Absolute Drift: TOO AMAZING FOR WORDS

Hello everybody my name is Markiplier and welcome to Absolute Drift.

Now I'm gonna get right into this game.

"Hello my child, you are here to become a drifting master."

Am I? Is that a zen way of being?

"Drifting is the art of sliding sideways. Let me give you some background to drifting."

"Drifting was created in Japan by a race car driver who had too much sake during lunchtime"

"So he couldn't drive in a straight line." Oh OK.

I get it now. Ok, I understand.

"Becoming a drifting master with require patience and determination."

"Next time we see each other, you will be a drifting master."

"NOW GO FORTH and hit walls. I mean drift."

Also, drink sake!

Ok, Ok, BYE. Have a good one. I'm gonna be here.

Do I go?

OK, alllrighty then.

"Next song?" Cool! Aw that's so cool.

Ok. Aww, there we go.

"Gently turn then counter-steer."

Yep. Oh shit. (Chuckles) Well, I'm not off to a good start.

Methinks someone made this car to be quite drifty. And also paint a lot of lines.

"Smash blocks"? Do I have to? I guess.

Oh, OK. Oh that's so cool.

It's so pretty, it reminds me of Mirror's Edge but from a top down

and not Mirror's Edge in any way.

Wow, this car is waaay too slidy for it's own good.

I..I'm not the one whose doing this, am I? Am I not?

(Dinging sound) Bong Bong. Ok, I did it! Ow, my face.

Let me go over. "Clipping point." I don't know what that...

"Drift closer to poles."

(Ding)

Ok, whelp. "Handbreak to close the poles."

(Ding) Oh I wasn't using the handbreak. Oh. Whoops.

OK, didn't mean to - OK. Now one sec.

Yeah, yeah. That's how, that's how I do baby.

Ok. Wow, this is so cool. I'm actually not able to talk at all

because I'm just trying to, I'm just trying to do this correctly. Woooah

Wow, this is so weird.

I'm usually not good at driving games and this is no exception.

I have no idea what I'm doing.

(Ding) There we go. Ok, wow. Wowwity wow wow wow.

I can't say anything except for wow. This is so weird.

It's so cool too. Hang on, one second.

That would be, that would be better. Sorry, hang on.

One second, one second.

Hello?

Hello? Hello? Hello?

Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello?

Hello? Hello? Hello?

Hello? Hello?

Ok, that's a little better. Ok, that's a little better.

Sorry, my volume was way off on my controls so it was hard to hear the music and myself at the same time.

OK, anyway, "Drift Track"? I'm not ready for that!

Oh god! I barely made it in that box!

Uh, where am I now? Was I not supposed to go in ah-OK.

(Chuckles) I was supposed to then. Ok, cool.

This isn't gonna be like Action Ink, I'm not gonna be able to- "Counter steer more if you're spinning out." Ok.

Cool? I don't know, I don't know what you want from me.

Heh. There we go. Oh yeah. Oh yeah! Eh! Too much, too much!

(babbles)

Ooooh! Oh who is the master? Not me of course.

(beeping) Oh crap.

Well, there goes my combo.

Oh, this is so cool.

Aw it's so cool! Look at that!

That's so crazy!

Ah, this is, it's like driving toy cars but, you know, not.

(beeping) Aw, fudgesicles. Goddamit. Go the right ways. Stupid.

I know I was going the wrong direction. Shut up.

I know. Gosh MOM.

Well, there we go. That's it. That was a beauty. (beeping) That was a beauty. That was a beauty.

Ok, doing a little more.

Yeah. Ok, yeah, yeah. Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh! That's a beaut! Oh, that was a beaut! YEEES!

I don't know if that's good or bad, but I did it! It feels so good!

The music's cool too. Oh wow. "Lower 15%." Oh that wasn't good at all.

Ok, alright then. Oh man, I'm like, tickled to death.

It's so cool! I'm just gonna try it one more time, cause I think I can do

I think I can do better.

The trick is, I gotta, like, I, you have to accelerate through your drift

or else you'll, you know, you'll die.

But you also have to counter-AWWW! Crap.

Ok, you have to countersteer to try to counteract the forces of you going totally bonkers out of control.

Like, aaaah, I...I was countersteering as hard as I could.

Ah, no. My combo.

Shit, aw, piss and poop. Goddamn it.

Whelp sorry. My c-OOOH! Woah NOOO! OH NO!

I'm doing worst than I did the first time. Damnit.

Ok. Oh Shit! Ah, TITS! Oh crap, I'm doing so much worst.

Goddamn it! It's the orientation! The orientation is messing me up.

It's not my fault.

Ok, here we go. Yeah yeah yeah! Oh that was good.

That was a goody. That was a beaut. That was a beaut.

I still did worst than last time. Ok, I'll pick up all that I learned in the next vi-not video. In the next fucking course. (chuckles)

Wow. I'm having too much fun. This is really fun. This is really fun. Oh, this is really fun.

Ok, wait, what am I doing? What am I doing here? "Drift between containers"?

i don't know if I can.

I did it! Didn't I do it? Didn't I do that? I don't know what I did.

Ok, wheeelp.

Oh. "Jump over the plane." I wanna do that!

Hang on! I wanna do that! Goddamnit, I wanna do that!

Get out of my way! I wanna do that! Damnit! (Ding)

Fudging fudgesicles!

Piece of poop! Goddamnit!

Ok, hang on, wait. Hang on, wait. Hang on, wait.

Here we go. Here we go.

Here we go! Ooooh BOING YAAAAY!

Oh my god that's so cool. That's so cool.

Oh it's so cool. Aw, that's so cool.

Oh it's so cool. It's so cool. Oh it's so cool.

I got nothing else to say. It's so cool.

It's so cool. What is with me and like, driving games recently?

I love, I love, like, um, I love Rocket League to death. Aw man.

Goddamnit, I'm so bad at this but it's so cool.

I've got like a permanent smile stuck on my-GODDAMNIT! PIECE OF SHIT!

FUCK YOU, YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT. Goddamnit, I can't even come up with a creative insult.

Ah, you piece of poo. OK, I gotcha this time. I gotcha kobe(?)

Here we go. Go, go, go. For a second I went backwords. That doesn't make any sense.

Oh yeah, oh yeah, go, go, yeah yeah

Oooh. Just like that. Oh! Oh! Oh! It's so good!

Oh, I'm so on right now, except now I'm screwing up.

But I'm so on right nooow. Ooooh. Look at that!

Oh, look at that.

Shit, uh, don't look at that. That wasn't as good.

(Ding) Yeaah. Yeaah. Yeaaah.

(Ding)

Oh yeah, there we go. There we go.

I'm doing it! I'm doing it! I'm doing it ma!

Mom are you watching?! I'm doing it! Crap!

Damnit, just ruined it. Ok.

Ohhh, next song.

Come on, come on, come on, come on!

Come on, come on, come on, come on!

Come on! There we go. Oh so skilled!

Oh, that was less skilled. That was less so.

That was kinda skilled, for a little bit there, but

not as much anymore.

I'm not getting, like, long drifts.

Shiii-ah. I've gotta like, learn to trade off on the handbreak between the gas.

Shit, well, I hit that.

Mmmkay, can I go please?

Damnit god, I'm, oh man, I was doing so good in the beginning! Why does that always happen!?

I do so good, and then, flipfloppityflobba-GET OFF THE WALL!

Damnit, aah. I wish that I wasn't so bad at everything.

Aaaaah come on! OOOH COME ON! GODDAMNIT, DONT MAKE ME LOOK BAD!

Goddamnit

FUUUCK! Goddamnit. I'm so bad at it but it's so-

Aww that was it?! OH COME ON!

My first lap I did like, 70,000! Second I did 7.

I can do better. I can do better. I know I can do better. I know I can do better everybody!

Ok, here we go. Here we go. Here we go.

Yes, just like that-OOOH not like that! Goddamni, fudge, fuck a duck.

Just drift! Drift baby drift! Drift! Ok.

(beeping) Oh come on. Oh with your piss and your balls.

There we go, there we go. Now I'm getting it. Ok.

I'm using actually quite a bit less handbreak than I have, like, before.

I'm kind of, mainly just using, like, releasing the throttle.

Ok.

There we go.

Ok. Oooh Oooh Oooh Oooh! (beeping) AAAWW COME ON!

Son of a bitch.

There we go, oh that's, that's not pretty. That's, that was less pretty.

Goddamnit. I thought I was doing so much better than I was the last time

yet here I am, sucking it up. To the extreme.

(Strange grunting sounds)

AAAAAH!

Come on, get another combo. Get another combo! WOMBO COMBO!

WOMBO COMBO!

OOOOH! (Beeping) Oh that was a good one!

Oh but this is the last one!

I'm gonna do worst?! I did so much better!

GODDAMNIT!

FUCK!

UUUH! GOD!

POOP!

This game is awesome.

This game is absolutely awesome!

Ok, I'm going to end this here.

This game is flippin amazing!

I forget how much this cost

but it is amazing.

It's on steam right now.

Fudgesicles, god I'm so bad at it

but I wanna get better.

I wanna get better. That's the point.

I really wanna get better

Let's see, like, fu-I didn't mean to

I didn't push that, fu-screw you!

Get, get, get, get, Thank you.

Finish

With 0 points. I'm pretty sure

that's pretty common for-

Ok! So that was Absolute Drift!

Absolute Drift is absolutely awesome.

The musics cool, the gameplay is cool,

it's addictive, it's fun,

it's really awesome

like, I hate to have to reiterate this

but I'm not being payed to play this game

in any way, I'm not being, it's, I'm not sponsored by Absolute Drift

This game is purely fun.

Really cool, really stylish, really innovative.

Well, not even all that innovative, it's just

top down drifting, but it's really cool!

Really fun! I highly recommend this game.

Let me know what you think in the comments down below.

Thank you everybody so much for watching

and as always, I will see you, in the next video!

(Markiplier outro music) Bye Bye!