-
*Gad Elmaleh
Dad is at the top
The Last live*
-
It's 11 to 9, we are live from the Palais des Sports in Paris, it's an exceptional time, ladies and gentlemen, tonight
-
Welcome on TF1
Gad Elmaleh on stage for his Last, with 4 000 spectators overheated!
-
He goes on stage, he will do the show alone.
Gad Elmaleh, you know him, he is a man full of talent.
-
Unprecedented show with a lot of sketches that you don't know
-
With ... how to say ... "guests" who will, later, much effect
-
Without forgetting that everything is full, there is more one seat
-
You are our VIP guests, ladies and gentlemen, tonight,
you will live the whole show on stage, backstage, it tells you everything!
-
Gad Elmaleh will be ready in a few minutes,
it will make the show on stage, we will join him in his dressing room in a few minutes
-
We'll see what condition he is, if he is stressed ... if he is cool
It is your darling, it is Gad Elmaleh
-
Whether in movies or on stage.
-
Back on the comic of all records, it's gone!
-
Good evening
-
My name is Chouchou (Darling)
-
There are only 10 years ago, it was only a character sketch,
today, it's like this that everyone call him "Chouchou"
-
Favorite comic and 3rd most popular personality in France
-
Gad Elmaleh, makes, tonight, live, the last of his show "Papa est en haut" (Dad is upstairs)
-
A triumph over one million spectators
-
So, it's been 3 years he is in tour, not on this chair, but throughout France
-
Do you realize? The number of hours
-
Yes, and we even did the math, 308 representations about 2h,
either 616 hours on stage
-
And no question of forgetting an auditorium, the zenith, arenas, stadiums ...
-
Everybody okay?
-
And even small theaters ... then, inevitably, it will create links.
-
Okay, so ... 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 ... It's auditoriums, they are so small,
you're tempted to say: "Bruno is there? Dodo?
-
And closer to you, there's nothing better for observe you ,
Gad Elmaleh speaks us because he speaks about us and hit the nail on the head
-
This scene of a couple in a Swedish furniture store,
tells you, probably something
-
All couples, they get confused there.
There are only womens who are saying to their husband
-
"I tell you that this is out there the plates!!!"
-
There are only guys who are saying to their wife
"Let me see! Yeah, takes, It will not fit, but takes!!"
-
Or parents and children at output of school
-
So, now, it's fascinating, the doors open, and parents
seek their children, but as if they had approximate descriptions
-
Have you ever seen how they seek their children? They are like this:
-
In short, with Gad, there for everyone!
-
There's only in France, where there are guys who say:
"Hey, I need to tell you something because there are a lot of people ..."
-
"... Who at the company told me about a lot of files,
I would have to tell you about it "
-
As Gad is not resting,
all those calories burned on stage, makes you thirsty
-
"he drinks lots of water!"
-
Yes, in 3 years of touring, it's 387 liters of water
And with the empty bottles, what does he do,Gad?
-
Music! Another additional talent
-
Percussion, but also, guitar,
-
"Little bird, if you don't have wings!"
-
Or piano...
-
With a beautiful voice
-
All together
-
Gad Elmaleh, a man orchestra, even a conductor
Especially on shooting of his film
-
870 is the number of "action" and "cut!" heard on set "Coco", his first success as a director
-
If you count his upcoming film "Tintin" Spielberg
Gad starred in 22 films in 15 years of career
-
And recently, a big bet an actor, it's a Gad surprising that we found in "la Rafle"
Already more than 3 million spectators
-
"Daddy!"
-
Sorry dad, sorry!
-
Sorry for what, honey? Aren't we better, together, in family?
-
A family, the one of cinema, who opened him immediatly his arms for major roles
-
Major partners at his side: Dany Boon, Depardieu, and Audrey Tautou
-
And the family, the real, his, a essential base for Gad
-
His family always maintained him, it lasts for 39 years,
the age that Gad celebrated this week.
-
When I was a kid in Casablanca, I dreamed that it happens to me.
Yeah, I really wanted it.
-
I wanted it!
-
So if all these numbers, you add the "1"
for one wonderful evening, that we will live now
-
A show revisited and surprises guests, count,
you now have 2935 more reasons to love Gad
-
We are always live at the Palais des Sports in Paris, in a few moments, we will attend
together to the Last of Gad, live, it was never does
-
This is a show that has been rebuilt for the occasion
-
Here's lodge
"This is the dressing room of daddy ", it's probably his son
-
We will discover together the condition of mind of the artist
-
Hello
-
are you OK, are you not too stressed?
-
A little bit, even so, a little
-
This is the first time you do it
69
00:05:00,001 --> 00:05:
This is the first time I'm live, this is the first time
I do my show in front of television cameras who me ... me ...
-
I'm scared!!!
-
have you a ritual?
-
I say a little prayer just before ... uh ... to go on stage
-
Uh ... but I thank all the time, all the time, all the time
I think of public
-
I think of all the faces I saw during the tour
-
And I think the public, everything they gave me such happiness, such joy
and I tell myself "come on, it's mine now give them!"
76
00:05:27:001 --> 00:05:29,000
300 dates, this is a crazy thing
-
How many times you change you on stage?
-
Now, I am changing me ...
You know, I'll tell you, the artists have really blockages with stage fright
-
You think the problem is the jacket
80
00:05:37;001 --> 00:05:40,000
I tell myself "do I put this one, or the other black" while it is the same
-
What do you think, he puts this one, or the other black?
-
In fact ... uh ... in fact I think i should just put the jacket, with which I will go on stage
-
What have you as surprise after?
-
I have surprise guests and surprenants tonight, uh ...
And there are things I've ever done, uh ... there, there, there are some excerpts from my next show
-
Uh ... there are uh, and, there are things that I don't want to know,
there is improvisation, there are ... "voila"
86
00:06:07;001 --> 00:06:11,000
You're ready to go all the way, we crosses full of people, there are artists who are there,
who came to support you, it is very important for you
-
Some could not to be there
-
Like Johnny (French singer)
-
Who you send a little cuckoo
-
(Laurent Gerra imitating Johnny)
-
Hi, this is Johnny
-
My dear Gad, uh ... I wish you a good Last
-
I knew Roger Pierre and Jean Marc Thibault
94
00:06:31,500 --> 00:06:332,500
Laurel et Hardy
-
But Gad and Maleh (Gad et le maleh), uh ... I've never seen
-
So I hope that tonight we will have the chance to see him, the Maleh
-
So, good Last Gad and Maleh!
-
and that the Rock N Roll be with you tonight
-
A word, Gad, I'm not here for your last, but I am sending you a quick hello
100
00:06:53,001 --> 00:07:0;500
I know how it's going to happen anyway, Palais des Sports
this is the last, "Hi!" aaa! "are you OK?" yeah! "It's okay?" yeah!
-
5 minutes of this, after there is the show
-
I make you big kisses Gad
-
Hi Gad, uh ... I could not be here tonight, but uh ...
It was imperative that I announced you, because I estime that you got a right to know
-
Your show is not broadcast on TF1 in this time
-
However, you are distributed right now on TMJ is a TV Cable of
the Lyon region has Viurbane, exactly
-
Which has its personal cable. And your show really pleases at people
and in fact, we already know hearings since all the people who look at you tonight
-
are with me in this room
-
Hello Gad!
-
I do not know if you remember Dominique, apparently, you have lived
something very loud
-
Manu Payet, Timsit, Gerra...
-
Wonderful Johnny ... Gad and Maleh, I never had that, the duo.
-
And it makes me very happy, it makes me incredibly touching, and being greeted like this
and encouraged by friends, by colleagues, by those who know the scene,
-
by those who are alone on stage, too, it's ... that's great
There are others who are alone on stage who will also be here with me tonight
-
I will not say who, but ... I give you a clue?
-
a small
-
They are humorist
-
We will not bother you any longer, it's already huge the fact that we are here,
few seconds before you go on stage, they are very hot!
-
Gad join us in a few seconds, you will see it, is not finished,
there's a lot of things behind the scenes here
-
Follow me, come! If I told you "He likes blondes chest high"
-
This is the individual who is here
-
It's hot, behind!
-
I hear the name "Gad, Gad, Gad!" or "Elie?" No, I do not know
-
I think it's Gad
-
It is a room that I know well, I did my show here too
at the Palais des Sports and it's great
125
00:09:0;001 --> 00:09:02,500
This is a friend, he freaked out a little?
-
Yes, of course he freaked! there is TF1 , there are cameras, there's you, there is the public,
here maybe me, I do not know, I can not say more.
-
Are you the surprise guest?
-
I have an idea but I can not say more
-
What is your favorite sketch of Gad?
-
Euh... le GPS, j'adore ça, le GPS marocain, ça me fais mourir de rire
131
00:09:21,001 --> 00;09:24,000
This is a slaughter, from 7 to 77 years, everyone has already seen the sketches
-
We interviewed the people who made the queue, they all have their history, it was 2h ago
-
A few hours ago, in front of the Palais des Sports,we wait in a calm and relaxed atmosphere ...
-
Gad we love you!
-
Not everyone, they jostling to attend the Last of Gad, nearly 4 000 fans
very demonstrative and not necessarily all very good in spelling
-
Well, of course, what we love in Gad, it's his sketches
-
I like his beautiful blue eyes!
-
And you, madam?
-
I agree with that
-
All fans of Gad, even this small blonde head, what is your favorite skit?
-
Me, my favorite character is Le Blond
142
00:10:4;001 --> 00:10:8,000
And you? Le Blond! LeBlond! Le Blond!
So, clearly the Blond! Clearly, Le Blond!
-
You saw Le Blond, when he eats a sandwich, fuck, the mayonnaise, it doesn't comes out
-
When he eats, there is nothing that surpasses even the tomato, it doesn't comes out of the sandwich!
-
You, you've always a tomato, she wants get their heads of the sandwich to see what happens, like "OK man, okay?"
-
And you, young man, a worship skit?
-
Me, what I prefer is when he is skiing
-
I love skiing, yes, but ...
-
I love sushi! (worship replica )
-
As you madam
-
I agree with that
-
And we especially love Gad when ...
153
00:10:42,001 --> 00;10:45,500
When he is in a nightclub and is completely ... totally drunk
-
The drunk guy in the middle of the floor, he does nothing
-
And you, young man, what's your favorite moment?
-
When he will do the GPS
-
could you make us?
Assistant, thank you
-
Stop the car!
Open the window
-
(with Moroccan accent) Stop the car!
Open the window!
160
00:11:11'000 --> 00:11:15,000
ask him, if is street that you search!
-
ask him, where is, street that you search!
-
So, gentlemen, ladies, to summarize?
-
We're all fans of Gad!
-
And besides, we love sushi
-
You also Mrs.
-
I agree with that
-
Best of Gad in a moment because he will go on stage,
Elie Semoun to my sides, and the public
-
We are just behind the stage and it warm up
-
Are we only on stage?
-
Yes, we are really alone, everything is on our shoulders,
So, it's very impressive, but once you're there, it's great
171
00:11:48,001 --> 00:49,000
He can improvise Gad, he is capable.
-
He can improvise, he can dance, he can sing, when we are supported by the public
this is great, everything can is done
-
Thank you Elie, later, perhaps on stage
Come with me, it's not over
-
They came, look at the poses the individual is surrounded by
Two charming young women
-
Hello Harry!
-
How are you?
I'm OK
-
"Tout ce qui brille" ("All That Glitters", film) is it is these young women
-
There Leila, Geraldine Nakache
Leila Bekhti I pronounce that correctly?
-
Yeah...
-
How you pronounce?
Bekhti
I clearly pronounced
-
You were brought up with Gad
Completely!
-
Generation Gad Elmaleh
-
It is said that Gad has female humor, is he liked by particularly women?
-
Yes!
It is a handsome guy, what do you like most, in him?
-
His finesse
Oh yes, always very fine
-
Me, his teeth
-
His teeth ...
And in Harry?
-
His teeth also, I have a lock with the teeth
-
Have you seen the movie "All That Glitters", Harry?
-
She is exceptional, she sings Celine Dion, sing us Celine Dion.
Come on, we are in the humor tonight!
-
I do not forget you
-
No, no, never
-
Géraldine Nakache, thank you very much
-
Harry, you invited him to the radio, you know him, you saw the show
What should viewers expect tonight? What kind of show?
-
You'll laugh, but you especially, because laughter is not a scoop concerning Gad
but you will discover a particularly incredible showman, a guy who dances, sings, plays the piano
-
Who plays the guitar, who does percussions on his guitar and who improvises, a pro of improv
Me, I was conquered, I hope that the viewers will also
-
A showman, is also a first for TF1, it's live
This is his Last, broadcasted, with skits we know
-
Unpublished sketches, and surprise guests ... Gad Elmaleh on stage, it's a long story
-
And it starts with you this evening, after a short pause, later
200
00:13:53,000 --> 00:14,1,000
We are at the Palais des Sports live on TF1, thank you for joining us
This is a first tonight, Gad Elmaleh will be before 4000 people and before millions of viewers
-
You will be our VIP guests, he leaves the scene, look at him, he is concentrated
-
Full of good things
-
Alone on stage, he will do the show, later
-
He will sing, he will dance, skits that you know, with unreleased, guests
Gad Elmaleh on stage, this is for you, after three years of touring, ladies and gentlemen
-
Over 300 shows, 308 million viewers.
Watch the silence just before, it is gone, I think they feels him, the public feels him, he is surrounded by his team
-
He focuses. Gad Elmaleh
-
Alone on stage
-
With his talent. And surprise guests who will join him. He will also improvise a lot.
It is party, have fun, ladies and gentlemen, Special Gad Elmaleh, live on TF1
-
Good evening!!
-
Good evening!
-
Good evening to all!
-
Thanks... thanks, thanks
Thanks for your welcome
-
A... Yeah!
-
A...
-
A...
-
Thanks!
-
An exceptional evening, tonight, for lots of reasons ... First, because it is the Last of
this show, and uh
218
00:16:32,000 --> 00:16:
But this is a first, too, because when I speak you, in this room,
we are live on TF1, and broadcasted ... uh
-
Throughout France, when I speak, it's live
-
So I know what you're saying to yourself, there are some in the room who say
"Yeah ... darling we could stay home! We could have seen him, free!"
221
00:16:54,001 --> 00:17,1,000
"In addition, I am here for you! Uh ... I didn't know Gab Elamel ! "
-
Uh ... there are some also on TF1, who turned on the TV and who hallucinated who said:
"Honey... I think there are experts in Marrakech!"
-
It's crazy story! This is crazy, because it was not usually it, already, to see you, it's great
and that is what is good when you do it for the TV, you see, there is light, there are a lot of things ...
-
Usually, I do not see people, and now, I realize how you have inattendus faces,
physiognomies improbable ... Very pretty girls are here tonight, I can see
-
Not as much, not as much
-
I'm really happy to celebrate this Last with with you tonight.
We made a very important tour for 3 years throughout France
-
And we met the public ... uh .... in France whose I address in the cameras,
-
and I thank them because it was happiness for 3 years, every night...
-
in every city ... in all areas, everywhere,
-
and I could hear things from the public, which are very surprising
-
Every night, uh ... Thank you!
-
Thank you, uh ... For those who have not heard, there is someone who says "I love you", it is important to know
-
Uh ... Every night, when I was on tour, I asked many things to the public,
-
and I heard the reactions people and sometimes it was quite surprising.
-
Uh, I remember that night in a city where there is a lady who told me ...
-
because she really wanted me to do exactly what I did in my DVD
-
She told me: "Tell me, you will do the bonus?"
-
There are lots of thing you hear every night, I remember the gentleman at the forefront
-
to whom I say "Where are you from?" and he told me "Yes" (pun French) ...
-
A few weeks ago in Belgium, a lady came to me and said:
"I can take a picture with you?" I told her yes she said "Have you a camera?"
-
And there a few weeks ago ... in Morocco
-
Ah! There are Moroccans in the room!
They placed you out there
-
A lady came to me and said "Oh Gad Elmaleh ..."
-
"With your DVD, really ... you're pissing me of laugh
-
You piss my children, you piss my husband , you piss the family! "
-
I said, "Lady, I'm really delighted to piss everyone, it's an honor"
-
Her husband says to me"You do a lot of show in France, you must come here also to reproduce"
-
I told him yes, but not in public ...
-
And then she sees that I have some white hair starting to grow and she wants to use the French expression
-
salt and pepper hair" but it comes out not like that at all from his mouth
-
She says, "It suits you very well seasoned hair !"
-
That I never forget!
-
Are there people who have seasoned hair tonight?
-
it's not aging, that! No, it's not aging, there is someone who tells me that this is aging, no!
-
When you age, that's not it, friends, no!
-
you age when you listen to a lot nostalgia radio and you say "Well, that's music!"
-
You getting old when you think Tokio Hotel is really a hotel, this getting old
-
Guys, sincerely, do not listen the arguments that your wife give you when you have white hair
-
who tells you "this is super sexy, I love, it's great, it's really a small thing, it's great, frankly, it's great"
-
It's the inventions, really, with hypocritical arguments, like when you put on weight, for example, and she say
-
"I like it ..."
-
What is this thing?
"No, I like it!"
-
They even have a name for it! "The love handles"
Soon, it's gonna be "The wheels of desires"
-
Will you do that, you, to your wife ?
-
Do you imagine to say to your wife "Hey that's cute!"
-
Thou shalt not even answer when she asks you if she has put on weight!
-
You scared!
-
When your wife say "Honey, do I gained weight?" you are afraid,
-
you think "If I say yes, she'll yell at me if I say no, she will call me a liar!"
-
When your wife said "Honey, do I gained weight?", You say
"I do not know, honey, I was with the others, there, I saw nothing!"
-
What is these inventions they say that it's sexy to put on weight, soon she will say what?
The hairs in the ears, this is sexy we will make dreads?
-
That snoring is sexy?
-
No. snore, I sympathize, ladies, sincerely, have a guy who snores at home, it's terrible, I say immediately
-
A guy who snores, it's hell, really! So women, they invented something to prevent men snoring
-
which is useless, does not work, but do it anyway she whistle, do you know this stuff?
-
The guy it wakes "Oh, what are you doing?" she said "you snore" "Yeah, but, you, you whistle!"
-
I think the worst thing for a snorer, it's when you're going to spend a night
with your beloved for the first time in your life
-
And she does not know that you snore, and you, you do not want her to know that you snore,
then you remember going to sleep before her
-
You do not wanna fall asleep before her, you resist
-
It should not fall asleep before her
-
but you're betrayed by small teasers, small sounds that you do as a snorer before to sleep
kind ...
-
you know when you will fall asleep, you're always a little shake like that, I do not know why, moreover,
-
I never understood why when you go to sleep, we switch in vibrator
-
Women, too, for that matter
-
No?
-
But you wait, Ok, but ,you, you have more poetic explanation
-
A woman whose you say " What's going on, darling?" and said, "I was falling into the void"
-
It fascinates me, me, it fascinates me, women the night fascinate me!
-
Women talk the night ... Even then, you do not understand, they confuse you, you do not know what happens!
-
Saw you, we listen, we say we will have 2, 3 info, you never know
-
We must be careful at times, you have stuff like "... stuff with Bruno .." Oh fucking
-
Be careful
-
Women hear noises at night, too, is very feminine, there is no guy who hear noises,
is only women who say "Honey, I heard a noise, I swear you ..."
-
And they think the guys "I swear you, there are guys with bows and hair like that!"
-
Et vous dites: «Non, chérie, c'est rien!" parce que vous avez peur aussi!
284
00:23:44,000 -> 00:23:48,000
I think that always fascinate me in marriage, especially among women, is the question
that she can ask you at night
-
It's 4am, you're in bed, the couple, the quiet, the apartment is empty, there is only you and her ...
-
You get up to go to the toilet, she is able to say you "Where are you going?"
-
What happens in your head at this point, what is the delirium?, We are half awake, we are here
How does where I'm going? You're naked ... Uh ... Costume party.
-
And wait, it's not over when you tell him to honestly, it goes further!
The other day I said "Ok, I will not be ironic, I'll answer her honestly"
-
I told him "I go to the toilet" Do you know what she told me? "Well OK then, come back!"
-
I told her, "No, there is a good ambience I remain out there!" Toilet paper, come on, it's the crazy!
-
It's weird, seriously, I can't understand it!
-
After that, we do bizare dreams , we do nightmares
-
Why are we doing all the same nightmares, I never understood!
I feel there is a guy who writes for us, scenarios of nightmares
-
We all dreamed that there's a guy who running after us and that we are unable to run, why?
-
Why do we dream of people whose we can not recount the dream?
-
It never happened you dreaming, for example, of your boss ... nude, in indian
-
Who makes kebabs and says "ayayaya"
-
Well, you can not, in the office, on Monday morning, saying "olala, I must tell you my dream!"
-
I do not know why, when I speak of a guy in an office, I make a gesture like that is a bit of a stereotype
-
There is only in France, where there is this psychomorphologie I Analysed the psychomorphologie
throughout the world, there are only in France, where there are guys who say:
-
"Hey, I need to talk to you about something on a file, compared to ..."
-
Gestures Mediterranean goes into the hands, the arms, the head, kind
"What's going on? ..."
-
In the U.S., it moves ... scarcely
-
I saw a guy in New York who had not seen his mother since ... 12 years!
-
He said "Hi!"
-
He learned of the death of a loved one, he said, "Oh, shit!"
-
And in France "Hey, there are 2, 3 tips that we have to see, compared to ..."
-
I noticed another thing is that these guys who have this gesture, they usually wear a gourmette
-
No, I have nothing against the chain bracelets, I see someone who hides her gourmette, no, I have nothing against the chain bracelets!
-
The only thing I do not understand from the guys who wear goumettes is that there is some they made their name engraved on the gourmette!
-
What is the delirium of those guys, when they are in the shower, they look, they say, "Yeah!!! Jean-Claude!!!"
-
These guys are very organized
-
In general, these guys, they're there, hop, they haven't problems,
sense of direction, organization, planning,barbecue
-
Hop hop hop hop, allez, pitchounou, louloute, Le Blond!
-
I noticed that these guys, they have a sense of direction, I have not it, it's a talent sense of direction
-
I'm like everyone ...
-
I do not know, when I looking for a street, I look up, I don't find it, I ...
-
I have this reflex that everyone has, who is super weird, I turn down the sound of the radio ...
-
This is very strange as reflex, you're here, you're looking ...
-
Wait, wait, you say, "wait, wait, wait 2 seconds" and you turn down ...
-
It is pointless!
-
What do he believes , the guy? it is a mixed? genre you will lower, the street will goes out... it's weird
-
Or, you do something else, you're in bad faith, you angry with children who are behind in the car
-
The poor, they did nothing, they eat of Pépito, and you get upset with them ...
325
00:27:28:,001 --> 00:27:31,000
Because Mr. not find the street, so he berates them
-
Enough cakes!!!
-
And he practices this approximate and rotary knocking of fathers in the car
-
Enough, then, oh!!!
-
When we were kids, with my father, everybody took shots, nanny, babysitter, aunt, friends ...
-
I have no sense of direction, I'm lost
-
My friends, they tell me, "Take thee a GPS, why do you do not take a GPS?
"
332
00:27:55,001 --> 00:27:58,000
Not even with the GPS it's complicated
-
I promise you! You must have a level of sense of orientation elevated, for to use the GPS
-
Sometimes I think, why in the GPS, there are not levels
-
For example, level 1, you do not just say "turn right", you're lost, no, you say
-
"Turn right, not this one which is just a right, it slightly to your left, go!"
-
Continue, avance, vous êtes dans la bonne rue, bravo, ayez confiance en vous, allez, allez, allez, allez, allez, allez, yeah! "
-
It would be nice!
-
Level 2, you say ... uh ... "turn right"
-
Level 3, it say you... uh ... "Guesses"
-
About GPS, a few months ago in Morocco, they invented GPS Moroccan
-
There are fans of GPS!
-
Is it possible to enlighten people who are there, please? Is it possible to show the audience who is there?
-
Yeah!!!
-
Yeah!
-
They had to go see a game, they not have been able
-
In fact, I explain to you, they had tickets for the final match, they have not have been able, they came up with the same banners "Yeah!"
-
Sincerely, GPS Moroccan, this is crazy, I swear, it's unbelievable, already the voice is a man!
-
Who asks news of your whole family as soon as you put the contact
-
Your mother, okay? Your father, okay? Hamdoulah, this is great!
-
Guidance, it is surprising the guy bluntly told me this great phrase that I will never forget
-
(with Moroccan accent) "In 200 meters ...
-
Prepare to go straight! "
-
That's great
-
After that, he said, "turn right!" "Turn left!" "going straight!"
-
I heard afterwards (with Moroccan accent) "Stop the car "
-
Shit! why stops the car ?
-
"Open the window"
-
"Come on, request to him, it's where, the street you are looking for! "
-
They are organized these guys whom I spoke
-
A gourmette, the sense of direction, whatever it takes, a wife, a house, a job ...
-
They are lucky, while me, I am alone ...
-
No!
-
But no, it is for the skit, wait, you will see after
-
Anyway, women do not like humorists
-
Yes!!
-
Seriously? OK, as much for me!
-
I think women like the humorist for laugh 2 seconds, but live with a humorist, it's a hell
-
You do not want to live with a guy who we say hello in the street everyday like it
-
Whatever the condition in which you are, in a divorce, in the midst gastro, we say you hello like this
-
It's hard is not it?
-
I caricature a little
-
And notoriety, nobody talks about it, artists have of modesty
-
It is a taboo, we must not speak of notoriety
-
It must that everyone says "Yeah, I stayed simple, I kept my bearings!"
-
I even heard an interview of an actress who said "I remained normal,
-
I go to the supermarket! "
-
What are you talking about? if you're normal, you do not want to go to the supermarket
-
It's super weird that!
-
I think the notoriety is difficult in daily
-
I can give you an example which shows that the notoriety is difficult, do you want I to give you one?
-
Yes!!
385
00:31:36,001 -> 00:31:38,000
It's anticipated, it's not ...
-
Very responsive audience tonight ... It was expected. Moreover, in this regard, at the end of the show,
-
About "it is expected" when I finish, I will release, it is not worth to say "again," I will return, it is also expected
-
And especially tonight is the Last, I will not leave the stage, I tell you immediately!
-
OK, OK, I give you an example that shows that notoriety on a daily, it is difficult.
-
When you're very famous, it's hard to go to a pharmacy and say "Hello, I would like a box of immodium"
-
You can do it! but you're not immune to a sentence like "Emile,come to see who it is who has the diarrheal!"
-
"he does less the comical"
-
No, women, it's not that they want, they want a guy mysterious, class, elegant, eyes half-closed
-
Who in a evening, goes the piano, he plays a jazz tune
-
Yes! I know what I'm talking about!
-
The number of women, to who I said "I love you" and who said "damn, you're so funny!"
-
No, women, they want to go to this guy, who look like much, like
-
"Yeah, I do not know what happens to me, I want to play music"
-
"I want to ... "
-
What a coincidence, eh?
-
Alala, I wasn't expecting that!
-
Speak about piano and it appears! But then there!
-
Stop, stops it! Last night, he made me cross all the stage...
-
And last week, we got flashed
-
Waw, c'est cool! yeah, waw
-
There are batteries!
-
Actually, uh ...
-
In fact, I wanted to be a musician when I was young, but ...
-
But it was difficult
-
No, I have not had a difficult childhood, no, not at all
-
But a bit special, a bit complex!
-
We were 3 children, one of each sex
-
I adore the time it takes, there are people "waits..."
-
There are someone who really made the ... I really saw someone who has done the math! I have seen you Mrs.
-
No? It is not you? I saw you do the math, it is!
-
Hello! Good evening. How do you call?
-
...
-
Delighted!
-
Cool, it's cool!
-
Your wife, she don't want not at all be on TV, it is under the seat, like that!
-
What do you do in life, sir?
-
Charged ... of study ...? Charged... of study ...
-
There, there is someone, he is not at all ... he is discharged of studies!
-
There's someone who shouted, it is discharged studies!
-
So it is ... this song is to tell you that we do not know what women want
-
Of you!!
-
Oh, you're nice!
-
There are people who say that women they love flowers ... this is foolish things!
-
No! Women do not like flowers! it is a stereotype!
-
Yes! No! Yes!! NO!!! YES!!!
-
AH!!!
-
It was not planned at all, this! Sometimes I do things that ... myself, I was not aware!
-
Uh ... Do not like flowers, ladies
-
Yes!!
-
So, why every time we offer you, you say "Should not"?
-
And, what is this question, every time you give a bouquet of flowers to a woman,
-
She tells you "This is for me?" The number of times we were tempted to say "no, but as you're here, take them!"
-
What I like is when you take the bouquet of flowers and you said
-
"Hmmm, they smell good!" Heck yeah, it's flowers ...
-
Après cela, il ya quelque chose qui est amusant, c'est comme une idée, découverte, une fulgurance, quelque chose de fou, vous dites:
-
"Honey, I'll put them in a vase"
-
Yeah, that's fine, but do not tell nobody, they are going to steal us the idea!
-
I wanted to be a jazz pianist!
-
I look at you and say to myself, this is it, this is soon finished my show, I'm a little sad, I do not want ...
-
You home, who look us and you say, "Oh, I would like to be with them in the room, to live the trick!"
-
But them, they can pick up a pizza, come back, again heat the thing, pushes you!, when is the pub ...
-
...they zap, no, here, we don't zap ! Here, we are together till the end!
-
I wanted to be a jazz pianist, but uh ...
-
There is something very fascinating about musicians, this is the face they make when they play jazz! It has been something like this:
-
Why are they doing this?
-
Then after, I wanted to be a singer, seriously! But I had no words ...
178
00:37:6:500 --> 00:37:9,000
It takes words to sing ...
-
That said, the more I hear the new French song, and I think that there is not even need words,
-
we no longer understand what they sing, I swear you!
-
Guys, they seem to have packages vowel!
-
That's why tonight, for this Last, I would like to dedicate a song ...
-
... that we believe that it is in French, but in fact, not at all
-
At home, on your screen, the words do not appear
-
It is called "One day, I'd gibberish "
-
I don't like, I don't especially not like, when they do stuff like
-
It annoys me!
-
And the worst is that you did not understand, and they say "Together!"
-
If I had to say you real words, yeah-yeah-yeah
-
I would say first, what is good to be with you, live at the Palais des Sports!
-
If I had to say you real words, yeah-yeah-yeah
-
I would suggest that the time for a show tonight, we forget what there is outside
-
Police, taxes, illness, rain, assholes, people who make you shit, and I would welcome all of France!!
-
And I would welcome all France!
-
Are we hot, tonight?
-
I hear nothing at the Palais des Sports, are we hot, tonight?
-
There are guys who are in front of their TV "Darling! Come on, yeah yeah, oh!
-
But what are you doing? He said yea! Recalls the pizza, and say oh!
-
Thanks!
-
(Jamel Debbouze)
-
Bravo! Gad Elmaleh! Bravo! Bravo! Bravo!
-
Olala!
-
All this?!
-
Hello the France!!!
-
Wa, I was not expecting it at all!
-
Because he had to come from on the other side
-
We do live shows!
-
Yeah!
-
You do live broadcasts in secret!
-
No, not in secret!
-
You do not call friends!
-
No... no, no!
-
I was in front of my TV, I saw that ... it was written under, live, I said "I come check!"
-
Is this live for real?
-
It's live, look
-
It's live!
-
Is it expensive, that?
-
Yes, it's live, all live, all that you say, that, that ... look, people are live
-
It's live! There is no ...
-
There is no ... there is no intermediary it's live, there are no customs of mouth!
-
Non-stop live! Pak!
-
You say what you want
-
Anything you want!
-
If, for example, wait ... We live, shut your trap!
-
You'll to shame, you'll to shame!
-
If for example you say, uh ...
-
Nicolas Sarkozy... WAÏ WAÏ WAÏ!!!!
-
Wo wo wo wo... Wow wwo wow!!! Wow wow wow wow!!
-
Please!! Ola Jolly Jumper!!
-
Calm, quiet life!!!
-
We can not say anything, then?
-
Yes, you can say, but it depends on the end of the sentence!
-
Olala, television!
-
All that is ...
-
This is a great system!
-
Frankly ... your mother must be proud!
-
What?
-
You're entered in the family of Michel Drucker!!!
-
Congratulations!! Bravo!!
-
That's good news!
-
The family of Michel Drucker !
-
He! You know, when you enters to the family of Michel Drucker, you can go through a red light !
-
You don't pay the train, you don't pay the tax, you do as you want!
-
I want to say "Vivement dimanche!" (Confidentially Yours - TV show)
-
It makes me really happy to see you, you know ... this is crazy! this is CRAZY! !
-
Your mother, She is fine? Your mother?
-
Ah, my mother ... She is angry at the moment ...
-
Why?
-
She wants to make a complaint against Cohn-Bendit ...
-
Cohn-Bendit? Why?
-
The trick of green, environmentalists ...
-
Shut up! Shut up! He take the piss out of my mother!
-
No, not at all!
-
This is Cohn-Bendit, nothing to do
-
Because she said it was she who invented the ecology
-
Why?
-
This is the truth, in addition! Why?
-
1 bath for 9, this is my mother, that!
-
Carpooling! 12 in a Renault 12! This is my mother, that! Recycling, a schoolbag for the whole family!
-
And it's true, it's my mother. To calm her down , I took her to the Comedy Club, in my little theater
-
Yeah, I know!
-
She is at the credit union of the Comedy Club, it handles it like a grocery ...
352
00:45:51,000 --> 00:45,52,000
Everything's all right
-
She pours all the profits, to an association which works for the welfare of the family Debbouze
-
It is an association lucrative, aimlessly ...
-
We do what we want money
-
That's good, seriously, it makes me really happy!
-
And You, your mother, how is she?
365
00:46:88,501 --> 00:46:11,000
Well, great! She is stayed stuck, not long ago, in the United States
-
Because aircraft. Many people have been the victim of ... volcano!
-
She went to the United States, she had a problem, she doesn't speak English
-
And she said a trick! Our mothers, they don't do express, but they said great jokes
-
She called the airport, there, and she said "I believe I can fly" Yes or no?
-
She is insightful, your mother
-
Yes, this is not the last of Moulicanne!
-
And the love life?
-
Ah! Everything's all right!
-
We will not go into the ... It's not our business!
-
Everything's all right, I'm very happy, I am very proud to see that ...
-
I came for to guarantee this show!
-
Oh! Thank you ... Thank you! It makes me happy! really
-
You can give me a paper for...
-
I do a paper...
-
And then, whole of France look at we !
-
Yes, all France, all regions
-
Mom! This is the show of your son live on TF1
-
Your father, okay?
-
Well, also very angry because he doesn't like that I sell alcohol at Comedy Club ...
-
What did he say?
-
He said, "Never in the life, a Debbouze, he will sell alcohol, never!"
-
I said, "Dad, it pays € 3,500!" he said, "we must make cocktails!"
-
He kisses you, and he hope that everything is well!
-
That's great, that's great!
-
Your mother, she met your family, everything is well, your wife, festivals, weekend, France!
-
You take me in the act of ...
-
If you don't want to talk it, I understand!
-
Everything was very well! I was worried about culture shock!
-
His family, my wife, she is from "Saint Hilaire du rosier" in the Isère
-
Her mother is a psychologist! Her father, he is a saxophonist! Very well organized
-
Me, my mother ... My family is from... Trappes, in stone-broke
-
My father ... My mother is housekeeper-ist
-
My father, he is schizophrenic-ist! He plays the schizophrenic!
-
Everything was very well
-
And what moved me ... I aprehendais the clash of cultures,
-
and before the first time that my in-laws came to us,
-
My mother, she worked her French!
-
Oh, that's moving, it!
-
When my stepmother she came in, She told her, "Where do you want to sit-ir, in my opinion?"
-
My father, to rectify the situation, he said, "No, madam desolate, it is not that!
-
she wanted to say "where do you want to sit-ir, in my opinion of you!"
-
Cohabitation was done perfectly!
-
Wait, wait, this is a nice surprise!
-
Just, you're much absent from the scene, you're so absent,
-
I was afraid you come back in Polnareff!
-
With glasses and ... all ...
-
Me too, am like this, I really want ...
-
You will come back on stage soon! I hope!
-
I'm like that, I can not anymore, I really want come back on stage
-
Because my son, he wants to see you on stage!
-
How is he?
-
He's fine! 9 years! In upper sixth ! Uh ...
-
Jealousy of France! Of course!
-
He's fine, he can not wait to see your show, really!
-
I too am eager to see it! Sometimes when I'm alone in the street, I shouted "Run Amstérisme, run!" (replica film)
-
I want to go back!
-
How will you call your show?
-
First ... I tell you the world exclusive
-
February, Casino de Paris
-
Is it in Paris?
-
Yeah!
-
How will you call your show?
-
This is great! People, they are very well ...
-
They are beautiful here! Your audience is beautiful!
-
Yeah, because I saw yours, it is not at all the same!
-
They have faces ... unexpected!
-
And they understand all the stuff
-
You, I saw,it is more ... they do not know how ...
-
Yeah, dubitative! They wait always
-
It's not .... yes, yes ...
-
I know her, she! It's my public, that!
-
Traitor! Traitor ...
-
We will see it, later, after the show
-
How will you call your show?
-
"This is it!"
-
I really wish you good luck! Really, it makes me very very happy that you came to see me, the impromptu!
-
At the impromptu, my brother!
-
I expected really not
-
Changes nothing! Stays that way!
-
Thank you!
-
Jamel Debbouze!!!
-
It can take me, your piano?
-
Yeah!
-
Jamel Debbouze!
-
Gad Elmaleh!!
-
See you soon!
-
Long live France!
-
I was not expecting it!
-
When you will see Madonna, it will be ...
-
It's cool, it make me happy, it is moving to see friends, they have changed, they evolve, they have children .....
-
This morning I was talking with my son, uh ... this is cute, kids!
-
He told me, "Dad, where are you going?" I said, "At the Palais des Sports"
-
I said "For what?", "The show!" he said "The same as yesterday?"
-
I said "Yes!" "The same day before yesterday?" "Yes!" he said "Haven't they fed up, people?"
-
It's cute! this is cute ...
-
So, I explained to him that the public changed all the time! and I tried to put him to sleep with lullabies ...
-
I am tired these lullabies! Seriously, is it possible to stop 2 seconds on lullabies French?
-
There's enough! It's not possible! French lullabies, this is madness!
-
Wait, immediately! uh ... wait!
-
No, no, not the shirt, if I take off the shirt, you're gonna say "Remit it!"
-
Seriously, most lullabies French, this is crazy!
-
I analyzed, moreover, what inspired me the title of the show "Dad is at the top", "Go to sleep, Colas my little brother"
-
Already, there are no kid called Colas
-
Colas, it's 2/3 of a first name, it's like if the kid is named Demetrius, and you tell him
-
"Go to sleep, Metrius my little brother ..."
-
And the second verse is even more surreal
-
"Dad is upstairs, who makes some cakes" What is delirium, guy, he needs to be upstairs to make a cake?
-
"Mom is downstairs, who makes chocolate!"
-
Madam, she can not go to the supermarket like everyone, to buy it,
-
No, madam she does it! "I produced it myself!"
-
They are making fun of we, in this song!
-
This is a couple, who had to make a chocolate cake together
-
they quarreled, him, he went upstairs , she, she stayed down, and that's it!
-
All the songs, that's how! Even "Brother Jacques" if we take "Brother Jacques" OK?
-
"Brother Jacques, are you sleeping?" what question, she asks...
-
Are you sleeping? she said? but are you stupid or what? Are you sleeping?
-
You can see he don't sleep or if he sleeps, do not ask him!
-
And if he sleeps, don't say "Ring the bells", it'll wake him up!
-
There is one, it is worse, friends, I'm telling you right now!
-
Children's song, which begins, first sentence, by:
-
"I have good tobacco!"
-
There, it's a lot more serious! "in my snuff box!"
-
Soon, it will be "I have good shit, in my shishit-box!
-
I have good cocaine in my cocaine-box!
-
In addition, this song is super weird, it is perverse, even!
491
0054:3,001 --> 00:54:7,000
"I have good tobacco in my snuff-box, I have good tobacco and you will get none!!"
-
Can you imagine the kid? "Do you want tobacco? Eh ben, NO!!!"
-
The ultimate for me, it's not it! The top of suréalisme and madness
-
And then, the guy, for me, he took drugs, I do not know what he took
-
He wrote the song, it's "A green mouse"!
-
There, the guy said "It's okay, I'm ready! Move over, I'm going to write a big delusion!"
-
Do you ever analysed this song, seriously?
-
"A green mouse, running through the grass..."
-
"...I catch it by the tail, I show it to these men..."
-
"...These men tell me, "dip it in oil, dip it in water"...
-
"...It will turn into a snail, a hot one!"
-
Here, I think, really, people, home!
-
"Honey, Ben, now they sing" A green mouse ", there
-
"Listen, I do not want to zap, because I like it, it looks to be a good ambience
-
"But it sings, in the choir, on TF1," A green mouse "I think we're in a big frenzy, there!"
-
"There is a delusion, then, I do not know what they are doing, there!"
-
"They are crazy! "
-
Seriously, this song is crazy "A green mouse, running through the grass, I catch it by the tail"
-
Damn, what's the delirium? Why do you catch it by the tail? leave her alone, she did anything!
-
"I show it to these men" Who are "these men"? Everyone acts as if we know who are these men!
-
Of course, there are always the gentlemen who are there, in the grass, in the case of green mouse, yeah!
-
These gentlemen, they'll prescribe a treatment for this mouse, a violence, an atrocity!
-
This is horrible!
-
"Dip in the... water"
-
Sorry! In oil! Pardon me ma'am! Sorry! Sorry! Excuse me!
-
There, there is a lady who corrected me, like if it were a text of Molière, you see!
-
Well known to everyone, and that I had made ??a big stupidity!
-
I said into the water, she told me "In the oil, of course!"
-
It is in the oil! Genre "I know well the frying of mouse!"
-
Hello!
-
What's your name?
-
Pardon?
-
Marie-Hélène!
-
And what do you do for a living?
-
Accountant!
-
Nah, I'm kidding
-
Is he your husband?
-
Yeah? Him, He says no ...
-
It is very strange!
-
Hairdresser? There is someone who says, "We we're hairdresser". They want to celebrate ... Ok, ok ...
-
Well ... Yeah!
-
You're a hairdresser, there is something that I do not understand in the hairdresser, it's the question you ask before making shampoo
-
"You've washed it when?"
-
I never understood this delirium, sincerely!
-
It changes nothing! I do not understand, if I tell you 11 days, you will not call for backup!
-
I love, I love the improvisation, the only problem, is that I lose myself, I don't know any more where I was in the show...
-
And there, people at home, who watches TV, " He is lost after the green mouse!"
-
"The green mouse, now he is completely lost, eh!"
-
Where I was ?
-
Thank you! thank you!
-
There are some people, he couldn't care less completely! In front row, There are people "So, no idea!"à!"
-
There are people, "Listen, young man, we bought our tickets very expensive, many years ago, it is not you blow your replicas
-
"Then, come on! please!"
-
I'm kidding!
-
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!
-
Dip in oil! We were in something poetic, beautiful and not violent
-
Obviously it was green, mouse, she knew exactly what was going to happen to her!
-
Dip in oil!
-
It went well!
-
The look of the hairdresser!
551
00:57:59,000 --> 00:58,1,000
Dip in the water!
-
And there! They tell you ...
-
That if you do that ...
-
So, I no longer understand at this time, eh!
555
00:58:13,001 --> 00:58:18,000They tell you ... I do not know how they do it! I do not know by what preceded chemical, nuclear, biological ...
-
They tell you it will give you a snail all hot ...
-
This is a big lie!
-
It does not give you a snail all hot, it gives you just one animal completely died ...
-
but I could care a bit because I have no attachment to animals, I say frankly ...
-
No, but I like animals, but okay, I'm not doing:
-
I don't like, OK!
-
And what are these reactions? Cats, for example, I do not like cats, ok! That's it! I say it, it's okay!
-
That is the real difference between animals and humans
-
Olala! Olala! this is shocking! Olala! "Eh, darling, he does not like animals, now!
-
Because if we were in a show of cats with a humorist cat who ...
-
Either you get into delirium or not, that's all!
-
Because if we were in a show of cats with a humorist cat who says "I do not like humans"
-
And well, cats, they'll never make:
-
The cat, it is useless ...
-
He is there, all day ...
-
It is making fun of we! it makes you believe ... it makes you believe that things happen, like:
-
After that, it says, "Well, I will continue to do nothing, but there !"
-
And, on the way, he says "Not sure ..."
-
When he wants to give you a scare, it disappears 2, 3 hours...
-
When he wants a rise megalo and see pictures of him in all bakeries
-
It disappears 5 days and he passes front of the shops ...
-
I do not like, and then, their stuff
-
And this is when the mother is standing you said "You want me to go?"
-
Aha, it's scary, huh? We do not like cats, huh!
-
Dogs, same!
-
You've seen guys with their dogs, who walk with their dog on a leash ...
-
Yeah, that's my dog, I am the owner of this animal, yeah, no problem!
-
Wait! I have an uncle who told me, "But you can not you realize, the dog is smart! It's great!"
-
I said, "But how, is he intelligent?"
-
He said, "For example, I throws him something, it'll get it, then he brings it back!"
-
But keep it in your hands, this thing, it's the same!
-
So people, they speak with their dog, this is something ... This is a real thing, they speak with their dog, like
-
"I'm not happy!
-
I am not happy at all! No, no, no, you must not do that!, No!
-
One day, I was in Holland, Amsterdam, and I saw a gentleman who spoke with his dog, in Dutch
-
So then, it's a delirium!
-
He believes that the dog, it understands the Dutch ! The dog, he looks, already he does not even know he speaks, then, in Dutch ...
-
Well, on TV, it has reached a climax ...
-
"Well, then, he speaks Dutch, this is bullshit! we even know what he does!
-
It is a sect! "
-
And the dog, He looks at him, he even know!
-
He looks at him, he responds him in normal dog!
-
No effort to integrate, like
-
I do not really like animals, I...
-
But I do not want to hurt them ...
-
Moreover, hunting, I do not like, it shocks me ...
-
Fishing, it's ok, you noticed!
-
Fishing, it's underneath, you can't see it!
-
About that, I do not know what you, you think about that
-
But I feel that the fish is the animal most stupid of all species!
-
I say that because since years, the century that we are fishing
-
There is not a fish that suddenly realized of the fish hook, and going to alert, guys ... There is not one!
-
There is no one who can say "Wa, I understood! When you see a earthworm like that, do not bite it!"
-
No, they are here, for years, they see the thing ...
-
There is no one who has been caught and released, which can go warn, like
-
It happened to me a crazy thing!
-
They beat me up my head!
-
No, I was trying to swim, tranquil!
-
I was hungry! I was very very hungry!
-
I bit into the thing, he pulled me like that! I removed the other side like that!
-
This is bullshit, the fishes...
-
The only fish I like is the goldfish that we have, at home
-
In the aquarium!
-
It's cute, kids have that, huh!
-
Yeah!
-
Nah, but it's true, it's ...
-
It is pointless!
-
Apart from to say weird things , like "Alala, he is not dead yet!"
-
This is very strange, this is the only pet we buy and waiting to see him die ...
-
Sometimes we go on vacation 4, 5, 6 weeks, the only thing that comes to mind, once we arrive, it is even an obsession, it is
-
"Is it dead, goldfish?"
-
We have invoices to pay, laundry to washing, no, we go into the kitchen, gently to see if the fish is dead.
-
"Come children, we go see if it is dead or it is not dead!"
-
And then, the fish, it makes you the same plan, it remains inert and as soon as you approach, he does
-
There is a crazy thing, when you have a fish in an aquarium, and that friends come to see you at home,
-
They all have the same reaction, rather stupid, they go to the aquarium and they do
-
But why do they do that?
-
The other day, even the fish, he looked at my friend, seem to say ...
-
"What do you want me to say?"
-
"Come in!"
-
This is crazy!
-
I don't have attachment for the animals ...
-
"Look, he drinks water, as in the DVD!"
-
"He drinks a lot, but he never goes out for to pee!"
-
No, but goldfish, I could care a bit ...
-
Then animals, I have no attachment, but I do not want to hurt them ...
-
It's like the environment! do not ... no obsessions, need to stop giving lessons to everyone ...
-
We must do this and must do that!
-
I acted as a citizen, in favor of the environment, as everyone
-
For example,
-
When I receive an email, there is written "before printing, think about the environment!"
-
I think ...
-
And I print!
-
But, do not overdo it, I mean, for example, when he sees you in 4x4 and tells you
-
"Yeah! Think about polar bears!"
-
I said "What? Even polar bears, they want 4x4, now?"
-
This is my son who is really interested in it, I was told that the children, for that, its interesting!
-
So my son, I do not sleep, at night, with lullabies as I mentioned, 2 min ago!
-
Not at all! No, I tell you stories!
-
Or I stay close to him, and I look doing dreams!
-
It's cute, huh!
-
It is all those who do not have children who will find it cute
-
All who have children, they say "fuck me when he sleeps ... I do not ..."
-
It's hard to take care of children, especially when they are small!
-
When they are babies
-
And guys, we don't have this stuff that women have, this kind of thing natural
-
How many times the guy, sincerely, we pretend, when they were babies, not having heard him crying at night?
-
Occasionally, it ensures guys, yes or no?
-
Yes!!!
-
I hear nothing, we assure guys, anyway! Oh!!
-
Yes!!!
-
The only problem is that us guys when we assure, we need a imediate recognition!te!
-
When a guy gets up at night to make a bottle, he wishes there was an orchestra in the kitchen
-
Which plays a jingle "You're a great guy! You do a bottle, na-na-na-na!"
-
That's men, they need recognition, they need to be told "Thank you!" "Bravo!"
-
When a guy will to make a breakfast for Sunday, since wednesday, he makes you movie trailers!
-
"On Sunday, Dad will make breakfast!"
-
"In your house, butter, jam, coffee and tea!"
-
"Calm down, you're gonna buy 2 baguettes, okay!
-
That's it!
-
I promise that this is like this, we can't do nothing!
-
I try to do things!
-
One day, I remember, I really wanted to make sure, I was awake, I'm sure it's happened to you all
-
To do it at least once!
-
You're at the top, as a dad ever was on top! You dressed, you cover, you prepare the taste, you prepare homework
-
You prepare everything, you see the specifications if it is signed ... You ever been in a top like that, like a dad could not be at the top!
-
And it's Wednesday ... (In France, no classes on Wednesday)
-
They are people who say, "Yeah, I know!"
-
Little anecdote, small parenthesis
-
I made this joke in Belgium ... It did not laugh at all, I do not know why ...
-
I knew after why is that there was class on Wednesday ...
-
In fact, there were 4000 guys who looked at me as if to say
-
"Yeah, ba, you take him to school, you bored us with your stories!"
-
I hope there are no Belgians in the theatre tonight ...
-
Yes, there are Belgians! Yeah, there are Belgians in the theatre tonight!
-
Where are you from?
-
Belgium!
-
Belgium? Yeah, I know! ...
-
I said, "is there has Belgians?" "You said" Yes, "I said," Where are you from? " You tell "Belgium ..."
-
You know? it is you, who are looking, Belgians ...
-
There are Belgians who are watching on TV, too!
-
Ah, that's cool, welcome to the Belgians who came tonight, sincerely, it's nice!
-
It happened to me, so ... that thing ...
-
Yeah! You can not say cities of everybody, and villages, seriously!
-
I propose that each tell the name of his city at three! 1, 2, 3!!
-
We know not at all where it's situated!
-
Anyway, uh ...
-
What I wanted to say is that to care for a child, it's really hard!
-
I love to drive him to school, but also go get him for observe people front of the school
-
It is fascinating to watch the tense dads who say hello between them so stressed ...
-
Is it not crazy? people arrive at 16h, they know that children arrive at 16:30 and for 30 minutes, they say "alala I do not know what happens!"
-
What they believe, there is a panel that will down with written "Canceled", it's weird anyway!
-
And moms, they love to be in a kind joy, they are happy, they will pick up the kids at school
-
Hi, how are you? Yes great! they are happy!
-
What is fascinating in mothers is that they seek their children ...
-
It is their children ... but they seek
-
As if they had been given an approximate description
-
Oh no, he's not him...
-
It is very strange, and when he comes out, they put pressure him
-
"It's okay, honey? Let's go home, take a snack, do homework, tonight, it's dad who will keep you, because tomorrow granny ... "
-
The kid, he said "Damn, I should have stayed in school!"
-
I do not know if you've noticed that, uh ...
-
When you get to the doors of a school, the doors open ...
-
The first children who leave
-
They belong, never to anyone ...
-
This is super weird, it looks like they are false, for the others they follow
-
Which reminds me exactly the same thing at the airport, the first suitcase arrive on the mat
-
I know this is long as you do not fly, with all that is happening, but ...
-
Sincerely, the first suitcase, it turns for hours, there was never a guy who said
-
"Ah bah! It is the first, well here I am favored" No!
-
For hours, she turns
-
It fascinates me people front of their suitcase, their behavior is really fascinating, it's really funny
-
People front of their suitcases, they know it is theirs, they know it's coming, they know it, and when it comes out, it can not help but be happy!
-
My suitcase!
-
But it's up to you! They are giving you, your dirty clothes! Not ironed!
-
This is super weird, as behavior , right?
-
And then there is...
-
And then there are other people, there are couples who comando, seriously, I've never understood!
-
couples who say "Honey, I Will stay here, you, you go on the other side"
-
"And the first person who sees it, he made ??a sign to the other like that!"
-
I noticed one thing, a few weeks ago in an airport, ladies and gentlemen, I do not know if you saw, there are at airports, stores of suitcases!
-
This is crazy! Is there really people who arrive at the airport, with all the clothes, like that?
-
There are people who say "Yes!" there, I see them!
-
It has become so difficult to travel because of security! Psychosis security!
-
Wey! Take off your shoes! Take off your belt! Open your mouth! Returns to the thing! Beep sounds!
-
And that! The new terrorist weapon! Here it is! When a customs sees it, "please!"
-
I say, "It's true, I will make a big stuff! Hold voila!"
-
It's crazy, that!
-
A bottle of water! This is a bottle of water!
-
They look at you as if you had two guns in hand!
-
I say "No, but I would make a big stuff, Indeed, no, it's true, I wanted to put it under the carpet, so people in the plane, sock, walk over..."
-
They do not have a lot of humor about that, do not provoke them ......
-
Then if you want to throw it away, because they want to throw it, they want you to drink it! Yeah!
-
Except that there are times in your life when you did not thirsty! You do not want to ...
-
They want you to drink, and you, like an idiot, you're here, at once, before a customs officer!
-
When it is water! Because sometimes, it's the alcohol that you bought for the family, you had forgotten that you could not take liquid!
-
The other day, better! I was with my girlfriend, I returned, she, she put all the beauty product she had brought with her!
-
She said "I do not care, I do not spoil!" Hair mask, mask ...
-
I said, "Come on let's go!" I pulled out the shaving foam,
-
I put shaving foam, I pulled out the hair gel, I began, too, a mask sunscreen
-
We drank all the booze... But we were safe!
-
After, go on the plane, you have to go in a way, a little staggered, why? I do not know!
-
Why did the guys put ribbons, like this? we look like a Pacman!
-
What are you doing? And Ben, I travel!
-
You arrive in the airplane, for listen the pilot who you talks ...
-
He does not know how to use a microphone! Why the drivers all speak like that?
-
I don't know ...
-
All this, to give you information,enough useless in general ...
-
One day, there's a driver, who was traveling, he would tell us, where, he would go...
-
Qu'est-ce que tu veux lui dire, franchement?
-
Where it will go, he's there, he leads, he wants to tell you where it will go ...
-
What do you want me to say? "No there! there are traffic jams!"
-
There is another, he wanted to tell us the temperature of outside the airplane! Not inside, outside of the airplane!
-
In case you have the urge to smoke a cigarette on the wing or something like that ...
-
"The temperature outside is -72 degrees C (-97.6 degrees F)" What do you want to tell?
-
Apart "Alala, it must be very very cold!"
-
We Are weird in the airplane, you're scared, you're hungry!
-
You get bored! Me, I'm bored on the plane, you talk to anyone about anything!
-
When they distribute the small towels that smell good, you say "Yeah, I'll live the moment!"
-
The other day, I was there, she distributed the towels, I was there, I opened it...
-
I watched my neighbors "It smell good!"
-
It smells good, my friends from the airplane!!
-
And oddly enough, you know it is not good that you will eat, but you prepare as if you will make a great meal!
-
What's crazy is that they will serve you to eat, you know you'll eat shit, but still, you have a little hope and you prepare you!
-
The shelf slowly ...
-
Yes! We'll eat shit!
-
I wanted to go to the bathroom ...
-
When the toilet is occupied on the airplane and that someone is waiting to go to the toilet, he don't say you that it's busy!
-
He leaves you try to open it, you can not, he looks at you and he does
-
Genre: "I wanted that you learn it by yourself!"
-
It is very strange!
-
Friends! During this time I speak, I realized something!
-
The suitcase just now, it goes round, it doesn't stop!
-
Just like some children who are out of school, I was talking about, and nobody came to pick!
-
This is crazy!
-
There are all kinds of children out of school! If they were adults, they it would not be cute, but because it's children
762
01:15:501 --> 01:15:57,000
They say "It's cute!" But sometimes it's scary!
-
When you get to the exit of school, There comes out with the hair exploded, a sword, a shoe!
-
It's weird!
-
There are all kinds of children
-
Who annoys me is the one that comes without school bag! Nine and a half years, 10 years, no school bag!
-
There is the girl model, little glasses, small quilts, short skirt, she sees her father
-
"My Dad!"
-
And there's child that nobody came to pick him!
-
waiting!
-
Like all children, he waits, he does weird things with his body ...
-
I do not know if there are children in the theatre ... Yes, I see that there!
-
But sincerely ...
-
Hello children!
-
You do crazy tricks with your body I never understood!
-
Children waiting for their parents to the school, they are in the conditions, if they were adults ...
-
You say ... they really have a problem psychomotor!
-
No, childrenthey wait their parents to school like that!
-
And the thing they all do, I never understood why they all do! That's it!
-
We agree, anyway!
-
Voila, they do it!
-
And because they are children, they think it's cute!
-
Imagine you meet your banker on Monday morning, like that in the street!
-
"Hello, how are you? Yeah, great, great!"
-
This is crazy!
-
Waw!
-
It's funny, this is the first time that I see me on the screen, playing myself!
-
This is the first time I surprise me playing in my show!
-
Wait, wait, I just had a vision! A flash! Made a big plan!
-
Made a big plan! Elie Kakou!! (humorist death)
-
Special dedication to Elie Kakou!
-
Extraordinary!
-
he's amazing! Obviously ...
-
Gad Elmaleh on stage, it is an event, and it is shared, it is not finished! It is in your ving room, tonight!
-
Other guests will arrive, a lot of surprises
-
The show continues tonight and scoop! Jamel announces exclusively live on TF1, his return, it will be next February
-
At Casino de Paris. Thank you for remaining faithful in a moment, later with other guests!
-
It is in a few seconds, stay with us! Enjoy watching after the pub, immediately!
-
We live at the Palais des Sports!
-
With you tonight!
-
Re-hello France! Re-evening to you, who look at us at home!
-
This is the Last, with a hot public !
-
I talk to people in front of their TV ...
-
You've seen the commercials, us, we lived things
-
I told you the truth! You had commercials for cheese, chocolate, car ... insurance
-
And us, we lived crazy things, someone came on stage ... People will tell you
-
Welcome back with us, we're back live on TF1, for the Last of this show!
-
"Honey, where was he before the pub, a TV?"
-
I was there! I made a dedication to Elie Kakou and it was very cute!
-
Children who do that, do not yell them! Children who do stuff like that, no, no, no! Should not yell children who do that!
-
Well, I just had a memory, a flash, that you already happened, when you were small, sometimes ...
-
Your father, he berates you, and you, you have a laugh ...
-
For lots of reasons, either because he missed you when he wanted to put you one ...
-
Or because he ran after you, and he slipped ...
-
Already see him run, you're laughing, you know!
-
He runs to the old, with hands close enough to the ground like that ...
-
He is there, and you, you are laughing
-
I love this time of the show, it allows me to do a bit of sport!
-
With the crazy planning, I have more time to do my jogging ...
-
Nah, seriously, you're laughing because sometimes your father
-
Yell when he says incredible things that doesn't mean anything anymore...
-
He is so angry, you never noticed that? When your father says "I do not care that you ... you ... you ... you give nothing! Your brother or you, it's the same thing!"
-
"We will soon calm down and take forever bullshit there, OK?"
-
"So you go to your room and at the table!"
-
Who is in command here?!
-
No sir! There's no ... of ... and ... nothing .... there's no ... of ... that ..., wohohoho!
-
Where are we going now?
-
After that, he will invent kinds of nickname with stuff that have annoyed, like "Come here, Mr. I do not like beans!"
-
Where is Madam I don't want to do my homework?
-
come see Mr. she will take a slap in the face, you'll see what it means!
-
This is crazy!
-
I even remember where he was so angry, I swear it's true, he was so pissed
-
He took the water bottle like that, and he said "But what is there?"
-
He went yelled at my brother and back in the room, he said "And that, what this is?"
-
You will clean it!
-
Illico Macias!
-
What we told his dad when we do stupid things like that, what do you say?
-
You've noticed that children who want to talk crying, they seem to have no network...
-
You wanna tell them "Move you!"
-
"This is a child Bouygues or SFR?" (Mobile Operators)
-
Sorry!
-
Sorry to whom?
-
Sorry to whom!!
-
No!!
-
What do you say?
-
Sorry!
-
What?
-
Then after he cries, and they modify their tears depending on the distance of the parents, it's crazy!
-
Kind, more the parents are far, the more they lower the tears, the closer they get, the more they turn up the volume, they are strong, kids!
-
And we, we do not know what to do, does it have to be hit, yelled at, talk to them ...
-
We listen to advice from people who generally do not have children
-
It's the specialists
-
Those who do not have children, it is they who give you advice thinking really they know exactly!
-
I have a friend the other day who told me
-
"Gad ... you should never hit your children ... when you're angry"
-
I said "OK, and when do you hit them, then?"
-
You waiting them to be cushy watching a DVD, right?
-
You say, "OK, they look at SpongeBob, they will take one in the head!"
-
You waiting to be on vacation with them, walking on the seaside, quiet, and at the time when they least expect it "Pak", right?
-
Think!
-
What does that mean?
-
She told me "No, I don't have a TV, I don't even have TV" There are people in France who don't have TV
-
I do not have a TV ... I do not have a TV, I do not have radio, I do not have the hard facts, I ride a bike, I gave birth at home, I eat grass ... "
-
She even told me "The next baby, I will give birth in pool! Yeah! It warns, it avoids the trauma of the child!"
-
Oh yeah! She did not think the trauma of guy who will be swimming in the pool ...
-
"Yeah ... I'm a subscriber Yogetable a magazine on yoga and vegetables!"
-
They annoy me those people!
-
She told me "It is imperative that children, they make drawings, they should not play games élctroniques, the PS, the Ds, do not they play at all that
-
It really need that they do the drawings, the drawing must be an extension of their creativity, they have buried in them, it is necessary that the line, whether imaginary
-
or real, is actually an extension of this kind of ...
-
I said "stops, stops, stops ... stops, shut your trap, stopped!"
-
I do not want ...
-
It may not be politically correct what I say, but most of the children's drawings, it sucks, it's bullshit!
-
It is unsightly, not harmonious, it goes in all directions!
-
And everybody is rhapsodizing "Olala cute!"
-
"Did you do it alone?" Well thankfully!
-
do you imagine if in addition, we have helped to make this shit?
-
The other day, my son, he drew me a home ... he showed me, I told him "But if we had a house like this, we would be in deep shit!"
-
I told him "Dad, he departed from nothing, he don't want to go back!"
-
I said "And that, who is it ?" he told me "it's mom!"
-
I told him "Do not show her!"
-
He told me "why," I said, "No, don't show her , no, no, no, do not ... and that, who is it?
-
He told me "It's Dad!"
-
Oh yeah ...
-
Dad is smaller than mom, and he's blue!
-
go! go make me a good drawing! Go!
-
Enough, suns with sunglasses and bullshit of children's drawings, the stereotypes, animals of four seasons in the same drawing, the trees growing in the house!
-
She told me "Do not yell, you're crazy, he drew you in blue, you, the father figure, damn, this is an obvious lack of magnesium!"
-
there is no lack of magnesium, there's just too much hypocrisy among people, that's enough!
-
But yes!
-
People ask questions, make pleasure of them, I noticed that the other day, again
891
01:26,31,001 --> 01:26:34,000
I was at a party and people were wondering, this famous question in society
-
"Do you want to see a picture of my children?"
-
Frankly ... Is that it is a real question, that? This is not a real question you can't answer anything other than "yes" to this question ...
-
When someone says "Do you want to see a picture of my children?" you can't say "No, frankly I don't feel it..."
-
Or you can't tell him "No, when I see you and I see your wife I imagine the result, I do not want to ..."
-
you say yes, but more...
-
You see the child and you say, "He's cute!"
-
But sometimes there are kids who are not cute ... sometimes ...
-
Sometimes you see the photo, you say "Wa! He is alive!"
-
And of course, if it's the dad who showed you the photo, you say "he looks like daddy!"
-
Well yeah, you will not say "he looks like Bébert, the guy who works with your wife ..."
-
If this is the mother, you say "It looks like Mom!" Of course!
-
"What's his name?" And they will tell you the name, you say "It's original, it's beautiful I've ever heard!"
-
All the time, it's beautiful, it's pretty ...
-
About birth, I received a text message a few days ago of a friend ...
-
Who sent me the announcement of the birth of his son, I was so excited!
-
But he put me once again, the useless info that everyone puts, the exact weight of the child.
-
Why do you put it? 2.679 ... Stop it! We don't care! In addition, it's his privacy, do not say how much weight people, it does not!
-
Imagine if you do that with adults, it is not because he has 1 day, must not respect him, respect his privacy as a human!
-
Imagine, I do it with your wife, it's her birthday "Everybody's Birthday Caro, 80kg!"
-
There are better! There are those that make you think ... that
-
This is the baby himself wrote the text message ...
-
"My name is Ryan, I was born this morning, my parents are fine!" Ryan told your father that he stop to make fun of me, please!
-
Children, they are so much more intelligent than that! I see it every day!
-
The other day I was with my son, we were walking, I saw, with the questions he asked me, that children, even at 9 years old, 10 years old
-
They are very clever!
-
I see a girl pass, pretty enough, I see, I do this pivoting male ...
-
Eh? ... No ... All the guys in couple, they say "no, not at all ..."
-
In this respect, guys, when you do that, women see it all the time, I tell you!
-
Stop these stuff of bad actors, like
-
"Alala ... where did I put my keys?"
-
Stop! They have a sixth, seventh sense, she may be the head in the bag, in the trunk, she rises "What are you doing?" That's it!
-
The only thing is, she does not talk about right now, this is something they have, it's like that
-
They saw, but they assimilate, they keep it, it is a cartridge!
-
They keep, they put it there! You do not know when she will use!
-
One day! It could be five years later, you do not know why, out of nowhere! "Do you remember? Aha Pah!"
-
This is hard!
-
And then I ... How are you, Inès?
-
I'm very very good!!
-
And then the people who are watching TV "What did he say to Inès?"
-
In fact, in the pub, I address the viewer, while the pub, Inès, a child, is mounted on the stage
932
01:29:57,001 --> 01:30,0,000
And now, I say "How are you, Inès" For those who wonder what happened, that's what happened!
933
01:30:,001 --> 01:30:2,000
Not? Is that true?
-
And then there was Madonna, there was ...
-
Barry White ... Finally, full of people who were ...
-
Yes, too!
-
in any case, I really think that children are much more intelligent than that!
-
I see it with the questions he asks me every day ...
-
It's so existential questions!
-
The other day he told me, "Dad, do you, one day you will become a grandpa?"
-
It's cute!
-
Oh no, I was not thinking that! I thought, there really is stupid, he didn't understand...
-
I told him, "But, my son, it is I who will be your dad, and you're the father of your children! So in isosceles way, I would be the grandfather of your children!"
-
"Oh yeah! Ok you can do both! Double cheese!
-
And then he asked me another question, he said "Dad, will ...
-
I said "Yes!" He told me "Oh no!" I said "What?" he said "Well who will be my daddy?"
-
"I..." speaking of him "be a grandpa?" I said yes
-
He told me "And when I, I'll be a grandpa ... you, what do you will be?"
-
"I ... will be on messaging ..."
-
What do you want say him...
-
No, I told him, I told him also "I think ... I think when... when you'll be a grandpa it will be the moment where you can tell your friends and family ..."
-
"Dad is at the top ..."
-
Then after, he asked me a bunch of questions unbelievable! They say crazy things, kids!
-
The other day, this is his great-grandfather who took care of him!
-
His great-grandfather was an old man!
-
Trembling a little, the poor ...
-
He was trying to zap, watching TV like that, there he was, watching TV, he would zap
-
And my son said, "Look! Grandpa, he plays a Wii!"
-
He pained me!
-
He asked me a bunch of questions for which ... he does not want to sleep! Children, they do not sleep, that's how!
-
And they find excuses for why they do not want to sleep!
-
The great excuse famous "Dad, I'm hungry!"
-
He just eat couscous 20 minutes ago!
-
"Dad, I'm thirsty!" "It's normal, you ate couscous!"
-
"Dad, hold my hand! "
-
"Dad, when I breathe, it hurts here!" "Do not breathe!"
-
"Dad, tell me a story!" "Dad, tell me how it was when I was little!"
-
And bah, when you were little ... uh ...
-
I woke up every night!
-
To take care of you ...
-
But it happened that I was cheating on me how many spoon of milk powder I put in your bottle!
-
I started again, I started again, I started again... And it was late at night!
-
And there was no milk powder, your mother, she was screaming!
-
I had to go to the pharmacy de Garde! At the Place of Clichy!
-
I do not know if you know this pharmacy and I also talk to people who are watching in front of their TV
-
In Paris, there is a pharmacy that is in the Place of Clichy ...
-
I can tell you... guys that are ... front of this pharmacy 4am they are not there for milk powder ...
-
Them, it is rather "Did you need something, my brother?"
-
Ah yes, powdered milk! "Wa! You're in a big delirium!" OK
-
The other day I saw a guy like that, I said, "But what are you doing here?"
-
He told me "With my cousin, we write songs for children, it is we, who composed the green mouse!"
-
Eh! Seriously!
-
I said "Really?" he said, "Yeah, we got a new stock, we are writing the blue goat!"
-
"Do you want I make you an extract?"
-
Yeah! It is expected!
-
A blue goat!
-
I catch it by the eyes!
-
A blue goat!
-
I am able, to put it in the thing, that makes ??the kebab!
-
Spins and spins and spins! Ah! It's hot!
-
Spins and spins and spins! Ketchup! Mayo!
-
Come on, you have to sleep now! "Nah, I do not want to sleep!" Yes, you have to sleep!
-
And then they tell you stuff, kids! It's not possible!
-
The other day he told me "Why do I have to sleep?"
-
I said, "Because it's like that! When dads come home from work, they are tired, they say:" Go to sleep, pajamas, brush teeth, pee ... go to bed! "
-
He started asking me full of questions, "Daddy, Why do you make people laugh ?"
-
Why do I make people laugh ?
-
Bah because I love it, it is good ... and it is also my trade ... this is my job!
-
"It's your job to make people laugh?"
-
Well yeah!
-
"And they laugh?"
-
"But why do they laugh of your work?"
-
But no, honey ...
-
"And Dad, do all humorists is their job to make people laugh? "
-
Yes!
-
Do all humorists are funny?
-
It depends, there are funny humorists, there are humorists less funny...
-
You're the best!
-
Oh, thank you!!
-
No, but I can give an example! He told me "give me examples!" But I can't give an example, here in public ...
-
But ... we take an example for analyze, OK okay, no, no,
-
For example, when you take someone like Elie ... Semoun, Ok?
-
No, wait!
-
Must be analyzed, it's someone trying to be funny ... uh
-
Trying to do a work! But hey, it's not changing one letter in a word, like "Thank you" "Thank kou"
-
you put a K instead of ... no!
-
Hello miss, what's your name?
-
Marilyn!
-
Good evening
-
Hello!
-
Alalalalala! Full of surprise!
-
But I surprised myself!
-
Waw! Elie Semoun! handsome, where do you come from?
-
Well, I come from a funeral, I was ... next to...
-
And it's funny, I walkI have always systematically, I have my microphone!
-
-Ah yeah, that's true!
-In life, like that, like that, you hear me well,
-
When I ask a baguette, at bakery "I want a baguette!" People hear me
-
And you see, I have a system, I'll explain! I have for 2 sec ... I have an ultra sound system
-
I went near the Palais des Sports, and when I hear speak about me, I hear "Elie Semoun"
-
It sounds, you see
-
-And then I heard, that's why I'm here!
-This is great! This is great!
-
-Listen, it makes me very pleasure that you're here!
-Me too, it makes me pleasure
-
I do not know if it'll make you pleasure what I'll tell you, we'll see!
-
I will ... Gad Elmaleh ... in French Guy Le malin ... ( Guy The malignant)
-
Let me ask you a question, I'll not to ask you 2, I'll not to ask you 3, I'll not to ask you 4!
-
Are you making fun of me?
-
No, not at all Elie! No, not at all! Please, no, please!
-
Oh, and you're glad to see the suitcase "Oh, my little suitcase!"
-
I was, at the instant ... before you appear, at this moment ...
-Yes, quite ...
-
I was gonna make you a tribute!
-
-Ah, okay, front of France regional, departmental
-Metropolitan!
-
Oh right! you made me a tribute!
-
Ah bah, at that time, my apologies! At that time, if you allows, I'll make you a tribute, me too!
-
But of course, Elie! But yes!
-
Can you hold my jacket?
-
Yes, of course!
-
Tribute to Gad Elmaleh!
-
Can I use your bottle?
-
Did you notice?
-
When you are, for example, in an airport!
-
There are planes taking off and there are others who land! There are those who taking off, there are those who land!
-
And .. for example ... when you arrived, you wait for your suitcase!
-
You think "Olala, but what it does, my suitcase?"
-
"It's been a while I'm waiting!"
-
"How are you? Did you have a good journey? There was not too cold in the hold? you have met a handbag! Oh this is good!
-
It's not at all that!! I don't bother you at this point
-
Tribute to Gad Elmaleh!
-
That's right, approximately, right?
-
So, it's not really that!
-
Me, Elie, it is more stand-up, you see!
-
The stand-up, with observations on the daily
-
-It's the American way!
-Uh ...
-
Yeah, in the Moroccan way...
-
Otherwise, I would say "Yeah hello, Kevina" (character of skit) "I send you a mail..., it's stupid! No, but you see!
-
Excuse me, your Kevina, she is 39 years old ...
-
-No, no, Kevina, it is not that
-What is it?
-
Kevina, it's "Yeah, hi, this is Kevina!"
-
A small movement of the body, as it
-
"Yeah, let me message on my blog, or on my myspace, otherwise I see you in 15 min"
-
-Thank you!
-Thank kou!
-
Improvisation at the Gad Elmaleh way!
-
No, but it, it's a trademark, Elie, you can't ...
-
-Well if you allows, I'm starting!
-The whole of France is watching you, through the cameras
-I know, I know
-
-You will start in something ...
-The whole of France will make the difference!
-
Oh that's funny, I have a friend also called Marilyn!
-
Jingle!
-
No, that's not it ...
-
And it doesn't run the jingle!
-
Because there is something, there is a way to do it, a way to run it!
-
Oh I'm not at all!
-
What is the function of jingle?
-
Then, the jingle, it's to punctuate something, it's to make dedications to the public, It's for ...
-
And, it's also, sometimes, for close, finish the intervention of an artist ...
-
How to say you ...
-
For example, when a friend came to see another friend and he must withdraw
-
-You can... launch ...
-because you don't stay, you?
-
-Ah, okay, I understood! I can retrieve my coat?
-Of course, Elie
-
In any case, Elie, I was very happy to see you tonight
-
Here!
1081
Thank you! Excuse me, I have nothing on me ...
-
OK, well, I'm going, so ... It's the system?
-
-It's the system ... I think I'll launch the jingle
-I kiss you
-
Elie Semoun!!
-
Goodbye, thank you! Thank you, Gad! Thank you!
-
If we can help ...
-
I heard of a help, so that's why I come back, right?
-
No, I said "If we can help" it's not ...
-
Yes, yes but I'm here, I see!
-
Elie Semoun!
-
Goodbye!
-
What surprises tonight! we are very astonished!
-
Yes?
-
Yes, yes!
-
Yes?
-
They told me something I did not understand in the public but I endorse, you never know, it could be good!
-
Yeah!
-
Yeah!
-
No! No! no song, it's finished! No! No "Little Bird", it's finished!
-
But no! But ... no!
-
It can not have much surprise that comes from the other side! We applaud Michal, of course!
-
Thank you very much!
-
So .. I would like to sing you a lullaby I invented
-
But just before I want to talk about 2, 3 social struggles ... and humanitarian!
-
There is much talk of the third world!
-
I just want don't forget the other two-thirds
-
There is much talk of undocumented ...
-
I wish I had a thought for those who have too much documents ...
-
I sponsor an association of human collaboration with the wife of the President of the Republic
-
It's called "Operation Attachment"
-
We takes all the Attachments that you don't want and they are sent to people who never receive e-mail ...
-
Just before "Little Bird", I would sing this lullaby I wrote for my son one day, I would ...
-
Dedicate it to all your children
-
Those who are there, those who remained at home, those watching on TV that don't sleep
-
This lullaby is for you!
-
We were not making fun of you!
-
It costed a fortune, in additional, this thing!
-
We can also applaud the entire team of this show, who set up ...
-
Who worked hard!
-
A team who followed me in every city, in every country where we played
-
In every places where we were
-
The lights created by Laurent Lecomte!
-
Sound, Eric Gabler!
-
Plateau, Ali Boutaba!
-
There are many I can not list them all, there are truckloads ... All team MPM, all technicians are on the road with me for three years!
-
We can applaud them very very much!
-
I want to salute my producer Gilbert Coullier that started me on the road!
-
My manager, and dad, David Elmaleh!
-
Who manages and makes manage!
-
Judith Elmaleh who wrote the show with me and who staged it!
-
And my whole team
-
I would like to say that after three years of touring, finish with you tonight, it's a great, great, great happiness and it is quite unique, live it ... thoroughly!
-
his lullaby called "Go to sleep!"
-
Hmmm, sleep, little prince , go to sleep!
-
Sleep, it starts ... by closing your eyes!
-
Come on, run, fly, dance, jump, laugh!
-
But in your dreams!
-
Oooooh sleep, little prince, go to sleep
-
Tomorrow, I have a crazy day!
-
And I have not checked my email, not down the garbage!
-
Go to sleep!
-
Eh! Eh! Eh!
-
Oh! Oh! Oh!
-
Go to sleep!!
-
Eh! Eh! Eh!
-
Oh! Oh! Oh!
-
Go to sleep!
-
You are in bluetooth!
-
Now that you understood the principle, I'll do the verse, and you the chorus, okay?
-
I know there are some who say, "Wait, I do not understand, he wanna we sing, he's crazy!"
-
Already, I didn't know Gab Elamel , if he asks me to do the ninny..."
-
Fuck, little prince, you do not sleep yet!
-
And if it continues, I'll get the syrup!
-
You will take 4 spoons,
-
And you will leave it to your father!
-
Attention, it will be soon to you, I'd make you a snap!
-
You will take 4 spoons! You will leave it to your father!
-
And everybody!
-
Eh! Eh! Eh!
-
Oh! Oh! Oh!
-
Go to sleep!
-
It's good! You do not talk to Patrick Bruel! (singer)
-
Eh! Eh! Eh!
-
Oh! Oh! Oh!
-
Go to sleep!
-
And everybody!
-
Eh! Eh! Eh!
-
Oh! Oh! Oh!
-
Go to sleep!
-
Eh! Eh! Eh!
-
Oh! Oh! Oh!
-
Go to sleep!
-
I would like you light the theatre! I want to see everyone!
-
Eh! Eh! Eh!
-
Oh! Oh! Oh!
-
Go to sleep!
-
You're good tonight!
-
Eh! Eh! Eh!
-
Oh! Oh! Oh!
-
Go to sleep!
-
Faites du bruit pour cette Dernière, au Palais des Sports!
-
Eh! Eh! Eh!
-
Oh! Oh! Oh!
-
Go to sleep!
-
Eh! Eh! Eh!
-
Oh! Oh! Oh!
-
Go to sleep!
-
If it continues we will do the "Little Bird"!
-
Attention!
-
One last time!
-
Eh! Eh! Eh!
-
Oh! Oh! Oh!
-
Go to sleep!
-
Thank you!
-
I would like ... Are we hot for the "Little Bird"? I do not know ...
-
This is a song I wrote for a show that I played which was called "The normal life"
-
And I opened the show with this song and I said it was opening of myself
-
I gave me a self-boost in music ...
-
But I do not know if Iwill sing it tonight because ...
-
Yes!!!!
-
Yes, go, I think I'll sing it, this is important!
-
I think it will be one of the last time I'll sing it...
-
No!!!
-
OK
-
-Are we still here, at the Palais des Sports?
-Yes!
-
And you who are watching us on TV, I can tell you here, it's madness!
-
-Is it madness here tonight?
-Yes!
-
Little bird, if you don't have wings!
-
You can't fly!
-
You can't fly!!
-
No-no-no-no-no-no eeeeh!
-
Little bird, if you don't have wings!
-
You can walk! yé-yé-yé-yé-yé
-
You can walk! la-la-la-né-né!
-
Now, I'll need you!
-
I would like to see the public please!
-
Is it possible to turn on the theatre?!
-
I would like ... keep this image for last!
-
And say thank you!
-
No, it was better ...
-
Thank you!!
-
Bye!
-
See you soon!
-
Thank you!
-
It's not over, you're on TF1, it's a one-man show of Gad Elmaleh, an exceptional event with a Gad Elmaleh at his best shape!
-
It is not finished
-
In a moment, we'll get behind the scenes after the show, his first impressions
-
Gad front of 4000 people at the Palais des Sports in Paris, Gad front of millions of viewers
-
Singing, dancing ... who entertains
-
A one-man-show
-
2 hours on stage!
-
A public keyed up! This is the first time that it is retransmitted on TV, it was different for you?
-
It was only happiness, really, a lot of happiness!
-
-I must go see them, now!
-I think they wait you!
-
Thank you!
-
Thank you!
-
I told you that I will come back, when it will finished
-
Thank you very much!
-
I would like to say one thing before we leave ...
-
This is a very important evening for me
-
Because it is the Last of the show
-
Uh ... you nevertheless waited the Last for come ... You left me hanging around...
-
You all said "leaves, he organizes good, he takes its brands, we go to the Last, he will be hot"
-
I would like say thank you, I want, through the cameras that are in front of me, say to all the public, who, every nights, came to see me
-
Because it's important, very important, that's what we keep, in fact, it's the public.
-
Say... uh ... Say really ... when we make the salute a show, at the end,
-
We go there, we go back, we go there, but know that there, there is nothing special ...
-
Happiness is really here, and if it is here, it is thanks to you, to you, the public! Thank you!
-
See you soon!
-
We will have its first impressions
-
3 years of touring, Gad!
-
Do you realize? This was your night, congratulations! And thank you
-
For allowing us to see the show from the inside, to see you on stage to share with millions of viewers
-
How do you feel?
-
I feel ... I feel very moved by ... because I think of all the people I saw, that I met, who saw me on tour
-
This is what I said at the end, I think about the public, thanks to which we are here, I tell them thank you again
-
I think only them, tonight, I'll think of me from tomorrow
-
3 years of your life, tomorrow morning, what will you do?
-
Tomorrow morning I ...
-
Wow, I don't know!
-
Upon awakening, the first thing you will do!
-
The first thing I ... I'll call my producer and say, "There is no show tonight?"
-
-I will maybe call you ...
-Call me, we'll talk!
-
OK
-
Thank you sincere! What can we wish you?
-
Uh ...the resting ! To be free to make the choices I want, write and invent! freely
-
Thank you and congratulations from the whole team, everyone is here, we are proud of you, and from viewers too!
-
Thank you, thank you all! See you soon, it was an event tonight with Gad Elmaleh!