ANGRY RED BUTTON (REACT: Gaming)

♪ (upbeat theme music) ♪

- "Angry Red Button"?

- "Angry Red Button."

- I'm guessing that I should
press the angry red button.

- One of my favorite things
to do is hit buttons,

so I feel like this game's
gonna be pretty all right.

- It looks so seemingly simple,
which usually means it's not.

- Is it just me pressing a red button?

'Cause I feel like that
would make me angry.

- Start.

- "Chapter 1," all right.

- "A New Start."

- "Good morning!" Hey, button.

- Do I press "good morning"?
I'm gonna press "good morning."

- "Hello."

- "'Sup?"

- Not even gonna say hi to me?

- "It's Friday, last day at work, guys."

I like how this guy's super
positive and spontaneous.

- "Woohoo!" Yellow button.
I hope this is the entire game.

- "Woohoo!"

"Yeah."

- Still don't like you, Angry
Red Button. What's your deal?

- Red Button is kinda introverted.

- This bitch, dot dot dot. All right.

"Hey, Red. Are you all right?"

- I'd be better if I knew
what was going on.

- "Are you all right?"

The pessimist of the group, man.

- "A bit tired."

"Everybody always pushing me." Okay.

- "See. The day just began.

And I'm already the one
everyone wants to click."

- "It always happens every time. Again."

Just shut up, bro.

- This is getting
depressing really quickly.

- "And again and again and again...

and FREAKING AGAIN!"

- "But this destiny
is mine..." dot dot dot.

"And..." dot dot dot,
"I have to live with it."

- Dot dot dot.

- Dotdotdotdotdotdotdotdotdotdot.

- Okay. All right. All right, okay.

Dot-dot-dot-dot all around.

- "Hey, you know what?

You could just leave."

- "Yeah, yeah! Nobody's watching."

What? I'm right here, guys. Screw you.

- "Really?" "Bro, we got your back."

- "Let's go, Red. You deserve it."

"For shizzle!"

- "Just do it!"

- Are they peer-pressuring
this red button to do whatever?

"We won't say a thing." "Do it."
Yeah, it is peer pressure.

- "Okay, I'm doing it."

Oh shit, he bounced.
Oh, he wasn't playing.

- "Okay, I'm doing it."

Where's he going?

- All right, so he just
gets up and leaves?

- "Goodbye, my friends."

"Goodbye, Red."

- "Take care." "See ya, bro."

- Damn, savage. Just left the keyboard.

- Is he gonna go on
an adventure or something?

- How would he just get up
and leave? I don't understand.

- "Broken Dreams," "Chapter 2," okay.

The positivity's just amazing.

- "Finally I can rest." Not really.

- Okay. Well, now it's sleeping.

- This is... "Zzzzzzz."

- "Zzzzzz... hmm?

Who's there?"

- "Who's there? Oh, it's you.

Can't you see I'm sleeping?
So you're blind?" No, man.

- "So you're blind?" No,
I'm just pissed off at you.

- "Can't you see I'm sleeping?"

Well, yeah, but I don't know
what I'm supposed to do.

I'm not--

Man, this is a mean button.

- "Don't get me mad."

What are you gonna do?
You're on a computer screen.

"ARE YOU DUMB?" YES!

- "Pushing buttons like an idiot?

'Cause that's what you are."

Bro, hey, you need to chill, square up.

- "'Cause that's what you are, an idiot."

I feel so insulted.

- I'm a stupid idiot.

- "A stupid..." whoa, "retarded human."

Well, you're just a stupid button!

- (snickering) "An idiot."

"A stupid... retarded human

with no life... no brain...
and nosy fingers."

- "Would you stop?" No,
now you made me mad.

"YOU KNOW WHERE YOU CAN PUT YOUR FINGER?"

- "You know where
you can put your finger?"

Oh no.

- "You know where
you can put your finger?"

Up yours! (laughs)

"YEAH, RIGHT THERE!" Woo!

- "I hate you." I hate you too!

- "Okay, well... let's see
if you're that good."

Oh, I am. Trust me.

- He's getting tricky.
I'm gonna get him though.

- I'ma catch you. No. Mm-mm.

Come back. Come back. Come back.

- It's going pretty fast. Oh shit.

All right, I got to get that kill shot.

- Nope. Nope.

(softly) Yes! Okay.

This is ridiculous.

- I'm hoping it'll just come into
the crossfire of my mouse.

- Yeah! Oh! Dang it!

- Can't even catch up
to it anymore. (chuckles)

- No.

- This button should be
an Olympic athlete, jeez.

"That was easy." Maybe for you!

(rapid clicking)

(scoffs) "That was easy."

Oh my-- this red button, I swear.

I swear. That was not easy.

- "But hard for a primate like you.

Yeah, you heard!" Gets all in your face.

- (mockingly) "I'm a super
high-tech material."

You're a stupid button.

(chuckling) "I'm immortal and you're not."

Until I punch through you.

- "In fact, you should worship
me. Stop pushing me.

You need special permission to do that."

- "I'm celestial.

And you're sh--" whoa, bro.

0 to 100. What the hell was that?

"I just want a bit of rest,
and you stupid asshole...

you broke that dream."

- I broke what dream?

- "I hate everything."

(grumpily) Well, so do I.
It's called being a teenager.

(rapid clicking)
- I'm not even gonna

read your stupid comments anymore.

I'm just gonna keep pressing
you until you explode.

- I don't want to say that.

The red button's done, basically.

Well, I'm done too. But I don't quit.

- "Chapter 3: Catch Me."

- "So you think you can fly?"

- "Try to catch me." Again?

- Oh no. Stop moving.

- Okay. "And now?"

(overwhelmed) Oh god.

It's like when you hold
magnets close to each other,

and it's going the opposite-- oh, shit.

- Trying to stay in the same spot again,

but I don't know if it's
doing the same thing.

- Oh, this is annoying.

Oh, it's red. Woo! He's blending in.

- Got to get close to him.

Got to cut off the corner.

Oh, damn.

- Is my mouse actually affecting
any part of this game right now?

I really can't tell.

I feel like it is, but I also--

Oh, sh-- oh, all right. (chuckles)

Can't even see the damn thing
with the background.

- (takes a deep breath) I can do this.

- (growls in frustration)

♪ (synthesizer music) ♪

- Aha.

Oh, he's slowing down.
He's sad and resigned.

- "Crap. I know a place
you won't dare go."

I'm gonna still end up going there.

(snickers) No.

I can't.

- "I know a place you won't dare go."

Oh sh-- all right. That's a little...

- Oh. Ugh. (disgusted) Mm.

- Ew.

- I don't want to even
press him now. This is gross.

- Very interesting. Hopefully
you don't move anymore.

- (gasps) No.

- No. I don't want to drag it that way.

- (chuckling in disgust)

What is the point?

- (laughs)

- Guys, the game is winning. Okay.

- Okay. I did it.

- Ew.

Ah, eh, ew.

I don't want to touch that shit no more.

(amused) "You nasty son of a bitch!"

- "Even here, you won't stop clicking."

- "Now go away.
It's impossible to find me."

- Like, I can't find a red button.

- "Now go away. It's
impossible to find me here."

I found you.

- Okay, I already see you.

- (to himself) Oh god.

Aha!

"Crap." You thought you could hide.

- I'll just wait until my cursor
turns into a finger.

There you are.

- No, man, you're fucking red, you idiot.

You're a dumb ass, bro.
Honestly, you deserve to get clicked.

- Okay. Onto Chapter 4.

- I want to just fight him.

- "Chapter 4: Chocolate Chips."

♪ (mellow funk music) ♪

Dot dot dot.

- "Why don't you go play outside?

I'm sure you're fat."

- "I'm sure you're fat."

I am... average.

- "'Cause you prefer harassing people..."

- All fat people harass people?

Oh, "than go play outside." All right.

- This button has problems.

This button needs to get a support
group and get some friends.

- "350 pounds?" Oh, close. 355.

- "You're definitely fat."

This is a mean button.

- You're definitely
a stupid inanimate object.

- "Hey. Fatty fatty?"

No, I don't want a cookie.

- Hell yeah, I want a cookie.
I'm hungry right now.

- I don't deserve it. Why not?

(amused) "Banzai!"

(game chimes)

"Who dares trespass on my counter--"

Am I getting points?

Is the button gonna get mad at me?

- "Hi, I'm Red."

"Oh, you're not looking great, my friend."

- "Yeah, it's that guy over there."

Oh, he's getting more
inanimate objects to fight me.

- Are they gonna team up on me?

- "That fatty right there." Oh my god!

This is so-- this is terrible.

- I swear, I'm gonna punch
this computer screen.

- "Hey, fool!" Oh my god.

- "Stop pushing my friend."

- "Pick on someone your own size."

I will, big cookie. Come fight me, biatch.

- "Yeah, biatch!"

- "Leave us alone."
They ARE in love. This is great.

"Banzai!" Oh my god.

(cookies rattle)

- (whispers) No.

- Oh shit. Squad up or what?

- (whimpering)

- I feel bad. I'm, like,
murdering these cookies.

"Ouch"? Who's saying "ouch"?

- (fiercely) I will break
all your cookie friends!

You will have no one!

- I just have to kill all the cookies.

- Yo, how many cookies
you have in here? Damn.

(cookies crumbling rapidly)

- Feel like I'm getting all my
stress and anger out right now.

(cookies crumbling rapidly)

(in game: infuriated scream)
- "ENOUGH!!!"

Oh. He looks mad.

(in game: infuriated scream)
- (laughs) "ENOUGH!"

(in game: infuriated scream)

- Oh.

(in game: infuriated scream)

- Shit. "Enough!"

- We're gonna have a duel eventually.

Here it is, "Fight Back." Bring it on.

- "Fight Back"! Round one.

- "Push me again,
and you'll see what happens."

All right, bro. Let's get it.

- (gruff voice) "Here's the
consequences of your act."

(high-pitched) Beep.

(saw buzzing)
(screams)

- (gasps deeply)

- These consequences are awful.

- Oh shit.

(chop!)
Oh, my finger.

Oh, he wants to fight now.

- What the f-- I don't want to do this.

He's trying to chop off my finger.

(chop!)
Aah! Dah! Just the sound.

(chop!)
- What happened? Did I get hurt?

Oh, so I can get hurt by the saws?

- (chuckles fiendishly)

Uh-oh.

(chop!)

(chop!)
Okay.

- There's no way to press it
without hitting the saw.

- I just can't hit the edges.

- I'm gonna die. I already know it.
(chop!)

- This is hard.

- There's only one time
when they're completely sep--

(chop!)

I see the hand come up,
which means I can press it.

(chop!)

- Apparently I failed.

(chop!)

Chopped!

What's up now, right?
What's up? Let's get it.

(saw whirring)

(chop!)

- I failed.

I had it in the beginning.
With one, it's easier.

- Aha!

- That's easier.

Oh, okay.

(saws buzzing)

- This is stressful.

- I'm like more than halfway dead.

But I can do it.

- I'm glad this doesn't have a timer,

'cause I'm really bad
at timed games like this.

- In the middle.

Oh, I'm tripping out right now.

(distorted buzzing)
- What the? All right.

Okay, this is like an acid trip now?

(distorted buzzing)
- Ugh!!!

Gonna have, like, a seizure.

- My eyes, though. Oh my god.

(buzzing gets faster, warped)

- This feels like a banned
episode of Pokémon.

(blades chiming)
- Woo!

Suck on that, ya stupid button.

- I can't see anything.

- Gonna pass out.

(blades clinging rapidly)
(chop!)

- (wryly) Really?

- (whimpers)

(rapid-fire clanging and chopping)

♪ (fighting theme) ♪
- (announcer) Fight.

- Oh, we're playing, like, Mortal Kombat?

- Oh. And now it's a beach.

- (announcer) Fight.

- Oh! Loving the battle music.

- How do I Hadouken?

- I don't understand what's happening.

- It's on fire.

- He's furious.

- Do I just got to avoid him
when he's on fire?

- Oh, when it's on fire,
I can't press it. It hurts me.

- That's when it's like
Super Saiyan. Okay.

(punches landing)
- Yes.

- It sets on fire too much,
like, too quickly.

(loud wallops)

- I'm just moving my mouse
and clicking as often as I can.

- (straining) Oh, stupid button.

(in game: echoing yell)
Oh, he's done! Kill him!!

- So close.

(in game: echoing yell)
I did it, right? I killed him?

- (announcer) You win.
- Yeah.

(in game: echoing yell)

- (announcer) You win.
- Is that good?

Yes!

- I think there's one more.

(in game: echoing yell)
Yay!

- Woo!
- (announcer) You win.

- Knockout.

- Call me fat again, bitch.

- Haha, I win.

"Oh no! Red button is dead!"
(feigning interest) Oh.

- "Red button is dead." That's right.

- Is there more?

There's more.

- "Malfunction." Now he's a hockey puck?

- I just want to get away
from this red button.

- Bro, he's dead. We're still
fucking with him. That's fucked up.

Oh, he's dead. We're playing
with a dead body right now.

- Now I feel bad.

- That's kinda mean.

- I'll just tap it in, tap it in.

(button rattles)
There we go.

(game blips)
Pong!

- Oh, shoot.

- Hit him with the boom, upper bounce.

Woo!

- I am Bread, button-style.
You is toast, son.

- Um...

(toaster lever clicks)

- This is just mean.
I'm frying this guy's body up.

- This is making me seem
like I'm such an awful person.

- (laughs dismissively) This is just...

Heh. Sure.

I'll go along with it. We'll pretend.

All right. "The end." Cool.

♪ (mournful aria) ♪
Oh. So sad.

- You had a good shot, Red.

- He looks like a bloodied up marshmallow.

- I feel so bad. (chuckles slightly)

♪ (aria continues) ♪

- Ebutton, 1.99?

- I'd be sad too if my net worth
was less than two dollars.

- Should I go press this one?
I'll start the fight again.

(gruffly) "Angry Red Button."

- So it's over? So I finished it.

- That's it. We're back in business.

See? He was replaceable. Easy.

Wow, that game was actually really fun.

- There was character
depth and emotion. It was nice.

- That was a blast.

Kind of a dick though.

- I didn't like it.

It's just, like, sad.

- I don't understand.
Like, why was he so angry?

What ever happened to you
to make you so mad

that you had to go call me fat?
That was so rude.

- I feel bad for killing the red button.

But, I mean, it's the red
button's fault anyways.

It shouldn't have left the keyboard.

- Thanks for watching us
annoy the angry red button

on the React channel.

- Hit that Like button
or it could get ugly.

- What game should we play next?
Put them in the comments.

- Subscribe. New gaming
episodes every week.

- Bye, guys.

- Later, guys. Go push
some buttons for me.

♪ (old-school video game music) ♪