Esther Perel: The secret to desire in a long-term relationship

(Applause)

So, why does good sex so often fade even for couples who
continue to love each other as much as ever?

And why does good intimacy not guarantee good sex contrary to
popular belief?

Or, the next question would be, can we want what we
already have?

That's the million dollar question, right?

And why is the forbidden so erotic? What is it about
transgression that makes desire so potent?

And why does sex makes babies and babies spell erotic
disaster in couples?

It's kind of the fatal erotic blow, isn't it?

And when you love, how does it feel? And when you
desire, how is it different?

These are some of the questions that are at the center of my
exploration on the nature of erotic desire

and its its concomitant dilemmas in modern love.
So, I travel the globe, and what i am noticing is that

everywhere where romanticism has entered, there seems to be a
crisis of desire.

A crisis of desire, as in owning the wanting - desire as an expression of our individuality,

of our free choice, of our preferences, of our identity - desire that
has become a central concept

as part of modern love and individualistic societies.

You know, this is the first time in the history of humankind,
where we are trying to experience sexuality

in the long term, not because we want 14 children, for which
we need to have even more because