-
What's up cinephiles,
I'm Evasive,
-
and this piece of paper right here
means two things:
-
Number one, I am tens of
thousands of
-
dollars in debt,
-
and number two, I know a lot
about movies.
-
and since the U.S government
isn't giving me any debt relief this year,
-
I have no choice now but to
torture myself on the Internet
-
for money to pay off the loans
-
I took out to go to film school.
-
So for this video, I watched every
movie that's ever won
-
a Razzie Award for Worst Picture
of the Year.
-
This was an extremely painful
experience
-
and I regretted my decision
immediately,
-
but for the sake of
my adoring fans
-
and my bank account,
-
I went ahead and watched
all 46 of these
-
movies so I could
explain them to you.
-
But after the grueling experience
of watching all these movies,
-
I'm not about to tackle this
breakdown alone.
-
So I went ahead and roped in
another video essay girly
-
and a talking trash can
-
to help explain some of these
movies for me.
-
But before I get to the movies,
-
let me explain what the Razzies are.
-
The Golden Raspberry Awards are
an annual event,
-
usually held the night before the Oscars,
-
to give out awards for the worst
movies of the year.
-
It was founded by Hollywood
copywriter
-
John Wilson and editor Maureen
Murphy.
-
The idea for the Razzies came
about in 1980
-
when Wilson saw Can't Stop
the Music and Xanadu, back to back
-
and hated them both so much, he thought
there ought to be an award show
-
for this type of thing.
-
Months later, Wilson hosted an
-
Oscars watch party at his house,
-
and after the Oscars had finished,
-
he and Murphy passed out ballots
to everyone at the party
-
to vote on the worst movies of the year,
-
and then he announced the
winners in his living room.
-
Over time, the ceremony
grew and grew,
-
and today they're considered a staple
of the Hollywood award season
-
as a low-budget Bizarro World
Oscars
-
that distributes awards in
categories
-
such as Worst Actor, Worst Director,
-
and Worst Screenplay.
-
Unlike the qualifications for voting
at the Oscars though,
-
becoming a Razzie voter
is very easy:
-
either be friends with
one of the producers
-
or just pay a $40 membership fee.
-
That's all it takes.
-
So that's the story of the Razzies.
-
Now are you ready to learn about
every single movie
-
that won Worst Picture?
-
Because I wasn't.
-
There's 46 of these things, so I'm
going to talk about each one
-
for just a minute or two
-
and hand off a few to my guests
-
so I don't completely lose my mind here.
-
Also, I put a content warning on a
bunch of these movies
-
because of the sensitive subject
matter I discuss.
-
Not trying to traumatize anybody
but myself in this video.
-
Well, me and my guests.
-
But I commissioned them for this,
so it-it's fine.
-
"Anybody who swallows two snowballs
and a ding-dong shouldn't"
-
"have trouble with pride."
-
The first movie to win Worst Picture was
Can't Stop The Music,
-
A movie about the "origins"
of the disco group Village People.
-
And I say origins in air-quotes because
the Village People play themselves
-
and the plot is completely made-up
-
and not at all how the Village People
actually formed
-
The movie itself is super campy
and full of these crazy musical numbers
-
that are unironically kinda great.
-
It's just too bad that in between
those musical numbers are these scenes
-
with really terrible acting
that go on for way too long.
-
[movie] -Wait a minute! I am not taking one
-more step 'til I know where I'm going.
-
-Yeah, quit my job, and you
-got me walking the beat again!
-
- I'm not even getting paid for it!
- Hold your horses.
-
-I told you I had a surprise for you.
-
-I hope so. I turned in my
-coin change with the toll booth.
-
its not that awful of a movie, but by 1980
the disco fad was pretty much over and
-
people loved to hate on
disco music at the time
-
so you can see why this
ended up being such a huge bomb.
-
Also, shockingly, this movie marks the
first film appearance of Caitlyn Jenner
-
and apparently the experience was so bad
-
she didn't appear in a movie again until
Jack & Jill in 2011.
-
And, uh, well.
-
Mommie Dearest is a "biopic"
-
about the life of actress Joan Crawford's
adopted daughter Christina.
-
and again, I say biopic in air-quotes
because the movie was based on
-
Christina Crawford's controversial memoir
-
that other members of Joan Crawford's
family disavowed when it came out.
-
I haven't done much research on the topic
-
so I'm in no position
to question this story.
-
But I will say that after
the movie was made
-
Christina said the film was grotesque
and not true to her memoir.
-
Released just 4 years after
Joan Crawford passed away,
-
this movie basically spits all over
her fresh grave
-
and portrays her as a horrible mother
-
who frequently, physically and emotionally
abused her daughter.
-
now whether or not this is actually true
is still a matter for debate of course.
-
Regardless of the real-life circumstances
behind the movie,
-
Faye Dunway's performance
of Joan Crawford is iconic now.
-
People who have unfortunately experienced
emotional abuse from a parent
-
found her performance
scarily true to their own life experiences
-
but general audiences thought
she was just being
-
outrageously campy and
over the top the whole movie.
-
Because of its reputation
-
the film accidentally
became a queer cult classic over the years
-
especially in the drag community.
-
and it was even featured in the most
recent season of RuPaul's Drag Race.
-
"No wire hangers!"
-
♫ No more wire hangers ♫
♫ Ah, ah! ♫
-
♫ No, no, wire hangers ♫
♫ No, no, no, no ♫
-
[Evasive] Inchon is a movie about
the battle of Incheon in the Korean War.
-
It was financed and produced
by the Unification Church,
-
a movement that was and still is
considered a dangerous cult
-
with a leader who called himself
the second coming of Jesus Christ.
-
The film's producer was
a very wealthy member of the church.
-
who said he was instructed by God
to make the film.
-
So, unsurprisingly, no investors wanted
any part of this.
-
and all 46 million dollars of the budget ended up
being provided by the church and its followers.
-
The film itself doesn't really have much
to do with the Unification Church.
-
It's a straightforward war movie that's
just boring and unremarkable.
-
It had some star power but only because
the actors in it were paid a lot of money.
-
with Laurence Olivier even admitting
before the movie was released
-
that he was only in it for the money.
-
It was such a flop that nobody even
bothered to release it on home media.
-
and the only available version
of the movie today
-
is from an old VHS rip from when it
played on Unification Church TV channel.
-
The only thing worth seeing in this movie
is Laurence Olivier's makeup job.
-
I mean he looks like the Joker.
-
This movie is just tasteless.
-
it's based on a novel by Harold Robbins
-
who was paid 600 000 dollars
for the film rights,
-
and apparently fell asleep
in the screening room,
-
and never actually watched the movie.
-
First of all, in the first 15 minutes,
-
young Ray Liotta,
in his first ever movie role,
-
sexually assaults the main character
with a garden hose.
-
and then after that the rest of the movie
is just her being forced to have sex
-
with gross older men
in order to get ahead in Hollywood.
-
And you see all of it.
-
It seems like it was trying to criticize
sexism in Hollywood
-
but instead of handling it with
any kind of nuance or respect
-
the movie fully shows the sex scenes
-
and does the very thing
it's trying to critique.
-
The final scene in the movie shows
her winning an Oscar for Best Screenplay
-
and calling out the men
who took advantage of her
-
in her acceptance speech.
-
and then she's booed off stage, and leaves,
and the movie just ends there.
-
It's really uncomfortable to watch.
-
But somehow the next movie is even worse.
-
Ugh, god, ok. soo..
-
Bolero is a movie by John Derek.
-
John Derek is—
(groan)
-
John Derek was an old Hollywood actor
-
who appeared in supporting roles in
several big movies in the 1940s and 50s.
-
In 1973 when Derek was 47 years old,
-
he traveled to Europe to direct
a low-budget movie called
-
"Once upon a Love" starring
a 16 year old girl named
-
"Mary Cathleen Collins".
-
During the production—
(retching)
-
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry
-
During the production,
John Derek left his wife
-
and groomed Mary Collins
into a sexual relationship,
-
With the two staying in Europe
until she turned 18
-
so he could avoid
statutory rape charges.
-
When they got married a few years later,
she changed her name to Bo Derek
-
and proceeded to star in all of his movies
until he died in 1998.
-
(retching)
(vomit squelching)
-
I'm sorry.
-
So anyway, Bolero was a movie
about a young woman fresh from college
-
who travels to Morocco in Spain
to lose her virginity.
-
and If that wasn't bad enough,
-
this movie features a full-frontal
nudity scene with a 14 year old girl.
-
Not an actress playing a 14 year old girl.
-
An actual 14 year old girl.
-
(retching, vomit squelching)
(coughing)
-
If you've never seen any
Rambo movies before
-
the image you probably associate
with the word "Rambo"
-
is the one where
hypermasculine Sylvester Stallone
-
is firing a machine gun
without a shirt on.
-
But see, that's actually from this movie,
"Rambo First Blood: Part II",
-
which has very little to do
with Part 1 at all.
-
The whole point of
the first Rambo movie is that
-
Rambo was a Vietnam War veteran
with severe PTSD
-
who snaps and kills a bunch of
small-town cops who treat him like shit.
-
This sequel, on the other hand
-
throws that tragic anti-war character
out the window
-
as the US government sends him
back to Vietnam
-
to locate prisoners of war
-
and Rambo is just like weirdly ok with that.
-
It's like he immediately got over his PTSD
-
and just got straight to blowing stuff up,
no problem.
-
This movie was
a massive box office success
-
and made double of what
the first movie made,
-
so naturally, Rambo III also ditched
the anti-war angle
-
and sent Rambo to Afghanistan.
-
I dunno as someone who thought
the first movie was amazing,
-
it really sucks to see how quickly
they ruined this character.
-
But, like, I get it.
-
The people who went to go see
these sequels in theaters
-
didn't watch it for the plot.
-
They watched to see
Sylvester Stallone do this.
-
(bow twang)
(explosion)
-
In the early 80s,
Prince was a rising star.
-
And his stardom was cemented in 1984
-
with the massive hit that was Purple Rain.
-
so after the success of Purple Rain,
-
Warner Bros. told Prince he was basically allowed to
do whatever he wanted for his next project
-
greenlighting Under the Cherry Moon
without even reading the script
-
the story is, Prince plays a guy in
the French Rivier named Christopher
-
He and his friend (tricky) try to
scam a rich girl out of her inheritance
-
but they both end up
falling in love with her.
-
problems with the movie became apparent early on
-
when Prince hired someone with
no experience to write the script.
-
Then 16 days into filming,
the director quit.
-
And Prince took over even though he had
no experience directing a movie before.
-
The end result was a movie that features
what I can only describe as
-
sarcastically says Acting.
-
Don't try anything funny.
Not this time, Christopher.
-
I want the money or I throw
you both out onto the street.
-
(gasp)
-
That's right, [inaudible]
-
Throw me on the the street?
-
It's bizarre, it's one of
those movies where
-
the acting is so bad
it loops around to being funny
-
which has given it
a bit of a cult following over the years
-
that and the soundtrack is amazing
-
like with Purple Rain
-
Prince released an album with the movie
that went Platinum
-
and is today remembered as
one of his most iconic albums of his career
-
After Under the Cherry Moon failed,
Prince tried one more time
-
to direct a feature-length movie
-
but that one got nominated
for a bunch of Razzies too
-
and after that he gave up and
never tried to direct a movie again.
-
Also this here marks
the first ever tie in Razzies history
-
with Under the Cherry Moon tieing with
-
(laughing)
-
Howard the Duck.
-
(Evasive laughing)
-
Greetings, Evasive viewers,
it is I, young Junko, expert in Bird Law
-
and I'm here to defend
my client Howard T. Duck,
-
star of the Razzies' Worst Film of 1986,
Howard The Duck
-
For nearly the last 40 years
my client's reputation has been
-
tarnished and slandered against
-
by quack punch, chicken shit critics
for this tragic box office bomb.
-
"Central character, the Duck, the one
that we're gonna be rooting for,
-
he's neither funny, or bit of funny."
-
But I'm here to clear the air.
-
Howard the Duck is not a movie,
no, it's a duckumentary.
-
I know this because I was there.
-
We all were.
-
My entire clan witnessed
my client crash land on Earth
-
to star in a motion picture
that of which has been
-
Um.
-
it's still awful. It's bad.
We're not winning this case, buddy.
-
I wasn't trying anything. Honest!
-
This is a strange movie to say the least.
-
Howard the Duck notoriously opens
with 2 instances of
-
full frontal duck booba
in the span of 30 seconds.
-
But the rest of the movie is this whiplash
-
between what's a squeaky clean
full house type family movie
-
that no one older than the age of
3 years old would find funny
-
followed by things like
Marty McFly's mom showing off her ass and
-
pulling out a condom for Howard's corkscrew.
-
Howard…
-
It's like anti-matter Shrek where
they didn't know
-
how to mix adult humor
and a kids' flick properly yet
-
so it becomes this overly long
bland comedy
-
with hardly any intentional laughs
-
that just happens to throw in something
totally obscene every now and then
-
- [Howard] Oh!
- I just can't resist your
-
intense animal magnetism.
-
uhh there's a lot of uhh attempts at duck puns,
-
most are just replacing
a random phrase in a word with "duck"
-
"That's it. No more Mr. Nice Duck."
-
Even the director's name is Willard Hyuck.
-
That's a duck name.
-
That's a name you give a duck.
-
The first half of the movie has Howard
pointlessly meandering
-
there's no funny interactions or
observations or memorable bits
-
it's just an aimless movie
with the guy in the duck suit.
-
You have an entire portion of the movie
-
where Howard has a job
as a towel boy in like a sex club
-
it's fun for the whole family!
-
Yeah, Breeders, what the hell.
-
Bareback bestiality and pedophilia.
-
Oh yeah, we find Howard getting launched to earth
as a result of a quack mace incident.
-
which also leads to Palpatine
somehow returning from the dead
-
and possessing the body of that one actor
that's in every 80s movie
-
who would later go on to be
arrested for being a sex pervert.
-
What do you think he would like to eat?
-
I no longer need human food.
-
[Junko] I need little boy butts.
-
You have a movie where
a talking duck fires a giant laser
-
at a hell portal to stop
a horde of alien warlords
-
from taking over the Earth
-
and they still manage
to make it a total snooze fest
-
They try to give Howard a bit of edge
-
but he still feels
too kiddy and sanitized
-
for what they're going for
-
And part of that is also his design.
-
He looks like a cross
of a Furby and MacCulkin.
-
There were some things I did like,
-
like these alien overlords are pretty cool
-
their design and the stop motion
is really well done.
-
and the sequence where
Howard gets shot into space
-
is pretty neat, pretty
impressive to look at.
-
I like this sequence where Howard
and Andy Dufresne get a 6 star wanted level
-
and start flying away from all the cops
-
that was good.
-
Yeah, Tim Robins is in this
-
Imagine having what's considered
one of the best movies of all time
-
as part of your portfolio
-
and on the other end of the
spectrum, Howard the Duck,
-
now that's range
-
Genuinely I was taken aback
because some of the shots in this movie
-
undeniably do go hard. I feel like
-
There's a version of this movie that
could've actually been good with less work
-
like if they leaned into Howard being this
cynical, perverted wise-quacking duck
-
that's down on his luck,
who gets thrust into Earth
-
and finds this strange new realm
-
actually isn't so much different from his own.
-
and then it's all about the bills,
baby, put it on my belt
-
He could take it as an
opportunity for a fresh start,
-
slowly climbing his way up the corporate ladder
-
until becoming a national celebrity
-
that gets caught up in 80s
consumerism and greed
-
and then maybe having him begrudgingly
involved in weird sci-fi fantasy stuff
-
like the comics, I dunno.
-
I'm not sure how to defend my client.
-
Give him the chair.
-
(Howard screams)
-
(Evasive laughing)
-
Alright, I may not have been
able to defend Howard,
-
but know this: from this day forth,
I will ensure every client of mine
-
is proven innocent.
-
Now for my next client,
I will be defending one Bill Cos-.
-
Bill Co-Bill Cosby.
-
Bill Co-Bill Cosby.
-
I-I'm good. Your Honor? i with-I withdrawal.
-
I withdrawal your honor. I'm good. We're done here. We're done.
-
It's Leonard, part 6.
-
Ask anyone who's seen
this movie, they'll tell you
-
that's when they first knew
lil' Bill was a real piece of shit
-
I got to say when I first heard there was a
comedy movie that just started on part 6
-
I thought hey, that's kind funny, maybe this movie
could be bad in a good way, at the very least
-
Nope, it's just bad,
it's boring, it's so boring.
-
If there's one thing Cosby
was always a master at
-
it's making people very sleepy.
-
The whole thing is supposed to be
a spoof on the spy genre, sort of like
-
like Naked Gun, except it actually
came out a year before that movie
-
They really just had the cameras rolling
and had Bill Cosby do whatever he wanted
-
There's a bunch of weird sex shit
-
I mean the clues are all there,
-
in the movie his wife divorced him
because he slept with a 19 year old
-
and his daughter is dating a much older man
to further her career as an actress
-
so then Leonard has to see her
flash her tits on stage
-
for no reason, none of these scenes
add anything to the movie
-
I think Cosby just wanted to
look at some young girl tits
-
The whole film has this weird
lethargic and slow energy to it
-
Everything from the dialogue
to the editing,
-
it's like watching a movie at 0.5 speed.
-
The movie opens with
Leonard and an assassin
-
having a shootout in a kitchen
-
The joke is that what they're doing
is actually helping prep some of the food
-
Ok, could be funny but the pace of it all
is so bizarrely off by a step
-
Every gag and bit is like this,
like they took something that was
-
maybe a 3 out of 10 joke at best
and spread it so thin that
-
you-you ask yourself,
-
Was there even
a joke at all to begin with?
-
The plot follows Leonard
being the best agent in the world
-
who's long been retired, until being
pulled back for one last mission
-
after a buncha animals under
mind control start killing people
-
yet again a god-awful 80s comedy starts
-
off with an animal looking at a porno mag.
-
Here's you two fucking nickels.
-
The first half is him just
stumbling around
-
trying to get back with his ex wife
-
who pours soup on him—
wh-what is this gag?
-
Is this a fetish, Mr. Cosby?
You think this was genuinely funny?
-
[mocking] We'll have him pour soup.
-
Cosby doesn't have a single
funny line or hook to his character
-
you can tell he's put
zero effort into any of this
-
It's almost like he said "Yeah I'll do the movie
but I don't wanna look too stupid,
-
don't make me look too stupid
-
most of these so-called jokes are what the most
boring uptight person in the world
-
would think being silly is.
-
[mocking] Oh, look, wow
he's being a ballerina, so girly.
-
Oh, wow, he's doing a silly fitness tape,
how can he subject himself to that.
-
oh, wee, you know what I mean?
-
it's like he thinks
these things are so beneath him
-
that just him doing it would be funny.
-
What a piece of shit.
-
y'know what really makes me mad, though?
-
It's completely unfair. Because everyone
else seems to be trying, but him.
-
there's a part In the end when Leonard
-
frees all the animals from captivity,
-
and I just wanna take this time to
recognize this bird right here.
-
Who in this 5 second shot, bends the bars
of his cage with his beak and breaks free
-
God bless this bird.
-
This bird right here put more effort
than Bill Cosby in his own movie.
-
This bird did not deserve to be
in one of the worst movies of all time.
-
None of these animals did.
-
This ostrich didn't deserve to be betrayed
-
with a sex criminal grinding
his pudding pop on its back.
-
if you think about it
-
If audiences in 1987 hated this,
watching it now,
-
with all the humor naturally diluted
even further through the passage of time
-
is like drinking a 40 year old
can of new coke
-
and when Bill's the one handing you the drink,
it's safe to say
-
you probably shouldn't drink it.
-
(gurgling)
-
Cocktail is a movie where young Tom Cruise
plays a bartender in Manhattan.
-
and then he movies to Jamaica
and falls in love with a girl.
-
but then he loses her and he moves back
to New York to win her back
-
and that's pretty much it.
-
What you see is what you get
with this one.
-
It's a really mediocre movie.
-
Not that good, but not that bad either.
-
Well except for this scene when
Tom Cruise stands on a bar
-
and reads his shitty poetry.
-
This is pretty cringey.
-
[tom cruise] I see America drinking
-
the fabulous cocktails I make.
-
crowd laughs
-
America's getting stinking
on something I stir or shake.
-
(laughing)
-
I make drinks so sweet and snazz-ay,
-
the iced tea, the kamikaze,
-
(hollering)
-
the sex on the beach
is Schnapps made from peach
-
the ball and hammer
the Alabama slammer!
-
Unsurprisingly with Tom Cruise starring,
this movie was a massive success,
-
earning a ridiculous 171 million dollars
on a 20 million dollar budget.
-
It's also the movie that the Beach Boys song
"Kokomo" song was written for.
-
Besides that, not much to talk about here.
-
I'm pretty sure it only won Worst Picture
because this was the same year
-
Rain Man was favored to win Best Picture.
-
and the voters must have thought it would be
funny to make the Best and Worst Picture
-
be Tom Cruise movies.
-
Ok, so, before making this video,
I hadn't watched any Star Trek at all.
-
But because I'm committed to my craft,
I went ahead and watched
-
all 6 of the original movies
-
just so I could understand why this one
is considered the worst.
-
and after all that, I—
-
Yeah. I get it now.
-
It's not a horrible movie but especially
compared to the previous films in the series,
-
Star Trek V is pretty bleh.
-
Pretty much everything went wrong
behind the scenes.
-
William Shatner directed it
with no prior directing experience.
-
Nobody could agree on anything
during the writing process,
-
There was a writers' strike.
-
Then a Teamsters strike.
-
They shot a lot of the movie
in the Mojave Desert,
-
which is just as miserable as it sounds.
-
and after filming was done, they only had
3 months to make the special effects,
-
and all the best effects technicians
in Hollywood were busy working on
-
Indiana Jones 3
and Ghostbusters II at the time.
-
Do I think this movie
deserved Worst Picture? No.
-
It does some wacky things like
introduce Spock's long-lost brother
-
that he never mentioned before
-
Or show Kirk getting mauled
by a cat woman.
-
but overall I really don't think it's that bad
-
Though to be honest
-
I'm not a Trekkie who had to see
-
Captain Kirk show up on the Enterprise
in a "Go climb a rock t-shirt"
-
So…
-
I mean…is that-is that bad?
-
I-I actually don't know.
-
Can someone in the comments tell me
if i'm, if that's like a bad,
-
if that's not in character?
-
I actually don't know if I
should be mad at this or not?
-
The Adventures of Ford Fairlane was a
-
"comedy" starring Andrew Dice Clay.
-
If you don't know who Andrew Dice Clay is,
-
he was a comedian most active
in the late 80s and early 90s
-
who was known for his character the Dice Man,
-
which was basically a cover for him to tell
the most offensive jokes he possibly could.
-
And they're always on parade.
-
They march up and down the street
with t-shirts and flags
-
'I want money for AIDS disease.'
Beautiful.
-
I want money for a new fucking car,
I ain't marching up and down the street
-
Get a job, butt slammer.
-
[Evasive] The movie itself
is about a detective, I guess,
-
I dunno, it's just not funny at all.
-
honestly I kept going to my phone the
whole time because I was just so bored.
-
- I got something serious to discuss.
-
Yeah, what is it, premature ejaculation?
(laughing)
-
like that time we were at her
parents' wedding anniversary,
-
and I told that joke,
-
'What's the definition of vagina?
-
The box the peanuts comes in!' (laugh)
-
Gilbert Godfrey plays
the only funny character in the movie
-
but he dies like 25 minutes in
and the rest is just a boring mess
-
that's impossible to follow.
-
The director Renny Harlin was also
working on Die Hard 2 at the time
-
which ended up coming out in theaters
at the exact same time as Ford Fairlane
-
and when you look at the money
comparison between the two movies.
-
Yeah, it's pretty obvious which movie
he cared about more.
-
Clint Eastwood.
-
I fucked him. Oh!
-
[Evasive] 1990 was another tie
-
with Ford Fairlane tieing
with another movie
-
from unapologetic
pepophile John Derek.
-
In this one, Bo Derek plays a woman
married to a much older man
-
and when the older man dies,
his ghost takes up residence in her head
-
and goads her into murdering a man
-
so he can possess his body
and have sex with her again.
-
It's a supernatural dirty old man movie
-
where John Derek fantasizes about
-
living rent-free in Bo Derek's head
after he dies.
-
Plus this ended up being his last movie.
-
It would be poetic
if it wasn't so disgusting.
-
Bo was very very young.
Linda was very young…
-
not as young as urcela
-
I guess I just meet them young,
-
before they're wise enough
to know I'm not the guy.
-
Anyway the acting is bad,
the story is bad,
-
the visuals are bad,
-
but the real cherry on top here is: this movie
-
was the first film appearance
of Donald Trump.
-
No joke, Trump's first movie
was made by a pedophile.
-
He even does a little duck face in it,
look at him.
-
Poetic.
-
Just watch this clip.
-
Woah!
-
Happy sailing..
-
Oh no! How am I driving?
1-800-I'm gonna-fucking-die!"
-
[Evasive] Bruce Willis plays
a master burglar fresh out of prison
-
who was blackmailed into stealing some art
-
but it's all part of a conspiracy
to build a secret machine
-
invented by Leonardo Da Vinci
that can turn lead into gold.
-
At this point in his career, Bruce Willis
was mainly known for Die Hard 1 and 2,
-
and was looking to branch out
with Hudson Hawk.
-
but apparently he couldn't decide
what he wanted it to be.
-
In an interview,
one of the writers later said:
-
I started to know we were in trouble
-
when Joel and Bruce
would say during filming
-
You know what this is?
This is a Pink Panther movie.
-
The next day they'd say
-
You know what this is? This is an
American James Bond movie.
-
Then it would be: you know what this is
This is North by Northwest.
-
I even remember someone saying:
-
You know what this is?
This is Casino Royale.
-
Eventually I realized, that if every day they
were saying it was something different
-
by the time we got to the editing room,
we were going to be in trouble.
-
So yeah, the final product
is all over the place.
-
But the movie has developed
a bit of a cult following over the years
-
just because it's so…so silly
-
(screaming)
-
- Honey?
- (screaming)
-
Ball ball?
-
Woof!
-
(dog screaming)
-
Here's another movie
that's really not that bad.
-
It's a World War II spy movie where
Melanie Griffith is a half Jewish woman
-
with no spy experience
who signs herself up to be a spy in Berlin
-
because she wants to prove herself and
save her Jewish cousins who are in hiding.
-
Michael Douglas plays another spy
-
and pre-Schindler's List
Liam Neeson plays a Nazi officer.
-
Most of the complaints about
the movie were aimed at
-
how unbelievable
Melanie Griffith is as a spy
-
because she is really bad at her job.
-
Like "spilling soup on Liam Neeson and
taking the German kids she's nannying
-
to the building her cousins are hiding in"
kind of bad
-
But overall it's not that awful of a movie
-
because the plot holes
and writing problems
-
are balanced out by a good soundtrack
and good cinematography
-
It's just average.
-
Not bad enough to be memorable
-
but not good enough
that you'd ever watch it again.
-
basically the cinematic equivalent
of eating at Denny's.
-
I think 1992 was just a slow year
for bad movies in general.
-
That same year they also
nominated Newsies for Worst Picture
-
and Danny DeVito for
Worst Supporting Actor
-
like…what? Why? How?
-
What?
-
Once again, this is a movie
that's not that bad.
-
It's a drama where
Woody Harrelson and Demi Moore
-
play a financially struggling
married couple in Vegas
-
and Robert Redford is a filthy rich guy
-
who offers the couple 1 million dollars
-
for a 1 night stand with Demi Moore.
-
Honestly, it's fine.
-
It takes itself very seriously
and it's vaguely misogynistic at points.
-
Also it's completely unbelievable that
a man who looks like Robert Redford
-
would ever feel the need to
pay a million dollars
-
to sleep with someone
-
But in the context of the movie it all works.
-
definitely not the
worst movie of the year.
-
that's for sure
-
I mean You're telling me that Indecent Proposal
-
won Worst Picture but Mr. Nanny
wasn't even nominated?
-
Razzie voters were asleep
at the wheel this year.
-
In this one Bruce Willis plays a
psychologist who can't see the color red
-
who gets wrapped up
in a murder after his colleague
-
gets killed Assassin's Creed-style
-
and he suspects it was someone
in his therapy group.
-
I'm so confused why this
was even nominated for Worst Picture
-
because it really isn't a bad movie at all.
-
It's surreal and weird, sure,
but in a Twin Peaks type of way
-
where it's still unsettling
and fun to watch.
-
Definitely a 6.5 out of 10 movie for me.
-
Maybe a 7 out of 10 I dunno.
-
this is another one that became a
cult hit after it was released on home video
-
Partly because of this crazy sex scene
in a pool that everybody wanted to see
-
It was even streaming
on Criterion Channel at one point
-
which basically means
that it's certified art.
-
That's all I have to say.
-
I dunno guys, some of these 90s movies
just aren't bad enough to complain about.
-
There's a lot to be said about Showgirls.
-
First of all, Director Paul Verhoeven
-
was the first to accept
his Razzie award in person.
-
And that's kind of funny.
-
[Paul] And I'm very happy
because it was much better, much more fun
-
than reading the reviews in September.
Thank you so much.
-
(clapping, cheering)
-
Second of all, Showgirls isn't bad.
-
It's actually a great movie,
in my opinion, and a lot of people agree.
-
It is a wild movie about the world of
high budget Las Vegas strip shows
-
and Obviously with subject matter like that
-
you're going to view it very differently
-
depending on your gender and sexuality.
-
But regardless of what kind
of person you are
-
the experience of watching this movie
is an absolute rollercoaster.
-
One. Two. Three.
-
Thrust it. Thrust it. thrust it. Thrust it!
-
Come on, thrust it.
-
But for as over the top as this movie is
it's also pretty true to life.
-
During his research,
writer Joe Eszterhas interviewed
-
over two hundred strippers in Las Vegas
-
and the result was a
shockingly straightforward depiction
-
of the lives of high profile
sex workers and performers
-
And a biting satire against
show business in general.
-
Take a look at these tits.
-
What are these, watermelons?
-
This is a stage, babe, it's not a patch.
-
See ya.
-
Your ears are sticking out. They are.
-
Come back and see me
when you get em fixed.
-
See ya.
-
Can you spell MGM backwards?
I bet you can't.
-
- MGM.
- I'm impressed.
-
Come back when you
fuck some of those baby fat off.
-
Now in today's era of gritty HBO dramas,
none of this is that shocking
-
but in 1995 this was next level stuff.
-
Plus with the subject matter,
this movie has a lot of nudity.
-
It was rated NC-17 in America
-
and to date it is the only NC-17 movie
ever given a wide release in theaters.
-
It was so explicit and controversial
-
that MGM had to hire security
at every movie theater in America
-
just to make sure nobody under
the age of 18 snuck into the theater.
-
The movie lost millions of dollars
-
and to this day, no studio has ever dared
-
to try and release an NC-17 movie
in theaters again.
-
If this sounds interesting to you,
I actually recommend giving this movie a watch
-
because I can't really do it justice
with just words alone.
-
Just know what you're getting
-
into before you turn it on
-
because this movie is every bit
as traumatic as it is glamorous
-
This movie is like if showgirls
-
was actually bad
-
Demi Moore plays an FBI agent
-
who looses her daughter in a custody battle
and becomes a stripper in florida
-
at a place called the eager beaver
-
to pay for a court appeal
-
she basically girl bosses
being a stripper
-
not in a nuance way
like showgirls though
-
but in a stupid way that
takes itself too seriously
-
and is mostly just boring
and not believable at all
-
despite the bad reviews the movie
ended up being a huge success
-
The director, writer, producer
Andrew Bergman
-
basically quit holly wood after this movie
-
I'm pretty sure what happened is once
he got Demi Moore to agree to go topless
-
he just phoned in the rest of the movie
because clearly the audiences
-
who went to see this
weren't watching it for the plot
-
The post man takes place
in a distant future year of 2013
-
after much of humanity has
been wiped out by the plague
-
Kevin Costner who also directed the movie
stars as a traveling shakespeare performer
-
that's conscripted to caesar's legion
but he escapes and finds an old mail bag
-
full of mail and pretends
to be a mail man so he can get food
-
and accidently restarts the
us postal service in the process
-
also it's almost 3 hours long
-
honestly as far as post apocalyptic
adventures go, this one isn't that bad
-
it's about the same level of quality
as water world actually
-
but the fact that it was a 3 hour long
kevin costner vanity project
-
released just a week after titanic
made it a very easy target for critiques
-
what is Kevin Costner up to
these days anyway
-
typing on computer
-
I mean hey, good luck Kevin
-
If you aren't familiar
-
The name Alan Smithee is a fake name the directors
guild of america came up with in 1968
-
that directors who wanted to take their
name off a movie, were required to use instead
-
and this movie caused such a headache
that the directors guild had to
-
officially stop allowing the use of the
Alan Smithee name in movies
-
OK, so, this movie was written by
Joe Eszterhas and directed by Arthur Hiller
-
It's a mockumentary about a guy
who's name is actually Alan Smithee
-
who directs an action movie
but he hates the finished product
-
so he steals the film reels
and holds them ransom
-
because he wasn't allowed to take
his name of it
-
now behind the scenes in real life
Joe Eszterhas was in charge of
-
cutting burn hollywood burn and when
Arthur Hillers saw the final version
-
he hated it so much he had
his name taken off the movie
-
but this of course created confusion
because this was a movie
-
about Alan Smithee and the poster
said it was directed by Alan Smithee
-
which you would assume was just a joke
but no, the director actually had his name
-
taken off the movie
-
it would take me so long to explain
everything that's wrong
-
with this movies so let me
just sum it up in four words
-
there is way too many characters
the movie jumps all over the place
-
Harvey weinstein is in it
-
eww sound effect
-
there's lots of not funny parts
where the camera freeze frames
-
and there's a wall
of text on screen
-
I'm guessing what happened is they
filmed all these scenes separately
-
and thought they were hilarious on set
but when they got to the editing room
-
they realized they had nothing to work with
so Joe Eszterhas tried to
-
salvage it by adding a bunch of
text edit jokes
-
which actually made the movie worse
-
I have no proof of this of course
but it seems right to me
-
I mean I'd probably do the
same thing in that situation
-
ok so this is a western steampunk
fusion movie starring the fresh prince
-
and the guy who plays Mr. Fish odor
in bob's burgers
-
as cowboy government agents hunt down
an evil ex confederate officer with no legs
-
who kidnapped president
Ulysses S Grant with a giant robot spider
-
that's what this movie is
-
this movie is ridiculous
-
I don't know what the executives at
warner brothers were snorting in the board room
-
when they decided to spend over $170
on a movie where cowboy Will Smith
-
fights a huge mecha-spider
-
but thank god they did because Will Smith
turned down playing Neo in the matrix to do this movie
-
and I want you to imagine now what it
would be like if Will Smith played Neo in the matrix
-
Evasive laughs
-
[Will Smith] I probably would have
messed the matrix up. I wouldv'e ruined it
-
so I did y'all a favor
-
this might not be a good movie but
oh my god it's so funny
-
plus the theme song is pretty fire
-
"if I may quote one of the great gangster rappers
William Will Smith
-
wicky wild wild wicky wicky wild
wicky wild wicky wicky wild wild wild west
-
wicky wild wicky wicky wild wild west
-
do you find those lyrics inspiring?
-
[person 1] I mean, I-I...
-
battlefield earth is an action sci-fi movie
based on a novel written by L. Ron Hubbard
-
the founder of scientology
-
which he wrote in 1982 when he
was in hiding to avoid going to prison
-
for his numerous crimes
-
It's about a distant future world
where humanity has been enslaved
-
by evil aliens called the Psychlos
which are a very obvious metaphor
-
for L. Ron Hubbard's vitriolic hate of psychiatrists
-
John Travolta who plays the evil
alien leader named Terl
-
and has been a scientologist since 1975
is directly responsible for this movie existing
-
the production company that took it on
was later found to have defrauded investers
-
out of $31 million by over reporting
production costs causing a law-suit
-
that forced the company to go bankrupt
and shut down in 2007
-
on top of that the movie was a massive
financial flop not just because the movie
-
and it's John Travolta action figures
were an obvious scientology recruitment tactic
-
but because the movie itself
was a visual nightmare
-
the special effects are ugly
the costumes are disgusting
-
and the whole movie was filmed
-
with these crooked angles that changed
multiple times a scene
-
which gave a bunch of people motion sickness
-
it's a realy infamously bad movie
that's been covered by dozens of
-
other youtube channels over the years
-
so if you want more information on it
go watch one of those videos
-
just don't watch the movie itself because
it will do nothing but make you nauseous
-
and waste 2 hours of your time
-
I'm serious you guys
don't do it
-
I'm sorry you guys
-
conflict of interest
-
I can't talk about Freddy got fingered
-
one of my friends and I watched this movie
like 4x during quarantine and we
-
kind of bonded over it
-
and now this movie has a special
place in my heart
-
so I made Nicky watch it instead
because shes never seen it before
-
and here she is now
-
[Nicky} where the hell do I even
begin with this movie
-
part of me thinks this movie is some kind
of deep anti comedy meant to saterize
-
the other gross out comedies that
were popular in the early 2000s
-
and the other part of me thinks that
maybe it means nothing at all
-
I mean any normal human being
will read a title like Freddy got fingered
-
and run away in the opposite direction
-
because what the fuck
is that suppose to mean
-
but to put it simply
this movie is about a 28yr old man
-
his name is Gord
and he moves to LA to be a cheese worker
-
and also to pursue his dreams
of being a professional animator
-
seems pretty simple right?
seems pretty cut and dry
-
but that's where you'd be wrong
because so very many things happen
-
in this movie that are beyond
human explanation
-
just to name a few
Tom Green jerks off a horse
-
he swings a baby around by it's
umbilical cord
-
Tom Green walks around in a deer carcass
and he goes scuba diving in his own toilet
-
[movie dialogue] get out of the toilet.
get out of that toilet!
-
but at the risk of sounding clinically
insane and demented
-
there are moments in this movie
that I find kind of relatable
-
like this one where the CEO of
an animation company tells
-
Gord that he doesn't like his drawings
-
"it sucks"
-
and so he immediatly sticks a gun
in his mouth and starts screaming
-
and what makes this even funnier
is the fact that once he recieves
-
validation, he takes the gun out of his mouth
and acts like none of that ever happened at all
-
if you're mentally ill and make art
this is the film for you
-
and this movie surprised me in so many
different ways for one, it made me laugh
-
way more than I anticipated
-
"can't you see we're both a couple
of stupid idiots
-
[female] Gord
[Gord] Gord, Gordy
-
and it was all so like weirdly based
at times and I say weirdly because
-
the early 2000s was just like a diragatory
fever dream
-
it was like running through
the perfume department in spongebob
-
but the perfume was slurs
-
so like Gord ends up asking out
this nurse named Betty
-
and she says yes but afterwards he finds
out that she's in a wheelchair and at first
-
I'm was like oh shit! like it's about to
get really ableist in here
-
I was truly prepared for the worst but
my expectations were completely subvirted
-
when Betty ended up not only being the
smartest person in this whole movie
-
but her and Gord remain in a relationship
for the rest of the film
-
"have a bag of jewels for you
they're jewels Betty, they're jewels"
-
another interesting thing to me is that
betty constantly wants to give Gord
-
a blow job. Hear me out dude
like, she actually asks him this
-
so many times in the movie that
it comes off as very obviously satirical
-
and again my expectations were subverted
by Gord being the one that repeatedly asks
-
if they can just go out on a date
-
This could be a play on the trope of
male protaganist in comedy especially
-
being obssesed with sex
and not only that but woman
-
being ultra sexualized in these movies
-
not all the subversion in this movie
is good though necessarily
-
I mean if you were wondering how
the movie got its title
-
I shit you not about 50mins into the film
-
Gord frames his dad
for fingering his brother
-
"at least I don't touch Freddy"
"he fingers him"
-
his brother who is like 25 and
doesn't even live with them
-
"he's a molester"
"he's a chiiiild molester"
-
but CPS literally goes to his apartment
and takes him to the molestation hospital
-
is this shocking? yes
-
I don't know if it's shocking
compared to the other
-
things that happen in this movie
-
is it in poor taste?
like, uhhhh, maybe
-
but anyways this whole framing of the
fingering is the cannon event
-
that leads to the finale of the film
-
when Gord pranks his dad by
abducting him in the middle of the night
-
and taking him to pakistan
-
"you're fucking dead"
-
they could write books and novels
and college thesis about everything
-
else that happens in-between
then and the ending
-
but just know that this movie ends with
Gord and his dad being covered
-
in elephant c**
-
speaking of which
-
there's an elephant in this room and
the elephant is that I actually kind of like this movie
-
also the elephant is cumming
-
is that so wrong?
and is it so wrong that maybe kind of
-
I might be attracted to Tom Green in this movie?
is it maybe ok if I think
-
he might be the Pete Davidson of the 90s
-
you know what, shut up
as far as career ruining films go
-
Tom Green took the failure of Freddie very
very well. He even showed up to accept
-
his golden razzie
he rolled out his own red carpet too
-
celebrate your successes and your failures
-
[evasive] a remake of an italian film
from 1974
-
swept away is a movie where Madonna
plays the dumbest most unlikable rich woman
-
in the world
-
who gets marooned on an island
with an italian sailor who hates her
-
and sexually assaults her.
And then 3 mins after that
-
there's a time skip and suddenly
they're in love
-
its a nasty nasty nasty movie
and I don't even want to talk about it
-
it was so bad it caused Madonna
to give up on acting entirely
-
it's a disaster.
Absolute agony to watch
-
especially when you consider that the movie
was directed by Madonna's then husband Guy Ritchie
-
Madonna later divorced Guy Ritchie in 2008
but in my opinion queen should've
-
divorced Guy Ritchie on the spot for
even suggesting this movie
-
[Madonna] it was rough. There was nothing
glamorous about it and you were really mean to me
-
[Guy] Mrs. Ritchie
[Madonna] I just want to slap you on camera
-
[Guy] but why Mrs. Ritchie
-
[Madonna] for all those times you let adriano
slap me and you never yelled cut
-
and all those times they threw octopuses on me
and all those times you made me sit
-
in the freezing cold ice water
and those times you made me run
-
down the sand dune and all those
times you ate my food and you didn't pay me
-
and you never said thank you
-
Madonna cries and leaves
-
I'm not going to lie
-
I was riding the high of actually
enjoying Freddie got fingered
-
when Gigli came in and literally snuffed
the life out of me
-
Gigle is a movie
-
it's about a mobster names Gigli
played by Benjamin, Benny boy Affleck
-
and much like this review on letter box,
I too hope Gigli killed himself
-
because not only does he abduct a
mentally challenged teenager
-
and abuse him while holding him for ransom
-
he's also just cringe
unforgivably so
-
Jaylo was also in this movie unfortunately
-
and she plays this other mobster
or mobsteret
-
who is suppose to help him
take care of this mentally disabled kid
-
and she also just happens to be a lesbian
-
or should I say the least convincing
lesbian in film history
-
no lesbians were consulted in
the making of this movie
-
because what the fuck is this
-
you may not be able to tell because this
is the weirdest way
-
i've ever heard anyone describe it
but she's talking about eating pussy here
-
I really don't know who like told Jaylo
or whoever wrote this script that
-
lesbians call that turkey time
but whoever it was
-
deserves to be taken out
behind a barn and shot
-
anyways though of course Gigli
doesn't respect her sexuality
-
and he whines and complains
throughout the whole movie
-
about oooh, it's not fair that she's like
a lesbian but i'm like attracted to her
-
and I want to be with her
-
and after enough complaining ricky
starts doing deeds with him
-
and its not like this is realistic
at all in any way
-
but in the hypothetical scenario where
for some reason a lesbian had sex
-
with a guy. It would not be with this guy
-
he's always like licking
his teeth and shit
-
but luckily there's not just
lesbian cringe
-
there's also plenty of
hetero sexual cringe
-
and gay cringe
-
and despite this movie literally
being about mobsters
-
nothing mobster related really happens
in this movie
-
until like the last 30 mins where for some
reason Al Pacino is here
-
I'm sure this is Al Pocinos favorite
role of all time
-
right up there next to jack and jill
-
but to give it to you straight
-
the movie ends with Gigli leaving
the mentally disabled kid
-
on a random beach
with a cast of baywatch
-
and it's literally played out like its
suppose to be this inspirational thing
-
like a tear jerker or something
-
meanwhile Gigli and Ricky
ride off into the sunset
-
just as she's telling him that he should
wear some makeup
-
do not watch this movie
-
you will get a UTI
or that other thing
-
[evasive] ok first of all this movie is
catwoman in name only
-
despite being a DC comics movie
the catwoman in this movie
-
has pretty much nothing to do with the
catwoman from batman
-
this character has a different name
lives in a different city
-
and gets her cat super powers from a magic
cat burping in her mouth
-
it's just so stupid
it's actually really fun to watch
-
especially the CGI Halle Berry during the
action scenes it's so funny
-
as you might expect this movie bombed hard
probably because they put it out in
-
theaters around the same time as
spider man 2
-
its a pretty infamous
superhero movie now
-
and the director Pitof was basically
laughed out of hollywood
-
never directed a movie again
-
but Halle Berry embraced
this movie was a flop
-
and she even showed up in person
to accept her Razzie award
-
dirty love is a
-
"comedy"
-
created by Melissa McCarthy's cousin
-
notorious anti vaccer and masked
singer judge Jenny McCarthy
-
she stars as a woman who gets dumped
by her boyfriend and her life falls apart
-
its really unhinged but not in a funny
kind of way
-
more of a i'm bored and uncomfortable
and I want to leave the room kind of way
-
I actually had a hard time finding
clips from this movie online
-
because its pretty obscure
and nobody likes it
-
its mostly badly delivered jokes
and gross out humor with a feminine spin
-
and by feminine spin I of course mean
period jokes like this scene where a
-
bleeding Jenny McCarthy goes to the
grocery store in a white skirt
-
and no underwear
and almost bleeds out on the floor
-
you know, relatable comedy for women
-
just girly thing
#justgirlythings
-
just girly things
-
it's a girly thing so you wouldn't
understand boys
-
it's a girly thing
-
#justgirlythings
it's a girly thing
-
it's a girly thing
#justgirlythings
-
so this is a sequel to basic instincts
-
an erotic murder mystery thriller
from the early 90s
-
its maybe best remembered today for the
scene where newman from Seinfeld
-
sees Sharon Stones' bare uncensored tits
in an interrogation room
-
the original was nominated for a few
razzies in its day but it was a
-
massive box office hit
-
and is today remembered as a pretty solid
Neo Noir thriller
-
now basic instinct 2 on the other hand
only exists because Sharon Stone
-
was promised $14 million
to star in the movie
-
and when the producers tried to cancel it
she sued them to force them to make it
-
its kind of hard to talk about this movie
without spoiling a bit of the original
-
but I will say that overall
I didn't hate this movie
-
but I also barely remember anything about
the plot and I only saw it a couple months ago
-
it rehashes a lot of the same story, beats
and plot points as the original
-
just not as good
-
would I call it a terrible movie?
no, not really
-
but compared to the original
its pretty bland and forgettable
-
but that's what happens when your
only reason for
-
making a movie is to
avoid a massive lawsuit
-
got to love showbiz baby
-
I know who killed me is a horror
movie starring Lindsay Lohan as a girl
-
who was kidnapped
by a serial killer
-
but survives and wakes up in a hospital
saying shes someone else
-
this movie was released on july 27, 2007
right at the peak of the tabloid frenzy
-
about Lindsay Lohan and her struggles
with alcohol and drug addiction
-
there was a lot of attention on the movie
while it was filming
-
especially because Lohan checked into
rehab the first time a month into production
-
the film set was so swarmed with paparazzi
that some of them even showed up in
-
the background of a few
shots in the movie
-
then a couple months after filming wrapped
Lohan was arrested for drunk driving
-
then on July 24th, just 3 days before
the movie was released
-
Lohan was arrested for drunk driving again
and couldn't even attend the premier
-
all of this negative media attention
made Lindsay Lohan enemy #1 in hollywood
-
critics eviscerated this movie
-
but in the years since its release
this film has become a bit of a
-
cult classic with horror movie fans
-
and its been screened in theaters many
times over the last decade
-
ive seen a lot of people in line compared
to giallo movies, an itallian film genre
-
popular in the 60s and 70s that mixed elements
of murder mysteries, slashers, and erotica
-
the influence of giallo is definitely
present here
-
its a stylish weird thriller and Lohans background
made her kind of perfect for the role
-
as the main character quickly transforms from
a sweet highschool girl
-
into a deeply traumatized woman
with a robotic hand
-
its definitely not for everyone
myself included
-
but if you're into weird gory horror
movies there's a lot to vibe with here
-
its a much better movie than norbit
that's for sure
-
I mean have you ever seen norbit
-
the love guru is a movie written by,
produced by, and starring Mike Meyers
-
that's mostly remembered today as the movie
that completely tanked his career
-
and caused him to step away from hollywood
for 8 years
-
critics and audiences both hated it
-
with critics calling it lazy, immature,
mindless, pitiable, insulting, painful
-
gross, contemptuous, racist, and unlikable
among many other things
-
but don't take their word for it
take my word for it
-
I don't really have any other words for it
that pretty much sums it up
-
anyway here's a scene that they
used in the trailer
-
ohhh, how did you get there?
-
this little guy scared the crap
out of me
-
think i'm going to have to do a panty
check, I might have some
-
monkey monsters back there
-
who is this prick
-
well, how do you do, shrimp?
-
what'd you call me
-
im sorry, i didn't catch your gnome
name!
-
you are a midget
-
so the plot of this movie is Mike Meyers
plays this self help guru
-
named maurice Pitka
who was raised in india
-
wears a chastity belt and dreams
of being on Oprah
-
he's hired by the Toronto maple leafs
to help their star player
-
get back together with his wife
-
because he is the love guru therefore
only he can save their marriage
-
its basically a one note movie
that feels like it was written by a 10yr old boy
-
every scene goes on for way too long
-
Mike Meyers keeps laughing at his own jokes
and pretty much every line is about
-
poop, pee, farts, balls or dicks
-
with many of the characters names being dick jokes
-
we got tugginmypudha, coach cherkov, Le Coq
dick pants
-
starts laughing
-
its not funny that John Olivers
named Dick Pants
-
starts laughing again
its not...
-
Ok, ill be the first to say that
I don't think any of the transformers movies
-
are particularly good
-
that being said, transformers
revenge of the fallen is definitely
-
the worst one
-
if only for how offensive and annoying
it is
-
pretty much every transformer introduced in
this movie either talks with a racist accent
-
or the most annoying cartoon voice imaginable
and when it isn't being annoying or racist
-
its doing shit like this
-
sighs deeply
-
like is it any wonder
Megan Fox quit the series after this
-
sadly though this movie ended up making
$836 million which was about
-
$100 million more than up made
that same year
-
what can I even say about this movie
that hasn't been said a thousand times already
-
this live action trash fire
directed by M Night Shyamalan
-
attempted to condense the first season
of an amazing animated tv show
-
into a 90 min CGI filled mess
-
maybe if you watched this never having
seen the original series it's just another
-
lame hollywood fantasy action movie but for fans
of the series this was offensively bad
-
the creators of the show were not allowed
to give any input on the movies development
-
but loving characters were made
one dimensional and pointless
-
major plot points were skipped over
characters names are pronounced wrong
-
like how do you even screw that up
-
this movie made a lot of money
but it was so hated by audiences
-
that paramount must have known they couldn't
fool people twice and cancelled plans
-
to adapt the other two seasons
-
effectively sinking the career of the kid
who played Aang before it even began
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it's just sad
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the whole movie is a sad waste of source material
you'd probably have a better time playing the
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official last airbender Wii game then you
would watching this movie
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ok maybe not
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somber music playing
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alright razzies
respectfully, what the fuck
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I wouldn't call myself a twilight fan
i've never read the books and didn't watch
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the movies until recently but even I know
the last movie of the twilight series isn't
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that bad a movie
-
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its ridiculous sure but out of all the movies
in the series it's definitely the most exciting and entry
-
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aside from the first one
-
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obviously they gave it worst picture to
sort of dig at the entire series
-
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since none of the others have won worst
picture before but come on
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breaking dawn part 2 is fun
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its got a big fight scene on a frozen lake
its got a girl named renesmee
-
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it concludes one of the most iconic
and stupid blockbuster movie series of all time
-
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it is so entertaining and over the top that
even if you hate twilight and everything about it
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you cant tell me that this movie is worst
than the Adam Sandler movie where
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he shows a 13yr old impregnating his teacher
-
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you can't tell me that
-
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because you'd be wrong
-
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let me start this one off by showing
you a list of people who were involved in this movie
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and that's not even all of them
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movie 43 is a compilation of raunchy
comedy sketches
-
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each directed by different people
-
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made by an impossibly cheap budget of
$63 million
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this thing took 3 whole years to film
because thew producers worked around
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actors schedules to maximize how many
famous people could show up in this
-
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the sketches themselves are a relentless
onslaught of dirty shock humor
-
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there's one where Hugh Jackman has balls
on his face
-
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there's one where Chloe Grace Moretz
smears period blood on the wall
-
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there's one where a horny cat pisses on
elizabeth banks
-
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there's one where Karen Culkin says he wants
to leave a hickey on Emma Stones' vagina
-
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my personal favorite is where Anna Faris asks
Chris Prat to poop on her
-
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during sex so he takes some poop viagra
and then gets hit by a car
-
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if you're feeling sadistic throw this on
at your next bad movie night with friends
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its got a little something for everyone
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so if you're unfamiliar
Kirk Cameron was a child actor in the 80s
-
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who took a hard right turn into
evangelical christianity
-
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and has since appeared in almost exclusively
low budget christian movies and radio programs
-
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today he is mostly know for his inflammatory
publicity stunts
-
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like in 2020 when he organized massive caroling
events in LA to protest covid restrictions
-
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which he called communism disguised as
public health
-
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you know the type
he's a nutcase
-
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and his movie had been dumped on
a hundred times by youtubers already
-
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because for awhile this was the lowest
rated movie in IMDB
-
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with an average rating of 1.3/10
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which he claimed was a result of
an atheist conspiracy on reddit
-
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basically the whole movie takes place
in one house
-
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and almost every scene is him using
weird circular reasoning to explain
-
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how non christian christmas traditions had
actually been christian all along
-
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like how christmas trees were gods idea
because god created trees
-
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or how the holiday isn't actually materialistic
because the ability to buy gifts
-
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is gods gift to humanity
-
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it's just boring
-
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it's a very boring movie where nothing
happens and everyone is just sitting
-
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or standing around not doing anything
-
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the only remotely entertaining part of the
whole movie is when all the extras
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have an epic dance party at the end of the movie
-
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fan 4 stic is a classic case of too
many people having their hands on the same movie
-
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the writers disagree on everything
-
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the director Josh Tranks slept with a loaded
on him because he got death threats
-
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for casting Michael B Jordan
-
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fox executives had whole scenes cut out and
other scenes re-shot without Tranks
-
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approval because they thought his version
was too dark
-
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Trank also put out a tweet right before
the movie came out basically disowning it
-
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the end result of all of this was an ugly
boring mess of a movie
-
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where there's no real stakes or tension anywhere
-
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they don't even become superheros until
halfway through the movie
-
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and most of the time they're just standing
around talking and not doing anything
-
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you can see the remnants of a decent movie here
-
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like in the scene where Miles Teller
wakes up on a hospital bed
-
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looking like Lanky Kong
-
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but well never know what the movie was
suppose to be because nobody cares
-
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there's nobody out there saying
#releasethetrankcut
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so 2015 was another tie with 50 shades
of grey also being awarded worst picture
-
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this is another movie where im like
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what can I possibly say about this
that hasn't been said already
-
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its based on an erotic novel that started
off as a twilight fan fiction
-
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the stars have no chemistry and nothing
about their relationship is believable
-
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the movie spawned that
love me like you do song
-
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that has haunted retail workers for
almost a decade now
-
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it's just a bad movie
it's boring and bad
-
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and it made over $500 million
-
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so rather than repeat the same things a
hundred other youtubers have said
-
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i'll just leave you with a little mental image
-
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see this movie came out on valentines day 2015
-
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I want you to imagine for a second all the
thousand of couples that went to go see this
-
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on valentines day
-
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I want you to visualize Kaylyynn and Greg
from sugar land texas who went
-
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to go see this at the local AMC
on valentines day
-
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I want you to visualize Kaylyynn giving Greg
a dry handjob at the back of the theatre
-
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40 mins into the movie
-
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I want you to visualize them going to
applebees after
-
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to eat a slightly burnt chicken breast and
some unseasoned broccoli
-
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I want you to visualize
-
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if you don't know already Dinesh D'Souza
is a far right political commentator
-
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who has been releasing propaganda films
every year since 2012
-
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he also pleaded guilty to campaign
finance fraud in 2014
-
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and was sentenced 5 years probation
during which he made Hillary's america
-
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the secret history of the democratic party
-
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released in the summer of 2015
hillarys americas a movie that claims
-
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its a documentary but aside from a few
news clips and scripted sounding interviews
-
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much of the movie is either historical
reenactments or just Souza talking to
-
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terrible actors trying to pass it off as
documentary footage
-
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the movie opens with D' Souza being
sentenced with fraud
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which eh claims was a democratic
conspiracy to shut him up
-
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and from there he goes to prison and
interviewing other prisoners about how
-
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gangs work
-
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later on he visits the democrat national
head quarters that is all done up to look
-
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like a high tech museum of the glory of
the democratic party
-
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and then he sneaks into the restricted
part of the building
-
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and breaks into the secret archives to
reveal the secret information
-
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that is literally just in the curriculum
in the 8th US history
-
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like hey guys, did you know that most of the
slave owners in the civil war were democrats
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wow isn't that crazy?
how come no ones talking about this
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the sad truth is this movie sold
$13 million worth of tickets when it came out
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which means that hundreds of thousands of
very gullible americans saw this in theatres
-
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and many probably dragged their very
impressionable kids with them
-
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when all those kids wanted to do was play
the new pokemon go game that just came out
-
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its depressing to think about
2016 was a very dark time
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hey guys
im sorry
-
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I can't talk about the emoji movie
-
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you see, on a hot summer day in 2017
I actually saw the emoji movie in theatres
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in a room full of screaming sugar
up'd children
-
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and if you think this movie looks bad
enough on its own
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try watching it completely sober while a 7yr
old kicks the back of your chair the whole time
-
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I just can't relive the trauma of that day
again so I passed this one off to trash guy
-
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[trash guy] young junko
he was the best lawyer that ever lived
-
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but decidingly the hammer of justice
made him his walnut
-
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and under the pressure he cracked
-
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by his side he had only left this note
-
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sad face, sad face, cry face, trash can,
water gun, squirt, squirt, sad face
-
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*watch The Emoji Movie in theaters
July 28 2017 for more info
-
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Emoji movie is like the cinematic equivalent
of seeing an AD for Cricket wireless on
the side of a bus
-
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it's the same artistic merit
-
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its hard to not look at this movie without
thinking of the evolution of 3D animation
-
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as a craft in the last 4 years
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the way that the medium improved over time
not just in terms of vitality
-
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but the heart felt boundary pushing
storytelling that made animated characters
-
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come across as more tangible
-
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in exploring the worlds they inhabited
in a serel way
-
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and all that, all that led to this
a movie about emojis
-
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on a kids cellphone
its so in personable
-
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its not like toy story where Andy
and the toy have a clear relationship
-
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in emoji land you get scanned whenever the
kid picks you for a text message
-
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like why is this kid only texting in emojis
-
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he's like a little, a little man slut
-
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the whole plot being he wants to text
a girl in his class and that's it
-
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that's it. He has no connection between
these main essential characters
-
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they're just a button on his phone
its so pointless
-
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the worlds not so interesting at all
-
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the main character gene is suppose to be
the meh emoji but he's malfunctioning
-
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so he goes on a quest with hand emoji
and jailbreak
-
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an elite emo hacker emoji with blue hair
who can access the cloud and
-
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see all the rule 34 of herself over the years
-
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its a movie made specifically for loud
drunk parents circuit 2017 to take
-
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their ipad kids to so they can run around
the theatre and pick their ass
-
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while they shove a bunch of ads at
their eyeballs
-
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you got whole scenes explaining
candy crush and justs dane
-
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and spotify. its as shameless in corporate
as an animated movie could possibly be
-
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i'm sure some belligerently wasted
parent in the theatre howled with laughter
-
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when james corden hand emoji said
bye Felisha
-
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I wouldn't know though because the first
time I saw emoji movie was at 2am
-
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when I hacked amazon fire stick plugable
into my friends CRT
-
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that's just about the viewing experience
this movie deserves
-
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[evasive] but hey for as much as a soulless
cash grab the emoji movie was
-
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there was one good thing about it
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and that's that it is inadvertently responsible
for causing jordan peele to make get out
-
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holmes and watson was the much
anticipated reunion between
-
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John C Reilly and Will Ferrell a duo that
starred in smash hit comedies in the mid 2000s
-
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so when this movie released to atrocious reviews
it left some people scratching their head
-
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wondering how two guys who worked so
well together before
-
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could fuck up a movie this bad
-
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and trust me no matter what your sense of
humor is this movie is bad
-
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its not funny at all. not even a little bit
its just boring and hard to watch
-
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the plots is impossible to follow
the jokes fall flat on their face
-
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and some of them were already dated
by the time the movie came out
-
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compared to teledated nights and step brothers
-
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everything about their delivery here just
feels off
-
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and the blame probably rests with
writer/ director Etan Cohen
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not to be confused with
Etan coen, no
-
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Etan Coen is a writer that built a pretty
decent resume in the 90s
-
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and 200s and decided to branch out into
directing with get hard in 2015
-
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holmes and watson was his 2nd attempt at
directing and possibly his last because
-
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the movie just barely didn't break even and
since its release coen seems to have
-
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returned exclusively to writing
-
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my theory is the man didn't know how to
direct Will Ferrell and John C Reilly
-
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I think he just got them together and
assumed their chemistry would be enough
-
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to carry the movie because the whole thing
just feels like he dressed them up in
-
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victorian era cloths and said
just do whatever you want
-
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we will edit it down to just the funny parts
-
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and then surprise not of it was funny
-
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cats is a hilarious movie
-
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it is so funny for all the wrong reasons
I saw this in theatres when it came out
-
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after rating a couple of very powerful
weed gummies and it is
-
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an experience I will remember for the
rest of my life
-
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its unlike any other movie ever made
it really is
-
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released at the tail end of 2019
cats was an act of pure huberous
-
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from director Tom Hooper who was well
known in hollywood for directing
-
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the kings speech, les miserables, and
the danish girl
-
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while I guess tommy boy got pretty full
of himself after all those award winners
-
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because for his next project he proceeded
to blow $100 million on a film adaptation
-
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of cats the musical
-
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behind the scenes hooper rushed the movie
out the door to release in time for christmas
-
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and in the process treated the animators
like complete shit
-
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anonymous sources later reported that
hooper knew nothing about animation
-
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made them work 90 hour weeks for months
and was horrible, disrespectful, demeaning
-
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and condescending toward everyone
-
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one source said that hooper talked about
the animators like they were garbage and
-
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even compared their time working on cats
to slavery
-
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its been a few years now since cats
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released and Tom Hooper hasn't been heard
from since
-
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so I think its safe to assume those
allegations were completely true
-
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and he wont be making a comeback
anytime soon
-
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anyway I just wanted to play you a song
from the movie but youtube will probably
-
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demonetize me if I did that so instead i'm
going to play you a
-
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public service announcement from the 80s
-
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so absolute proof is not a movie
-
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for the first time in razzie history the
razzies gave worst picture to something
-
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that was not a movie
-
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this is a 2 hour long special that aired
on one american news in February 2021
-
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where Mike Lindell the my pillow
guy bought air time to prove that
-
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2020 election was hacked by china
using statistics that were proven
-
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to be fake and interviewing experts
that don't have any real credentials
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this special was also uploaded on youtube
but was quickly taken down for spreading
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false information. I was hoping it would
be at least unintentionally funny
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but it was just really boring to watch
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its mostly the my pillow guy saying
"wow"
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talking about voting data that was given
to him by a fraudster
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at one point he brings on a guy who claims
he invented email
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I don't know, I don't have
anything to say about this one
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it's not a movie
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so this is also not a movie
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Diana the musical is a broadway show
that was planned to open March 31, 2020
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obviously that didn't pan out but in
the summer of 2020 they were able to get
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the cast together to make a recording of
the show with heavy covid restrictions
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and no audience of course. Then for some
bizarre reason they decided to release that
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recording on netflix on october 2021
A whole month before the show
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re opened on broadway. obviously this was
the dumbest possible thing they could
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have done because why would anyone who
isn't a hardcore house winser fan
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pay over $100 for a broadway ticket to
this cringe fest when they could
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watch the cringe fest for free at home
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this show was a complete flop
performing to a half full theater
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every night for a month until the
producers put the show out of its misery
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and cancelled it on december 19
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even if it hadn't been dumped on netflix
before it opened it still probably would've
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flopped because it's still every bit
tone deaf as the title suggest
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the lyrics are like a 14yr old girl
saw hamilton and newsies a few times
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and was like OH MY GOD
I can do that too
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except it wasn't written by a 14yr old girl
it was written by a tony award winning
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play write in his 50s
here's just an example of some of
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the lyrics that this show throws at you
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directed by eccentric author Andrew Dominik
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blonde is the most recent worst picture
winner as the time I made this video
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and probably the most controversial winner
since showgirls
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its a nearly 3hr long mt-17 rated movie
about the life of Marilyn Monroe
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that takes extreme liberties with her
life story because it's actually based on
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a historical fiction novel by Joyce Carol
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the reviews on this thing were all over
the place.
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when it premiered at the venice film
festival it received a 14 min long
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standing ovation and early critic reviews
were extremely positive
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then it released on netflix a few weeks
later and the drama started
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on the positive end the movie got
praised for its stunning cinematography
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and for ana de armas performance as monroe
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on the negative end the movie was criticized
for being exploitative, sexist and
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dehumanizing and for brutally depicting
Marilyn Monroe as a helpless girl
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relentlessly abused by the hollywood system
when her real life story was much more
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complicated than that and it certainly
doesn't help that Andrew Dominik
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doubled down on it after the films
release saying
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[evasive reading]
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I don't know about you guys
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I could speak on this movie more but
i don't want to
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this is the last movie on this list
and im tapping out
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and I don't want to see any of you in
the comments saying
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"ugh, ava tapping out"
"avan not giving her real opinion"
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"you're being evasive, you cant do that"
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thank god this is over
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my eyeballs and my brain are absolutely
fried right now
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i don't have a single thought left in my head
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but let me go ahead and summarize my
thoughts by sorting all these movies
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into 4 categories
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these categories are boring bad, funny bad
not that bad and crimes against humanity
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and there we go
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I am evasive, thank you to my patreon
supporters.
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thank you to all of you
for watching
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and thank you so much for my guests to
contributing to this video
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and hey, razzie people, if you're watching
hi
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invite me to the show sometime maybe
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honestly i think you guys are a little
cringy and you've made some very
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questionable decisions in the past but like
i dont- I dont care
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in the meantime i'm going to do literally
anything else besides watching movies
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you know what i'm going to do
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i'm going to go look at some clouds
oooh, and touch grass
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ohhh, I cent remember the last
time I touched grass
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ok i'm going to go outside look at clouds
and touch grass
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ok, by guys