The Story of How We Met

- [Announcer] Coming up.

(program beeps)

- [Both] One, two, three.

Rip off my shirt, get
the nipple tassels on.

- How morbid do you want me to go here?

- [Female Guest] Cillit Bang.

- Cillit Bang. (laughs)

- I think they just slime
all over themselves.

- Suddenly, this windscreen
is just that close to my face.

(program beeps)
(staticky white noise)

- This was broadcast live
on Stereo, which you can get

for free on the app store or Android

where you can follow my
profile and listen back

to all my other edited shows I've done.

There's PJ, there's Seth Everman.

And after you've checked out my shows,

maybe you wanna go live and
do a Stereo chat of your own.

So if you're over 18, you can
download it, and check it out.

(program beeps)

We are live on Stereo with my favorite PJ.

It's Kick the PJ!
- Hey! (laughs)

- Hello.

I like your little clown nose.

Is that Rudolph or is that a clown nose?

- I think it's clown nose,
but because it's Christmas,

I'll allow it to be Rudolph.
- Okay.

- But just tonight.
(bells jingling)

- I said you were my favorite PJ.

I think you actually are my favorite PJ.

- Even more than PJ and Duncan,

the only other PJ I can
conjure in my brain right now?

- In my heart, you are ranked higher

than peanut butter and jelly.

- Thank you very much.

Well definitely, you're
in the top 10 ranking

of my favorite films.
(Phil laughs)

So thank you.
- Thanks.

So firstly, I wanted
to say happy birthday.

- (gasps) Thank you very much.

A few days late, but
appreciate it, nonetheless.

- Well, happy birthday for the week.

Did you get anything good?

- Thank you.

- What was your best gift?

- I have this thing on the wall behind me,

this sad ghost light, that
was a present from Sophie,

which it's a neon is a neon sad ghost.

- I love it.

If I was describing it to the audience,

it makes your wall look like
it's haunted, but galactically?

- Galactically haunted,
I like that very much.

(both chuckle)

I also got some knives,

which were very handy.
- Some knives?

- Kitchen, I should
clarify, kitchen knives.

Not murderous equipment.

Kitchen knives become very handy

when you reach a certain
age and I'm very thrilled

with them, very sharp.

- It still sounds sinister,
I'm not gonna lie,

like that meme, what have you got PJ?

- A knife!
- No!

- A knife, no!

(both laugh)

- No.

- So I was thinking back to when I met you

for the first time PJ, it's been so long.

I think you're one of my oldest friends.

Like time has no meaning.
- Wow.

Yeah, it was quite a long time ago.

I definitely remember the place.

I wonder if we've got the same memory.

We'll say it at the same time.

Hold on, yeah.

We'll say it at the same time.

After three.

Okay.

(suspenseful synth music)

- [Both] One, two, three.

- New Year's Eve.
- New Year's party.

- Yay!
(bell chimes)

- Yes, hey, there you go.

- I remember it.

I think it was the first time
I'd properly met YouTubers,

so I was feeling very intimidated by you.

I thought you were gonna,
not that you're not cool,

but I had a feeling
that you might be like,

super cool and I wouldn't be cool enough

to be friends with you.
- Oh.

See, that's really
funny because I remember

when I first found you
on YouTube, I was like

"Damn, who's this cool uni guy?

He would never wanna
be friends with a dork

like me."
(Phil chuckles)

So I liked that we both
had this perception

that the other person was too cool.

(PJ laughs)
- Yeah, I know.

That's really funny.

So I think we met each
other and we were like,

cool off, who's cooler, okay,
we're both dorks, it's fine.

If we're both dorks, that's okay.

- Yeah, I think that's what
it turned out to be. (laughs)

- And the rest is history.

Another thing I'm very
excited about is the fact

that you are now a cat dad.

- I am.
(cat meows)

I've recently come into
the possession of a cat.

That sounds like I've stolen it.

- Yeah. (laughs)
- No, I have a cat now.

(laughs) I have a little cat,
little kitten called Fuji.

- Yeah?
- Who is six months yesterday.

Yesterday, she turned six months old.

- Oh, is she currently in the room or no?

- I wish she could be here right now

for the radio show, but
unfortunately, she's not.

- Well for everyone listening on Stereo,

you could have just lied
and made some cat noises

against the microphone,
you could have just been

like (purrs).
- Mm-hmm.

Is it too late, should we do a redo?

- Let's do it.

- Or should we do a retake?
- Everyone just forget.

- Wait a minute, who's that?

Wait a minute, she's right here.

- Oh my God.

(PJ meows and grumbles)

- Wow, she sounds like a
human doing a cat impression.

That's so weird.

- A lot of people have
said that about her.

(both laugh)

- So the thing with Stereo, which is cool,

is people can send in
little voice messages

for us and we've already got one.

Let's have a listen.

- Okay.
- PJ is the best PJ.

I can confirm.
(PJ laughs)

- PJ is the best PJ, it's
now confirmed by two people.

- Oh, that's amazing.

So even better than
pajamas, that's pretty cool.

- Oh, you see, I forgot about pajamas now.

- I'm gonna have to rank you down by one

because I basically live in pajamas.

I'm sorry.
- I mean, it's 2020.

2020, we all live in pajamas.

- It's true, they're the
most important commodity.

I've got another one as well.

- How Christmassy are you guys
feeling, on a scale of one

to 10 because I'd say at the
minute, I'm only about a three.

- I think three is quite low.

I've had my first mince pie
which always ups my festiveness.

Advent calendar has been helping and then,

my beautiful tree, which I've
had many loving complements.

- I've only just noticed the tree fail.

That's very Christmassy. (laughs)

- It is, it screams festive.

It's like being smacked in the
face by Santa, I would say.

- Yeah, I'm feeling pretty Christmassy.

I'm wearing a Christmas jumper right now,

which is one of the many
staples of Christmas time.

I think I had a mince pie in November.

I don't know if that's cheating.

- That's sacreligious and Santa
will return all your gifts

and kick you in the face on the way out.

- Do I get to at least keep the knives?

- I mean, he's probably not
gonna want to come in the house

after knows you've got knives
for Christmas, PJ. (laughs)

- No, I imagine not.

I'm a solid seven out of 10, I would say.

- Oof!

You're beating me with the
Christmas jumper, I'm hear

in a NASA T-shirt, but I guess
space could be quite festive.

They're like twinkling lights in the sky.

- Oh, absolutely.

I mean, they must celebrate
Christmas in space, right?

As in, I'm talking about
bringing people in space ships

and, you know, astronauts not like aliens.

- I thought you were talking about aliens

who actually celebrate.

- Yeah, I feel like aliens
would definitely have

different holidays, much more
exciting holidays than us.

- Yeah what do you think an
alien would do on their holiday?

(crickets chirp)

(both laugh)

- That's such a--
- PJ's face was like

(both laugh)
"Oh no."

- No, I should have expected
this, I should've come prepared

with top 10 things aliens
do on their holidays.

- I think they just slime
all over themselves.

- Mm.
- That came out wrong.

- Slimy, slimy alien.
(Phil laughs)

Yeah, slimy Christmas holidays.

I mean honestly, that's
mostly what I do on Christmas.

So am I an alien?
- Same.

(laughs) One more, let's have a listen.

- [Legoegg] Any advice for
becoming a new cat parent?

- Give 'em all the attention
all day, every day,

and they will grow to be content with you.

- Yes.
I don't know

if Fuji necessarily loves
me, I definitely love her,

but I feel like a cat,
(cat meows)

maybe it takes a little
longer than you expect

to truly love you.
(Phil laughs)

- A cat takes a while to
suss you out, don't they?

They need to get in to where
they're with the sussage

and they'd be like, oh,
that sounded like sausage.

(PJ laughs)
Sussage.

(both chuckle)

Get in there.
- Different way

of saying sausage.
- Sussage. (chuckles)

- Yeah, that was a good one and Legoegg,

I think you're eggy from my quiz, maybe.

If you are, hello again, thanks

for coming back to our show again.

- Egg-gain.

(comedic drum set music)

- So speaking of animals today,

I thought we could have the topic

of unfortunate animal incidents.

(lively chacha music)

Because you've done so well with your cat.

I've done so well with
rehabilitating a pigeon.

I thought there might be some
other stories in our lives

where we've been less
successful with animals.

- Here's the thing.

I mean, how morbid do
you want me to go here?

- We can do morbid on
this show, it's fine.

Well, I'm slightly scared.
- Yeah, we can go morbid.

- Does it involve your knives?

- Well, no, not my knives.
- Okay.

- (laughs) It's quite
traumatic, but I guess we'll go

for it and see what happens.
- Let's do it.

- See if it makes the
final cut of the video.

(lively chacha music)

Sophie and I, we were driving
home from Peterborough

to Brighton, we were visiting
my parents' house and we were

on the trip back.

And weirdly enough actually,
the night before this,

I was talking to my auntie
and she was telling me

how when she was younger, a
pheasant rammed into their car

or it might've been the other way around.

Their car went into a pheasant
and it got all trapped

in the car.
- Oh my gosh.

- It was horrible, it sounded horrible.

Yeah, it was a nice story.
- Traumatizing.

- And so weirdly enough, on
the drive home the next day,

we're on the motorway and
this is absolutely 100% true,

I can send you photos of my
car if you don't believe me,

out of nowhere, a bird smashed

into our windscreen right
in front of our faces,

and just shattered the entire windscreen.

- No.

While you're driving?

- Yeah, whilst we were driving

at 70 miles per hour on the M25.

So Sophie was actually the driving,

fortunately, because I was a wreck.

I was screaming 'cause I was
playing on my Nintendo Switch

and then I look up, it was
a split second and suddenly,

this windscreen is just
that close to my face

and it's just smashed.
- No.

- And it was just horrible
and yeah, so we pulled over.

We tried to get some help and like I said,

this is not a nice story
and in my head cannon,

the bird just flew away unscathed

and was totally fine.
(owl coos)

- Well if you didn't see the
bird, then it probably did.

I mean, they're quite resilient.

As long as it wasn't going (clucks)

into the windshield as you were driving.

It's crazy it happened
after that story, though.

Do you think it was the curse of the bird

was released by the story?
(owl hooting)

- It might have been a bird
curse, it might have been.

- Do you know the movie, "The Ring"?

You've just told this story now.

We're all gonna get smacked
in the face by a pheasant

next time we're out and about.
- (gasps) Oo.

- I'm gonna go to the shops, have a walk,

and one's just gonna fly
directly into my face.

- I think that's exactly
what's gonna happen.

I would wear protective,
shielded clothing.

Maybe armor, do you have armor?

- Well, I'll wear my COVID mask

and then a separate
pheasant mask over my face.

- (chuckles) That's probably
for the best, I think.

What about you, do you
have any animal stories?

So speaking of birds, this
is so gross by the way.

So if anyone is super
grossed out by gross things,

go make a cup of tea or something.

But I had a job interview at
a well-known stationary store.

We're gonna call it Smuggle U H Swiff.

And that was really--
- (chuckles) Oh,

I love Smuggle Blue (mumbles).

(Phil mumbles and coughs)

- My dad always said
to me, "If you're going

to a job interview, wear a
suit no matter what the job,"

which has a very old
fashioned thing to say,

but I was like, "You know what, Dad?

You've lived a good life, I'm
not gonna ignore your advice."

So I had my nice suit on,
I left my university house

to go get interviewed
for this part-time job

and I was halfway to the bus stop

when I heard a rustling in the trees.

What do you think was
rustling in the trees, PJ?

- A bat? (chuckles)
- It was a bat. (laughs)

- A pheasant?
- No, no.

- (laughs) It was (laughs)
it was a pheasant bat.

- I was happy for a second, though.

- No, it was a pigeon,
but not just a pigeon.

It was a wood pigeon.

Have you ever seen one, a wood pigeon?

- A wood pigeon?

- Yeah.
- No, I have not.

Do you know like Pokemon evolve?

It's like the second form of a pigeon,

like a Pidgmeleon.
- Oh, like a pidgeotta.

- Pidgeotto!
- Yes, okay.

- Why did I go to Pidgemeleon?

Anyway--
- Pidgemeleon.

- Pidgemeleon.
(PJ laughs)

I looked up to see this wood pigeon

and as I looked up, it
pooed directly onto my face.

It waited for me to look up, but not

only that, my mouth was slightly open,

so the pigeon poo hit my
top lip, a little bit went

in my mouth and the rest
of it dripped onto my suit

like some kind of dodgy white stain.

(chuckles)
It was so gross.

It was so gross.
- Did you get the job,

is what I'm wondering.

- Well, I was luckily only
halfway to the bus stop.

So I ran back, tried to get into the house

but the housemates had locked the door.

And then I had to go to the
'round the side of the house

and there's an outdoor
tap and my neighbors,

who were in the kitchen,
saw me just rinsing my mouth

out in this outdoor tap,
and then scrubbing my suit

to get rid of the pigeon poo.

I can still remember the
taste, it was very chalky.

That's all I'm gonna say.
(PJ groans)

Everyone's just stopped listening.

- That's amazing.
- We've gone

to zero listeners. (laughs)

Sorry, everyone.

Okay, you're safe again now.

- I was close to hanging up.

Only you that could happen to.

- I know, I did get the job though.

So they say pigeon poo brings good luck.

Well, it brought good luck.
- Hmm.

All you've gotta do is eat it.

- Yeah, I'm not sure how healthy that is

for you, but maybe if it just goes

on your shoulder, I think that counts.

I'm hearing seagulls outside,
which is super weird,

'cause it's nighttime.
(birds squawking)

And also, I live in London.

Have you sent some from Brighton

as a vendetta against me, PJ?

Is this the start of the bird curse?

- Yes, yes I did actually,
I sent them this morning.

I'm glad that they've reached you safely.

- I knew it, all right.

- They should have a little
note attached to them as well.

- We've got some submissions.

Oh, I'll change the topic actually.

I'm just gonna change the topic.

Are we saying this is comedy or news?

I think it's comedy.

- I mean, both of our
animal stories so far

have probably not been news or comedy.

- No. (laughs)
- But we can go with comedy.

They're just horrible events.

- Yeah, we've just told horrible stories.

Okay, here's one.

- [Dandermifflin] I don't know why,

but birds typically hate me.

Every time I've gone into a pet store,

I've almost always gotten bitten.

There was this cute bird named Peekaboo

and I thought we were
getting along, and then bam.

It was unpleasant.

- Bam, what was the bam?

It just pecked your face off?

- It Peekabooed you.
(laughing)

- Peeka (squawks).

I've had too much sugar today, I'm sorry.

- It's another bird curse.
(spooky hooting)

- [Phil] The bird curse is spreading.

- It's another bird curse.

- Right, let's hear this
other Stereo message.

Who've we got?

- [Madswut] When I was younger,

me and my brother had hermit crabs

and one of the hermit crabs died,

and then the other hermit
crab ate the one that died

and it was really traumatizing.

- No!

That is so traumatizing.
(laughing)

These have been so dark, oh my God.

- That's sad, it's dark comedy.

- Maybe the crab was just
like, gaining his power.

Like if it was playing
Dark Souls or something.

So it was getting to be like a super crab.

(video game music)

Do you know, I got quite sad
because I was quite excited

to have snails in my fish tank and I've

been becoming quite attached to them

and being like, "Yes, they're my friends.

They know who I am."

But then someone posted
on Reddit, I think it was,

saying that snails have
no brains and they're

basically plants and just
responding to stimulus.

I'm like, my snails have
definitely said hello

to me with their little antennas.

- Even if that was the
case, like what a life.

Just sort of existing, that
might not be so bad, you know.

- I know and also, we don't
know everything about animals.

You can't just be like,
"That's the science,"

because they could be
having galaxy brain ideas

in those little snail shells.

- They're probably one of the
most intelligent mollusks,

I think.
- Take that, science.

- [Pttias] We had a fish
that jumped out of his tank

and we didn't know until the cat came,

carrying the fish in its mouth.

Everyone was okay, the fish was okay.

We put him back in a tank and he lived

for quite a while after.

- That was such a big plot twist.

I thought we were gonna go down a line

of depressing animals
stories for everyone,

but that's our ray of hope
at the end of the story.

- [PJ] Yeah, immortal fish,
it survived a cat attack.

That's kind of impressive, to be honest.

- I can't believe it survived that.

That fish deserves a medal.

If fish could get medals, I
would give that fish a medal.

Well for the next little chat,

I thought we could play a
game called Bucket of Doom.

Can I get a dramatic noise?

♪ Ba da ba da dum ♪

♪ Ba ba, ba ba ba bum ♪
(dramatic music)

- Very dramatic.
- Thank you.

Bucket in Doom, Bucket in Doom?

Bucket of Doom requires
us telling a scenario

that we need to get out of, but we get out

of the scenario by using items
submitted by the audience.

So you could submit
something like a flamingo,

Sellotape, anything you
want, just a one word item

that we can use to get out
of a terrible scenario.

- I've got a scenario, I'm
quite proud of this one.

So do you want it now?
- Okay.

Yeah, bring it on.

- You're buried alive.

However, luckily, you were buried

with your favorite two items.
- Oo!

- What are they?

- [Eliza] Cillit Bang.

- Cillit Bang, which
is a cleaning product,

for anyone listening anywhere else.

It's like an antiseptic spray.

- [Peachygummii] Eyeliner.

- How are you gonna get out
of this six foot deep grave,

using Cillit Bang and some eyeliner, Phil?

- Okay, so I'm in the grave.

I've been buried alive by the birds,

(both laugh)
which have now cursed us.

Thanks, PJ.

I'm like, "You know what,
this grave is super gross.

I'm gonna clean it with some Cillit Bang."

So I start spraying the
grave from the inside,

give it a polish, and my
vigorous polishing starts

(laughs) to rub away at the wood.

So I'm rubbing the wood,
I'm polishing it hard.

It's breaking open the coffin,
but it's not there yet.

I think, "You know what would
fully break open this coffin?

Some air guitar."

You can't do air guitar without
looking like a rockstar,

so I whack on the eyeliner,
I start strumming away

on my air guitar, and I
just break out the coffin.

- (laughs) That sounds very successful.

Congratulations on escaping on escaping,

Phil, that sounds amazing.
- Thank you.

All right, PJ, you're in
the coffin and you're given.

- [Kinley_phillie] A
Christmas Tree! (laughs)

- A Christmas tree!
- This is a full coffin.

- And...

- [Thefloorhatesme] A guitar.

- Now, I don't wanna just
steal your guitar idea

and just rock out to blow the Earth away.

- I feel like you've been
cheated with the guitar one

'cause it's so similar, but
you can still get there.

- Yeah, I mean, that seemed
to work pretty well for you.

So I'll probably rock out with the guitar

to try and blast away some of the Earth,

kind of Scott Pilgrim style.

I'm thinking maybe the
airwaves will (mimics blasting)

blast them away, yeah.
(chirping)

But it will be Christmas songs.

I will embrace the fact that I have

been buried with a Christmas tree.

Who buried me with a Christmas tree?

Dear God.
- That was very dark.

- I'll play some rockin' Christmas tunes

and I'll blast my way out
of there. (mimics blasting)

- I know you like canoeing,
so I've chosen one

that you're in a canoe.
- I do.

- You're in a canoe, you're
going through the Arctic

when a killer whale starts
nibbling the edge of your canoe.

What you gonna use?
- Okay.

- You need to get out of this with.

- [Ameliew] Some glow sticks.

- Some glow sticks.
- Glow sticks, yup.

- [Supermurksi] Drum set
that flies when you play it.

- First of all, I'm gonna
take the glow sticks.

I'm gonna strap them
'round my arms and my legs.

So I look very cool and luminescent.

I don't know if it's becoming night.

I don't know if it's getting dark,

but I'm gonna need to
be seen by the sailors.

- (laughs) Just the
miscellaneous sailors out there.

- The sailors.
- The generic sailors.

- The generic sailors at sea,
and then I'm gonna start,

(mimics drum roll) I'm
gonna do some drums.

I'm gonna probably play
some Trivium or something,

just something like "Through
the Fire and Flames,"

something with a really fast drum beat.

And I'm gonna fly my way
away from this killer whale.

- (laughing) I think the
fact that the drum set flies

really helped you out there.

- Honestly, I wouldn't have been able

to survive without it,
I don't think. (laughs)

I think I would have
just been paddling away

on the drum set, like on the snare drum,

just paddling away.
- Get me out of here.

- What about you, Phil?

- [Jaiya] A bottle of
hand sanitizer. (chuckles)

- A bottle of hand sanitizer?

- Did you hear that little laugh

at the end as well?
- Yeah, thanks for that one.

- They know that they've
screwed you, Phil.

- [Charlibaby] Nipple tassels.

- I would say that
(laughs) you've been given

some much trickier items than me,

but let's see what you got.
(laughs)

- Right, well I think the
only thing that I can do

is cover myself in the
jelly-like hand sanitizer,

whip off my shirt, get
the nipple tassels on,

and just do a sexy dance for that whale.

And it's gonna be so disturbed,
it will swim away. (laughs)

- Best case scenario, it swims
away from being disturbed.

Worst case scenario, you get
swallowed Pinocchio style,

but I think it could work.
- Either way.

- Okay, so my other scenario that I've got

was you are an assassin, a
Satsuma assassin, and you have

been targeted with killing
a very important person,

FBI type of person.
- Ooh.

The bird king.

- Without getting caught.

Bird king, yeah, you've
gotta kill the bird king

without getting caught.

- Okay.
- How are you gonna do it?

- [Polishedavocado] A fish.

- [Compilerror] A squirrel
with a very high IQ.

(PJ laughs)
- Okay, right.

So I get into the room of the
bird king and everyone knows

that squirrels and fishes can
work together if they need to.

However, the squirrel has such a high IQ,

it eats the fish for sustenance.

And then I say, "I'll give you more fish

if you go rip the neck out of that guy."

So I feed it the fish,
release the squirrel,

and it just goes on a full killing spree.

And I've been attacked
by a squirrel before.

I know they're vicious little mites

and yeah, I kill him.
(chuckling)

- Successfully, yeah,
that sounds good to me.

- Let's get your items, right.

PJ, you're gonna have two items.

- [01chantelle] A single
piece of burnt popcorn.

- [Invisibledh] A fingernail.

- PJ, you're getting the hardest ones.

You've got a fingernail and
a piece of burnt popcorn.

Right, the bird king's like, "Hello,

you gonna kill me?"
- Okay, I think I've got it.

Here's what I'm gonna do.

- Biotch.

- (laughs) I'm gonna
combine the fingernail

with the piece of popcorn and
now, it is common knowledge,

everybody knows that bird kings
love to eat burnt popcorn.

- Do they?
- So I'm gonna waltz up

to him, yeah, I'm gonna waltz up to him

in my bird disguise, covered in feathers.

I don't know if that's allowed.

I've got a assassin bird disguise.

And I say, "Uh, excuse me, bird king,

would you care to partake
in a piece of popcorn?"

And he'll say, "I would love a piece

of popcorn, thank you very much."

And then upon chomping
it and swallowing it,

the nail is gonna get stuck in his throat

and he's gonna choke and die.
- Oh!

- You sabotaged him with the fingernail!

- And I'm not gonna do the Heimlich,

I'm not gonna resuscitate him,
Phil, I'm gonna let him die.

- Wow. (laughs)

- Well, I think the ingenuity
of putting the fingernail

in the popcorn, I'm gonna
say you won that one.

I'm gonna say you won
it, you got hard objects.

(chuckles)
So PJ wins the game!

(kids cheering)
- Thank you.

Yay! (laughs)
- Woo! (clapping)

I'm sure you guys would agree.

There's lots of applause
coming in to Stereo,

so I figure that means
that you were correct.

You did win the game.

- Yeah, those were some
very horrible scenarios.

- They were.

So the other day I got
one of those memories

that's like, "Remember this,
seven years ago or whatever?"

And the memory was with
you, PJ, and it was

when you completely covered
my face in newspaper.

- Oh, yeah!
- Do you remember that?

- (laughs) Yeah, I do.

I just about remember that, yes, I do.

We made a little short film
called "The Forever Train"

quite some years ago,
you said seven years ago?

- I don't know how many years,
it was an amount of years.

- Sounds about right, six
or seven years ago, yeah.

- You played a character
called Mr. Newspaper.

- (laughs) I did.

- Which required us to cover
your face in newspaper.

And we did some special
sort of camera trickery

to hide your body and make it just look

like your face was in a newspaper.

And I thought it turned out really well.

- I was living the dream as the newspaper,

but what we didn't realize is papier-mache

when it's attached to skin, it
shrinks and dries very hard.

So we were like, "Yeah,
this is fine, this is okay."

And then the papier-mache started

to enclose my face slightly, so I felt

like I was actually
becoming a human newspaper.

Which I think helped with my acting.

- Yeah, I mean the acting was flawless.

I believed for a second,
you were a newspaper,

so it did the trick, I think.

- It certainly did the trick, and I think

if a casting director watched that scene,

they would instantly cast me in "10x 2."

- As newspaper number eight.

(talking over each other)
Or in a stack of newspapers.

- Keep your filthy hands off my wife.

- Something about you, PJ, is that I feel

like you were really good at acting,

from when I've seen.
- Really?

- Yeah, no, when I've seen you in things,

you're really good, but I do
not have that skill myself.

- Thank you very much.

- When I try and act, I just
get the words of the script

in my head and I just sound like a bit

of a robot that forgets
how to enunciate sentences.

I'm like, "What, no, over there?" (laughs)

Do you just get into the
character in your head?

Do you pretend you're the
character, how does it work?

- Yeah, I mean, it
depends on the character.

I think my favorite character to play is

this clown called Wiggles the Clown

and I think it helps to get in costume,

get everything dressed up and then

just become the character for a bit.

I wouldn't say I've ever done anything

that's so big that requires method acting.

But I think if I ever did, if
I did like a big, big film,

I think I would probably
wanna do some kind

of method acting where you just stay

in character for the whole thing.

So I think that could really help.

- I think that could help.

I think when I see Wiggles, I do feel

like it's a different person.

I think that's a good sign
that the acting is working.

- Yeah, it feels like a different person.

I always feel like I've
become someone else,

and I'm not even
exaggerating for the purpose

of this conversation, I genuinely feel

like I've become someone else.

- Ooh, slightly spooky, but also exciting.

I just noticed on my
computer, I've got another.

We're not gonna do another Bucket of Doom.

I just wanna tell you this scenario

that was also written down.

You're on a solo Arctic trek.

You go for a pee, which
immediately freezes,

locking you to the ice.

I got that from the actual
Bucket of Doom card.

Could that happen?

A pee stream would come out of you

and then just hit the ice and
then freeze you to the ice?

- You'd have to be in very below
zero temperatures for that.

- But it might!

I've seen those videos of people in Russia

who get hot water, throw it into the air,

and it turns into snow.

So your pee stream could
freeze you to the ground.

- [PJ] We need to go on a trip
to the Arctic and test this.

- Yeah, should we do an eight
part Netflix series called,

I don't think we should
call it "Pee Stream."

(both laugh)

- No, I can see that,
with beautiful drone shots

and everything of the Arctic.

It's like "127 hours," but
narrated by David Attenborough.

- Yeah.

- I think we're onto something there.

I think we're onto something.

- Episode seven, Phil's
had eight lemonades

and we're ready for the experiment.

(chuckles)
- Sorry, everyone.

The last thing which I've
been asking my guests about

is beard Phil, did you witness beard Phil?

What did you think about beard Phil?

- I think there are definitely some

of those beards that work.

(laughs)
- Oh, you're on team beard!

- Yeah, I'm on team beard, yeah.

I mean, I think we're kind of both similar

in that were always pretty clean shaven,

but I think you could rock a beard.

I think anyone can rock a beard.

I think it all depends on
what your hair's doing.

So my theory on this is, 'cause
you've got quite neat hair

and I think having a beard works,

but what I think what doesn't work is

having a scruffy beard, and having like,

'cause I've got quite
wily hair, look at this.

I'm like a cave person, I'm like a dog.

(Phil laughs)
So I don't know

if it would work on me, necessarily.

- I'd like to see some
beard edits of PJ, at least.

Well PJ, this has been a wild ride.

Go check out PJ's YouTube
channel, his Twitter,

his everything, I'm
gonna put it all below.

He's doing loads of stuff
on Twitch, which is great.

So if you wanna go check
out his Twitch stream,

you can go give that a watch.

You can hang out with PJ for hours.

- Love to see it, thank you.

- Well, thanks for coming, Peej!

- Yeah, no, thank you.

Thank you for having me, I enjoyed it.

- Bye!

(computer whirring)

If you wanna check out
my full chat with PJ,

you can click the link below.

We talk about the ocean and
also if we'd get a tattoo.

- [PJ] First of all, do
you have any tattoos?

- [Phil] I've got seven on my butt cheek.

Also, if you wanna
broadcast with a friend,

for the next week around
9 p.m. each evening,

I'm gonna be checking out
the hashtags, FESTIVEFAILS,

WEIRDFOODCOMBOS, AMAZINGPHIL,
and AWKWARD INCIDENTS.

And I might pop into your chat and say hi.

So if you wanna do that, grab a friend

and click the link below.

- Oh my God, it's happening already.

- Oh my God, they're coming through.

- Oh, I don't like that.

- Have you seen this one?

- Yeah, I'm looking at it.
- That looks good.

- I don't like that.
(laughing)

- Oh my God, Peej, you see it?

I think one summer, especially
with the Hawaiian shirt,

Hawaiian shit, beard and hair?

- You know what?
- Good luck.

- Well, actually I don't mind that one.

The one with the Hawaiian
shirt, that I quite like.