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City Slickers in Westworld feat. Billy Crystal

  • 0:05 - 0:09
    [ Westworld title theme ♪ ]
  • 0:14 - 0:15
    [footsteps]
  • 0:15 - 0:19
    [ Mitch voicing Bonanza theme ♪ ]
  • 0:22 - 0:24
    ♪ Rollin', rollin', rollin', rawhide ♪
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    - That's enough.
    - Roll...
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    [Stubbs] Mitchie the Kid.
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    Haven't seen you in
    here for quite some time.
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    You know,
    Mitch is one of the oldest house in the park.
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    Used to have one of our
    best-selling narratives.
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    Dissatisfied city slicker rides
    out west with his friends
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    to herd cattle and try and
    find his smile again.
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    [Sylvester] Does finding a smile involve
    going completely off his loop?
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    Why don't we ask him?
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    I always wanted to do this.
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    Mitch... Hellooo?
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    Do you know where you are?
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    Uh, the waiting room of the CIA?
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    Or the waiting room at CAA?
    [giggles]
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    This place has less privacy
    than Trump Tower. [giggles]
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    Limit your witty affect please.
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    Hm.
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    What happened in the park today?
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    Uh, today was like any other day.
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    I woke up, hearded some cows,
    Phil took an hour to pee,
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    and you know, same old same old,
    just living the life. [giggles]
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    Analysis.
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    - Are you lying to me?
    - Oh yeah.
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    This is footage of when
    he started malfunctioning.
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    [device beeps]
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    [gun shot, screams in the background]
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    What is it with the milk?
    He does like cows though, so.
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    [beep]
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    Do I set it to channel 3
    and then press record?
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    Doesn't matter what
    channel you're on.
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    - You just have to press the button.
    - Ah!
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    And then you put the tape in?
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    [shouting] The tape is already in ya moron!
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    [gun shot]
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    - What are they even talking about?
    - They're talking about programming a VCR.
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    That's a 90s thing.
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    I'm resetting your annoyance levels and
    doubling your tolerances for Phil, so.
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    Mitchie the Kid,
    you should be good to go.
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    Thank you,
    other Hemsworth Brother. [giggles]
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    [device]
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    Never gets old.
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    [indistinct talking]
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    Get the wood.
    Can't cook [bleep] without a fire.
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    Ah, don't sell yourself short, cookie.
    You can cook [bleep] in all conditions.
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    [whispering]
    What are you doing with these guys?
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    They're digging dirt for gold.
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    I didn't come here for that,
    I came here to push cows.
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    Well, a lot of gold miners
    are also cowboys.
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    [cowboy] Hey! Now pick up that
    [bleep] axe and go chop us...
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    [Mitch] They're just dirt guys.
    [stammers] I mean, look at...
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    How come everybody's frozen
    and we didn't freeze?
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    I didn't freeze
    because you didn't freeze.
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    Do you have to do
    everything that I do Phil?
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    Can't you just be your own man?
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    [stammers] What kind of man
    do you think I should be?
  • 3:05 - 3:07
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    - A dead one.
    - [gun shot]
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    [Stubbs] Mitch. Phil.
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    Bring yourselves back online.
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    Oh, this can't be good.
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    - Are we in detention?
    - I don't know where the hell we are.
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    Last thing I remember is I
    was riding on the plains with Curly,
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    and he was trying to
    teach me the secret to life.
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    - Secret to life?
    - Ooh, yeah.
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    - What was it?
    - He said it was one thing, just one thing.
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    - Your finger?
    - No, not my fingers.
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    It is one thing.
    You stick to the one thing in your life,
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    - and everything else means [bleep]
    - Wow. What was it?
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    That you have to figure
    out for yourself.
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    That's a load of crap. Seriously, what was it?
    What was the one thing?
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    - [indistinct background talking]
    - Obviously, their core friendship
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    parameters need to be realigned.
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    - What is the one thing? The one thing--
    - The one thing is this!
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    [gun shot]
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    Freeze all motor functions.
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    So the secret to life is shooting me?
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    [Sylvester] Now they're not
    responding to vocal commands.
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    - ...Go ahead. Go ahead. Right here.
    - I'll prep for a decommission.
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    - Shoot me!
    - [gun shot]
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    You shot me!
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    Hey fellas, where the hell are we?
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    What is this, the Kevorkian Ear
    Nose and Throat Clinic? [giggles]
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    Shut up.
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    Just imagine I am a dentist,
    but for your nose.
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    - Tilt your head back please Mitch.
    - [drilling starts]
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    [Sylvester] There we go.
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    Oooh, right in the schnoz.
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    [drilling stops]
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    [Phil] Mitch? Pal?
  • 4:45 - 4:45
    [Mitch sneezing]
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    Goddammit!
  • 4:47 - 4:49
    [Mitch] Ah! I can breathe again.
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    This is unbelievable!
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    See, I'm from Long Island.
    We had a lot of allergies when I was a kid.
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    My parents were gonna send me to
    Scottsdale Arizona to grow up in a dry environment.
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    Take it easy!
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    - Can you do the other side?
    - That's it. I've had enough.
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    You're both going into cold storage.
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    Why is everybody naked?
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    Because all the hosts are naked.
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    - Why aren't you guys naked?
    - Um, cause it's in HD.
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    - Boobs. Eh.
    - You guys are cute.
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    - Hi, I'm Mitch.
    - I'm Clementine.
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    Not much of a rind on you.
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    - I'll give you a discount.
    - How much?
  • 5:37 - 5:40
    It's $5 dollars for an hour,
    it's $4 if you bathe first.
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    Does it have to be
    an hour all at once?
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    Can it be spread out
    over like a month or two.
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    - We could--
    - We'll work something out.
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    Oh good, okay.
  • 5:49 - 5:50
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    Holy [bleep]. $5 bucks.
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  • 5:59 - 6:01
    Anybody? I got 5.
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    - I got 5! Hello?
    - [cow bellows]
  • 6:07 - 6:08
    [Mitch] Norman, not now!
Title:
City Slickers in Westworld feat. Billy Crystal
Description:

Years after their 'City Slickers' narrative was retired, Westworld hosts Mitch (Billy Crystal) & Phil (Daniel Stern) are still happily driving cattle, however Mitch has started to malfunction and it's up to Stubbs (Luke Hemsworth) to analyze why he has gone off his loop.

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See the original at: http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/c8d77a9867

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Video Language:
English
Duration:
06:32

English subtitles

Revisions