City Slickers in Westworld feat. Billy Crystal
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0:05 - 0:09[ Westworld title theme ♪ ]
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0:14 - 0:15[footsteps]
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0:15 - 0:19[ Mitch voicing Bonanza theme ♪ ]
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0:22 - 0:24♪ Rollin', rollin', rollin', rawhide ♪
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0:25 - 0:26- That's enough.
- Roll... -
0:26 - 0:28[Stubbs] Mitchie the Kid.
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0:29 - 0:31Haven't seen you in
here for quite some time. -
0:32 - 0:34You know,
Mitch is one of the oldest house in the park. -
0:34 - 0:36Used to have one of our
best-selling narratives. -
0:37 - 0:40Dissatisfied city slicker rides
out west with his friends -
0:41 - 0:44to herd cattle and try and
find his smile again. -
0:45 - 0:47[Sylvester] Does finding a smile involve
going completely off his loop? -
0:48 - 0:49Why don't we ask him?
-
0:50 - 0:51I always wanted to do this.
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0:51 - 0:52Mitch... Hellooo?
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0:57 - 0:58Do you know where you are?
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0:59 - 1:01Uh, the waiting room of the CIA?
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1:01 - 1:03Or the waiting room at CAA?
[giggles] -
1:04 - 1:07This place has less privacy
than Trump Tower. [giggles] -
1:07 - 1:08Limit your witty affect please.
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1:09 - 1:09Hm.
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1:10 - 1:11What happened in the park today?
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1:12 - 1:13Uh, today was like any other day.
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1:14 - 1:17I woke up, hearded some cows,
Phil took an hour to pee, -
1:17 - 1:20and you know, same old same old,
just living the life. [giggles] -
1:21 - 1:22Analysis.
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1:23 - 1:24- Are you lying to me?
- Oh yeah. -
1:25 - 1:27This is footage of when
he started malfunctioning. -
1:28 - 1:29[device beeps]
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1:32 - 1:34[gun shot, screams in the background]
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1:35 - 1:38What is it with the milk?
He does like cows though, so. -
1:39 - 1:39[beep]
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1:39 - 1:42Do I set it to channel 3
and then press record? -
1:42 - 1:44Doesn't matter what
channel you're on. -
1:45 - 1:47- You just have to press the button.
- Ah! -
1:48 - 1:49And then you put the tape in?
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1:50 - 1:52[shouting] The tape is already in ya moron!
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1:52 - 1:52[gun shot]
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1:54 - 1:58- What are they even talking about?
- They're talking about programming a VCR. -
1:58 - 2:00That's a 90s thing.
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2:03 - 2:08I'm resetting your annoyance levels and
doubling your tolerances for Phil, so. -
2:08 - 2:09Mitchie the Kid,
you should be good to go. -
2:10 - 2:12Thank you,
other Hemsworth Brother. [giggles] -
2:14 - 2:16[device]
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2:18 - 2:19Never gets old.
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2:20 - 2:23♪
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2:27 - 2:28[indistinct talking]
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2:28 - 2:31Get the wood.
Can't cook [bleep] without a fire. -
2:32 - 2:35Ah, don't sell yourself short, cookie.
You can cook [bleep] in all conditions. -
2:35 - 2:36[whispering]
What are you doing with these guys? -
2:37 - 2:39They're digging dirt for gold.
-
2:39 - 2:41I didn't come here for that,
I came here to push cows. -
2:42 - 2:44Well, a lot of gold miners
are also cowboys. -
2:44 - 2:47[cowboy] Hey! Now pick up that
[bleep] axe and go chop us... -
2:47 - 2:49[Mitch] They're just dirt guys.
[stammers] I mean, look at... -
2:53 - 2:55How come everybody's frozen
and we didn't freeze? -
2:55 - 2:56I didn't freeze
because you didn't freeze. -
2:57 - 2:59Do you have to do
everything that I do Phil? -
2:59 - 3:00Can't you just be your own man?
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3:02 - 3:03[stammers] What kind of man
do you think I should be? -
3:05 - 3:07♪
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3:07 - 3:08- A dead one.
- [gun shot] -
3:12 - 3:14[Stubbs] Mitch. Phil.
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3:14 - 3:15Bring yourselves back online.
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3:18 - 3:19Oh, this can't be good.
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3:20 - 3:22- Are we in detention?
- I don't know where the hell we are. -
3:23 - 3:25Last thing I remember is I
was riding on the plains with Curly, -
3:26 - 3:27and he was trying to
teach me the secret to life. -
3:29 - 3:31- Secret to life?
- Ooh, yeah. -
3:31 - 3:36- What was it?
- He said it was one thing, just one thing. -
3:37 - 3:39- Your finger?
- No, not my fingers. -
3:39 - 3:41It is one thing.
You stick to the one thing in your life, -
3:42 - 3:45- and everything else means [bleep]
- Wow. What was it? -
3:45 - 3:46That you have to figure
out for yourself. -
3:47 - 3:49That's a load of crap. Seriously, what was it?
What was the one thing? -
3:50 - 3:51- [indistinct background talking]
- Obviously, their core friendship -
3:51 - 3:52parameters need to be realigned.
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3:53 - 3:55- What is the one thing? The one thing--
- The one thing is this! -
3:55 - 3:55[gun shot]
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3:56 - 3:57Freeze all motor functions.
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4:00 - 4:03So the secret to life is shooting me?
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4:03 - 4:06[Sylvester] Now they're not
responding to vocal commands. -
4:06 - 4:09- ...Go ahead. Go ahead. Right here.
- I'll prep for a decommission. -
4:10 - 4:11- Shoot me!
- [gun shot] -
4:12 - 4:12You shot me!
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4:15 - 4:17Hey fellas, where the hell are we?
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4:18 - 4:20What is this, the Kevorkian Ear
Nose and Throat Clinic? [giggles] -
4:20 - 4:21Shut up.
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4:22 - 4:25Just imagine I am a dentist,
but for your nose. -
4:27 - 4:29- Tilt your head back please Mitch.
- [drilling starts] -
4:30 - 4:31[Sylvester] There we go.
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4:34 - 4:36Oooh, right in the schnoz.
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4:38 - 4:39[drilling stops]
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4:41 - 4:43[Phil] Mitch? Pal?
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4:45 - 4:45[Mitch sneezing]
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4:45 - 4:46Goddammit!
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4:47 - 4:49[Mitch] Ah! I can breathe again.
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4:49 - 4:50This is unbelievable!
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4:51 - 4:53See, I'm from Long Island.
We had a lot of allergies when I was a kid. -
4:53 - 4:56My parents were gonna send me to
Scottsdale Arizona to grow up in a dry environment. -
4:56 - 4:57Take it easy!
-
4:57 - 4:59- Can you do the other side?
- That's it. I've had enough. -
5:00 - 5:01You're both going into cold storage.
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5:12 - 5:14Why is everybody naked?
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5:15 - 5:17Because all the hosts are naked.
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5:18 - 5:23- Why aren't you guys naked?
- Um, cause it's in HD. -
5:23 - 5:26- Boobs. Eh.
- You guys are cute. -
5:26 - 5:30- Hi, I'm Mitch.
- I'm Clementine. -
5:30 - 5:33Not much of a rind on you.
-
5:33 - 5:37- I'll give you a discount.
- How much? -
5:37 - 5:40It's $5 dollars for an hour,
it's $4 if you bathe first. -
5:40 - 5:43Does it have to be
an hour all at once? -
5:43 - 5:46Can it be spread out
over like a month or two. -
5:46 - 5:48- We could--
- We'll work something out. -
5:48 - 5:49Oh good, okay.
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5:49 - 5:50♪
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5:51 - 5:55Holy [bleep]. $5 bucks.
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5:56 - 5:58♪
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5:59 - 6:01Anybody? I got 5.
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6:03 - 6:07- I got 5! Hello?
- [cow bellows] -
6:07 - 6:08[Mitch] Norman, not now!
- Title:
- City Slickers in Westworld feat. Billy Crystal
- Description:
-
Years after their 'City Slickers' narrative was retired, Westworld hosts Mitch (Billy Crystal) & Phil (Daniel Stern) are still happily driving cattle, however Mitch has started to malfunction and it's up to Stubbs (Luke Hemsworth) to analyze why he has gone off his loop.
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See the original at: http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/c8d77a9867 - Video Language:
- English
- Duration:
- 06:32
![]() |
Alexandre Clemente edited English subtitles for City Slickers in Westworld feat. Billy Crystal | |
![]() |
Alexandre Clemente edited English subtitles for City Slickers in Westworld feat. Billy Crystal |