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So I still remember the exact spot
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on the highway where I was driving.
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I think I remember it so vividly because
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I was having one of the most important
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conversations that I’ve ever had with
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myself.
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In that moment in my car,
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I knew in my bones, I wouldn’t drink alcohol again.
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So you might be thinking what was the rock
-
bottom that brought me to that point?
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And the answer is … there wasn’t one!
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You see, I was a gray area drinker and
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I drank between two extremes. I wasn’t an
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end stage, lose everything kind of
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drinker, not by a long shot. If you would
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have asked my friends and family if they
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thought I had a drinking problem they
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have said, “of course not”. But I also
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wasn’t an "every now and again drinker"
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who would have a glass of champagne
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for example at the wedding and then not
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drink again for weeks. I didn’t fall into
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either one of those drinking categories
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or drinking extremes. And maybe you
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can identify?
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As a nutritionist who has worked in
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corporate wellness since 2004,
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I functioned really well. I knew how
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to eat well, I worked out on a regular
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basis and I loved to read and study
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everything health and wellness.
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But what people didn’t know was how much I
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loved the “off” switch that wine provided
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to my “on” and often anxious brain.
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I loved the immediate effect that red wine
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delivered. And people also didn’t see how
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easy and frequent it was for one glass of
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wine to turn into one bottle of wine.
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There is a commune characteristic and
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pattern in gray area drinking that I
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experience and I’ve watched many others
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experience as well and that’s a stopping
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and restarting drinking. One time I
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stopped for 7 months, another time I
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stopped for 30 days, and other short
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periods in between, and then I would think
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to myself: “Why am I being so restrictive?
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I can be a social drinker”. So I’d return
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to drinking only to return to a level of
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drinking where I regret it. This back and
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forth drinking marry-go-around was the
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exact thing that I knew I wanted to exit
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off for good that day in my car on the
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highway.
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And maybe you don’t actually identify with
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a gray area drinking because not everyone
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will. But here is what I know with
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absolute certainty: there are people in
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your life right now, it could be family
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members, close friends, colleagues, and
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they are worrying and wondering as they’re
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rethinking their drinking because they are
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in the gray area, but more than likely
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they are not talking to you about it and
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they are not talking to others about it
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because they think they are the only ones
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and they think they are alone.
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So how do I know this? I’ve lived this for
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many years. And the more I can be speaking
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up professionally about my gray area
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drinking experience the more my email
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inbox gets flooded with emails from
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attorneys and therapists, senior level
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managers and nurses, stay in home moms,
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yoga instructors, and many many others.
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And their words are different, but
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the jest of what they write me is all
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the same and they say, “I identify with
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your drinking story. I don’t have a rock
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bottom either, I want to be able to drink
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socially, but I end up regretting how much
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I drink on a frequent basis."
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This gray area drinking spectrum is real
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and it’s large. And a lot of high
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achieving, high functioning people who
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silently live here every day. But beyond
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gray area drinking is even something
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bigger and that’s a collective story of
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anxiety. And this I believe is where we
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are collectively missing the mark.
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We don’t need anymore cognitive hoops to
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jump through and we don’t need anymore
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ways to focus our will power and contort
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our will power in an attempt to “fix”
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ourselves, what we need is practical
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training in how to nourish our nervous
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system in a revolutionary and new way.
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So there is many components and pieces to
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this, but one component and one
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interesting place to start can
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be understanding your neurotransmitters.
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So let’s start with GABA. So GABA is
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the natural anti-anxiety neurotransmitter.
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When GABA is low we can feel anxious and
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our mind can get stuck in a loop of worry,
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rumination or obsession about anything.
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Serotonin is the natural anti-depressant
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neurotransmitter. When serotonin is low
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we can feel more depressed, unhappy, and
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crave things like carbs and alcohol and
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have trouble sleeping.
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Dopamine is the neurotransmitter that’s in
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charge of our focus and motivation. When
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dopamine’s low it can be hard to stay at
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a coarse and stay on track with your
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goals and your routines.
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So people with low GABA people will often
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say that they drink as a way to relax.
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That was me. People with low serotonin
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will say they drink as a way to have fun,
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and people with low dopamine will say they
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drink as a way to connect and engage
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with others.
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But here’s the problem and here is what I
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want to you know and take from this talk —
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It can be relatively easy for most people
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on the gray area drinking spectrum to stop
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drinking, but it can be hard to stay
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stopped, especially if we are not
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replenishing our neurotransmitters and
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nourishing our nervous system in a
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comprehensive and consistent way.
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So here’s the good news, in turns out that
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there is actually specific foods,
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movements and lifestyle practices that
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while they are great wellness tips for
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everyone, they have very direct and
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immediate roles in boosting all of our
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neurotransmitters.
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So as a way to give you some practical
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ways that you can begin to boost your
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neurotransmitters now I’d like to start
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doing that by using the acronym “NOURISH”
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N - notice nature - Research shows that
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when our pleasure, which is dopamine,
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and our happiness, which is serotonin,
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both begin to rise when we go into areas
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with a large density of trees or a large
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body of water like an ocean. All it takes
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is 20 minutes of being around nature with
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a lot of trees, a lot of water for your
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GABA, serotonin, and dopamine to begin
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to rise.
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O - observe your breath. There are many
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medications you can stunt, blunt, and
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block the fight-flight-freeze response in
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your body, there are no medications that
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can boost the calm response. But there is
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one mechanism in your body that can do
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that naturally. And that mechanism is your
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breath. When our breath is regulated our
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neurotransmitters become regulated.
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Take a breath! How does that feel? You all
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just gave a little boost to your GABA,
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serotonin, and dopamine.
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R - replenish with food - when you eat
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protein, whether it’s animal protein or
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vegetable protein, it doesn’t matter,
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it breaks down into amino acids and amino
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acids are what replenish GABA, serotonin,
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and dopamine. When you eat healthy fats,
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particularly in the form of Omega 3 fats
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like fish oil, flax seeds, or walnuts,
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those Omega 3 fats are the raw materials
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that make your neurotransmitters.
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When you eat carbohydrates, specifically
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in the ideal form of vegetables, and even
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more specific, leafy green vegetables,
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they break down into B vitamins and
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B vitamins are the pre-cursors that make
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serotonin. When you replenish with food
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you replenish your neurotransmitters.
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I - initiate movement. Any exercise will
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boost the neurotransmitters.
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The Boston University did a study with
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yoga participants and they had them do
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a 60-minute yoga class. And then when
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they measured they're GABA after that
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class they found everyone’s GABA went
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up at least on 27%. Some participants had
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arising GABA up to 80%. Compared to the
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control group that read a book for
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60 minutes, there was no change in
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their GABA. One 60-minute yoga class can
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initiate a boost in all your
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neurotransmitters.
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But after we active, we need to be still.
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S - sitting in stillness allows
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the nervous system the opportunity
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to respond and adopt in a complex world
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that we live and work in in a very
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nurusing way. And particularly sitting in
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stillness and silence, invoking a sacred
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prayer, meditation, or scripture can
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really feed and replenish your GABA,
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serotonin, and dopamine.
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H - harness your creativity - Dopamine
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loves the creative flow. And the way you
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get into a creative flow is to pick
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a single focused activity that ends
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en “ing”. Some examples are gardening,
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fishing, painting. But be careful because
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there are some other activities that end
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en “ing” that make us feel like we get
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a dopamine hit: drinking, smoking,
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overeating. Fishing, painting,
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the positive hobbies boost your dopamine.
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The other: drinking, smoking, overeating
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depletes dopamine. Harnish your
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creativity, but be very conscientious
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how you doing that. As of today, It has
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been 1054 days since I’ve had a drink
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of alcohol.
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But I didn’t have a rock bottom moment
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that brought me to this point and you
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don’t need to have one either.
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But I’ll be honest there were two things I
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worried about when I stopped drinking.
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And the first was: what would happen with
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my relationships? This one surprised me.
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The important relationships in my life,
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family stuck by me, but they deepened.
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And I look back at all the new wonderful
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people who who had entered my life in
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the last 3 years, some of them drink,
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some of them don’t, but our relationship
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is not built on my personal decision to
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not drink. We’ve been able to connect and
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relate and we’re aligned in a way that is
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new for me. And it’s been really really
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nourishing to add these relationships
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to my life.
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The second thing I worried about was what
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if something awful happened and it would
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be so painful that I’ll want to numb it
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with a glass or a bottle of wine? That
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worry came true. Eighteen months into not
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drinking I hit my worse personal financial
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crisis in my life. If there was ever
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a time when I wanted to numb
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the experience and anesthetize the intense
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anxiety and fear that I felt that was
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the time. But I didn’t do it. And I
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believe the reason I got through that time
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without drinking wasn’t because I had
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an intellectual understanding of
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the nervous system, which I do, but
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intellectualizing something is what gets
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me through something. And it wasn’t
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because I had a strong will power, which
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I don’t, my will power fatigue is as much
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as the next person. But what I had was
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a very targeted and specific nourishment
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that I had given my nervous system
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leading up to that point in a very new and
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different way. And that had given me
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a zone of resilience and internal zone
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of resilience that I’ve never had before.
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So whatever road you’re on and wherever
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you are on that road with your own
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internal conversation, whether you’re
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a healthcare professional like myself,
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a business professional in any industry,
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a stay at home parent or anyone else, if
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you know in your bones that you’re in
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the gray area with drinking or anything
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else as an attempt to regulate the anxiety
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in your body or the discomfort in your
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life, don’t forget: your GABA,
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your serotonin, and your dopamine are
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waiting for you to activate them with
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certain foods, movements and lifestyle
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practices, and when you do that you’re
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giving your nervous system the
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nourishment it’s been craving all along.
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Thank you!