F.R.I.E.N.D.S - Ross and Chandler Stay at a Hotel (Captioned)

"Hi, Chandler Bing, I have a reservation."

"Well, welcome to the Chestnut Inn Mr. Bing"

"So where are you joining us from?"

"New York."

"The Big Apple!"

(Audience: Laughter)

"I'm sorry. He's a little bit wound up. We had to stop at every maple candy stand on the way here."

"I ate all my gifts for everybody!"

"I'm sorry Mr. Bing. There's no record of your reservation in the computer."

"Well that's impossible. Can you check again please?"

"Check again please!"

"I'm sorry. It's not here."

"It's not there."

"Well let me get this straight. I call yesterday to try to cancel my reservation and was told it's not refundable."

"Then we drove six hours all the way up here and now you're telling me we don't have a reservation?"

"I don't know what to say."

"She doesn't know what to say."

(Audience: Laughter)

"Just give us the cheapest room you have."

"Unfortunately the only thing we have available is our deluxe suite. The rate is six hundred dollars."

"That's insane!"

"It's totally insane. Dude, let's drive home. We'll hit all the maple candy stores on the way back."

"... and if, if they're closed, then maybe we'll tap a tree and make some ourselves!"

"Does that room have a closet I can lock him in?"

"We'll take it."

"Great."

"They are totally ripping us off!"

"Dude don't worry about it. I know how we can make your money back."

"This is a nice hotel, ya know? There are plenty of amenities. We just load up on those!"

"Like those apples. Instead of taking one... Um, I take six!"

"Great. At a hundred dollars an apple - We're there!"

"Come on, you.. you get the idea.. ya know? We'll make our money back in no time."

"Dude, you're shaking!"

"I think it's the sugar. Can you hold the apple?"

"Hi. This is Ross Geller in suite 206. I seem to have forgotten a couple of things. Can you have some complimentary toiletries sent up to my room?"

"Thank you."

"Okay. Um, toothbrush, toothpaste, razor, mouthwash, deodorant, dental floss, band aids, shaving cream, after shave..."

"...and I feel like I'm forgetting something. Um, is there anything else you have that I haven't asked for already?"

"Yeah. Go ahead. Send up some tampons."

"What did you get?"

"USA Today."

"Nice, put it with the others."

"And I also got two more apples!"

"We're four short of a bushel!"

"I feel so alive! I love being in the country!"

"And I got these great salt and pepper shakers from the restaurant."

"Oh, that's not cool."

"Dude, none of this is cool."

"No Chandler. You have to find the line between stealing and taking what the hotel owes you."

"For example, A hair dryer? No no no. But Shampoos and conditioners? Yes yes yes!

"Now the salt shaker is off limits.. but the salt..."

"I wish I'd thought this through.."

"I think I get what you mean now.."

"Like the lamp is the hotels... but the bulbs..."

"Oh. You already got that."

"Not my first time in a hotel, my friend."

"Okay, how about this?"

"No, no, no. You can't take the remote control."

"Yes. But, the batteries..."

(Hits remote)

(Ross claps)

"Thank you, thank you very much."

"Oh oh! Let's celebrate with some maple candy!"

"No!"

"At least tell me where you hid it."

"Here's your copy of the bill. We hope you enjoyed your stay."

"Oh we did, and you still have all your lamps."

"I didn't factor in the room tax."

"Oh dude, don't worry about it."

"I found an unattended maids cart. We're way ahead of the game."

"Oh my god."

"What?"

"There's something new in the bowl."

"Look, we have enough. Just walk away."

"But.. but I want, I want the pine cones!"

"There's a forest right outside."

"It's not the same."

"Okay, go quick..."

"Caw, Caw..."

(Chandler makes bird noises)

(Audience: Laughs)

"Thank you for a delightful stay."

"Look! My maple candy!!"

"I got you something from Vermont."

"Besides tampons and salt?"

"Aww.. Oh my god. Maple candy, that's so sweet of you."

"That's weird, It's empty."

(Very fast rate of speech) "Hi you guys! What's going on? You, you guys wanna hang out?"

"Do, do you guys hear a buzzing?"