OneTaste Webinars - Stroker Stories by Eli, Marcus, & Hamza

OneTaste Webinars - Stroker Stories by Eli Block, Marcus Ratnathicam and Hamza Tayeb

- [Eli] Alright,
welcome everybody

to the next OneTaste webinar.

My name is Eli Block.

With me here is
Marcus Ratnathicam

and Hamza Tayeb is in New York.

I am the
co-president of OneTaste,

along with my wife, Maya.

I'm also the
men's program director

and lead teacher here at
the OneTaste men's program,

coming up the end of October.

If this is your first
time hearing about OneTaste,

Orgasmic Meditation,
we thank you for joining us,

and welcome to this incredible
practice and community,

and we invite you to
check out our website

at www.OneTaste.us,

where you can learn
all about the practice

of Orgasmic Meditation,
as well as

going to our
YouTube channel, which is

youtube.com/OneTaste.

This webinar
provides an easy and free way

for those interested in
the practice and lifestyle

of Orgasmic Meditation,
or OM life, as we call it,

to learn and participate.

So we are just so
happy to have you guys here.

This is just a
pleasure and a privilege

to be able to
share what we've gotten

over the,
between the three of us

we've got a combined, almost
18 years I guess in practice.

It's a lot.

And so we'll be
talking a bit today

about some of the things
that we've learned, right?

'Cause if you're new
to Orgasmic Meditation,

there's two parts of it, right?

There's the
stroker and the strokee.

Orgasmic Meditation is a
15-minute partnered practice

where one partner,
typically a woman,

always a woman, the woman's
the one with the clitoris,

we like to be gender
(laughter) gender neutral

here at OneTaste, 'cause
some people with clitorises

don't call themselves
women and that is all right.

But the person with
the clitoris lies down,

undresses from the waist down,

and butterflies their legs.

A stroker, which
can often be a man,

but we'll also
have women strokers

on the show as well
too in the coming weeks,

applies a
dime-sized amount of lube

to the left index finger,
set the timer for 15 minutes

after doing a few other steps,

and for the next 15 minutes,
the meditation is both of them

putting their attention
on the point of connection

between clitoris and finger.

And it's a very simple
practice with amazing results.

And so we're three guys
who have been doing this

for several years.

I, myself, started
the practice about

seven and a half years ago.

I was working for
Apple in northern California,

had grown up in
Zen Buddhism, so had

a background in meditation,
and a friend of mine

who was a boss of mine at Apple,

who, let me tell you guys,
if you've heard me

tell this story before
I apologize,

but I'll say it again,

this guy would like
get up in the morning,

every morning, and pick
up a can of woman repellent

and spray himself down with it.

(laughter)

Every day.

And it was obvious,
'cause he would come to work

and it was a disaster.

He'd try to talk to
women, it was awful.

And then one day something
about his life changed,

and I watched a man,
if you've ever seen

in the history
classrooms they have

the very early,
like the ape, right,

which then turns into
slightly more upright-standing,

homo sapien.

I literally watched a
man go through that process

over the course
of about a month.

And he started to love
himself and like himself

in a way that I just couldn't,
no one could ignore it,

but we didn't
know what he was doing.

And so he finally decided to
introduce me to this practice

and it blew my mind.

And so it started about
seven and half years ago,

I've been doing it ever since,

and it's just an honor
to be here with you guys.

Now I'll let the other
guys introduce themselves too.

- [Marcus] Hey guys,
my name's Marcus.

I'll do a real
quick version of my story.

I was thinking, I was like,
I wanna share something

different this time.

I think mine was,
I was dead set,

I think a lot of us
guys have this story

like I'm gonna take
on the world, you know,

I'm gonna knock the
world on its ear, you know,

and I'm gonna show how much
I can get from this world,

how much I can
achieve from this world,

and that was my rally
for a long time, you know?

And I did my
partying or whatever,

but you know,
in terms of like work

and with women,
it was like I wanted to

go out there and
get it, you know,

and it was amazing and
it led to this amazing life.

And there was a limit, you know?

There was a limit
to what I could get

from continually,
what I could have

from continually
trying to own the world,

and from that
same ambition that had

created all this
amazingness in my life,

continues to,
had its limitations.

And so eventually,
you know, my relationships

kind of fell flat
enough and, I'd say

my boredom with life
really got loud enough,

to where I started
to seek something new,

and that's where I found OM,
and Orgasmic Meditation,

and that's where, you
know, the whole new world

of having more in my life

opened, and I'll say
more about that in a later

section of the webinar.

- [Eli] Hamza?

- [Hamza] Yes,
yeah this is Hamza.

Well where do I start?

I mean I grew up
in northern California,

the son of an
electrical engineer from Libya

and a massage
therapist from Los Angeles.

And so I think I had
kind of like the analytical

and the intuitive
side of my upbringing

that were pretty
equally balanced.

But I like to tell this story

just to introduce myself about

basically before
I started this work

having the
personality of total cardboard.

Basically, I tell
this funny story

of being on a photo
shoot for a website, actually.

And one of my
best friends, Mike,

he was basically prompting me

to do all these different poses,

and emote and express in
all these different ways,

which I thought
I was really doing.

And then when I later
checked the photo archives

and I saw just 50
shots of all the same,

me making the same face.

(Eli laughs)

My meaning is that

there was a lot
more going on inside

than you could see
from my outward personality.

I think I started to develop

this feeling of being dismissed,

that if you really knew me

you would know
there was more to me,

but hardly anybody

and then out of that,
I discovered OM.

And by the way, that was not

what I told my
guidance counselor

I was gonna do when
I was in high school,

which was be an
Orgasmic Meditation instructor.

But, you know,
the rest is history,

and this practice
really has helped me

to come out of that
shell that I grew up in

in unimaginable ways.

And so really we
wanna let you guys know more

about this practice and
everything it's done for us.

So we're gonna do that
through telling some stories

on this webinar.

So I'll start,
actually, in that.

I was thinking
about what story to tell,

and, let's see,
where do I begin?

You know, we trade
notes all the time,

about what's feminine,

about relationships and desire,

and how to be a man in this

kind of like new
definition of masculinity

that we're developing
here at OneTaste.

And we run this
text message thread,

the three of us here,

and Marcus
would share this thing

that basically

most men
know about their own hunger,

and their own hunger for women,

and consuming women,

and basically looking to
get that hunger satiated,

and becoming the man who

could basically get a woman,

and then consume her.

You know, consume her sex,
consume her beauty,

all these sorts of things.

But hardly any
men will know about

what it's like to have a
woman's hunger fully extended

and consuming them.

And to us
that's the better game.

- Good story, Hamza!

(Eli laughs)

- [Hamza] The hunger game.

I have kind of a
personal experience with that.

So this past year, last
year, I was living in London

with my wife, Rachel,

who's also a senior
faculty here at OneTaste.

And, you know, there was
a kind of down period for us

in our marriage.

She was feeling
sort of down overall.

I was feeling down.

And out of that there was this
pattern that was developing

which was that she
was taking care of me.

And it happened
subtly sometimes.

We'd wake up in the
morning and she'd be, like,

how're you feeling?

She would be the first one
to ask me how I was feeling.

And then I would say,
"Oh, I'm feeling a little tired."

She would say why don't
you sleep a little bit more.

And she would set an alarm
for me, and stuff like that.

And at first I was, like,
ah, that's nice, how sweet.

It's warm in the bed and it's
cloudy and cold and London.

And that sort of
thing just kept developing

where more often than not
she was taking care of me.

And this funny
thing started to develop

which was that it
was like that was the way

that we would connect.

It was like our
relationship started to be based

more on me having these needs,

and then her being
the one to meet my needs.

Her being the one
to take care of me.

Her being the one to
find out what I wanted

and try to provide that.

And at first it
felt sort of good,

like, comfortable.

Oh, you know, how
she's being so caring.

And she's offering,

so it's like this generous
thing that she's offering.

And then we started to get
into some fights around it.

And she would
say this thing to me,

I feel like you're the
feminine in our relationship,

and I am the masculine.

Which is kind of
like a heavy thing to hear

from your wife. (laughs)

That definitely
challenged my sense of manhood.

I would just be
like what do you mean?

What does she mean by that?

We would sort of fight
about it and I would say

you know, la la la
la la, I don't know what

you're talking about.

Then finally I was
doing less of this and more

of actually listening.

I started to hear from
her that what it was that

was her definition of what
masculine and feminine were.

For her the feminine,
the primary thing was that

the feminine role
let's say in our relationship

was to be the one that
had desire, to be the one

whose desire we were meeting.

The masculine role
was to create that desire,

create the circumstances
where that desire

could be fulfilled.

So it's like desire and
then fulfillment of desire.

I started to kind of
understand it a little bit more.

Then this also
translated into our sex life

where it was very much
on, our sex life was on

my body's rhythm.

We would have sex when
I felt like having sex.

We would have sex for as
long as I wanted to have sex.

The sort of things that I
wanted to do became the focus

of our sex.

Once again it was like at
first I thought this is great.

I have this woman who,
she's hot, she's my wife.

She's crazy about me,
she wants to do everything

that I wanna do.

(group laughter)

It was like we would have
these experiences with our sex

that were super hot.

So I thought what's the problem?

What could
possibly be wrong with that?

But more and more we'd
have these conversations

and we would
have these arguments.

I started to connect
more and more dots.

I started to notice
something that let's say

I would wake up in the morning
and feel that kind of like,

and she would be
the first one here.

She's be up before me
saying how are you doing?

And I would start to feel

resentful of those moments.

Like you know almost
like there was a pattern,

there was an obligation
almost that I had to have

a problem that she could solve.
(chuckles)

Our relationship had
started to become about her,

her taking care of me.

Pretty soon it was like
this was just a pattern.

This was just like our ritual.

Finally we ended up
moving out of London

and I started to
just say you know what?

I stopped fighting
against this thing that she

was pointing out
which was that I had become

the feminine,
according to this definition.

I realized I didn't want
to do that and she didn't

want to do that.

But we had
fallen into a pattern,

pattern of conditioning.

We talk a lot about
that in our discourse.

Talk about these crossed wires.

We had had a crossed wire
meaning like I wasn't being

a person I wanted to be.

She wasn't being the
person she wanted to be.

There was a certain
amount of blame on either side

of the other person.

But ultimately we were
in a pattern that we didn't

know how to break.

Then something started
to happen which was that

I just had this hunger
for something more

than always doing it my way.

We would be in bed

and she would start to kind of

adapt herself towards
what I wanted or you know,

the impulse that I
would have and

I would start to say no.

I would actually
be like (audio skips).

Then sometimes she
would answer, sometimes not.

But just like very
slowly and gradually we started

to actually shift that thing.

Pretty soon I realized

that I had to
actually fight for it

in a certain way
because I wanted to be a man

who could put her at
rest meaning I was going

to be the stroker
and draw out her desire,

draw out her hunger instead
of just having her lay there

and me consume her.

Then I was going to have to
put an effort towards that

and not just be
inertia with a pattern.

Does that make sense?

A couple of times
it meant actually rejecting her.

'cause she would come towards me

to play out the
pattern like we always did,

and I would just say no.

And just little (audio skips)

it started to be that

we kind of like bent this
pattern the other way around

and I became more of the

person that was able
to draw out her desire

and her hunger.

And so now it's
more at the point where

the minute that thing starts to,

the minute it
starts to go the other way

where she is kind of
like drawing my desire out,

we can both sort of spot it
and it becomes more of a game.

Where it used to
be a serious thing

and a thing we would fight over,

now more and more
it becomes a game.

It's like oh, I see
what was happening there,

I go what did you want?

And then she'll turn really
red or something like that.

And I just want
to end with this,

there's something
about this subject

that can seem a little
abstract or (audio skips) too.

It's like what about my desire,

what about my desire as a man?

And whenever I get
stuck in that in my mind,

I just go back to
this thing that

a really simple example.

What is hotter?

A woman just laying there

and a man's hunger ravaging her,

or a man just laying there

and a woman's
hunger ravaging him?

Which one do I actually want?

It's more of a word
play than anything else.

It's like, for me to
actually get what I want,

which is her being
turned on in my presence,

it means putting the
focus on what she wants.

So that's my story.

- [Eli] Thanks, Hamza.
- [Marcus] Thanks, Hamza.

- [Eli] That was great.

And for you guys at home,

we're gonna take some questions
at the very end of this.

So if you're out there

and you're wanting
to ask some questions

about mastery in relationships

and men/women dynamics
and sexuality and orgasm,

get your questions
ready and you can send 'em in

and Keenan will make
sure that we get them

and we'll answer some
questions on this call.

Go for it.

- [Marcus] I have a
really fresh story.

This happened
just a few days ago.

And this is in the
theme of acquisition

and how do I get mine.

And this is a voice,
how do I get mine,

that's shown up for me.

In the beginning I was
very skeptical of OM.

I was very skeptical.

I was like, I had
my issues with sex,

I had my hangups with my body.

And it was like, me
stroke her genitals?

The math doesn't add up.

(laughs)

I need attention here.

Thankfully, I was
desperate enough to,

where my desperation outweighed

the veracity of that voice.

But that voice is
still kinda (laughs),

it still shows up.

And so this is a story,

I used to, I lived
abroad for a few years,

and there was a woman there

and she was my best friend,

and she was married to
this really amazing guy.

And we were great friends

and I was single

and out tackling the world.

This expatriate
with this great lifestyle

and it was like the
world was my oyster.

And she would
have friends come over

from time to time,

local friends who
lived in this country

or friends who
would fly in to visit her.

And every single time
she brought friends over,

I would try and sleep with them.

Every single time.

And in the beginning it
was kind of funny thing.

Sometimes I was successful,
sometimes I wasn't.

And this just
continued on for a long time.

And we never had a...

She would
sometimes complain about it,

but not in like a, you're
gonna have to stop this now.

It was more like,

like stop trying
to sleep with her.

She has a boyfriend, you know?

Or just like, no,
it doesn't feel right.

Like don't do that.
And I was like,

every time that she
would say that to me

I'd meet her with like,
what business is it of yours?

You're married.
Mind your own business.

This is me, I'm having fun.

She's a consensual adult.

She's making her own decisions,

and like, back off, you know?

And so it just, the pattern
repeated every single time.

This included

happening at her wedding,

and she had a friend
there who I just pursued.

This was years ago.

Just the other day,

I had been studying, the
Orgasmic Meditation lifestyle

and practicing OM
for over seven years

and this was
probably like 10 years ago

that this happened.

And truly I've been
a student of desire,

and a student of orgasm,
and student of fulfillment.

Having studied this,

how to be fulfilled,

I run into this voice of how
do I get mine all the time.

It started at the
beginning of the OM practice.

It shows up all the time with
women and flirting with women.

Whatever.

And still it took me
seven years to where,

for whatever reason, I was in
a yoga class and I was like,

"Oh my God."

I had this realization
with this woman

which was

I just
consistently tried to take.

Every single time
she had a friend over,

I would try and sleep with
her with no regard whatsoever

for my relationship
with my friend,

with no regard whatsoever
for how she felt about it,

with no regard whatsoever
for how the other people

in our peer group felt about it.

It was just this,

this hunger of mine was,

this particular
flavor of it was myopic,

and entitled,

and determined,

and righteous in its
pursuit of whatever it wanted.

And I thought, wow.

I just tried to take.

That's all I
did with this woman,

and she was so generous with me.

She was my best
friend, you know?

And I was living
in a foreign country,

and I was like, you know,

having a close friend like that.

Have you ever had
the experience of living

very far outside your
home culture is precious.

She never even said it
with that much frostiness.

If she did, I couldn't hear it.

And so I wrote this woman,
and she was gracious enough

to let me make this
amend, to name this thing

that I would do with her,

and make this
amend for my behavior.

And she said,

"You know, I
always felt that way,

"but I never knew how to say it,

"and it always felt weird to me.

"Thank you for saying that."

And it just floored me.

I was like wow.

I had no idea through two years

of being so close
with this woman who

I considered my best friend,

that she was so
bothered by this behavior.

And not only that,
what was I missing?

If she was so
bothered by this, rightfully,

imagine how much more
friendship was possible

if I hadn't
tried to take from her.

It's like if she
was this jewel box

and she had all these friends,

she had all these jewels,
and I wanted them.

Imagine if I didn't try and
take each individual jewel

every time it presented itself.

What wealth might have been.

What more wealth on top
of how gracious and generous

she was with me,
might have been available.

I totally lost the
opportunity to ever know that

because I was so
focused on just getting mine.

I think that
that's been my experience

over and over and over
and over again with women.

It's like there's
this part of me

that's so fixated on,

I just catch a whiff of some
food cooking in the kitchen

and I want to go
in there and eat it.

And it's like, through OM,

I've been shown undeniably.

My attention on
a woman, you know,

this is just my
attention on a woman,

brings me more than I
could have designed for myself.

And yet still,

this kind of like
self-will driven

hunt for how do I get mine

shows up in all
these perversive ways.

Through this work of

unpacking all of those voices

and cleaning up

my relationships of the past

and living that new way with
my relationships in the future,

right now.

It's like wow,

I get fed more
than that old voice

thought I was
supposed to get fed.

(laughing)

Not that way (laughing).

Something else had

to come into operation

for me to understand fulfillment

and what it actually meant.

So that's my first
story, for the week,

of this male conditioning,

that we all have, you know.

Every guy I met has,
and I still have,

and constantly (audio skips)
define more and more

what's true and how do I show up

as a better man in
the world than that?

In fact, the world
has a lot in store for me

if I stop trying
to take from it.

- [Eli] That is awesome,
thanks man.

That was great.

I'll go, so man

you know I relate
to what you guys

both talked about.

For me I had so many

insecurities as a teenager

like Marcus said had
been told his whole life

these are the tools
that you will use to conquer

the world, essentially.

Here's your education, you'll
use this to get a good job.

You're gonna be set up so that
you can make a lot of money.

Not that making a
lot of money is bad.

But like here's your
tools to do this, right?

Always had some idea of
I'll meet some great woman

and it will be kind
of a I'm still great

and she's so great
together kind of thing

and we'll join forces
in a certain way and be

the best couple on earth.

It was just this
thought in my head that it would

go something like that.

I remember my

sexual experiences in colleges.

I think a lot of guys,
we talked to a lot of men.

We teach, the three of us teach
the OneTaste Men's Course

which is essentially predicated
on the notion that mastery,

true mastery, is learning how
to meet nature on its terms.

So as you guys hear us
talk what you're listening to

is three guys who are really
trying to listen to what life,

women, and at a basic level.

And to practice Orgasmic
Meditation what a woman's pussy

is telling us as opposed to
what we're trying to tell it.

(laughing)

Right, and that paying
attention on that level

is actually a thing
which is going to tell us

what we need to know.

And that filling up,
emptying out all the love,

all of the attention
that we have which we have

an abundance of into
the world and into women

will ensure that
we're always taken care of.

It's actually not a
question which is contrary.

Like Marcus was
saying most of us are taught,

which is you have
to go out and get yours

before some other guy gets it.

That kind of competition.

But man I had a lot of that.

I remember having these

experiences in
college with women.

I remember afterwards I would
always sort of lie there

and I would always be
like I hope she says something

about how good it was.

You know, I hope once we're
done she says something like

ah, I really needed that.

Or like, that's
the best I've ever had.

Or all the things that a
guy really hopes to hear.

(Marcus laughs)

You know, just tell me,
just give me one.

How did you do that?

Oh my God,
it blew my mind, you know.

It was funny because
I got a few of those.

Every now and then there'd
be a woman and she'd be like

Uh, I've never had anything
like that before, you know?

And I would think
that was really hot.

Then more often than
not I would just not hear

from her again.
(group laughter)

She would say this thing,
I would feel a certain

amount of satisfaction,

a certain amount of
what I deemed fulfillment,

which was really approval.

I got a little hit of something
then it would usually fizzle

and kind of go away.

I think definitely part
of that was that I didn't

know how to
cultivate desire at all.

A woman would open her desire
to me and like Marcus said

I pretty much
knew how to consume it.

It was like a woman (audio
skips) and she was interested.

Then it was like okay,
the hunt was on.

I was gonna kind of suddenly
pursue her in a certain way

and we'd end up at
my place and whatever.

I was clear I didn't
want a relationship

and that was pretty
much it unless you wanted

to come back for
seconds of the same thing

without a whole lot else.

There wasn't any

mastery involved at all.

It was like plate of
food comes my way I eat it,

and then it
magically regenerates

and I have another bite.

And it magically
regenerates and I have some more

until either I get
bored with the food

or it gets bored with me, and
then we go our separate ways.

Right, that's
pretty much how it was.

Fast forward, one of
the things that you learn

in OneTaste our
basic courses, including

the men's program

is this is sort of
level one is that...

These are very
broad declarations,

broad patterns,

but I think if you look out
there it holds pretty true,

which is that a lot of
men are looking for approval

and a lot of women
are looking for attention.

And we're willing to trade these

things in various quantities,

both in the minuscule
and in bulk with each other.

You know, attention and approval

which leads,
I think, to a lot of

the kind of
relationship experiences

that a lot of us report

which is that it was
very hot at the beginning

and over time it got
less and less interesting.

Right, and what's next.

I gotta get out of this so

that I can start
something new and better

and hopefully it's
different this time.

And we talk to a lot of people

and that's an
overwhelming pattern.

And so, we know it's
gotta be more than that.

We know there's
gotta be more possible.

Which is why we
have the men's intensive

is cause we wanna give people.

We only have an hour to talk
to you guys in webinar today.

The men's weekend
is a whole weekend,

but the intensive is actually

where we wanna take
you guys to mastery.

And so this is a mastery story,

which is that I was
teaching the men's course.

Number one, the standard
men's course in Los Angeles

not this last weekend,
but the weekend before

and there's a
section of the class

where my wife or
a woman comes in.

A woman who's trained.

When I say trained,
what I mean by that,

is she's been doing the
practice for Orgasmic Meditation

for several years and
she has sovereignty over

what we would call her orgasm

which is like
she's not looking for me

to provide her
with anything, right.

She's not looking to me for
approval about her desires.

She's living at
all times, at least,

you might say
like from 51% desire

or more at any given moment.

And so she's a powerful, what
we call a turned on woman.

And so, we want a woman
who can answer the questions

of the guys in
the class in a way

that's really gonna be honest.

Right, where she's not looking
for their approval in anyway

and she can afford to be

incredibly generous
with the truth

with these guys and really help

ensure their success with women.

And so there I am,
sitting in front of this room,

with my wife and

basically, she is up there

and she's brilliant and she's
giving them the straight dope

about men and women dynamics

and I'm like oh I'm so
grateful cause she's saying

a lot of the things
that I said during the class

so I feel really
good about that, you know.

(group laughter)

It's always a plus, you know.

And there comes a point
where a guy raises his hand

and she calls on him and he says

how do you know
when a man really

has quality attention on you?

We talk about
attention and approval,

but like there is such a thing
as real quality attention,

not in a way thatâs trying
to get anything in return.

So he asked how do
you know when a guy

is really handling you well,

he's got real
quality attention on you?

And she said well,
I'll give you an example

of what it's
like, what happens.

This is like, if
I've been out all day long

and I've been
working and in meetings

and on the phone with people
and doing her daily routine,

and I'm also
doing my daily routine,

teaching and
talking on the phone to people

and we run a
business here at OneTaste,

and there's a lot to do.

And I've got enough
attention that she comes home,

she walks through the
front door of the house

and she can feel that
someone's run a bath, right?

And she says I can
walk in the front door

and he knows what
kind of day I've had.

He's had enough
attention on me to know

what my day's been like and
he has a bath ready for me.

Without being there to
kind of take credit for it.

Without

"Hey, I made you a bath.

"Who's awesome? Who's got ya?"

And she said that's
how I know when it's done

just from pure service
without trying to get anything

in return with that
amount of attention.

She says yhat's what has me
feeling like I can really relax.

That's one of the things,
that was an easy example.

And the guy thanked her and
we moved on with the class.

It was awesome,
it was a great class.

She got done and she left

and one of the things we talk
about in the men's course

is about women's
communication styles.

And we talk about how
women communicate, right?

Which is often times indirectly.

That's sort of the punch line
of it is that it's indirect.

You know with men it's like

"Marcus, can I have five
dollars, I'll pay you back."

- [Marcus] No.
- [Eli] Right? (laughs)

We were very direct
about that conversation.

It may look different
when someone's implying

a feminine style
of communication.

There's subtext
and metamessaging,

all of these things.

And truly in a
feminine-communicating world,

everything is a communication.

There is not a single thing

that is not a
communication in some form.

The other example
I like to use is

you're walking
through a mall or a store

with a woman and her
eye just very briefly goes

towards something in the store.

If you're not there to catch it,

she might never ask for it.

But if you catch it,
and you come back,

and you go to the store,

and you get the
thing whatever it is,

and you have it just
appear in your house for her,

you're a miracle worker.

You've got that much attention

on a woman's
desire to pluck it out of

the feeling world into a
reality, into manifestation.

That's how a woman goes,

"Well, this guy's got a
lot of attention on me."

Anyways, back to the classroom.

So she finishes
telling me or telling the room

that that's what she likes.

We do like five or
six more questions,

and then it's everyone applauds,

and she gets off the
stage and we're done.

I said to the room, I said,

"Did you guys catch the
feminine communication?"

(group laughter)

And they were like,

"Well, what are
you talking about?

"What do you mean?"

In the purposes of this story,

I've kind of
given it away already,

but there were lots of
things that she mentioned.

I looked pretty good,

I was looking pretty
good on stage with my woman.

So a guy asked, "How do you know

"you're being
well taken care of?"

And she goes, "Let me
tell you about my man,"

and I'm sitting
right next to her.

I'm real shiny in my head shirt,

like, "Yeah, that's right.

"That's what I do.

"That's how I handled her."

(group laughter)

The thing I explained to
them is that that was a test

is that she managed...

This is how fast
women are with communication

is that she managed to
simultaneously explain to them

what a feminine
communication was

and how she knows
she's being handled.

She was able to
explain that this was the way

that she knows
I have attention on her.

Then she managed to
slip a communication in

while giving me something
that would put my attention

on myself as opposed to her,
which was a compliment.

It's like she
set up a game for me

to get a bath
drawn for her that night.

That was actually her,
that was my wife,

having foreplay
and flirtation with me

in front of an
entire room of men.

(laughs)

And so, it was an
interesting conversation

we have with the
guys in the room.

Because they were like, "Wait,
wait, wait, wait, what!"

"Wait, she did what?"

The whole trip is,

"What, she wouldn't
just ask directly?"

(group laughter)
It's like, no.

The thing I wanted to
pull out of this story

which I thought
was especially cool

that I wanted to share
with you guys today is that

there is a way that a
regular test from a woman

will come in
terms of you noticing

whether your
attention is on yourself

or is it on her?

Another great example of
that is I talked to a guy

the other day who
said something like

he was in a room with a woman,

and they were on a date,

they were at a restaurant,

and things are
starting to heat up

a little bit between them.
It was feeling good,

it was feeling kind of turned on

like there was some
kind of magic happening.

He was like, "Wow!

"This woman's really hot.

"I don't usually
date women like this."

He's just getting real excited

about maybe what was
going to happen later

like making a move.

This is a guy that we trained.

He said the next thing that
she said out of her mouth,

because he's probably 5'3",

she says,

"My type is tall guys.

"I only date tall guys."

(chuckles)

So then he starts
to go into self-doubt.

(laughs)

He starts
thinking about himself.

He gets kind of angry at her,

and he gets kind of
like internally focused.

This is very subtle

where like if you're
sitting at a table with her...

He was sitting with a woman.

If I was sitting with him,

I probably
wouldn't be able to tell

that he wasn't
as present with me,

but all of a
sudden he's sitting there,

"Wait a minute,

"is she saying that she
doesn't wanna go home with me

"or am I not tall enough

"or what's wrong with me

"or should I have known
that she liked taller guys

"before I went on this date?"

Like all of the
the thoughts that start

running in your head
when someone knocks

on one of
your insecurities, you know.

And that's what happened, right?

It's that this lady just
like knock his insecurity

and the thing was he
lost his most valuable asset,

which was his attention.

All of a sudden, his attention
went from being out here

which was actually opening
something beautiful and hot

and turned on in this
experience with this woman.

All of sudden went from out
here (laughs) fell back on him.

You know?

And he stay with all of his
attention in his own head,

thinking about:
"What did I do wrong?"

Or "Does she like me?"
Or "Does she not like me?"

And you can always
know that if that happens,

whether it's a positive,

like what my wife did
for me in the class and said

"Oh you know my husband
does this, this, this and this",

you're gonna miss something.

Every time your
attention is on yourself...

If I sat there in that
class and preened in front of

all the guys and thanked her
for coming without realizing,

you know, without having
my constant attention on her

even when I'm teaching a class,

I will miss the
foreplay of that night.

And then when I get
home later, I'll wonder

"Oh why, you know, isn't there
heat? Why isn't there sex?

"Why isn't there
like a feeling of fun?"

Well and I'll
say and she'll say,

"Well I wanted to
have sex tonight".

I'll say "Why the
hell you didn't tell me

"you wanted to
have sex tonight?!"

And she can always
look back and she can say,

oh if she
decides to let me know,

"I told you when
you were teaching.

"I told you to run me the bath."

- [Marcus] Yeah, and for me
I struggled with this a lot.

If you're sitting there...

Like when I first heard
guys talking about this,

I was like "How do
you, you know like ..."

I didn't even get what
they were talking about and

you know, there's ...

If I look at me, you
know like with my story too,

I can relate to what
Eli is saying is,

there was,
I felt entitled to her.

I was like, you know there's
this part that gets angry like,

"Why didn't she just tell me?"
- [Eli] (laughs) Just tell me.

- [Marcus] That upsets you
so much, you know?

And it's like,
what the translation is,

"Why didn't you say it in my
language that that upset you?"

you know?

Which would be very clear,
instructional communication.

(Eli laughs)
You know?

"Marcus? I do not
like when you do that.

"You must stop."

And the truth is, for me,
I would have liked more

intensity than that to hear it.

I would have liked
a threat, you know,

in order for me to get it.

"Marcus, I don't like
it when you try and sleep

"with all my friends
every time they come.

"If you continue to do
that, I will discontinue

"being friends with you
and spending time with you."

That would have been at the
volume that I could really hear.

Now what that's doing is,
that's forcing her to use

a tremendous amount of
pressure and intensity in order

to communicate to me to
stop taking from her, right?

So not only is she
there being taken from,

but she has to
use that much pressure

to get me to stop, right?

That's a lot of
smarting up that from

where I was to be able to see
that, you know, and there's...

If you don't get
that or if you know,

you're kinda in
trouble with women.

Because they're
not gonna come out

and say it to you every time

and the evidence that you're
having these kinds of problems,

evidence you're gonna
see in your relationships

is a diminishing sex life.

You're gonna see

women who will say,

"I'm doing great".

You can feel or you can
intuit, you can sense that

there's something
else happening, right?

So you're gonna see
that kind of dissonance in

your relationships and

you're gonna see women who

you think are,
there's like chemistry with

or something like that,
that they're just like,

"No, I actually
wouldn't date you, you know?"

It's because they can sense
that you don't actually have

quality attention
or the last is,

you're gonna see girlfriends
who never seems to introduce

you to their girlfriends, right?

These are all markers that

you're with women who don't

trust you to do something other
than trying to take from it.

And if there's one
message of this work, it's like,

guys, you're asking
the wrong questions.

"How do I get more sex?
Why won't she sleep with me?"

"Why won't she come with me?"

These are all
the wrong questions.

(Eli laughs)

These are all
questions from the mindset of

"Why isn't she doing it for me?"

"Why am I not
getting what I want?"

And that's the very
mindset that's causing you

the problems in the
first place, you know?

And you can take that from me,
someone who has been working

with this conditioning
in me for years

and still see it, you know?

That is for sure the number
one offender of my ailments

and complaints
of my relationship,

is my orientation of

"Why isn't it happening my way?

"Why am I
not getting mine?" Right?

- [Eli] And that's I think
the thing with about us is

we approach relationships,

intimacy,
sexuality and communication

from the perspective
of practice, right?

And so we're always looking at,

like, Marcus is
in a regular inquiry,

around

how does that dynamic
show up in his relationships?

'Cause that's actually
how we get some freedom.

Hamza, do you have anything
you want to add to that?

- [Hamza] Yeah,

that's such an awesome story.

I was sitting here
relating it to my story as well,

about

in my case it would've been like

why didn't she just tell me

that she didn't really

wanna be doing things my way?

The thing she
was saying to me was

let's do it your way,

like, literally.

Man, there's just
so many layers to it,

there's so many layers to it.

And I think

one that Iâve started

to catch on to in
my marriage is that,

no, no, no that's
because it's like,

there's the conditioned way

and then there's this new,

brand new way,

that it's turned on,

and it's kind of scary.

It can be kind of
scary and unfamiliar.

It's like what would it be like,

as a man,
to have my attention

totally off of me trying to get

what I think I need and want,

and put it all the way on her.

That's scary.

That can be scary.

And then the
same is true for her,

what would it be like
to have a man's attention

so much on her

that it's like,

that not a single
beat is being missed?

It's sort of this thing where
we often say about true desire

that

true desire is

where you kind of
feel like you're gonna puke

and you really want it. (laughs)

It has both sides.

It has ambivalence around it

and so I think for her its,

she definitely had that

ambivalence and
it's sort of like

some part of her
would feel more comfortable

if she could just sort
of throw me off the trail

and then the other
part of her is saying,

"I really hope he gets it,
I really hope he picks up

"what I'm really putting out."

- [Eli] Truly.
That's beautifully said.

All right,

so we've got a
couple moments for questions

which is always fun.

I've got one from Brain M.

So, Brian writes,

"Can you explain the
frame at the end of the OM?"

This is actually a
very telling story, right,

so he says,

"Can you explain the
frame at the end of the OM?

"I have a hard time putting
the experience into words,

"and my wife seems
to expect more out me.

"It's too the point
where I feel a bit of pressure

"to perform each time,

"which is weird."
He assumes it's weird.

"Also, how many times a
week do most people OM?"

And so this, on the surface,

is a very
technical question. (laughs)

It's like how do
I do the frame and,

you know...

So here's how I'd
answer that question,

for sure, you guys;

so you said she seems
to expect more out of you.

That was a very telling
thing that you said there.

One thing I would say is like,

if you're starting,

I'm gonna make a
couple of assumptions, Brian,

and you can
always write me later,

[e-mail]

by the way,

[e-mail],
[e-mail]

and [e-mail],

if anybody wants to
write us or anything,

we'll answer all your emails.

But, so Brian,

I am gonna make a
couple of assumptions.

One, is that you guys are OMing,

you're already connected,

'cause if you guys
in order to revitalize

your connection in some way and

the beautiful
thing about a frame

is that it's there so
that people can experience,

they can relate

what it's like having
a connected experience.

And so often
times, in sexuality,

the only time people really
are sure they're connected

is if they have a
climax at the same time.

That's sort of like the holy
grail of sexual experiences

is like,

"Okay! Ready? Here we
go at the same time!

"Boom!"

And it's like a
big ol' climax, right?

That's like the
holy grail. And so,

for me when
I first started this,

one of the big
questions I always had was,

"Oh, are we connected now?
"How about now?

"Are we connected now?
Is this connection?

"When do we get connected?

"How will I know
if we're connected?"

And the frame is a really
vulnerable part of the practice

because

you're letting someone,

giving them a window into
what your experience was like.

And you're kind of hoping,

my guess is she's kind of hoping

that you guys are
gonna be able to relate

through those
experiences, right?

Through you
letting her into your world

and she letting
you into hers in a way

you guys maybe
haven't done in a long time.

In a way that you guys can hear

the thing that you
both created during the OM

in what you both said.

We has some connection.

It wasn't just her on her side
and you on your side, right?

And so, I would actually
say, I would actually say,

Less emphasis
on a technicality. Right?

Like, saying that you had
a warmth in your finger is

enough of a frame,
to get you by and,

you know, expand on that
with whatever's true for you,

in that moment.

But I would say, that to me
is a communication that says,

"I'm just wanting
more connection in general,

"and wanting more
shared connection,

"more colorizing,
in connection in general."

And again, this is one of
those things that we're gonna

go a lot more into,
in the men's intensive.

So, if there's any guys
out there who want this level

of mastery, to be
able to hear, right,

what a woman is saying, right,

and surface be like,
"I'm not doing it right!"

Which is basically a
clue to that question right?

How do I do it right
so that I please her?

It's not about that right?

- [Marcus] Yeah, I think
there's another element too,

which is, I finished my,

so I started my
first OM and my coach

said, "What's your goal?"

and I said I'm
gonna make her come.

(group laughter)

And they were like,
"Well Marcus, we're not sure."

You know, "But give it a shot."
You know, not like,

"That's not the goal,
you're just strokin'."

And then we
finished the OM, I felt,

I felt quite
a bit, but I didn't,

she didn't come, I knew
she didn't come, you know,

I knew that, she didn't come.

And, I have to admit, I have
these two competing voices,

on one hand, "Oh well,
that was kinda cool,

"that was an
intense experience."

And on the other
hand, I was like,

"She didn't come, is that okay,
did I do something wrong?"

And the, you know,

the most challenging thing I
see for us guys, with the set

of conditioning
that we operate by is,

admitting what we have,
admitting what we have,

admitting what we have, right?

There's an, there's like this
ungratifiable stickler to

our conditioning which is like,
"Well, she didn't come." Or,

"I didn't come."

Or there wasn't explosions,
"No, there wasn't explosions."

There was a
subtle radiation of heat,

in your fingertip, right?

That is where you
just admit what you have,

you admit that
everything you have right now is

is good enough, right?

And, then it doesn't
matter it you're like,

like me I was fairly,

I was relatively numb,
I would say, you know,

I was frozen, right,
and Brian it sounds like,

you might have that too,

where you don't
feel a lot, right?

But you do feel something,
you do feel something.

And that's the ferocity
that you wanna have with

your mind to say,
"I do feel something."

And then start with,
"I felt a beat in my chest,

"I felt my pulse in my arm,

"I felt warmth in my fingertip."

You start with
what I did have right?

And, it turns that
conditioning of like,

continually reaching,
continually not being enough,

right on it's head,

"This is enough right now,
this is what I felt right now."

"Did you feel that?"

"Okay, cool."
And you connect that way.

That's the number one thing
I hear with guys who say,

that they don't have a frame.

- [Eli] That's beautiful,
that's gorgeous.

So we are gonna wrap up folks,

another fantastic
webinar but let's see,

we wanna make sure, in
case you guys heard something

on this webinar,
'cause we're getting a lot of

questions here, you know,
a lot of questions,

which we will answer,
if you guys send a mail,

we will get them answered.

And, we'll maybe do
a whole webinar on the

actual OM practice, just
answering all of your questions,

on various levels,
we'd love to do that.

But in case you heard
something and you're like,

"Man, I wanna go deeper,
I heard something great,

"and I want more,
and I wanna make sure,

"that I get a next step."

We wanna make sure that you
have a next step, as well.

So that you guys can continue
on this path to mastery,

that is really what we're about.

And so, you know, one
thing that we know is that,

going back to the "swipe
right" world of Tinder and the,

you know, the constant cat
and mouse game of the world of

dating and,
you know, all of the,

all of the pomp
that happens around that.

It can be fun when there's
something deeper, right?

There's something deeper
than the unanswered

Okay Cupid messages, right?

And the hundreds of dollars
spent on dinner, every week.

That don't lead to
anything fulfilling, we know

that there's more
because we've experienced it.

And so, there's also, in
order to have more, we know

that there's at least
three things, that you need.

You know you need experts,

the three of us
here today, experts.

We needed OneTaste
founder, Nicole Daedone,

and the rest of
the OneTaste staff

over again, the last
several years to train us right,

to really work with us,
you need experts.

You need other people who are
going through the same thing.

That's why we do
this in community right,

Orgasmic Meditation
is a worldwide community.

And then, also you need a
place to practice, you know

you actually need a container.

To practice Orgasmic Meditation,
it is a 15 minute practice

with boundaries. Boundaries
are incredibly important,

in order to be able to
feel like you can let go.

So, what we're gonna suggest is,

if you're interested
in crafting an experience,

if you're not
quite sure what to do,

you can text the
number and we'll post this,

we'll send this
out in email later,

but get ready to
write something down,

I'll say it three times.

Text the number,

area code 510

295 5556,

again, text the number

area code 510 295

5556 and say,

"I'm ready for a next step."

If that's you, if you're
sitting out there and your like,

"Hey, I want a next step,
I want to start this journey,

"I want to get
this thing moving."

Text, "I'm ready
for a next step,"

to 510 295

5556.

And if you're a man
who's like, "I'm ready for

"the whole enchilada,
bring it on."

Myself, Marcus and
Hamza, as well as other senior

teachers and exalted teachers
from around the world are

gonna be teaching the
men's intensive, coming up here

in late October,
the 26th to the 30th,

it's gonna be fantastic,

it's here in Los Angeles,
it takes place here,

in Beverley Hills and so,
if you're interested in that,

you can also send
us a text message,

at the exact same number.

Or, if you want to start
on this path and you want

the first building block, take
the OneTaste Men's Course.

It's a weekend, it's a Friday
night, a Saturday day and

a Sunday until
about 2 P.M, or so.

It's top in New York, London,
Austin, Texas, Los Angeles,

and is an entire weekend where
you learn the language of

the feminine from top to bottom.

It's like going to France,
in order to learn French.

And you'll work with one
of the three of us there and

we cannot wait to meet you
guys, and help you on your path.

So, stay tuned for next week,
with the next webinar topic.

We'll be
announcing that in the email.

It's a whopper, so
keep an eye on your email,

we're gonna have something
really good for you guys,

coming out soon and,

thanks for joining us.

It was a pleasure.

Take care.