-
- (gamer) Is it pronounced
"Tih-nookie" or "Tie-nookie"
-
or "Tah-now-dah-hoo-kah-yah"?
-
- (Ian) SHUT UP!!!
-
- (Ian) Sweet! Dude, we're in Super Mario 3!
-
- Look, Ian, can we just please
not kill anyone this time?
-
Each time we come into one of these games,
-
we end up destroying
their fragile ecosystems
-
and putting these
beautiful, wonderful creatures
-
on the endangered species list.
-
- No, we don't.
-
- Fireball!
-
(Anthony grunts)
-
(Anthony screeches)
-
- Okay, that-that was in self-defense.
-
(screaming)
-
Most of the time.
-
- (Anthony) Right.
-
(bouncing)
-
Look, man, we just need to be
the bigger people here, okay?
-
(Anthony sighs)
-
Yargh! OH MY GOD, IT'S HUGE. RUUUUU--
-
(game over music)
-
- (Ian) Uh, you sure you don't
want me to kill that thing?
-
- No! (whimpers)
-
I am a man of peace.
-
(boing!)
-
(Anthony) Oh! Oh god. I am so sorry!
-
- Good job, man. (chuckles)
-
- He's not really dead, right?
He's just in his shell,
-
taking a nap, right?
-
- Nope. He's definitely f*cking dead.
-
(boing!)
-
Oh, cool! Dude, it's a leaf.
-
I bet it gives me some sweet super powers.
-
(boing!)
-
What-- What the f-ck is this sh-t?!
-
Dude, it doesn't throw
fireballs or anything.
-
- What are you doing?
-
- Just trying to-- try
and make it do something,
-
like shoot knives or-- I don't know.
-
- Nope.
(Ian sighs)
-
- Dammit, whatever.
-
(Anthony screeches)
-
That's awesome.
Okay, that's pretty cool.
-
All right, I can work with that.
-
(game over music)
-
If I had known that furries
had killing powers,
-
I would've became a furry a long time ago.
-
- Whoa, dude! Watch out!
Flying turtle.
-
(Ian whimpers)
-
(boing!)
-
- Oh, sweet! I can fly!
-
- I am so Smuckers right now.
- I'm sorry, what?
-
- You know, jealous, jelly.
-
Smuckers makes jelly. (chuckles)
-
Come on, man! It's clever.
-
- No, it isn't.
- It's totally gonna catch on.
-
- No, it won't.
- You're just a hater.
-
- Dude, get out of there!
-
- (Anthony) It's okay, dude, we don't
have to kill anything, okay?
-
Watch, we'll just talk it out with him.
-
Hey there, buddy.
My name is Anthony.
-
I come in peace.
We don't wanna kill-- YARGH!
-
- Oh, I thought you
weren't gonna kill anything.
-
- (whimpering) I couldn't help it.
-
(sobbing) It was scary.
-
(game over music)
-
- (Ian) Dude, can you please just hurry up?
-
I'm pretty sure I left
my Pop Tart in the toaster oven.
-
- (Anthony) Sh-Shut up!
-
Hey, Mr. Turtle,
if you could just let me pass,
-
that would be so-- AAARGGGH!
-
AAAH!
-
Just get outta my f*cking way!
-
Aah! Aah! DAAAH!
-
(Anthony screeches)
-
Okay, so how about this?
-
So I stand right here, okay?
-
And you--
- You know what? F*ck this.
-
(boom!)
- Ooh.
-
- Good job, I guess?
-
- Well, I mean, I didn't
technically kill him, so...
-
- Yeah, but you also
just drove him to kill himself,
-
which I think is a little more
f*cked up than just killing him.
-
- Can we just finish this level already?
-
- Okay, good job, man.
-
(triumphant music)
-
- (Ian) Well, that was fun, wasn't it?
-
- (Anthony) Oh, yeah,
not traumatizing at all.
-
- (Ian) Yeah, I know, right?
Let's go to the next level.
-
(chiming)
-
- Dude, look, water.
Let's-a go!
-
(chuckles) Oh, sh*t!
-
(gurgling)
-
- Yep, definitely not Smuckers now.
-
- Dude, that is NOT gonna catch on.
-
(gurgling)
-
(game over music)
-
- (Ian) Hey, guys, thank you
so much for subscribing.
-
Click the video on the left
to check out bloopers from this video
-
and watch the deleted scene.
-
(boing!)
-
- Oh, goddamn it!
You can walk on clouds in this game?
-
- (Anthony) And click the video
on the right to watch
-
our newest Ever [Blank] Ever:
Every Teacher Ever.
-
- O Captain! My Captain!
-
(clatter)
-
(student shrieks)
-
- (Anthony) And if you're
on a touchscreen device,
-
you can go ahead and click all the links
-
for all that stuff down
in the description below.
-
[captioned by www.facebook.com/subtitleyoutube]
