First impressions | Walker Steck | TEDxLakeTravisHigh

Walker Steck asks us to delay judgment for just fifteen seconds before making a decision about someone we have just met – he or she just might prove to be a new best friend or the love of a lifetime.

Walker enjoys playing any sport involving a paddle: tennis, racquetball, ping-pong, badminton, and pickleball. Because he values relationships, he understands the importance of accepting people as they are, even from the very first impression.

This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at http://ted.com/tedx

(Mumbling) Hi, everyone.

My name is Walker Steck,
and I would just like to talk to you guys

about the connection
between first impression and ...

(Normal talking) No, I'm just kidding.
That would be terrible.

Hi, everyone!

As I said up here rather quietly,
my name is Walker Steck,

and I'd like to talk to you guys
about the connection

between first impression
and future relationship.

Now, as I just stood up here,
rather, or - oh my gosh, sorry.

As I stood up here, holding on
to my index cards for dear life,

you all did a little something
called making a first impression.

And it's not your fault.

We all - oh my, I didn't get the clicker.

Sorry, guys.

Thank you.

Okay, so as humans,
we form 10 to 20 images

of what we think
a person's personality is like

based on 15 seconds of conversation.

Now, let's do the math.

Of these 10 to 20 images -

let's say we meet two new people a day
for seven days a week;

that's about 200 new images
that we have created of people

just based on 200 seconds of conversation.

Now, another fun fact:

85% of these images
are going to be just dead wrong,

not even in the same ballpark
of what the person's personality is like,

and only 15% are going to be remotely true
of how they act around people.

Now, let me tell you

about a little personal narrative
I [read], ironically titled

"Making a First Impression,"
by Maggie Scarf.

In the article, Scarf talks
about meeting a guy at a bar.

The two get to talking.
Things are going great.

A little laughter,
give-take conversation,

everything you look for
in a good first impression.

But she slips up.

One bad reaction to a joke.
She didn't laugh.

And in one or two seconds
of awkward silence,

the two have shut down any chance
of any sort of connection in the future.

Now, I know what you're all thinking.

"Why do I need to hear the story
about the girl who doesn't get the guy?"

And you don't.

I'm not here to tell you
about everyone's sad story,

because I can't - there's too many.

I am standing here in front of you
today on this TEDx stage

to make you aware

of how seriously we all take
these infamous first impressions.

Now, after all these numbers and stories,

some of you still might not be 100% sure
about what it is I'm trying to say.

So let me tell you.

I'm just asking you to consider my points.

The next time you meet someone,
ask a few more questions,

stay interested in their answers,

just keep the conversation
alive long enough

so that you're actually able
to form an accurate image

of what the person is like.

If you jump to conclusions too quickly,

you may never know
what the relationship could be like.

When I was in eighth grade,

my discovery teacher,
Ms. Magia, once told me,

"Walker, you miss 100%
of the shots you don't take."

Now, I found this quote
to be rather relevant to the situation,

so I took a little spin on it myself:

"You end every friendship
you don't start."

Good, yeah? Good, yeah?

Whatever.

The point is that you could be talking
to your soulmate, long-term best friend,

maybe even husband or wife in the future,

and it can all be thrown away

if you jump to conclusions
about their personality too soon.

So, just do me a favor.

Next time you meet someone,
try all these things:

the intriguing conversation,

the time extension
on the first conversation,

because I promise you one day
you'll look back and just think,

"Oh, man, that kid was right.
I wish there was some way to thank him."

"[e-mail]"

if you truly just can't wait
to thank me for my genius advice.

(Laughter)

No, only a joke.

But, in all seriousness,

you will be thankful that you spent
15 extra seconds of your life

talking to someone who you could spend
the next 15 years of your life with.

Thank you.

(Applause)

(Cheers)