My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic - Season 2 Episode 7: May the Best Pet Win Captioned

Rainbow Dash holds a contest to find the perfect pet for her.

Rainbow Dash: (zipping through air) Haha! Woohoo!

Yeah! (laughs) Whoa!

(laughs)

Whoop! Ha-ha!

(Owloysius hoots)
Rainbow Dash: Who?

Oh, it's you, Owloysius.
C'mon, try and keep up!

(both buzzing through air like race cars)

(laughs, Winona barks)

Rainbow Dash: Winona?
I mean... Winona's head?!

Um, is this weird, or is it just me?

Angel? Gummy?!

Okay, this is officially beyond weird now
and moved right on down to freaky town.

(Opalescence hisses, Rainbow Dash gasps)

Yahh!

Wahh!

(Opalescence yowls, Winona barks)

(Owloysius hoots)
Rainbow Dash: Phew.

(theme song begins) My Little Pony, My Little Pony, ah, ah, ah, ah,

(My Little Pony) Twilight: I used to wonder what friendship could be

(My Little Pony) Until you all shared its magic with me

Rainbow Dash: Big adventure
Pinkie Pie: Tons of fun

Rarity: A beautiful heart
Applejack: Faithful and strong

Fluttershy: Sharing kindness
Twilight: It's an easy feat

All: And magic makes it all complete, yeah

(My Little Pony) Do you know, you're all my very best friends

(Winona barks)

(mane cast chattering)
Applejack: All right! Let's get this thing started!

(Pinkie Pie giggles)

Rarity: Sincerest apologies, Rainbow,
if our pets were bothering you.

(Opalescence meows)
Say you're sorry, Opal.

(Opalescence hisses)
She's... sorry.

Rainbow Dash: What are you all doing out here?

Applejack: Why, we always round up our critters
for a regular ol' Pony Pet Playdate in this park.

Rainbow Dash: Uh, you do?
Applejack: Same time every week.

Fluttershy: I thought you knew.
(remorseful) You didn't know? She didn't know?

Twilight Sparkle: Well we had initially planned
on inviting Rainbow, of course, except–

Pinkie Pie: We were TOTALLY gonna invite you, Rainbow,

then Twilight remembered that you don't even have a pet,

and Rarity remembered that you really like
to take naps in the afternoon,

so Applejack figured you wouldn't be
missing out on anything anyway,

and Fluttershy and I nodded our heads in agreement like this.

(head nods whirring)
Fluttershy: Oh, please don't be mad at us.

Rainbow Dash: Oh, I'm not mad. You all are right.

Not much point of a Pony Pet Playdate for me
if I'm a pony without a pet, right?

Applejack: Eeexactly. So, if'n you'll excuse us...

(all chattering with their pets and playing cheerfully)

(playing sounds continue)

Rainbow Dash: (defensively) Hey, now wait a minute!

Just because I don't have a pet NOW
doesn't mean I NEVER want a pet!

Fluttershy: (excitedly) Ohh! Y--y-- Oh, really? You really want a pet? Really?

'Cause I've got so many wonderful choices at my house.

Oh, and I know you'll just love them, and they'll love you, oh!

(squealing) And you'll be best friends forever and ever! Oh!

(Find a Pet song begins)

(singing) Now, Rainbow my dear
I cannot express my delight

It's abundantly clear
That somewhere out here

Is a pet that will suit you just right

Rainbow Dash: (singing) I can't wait to get started
But first let me set a few rules

It's of utmost importance
The pet that I get

Is something that's awesome and cool

Fluttershy: Awesome, cool, got it.

(singing) I have so many wonderful choices
Just wait, you will see

Rainbow Dash: (singing) I need something real fast
Like a bullet to keep up with me

Fluttershy: (singing) Sure!
How 'bout a bunny?

They're cutsey and wutsey and quick as can be

Rainbow Dash: Cutsey? Ootsey?
Have you even met me?

Fluttershy: (singing) Rainbow have faith
You see, I will bet you

Somewhere in here is a pet that will get you

C'mon, the sky's the limit!
Rainbow Dash: Sky is good. I'd like it to fly.

Fluttershy: Really? Because I think this widdle puddy tat
has your name written all over it.

(affectionately) Yes he does. Aww, look, he likes you!

Rainbow Dash: (unmoved) Pass.

Fluttershy: (singing) I have so many wonderful choices
For you to decide

There are otters and seals
With massive appeal

Rainbow Dash: Otters and seals do not fly.

Fluttershy: Maybe not, but I've seen this particular seal
catch ten feet of air when he breaches the water.

(seal barks giddily)
Rainbow Dash: That's it. I'm outta here.

Fluttershy: (singing) Wait! There must be a pet here
That will fit the ticket

How 'bout a ladybug or a cute cricket?

Rainbow Dash: Bigger. And cooler.

Fluttershy: Bigger. Cooler. Right.

(singing) I've got just the thing in that tree, Dash

Meet your new fabulous pet Squirrely

Rainbow Dash: (unmoved) It's just a squirrel.

Fluttershy: Not just any squirrel. A flying squirrel!

Rainbow Dash: Yeah. So, like I was saying.

(singing) Fluttershy, pal, this won't cut it
I need a pet to keep up with me

Something awesome
Something flying

With coolness that defies gravity
(fireworks pop)

Fluttershy: I'm sensing you want an animal that can fly.
Rainbow Dash: Ya think?

Fluttershy: (singing) I have plenty of wonderful creatures
Who soar in the sky

Like a sweet hummingbird or a giant monarch butterfly

Rainbow Dash: Better, but cooler.
Fluttershy: I see.

(singing) How 'bout an owl, or a wasp, or a toucan?

There's so many wonderful creatures the likes of that

There are falcons and eagles
They are both quite regal

Or perhaps what you need is a dark and mysterious bat

Rainbow Dash: Now you're talking.

But instead of just one stand out, now that's too many.

(singing) So many choices, and such riches a-plenty

Fluttershy: Not a bad problem to have if you ask me.

Rainbow Dash: (singing) The bat would be awesome
But the wasp I'm digging too

D'you have something in a yellow striped bat?

Fluttershy: No.

(singing) I've got a hot pink flamingo
Just dying to meet you

Rainbow Dash: (singing) What to do, what to do (gasps)

A prize! That's it! There's really just one way

To find out which animal's best

Hold a contest, of speed
Agility and guts

That will put each pet to the teeeest

Fluttershy: (singing) Don't forget style
That should be considered

Rainbow Dash: (singing) Then we'll know for sure
Who's best of the litter

Fluttershy: (singing) The one who is awesome and cool
Rainbow Dash: (singing) Just like me

Can't settle for less, 'cause I'm the best
Both: (singing) So a contest we will see

Rainbow Dash: (singing) Who's the number one
Greatest, perfectest pet

Both: (singing) In the world for meeee

Fluttershy: (singing) May the games
Both: (singing) Begin

Rainbow Dash: And may the best pet win!
(song ends)

(whistle tweets)

(ponies chattering in support)

Rainbow Dash: Shh! (chattering stops)

(to assembled animals) So! You all think you've got
what it takes to be my pet, do ya?

Well, we'll just see about that!
(flamingo gulps)

If any of you don't think you can handle it, bow out now
before you humiliate yourself in front of your peers.

This competition isn't for the weak.

You'd better be prepared to step...up...your...game!

YOU CALL THAT FLAPPING?!

That's better.

There's only room on Team Dash for one of you,

and my future pet needs to be able to take it to the extreme!

(ascends through air) Any questions?

Applejack: (softly) I got one.
Does she understand what a pet really needs?

Twilight: Yeah, like care and attention, love and affection--

(Winona licks her)
Ugh! And breath mints!

Fluttershy: (motherly) Now, you just pay attention,
and try your best, and-

Rainbow Dash: Seriously, Fluttershy! The turtle?

What did you bring that thing here for?

Fluttershy: Technically he's a tortoise,
and he's always dreamed of being somepony's pet.

He just wants a chance to compete, he won't get in the way.

You won't even know he's here.

Rainbow Dash: (sternly) No.
Fluttershy: (pleading) Oh, just let him try.

Rainbow Dash: (scoffs) But there's no way he can possibly keep up.

Look at him.

Fluttershy: It won't hurt to let him try.

Rainbow Dash: But--
Fluttershy: Just let him try.

Rainbow Dash: (grunts, sighs) Fine!

But don't say I didn't warn you!

This isn't a game, you know?

Alright, now these games will determine which one of you
has the most important qualities I'm looking for in a pet.

(whoosh) Speed!

Agility!

(screech) Guts!

(zoom) Style!

(whoosh) Coolness!

Awesomeness!

And radicalness!

Twilight: Aren't those all the same thing?

Rainbow Dash: You would think that, Twilight.

And that's why you would never qualify to be my pet.

Speed! On your marks...
(duck quacks)

Get set...

(blows whistle, animals zip off)

(whooshing)

Sorta speedy... not speedy...

pretty speedy... could be more speedy...

(falcon cries, then zips off)

Yeah! That's speed!

(other main cast cheering)

(to the tortoise) Tsk, tsk, that's just sad.

Agility!

Sorta agile...

not agile...

pretty agile...

could be more agile...

(to the tortoise) Wanna know the opposite of agility? That.

(hummingbird zipping around)

(other main cast cheering)

Yeah baby, now that's what I call agility!

Don't leave me hangin'!

I'm gonna have to shave a point off your score for that.

Okay! Which of you has the guts
to try and get Opal's favorite toy away from her?

(toy mouse squeaks)

(Opalescence growls deeply)

(dramatic music)

(Opal growls)

(hypnotic chimes)

Now THAT takes guts!

(Opal screeches, shrieks)

Style!
(camera shutter clicking)

(camera shutter clicking)

Any pet of mine's gotta look good,
'cause you gotta make me look good!

(camera shutter clicks)

Coolness!

(owl hoots)
Sorta cool.

(duck quacks)
Not cool.

(bat cries)
Pretty cool.

(toucan cries)
Could be cooler.

(wasp buzzing)
Not what I had in mind.

I can't hear you!

(tortoise hacks throat)
Eugh.

(eagle cries)
Now that's a cool sound!

(bat emits sonar sounds)

Sorta awesome.

(toucan croaks)

Not awesome.

(flamingo chirps)

Could be more awesome.

Hohoho, yeah, that is AWESOME!

Uh, you did that already.
That's pretty much all you can do, huh?

(duck tap-dancing, twirls cane)

(bat plays My Little Pony theme on glasses)

(high-pitched squeal, glasses shatter)
Whoa!

That was truly awesome!

But... I'm afraid this is the radicalness competition,

so I'm gonna have to take some points off.

(flames crackle, blade scrapes, winder creaks)

(boing)

(sighs deeply) Listen, turtle...

Fluttershy: Tortoise.
Rainbow Dash: Whatever!

You've had your fun, but I think you and I both know
who made the cut and who didn't.

(tortoise croaks quietly)

(clearly) You didn't.

(other main cast cheers on animals)

I mean... A for effort and everything,
you gave it your best shot,

maybe I've got a gold star sticker around here
somewhere you can have, but, seriously, go home.

(calmly) You're starting to creep me out.

So, anyway...

(addressing) you're all outstanding competitors,

but there can only be one of you who's number one.

(building suspense) So the final, tie-breaking contest is going to be...

pause for dramatic effect

...a race against ME!

Through Ghastly Gorge!
(imitates dramatic music) Dun dun dun!

(eagle cries)
Gesundheit.

(Ride of the Valkyries begins, Rainbow Dash sighs)

Actually, Ghastly Gorge isn't scary. It's fun. Heh.

(contemptuously) I've flown through it a million times myself,
so, obviously I'll be at the front of the pack.

But whichever of you make it across the finish line with me
will have proven you can keep up with me,

and will have earned the honor, and glory,
of getting to be my pet!

Ready? ... Setgo!

(Rainbow Dash and the rest zoom off)

(Ride of the Valkyries playing)

Woohoo! Haha! Try to keep up!

(whizzing through air, accelerating)

Can't catch me! (chuckles)

(wind whistles fiercely)

(Rainbow Dash whistles Ride of the Valkyries)

(skids)

Come on, slowpokes! You wanna win, don't ya?

(thud)

(eagle twirls)

(bat emitting solar)

(bat blows raspberry)

Oh! I forgot to tell you!

Watch out for the Quarray eels!

They don't like it when you get too close to their nests, like this!

(eels snap, Rainbow Dash grunts and dodges)

(eels snarl)

(snap)

(chomp)

Easy, peasy, one-two-threesy!

Right guys? (whack)

(rock cracking)

(rocks hitting ground)
(crying out) AVALANCHE!

Hey! Whoaaaa!
(rocks tumble over)

(thump)

(Rainbow Dash strains as her wing stretches)
Come on!

(calling out) No! Wait! Come back! Don't leave me!

(worriedly) I'm the one who's supposed to win!

I don't wanna end up stuck here... forever!

(panicking) Oh no, nonono, th-this can't be happening.

Forever is WAY too long to be trapped in Ghastly Gorge.

I mean, it's like... (dramatically) forever!

(crying out) Somepony! Anypony! Help me!

(quiet echo)

(quiet rustling sound)

Wahoo! My prayers have been answered!

Oh, thankyouthankyoutha- (scornfully) You?!

(worriedly) Oh no! Now I'm not only going to be stuck here forever,

I'm gonna be stuck here forever with the most ANNOYING turtle in the world!

(sighs, begins to cry) I'm doomed. DOOMED, I tell you!

(boulder creaks)

(ponies cheering)

(cheering dies down)

(ponies murmur in discomfort)

Twilight: Hmm, something's not right here.

Fluttershy: Where's Rainbow Dash?

Applejack: Great galloping galoshes!
There's been an avalanche in there!

Spike: (concerned) Rainbow!
(others murmur in concern)

Pinkie Pie: Wait! Look!

Fluttershy: It's the turtle!
Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Rarity and Twilight: Tortoise!

Fluttershy: ...whatever...
Twilight: And he's carrying something on his back...

Pinkie Pie: Ahh! It's Rainbow Dash! It's her! It's Rainbow!

(all cheer in excitement)

(cheering dies down)

Fluttershy: Maybe we'd better go meet 'em half way.

(fanfare music)

(mane cast cheers)

Spike: Huh. Way to go, little guy!

Twilight: (relieved) Oh, thank goodness you're not hurt, Rainbow.

Rainbow Dash: Just my pride.

Rarity: I certainly hope all of this dreadful dust was worth it!

(sneezes dramatically)

Applejack: It sure was, if'n it means Rainbow gets to have
her own little critter just like the rest of us from now on.

(tortoise groans)

Rainbow Dash: Uh... thanks. What you did... I owe you one.

Fluttershy: (singsong) Rainbow!
Your new pet is over here waiting for you!

(mane cast murmurs in awe)

Rainbow Dash: (unenthusiastic) Oh... right... yeah. That.

Spike: What's the matter?
Pinkie Pie: You got your perfect pet, right?

Fluttershy: The best of the best like you wanted, remember?

It can fly and it's not a squirrel!
Should we sing about it again?

Applejack: A falcon sure looks good on ya, Rainbow.

(camera shutter clicks, tortoise yelps)

Rainbow Dash: (reassuringly) Easy, fella.
Nothing to be afraid of.

The falcon sure does looks cool...

he's absolutely everything I wanted in a pet. (sighs)

Fluttershy: Yay?

Rainbow Dash: But I said whoever crosses the finish line WITH me gets to be my pet.

Pinkie Pie: (excitedly) You did! You did say that!

(expressively) She did say that, that was the rule!

Rainbow Dash: And the only racer who crossed the finish line with me,

was the one who stopped to save me when I needed help.

The tortoise!
(falcon cries)

Twilight: But what about the--

(tortoise croaks in content and purrs)

Applejack: Wouldja look at that? He even smiles slow.

(laughter and chattering)

Rainbow Dash: Spike, take a letter.

Dear Princess Celestia, I used to think
that the most important traits to look for in a pet,

or any best friend, were all physical competitive abilities.

But now I can see how short-sighted and shallow that was.

(Opalescence growls)
Today I learned what the most important quality really is.

A certain kind of spirit. A stick-to-it-ive-ness.

A never give up, can-do attitude that's the mark of a real winner.

And this tortoise has it.

Twilight: Tenacity.
Rainbow Dash: Gesundheit.

You just can't stop that little guy.

He's like a... like a... Tank!

Fluttershy: But Rainbow, you didn't want a pet that couldn't fly

because it would keep you grounded and hold you back, remember?

Rainbow Dash: Hmm...

(rest of main cast cheering and talking to their pets)

Rainbow Dash: (chuckles) Come on, Tank!

We're gonna be late for our very first Pony Pet Playdate!

(propeller whirs)

(ending theme begins) My Little Pony

My Little Pony

(instrumental)

My Little Pony, friends