(Mumbling) Hi, everyone.
My name is Walker Steck, and I would just like to talk to you guys
about the connection between first impression and ...
(Normal talking) No, I'm just kidding. That would be terrible.
Hi, everyone!
As I said up here rather quietly, my name is Walker Steck,
and I'd like to talk to you guys about the connection
between first impression and future relationship.
Now, as I just stood up here, rather, or - oh my gosh, sorry.
As I stood up here, holding on to my index cards for dear life,
you all did a little something called making a first impression.
And it's not your fault.
We all - oh my, I didn't get the clicker.
Sorry, guys.
Thank you.
Okay, so as humans, we form 10 to 20 images
of what we think a person's personality is like
based on 15 seconds of conversation.
Now, let's do the math.
Of these 10 to 20 images -
let's say we meet two new people a day for seven days a week;
that's about 200 new images that we have created of people
just based on 200 seconds of conversation.
Now, another fun fact:
85% of these images are going to be just dead wrong,
not even in the same ballpark of what the person's personality is like,
and only 15% are going to be remotely true of how they act around people.
Now, let me tell you
about a little personal narrative I [read], ironically titled
"Making a First Impression," by Maggie Scarf.
In the article, Scarf talks about meeting a guy at a bar.
The two get to talking. Things are going great.
A little laughter, give-take conversation,
everything you look for in a good first impression.
But she slips up.
One bad reaction to a joke. She didn't laugh.
And in one or two seconds of awkward silence,
the two have shut down any chance of any sort of connection in the future.
Now, I know what you're all thinking.
"Why do I need to hear the story about the girl who doesn't get the guy?"
And you don't.
I'm not here to tell you about everyone's sad story,
because I can't - there's too many.
I am standing here in front of you today on this TEDx stage
to make you aware
of how seriously we all take these infamous first impressions.
Now, after all these numbers and stories,
some of you still might not be 100% sure about what it is I'm trying to say.
So let me tell you.
I'm just asking you to consider my points.
The next time you meet someone, ask a few more questions,
stay interested in their answers,
just keep the conversation alive long enough
so that you're actually able to form an accurate image
of what the person is like.
If you jump to conclusions too quickly,
you may never know what the relationship could be like.
When I was in eighth grade,
my discovery teacher, Ms. Magia, once told me,
"Walker, you miss 100% of the shots you don't take."
Now, I found this quote to be rather relevant to the situation,
so I took a little spin on it myself:
"You end every friendship you don't start."
Good, yeah? Good, yeah?
Whatever.
The point is that you could be talking to your soulmate, long-term best friend,
maybe even husband or wife in the future,
and it can all be thrown away
if you jump to conclusions about their personality too soon.
So, just do me a favor.
Next time you meet someone, try all these things:
the intriguing conversation,
the time extension on the first conversation,
because I promise you one day you'll look back and just think,
"Oh, man, that kid was right. I wish there was some way to thank him."
"Thewalk101@gmail.com"
if you truly just can't wait to thank me for my genius advice.
(Laughter)
No, only a joke.
But, in all seriousness,
you will be thankful that you spent 15 extra seconds of your life
talking to someone who you could spend the next 15 years of your life with.
Thank you.
(Applause)
(Cheers)