Asal Eswed remainder part 1 subtitles

an Egyptian American who returns to Egypt with naive enthusiasm after twenty years abroad. In an attempt to convey the protagonist's background and to set the tone, the filmmakers benevolently named their main character Masry Arabi (the Egyptian Arab), eliminating the need for any kind of setup or back-story; and creating a sluggishly blunt poise that continues throughout the film.

Egypt is like black honey — sweet but black. This is what the title of the movie Asal Eswed (black honey in English) tries to say. The main song of the movie also states the same fact: "Egypt, the country where you find anything and its contradiction."

The warmth, familiarity, and sense of humor of Egyptian people are the sweet side; the bitter life, extremely poor conditions they live in, and the negative behaviors that resulted from those poor conditions are the black side.

Take this. Take it.

What, is she a drug dealer?

Take these.

Take some.

Me?

Yes, you, come here.

You come over here.

I said, come over here and take some.

OK.

Take this.

What is this?

Meat.

Why are you giving out meat?

Our freezer's full of meat. This is the time of year to give charity to the poor.

Oh, thanks, but I'm not poor.

What are you then?

I'm Masri.

Then you're definitely poor. Take the meat!

No, my name is Masri. But I'm American.

Then why are you looking like such a mess?

I was in a protest. Against America.

You came from America to Egypt to walk in the protests?

No, no, that's not it. It's not like you think.

I just had no idea the people would hate America this much.

Maybe you just don't know how to imagine.

Right...you're Egyptian, right?

Yes.

Okay, can I ask you something then?

I want to go to a communications office.

You're in a tough situation. Come with me and I'll show you what real Egyptian kindness looks like.

Excuse me.

Are you poor?

We're all poor in the eyes of God.

Ok, then take this, please.

God bless you and protect you. And give you health.

Wow, all that? That's too much praise for such a simple thing.

Hello, hello.

You're the Etisalat (a phone company) office, right?

Yes, that's right.

Great. Can I make a call?

No, sir. We're a company -

but if you want to make call, you can do it at the shop outside.

Oh, my god…

Excuse me, I want to make a call.

God willing.

Please, I'd like to make a call, and a bottle of water.

A bottle of water is 1.5 gineih. Go ahead, take one from the fridge.

Here's the number I want to call.

Right, but there's a digit missing.

Yeah, I know…I can't remember it.

Are you kidding me! Give me the whole number so we can call.

Well…if it's not one or two, it might be 3. Or four. Maybe five -

Hang on - just how many calls do you want to make?!

Well, I'm trying to figure that out! But no matter what, it can't be more than ten.

Fine, look, take this. I'll count.

What the…

This is the first time I've ever seen someone keep a phone as a pet.

Why'd you chain it up like this, does he bite?

Definitely not. I've already had 3 get stolen.

OK. Hello?

Hello?

Can I speak to Radi?

Radi? Who's Radi?

One.

Can I speak to Radi?

Radi? Get lost!

Two.

Can I speak to Radi please?

Why don't you talk to Abeer instead?

Three.

Can I speak to Radi?

Stop bugging me, you -

Four.

Can I speak to Radi?

Five.

Why did you even pick up? You sound like you're dying; don't pick up the phone…

Seven.

Can I speak to Radi?

Get out of here, you -

Eight.

Hi.

Yes?

Radi!

Who's this?

Radi, it's Masri.

Yeah, we're all Egyptian, duh.

Help me, Radi.

Can you believe this loser? He's selling water for 1.5 gineih, not 30.

I'm done, Radi. I'm in a lot of pain...I don't know how I can live like this.

This is nothing. It's how all Egyptians live.

Well, Radi, could you at least stand by me and help me, till I figure out what to do?

I wouldn't abandon you, not after the way you stood up to that cop.

I won't leave you in "azmatak" (=your crisis).

What? What about gazmatak? (=your shoes)

…Nothing. Drink up, before the sun comes up.

What's this? Man, you're really messed up.

I really am.

DId you hear that?

The morning call to prayer.

But - I'm so thirsty!

Wait, where's my bag and the camera?

I have them. Get in.

You don't remember your old house?? you make me sick.

No, I remember…it's here, in Cairo.

We've been turning around in these streets for hours. Where is it?

What can I do? All these streets are so different, I can't remember anything.

I remembered something. There used to be someone passing our house, selling fuul (beans).

Sweet or chilled.

Oh, you're testing me, huh? Chilled, of course.

And he went by every day.

Why the heck would he come by some days and not others?

Hurry up, man, my mom is sick and she needs me. Remember something else!

Fine. Let's ask some nice person for the name of the street I can't remember.

Radi, that's it, that's it, the street there.

Are you sure?

Yeah of course of course I'm sure. I can't believe it.

Thank god! Yalla, move it already, quickly.

Bustan al-Mahameez Street.

Yeah, yeah Radi, this is it, this is the street - and that's our building.

Are you sure?

Of course I'm sure.

I could forget anything except the building I grew up in, and played in as a child.

If only you'd never grown up!

Ah, MAhameez Street. Does that mean the Mahameez's live here?

Excuse me, Mahmouz.

Excuse me, is this building number six?

It's twenty-six.

Oh, duh, it's been twenty years. Of course it's number twenty-six now.

Is there someone living here name Sayeed Awad?

Do you mean Sayeed Tikh Tikh?

Yes, Sayeed Tikh Tikh.

He's here. In twenty-six, not six.

Looks ancient!

The door…

The bell…

Ok, maybe I didn't need to remember you.

Who are you?

You're asking US who WE are? You thief!

No, no, I'm not a thief. I'm Masri. Masri. (=Egyptian)

Who cares about your nationality? You're a thief!

NO! I'm not a thief, I'm Masri.

You ought to be ashamed! Stealing during Ramadan.

Come here, kiddo. He might steal you.

I'm not a thief. I'm Masri.

I'm Masri al-Arabi. Are you SAyeed TIkh Tikh?

What? Sayeed! You have thief friends!

Hang on a sec, Mom - that's Masri al-Arabi!

Yes, yes, yes!

Masri, I missed you!

OK, ok ok, enough kissing!

This is weird. A stranger staying with us in our house!

We're married and I already barely get to see you.

Suddenly this guy shows up?

What do you want me to do about it? I'm not the one who invited him!

Don't make things difficult.

I'm not the one who does that. Your mom does that!

Oh, please. You're always calling her "Auntie this, Auntie that," so polite -

Monsif!

Yes, Aunty.

Anything wrong, Monsif?

No dear Aunty, bless your soul.

And you.

See my lantern?

What's this for?

Ramadan.

And who's that? Ramadan?

No, that's Crumbo.

He looks like you.

No, the cheeks are different.

And what's your name?

Hamassa.

And how old are you, Hamaasa?

Seekis.

Six.

No, seekis.

No, no, no no - six.

No, seekis.

Six.

No, seekis.

I've set up a temporary room.

I forgot to introduce you to me family properly. This is Monsif.

And this is my sister Ibtisam.

Hey, hey, what are you doing?

I was going to kiss her.

Kiss her? I'm her husband and I barely get kisses from her.

Ok, so, hugging only? No kisses?

No hugging OR kissing. Sayeed, talk to your friend.

He wants to kiss me wife!

Look, this isn't American. We don't do that stuff here.

What? You can't hug or kiss?

No, of course not.

How do you live?

And I forgot to introduce you to my little sister.

Should i just say hi from here, or…?

Ok, no kisses.

So you're the only one we can kiss!

Take this piece of meat, Ibtisam.

No, mom, I don't want any.

No, no, I can't have any more. I'll eat the mulukhiya. (soup)

Take some .

So, Masri, tell us more.

Okay, I just need a spoon.

So after the protest, I opened my eyes.

The only thing I could see was black spots.

And how long do you plan to stay here?

Oh, well - as soon as I finish cleaning my apartment.

He meant how long will you stay in Egypt.

Oh! Well, i was planning to stay here permanently

but after what happened, I think I'll finish my work and then go home.

Good decision.

OH - and how much do I owe you?

Shame on you, ya Masri! You want to pay for our hospitality?

Of course! I'm eating, drinking, sleeping here…

So, if I came to America, you'd ask me to pay you?

Of course.

How about this - I won't ask you for any money now, and when I come to American you won't ask me for any either. OK?

And now I can stay with a clean conscience.

You're welcome here. Eat, eat.

Hamassa, take this and give it to aunt Abeer

but don't you dare stick even a finger in there. Come right back and finish your food.

What's this? Is this the "shukhaf?" (he meant "kushaf" but made a mistake. shukhaf = pee!)

Urine! It's kushaf. Don't tell anyone it's urine.

Can I have some?

Take all of it. After what you said, no one will want it anymore!

Okay, after I finish my mulukhiya.

So delicious.

I prepared it.

and I boiled it.

And I supervised.

Okay, so…who made it, then?

I didn't think I'd ever take a shower again.

Answer, Sayeed.

OH, okay. Yes?

Yeah? Hi Noosa.

What? What's wrong, Noosa? What is it?

Go inside, go inside.

You can't walk around like that in the house! There's women here!

Yeah, yeah, I know, I saw them. Noosa and Ibtisam.

I didn't introduce them to you, it's wrong!

Why?

Are you stupid? Just wear something. Don't stand around like this.

And your "beautiful" hair.

What's wrong with it?

Tie it back.

Okay…okay. I promise I won't let even a hair fall on the ground.

Tell you what - I think you'd better put on a hijab.

Hijab?

Ok?

Ok…

Who was that? Who?

Don't get upset with Monsif. He's in a tough situation.

OK, ok Sayeed. No problem.

Take this.

What is it, a jallabiya?

It's my dad's sleeping gown. It'll relax you.

As long as it doesn't make me rest the way he's resting now! (in the grave)

I don't think I could sleep wearing that; I'm fine with this, don't worry.

I'm so tired. Where should I sleep?

Here, on my bed.

Okay, and you?

I'll be on Monsif's couch.

And Monsif?

He'll be in the fridge outside.

What?

I mean the couch, the couch.

No, Sayeed, I've made a huge mess this way.

Please let me sleep on the couch, and you have your bed.

Look, let's just both sleep on the bed with Hamaasa.

What am i, your girlfriend? Sayeed, just sleep on your couch.

No, no no no, impossible. We'll both share the bed.

Your feet got big, Sayeed!

Because I just sit around all the time.

Eh…I think it was that way before.

Where do you work?

I'm a tax collector.

Do you like it?

It's what was available.

If you ask an engineer what his dream was, he'll tell you it was to be a doctor.

When you ask the same question of a doctor, he'll say he wanted to be a lawyer.

Nobody here does what they really want.

And you? What did you want to be originally?

A pilot.

I've only travelled once by plane before. I was terrified.

I thought I was going to suffocate and die, like this:

That's crazy. Egyptian passengers…

Why did you want to be a pilot?

Because Egyptian pilots are the best pilots in the world.

You know what?

That's just what Egyptians tell themselves.

Like when we say "oh, women can't resist an Egyptian man."

Or, "Oh, the Egyptian child is the smartest child in the world."

OW, shit!

See? You think this could be the smartest child in the world?

What the heck, Hamaasa…

All last night you were tossing and turning! I couldn't sleep because of you!

Wait, honey, take the sandwiches.

Cheese or egg?

Both, sweetie. Take care.

Take this, Masri. You might need something.

Thank you. I don't really have money with me, but as soon as I get some. I'll pay you back.

Pay me back? You're like my own son - like Sayeed.

What, Sayeed doesn't pay you back either?

God bless both of you.

Good morning Sayeed!

Good morning, ya Summa - join us!

Join us? Don't ask him to come, we're already late.

Just being polite, that's all.

Oh, I see.

Isn't this your dad's scooter?

Yep.

He died, but this is still alive.

Good morning, Sayeed.

Good morning, ya Farooq.

If you don't mind, I need some help lifting a gas cylinder.

Certainly.

Thank you.

What's wrong with the scooter, Sayeed?

Did it finally die, too?

Good morning, Sayeed.

Good morning, friend.

Join us! Sayeed's busy, so I thought I'd say it for him!

Hold this!

What is this? Do you have the whole school in your bag?

Take this, Sayeed.

What are you doing?!

The "Kataawit". Kataawit.

Kataawit? Oh, you mean cut out. Not hitting it with a brick!

It's a little messed up.

Sayeed, why are you doing this? You must have wrecked it. It's not going to work.

It worked…wow!

How?

Let's hurry and catch Sayeed.

Sayeed, Sayeed, wait! Take Abeer with you, would you? She missed the bus.

Thanks, Sayeed.

You're welcome.

Wait, Sayeed, was that just politeness too, or - how are we all going to fit on this?

Clearly it's not just politeness this time. Get on.

Where?

All right, look I'll give you a little more space. Come on, let's go.

I think it's illegal to drive like this.

You just get on, and trust in God.

Hold tight, Hamasa, ok?

See? I told you to hold on.