1 00:00:21,076 --> 00:00:22,222 (Mumbling) Hi, everyone. 2 00:00:22,238 --> 00:00:25,335 My name is Walker Steck, and I would just like to talk to you guys 3 00:00:25,353 --> 00:00:28,389 about the connection between first impression and ... 4 00:00:28,419 --> 00:00:31,398 (Normal talking) No, I'm just kidding. That would be terrible. 5 00:00:31,437 --> 00:00:32,356 Hi, everyone! 6 00:00:32,396 --> 00:00:35,405 As I said up here rather quietly, my name is Walker Steck, 7 00:00:35,460 --> 00:00:37,939 and I'd like to talk to you guys about the connection 8 00:00:37,939 --> 00:00:40,242 between first impression and future relationship. 9 00:00:40,242 --> 00:00:43,668 Now, as I just stood up here, rather, or - oh my gosh, sorry. 10 00:00:43,691 --> 00:00:47,047 As I stood up here, holding on to my index cards for dear life, 11 00:00:47,075 --> 00:00:50,073 you all did a little something called making a first impression. 12 00:00:50,073 --> 00:00:51,240 And it's not your fault. 13 00:00:51,240 --> 00:00:54,920 We all - oh my, I didn't get the clicker. 14 00:00:56,128 --> 00:00:57,141 Sorry, guys. 15 00:00:59,295 --> 00:01:00,157 Thank you. 16 00:01:00,191 --> 00:01:03,958 Okay, so as humans, we form 10 to 20 images 17 00:01:04,021 --> 00:01:06,211 of what we think a person's personality is like 18 00:01:06,241 --> 00:01:08,317 based on 15 seconds of conversation. 19 00:01:08,488 --> 00:01:10,015 Now, let's do the math. 20 00:01:11,126 --> 00:01:12,911 Of these 10 to 20 images - 21 00:01:12,953 --> 00:01:16,116 let's say we meet two new people a day for seven days a week; 22 00:01:16,173 --> 00:01:19,011 that's about 200 new images that we have created of people 23 00:01:19,049 --> 00:01:22,274 just based on 200 seconds of conversation. 24 00:01:23,561 --> 00:01:24,995 Now, another fun fact: 25 00:01:26,054 --> 00:01:28,963 85% of these images are going to be just dead wrong, 26 00:01:29,004 --> 00:01:32,338 not even in the same ballpark of what the person's personality is like, 27 00:01:32,338 --> 00:01:36,595 and only 15% are going to be remotely true of how they act around people. 28 00:01:37,272 --> 00:01:38,226 Now, let me tell you 29 00:01:38,226 --> 00:01:41,093 about a little personal narrative I [read], ironically titled 30 00:01:41,093 --> 00:01:43,374 "Making a First Impression," by Maggie Scarf. 31 00:01:43,374 --> 00:01:46,123 In the article, Scarf talks about meeting a guy at a bar. 32 00:01:46,123 --> 00:01:48,311 The two get to talking. Things are going great. 33 00:01:48,311 --> 00:01:50,458 A little laughter, give-take conversation, 34 00:01:50,458 --> 00:01:52,842 everything you look for in a good first impression. 35 00:01:52,842 --> 00:01:53,955 But she slips up. 36 00:01:54,070 --> 00:01:56,538 One bad reaction to a joke. She didn't laugh. 37 00:01:56,959 --> 00:01:59,421 And in one or two seconds of awkward silence, 38 00:01:59,481 --> 00:02:03,234 the two have shut down any chance of any sort of connection in the future. 39 00:02:03,644 --> 00:02:05,408 Now, I know what you're all thinking. 40 00:02:05,408 --> 00:02:08,844 "Why do I need to hear the story about the girl who doesn't get the guy?" 41 00:02:08,844 --> 00:02:09,769 And you don't. 42 00:02:09,769 --> 00:02:12,196 I'm not here to tell you about everyone's sad story, 43 00:02:12,196 --> 00:02:13,865 because I can't - there's too many. 44 00:02:13,865 --> 00:02:17,447 I am standing here in front of you today on this TEDx stage 45 00:02:17,532 --> 00:02:18,532 to make you aware 46 00:02:18,532 --> 00:02:21,458 of how seriously we all take these infamous first impressions. 47 00:02:22,159 --> 00:02:24,309 Now, after all these numbers and stories, 48 00:02:24,339 --> 00:02:28,143 some of you still might not be 100% sure about what it is I'm trying to say. 49 00:02:28,326 --> 00:02:29,462 So let me tell you. 50 00:02:29,781 --> 00:02:31,994 I'm just asking you to consider my points. 51 00:02:32,114 --> 00:02:35,197 The next time you meet someone, ask a few more questions, 52 00:02:35,257 --> 00:02:36,828 stay interested in their answers, 53 00:02:36,828 --> 00:02:39,996 just keep the conversation alive long enough 54 00:02:40,052 --> 00:02:42,584 so that you're actually able to form an accurate image 55 00:02:42,584 --> 00:02:44,033 of what the person is like. 56 00:02:44,098 --> 00:02:48,482 If you jump to conclusions too quickly, 57 00:02:48,508 --> 00:02:51,080 you may never know what the relationship could be like. 58 00:02:51,561 --> 00:02:52,848 When I was in eighth grade, 59 00:02:52,848 --> 00:02:54,988 my discovery teacher, Ms. Magia, once told me, 60 00:02:54,988 --> 00:02:58,242 "Walker, you miss 100% of the shots you don't take." 61 00:02:58,532 --> 00:03:01,482 Now, I found this quote to be rather relevant to the situation, 62 00:03:01,482 --> 00:03:03,247 so I took a little spin on it myself: 63 00:03:03,247 --> 00:03:05,383 "You end every friendship you don't start." 64 00:03:05,383 --> 00:03:07,454 Good, yeah? Good, yeah? 65 00:03:07,665 --> 00:03:08,666 Whatever. 66 00:03:08,666 --> 00:03:13,268 The point is that you could be talking to your soulmate, long-term best friend, 67 00:03:13,298 --> 00:03:15,757 maybe even husband or wife in the future, 68 00:03:15,820 --> 00:03:17,198 and it can all be thrown away 69 00:03:17,208 --> 00:03:20,213 if you jump to conclusions about their personality too soon. 70 00:03:20,369 --> 00:03:21,780 So, just do me a favor. 71 00:03:21,831 --> 00:03:24,550 Next time you meet someone, try all these things: 72 00:03:24,639 --> 00:03:26,033 the intriguing conversation, 73 00:03:26,033 --> 00:03:28,543 the time extension on the first conversation, 74 00:03:28,718 --> 00:03:31,628 because I promise you one day you'll look back and just think, 75 00:03:31,628 --> 00:03:34,916 "Oh, man, that kid was right. I wish there was some way to thank him." 76 00:03:34,916 --> 00:03:36,590 "Thewalk101@gmail.com" 77 00:03:36,590 --> 00:03:39,529 if you truly just can't wait to thank me for my genius advice. 78 00:03:39,529 --> 00:03:40,529 (Laughter) 79 00:03:40,529 --> 00:03:41,620 No, only a joke. 80 00:03:41,685 --> 00:03:43,298 But, in all seriousness, 81 00:03:43,310 --> 00:03:46,354 you will be thankful that you spent 15 extra seconds of your life 82 00:03:46,354 --> 00:03:49,872 talking to someone who you could spend the next 15 years of your life with. 83 00:03:49,872 --> 00:03:50,884 Thank you. 84 00:03:50,884 --> 00:03:52,536 (Applause) 85 00:03:52,536 --> 00:03:54,200 (Cheers)