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Eddie Izzard- Death Star Canteen

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    there must have been a Death Star canteen, yeah?
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    there must have been a cafeteria down stairs,
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    in between battles Darth Vader can just chill and go down,
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    I will have the penne a l'Arrabiata
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    you'll need a tray
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    do you know who I am?
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    d'you know who I am?
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    This is not a game of who the fuck are you
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    for I am Vader... Darth Vader... Lord Vader
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    I can kill you with a single thought
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    you'll still need a tray
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    no I do not need a tray
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    I do not need a tray to kill you
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    I can kill you with out a tray
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    with the power of the force
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    which is strong within me
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    even though I could kill you with a tray
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    if I so wished
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    for I would hack at you neck with the thin bit
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    until the blood flowed upon the canteen floo..
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    but the food is hot
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    you'll need a tray to put the food on
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    oh, I see the food is hot
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    I'm sorry
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    I did not realize
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    oh... haha... yes
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    I thought your are challenging me to fight to the death
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    fight to the death? oh, this is canteen, I work here
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    yes, but I'm Vader, I'm Lord Vader, everyone challenges me to fight to the death
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    Lord Darth Vader.. Sir Lord Vad.. Lord Vader of Cheene..Sir Lord Baron Von Vaderhan..
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    the Death Star, I run the Death Star
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    what's the Death Star?
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    this is the Death Star! you're in the Death Star! I run this star
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    this is a star?
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    this is a fucking star, I run it!
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    I'm your boss!
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    you're Mr Stevens!
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    no, I'm... who is Mr. Stevens?
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    he's head of catering
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    no, I'm not head of catering, I'm Vader, I can kill catering with a thought
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    what?
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    I can kill you all, I can kill ME with a thought, with just...
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    well fuck, I'll get a tray, fuck it...
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    this one's wet
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    and this one's wet
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    and this one's wet
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    this one is wet
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    this one is wet
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    did you dry these in a rain forest?
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    why with the power of the Death Star
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    do we not have a tray that is fucking dry? do not...
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    no, no, no... I was here first
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    you have to queue if you want food.
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    oh, can I have a penne a l'Arabiata? that'll be very nice
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    no, no, no... do you know who I am?
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    Thats Jeff Vader, that is!
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    I'm not Jeff Vader, I'm Darth Vader
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    what? Jeff Vader. That runs the Death Star.
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    No, I'm not Jeff. No, I run the Death Star.
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    You're Jeff Vader!
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    No, I'm Darth Vader.
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    Are you his brother? Could you get his autoghaph?
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    No, I'm not Jeff Vader... alright I'm Jeff Vader.
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    Can I have your autograph?
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    No, fuck off. Or I'll kill you with a tray.
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    Give me penne a'la Arrabiata, or you shall die...
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    and you... and everyone in this canteen...
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    Death by tray it shall be...
Title:
Eddie Izzard- Death Star Canteen
Description:

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Video Language:
English
Duration:
02:54

English, British subtitles

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