Daun Haus Даун Хаус (полностью)

цитата из Луркомрья:
"Даун Хаус — нарочито небрежно смонтированная дипломная работа сценариста Ивана Охлобыстина во ВГИКе.

Источник лулзов 2001 года рождения. Бальзам на душу для олдфагов. Сценарий можно было бы растащить на цитаты почти полностью, но воспитание не позволяет, поскольку о том, можно ли так издеваться над классикой, спорят до сих пор. " (с) Луркморье https://lurkmore.to/%C4%E0%F3%ED_%D5%E0%F3%F1

Комичность данного фильма усугублятеся тем, что широко известные актёры несут с экрана несусветную чушь с совершенно серьёзными лицами. Ьак эе в этом фильме снялись (в эпизодах) ди-джейГрув и даже сам Атремий Троицкий.
Чтобы понять всю глубину стёба данного фильма - необходимо прочитать классика (Достоевский Ф.М. "Идиот") или посмотреть многосерийную экранизацию "Идиота". Ну или на худой конец старый ещё чёрно-белый фильм с Яковлевым в главной роли. Отличные, кстати, экранизации что современная что старая, да и "Даун Хаус" тоже из разряда "бомба"
Смотрите и наслаждайтесь.

http://www.ohlobystin.narod.ru/daun.htm - полный сценарий фильма.

Idiot, idiot,
I could have hit you!

You could die!

This is a route Zurich-Moscow.

DOWN HOUSE

All they want is humiliate russians!
They act like driving a tractor.

I hardly placed my leg,
the german pulled -

and i injured it even more.

Your music is stuck?

That's not "stuck", that's "house",

in my contradictory past - a youth pop-music.

Parfen Rogojin, businessman.
- Pleased to meet you.

Will we drink "for the road"?

I am Prince Muishkin, orphan.

a programmer by training,

and virtually hailed from a whole range of nervous ailments.

Dr Schneider, the leading cerebrum specialist in Europe,

me successfully rehabilitated.

I ended up, finally, with a decision to go to my historical motherland.

Never been to Russia before.

My grandfather, cossack and my
gran, boarding school girl,

moved to Switzerland in the end of the century.

My mother and father met in France, in Paris.

He was strolling along the street with a croissant,

and she, having lost somebody else's francs,
was just about to lay hands upon herself.

He lead her to the cafe -
to drink absinthe.

After seven month, I was born.

And after that?
- And after that everybody died.

And I was taken to the clinic.
For medical tests. For eight years.

And what on earth possessed me to ski!

Well!

For Nastasya Filipovna, my dearest!

I suffer from love...
suffered for love...

From the father's rage, like a guerrilla,

hid in the swiss mountains.

And who is this Nastasya Filipovna?

O, bro...

Why would you need that?

You, Parfen Rogozhin,
have nothing to bother about:

due to pills - I don't have
any enthusiasm to women.

Same thing for me. What I am sober -
I don't even notice them.

However, when I am drunk,
I have much more enthusiasm.

But this time it was different.

I was standing near my headquarters,
you won't believe it - sober as a glass!

And she is crossing the street on traffic light.

Moving her lovely legs.

In one hand - a bottle of vodka 0.75, in another - a bonbon.

I was stupefied. Spent half a day on that crossing.

Thought she would go back: to continue.

Right. I've heard about this Nastasya Filipovna.

She is cohabit with Totsky, responsible secretary of the security council.

For big money.
- Evil slander!

I, my dearest, am going to mutilate you right now.

After that, I could not find her for a long time.

And then, by accident, I met her at the shoe-store.

I was having a meeting with a broker,

papa sent me.

He insisted very much on buying one steamboat.

But I sent the broker away.
And did not buy that steamer.

But I did buy a shoe-shop.

And presented it to Nastasya Filipovna.

So that she could clatter all her life in my shoes.

But, of course, I did not return to my papa after that.

Because papa with my brother Seryoga
would have for sure drowned me in the pond.

Went here.

Abroad.

And my father passed away a week ago.

They say, because of a head stroke.

That's how I became a millionaire.

And for these accidental capitals, I will buy my
beloved Nastasya Filipovna...

three casinos. And a sauna.

Would never return to Russia, if not the affairs.

Want kind of affairs can you have, roach?

Ah, I need to solve a housing problem in Mytishy.

With my former wife. But, after our,
Parfen Semyonich, fabulous meeting,

I have intention to offer myself
for your assistance.

DOWN HOUSE

Prince, bro, wake up, we arrived.

Mother Moscow!

Listen, would you help me to carry one
thing to the subway. I pay

There's no need to pay.
I will help anyway.

A generous person, you are.

Go, wanker, bring it right here, to the bus.

And you, Prince, take at the back, there's a handle welded on.

And you, insect, grab it in front

But, carry it exactly above me.

Are you taking subway?
- No.

My relatives live just next door.

To tell you the truth, I am very nervous before meeting them.

I am also very nervous before meeting my brother, Seryoga.

He is such an inventive soul.

What kind of exercise is that?

That's a relative of our general, from abroad.

Has some affair to Ivan Fyodorovich.

I will announce.

So...

How can I help you?

I have relations with your spouse.

Spare me from that, all relations of my wife I
remember and control.

However, you have never been reported.

No, I am related by blood.

Your spouse is almost my second aunt.

We are the only Muishkins that left in the whole world.

Because another one, Aristarkh Nikodimich,

the one that proved with mayors and courts
that we are hereditary Princes,

and that we own half of North and half of South,

last month was overrun by a milk tanker.

Went to get milk and - crunch.

I was reported of this tragic event from the Assembly of the Nobility.

So that is it...

You are, my friend, a bit feeble-minded, as I see..

Nothing can be concealed from you.
That's why you are general.

You, Ganya, rent rooms at your place...

Take him to live there.
- What for?

I can care for myself.

I have three daughters.

Also stupid like dults.

What if you stumble upon
each other by accident -

kids will be imbeciles.

At Ganya's you will be under supervision.

Ganya, come closer.

There she is - Nastasya Filipovna.

Lifelike!

Your future half, lucky man!

She is, of course, effective-looking...

But she cohabits with Totsky.
And they say, drinks often.

My mother is already stressed.
Like electricity.

What matter, Ganya?

I will dower for her...

three wagons of canned meat.

Nastsya Filipovna?
May I have a look, if you'd like, sir?

Rogojin Parfen Semyonovich, my friend, told me,

that he was going to invite her to sauna.

Rogojin? Dead man.

Recently, his brother Seryoga swaggered,

that he will punch him when they meet, not to halve the millions.

What concerns Parfen, competitor:

Don't particularly count on him very much.
Parfen knows what's what.

Remember, how he played a doctor with our cat?

Yes, I remember.
- That's it!

So grab my relative-idiot and...

take him to your house.

See, he is listening to the photo.

And who are you?
- I am Prince Muishkin.

And I am Lizaveta Prokofievna, also born Muishkin.

These are my buns:

Aglaya, Adelaida and Alexandra.

All start with "A"

Please, my dearest friend!

Indulge us with a bit of coffee.

And you will tell us about your sorrowful existence.

What are you our relative?
What kind of music is this?

House.
- House. That's middle ages.

You know, I also like it very much.
I am a romantic girl.

I like all unusual.
In the "retro" style.

Most possibly a drug addict?

We, the Muishkins, all are addicts.

Like my grandfather, for instance,
Poluekt Veniaminich,

from the morning to the late night
he gorged dope.

Until he drove dead finally.

And my grandaunt was an irrepressible lech /coke snorter/.

However, she is still alive and well.

She is 300 years old.

These are the paradoxes of the Muishkin family.

No, I don't like pills.
I choke them down.

I prefer pisciculture.

Well, so, I don't have any need in drugs.

I see life enough...

picturesque without them.

I either have a medical certificate.

You are so sincere!

Like a fireman.

Well, girls...

Don't torture Prince with questions.

Let him tell you some...

moral story...

from his expat past.

And then let him off to Ganya.

I thy kiss kindly...

and I retreat hastily in favour of my affairs.

Good bye, papa.

Well, Prince. Tell us something interesting.

Well, then. I will tell you...

a terribly sad...

story...

of life and tragedy of a young Maria.

Our hospital was situated
next door to a bank,

where served young Maria.

She was jolly and kind.

Loved kids.

But all of a sudden Maria got foes.

Told some unpleasant things about her to the bank owner.

and he transfered her to the kitchen.

It all ended even worse than it started.

Maria decided to cook eggs in the microwave oven,

The microwave was near the gas distributor.

An explosion broke our fence,

and then we were catching patients for a week.

And one patient suffocated with an eyeball.

What a sad story... And?

And I've seen an execution of a writer in China.

Then he published his feelings on the internet.

But how?
You say he was executed...

First time he was punished just for fun,

to let him share his feelings with other chinese writers.

And the second time -

squish! - and that's all.

Oh, China... So wild.

In my youth, Gypsies sold Chinese carpets on the market.

You carry it home,
and hang it on the wall.

Looks nice in the daytime.

But at night...

the carpet starts to sparkle,

and the portrait of Mao Tse-Tung appear on it in a casket.

There are such traditions.

Well, prince should go home.

All the best!
- Goodbye, prince.

Say, finally, Gavrila Ardalionich [Ganya],

what type is this Nastasya Filipovna?

Oh, my dear! I will tell you the story.

When Totsky found cellulite
on his back,

he decided to switch to
vegetable nourishement

and to abandon bull's testicules. Once and for all.

After being promoted as a deputy minister

he took a vacation and went
to the near abroad - to Nikolaev, Ukraine.

To visit the widow of his deceased friend -
a secretary to the local Partkom.

Arrives and observes secreatary's daughter ripened as a peach!

He becomes very interested in such a metamorphosis.

Altight, he takes this poor daughter
and sends her to his governement dacha.

For her cultural development.

And visits her every weekend.

It's been 10 years and now Totsky started to think

of marriage with a decent girl with good relataions.

Found Alexandra Epanchin, she came along
with a meat-processing entreprise.

But no, nothing of that sort!

Nastsya Filipovna came to Totsky's home

and started to threaten him with a slaught and court

for debauchery of an Ukranian minor.

I, Vanya, reach the Assembly Point.

You, you deflowered me to Pink Floyd

and made a zen-buddhism adept,

and now you are planning a side marriage?

I will definitely throw a sulfuric acid
on you at the front door.

Will sue you!

For the debauchery of a Ukrainian minor.

That is - me.

No side marriage!

And it has nothing to do with money.

I don't know how to use it!

And you! You used me and now
decided to abandon? No way!

Now I will live like a I wish myself!

And for farewell I want to announce,

that you were disgusting
to me all this time!

Hog!

After that Totsky did not leave
his house without an escort for a month,

was afraid being slaughtered.

And still can't understand what Nastasya Filipovna is willing.

And what is your business?

That's Ivan Fyodorovich decided to employ a ruse:

marry us and then she should not have a reason to be offended.

And Totsky with Epanchin will
accomplish the merge of

the state and prive capital on the lowest level.

Pay attention,
Gavriil Ardalionovich,

what think modern youth!

What's special?
Like always - tittys-winkies.

Yes, you are right, but have a look
what dynamical love to life

they put in each and every word:

"Want a larger chick. Kolya M"

Pah! To hell!

Whom are you bringing again? Name?

Mom, believe it or not,

but that is a relative of the wife
of my direct chief.

Prince Muishkin. Does not drink at all.

Why "Prince"?
- I am not local.

My parents went abroad yet
before the revolution.

So, you don't drink?
- I don't drink.

Alright then, come in.

As I understand, you are going to live here?
- That's right.

But don't let me carried away.
- By what?

Actually, by nothing.
But especially by computers.

Don't worry about that.

We've never had it in our life.

I don't have a special need, and Ganya
does not have money for this progress.

I only wish that you don't drink...
- I don't.

Oh! So our colt has grown up!

I remember!

I remember, I remember like I washed your dirty bum

on the springs in Baden-Baden.

But I've never been in Baden-Baden.

And where have you been?
- In Nice.

I remember!

I remember how I washed your dirty
bum on the springs in Nice.

Why do you think that I continuously wet my bed?

Since childhood I haven't had such a habit.

What a fine young man!

Issue me 10 roubles.

Enough, papa, time to bed!

That is my parent -

general Ivolgin, the storm of Caucause.

Drunk and gambled up
of multiple war wounding.

You don't give him any money - he will gamble it to the roulette anyway.

Yes, this is my mother and sister Varya.

Mama is very kind.

And Varya - despondent.

Varusha always took prizes on the
mathematic competitions.

And last time they presented as a grand-prix...

a live donkey!

We were feeding him vegetables...

And then he kicked the bucket and we buried him on
the back yard with the children's scoops during three hours.

And now, at that very place,

appeared an apple-tree

Ferduishenko.

Another our lodger. Gallerist [gallery's owner]

And break winds for any suitable event.

Today is the most suitable of all!

A salute in the honor of the eminent guest!

Proceed to the tea, please.

I decided, mama, not marry Nastsya Filipovna in the end.

She is dowered with three wagons of canned meat.

A wicked woman!
Of the promiscuity way of life.

And you will become a drunkard...
- But the canned meat, mama...

What "canned meat"?

Where is the guarantee
that they will give you fresh?

Maybe it's long past it's expiry date!

And that alcoholic will infect all of us with gonorrhoea.

Well, scum from the capital!

Will we make acquiantance?

What do we owe your visit to,
Nastasya Filipovna?

You, as I can hear, are well boozy.

Do you want a scandal or just like that wholy-hearted?

A scandal.

Did you hear that I might marry your jerk?

Why is it that he is jerk?

Well, who is not aware -

everyone knows:
the first masturbator in the capital.

But that's not the matter.

The matter is that I don't know yet
whether I will marry him or not.

You, mind what you say!

Say thank you that you were let into the appartement.

Your place is not in the respectable house,
but in the bawdy house.

And where am I, allow me to precise?

It's a typic brother,
a penny-worth as well.

Do you rent rooms?

Oh-oh-oh! It's a disaster!

Canned meat bride exposed the truth!

None of your drunk-mind business.

And what concerns marriage:

We should see whether you fit Ganya or not.

Oh, that's what you are, Varya!

And I am thinking why noone takes you?

I would.To guard the house!

Gentlemen, while we talk, there - it's ready.

What's ready?

Everything is ready!

Papa is right!
- Of course, he is!

We should give a box at someone's face!
- Oh, it's terrible...

My queen! My snow maiden!
Let's go boating nude on a steamer,

will race roaches with naked buts.

What! And you are also here, my gem, Prince?

Let me kiss you right away!
- Parfen Semyonovich.

Kissing? Always covered with puke you are, isn't it?

What exactly do I owe your visit to?

Owe! Exactly: owe!

You remember, you borrowed money for cremation of your mama?

And your mother is indeed alive!

So, I am here to congratulate you and take back my money! Give me back my money!

What money, Ganya?
Why would you need money?

Mama, you know! I don't drink.
I gave up.

That's all lies!
Outrageous and insidious lies!

He is trying to descredit me.

Oh, you rat!
Drove mother to grave!

Silence!

Gavrila Ardalionovich, you can't harm women! Especially in public.

Then you, idiot!
- Will tear you up for Prince, for Lev Nikolaevich!

Lads! Beat up everyone who is alive!

My tigeress, what a joy!

Tonight I will bring you a bucketful of money,

if you go with me to the marriage registry office!

I will think about it.

I welcome you tonight for a coctail party.

It's so nice here, but I have to go.

Your daughter Varya is so good.

How nice she works with a left uppercut!

And son is a jerk anyway.

Excuse me, Prince...

for my rash action!

Something drove me...

Thank you, Prince...

You are a true nobleman.

And a programmer.

Your welcome, bon appetit.

I need a bath, because I reek of gibs...

Proceed, I will give you a shampoo,
anti-scarf.

Find me in "Three crowns".

I will tell you about one high-ranking person.

That is, Prince, our life.

Well, let's drink whiskey a bit.

Man! Whiskey! To me and this officer!

I will have just a bit,
I am not allowed to be carried away.

Do you remember how I cleaned your arse in a driking fountain?

Please, don't mention these details.
- No means no.

I am also sentimental.

I, say, had an signaller officer, Paramonov.

And he had his head shut off
during communication session.

And I can't still talk over the phone!

A sant'e!
- A sant'e!

So what was that you wanted to tell me?

Me?
- Yes, you.

Yes! Drink for your heroic father!

Did you knew my dad?

Sure, I knew your dad!

I passed all Angola with your parent.

We burned two times in a tank,
three times in a plane,

And once we were stuck in a tropical swamp.

What a bizarre story...

I always thought that my father an engineer-economist.

Do you know, son,

what is "conspiration"?

Bet on a "dozen" and collect on "colour".

So we were stuck on a small piece of earth,

surrounded by crocodiles.

I tell your father: "So, bugger"

Because I was calling him friendly -"bugger".

So, bugger! Let's sing something before we die!

And we started singing.

Shines an unknown star....

We are away from home again...

And again we are separated by citites...

and the take-off lights of the airport.

And what then?

After?

After that I lost consciousness

When I woke up, your father was already gone.

Do you know Nastasya Filipovna?

Sure!

I knew her deceased mother.

We were even going to marry.

But the incidents prevented us from it.

I began the manoeuvres.

And she broke her collar bone.

And I could have been a father to your Nastasya Filipovna.

Are you going to visit her tonight?
- Of course!

She is waiting for me!

Hoping!

Agrees nothing without me.

Can you take me to this coctail?

I need to speak to her!
- Let's go.

Just pay for whiskey...
I have a platinum AMEX.

It's not widely accepted.

Especially in this brothel,

where I left all my war savings.

Post it!

Here's my Bucephalus.

A trophey.

A gift of Saddam Hussein.

For anniversary.

How do you identify your location?

With the help of equipment.

Oh, bloody hell!
Crushed a cow again.

What a burlesque brothel!

Walk where they want.

And how comes that cows walk on the steets?

They come from the Smolensk area.
There are forest fires.

and also wild boars.

Mooses.

Aw! Look, here the women of a stock
entreprise raped a policeman.

And is it here?
- Here.

Here is located the source of ethernal joy!

There it is!

Did you bring the money?
- My doughnut! I am waiting for a transfer...

Alright, then come here.

You will sit in a pit until you get your pension.

And if you don't get it, I will sell a Hammer.

Excuse-me, and what about Nastasya Filipovna?

There's nothing I can do now.

But you promised me to take at her place!
- Yes, I promised.

And some day I will!

For the honorable memory...

of our legendary friendship
with your father...

and the mother of Nastenka [Nastasya Filipovna].

Don't believe in all that he says.

General Ivolgin sometimes misrepresent the facts.

A habit.
To misinform an enemy.

Me also, he misinformed.

Promised to marry and be prepared for all.

Now, I live in garages for three years.
Washing Hammer.

As I understand there is
no Nastasya Filipovna here!

No.

Good day, do you happen to know where
Nastasya Filipovna lives?

Hah, who does not know where she lives?
She lives in a lot of places.

And at this moments she rents
boyar chambers in Peredelkino.
- There we go, then?

Won't you drink? Won't you fight?

I, my dear fellow, don't drink, don't smoke,

don't shoot and don't snort.
And am not intersted in computers.

And I am totally not used to fighting.

You are an exceptional person.

How can I help you, sir?

I am looking for Nastasya Filipovna.

Like me... for the first time...

I overstepped the threshold...

of this house... aha.

45 years ago.

Formerly this house belonged to boyar Svinin.

And this boyar loved a house-serf girl -

Parasha.

He adored her so much!

So he went to the tsar - Ivan the Terrible -

a russian autocrat -

to get authorization for the legal marriage.

with a house-serf -

Parasha.

But the tsar beheaded him, just in case.

And girl, getting to know that,

hanged herself on the ribbons... in a dining room.

Nothing good happened in this house since.

So, welcome.

Bah!

That's Prince!

Good afternoon!

And we are playing various games here.

Which Ferdishchenko invents.

However, generally, these are valgurities
and disgrace... But funny.

For instance, just before your arrival

Ferdischenko blowed a matchbox off the table
with his ethernal winds

Now Ivan Fyodorovich [Epanchin]
owes him a flick.

I am not opposed of that.

But I demand that Ferdischenko
washes his hands.

Maybe, I should also put a condom

on a finger?..

Condom or not, but the fact is...

otherwise I squeamish.

With your way of life and level of education...

Ivan Fyodorovich,

in your age,
there is nothing to be worried about.

Gentlemen!

Stop quarrelling.

And you, my dear, think of another game,
more interestering and without spoiling the air.

Well... If you wish.

When I stayed with Prince of Walles,
I played a very amusing game

with his maids of honour.

It is called "compromat plaisir".

And what is the goal of this
"compromat plaisir"?

I suspect that you are telling lies as alawys.

That's pretty simple.

Each in his turn remembers the most shameful story of his life.

And tell it to honorable public.

Not bad.

But we will exclude women. And not a word about politics.

I object!

I want to participate as well as others.

Oh, gentlemen!
I am so prankish...

Okay, draw your destiny...

Well, really!

Me so it is.

I, as opposed to some aged generals,
am not afraid to tell truth about myself.

I am myself Truth and Honour!

There I live, a 25-year old boy,
like a poor miserable creature.

I just moved from Kharkov,

and my aunt from the capital did not let me in

because I, in her opinion, have relations with "other women".

Matthematics teacher...

Woman with strict moral, puratain.
On a separate dwelling.

Well, what should I do?
I rented a small room in a

big apartment in Lefortovo,

and just next me also rented a room...

a killer.

A hitman, that is.

Aaand...

And he got his commands by mail.

For his objectives. Every saturday...

he got a postcard with a view of Pyatigorsk,

where were listed the names.

And each tenant had a key from the postbox.

And me, of course.

So, it was once that I returned in the morning

from friday to saturday.

I opened a postbox - and there was a postcard!

And what do you think, gentlemen?

I put down the name of my aunt!

And went to sleep.

And forgot about that.

Because I was drunk.

Two preceding days I spent at Marina's place,

in a sexual excess and unrestrained alcoholism.

After a week...

this killer came to my relative,

exactly at the algebra lesson. And...

And the check shot?

Aunt had the only hereditary --

me... So

this appartment passed to me.

And so I sold

became a real-estate agent,

I grew rich and open a first...

gallery of art.

How is this, hah?

Terrible!

Terrible what? That's the truth!

And we carry on, gentlemen, with our triumph of truth.

First of all,

my honorable audience,

I beg you no to judge me too critically to the event

that took place

very long time ago

in a wild and foolish youth.

Twenty five years ago...

I served with my best friend, first lieutenant Dmitrievich,

on an asiatic border,

Times were wild,

Every now and then there were sorties of these barbarians,

and attacks on the frontier posts.

Once, we got into such situation.

After three hours of combat, there were...

only two of us left - me and first lieutenant.

And the ennemy is pushing forward in spite of everything.

So we saw that we had cartridges only for two more hours.

Vanyusha!

In this life there are only three things that I love:

you, condensed milk,

and my brown-eyed Larisa.

I wrote her a letter about my ruthless love.

Pass it to here, brother.

And I will cover you.

The last thing I saw was...

such picture:
my heroic friend...

standing high with a machine gun in his hands...

And, singing a song about a cruiser "Varyag",

started to archie the enemy.

After two days, dirty and thin, I was picked
by a detachement of a neighbouring frontier point.

From them I learned that my comrade Dmitrievich

felt with the brave from 48 bullets and

and 400 bayonet thrusts.

After a month, I quit hospital,

and went on a vacation.

And even more than to see my wife,
I wanted to find Larisa Dmitrievich,

and pass her a letter - last message from her husband.

So, I arrived at the train station.

Bought a ticket to Kazan and began to wait.

And then suddenly I had an attack in my stomach,

and it was so huge.

I hurried to the loo and recovered fast.

Breathed freely... But all of sudden...

I discovered that there were no toilet paper.

I searched everything... But, no.

I only had a soldier's card and a letter of a first lieutenant.

I try to yell so that someone could bring me some paper.

But the train station became empty in a moment.

Even the train station officer on duty fled.

And I recognize,

that train leaves in 5 minutes - and there is nothing left to do, but...

I began crying and...

wiped with a letter of the hero.

I am wiping and crying.
Like a first year student of a military school.

I did not go to his wife, of course.

And in my heart there stuck forever

a splinter of guilt

for the betrayal of the memory of my friend.

Big deal! Wipe with a depeche [letter]!

What have I not used to wipe?

With summons
And ballot papers.

And once I wiped with a credit card.

Also, I remember I once farted a "polonaise" of Oginski.

Is that fair?

I did confess about my own aunt, and you palm me off some rubbish.

I am outraged.

Why are you outraged, Ferdischenko?

Everybody thinks that your story is much more funny.

And here I decided to also tell you a story.

In short:

Mr Totsky and Ivan Fyodorovich want that I marry Gavriil Ardalionovich.

So, this is what I say, monsieurs generals.

I am not very willing to marry.

Arseholes!

For our mutual liberty, Ganya!

But, please, my dear.
I remind that you assured emphatically,

that you will marry Gavriil Ardalionich.

She loves you!

Rubbish!
He is not in love with me, but with canned meat.

May that is indeed true, but I find you very attractive either.

And we will use canned meat as a nourish.

Three wagons?

We will sell two and buy equipment for bathroom.

I don't know...

What do you think, should I marry him?

By no means!

That's decided then!

I am not marrying Ganya.

It's a disgrace!

And you, Prince...

Parfen Semyonich Rogojin.

Buenos dias, ragamuffins!

I came to slap your noses with bank notes.

And for you, my peerless Nastasya Filipovna,

I brought a total finance liberation from depression

in ever-green units.

My brother Seryoga shared a bit.

He doesn't need it anyway - he broke hands and legs.

Skating.

Good evening, Parfen Semyonovich.

Here, Parfen, just before you came,

I resufed Gavriil Ardalionovich's
and his senior comrades' reciprocal feelings.

That's right!
Why would you need this ill genital?

Genital or not, but he proposed to me.

By the way, is there anyone else who want to marry me?

I want! very much.
- Okay, that's understood.

Anyone else?
- I want!

Prince! Why would you need that?

I will spoil you. And... by which means will we exist?

Why? I have a lot of money.
Much more than everybody else.

Lies!

Do you remember I told you a story about my...

uncle Aristarkh? So...

Just before his death he managed to win one trial

for the right of the Muishkins for some kimberlit pipe in the ground

where they get diamonds.

They did not give us all of it,
Instead they gave us 10%.

Monthly revenue is four millions.

No thoughts about what to do with it.

I wanted to open a circus for poor children,

in Zurich, but I think, that there will remain something.

It surely will...

for nourish and for pills.

This should be checked.

No, no, no! Mine!

Put your gun down, Parfen Semyonich!
I won't marry prince.

And don't ask why.

Just no.

And what, would you really take me?

And won't be afraid of carping tongues?

Without being afraid.

Anyway.

So how it is any way now...

Ganya!

Is it true they say that you will sell your motherland for a rouble?

He will!

Maybe, not for a rouble, but for sure two.

So.

Give me the case.

Gentlemen!

Here as you know is colossal sum of money!

Go, Ganya!

If you get - it's yours.
- Mine?

Yours, yours! But...

Let it flare up a bit, otherwise it's not very interesting.

Mama...

That what happens of greed.

If only he does not die...

No, otherwise he will suffer a hard investigation.

As soon as he comes to - let him collect it.

And I don't know, should I drown

or should I shoot myself...

or should I marry you, Parfen.

Which is, in fact, all the same.

Let's go, Parfen Semyonich.

And to hell it all.

Here.

Take this money, Prince.

And pass it to it's intended owner, Lev Nikolaevich.

Why is that?
- Because.

First of all, though I am an avaricious person, I still have pride.

And, secondly, it belongs to Rogojin.

And he does not like expenses.

We never know what happens if he gets upset
with Nastasya Filipovna and will be willing to get his money back.

And I will be found head off and without money.

And how are just married?

You are talking about Rogojin and this woman?
- Yes

Well, discharge the water [put out the light]...

Rogojin pulled out of bed in the middle
of the night the senior responsible

of the registry office
(for big money, of course)

And everybody went to the registry office.

And Nastasya Filipovna asked to go to the toilet for a second,

Escaped though the window and vanished without a trace!

Parfen knocked out senior responsible officer's
two front teeth.

Shot Ferdishenko in the leg.

And so he went to grieve and cry deeply.

Poor, poor man!

What a poor man... Where is he?

We should offer him our shoulder.

Throw a ring buoy of a human compassion.

Do it yourself.

I am not going to throw and especially offer nothing.

Don't worry, Ganya, I will do it myself. Where is he?

I brought you Gavriil Ardalionovich's money.

He decided to return this money to it's proper owner

on the score of it's total useless for own conscience.

Aah, that's you, our diamond.

What, awake?

Make yourself comfortable.

Zigfrid!

I almost forgot!

Take "carp on a mirror" to Seryoga.
To the hospital.

He loves fish.

And stop giving him porn -
his cardiograms become worse.

I don't want to become a orphan!

The world is collapsing.

One creature climbed escaped
through the window - changed her mind.

The other returns money.
No order!

Don't get upset, Parfen Semyonich.

With your beauty and your wit
you will find your love without problems.

That's true.

But the essential thing is - means.

Say, for example, I got here to
have a quick meal.

And this louse in the apron shouts:
"We are closing! We are closing!"

And me - hop - like this, I just bought a restaurant.

Now it's opened for me every day at every hour.

You're good, prince. Though, ill.

No! No!

I am not ill anymore.
I totally rehabilitated.

And I am feeling bad, bro.

Nastya [Nastasya Filipovna] tortures me.

Open my eyes - see her.

Drink - going to her.

While asleep - talking to her.

Girls are so offended.

Tell me...

how to forget her?

How to get rid of this haunt?

I don't know.

Me, myself, I am also not indiffent
to Nastasya Filipovna.

But that's not passion,

More like a pity.

Very pity

I don't know why, but from the first
glance

I understood that she very pity
and lonely.

Heh, bro. We bear the same cross.

Let's exchange our crosses as a symbol
of affinity of misfortune.

I don't mind.

Why do you need this gun?

Let it be.

I should go, I am feeling more and more gentle...

Go, bro...

That's my decision:

Take Nastasya Filipovna...

But.. take care of her...

Would you like a ride?

I don't know. If you don't mind.

Why are you here?

Ganya, heavily drunk, called me

and proposed a marriage.

He told me that you went to Parfen Semyonich
to return the money and to beat him in the face.

Faster, faster!

Missed!

Fate!

What is your name?
- Hippolit.

So, Hippolit. I had a friend, thimblerigger.

Also Hippolit.

Your namesake, Hippolit.

He read a lot of books,

and, of course, he felt into depression.

And he decided settle a score with life.

This dunce went to the market
near the DK "Gorbunova",

and bought a hand grenade.

Instead of going to real market and buying a gun.

Then he wrote a story that he wanted to stop that farce

and to end his life in a formal manner.

In the evening he gathered his criminals friends in a joint on Presnya.

And the story in public.

His lads loved the story.

And so they awaited how would he
end all this and shoot himself.

And this imbicile takes a grenade - and pulls the pin.

Everybody got under their tables.

And the grenade appeared to be a blank.

What, I am asking, could he buy at "Gorbushka"?

Well, Hippolit in tears

that he could not die with honour.

And the gangsters came to senses,
climbed from the tables and...

beat Hippolit to death

for neglegant treat of the set goal.

That's how the literator accepted his fate
from another point.

That means that he had a fate to die.

Do you get it, waiter?

This is beatiful, isn't it?
- Very beautiful!

I always stop here... and piss.

And now I will piss with you.

What astonishing view!

And the weather.

Yesterday it dizzled a bit and today
cleared up.

We should drink for this. Would you like?

It fact, it's not recommended,
but for this occasion I won't refuse.

For the world revolution!

For Russia!

Mother!

Tell me, prince.

Were you really going to
marry Nastasya Filipovna?

All of you, what did you find in her?
She might have some grave diseases.

No, I felt pity for her and
I just wanted

to help.

She is counting on your feelings, prince...

Prince.

Prince, let's figure out something else.
It's so interesting with you.

Okay.

Let's go to the library.

By the way, Prince.

Do you have an intime love experience with women?

Of course, no.
- How were you going to get married?

This was my motive. What's the matter?

That's absolutely important.

I had a friend who married through ignorance...

and she did not like it at all.

What should I do?

You should have a lot of practice.

But with whom? And where?
- With me, for example. I don't mind.

And where? On the roof of the house number 6.

There's tar -

soft, warm and romantic.

I am ready.

Beyond all doubt, marriage has a lot of advantages.

But no one proposes to marry me.

Why is that "no one"? Nastasya Filipovna specifically does not want to marry you.

And me - quite on the contrary.

And now you have to say that you love me and will love forever.

I love you and will love forever.

Ok, then - jump back in your pants

and let's go ask for marriage. And there's an end to it.

Look...

Aglaya returned. And not alone.
- With whom?

Prince Muishkin, no more no less.
And still...

fools find each other.

Fool or not,
but he has much more money than you.

Accurate observation...

Maybe...

we shall buy them kayak and
send to the White sea?

Who knows, maybe they sink?

Papa, I am marrying
Lev Nikolaevich.

Accept my sincere congratulations.

How fast did you take my innocent and
naive daughter in hand.

I did not expect such speed.

Close to business, papa.

Ok, proceed.

Marriage for youth is like

a piece of french bread for a Papuan.

So, what is my dowry?

It's hard to say, my daughter.

Time is not standing still...

The earth is moving...

Maybe, canned meat?

Papa, we are not foreign!

Canned meat is chinese and outdated!
And its price dropped a half.

Maybe, stone tile?

Daughter, be merciful!

Tile is going to Tallinn tonight.

Maybe medicaments?

Best quality and always highly demanded.

Prices are stable.

I give you five wagons.
- Okay!

Alight, then proceed for a coffee.

And where are you planning to go for a honey moon?

We have not decided yet.

Be careful with a trip.

I saw the secret maps of General Staff.

There's no America.

So, I'd like to recommend

White Sea.

Take the kayaks...

and pladdle - splash-splash...

And we with Totsky are planning to go
to Antarctic for our honey moon.

No one ever goes there.

We will be the first just married to do so.

And stay there for living.

And, Totsky, old fart...

will at leasy preserve like in fridge.

Oof, Totsky, totsky...

I hope that Nastasya Filipovna does not send him...

to a sawmill instead of a trip.

For abuse of minors.

Vanya! It's better to speak about business with
Lev Nikolaevich...

Yes. That's true.

Aglaya, breing that diabolesque machine.

Beh...

I don't understand a thing here...

We have to call for the computer worker -
it should be broken...

Restart it and boot with a "Safe mode"...

Are you well in this?
- Yes, I am a programmer.

However, Dr. Schneider
did not recommend me this.

Because he was afraid
that I die of hunger.

And that's true - a couple of times
I really felt into swoons...

but did not give up the computer.

Go on, play with it a bit...

And we won't let you die of hunger.

Time for lunch, prince.

Prince...

Prince.

Time to go to registration office, they are wainting for us.

Get into the cars!

May you live happily!

Bad news...
- I am deeply nervous.

I demand you to observe the decencies!

Or I will call the police!

I won't call the police for fuck sake.

Let the youth talk...
I bet they are with passports already.

What does it mean?
Talk about what?

We talk about that what we want.

And what should I do now, abandoned?
- That is you abandoned?

Tell this to your club-headed orangoutang.

And are you willing to spoil the festive?

Is it a festive to pull price to the altar?

To make a cuckold of him with a tennis coach after that?

Or are you really planning to be a household wife?

bear him a bunch of kids and bake with pies with mayonaise?

Why do you care?

Or you want to make a family?
I doubt it!

Do not quarrel, girls.

He doesn't care who I am,
he loves me anyway.

That time he regretted you
like a three-legged a cat.

Prince.

Of course she is right...

All of them are right, of course...

But I'm not guilty, honestly, I want to love like everybody else.

And what do I do?

Poor...

Poor, poor thing!

My poor.

Epic dunce!

Why was he released from the hospital?

Death to the exploiters and programmers!

We will be together from the cradle to the grave,
my darling.

You're a nice man, prince...

But too unearthly.

Don't pity me. I absolutely do not deserve it.

Parfen is the only one who will do.

We are made from the same substance.

Precisely - of shit.
- Of shit.

Let's go, my love, we will register our love with music!

Let's go!
- Register what?

I am here not to ruin you, but to save!

What, wouldn't we get married?
- What for?

Let's go, my death! Start the engine!
- That's a second.

Farewell, Lev Nikolaevich.

I sincerely love you!

But I think that won't make you feel better.

Good bye, my poor knight!

And forgive me!

So, Prince? Shall we dope?

Varya made such a potion. We will have fun. She is a master!

I am with you!

Go away! Only loose a syringe on you.

We can go to my exhibition.

It's next door.

I have a good exposition.

Clouds in the sky, eternal wanderers...

Good luck, gentlemen.

No, thanks.

I am high just like this - in reality.
Without any potions.

I am always thinking,

why did I give away the money?

Everything was so well-going.

Interesting job.

A startup capital.

a small enterprise for recycling industrial waste.

And therefore improvement of disposition

and a good appetite.

Yes.

And all symptoms

that it's a strong solution.,

He gave away money for nothing.

Interesting job, incidental money

a small enterprise for recycling industrial waste...

and as a consequance improvement of disposition

and good appetite.

Definitely, it's not good.

Maybe, we will call an ambulance?

We will get high and save at the same time.

Don't worry, I know this mixture.

It comes always like this.

I am ready to listen to you all my biography!

But, really

He gave up money for nothing.

a small waste recycling

factory...

Wonderful appetite.

Your highness!

Mr Rogojin invites you today at 2PM

for a french lunch with candles,

at the house of one well-known dame.

Car is waiting.

And I recognized you.

We were together in a bus from Switzerland.

So, did you manage your affair?

Housing.

Beh, no time.

No rest with Parfen Semyonich!

Irrepressible person.

Please, excuse me, Parfen, that I am not properly dressed,

but you won't believe it. I drowned my jacket.

Skip it. There will be only friends.
Simply: me and you.

Make yourself at home, prince.
Taste my cuisine, I prepared it myself.

And don't forget vodka.

No better spirit for meat and poultry!

I don't know, should I?..

Frankly, I was close to starting drugs again today.

Eight years not even a cubic cm.

and today...
- No to drugs!

What is it?
Is it a real pleasure?

A chaos! And who invented them?
Ignorant hippies!

And vodka? Mendleyev himself!

A great scientist!

Father of periodic table of chemical elements!

Enlightened person!
- A mastermind!

And true vodka - it's not alcoholism,

it's a key to one's conscience.

It provokes a real wisdom.

There lived, for example, one man...

Knew no pity. Never cared.

And once he took a shot of vodka and went for a walk

saw an old poor lady

and he got so ashamed,

that he burns his life

A precious gift!

And he starts to think.

To plan a family.

Love and rest.

Like me, for example.

Do you think about it a lot?

Of course!

For a long time, can't even sleep!

I dry without love.

Well, now you have Nastasya Filipovna.

Now not only me.

And, by the way, how do you like the food?
- That's wonderful!

But I don't understand, in fact,

why did you decorate roast meat with flowers?

Ah... Bouquets...

But I wanted to make it nice.

I did my best, but you know, I am not a waiter.

Will we have another one?

Ok.

And how soon will Nastasya Filipovna come?

Never!

I killed her.

Our precious.

And how did this happen?

Simply...

So we returned home from your endless weddings.

Got some coffee. And vodka.

And she started me lecturing again.

Parasite!

Animal!

Get on your knees!

Well, I got on my knees!

Kiss my hands, animal!

I kissed.

I will chain you like a dog.

As much as you wish, - I say.

Feed me with shit, but don't turn me away!

This, we will see!

You still haven't passed the trail period, animal!

In the end, I punched
the muzzle into her mouth...

and pulled the trigger.

Something got into me...

How terrible!
- Terrible!

Terrible it is,

but there's no one to torture us anymore.

We will live like in a human way.

Where is she?

Can I kiss her last time?

In the bedroom. Go, give her a kiss.

I understand.

Said goodbye?
- Yes.

And where are her legs?

And what do you think we were eating?

I need to rethink everything.
- Go, if you need.

Can you wrap up a piece
for Gavriil Ardalionovich also?

Beauty will save the world!

Beauty will save the world!

Beauty will save the world!

Beauty will save the world!