother finally disposed of the turkey
it was already half year later.

My beautiful dream ended with a nightmare.

Later, I learned that a serving turkey
need only be raised for a few months.

The time the turkey spent with us
was in fact longer than its life.

I also realised, with turkey, taking
the first bite is all that matters.

Afterwards, it is just "be over and done with it".

I am no philosopher.

I could not come up with any profundity.

But this recollection after I grew up, on days
unrelated to Christmas did come up twice.

Once, it was at my wedding.

And once, it was at my mother's cremation.

That day, I was looking at the smoke rising up.

Suddenly, the smell of the turkey returned.

I regretted making mother
throw the turkey away.

"Special Report"

"Special Report"

Olympic medal winner San San Li will compete again

to prove to the world that HK athletes are horrible.

Also, the local foderation
officially announced today:

HK will apply to host the Asian Games.

Response from all sides has been enthusiastic.

Among them, the Bamboo Game Association
is proposing Mahjong for the official game.

While Tearoom Serving Groups have
vowed to campaign for "Tart Throwing".

As for the Cold Cut and Roasting Association,

they believe "Duck Hanging" would make an ideal addition.

More interesting, CIC Insurance is joining forces with
children from Spring Flower Primary School

in support of "Bun Snatching",
a game thought to be extinct.

In the end, nothing came of anything.

"Tart Throwing" was chosen as the official game.

As for the official slogan, the preferred
choice was "HK, One Big Tart".

Then San San Li lost.

And the hosting rights of the Asian Games went
to a place Hong Kong people never heard of.

Tearoom workers, those aspiring athletes,
went back to where they used to throw their tarts.

Everything went on as usual.

In secondary school, I stopped
practicing the One-two hands.

Sometimes, when I went out with mother
I'd still snatch a bun for her.

Then they stopped selling buns.

Trays were replaced by ordering sheets.

Everything came to nothing.

At times, I'd go to Cheung Chau for a barbecue.

The master looked older each time l saw him.

For environmental reasons

they changed snatching buns to plastic.

Master thought they stunk.

On Cheung Chau there was
Cheung Po Tsai Cave.

Legend claimed a pirate
hid his treasure here.

As I was the one who could climb my mates
said I should take a look and maybe get rich.

So I crawled along the dark and narrow cave.

Crawling.

There was nothing but a box.

I opened the box and inside there was an unfinished bun.

Maybe the pirate didn't get to finish it.

"Eating six buns last night"

"still left me hungry."

"Eating a pound and a half
of bread last night"

"still left me hungry."

"Climbing six flights of steps
when I was young"

"still left me empty."

"Training San San when I was old
still left me..."

Bun in hand, I suddenly realised there
are things that can't be forced.

A no is a no.

No fishballs, no noodles, no Maldives

no medals, no pirate's treasure.

And the pirate took no bite.

Stupid is not funny.

Stupid leads to failure,

to disappointment.

Disappointed is not funny.

Fatness is not funny either.

Fatness is not powerful.

Power doesn't mean yes.

Bun in hand, I suddenly thought, growing up
facing this sordid world

this not so dreamy, not so funny world,

"What shall I be?"

"... nothing shall be done."

"I Have Grown Up"

"Fat, still"

"Powerful"

Right, I am McDull the big guy.

Fat, with raw power.

Not doing too well.

Negative property.

With a pair of really thick calves.

Very muscular with steely veins running down.

As for the toenails, I got bored
one time and stared at them.

They're tough, no kidding!

Yes, the story ends here.

This was a try.

Error.. try.

No guarantee that I would make it.

In the end, zero gain? Not really.

I have my calves.

Standing here like this when the
waves hit, I feel great.

You see, smart guys like me don't really know
how to make a lesson out of their own story.

With calves in water, when the wind blows, I think

if mother could see me like this she'd be happy.

I've come up with a lesson!

Mother got inspired after
her dot com failed.

She published a cookbook.

The last recipe was "Roast Chicken".

A simple dish.

Recipe: Roast Chicken

Ingredient: Chicken

Method: Roast the chicken

Then, you have a roast chicken.

There was a remark in the cookbook:

If you want a delicious chicken,

a chicken that wouldn't upset you,

the secret is: please, roast it well.

Thank you very much.

One Regular, please.

What's a Regular?

The same as the Special.

What's the Special?

Same as the Quickie.

What's the Quickie?

The Quickie is a Lunch.

What's for Lunch?

The same as Supper.

What's for Supper?

Same as Regular.

We'll have the Regular.

Our Regular today is fantastic!

Sorry, Regular is gone.

We can have the Special.

What's a Special?

A Special is a Lunch.

What's for Lunch?

What you get for Supper.

What's for Supper?

Same as Quickie.

What's for Quickie?

A Quickie is a Regular.

But you said the Regular is gone!

Regular sure is gone.
How about the Special?

It's the Special, then.

Sorry, Special is gone.

Mother, let's have the Quickie.

What's for Quickie?

A Quickie is a Regular.

What's for Regular?

A Regular is a Lunch.

What's for Lunch?

Same as Supper.

And Supper?

Supper is like Special.

But you said the Special is gone.

The Special sure is gone.
Try the Quickie. It's the same.

We'll have Quickie.

Sorry, Quickie is gone.

This is too much!
Is there anything we can eat here?

Try the Lunch. It's fantastic!

How so?

It's like the Supper.

What about the Supper?

It's like the Regular.

And what about the Regular?

The Regular is gone. lsn't that fantastic?

Great! We'll have Lunch.

Sorry, Lunch is gone.

Try our Supper. It's all the same.

I'm not having supper
under broad daylight!

What's in a name?
It's the same as Lunch.

Great! Whatever you say!
And make it quick!

You want it quick? Try the Quickie!