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Something We Want to Tell You!

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    [Phil] Coming up
    [beep]
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    [@dairiqueen] Do I wanna know what
    Dan's been doing?
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    P: I'm a gay dragon. [both laugh]
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    D: As we know, I have clearly taken a
    break from regular YouTube uploads.
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    P: I don't quack a penis.
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    P: This has been a project that we've
    been working on since.. 2017?
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    [Dan] I want balls in the bath.
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    D: (small cough sound)
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    (beep)
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    [Phil] This was broadcast live on Stereo
    who have sponsored Phil and Phriends!
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    Thanks guys. It's on the app store and
    Android for free
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    and you can listen back to any
    of my shows on there,
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    and at 9pm {UK} after this video
    goes up, I'll be hanging out on
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    there with Dan for an exclusive
    after party! [party popper]
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    So, you can click the link below to either
    join in or listen back.
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    [exciting music]
    P: He's here,
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    He's alive,
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    It's my very special guest.. It's Dan!
    [happy dramatic music]
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    D: Hi! I thought- you missed the here,
    queer, existential fear thing.
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    P: Aw! I should've gone with that!
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    D: You said I'm alive, as if that's
    a surprise.
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    P:It might be a surprise! Some people
    haven't seen your face, they might think
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    you're like half Dan, half robot
    [robot sound effect] like what happened?
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    D: Am I alive? P: I don't know.
    D: That's the real question.
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    Was I ever alive? Maybe this whole
    time I've always just been a figment
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    [Phil gasps] of Phil's imagination
    and this is actually quite a sad story.
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    P: Don't say that.
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    D: On that note, hi, it's a pleasure to
    be back, thanks for having me buddy.
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    P: Yeah and hey to everyone that's
    joining us on Stereo, welcome to the show!
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    It's good to (D: Welcome to the shizzle)
    see your little faces popping up,
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    lots of bubbles.
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    D: Not only are we saying hi to a camera
    right now, but we're saying hi to a phone.
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    P: We are. [dramatic sound effect] We've
    got a whole shenanigan happening.
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    D: Which is why we're wearing earbuds
    right now, we're not being rude.
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    P: This is what cool people do, they just
    wear an earbud at all times.
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    P: [pretending to talk into earbud]
    Check that. Copy.
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    P: Um, I just wanna give a content
    warning for Dan because you know,
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    his mouth is filled with soil.
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    D: How- okay. (P laughs)
    I think that's fair enough
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    I mean, if it's on YouTube, I'm guessing
    you'll censor this with quacks (P: Yeah) and stuff
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    but, I mean God knows what I'm gonna say.
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    P: Do you wanna just get your first swear
    out of the way, just so we're prepared?
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    [dramatic music]
    (Dan making straining sound)
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    Penis. (P: That's fine)
    Don't know why I like, squeezed
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    P: You're allowed to say penis, that's
    fine. I don't quack a penis.
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    D: Penis, [quack sound effect]
    [woof sound effect] What?
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    P: No!
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    [@heraceres] Hi, oh my god, we missed
    you so much.
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    P: They missed you.
    D: They're just talking about you.
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    P: No- (both laughing)
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    D: Like, who's- who's that rat sat
    right there.
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    P: I hope y'all had a nice festive seez.
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    (D: Mm.) We had an interesting one,
    I mean, it was-
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    D: You said "I hope y'all had a nice fes-"
    Okay firstly what is that phrase?
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    (P: I don't know!) Secondly, Phil,
    [deep voice] it's 2020. (P: Yeah.)
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    D: Ain't nobody having a nice
    [mumbling] anything.
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    P: I'm tryna spread some positivity!
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    D: Yeah this is the single vibe that we
    get at the end of the year.
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    - [Dan makes small cough sound]
    - P: Vibe
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    P: So, it was more of a Zoom-mas (D: Mm)
    but we did exchange some gifts.
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    D: We did. P: Yeah! I got Dan a new
    jumper, which he's wearing now,
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    not that I forced him to wear it, but-
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    D: No, Phil did not all force me to wear
    the sweater that he got me for Christmas.
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    P: (menacing) Wear the sweater.
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    It's a black and white sweater with bears
    (D: On brand) but there's a sneaky little
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    yellow bear in the corner.
    [meow sound effect]
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    I'm tryna get Dan to wear colour in 2021.
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    D: Are you? P: Yeah.
    D: (laughing) Good luck with that.
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    P: This is the first stage,
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    D: You haven't commented
    on my Stereo avatar.
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    P: It looks like you, I think-
    (D: Oh does it?) I think you got the
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    - P: curls there
    - D: Thanks I was going for that.
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    P: Although your hair, like what happened
    to your long flowing lockdown hair?
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    P: Where did it go?
    D: My- my medium length hair?
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    P: Yeah I was excited you were gonna
    go all the way!
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    D: Everyone was so sad about that, yeah.
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    I mean it's not cause I was- I was trying a
    different style, I couldn't get a haircut.
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    That- that was the thing. It got to that
    length where I really had to commit to it
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    for a bit longer to make it work (P: Yeah)
    and, it was physically upsetting having
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    this much hair touching my ears, I mean
    anyone that's had long hair and then cut
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    it all off will be like (sad laughing) my
    ears, they're finally free!
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    And then, that brief window, when the
    lockdown eased, a couple months ago,
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    I was like snip!
    P: Snip snip!
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    D: So here we are.
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    P: Well, now you're regretting it, cause
    now it's cold in London,
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    you could've had little muffs
    on your ears, made out of hair.
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    [fail sound effect]
    D: Less about the hairy muffs, Phil.
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    P: (indignant) Well you could! So-
    D: I told you, I warned everybody.
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    P: I got Danny his jumper (D: Yeah)
    Dan got me a whole box of-
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    D: Okay, right, so this is how well I
    know Phil. Appreciation for this, okay.
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    P: A whole box of retro sweets!
    [party popper and clapping sound effect]
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    which I'm so excited about. It looks like
    a rat has been living in here cause I've
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    literally just been sat by the TV, gnawing
    away at them.
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    D: When I opened this box, I did not
    believe that half of these were real.
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    because I have never heard of any of them,
    and Phil was like,
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    "Oh, it's whippy wobby dib dobbles! I
    remember those when I was a child up North!"
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    P: Shut up. but yeah, he was- said I was
    eating boomer sweets.
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    (D laughing) These are the fruit salads.
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    D: What the hell is a fruit salad?
    P: I don't know.
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    P: Look (D: Yeah?) you should embrace
    the culture of the past. (D: Okay.)
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    P: Also, I had some random memory of
    bathing with bath pearls, and I was going
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    on about it to Dan, and then Dan actually
    got me some bath pearls.
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    D: Cause I'm the kind of person that's
    listening to random ranting and then makes
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    a note saying "Hey in 7 and a half months
    I'll remember to buy Phil bath pearls
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    for Christmas. P: It's like a- it's like a
    mini bath bomb, and when all my friends
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    were getting like football stickers, I was
    like "Mum, can I have some bath pearls?"
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    It might've said something about me.
    D: That's valid man. (P laughs)
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    D: Ain't no shame about that in 2020.
    We are going forward saying (P: No)
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    get rid of those footballs, gimme the
    bath ballls, I want balls in the bath.
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    P: Then my brother and Cornelia got
    me a massive jar of Percy Pigs.
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    D: I hate this, if you d- what are
    Percy Pigs?
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    P: Percy Pog.
    D: For people that- [fail sound effect]
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    P (laughing): That was one of my
    draft tweets, I never said it though.
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    They are Percy pog. They are basically-
    D: Fu-udge. P: Sorry.
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    P: I thought I was gonna have my first quack
    (D: Awh) but you saved yourself.
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    D: Good to know I shouldn't save myself
    (P: Yeah) next time.
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    P: They're basically just pigs that are
    sweets and they taste like dreams.
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    P: Let's move on to our first topic
    of the day, which is going to be-
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    D: Wah-wah
    P: 2020! [kids cheering sound effect]
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    D: What was that about? P: I shouldn't
    really even say it like that, should I?
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    D: No you d- take that again?
    P: (serious) 2020. [fail sound effect]
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    [sad dramatic sound effect]
    D: (sad) 2020?
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    P: Yeah. D: (fake throw up sound) 20-
    (fake throw up sound) 20. [dramatic music]
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    P: I wanna know about your 2020 fails.
    D: It's been a terrible year (P: Yeah)
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    for everybody globally. Uh, well you
    spent about two months massaging
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    the Tesco deliveries with uh, hand
    sanitiser. (P laughs)
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    That's a vivid memory. That's funny
    in hindsight.
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    P: Hey, I mean, you have to- I was quite
    paranoid (D: You were) they were like
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    "wash everything!"
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    - D: Yeah, and you did.
    - P: I was washing my hands, yeah.
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    D: It took about two hours (P: I was literally)
    Phil was like (squirt sound) Mhm, yeah,
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    do you want a bit of aromatherapy? How's
    the tension on this, mm, tube of Pringles?
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    P: I think you stopped me when I tried to
    like, wash an apple with soap, and you
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    were like "Phil, that's too far."
    D: Yeah. P: Yeah. D: No, don't do that.
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    D: Wait, this reminds me of the- the thing
    that happened, do you remember in Manchester?
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    P: What? D: You got- no, you recognised
    the Tesco delivery.
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    P: What are you talking about? Dan, why-
    (laughs) why would you bring that up?
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    D: We don't need- we don't need to, uh
    (P: Oh my god) expand upon that.
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    P: Well we do cause everyone's now like
    what? Okay, so the Tesco came, right,
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    And then (laughs), the g- the guy
    deliv- D: Oh, go on then, Phil.
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    P: -the guy delivering it looked really
    familiar, okay, so I was like,
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    "I'm sure I know you from somewhere!"
    which wasn't me like, hitting on the
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    Tesco guy, I was just being like-
    D: This was like a cool looking young man
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    P: He was like an e- like an emo
    looking guy. (D: Yeah) I was like,
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    "I know you from somehwere." And he was
    like [deeper voice] "Ah, it's- it's (laughs)
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    "It's probably from the adult movies I'm in."
    [boing sound effect]
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    And I was like, "What no! I don't
    recognise you from that! I just-
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    you've got a familiar face. He, was like-
    gave me those eyes that's like
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    "Sure buddy I know where you've seen me."
    D: Places we've been, there. Okay, well,
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    if Phil said that, y'all can say anything.
    (P: Don't look at me) Have we got
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    somebody sending in a message?
    P: Okay, let's see.
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    D: Let's see if you can top that.
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    P: I don't think you can.
    D: Literally.
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    [@heidiesel] 2020 just happened to be the
    year that I actually had to start wearing
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    glasses. 2020 vision is not it for me.
    Both: Ohhh [airhorn sound effect]
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    D: Get out, get out, get- throw that phone
    across the room right now, I'm not
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    interested, how dare you? Although to be
    honest, if you've actually not been able
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    to see your whole life and then you have,
    that's quite a profound moment (P: Yeah)
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    and Phil shares your pain. (P: I do)
    Even if he uh- doesn't quite share your
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    diSTUNGINg sense of humour that we
    don't support.
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    P: Thankfully, I've levelled out now, so
    I'm not going full mole though (D: Yes)
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    maybe I will, there's still time.
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    D: I mean, it's been a problematic year
    for most people (P: Yep) I would say that,
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    you know, um, as introverts originally
    there was that novelty that was like,
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    (P: Ooo) "maybe I'm meant for this, it's
    kind of okay." I- that has gone. I'm no
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    longer like, "haha, xD, I never went
    outside anyway," I have never wanted
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    to go outside so much you have no idea.
    (P: Yeah) If I could go, to a park and see
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    a person I'd be like "LICK ME!
    (P laughs) CARRESS ME! (P: Lick me?)
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    I WANNA JUMP INTO A SEA OF PEOPLE!
    The introvert within me has died.
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    So, yeah, I've found the limit of
    that for sure.
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    P: Maybe a- you could just see a goose
    that could lick you rather than a human.
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    D: That- that might maybe make more sense.
    But yeah, I've missed people, I've missed
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    going outside, and that is so weird that,
    yeah, okay, well done 2020,
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    I guess you broke me.
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    P: That is quite weird, I've been quite
    sad cause I couldn't see my family, like, I-
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    D: How long has it been?
    P: It's been since my birthday last year
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    so almost a year since seeing
    my mum and dad in person, which,
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    if I think about too much I get quite
    emotional, so I won't go down that road,
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    but- D: It's been a year.
    P: It's been a challenge, and I have
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    little sads about it but then I just Zoom
    them or Face Time them or something.
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    D: I mean my whole mysterious-
    P: People have it worse. Both: Yeah
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    D: my mysterious plans for the year just
    got indefinitely delayed (P: Yeah) cause
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    it turns out you can't do certain things
    when more than one person can't
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    be together, so, yeah, it could've been
    worse for both of us but it wasn't ideal.
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    P: D'y'know these mysterious plans, it's
    so funny that I know what they are and
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    I'm so desperate to say something about it
    D: Ah, you just wanna- you wanna spoil it,
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    do you? P: I've got that feeling like-
    D: We'll get to that later!
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    D: Um, something that I've seen a lot of
    people complaining about is, uh, how I
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    don't have any clothes at the moment
    cause everything I've done on Instagram
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    (P: Mm) has been like one stripy t-shirt
    and one stripy jumper.
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    There is a reason for that. (P: Yeah)
    Okay. I'm not just being weird,
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    and, it may all be- it's the reason why
    all our furniture has been on shuffle
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    seemingly. P: What, what's it been doing?
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    Well, we're moving! [kids cheering]
    Surprise! (both laugh)
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    D: It's more exciting than that.
    P: It's not just that.
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    [drum roll] D: Life update, are you ready
    for this everybody?
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    We have bought a house!
    [happy dramatic music]
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    P: Dun dun dun!
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    D: It's official, not like the last
    time that we tried and then they
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    said that there was a dead body (P: Yeah)
    and then we got scared and then we didn't,
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    (P: Yeah) this time successfully.
    P: It's the real deal.
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    D: Boom. How's that?
    P: Yeah. House that? [ba dum tiss]
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    (P laughs) P: Um, so, this has been a
    project that we've been working on
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    since 2017. D: It is a new build,
    and that means that, other than the
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    outside, which we couldn't change, we
    have designed the entire thing from
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    the ground up. (P: Yeah) We really
    have every single thing.
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    P: We haven't had any spare time
    because every minute of spare time
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    has been working on the house,
    D: Uh, yeah, it turns out that's quite
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    a big job (P: Yeah) so it's been like
    a part time job that we've had for
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    about three years now, cause this was
    something that we decided in?
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    P: Before tour 2, or during tour 2.
    D: Yeah, we did it in 2017 because
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    we were told, and had genuinely planned
    (P: Yeah) to have to move into a new house
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    dangerously maybe in the middle of
    Interactive Introverts. (P: Yes)
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    Turns out, (P: It took longer.)
    missed that quite a bit.
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    P: So all of our stuff is in boxes and
    has been for the last four months or
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    something? D: We have- the Dan and Phil
    games room is a cubic, like, block of
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    boxes that is literally filled to the
    entire ceiling, (P: Yeah) and it's
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    leaked into every other room. (P: It has)
    We're basically living in a Harry Potter
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    cupboard right now, (P: We are)
    but that's fine.
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    P: It's really exciting, we've got
    enough room there to work and also live,
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    We've designed the floor plan-
    D: Which- which is important.
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    I don't think we'll be sharing like
    "Here's our house tour, welcome to our
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    front door, come on in!"
    D: Yeah I don't- P: Yeah
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    D: there's like the privacy angle (P: Yeah)
    but then there's also, I don't know,
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    house tours, you don't want to look like
    you're celebrating the materialism
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    too much. (P: No) cause it's not about
    saying "Hey, look at all our stuff,
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    isn't stuff great?" I see that it's not
    all like that, (P: Mhm) cause I like
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    watching house tours (P: Yeah)
    from, like, an interior design perspective
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    (P: Hmm) I wanna know what stuff do
    people have because it's a cute reflection
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    of their personality. P: But not like
    literally everything.
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    D: What big choice did you make about
    that yellow wall that you went for?
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    P: Now you're making me want to do
    a house tour!
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    D: Um, but either way we're not
    actually gonna be moved in for several
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    months, so (P: Yeah) don't expect that.
    But yeah, that is a big, exciting thing
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    for both of us.
    P: It's a big exciting thing.
  • 11:49 - 11:53
    We've got funny 2020 fails coming in,
    let's have a listen! D: Bonjour.
  • 11:53 - 11:58
    [@ari.jpg] I've uh, got super into D&D
    and it, uh, ruined my life, so.
  • 11:58 - 12:01
    (both laugh) D: So you actually started
    role playing to escape from reality,
  • 12:01 - 12:03
    - D: I respect that.
    - P: I mean, that sounds like the perfect
  • 12:03 - 12:07
    thing, just become an orc, live in a swamp.
    D: Were you the dungeon or the dragon?
  • 12:07 - 12:10
    P: Yeah. Or both.
    [silence]
  • 12:10 - 12:12
    p: That doesn't make sense. The
    dragon in the dungeon.
  • 12:12 - 12:15
    D: And some- somehow I'm scared about
    how we're gonna segway into something
  • 12:15 - 12:18
    dangerous sounding, so, uh, (P laughs)
    I mean we already dropped the
  • 12:18 - 12:21
    role playing word. P: Yeah, we tried
    to do Dungeons and Dragons once,
  • 12:21 - 12:25
    and I think I played for about 45 minutes
    and I kept ruining it cause my character
  • 12:25 - 12:30
    was so crazy. (D: Yes, yeah.) I was like,
    okay, I'm a gay dragon, I- (both laugh)
  • 12:30 - 12:34
    I breathe fire out of my wings, (D: Yes)
    and they're like you can't be a dragon,
  • 12:34 - 12:37
    I was like I don't- that's what I wanna be.
    (D: Yeah) They're like, "no Phil,
  • 12:37 - 12:42
    you can't do that." D: I'm the disowned
    gay elf prince from a kingdom that has
  • 12:42 - 12:47
    one metal arm and they're like "Why are
    making your character sound less successful?"
  • 12:47 - 12:49
    I went it's character building!
    (P laughs) P: Yeah.
  • 12:49 - 12:50
    D: It's good role playing
    (P: I like that we-) and then we
  • 12:50 - 12:52
    basically got kicked because we were
    taking the piss.
  • 12:52 - 12:55
    P: We weren't taking it seriously (D: Yep)
    and I couldn't commit to it.
  • 12:55 - 13:00
    [@willaisabully] So, in my 2020, I painted
    my room and I realised right after
  • 13:00 - 13:05
    I painted it, that I hate the colour
    that I painted it which is great. P: No!)
  • 13:05 - 13:07
    P: Now I'm just imagining like a weird
    shade of brown.
  • 13:07 - 13:10
    D: So you were painting it, you did one
    stripe and were like, "Yeah I like this decision."
  • 13:10 - 13:13
    You did several stripes and were like
    "Mhm, yeah, still good."
  • 13:13 - 13:17
    Only when you had completely done it
    were you like "It's gross." (both laugh)
  • 13:17 - 13:19
    P: It's too late now. D: I like that,
    yeah, oh well, I guess I just have to
  • 13:19 - 13:22
    live with the pain. I hope we haven't
    done that (P: Yeah) because um,
  • 13:22 - 13:26
    designing our place, we can't really
    take back the choices that we've made.
  • 13:26 - 13:29
    P: We've made some good choices, one
    wall is green, I like a green wall.
  • 13:29 - 13:32
    D: There is a green- are you leaking that
    there is a green feature wall in our house?
  • 13:32 - 13:34
    P: Oh- I've leaked! There is a green wall.
    Um, yeah.
  • 13:34 - 13:36
    D: There is a desk. P: There's a desk,
    [fail sound effect] that's not a,
  • 13:36 - 13:40
    that's not a surprise! Oo, a desk!
    D: I'm tryna be- I mean we're not that
  • 13:40 - 13:42
    extravagant Phil (P: No) I don't
    know what to tell people.
  • 13:42 - 13:46
    D: I will be very sad to say goodbye
    to Steve. P: Steven! And Scrag!
  • 13:46 - 13:50
    D: Because, during the weirdness that has
    been 2020, it's been quite good to form an
  • 13:50 - 13:53
    emotional bond with this animal.
    (P: Yeah) It has made me question,
  • 13:53 - 13:57
    do you think that pigeons, are smart
    enough to have emotional bonds?
  • 13:57 - 13:59
    P: I think they're smart enough.
    D: Don't wanna be that guy.
  • 13:59 - 14:03
    P: But also, whoever comes in next,
    they're just gonna be, like a bird lover,
  • 14:03 - 14:06
    y'know? So we can just be like,
    (D: Hopefully) "Hey, do you want-"
  • 14:06 - 14:10
    D: Do you mind feeding these diseased rat
    birds every single day? (P: They- they'll-)
  • 14:10 - 14:13
    Cause they're gonna peck at your window,
    because two weird freaks have been feeding
  • 14:13 - 14:16
    the diseased rat birds, (P: Yeah) every
    single day.
  • 14:16 - 14:18
    P: I'm sure they'll agree, I'm sure it
    will be fine.
  • 14:18 - 14:20
    [sad music] D: But looking at the little
    face through the window
  • 14:20 - 14:22
    - D: it was- it was that bonding.
    - P: Don't- don't remind me of Steve!
  • 14:22 - 14:24
    D: I will be said to miss them (P: Yeah)
    you know, these are the transitional
  • 14:24 - 14:27
    periods of life.
    P: Hey this is the time though,
  • 14:27 - 14:30
    if you're missing Steve, why not
    get yourself a dog?
  • 14:30 - 14:31
    [high woof sound effect]
    D: Oh you're just jumping in and
  • 14:31 - 14:34
    saying what every single person listening
    is thinking right now?
  • 14:34 - 14:38
    P: Get a dog! D: All right, Dan and Phil,
    life journey, you got a house, next up
  • 14:38 - 14:42
    dog, next up, you're gonna die of old
    age, then it's gonna be- you're gonna have
  • 14:42 - 14:45
    your granddad- I mean your grandson,
    and then your grandson's gonna move
  • 14:45 - 14:47
    to the city with his boyfriend and then
    we're gonna watch their life and
  • 14:47 - 14:50
    boom, it's the Sims.
    P: What th- you just confused me so much.
  • 14:50 - 14:53
    D: It's what people want, people want to
    see life move fast (P: Oh right)
  • 14:53 - 14:54
    when they look up to these
    public figures Phil.
  • 14:54 - 14:56
    P: Anyway, people are saying, get a dog
    D: (splutters)
  • 14:56 - 15:01
    P: I still don't know if we have the
    emotional responsibility to look after
  • 15:01 - 15:04
    a dog, we're trying with the house plants,
    they're thriving more than they are,
  • 15:04 - 15:07
    but it's such a huge responsibility
    and you've gotta take it seriously.
  • 15:07 - 15:10
    D: Responsibility? (P: Yeah) Okay, speak
    for yourself, for you it's responsibility
  • 15:10 - 15:12
    (P: It is) to manage the life (P: Yeah)
    for me it's the emotional investment
  • 15:12 - 15:14
    that scares me. (P: Oh yeah.)
  • 15:14 - 15:17
    D: I'm not going try and psychoanalyse
    myself too deeply (P: Okay) as a person.
  • 15:17 - 15:21
    When we got the fish, I had anxiety
    dreams about the fish for about a week.
  • 15:21 - 15:24
    (P: Yeah) Every single night, I had a
    nightmare that this fish had flopped
  • 15:24 - 15:27
    onto the floor and I woke up like
    (low scream, higher scream)
  • 15:27 - 15:29
    And this was a fish- people don't care
    about these fish like I'm- I'm gonna
  • 15:29 - 15:32
    put it in a shoe. (P: Yeah) I'd give- given
    this fish so much life.
  • 15:32 - 15:34
    I love this fish.
    P: Stop.
  • 15:34 - 15:38
    D: Did so much for it, and the idea
    of a dog, I don't know man.
  • 15:38 - 15:42
    P: I mean, (D: It scares me)
    that is a thing, but also, you know
  • 15:42 - 15:45
    D: You can't be afraid, (P: You can't)
    to live and love.
  • 15:45 - 15:48
    P: Yeah, I wanna love the little dog.
    D: You need to open yourself to the dog.
  • 15:48 - 15:51
    P: Yeah. D: For you, you have to remember
    to feed and walk the dog.
  • 15:51 - 15:54
    P: I do, I think I would. We almost
    had the opportunity to get a dog,
  • 15:54 - 15:59
    cause we were approached by a TV charity
    programme. D: This was weird.
  • 15:59 - 16:03
    P: Yeah, and it's a charity show where
    they let people adopt a dog on TV,
  • 16:03 - 16:07
    which hopefully lets more people
    adopt dogs, and we were so close to
  • 16:07 - 16:10
    considering it, but then we realised that
    our new place wouldn't be ready in time.
  • 16:10 - 16:12
    D: Yeah, we were like we cannot move
    (P: We cannot like-) move them into
  • 16:12 - 16:14
    a two foot room that is mostly filled
    with boxes.
  • 16:14 - 16:16
    P: No, and this room- this- this place
    is not allowed dogs in it anyway,
  • 16:16 - 16:20
    so we were like, sorry, we haven't moved
    yet we can't have the dog. (D: Yeah)
  • 16:20 - 16:24
    P: Um, but that could have been a thing.
    D: Who knows, maybe- maybe it can
  • 16:24 - 16:25
    in the future. P: Maybe, alas.
  • 16:25 - 16:28
    D: I mean, this place that we've been in,
    like, do you remember the Dan and Phil
  • 16:28 - 16:31
    London apartment? (P: Yeah) We loved
    that place! P: We did!
  • 16:31 - 16:34
    D: Until the gas leaks and the drills took
    over. (P laughs) Where we are now was
  • 16:34 - 16:38
    always supposed to be a temporary solution
    that never quite made sense, it's just that
  • 16:38 - 16:41
    the temporary solution ended up taking
    three and a half years so.
  • 16:41 - 16:42
    P: It's been a three and a half year long-
    D: C'est la vie. (that's life in French)
  • 16:42 - 16:45
    P: I've got used to it though, I'm quite
    happy here, to be honest (D: Yes)
  • 16:45 - 16:46
    I'm not too sad.
  • 16:46 - 16:47
    D: Box. P: Box, box box.
  • 16:47 - 16:48
    - D: This is a box
    - P: This is a box
  • 16:48 - 16:49
    - D: This is one of the moving boxes right here.
    - P: You're on a box.
  • 16:49 - 16:51
    P: Uh, we've got another message-
  • 16:51 - 16:55
    [spa music] D: You are on a box, POV, you
    are a box in Dan and Phil's lounge.
  • 16:55 - 16:58
    (P: Oh my god.) You are looking at Phil's
    crotch. (P: Stop) There is a microphone
  • 16:58 - 17:01
    balanced on your head.
    P: No one wants any of that.
  • 17:01 - 17:05
    P: So, we were talking about the Sims,
    Dan, [dramatic pause]
  • 17:05 - 17:07
    what about the gaming channel?
    D: Ye- P: What's goin' on?
  • 17:07 - 17:11
    What's happening? What about you?
    What's the tea? Who are you?
  • 17:11 - 17:13
    D (sassy): What about you, bitch?
    (P laughs) Why don't you tell us
  • 17:13 - 17:15
    what you're doing? (P: I wanna know,
    everyone wants to know!)
  • 17:15 - 17:18
    Oo mysterious Phil (P: Where- what's Dan-)
    we- we know you're doing a YouTube video
  • 17:18 - 17:20
    every two weeks, then what? (P: What's Dan-)
    What's your 10 year plan Phil?
  • 17:20 - 17:24
    P: I've got- D: What you doing in the New Year?
    P: I've got thoughts! (laughs)
  • 17:24 - 17:26
    D: Yeah, you have thoughts and things,
    tell them! People wanna know.
  • 17:26 - 17:30
    P: No. I think everyone's more wondering
    about you right now.
  • 17:30 - 17:37
    D: Uh, well as we know I have clearly
    taken a break from regular YouTube uploads,
  • 17:37 - 17:41
    (P: Yeah) um, not that I ever, arguably,
    had regular YouTube uploads. (P laughs)
  • 17:41 - 17:44
    I walked- walked right into that one,
    didn't we? P: But what- what's the tea now?
  • 17:44 - 17:48
    D: This was- whoa, don't rush me.
    P: Sorry. (laughs) D: This was an emotional
  • 17:48 - 17:52
    and spiritual, and personal growth
    journey (P: Yes) that I chose to be on.
  • 17:52 - 17:57
    (P: Mm) Cause, you know, the gay video,
    everything else, I really felt like, I hadn't
  • 17:57 - 18:04
    really had time to ask, "Who am I? What do
    I want? What am I doing? (P: Yeah) Why?"
  • 18:04 - 18:06
    D: And, I'm in that period.
  • 18:06 - 18:08
    P: You're still in the pause period,
    you're like-
  • 18:08 - 18:13
    D: Well I uh, there were supposed to be
    a couple of things (P: That [??] happen)
  • 18:13 - 18:14
    and then, 2020 happened.
    [drilling/rumbling sound effect]
  • 18:14 - 18:18
    Let's move on from 2020, shall we?
    That's 2020. P: Yeah. That'd be a
  • 18:18 - 18:23
    funny topic, like what hAs Dan been doing?
    Like if- D: You want to literally make
  • 18:23 - 18:27
    the Stereo question what has Dan been
    doing? P: Yeah, no in a funny way, like
  • 18:27 - 18:32
    you say your (D laughs a lot) your funniest
    guesses what Dan has been up to
  • 18:32 - 18:35
    (D: Excuse me?) P: during his break from
    YouTube.
  • 18:35 - 18:37
    D: Dan moved to a (P: Dan) mysterious
    ranch and has been milking goats
  • 18:37 - 18:40
    for an insidious master plan. That's gonna
    be the first one.
  • 18:40 - 18:42
    [happy tropical music]
  • 18:42 - 18:44
    D: Um- P: Okay, there we go.
  • 18:44 - 18:48
    D: Look, I know that people miss me.
    (P: Yes) And I appreciate that, and I
  • 18:48 - 18:52
    really value the fact that people support
    and they care about me (P: Yeah)
  • 18:52 - 18:54
    not just like a "How are you Dan, what
    are you up to," personally, (P: Mhm hm)
  • 18:54 - 18:57
    but that they express an interest
    in wanting more content from me.
  • 18:57 - 19:00
    That makes me feel happy. (P: Yeah)
    So I just wanna say, thank you to all
  • 19:00 - 19:05
    those people. (P: Awh) I know that I
    could probably post more on Instagram
  • 19:05 - 19:09
    and Twitter- Instagram this year, (P: Yeah)
    I mean, what has anybody done? It got to
  • 19:09 - 19:14
    that point where halfway through the year
    where I was like, I don't do anything or,
  • 19:14 - 19:16
    I mean not I ever saw anyone (P giggles)
    or did anything interesting,
  • 19:16 - 19:20
    but this year in particular (P: Yeah)
    I'm inside. So I just posted that um,
  • 19:20 - 19:23
    [sexy music] questionable- if you put
    that on the YouTube video, do you reckon-
  • 19:23 - 19:26
    P: That's gonna get me demonitised!
    (both laugh) D: Do you reckon it would?
  • 19:26 - 19:29
    P: It might do, it might pick up on it!
    It's a very sexy pose-
  • 19:29 - 19:33
    D: I had the wine glass in front of my
    nipple for the Instagram.
  • 19:33 - 19:34
    P: Oh my god- D: Free the boob!
  • 19:34 - 19:38
    P: I had to be the photographer for that,
    and we were tryna line this wine glass up
  • 19:38 - 19:41
    so hard. D: This was not- this was not a
    sexy moment. P: It was not! (laughs)
  • 19:41 - 19:45
    D: It was sweaty and physically uncomfortable,
    Phil was popping a squat for about an hour.
  • 19:45 - 19:48
    P: I was! D: But I think that was symbolic
    in a way (P: Yeah) cause that- that's
  • 19:48 - 19:51
    just me, it said everything about the year,
    it said everything about me as a person.
  • 19:51 - 19:52
    P: Yeah. D: What do you want?
  • 19:52 - 19:55
    P: Got some things "What has Dan been
    doing?" coming in on Stereo. D: I'm ready.
  • 19:55 - 19:56
    [@henna] Dan has been napping.
  • 19:56 - 19:59
    (D laughs) P: Dan's been napping.
    [party popper sound effect] D: I wish, oh my god!
  • 19:59 - 20:00
    P: Yeah, we've been deciding where every plug goes in our new room.
  • 20:00 - 20:04
    P: Yeah, we've been deciding where every
    plug goes in a new room.
  • 20:04 - 20:07
    D: As well as my other things, which you would-
    how would you describe my emotional state?
  • 20:07 - 20:11
    P: Uhh, busy is the emotional state, I've
    never seen- D: You can use some descriptors,
  • 20:11 - 20:14
    what does my face look like at any given
    moment?
  • 20:14 - 20:16
    P: Um, stressed but inspired.
  • 20:16 - 20:19
    - D: Thanks Phil, I'll take that, nice and vague.
    - P: That's how I'd say it.
  • 20:19 - 20:20
    P: Don't tempt me, I'm gonna
    say what it is.
  • 20:20 - 20:20
    D: What else?
  • 20:20 - 20:21
    [@phrikkenzazz.1] Hoarding
    toilet paper!
  • 20:21 - 20:25
    D: I- how dare you, (P: Oof) I have not
    been hoarding toilet paper, okay?
  • 20:25 - 20:27
    P: Yeah. D: In fact Phil's been hoarding
    toilet paper from me!
  • 20:27 - 20:32
    P: I have, I've been stealing from
    Dan's bathroom. It's like, I- (laughs)
  • 20:32 - 20:36
    D: He's laughing because the other day, I,
    uh, yeah (P: Yeah) I had no toilet roll.
  • 20:36 - 20:37
    P: He had no toilet roll, it was awkward.
  • 20:37 - 20:42
    P: Um, I'm like a one sheet- I'm tryna be
    a one sheet guy during this pandemic.
  • 20:42 - 20:45
    D: No one asked for this! (P: Not for-)
    It's like, oh, I've really missed Dan and
  • 20:45 - 20:47
    Phil doing videos together (P: Sorry)
    what will they talk about?
  • 20:47 - 20:49
    It's been (P: Toilet paper) utter filth.
    P: Phil-th.
  • 20:49 - 20:52
    D: We've all become total degenerates,
    I am sorry for dragging you down.
  • 20:52 - 20:54
    P: Yeah you've dragged everything down,
    shall we get another one?
  • 20:54 - 20:55
    [@mykind_ofpeople] Goat yoga.
  • 20:55 - 20:58
    D: Goat yoga, hey! Except I saw a video
    of someone getting peed on, so
  • 20:58 - 21:01
    I'm actually never gonna try that.
    P: Oof! That's kinda funny though.
  • 21:01 - 21:04
    P: Maybe the pee would be- D: Funny to
    watch, you think it'd be funny to be
  • 21:04 - 21:05
    peed on by a goat?
  • 21:05 - 21:12
    P: Hey, we tried to do yoga once and I
    found it quite relaxing, but also,
  • 21:12 - 21:16
    the yoga teacher started playing really
    sad movie soundtracks, so-
  • 21:16 - 21:19
    D: Oh my god! We were tryna do meditation
    at the end (P: Yeah) and then a bloody song
  • 21:19 - 21:23
    from the TV show "The Leftovers" came on,
    (P: Oh my god) and, it's one of those
  • 21:23 - 21:26
    TV shows that make you cry buckets.
    (P: Yeah) And, if any of you listen to
  • 21:26 - 21:29
    songs that make you super emotional
    (P: Yeah) something associated with a
  • 21:29 - 21:33
    TV show, and it just comes on during an
    ambient playlist, we were like [crying]
  • 21:33 - 21:36
    P: I was doing a downward dog and just
    fully crying onto the mat, and I was like
  • 21:36 - 21:37
    "Please just stop the music!"
  • 21:37 - 21:40
    D: I actually, in the middle of a yoga
    session had to say,
  • 21:40 - 21:42
    [art by @possumnest on tumblr!]
    "You need to turn the track
  • 21:42 - 21:45
    [art by @possumnest on tumblr!]
    to the next one, now! (P: So awkward.)
  • 21:45 - 21:46
    [art by @possumnest on tumblr!]
    and I won't explain why!
  • 21:46 - 21:48
    P: Yeah. D: But your hamstrings have been
    getting a nice little extension.
  • 21:48 - 21:52
    P: Yeah, anyway, Dan. D: Yep?
    P: So what's happening? What's the plan?
  • 21:52 - 21:56
    What's the plan Dan? D: Uh, well I mean
    with the gaming channel, (P: Yeah)
  • 21:56 - 21:59
    we loved the gaming channel.
    P: It was our baby.
  • 21:59 - 22:02
    D: Unlike dragging a camera around the
    house for me to film sketches pretending
  • 22:02 - 22:05
    to be my own therapist or something,
    (P: Yeah) the gaming channel was fun.
  • 22:05 - 22:07
    P: It was. D: I like playing video
    games with you. P: Thanks.
  • 22:07 - 22:11
    D: The only issue with my personal growth
    journey is it took quite a lot of time,
  • 22:11 - 22:15
    a Sims video was like (P: It was long) a 9
    hour adventure. (P:Yeah)
  • 22:15 - 22:19
    So, you know there was no space in my
    life to think about anything else (P: No)
  • 22:19 - 22:22
    and you wanted to think about other things.
    P: I did too. D: So, we did it for several
  • 22:22 - 22:25
    years and we were like, let's just take
    a pause (P: Mhm hm) to have some time to grow.
  • 22:25 - 22:29
    We haven't made some secret dramatic
    decision (P: No) about secretly never
  • 22:29 - 22:33
    coming back, I'm just taking time,
    maybe we'll return to it, (P: Yeah)
  • 22:33 - 22:37
    maybe we'll do streaming, Twitch stuff,
    maybe we'll just do other things like
  • 22:37 - 22:40
    this in the future. (P: Yeah)
    Hi! This is some-
  • 22:40 - 22:42
    - D: -nice joint content™ right now.
    - P: This is something new.
  • 22:42 - 22:44
    P: We didn't know how long the pause
    was going to be and we didn't
  • 22:44 - 22:48
    anticipate that, but at the moment it's
    still like, we dunno, we're just like, exploring-
  • 22:48 - 22:50
    D: I'm just feeling out life man.
    P: -what's going on.
  • 22:50 - 22:54
    D: But also, a funny thing about Dan and
    Phil Games is, a lot of people enjoyed
  • 22:54 - 22:58
    watching Dan and Phil, but didn't necessarily
    love video games, so they were like,
  • 22:58 - 23:02
    "Wow, I wish they did something else," so,
    that's a possibility.
  • 23:02 - 23:03
    - P: It could, yeah.
    - D: Who knows,
  • 23:03 - 23:06
    D: everything is up in the air, honestly.
    P: Yeah.
  • 23:06 - 23:07
    D: Dan's just vibin'.
    P: Yeah.
  • 23:07 - 23:11
    D: Let me- let me do my thing. See the
    next couple things that I do, and then
  • 23:11 - 23:13
    I'll go (inhales) and breathe.
  • 23:13 - 23:16
    P: But hey you're here on this and also
    on my YouTube channel, so that's like
  • 23:16 - 23:19
    a nice check in with Dan anyway.
    (D: Hi) He's here, look at this.
  • 23:19 - 23:21
    - D: I'm alive apparently.
    - P: He's here, he's alive.
  • 23:21 - 23:25
    D: (singing) Or is it all a figment of
    Phil's sad mind? (P laughs)
  • 23:25 - 23:29
    P: I've noticed that you've done a lot of
    photoshoots recently. D: Oh my god.
  • 23:29 - 23:31
    P: Like, a lot. D: Ugh!
  • 23:31 - 23:34
    P: Every time Dan's gone out, it's like,
    (D: I hate it!) "I've got a photoshoot."
  • 23:34 - 23:38
    D: I have to! Okay, well two things right,
    on, I- I'm doing a book, right, (P: Yep)
  • 23:38 - 23:40
    and you sign a contract, and you have
    to promote it. (P: Yeah)
  • 23:40 - 23:43
    so I have to do press, and I have to do
    all these photoshoots (P: Yeah)
  • 23:43 - 23:45
    and I don't have a say, and then all these
    people keep calling me.
  • 23:45 - 23:50
    P: But, talking about a 2020 (Dan sighs) fail, can
    we talk about the boot- the boot thing?
  • 23:50 - 23:54
    D: Why do you- P: It's so funny!
    D: Is this funny? P: It's funny to me.
  • 23:54 - 23:56
    D: It was traumatising for me.
    P: Okay, well Dan was doing
  • 23:56 - 23:59
    an Attitude shoot, which is the-
    D: Attitude, a gay magazine. P: -the gay magazine.
  • 23:59 - 24:02
    P: I was wondering if you were gonna get
    your ass out because I always associated
  • 24:02 - 24:05
    that with when I was like (D: Yeah) in
    the closet, I'd be like,
  • 24:05 - 24:07
    - P: "Oo, look at that."
    - D: The- these- these magazines
  • 24:07 - 24:09
    D: historically have been quite, uh, sexy.
    P: It was quite a sexy mag.
  • 24:09 - 24:12
    D: I think that going future, they're
    trying to, uh, focus less on the
  • 24:12 - 24:16
    cis, uh, gay man perspective (P: Yeah)
    cause the queer community, it's not just
  • 24:16 - 24:20
    horny cis gay men in their mid-30s,
    (P: Okay) so having the magazine just
  • 24:20 - 24:24
    full of full spread asses is maybe not
    what the entire rainbow would appreciate.
  • 24:24 - 24:26
    P: So they've changed it.
    D: They're tryna class it up a bit and
  • 24:26 - 24:30
    have some other people- I mean, part of
    me was like, I want some attention, uh,
  • 24:30 - 24:35
    I want some horniness in the DMs.
    (P laughs) Full ass. Dan ass reveal.
  • 24:35 - 24:37
    P: Oh my god.
    D: Let's go right now.
  • 24:37 - 24:40
    D: But, no, um, so they did that.
    P: Talk about the boot!
  • 24:40 - 24:43
    D: What can I- how can I say this?
    P: They gave Dan some boots to wear.
  • 24:43 - 24:47
    D: It was not all under my control,
    (P: Yeah) hashtag pink background.
  • 24:47 - 24:52
    Um, but, one thing that did really improve
    my day was that they had this beautiful,
  • 24:52 - 24:54
    amazing, Alexander McQueen
    jumpshoot.
  • 24:54 - 24:57
    D: Suit- jumpshoot?
    P: (mocking Dan) Jumpshoot!
  • 24:57 - 24:59
    D: And some boots that went with it
    and these were sick boots,
  • 24:59 - 25:03
    they were these black boots with a steel
    cap and they went with the jumpsuit,
  • 25:03 - 25:06
    and it was really cool, and I was happy,
    (P: Yeah) cause it looked like this
  • 25:06 - 25:09
    photoshoot was actually gonna be
    an enjoyable experience, cause I hate
  • 25:09 - 25:13
    looking at myself posing, being caught in
    photos, (P: Mm) just attention in general.
  • 25:13 - 25:19
    Weird, I know. And no human had ever put
    on these incredibly tight, um, leather shoes.
  • 25:19 - 25:23
    P: No. D: There was like, uh you know,
    20 awkwardly socially distanced people
  • 25:23 - 25:27
    stood in corners of the room with masks,
    just stood in silence, waiting for me to
  • 25:27 - 25:31
    pretend to be a frickin weird model
    for like five seconds (P: Yep)
  • 25:31 - 25:35
    And, basically, the shoe did not fit.
    P: (laughs) It was like-
  • 25:35 - 25:41
    D: Uh, the shoe (P: -Cinderella) did not fit, at all,
    and I actually spent about 20 minutes
  • 25:41 - 25:45
    trying to put this god damn shoe on.
    P: But, imagine like, a photographer
  • 25:45 - 25:48
    waiting, loads of people waiting,
    everyone's just watching. D: Where's Dan?
  • 25:48 - 25:50
    I'm behind a privacy screen in the corner
    of the room,
  • 25:50 - 25:52
    - P: Just like, tryna get the-
    - D: This is not dignified.
  • 25:52 - 25:56
    D: I am hopping- imagine you are half
    naked hopping with a boot in a room
  • 25:56 - 25:58
    full of people that are going (P: Yeah)
    "Where are you? What's happening?"
  • 25:58 - 26:02
    And I just couldn't honestly (P: Yeah)
    I real- I wanted the boot, I wanted to
  • 26:02 - 26:05
    look cool in the boot, (P: Yep)
    I wanted the ensemble dream,
  • 26:05 - 26:09
    I wanted for once in my life to look cool,
    (P: Hmm) am I allowed to be cool once, ever?
  • 26:09 - 26:12
    No is the answer. P: You'd think not.
    D: The universe just said no.
  • 26:12 - 26:15
    And then I, we just had to end up- I did
    it in my socks, and they were like,
  • 26:15 - 26:17
    we're gonna have to photograph you from
    the waist up. P: Awh. I think you should've
  • 26:17 - 26:20
    gone and got some butter and lubed up
    your foot
  • 26:20 - 26:22
    - P: so you could've slid in.
    - D: Honestly, that- I considered that.
  • 26:22 - 26:26
    D: I had a shoehorn, there were three
    people with a shoehorn, trying to keep-
  • 26:26 - 26:28
    - P: Get the foot in the boot!
    - D: you know, they were like [??] away from me
  • 26:28 - 26:29
    so we didn't breathe on each other.
  • 26:29 - 26:32
    P: I mean, you'd still have the boot on now.
    D: Literally.
  • 26:32 - 26:35
    P: Um, so, so, you've done that photoshoot.
    You've done like three interviews, like, what's-
  • 26:35 - 26:37
    D: I- leave me alone. P: Yeah
    D: Leave, leave me alone.
  • 26:37 - 26:39
    P: And you did that YouTube billboard.
  • 26:39 - 26:41
    D: It was an honour, I mean, I just don't
    enjoy getting dressed-
  • 26:41 - 26:43
    - P: No just, getting, getting dressed for it.
    - D: [mumbles] photos of me.
  • 26:43 - 26:46
    D: The photos were really cool, they made
    me remove the Apple logo from the laptop
  • 26:46 - 26:48
    which was very funny (P: Yeah) so it
    looked like I was just working on a
  • 26:48 - 26:52
    mysterious steel slate, um.
    P: At least there was no boot in that one.
  • 26:52 - 26:55
    D: But there we are, at the end of 2020,
    YouTube is featuring me (P: Hmm?)
  • 26:55 - 26:58
    as a treasured creator on a billboard
    in London.
  • 26:58 - 27:01
    P: Wouldn't you think that would mean,
    they're still thinking about Dan?
  • 27:01 - 27:06
    D: Yeah, yeah, hint, one of the things
    that I'm working on is YouTube content.
  • 27:06 - 27:11
    P: Mm. D: I'm just, haven't been able to
    make it yet, so, uh, I'm not being vague
  • 27:11 - 27:16
    cause I want to be, I am literally
    not allowed to talk (P: You're not allowed!)
  • 27:16 - 27:17
    about the things that I'm working on.
  • 27:17 - 27:19
    P: I could talk.
    D: And I- Phil, Phil you can leak it.
  • 27:19 - 27:21
    P: Will they put me in jail?
    D: Be my Tom Holland- yeah they would.
  • 27:21 - 27:24
    They'll just demonetise your channel.
    P: Oh no, don't do it I love you Google.
  • 27:24 - 27:27
    D: Um, but there are, there are very
    exciting things hopefully coming in the
  • 27:27 - 27:32
    fu-tur, I think you've explained before how
    (P: Yeah) in the past we've pitched
  • 27:32 - 27:34
    certain things (P: Oh my god) that
    haven't worked out.
  • 27:34 - 27:37
    P: Yeah, I've pitched, I've pitched so many
    shows to different-
  • 27:37 - 27:38
    D: I mean you've said this in a YouTube video.
    P: I- I think it was in a panel.
  • 27:38 - 27:42
    P: Pitched a sci-fi show that didn't work
    out, I pitched a game show that didn't work out.
  • 27:42 - 27:45
    D: It's a shame when you spend months
    (P: Yeah) working on a dream project.
  • 27:45 - 27:48
    (P: Yeah) I mean, I remember with "The
    Queen's Gambit" on Netflix, the guy said
  • 27:48 - 27:51
    "I wrote the script for 30 years (P: Yeah)
    and no one ever wanted to do it.
  • 27:51 - 27:55
    P: I wrote- D: and then my dream project
    finally became real, never give up on your dreams!
  • 27:55 - 27:59
    P: I wrote like, (D: Persevere) 50 pages
    of such a cool, like, interactive concept
  • 27:59 - 28:02
    (D: Yep) and it just never came to be.
    D: Maybe it will, one day. P: Maybe it will!
  • 28:02 - 28:06
    D: So here's hoping that thicc Dan
    content is comin' at ya. P: I'm hoping so.
  • 28:06 - 28:09
    D: But I appreciate the support.
    P: But, according to Stereo,
  • 28:09 - 28:11
    what are you secretly actually doing?
    D: Oh yeah, that was all lies,
  • 28:11 - 28:12
    what am I actually doing?
  • 28:12 - 28:15
    [@stupidshoes] He decided that he wanted
    to train to become a hairdresser.
  • 28:15 - 28:19
    D: (splutter) P: Hey, when Dan chopped my
    hair, when he, when he fixed it after-
  • 28:19 - 28:24
    D: I- Yeah, yeah! Hey, hey you, that left
    that sarcastic message, I did an okay
  • 28:24 - 28:26
    - job of trimming Phil's hair!
    - P: He helped trim it out, cause it was
  • 28:26 - 28:29
    a disaster (D: Yeah) and I think you're
    gonna have to cut my hair again cause
  • 28:29 - 28:30
    we're in Tier 4, we're not gonna go
  • 28:30 - 28:32
    - into Tier 2 again.
    - D: Yeah it's not happening anytime soon.
  • 28:32 - 28:34
    D: Yeah, if you liked my long hair,
    it's coming back, (P: It's coming back)
  • 28:34 - 28:36
    whether I like it or not. So, um,
    (P: Mine's get-) I should have been
  • 28:36 - 28:39
    training to be a hairdresser.
    P: Mine- mine's getting ridiculous.
  • 28:39 - 28:41
    P: Are you ever gonna dye your hair?
    Are you ever gonna change it up?
  • 28:41 - 28:43
    D: Excuse me? P: You've always had the
    same colour hair.
  • 28:43 - 28:44
    D: I mean, I kind of changed it up, I dunno.
  • 28:44 - 28:46
    P: Blonde.
    D: No, no I'm not gonna dye it.
  • 28:46 - 28:48
    P: We did blonde (D: Okay) blonde
    filter Dan.
  • 28:48 - 28:52
    D: If a gay person dyes their hair, they
    are a visibly spiralling crisis twink, and-
  • 28:52 - 28:55
    P: I want to be a crisis twink.
    D: - you know, I am not allowed to
  • 28:55 - 28:59
    experimentally bleach my hair for
    aesthetic purposes, without it looking
  • 28:59 - 29:02
    like I'm gong through something. (P: Okay)
    That is a stereotype, and you know what,
  • 29:02 - 29:05
    some stereotypes are true, and that's one
    of them. P: Maybe I'll do it. (D laughs)
  • 29:05 - 29:08
    [@natisadulting] Learning to cook,
    I think.
  • 29:08 - 29:10
    P: Learning to cook.
    D: I should.
  • 29:10 - 29:15
    P: You- yeah, I mean, you're not bad, you can
    make a few things, you're not like a disaster chef.
  • 29:15 - 29:18
    D: I can make noodles. P: Yeah?
    Spaghetti bolognese?
  • 29:18 - 29:20
    D: That's just noodles.
    P: That's just noodles.
  • 29:20 - 29:22
    D: It's all just noodles.
    P: That's just pasta.
  • 29:22 - 29:25
    D: It's just variations (P: Hey) upon a
    noodly theme from when I was a,
  • 29:25 - 29:28
    distraught student eating ramen
    noodles every single day.
  • 29:28 - 29:32
    P: In the Dan and Phil house, we're
    very versed with in the pasta section of food.
  • 29:32 - 29:34
    D: Yes, enter the pasta-verse.
  • 29:34 - 29:36
    P: What have I done to the sofa? I- I've just-
    D: You are destroying the sofa.
  • 29:36 - 29:38
    P: This is why I'm not allowed to sit
    on sofas.
  • 29:38 - 29:42
    D: Things that I'll miss when we move
    out of this weird cupboard, these sofas.
  • 29:42 - 29:44
    P: This sofa's been so good, it's even got like,
    D: Been some strong lass.
  • 29:44 - 29:47
    P: customisable head rests. What's goin on?
    D: Whatever the heck that is.
  • 29:47 - 29:49
    P: This looks weird.
    D: Enjoy your sofa back, weird landlord,
  • 29:49 - 29:52
    um, no offense, (P: Um, yeah)
    please give me my deposit back.
  • 29:52 - 29:54
    [@dairiqueen] Do I wanna know what
    Dan's been doing?
  • 29:54 - 29:57
    P: Oh! D: Wha- that's the tea right there.
    And the answer is no.
  • 29:57 - 29:58
    P: No, you don't.
    D: You don't.
  • 29:58 - 30:00
    P: It's not suitable for YouTube.
    D: Yep.
  • 30:00 - 30:03
    P: Okay, um, so. (both laugh)
  • 30:03 - 30:06
    D: I'm working on three things right now
    I'd say. (P: Dum dum dum) One of them
  • 30:06 - 30:11
    got delayed by Covid, one of them is
    probably impossible until uh, lots of
  • 30:11 - 30:15
    people can all congregate together.
    (P: Yeah) We'll see how that works but,
  • 30:15 - 30:18
    I am writing a book, [children in awe]
    that is known. Cause it turns out, hey,
  • 30:18 - 30:22
    the book industry, you have to announce
    something like a year before it comes out
  • 30:22 - 30:25
    (P: Yeah) so, I was like, hello everybody,
    I'm writing a book, they were like,
  • 30:25 - 30:29
    "Wow, can't wait to read it, when?"
    In 40 billion years. P: Yeah.
  • 30:29 - 30:30
    D: Why's it take so long to print?
  • 30:30 - 30:33
    P: Dan's been writing this, like every moment
    I've looked at him he's been writing.
  • 30:33 - 30:39
    D: Ever since the iconic world-changing
    piece of creative literature that was,
  • 30:39 - 30:41
    "THE Amazing Book Is Not On Fire".
  • 30:41 - 30:42
    P: I mean you can't beat it.
  • 30:42 - 30:43
    D: Let's talk about The Amazing
    Book Is Not On Fire.
  • 30:43 - 30:45
    P: We could just do a whole- D: It was great.
    P: Stereo about that.
  • 30:45 - 30:47
    D: D'you remember the first tour we did
    (P: Oof.) "The Amazing Tour Is Not On Fire"
  • 30:47 - 30:49
    P: So good. D: Yet to be beaten.
    P: It was so good.
  • 30:49 - 30:52
    D: Dan and Phil, they really came in and
    set the bar. P: We did.
  • 30:52 - 30:54
    D: The things we did.
    P: That. D: Mm.
  • 30:54 - 30:56
    P: So why are you are you doing a book?
    D: And that's on full stop.
  • 30:56 - 30:59
    P: Boop. Boop.
    D: What?
  • 30:59 - 31:00
    P: Why are you doin a book?
  • 31:00 - 31:04
    D: Are you a- (P laughs) are you- are you
    letting me (P: I'm- look) do some self-promo
  • 31:04 - 31:05
    - right now, oh my God.
    - P: Even though this is a Dan- like I
  • 31:05 - 31:09
    P: wanna give you your spon!
    [twinkly sound effect] spon!
  • 31:09 - 31:14
    P: Click the link below, pre-order Dan's book!
    D: Aw, listen to this guy, being supportive!
  • 31:14 - 31:16
    P: You will get through this
    D: Thank you. P: night.
  • 31:16 - 31:20
    D: I mean, ever since I you know,
    depression video, gay video, all these
  • 31:20 - 31:23
    people are like, "Dan, write a book.
    Tell us your story."
  • 31:23 - 31:27
    And it's like, I'm not gonna write a
    memoir. Bitch, firstly I'm 12 years old.
  • 31:27 - 31:31
    (P: Yeah) Secondly, my life story is on
    YouTube. Just go watch it. (P: Yeah)
  • 31:31 - 31:35
    What do you want from me? Some people
    were like, why don't you do, something
  • 31:35 - 31:39
    about mental health? (P: Yes) and,
    in the world of mental health books
  • 31:39 - 31:43
    most of them are usually, basically what
    my Daniel and Depression video is (P: Yeah)
  • 31:43 - 31:46
    which is, hi, I'm a person who went through
    something, this is my story, I'm gonna
  • 31:46 - 31:51
    dispel misconception, but that doesn't
    necessarily help people reading it that much,
  • 31:51 - 31:56
    (P: No) it's more about a story. Whereas,
    you got the self-help, heavy, books, that
  • 31:56 - 32:00
    are really hard to understand that probably
    contain helpful information but people
  • 32:00 - 32:03
    don't read them. (P: Mm) I think,
    Harper Collins, were basically like,
  • 32:03 - 32:03
    [serious dramatic music]
  • 32:03 - 32:09
    but Dan, what if, you do a book that
    is about the stuff that helps people
  • 32:09 - 32:13
    but you actually make it, enjoyable
    and easy to read, and it's all about you
  • 32:13 - 32:17
    and your life story? (P: Yeah) and honestly.
    thinking about mental health, which
  • 32:17 - 32:19
    is a serious topic, (P: Yes) as much as we
    love to meme.
  • 32:19 - 32:24
    It was one of those moments where I was
    like, I genuinely- I can't not do this (P: Yeah)
  • 32:24 - 32:27
    So I was like, yes, okay, I'm doing
    this book.
  • 32:27 - 32:30
    P: I think it will help people. Hey,
    guess what? I've read the book!
  • 32:30 - 32:33
    [children in awe] D: Phil, yes, spoliers,
    I gave it to Phil. P: Yeah
  • 32:33 - 32:35
    D: Advanced copy.
    P: I'm the first person to read it.
  • 32:35 - 32:37
    D: Review?
    P: Review. [crickets chirping]
  • 32:37 - 32:40
    P: It's rubbish. (laughs)
    [sad music]
  • 32:40 - 32:43
    P: No, it's a, no, it was, actually,
    I'm one of those people that's like
  • 32:43 - 32:45
    my mental health is fine. I don't
    worry about anything, but then
  • 32:45 - 32:48
    getting into it, I was like, oo I'm actually-
    D: Oh, oh honey.
  • 32:48 - 32:51
    (D laughs) P: No, I'm act- I've actually
    learnt so many things that I could be
  • 32:51 - 32:53
    doing better, aND, learning some stuff
    about you as well, it's like-
  • 32:53 - 32:55
    D: Would you say it was funny?
    P: Yeah it was fun-
  • 32:55 - 32:59
    D: Would you say it was juicy?
    P: The thing is, it's funny, but also
  • 32:59 - 33:01
    helpful, so you're not reading it like,
    oh it's a textbook.
  • 33:01 - 33:03
    D: Oh yeah totally, I mean like
    it's full of juicy tea about me,
  • 33:03 - 33:07
    like I've been doing (P: Yeah) for the last
    10 years on YouTube, I'm just splicing
  • 33:07 - 33:10
    myself open saying look at my insides
    and laugh at my pain, (P: Yes)
  • 33:10 - 33:14
    you're welcome. You might go in,
    wanting to sip the tea from Dan's life,
  • 33:14 - 33:17
    and then come away going, damn it,
    I accidentally learnt how to completely
  • 33:17 - 33:22
    transform my life and now I'm healthier
    and happier! (P: Yeah) Ugh, you got me Dan.
  • 33:22 - 33:26
    Hopefully, I am being entertaining and nice,
    you're learning about me, and if you come
  • 33:26 - 33:30
    away with something that you think will
    make you healthier and happier, then,
  • 33:30 - 33:31
    you know, (P: Yep) I'll be glad
    that I wrote it.
  • 33:31 - 33:33
    P: Well great! You can,
    pre-order the book,
  • 33:33 - 33:36
    - P: It's in the link below!
    - D: You can! Awh, thank you Phil.
  • 33:36 - 33:37
    P: I'm hyped for you Danny.
  • 33:37 - 33:42
    D: The book was actually supposed to be,
    the last thing, (P: Yeah) but now
  • 33:42 - 33:46
    it's gonna be the first thing. (P: That's fine)
    Because of 2020- thanks 2020.
  • 33:46 - 33:50
    P: Wa-wa-wa. D: Uh, yeah, next year
    may be very exciting.
  • 33:50 - 33:55
    D: It's been a year. Hopefully the people
    commenting "Who's watching in 2079?"
  • 33:55 - 33:59
    will go, "Wow, that was weird." (P: Yeah)
    but we all got through it and life
  • 33:59 - 34:03
    became new and exciting. (P: We did)
    Was Dan ever alive? I guess we'll find out.
  • 34:03 - 34:04
    [static noise]
  • 34:04 - 34:08
    P: Bye!
    D: [high-pitched] Bye, I love you all.
  • 34:08 - 34:09
    D: [still high-pitched] Have a nice
    evening.
  • 34:09 - 34:11
    [Phil] Thanks for all the love you've
    given these shows, if you wanna watch
  • 34:11 - 34:15
    any of the videos back, with Louise, Seth,
    PJ or Martyn, I've put 'em in a handy
  • 34:15 - 34:19
    playlist here. And remember to click
    the link below to join in with the Stereo
  • 34:19 - 34:22
    afterparty, or if you're listening in
    the future, you can go listen back to it
  • 34:22 - 34:25
    at any time. Goodbye.
Title:
Something We Want to Tell You!
Description:

more » « less
Video Language:
English
Duration:
34:25

English subtitles

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