I Watched Every Razzie Worst Picture Winner (ft. ​Nikki Carreon & YungJunko)

What's up cinephiles,
I'm Evasive,

and this piece of paper right here
means two things:

Number one, I am tens of
thousands of

dollars in debt,

and number two, I know a lot
about movies.

and since the U.S government
isn't giving me any debt relief this year,

I have no choice now but to
torture myself on the Internet

for money to pay off the loans

I took out to go to film school.

So for this video, I watched every
movie that's ever won

a Razzie Award for Worst Picture
of the Year.

This was an extremely painful
experience

and I regretted my decision
immediately,

but for the sake of
my adoring fans

and my bank account,

I went ahead and watched
all 46 of these

movies so I could
explain them to you.

But after the grueling experience
of watching all these movies,

I'm not about to tackle this
breakdown alone.

So I went ahead and roped in
another video essay girly

and a talking trash can

to help explain some of these
movies for me.

But before I get to the movies,

let me explain what the Razzies are.

The Golden Raspberry Awards are
an annual event,

usually held the night before the Oscars,

to give out awards for the worst
movies of the year.

It was founded by Hollywood
copywriter

John Wilson and editor Maureen
Murphy.

The idea for the Razzies came
about in 1980

when Wilson saw Can't Stop
the Music and Xanadu, back to back

and hated them both so much, he thought
there ought to be an award show

for this type of thing.

Months later, Wilson hosted an

Oscars watch party at his house,

and after the Oscars had finished,

he and Murphy passed out ballots
to everyone at the party

to vote on the worst movies of the year,

and then he announced the
winners in his living room.

Over time, the ceremony
grew and grew,

and today they're considered a staple
of the Hollywood award season

as a low-budget Bizarro World
Oscars

that distributes awards in
categories

such as Worst Actor, Worst Director,

and Worst Screenplay.

Unlike the qualifications for voting
at the Oscars though,

becoming a Razzie voter
is very easy:

either be friends with
one of the producers

or just pay a $40 membership fee.

That's all it takes.

So that's the story of the Razzies.

Now are you ready to learn about
every single movie

that won Worst Picture?

Because I wasn't.

There's 46 of these things, so I'm
going to talk about each one

for just a minute or two

and hand off a few to my guests

so I don't completely lose my mind here.

Also, I put a content warning on a
bunch of these movies

because of the sensitive subject
matter I discuss.

Not trying to traumatize anybody
but myself in this video.

Well, me and my guests.

But I commissioned them for this,
so it-it's fine.

"Anybody who swallows two snowballs
and a ding-dong shouldn't"

"have trouble with pride."

The first movie to win Worst Picture was
Can't Stop The Music,

A movie about the "origins"
of the disco group Village People.

And I say origins in air-quotes because
the Village People play themselves

and the plot is completely made-up

and not at all how the Village People
actually formed

The movie itself is super campy
and full of these crazy musical numbers

that are unironically kinda great.

It's just too bad that in between
those musical numbers are these scenes

with really terrible acting
that go on for way too long.

[movie] -Wait a minute! I am not taking one
-more step 'til I know where I'm going.

-Yeah, quit my job, and you
-got me walking the beat again!

- I'm not even getting paid for it!
- Hold your horses.

-I told you I had a surprise for you.

-I hope so. I turned in my
-coin change with the toll booth.

its not that awful of a movie, but by 1980
the disco fad was pretty much over and

people loved to hate on
disco music at the time

so you can see why this
ended up being such a huge bomb.

Also, shockingly, this movie marks the
first film appearance of Caitlyn Jenner

and apparently the experience was so bad

she didn't appear in a movie again until
Jack & Jill in 2011.

And, uh, well.

Mommie Dearest is a "biopic"

about the life of actress Joan Crawford's
adopted daughter Christina.

and again, I say biopic in air-quotes
because the movie was based on

Christina Crawford's controversial memoir

that other members of Joan Crawford's
family disavowed when it came out.

I haven't done much research on the topic

so I'm in no position
to question this story.

But I will say that after
the movie was made

Christina said the film was grotesque
and not true to her memoir.

Released just 4 years after
Joan Crawford passed away,

this movie basically spits all over
her fresh grave

and portrays her as a horrible mother

who frequently, physically and emotionally
abused her daughter.

now whether or not this is actually true
is still a matter for debate of course.

Regardless of the real-life circumstances
behind the movie,

Faye Dunway's performance
of Joan Crawford is iconic now.

People who have unfortunately experienced
emotional abuse from a parent

found her performance
scarily true to their own life experiences

but general audiences thought
she was just being

outrageously campy and
over the top the whole movie.

Because of its reputation

the film accidentally
became a queer cult classic over the years

especially in the drag community.

and it was even featured in the most
recent season of RuPaul's Drag Race.

"No wire hangers!"

♫ No more wire hangers ♫
♫ Ah, ah! ♫

♫ No, no, wire hangers ♫
♫ No, no, no, no ♫

[Evasive] Inchon is a movie about
the battle of Incheon in the Korean War.

It was financed and produced
by the Unification Church,

a movement that was and still is
considered a dangerous cult

with a leader who called himself
the second coming of Jesus Christ.

The film's producer was
a very wealthy member of the church.

who said he was instructed by God
to make the film.

So, unsurprisingly, no investors wanted
any part of this.

and all 46 million dollars of the budget ended up
being provided by the church and its followers.

The film itself doesn't really have much
to do with the Unification Church.

It's a straightforward war movie that's
just boring and unremarkable.

It had some star power but only because
the actors in it were paid a lot of money.

with Laurence Olivier even admitting
before the movie was released

that he was only in it for the money.

It was such a flop that nobody even
bothered to release it on home media.

and the only available version
of the movie today

is from an old VHS rip from when it
played on Unification Church TV channel.

The only thing worth seeing in this movie
is Laurence Olivier's makeup job.

I mean he looks like the Joker.

This movie is just tasteless.

it's based on a novel by Harold Robbins

who was paid 600 000 dollars
for the film rights,

and apparently fell asleep
in the screening room,

and never actually watched the movie.

First of all, in the first 15 minutes,

young Ray Liotta,
in his first ever movie role,

sexually assaults the main character
with a garden hose.

and then after that the rest of the movie
is just her being forced to have sex

with gross older men
in order to get ahead in Hollywood.

And you see all of it.

It seems like it was trying to criticize
sexism in Hollywood

but instead of handling it with
any kind of nuance or respect

the movie fully shows the sex scenes

and does the very thing
it's trying to critique.

The final scene in the movie shows
her winning an Oscar for Best Screenplay

and calling out the men
who took advantage of her

in her acceptance speech.

and then she's booed off stage, and leaves,
and the movie just ends there.

It's really uncomfortable to watch.

But somehow the next movie is even worse.

Ugh, god, ok. soo..

Bolero is a movie by John Derek.

John Derek is—
(groan)

John Derek was an old Hollywood actor

who appeared in supporting roles in
several big movies in the 1940s and 50s.

In 1973 when Derek was 47 years old,

he traveled to Europe to direct
a low-budget movie called

"Once upon a Love" starring
a 16 year old girl named

"Mary Cathleen Collins".

During the production—
(retching)

I'm sorry. I'm so sorry

During the production,
John Derek left his wife

and groomed Mary Collins
into a sexual relationship,

With the two staying in Europe
until she turned 18

so he could avoid
statutory rape charges.

When they got married a few years later,
she changed her name to Bo Derek

and proceeded to star in all of his movies
until he died in 1998.

(retching)
(vomit squelching)

I'm sorry.

So anyway, Bolero was a movie
about a young woman fresh from college

who travels to Morocco in Spain
to lose her virginity.

and If that wasn't bad enough,

this movie features a full-frontal
nudity scene with a 14 year old girl.

Not an actress playing a 14 year old girl.

An actual 14 year old girl.

(retching, vomit squelching)
(coughing)

If you've never seen any
Rambo movies before

the image you probably associate
with the word "Rambo"

is the one where
hypermasculine Sylvester Stallone

is firing a machine gun
without a shirt on.

But see, that's actually from this movie,
"Rambo First Blood: Part II",

which has very little to do
with Part 1 at all.

The whole point of
the first Rambo movie is that

Rambo was a Vietnam War veteran
with severe PTSD

who snaps and kills a bunch of
small-town cops who treat him like shit.

This sequel, on the other hand

throws that tragic anti-war character
out the window

as the US government sends him
back to Vietnam

to locate prisoners of war

and Rambo is just like weirdly ok with that.

It's like he immediately got over his PTSD

and just got straight to blowing stuff up,
no problem.

This movie was
a massive box office success

and made double of what
the first movie made,

so naturally, Rambo III also ditched
the anti-war angle

and sent Rambo to Afghanistan.

I dunno as someone who thought
the first movie was amazing,

it really sucks to see how quickly
they ruined this character.

But, like, I get it.

The people who went to go see
these sequels in theaters

didn't watch it for the plot.

They watched to see
Sylvester Stallone do this.

(bow twang)
(explosion)

In the early 80s,
Prince was a rising star.

And his stardom was cemented in 1984

with the massive hit that was Purple Rain.

so after the success of Purple Rain,

Warner Bros. told Prince he was basically allowed to
do whatever he wanted for his next project

greenlighting Under the Cherry Moon
without even reading the script

the story is, Prince plays a guy in
the French Rivier named Christopher

He and his friend (tricky) try to
scam a rich girl out of her inheritance

but they both end up
falling in love with her.

problems with the movie became apparent early on

when Prince hired someone with
no experience to write the script.

Then 16 days into filming,
the director quit.

And Prince took over even though he had
no experience directing a movie before.

The end result was a movie that features
what I can only describe as

sarcastically says Acting.

Don't try anything funny.
Not this time, Christopher.

I want the money or I throw
you both out onto the street.

(gasp)

That's right, [inaudible]

Throw me on the the street?

It's bizarre, it's one of
those movies where

the acting is so bad
it loops around to being funny

which has given it
a bit of a cult following over the years

that and the soundtrack is amazing

like with Purple Rain

Prince released an album with the movie
that went Platinum

and is today remembered as
one of his most iconic albums of his career

After Under the Cherry Moon failed,
Prince tried one more time

to direct a feature-length movie

but that one got nominated
for a bunch of Razzies too

and after that he gave up and
never tried to direct a movie again.

Also this here marks
the first ever tie in Razzies history

with Under the Cherry Moon tieing with

(laughing)

Howard the Duck.

(Evasive laughing)

Greetings, Evasive viewers,
it is I, young Junko, expert in Bird Law

and I'm here to defend
my client Howard T. Duck,

star of the Razzies' Worst Film of 1986,
Howard The Duck

For nearly the last 40 years
my client's reputation has been

tarnished and slandered against

by quack punch, chicken shit critics
for this tragic box office bomb.

"Central character, the Duck, the one
that we're gonna be rooting for,

he's neither funny, or bit of funny."

But I'm here to clear the air.

Howard the Duck is not a movie,
no, it's a duckumentary.

I know this because I was there.

We all were.

My entire clan witnessed
my client crash land on Earth

to star in a motion picture
that of which has been

Um.

it's still awful. It's bad.
We're not winning this case, buddy.

I wasn't trying anything. Honest!

This is a strange movie to say the least.

Howard the Duck notoriously opens
with 2 instances of

full frontal duck booba
in the span of 30 seconds.

But the rest of the movie is this whiplash

between what's a squeaky clean
full house type family movie

that no one older than the age of
3 years old would find funny

followed by things like
Marty McFly's mom showing off her ass and

pulling out a condom for Howard's corkscrew.

Howard…

It's like anti-matter Shrek where
they didn't know

how to mix adult humor
and a kids' flick properly yet

so it becomes this overly long
bland comedy

with hardly any intentional laughs

that just happens to throw in something
totally obscene every now and then

- [Howard] Oh!
- I just can't resist your

intense animal magnetism.

uhh there's a lot of uhh attempts at duck puns,

most are just replacing
a random phrase in a word with "duck"

"That's it. No more Mr. Nice Duck."

Even the director's name is Willard Hyuck.

That's a duck name.

That's a name you give a duck.

The first half of the movie has Howard
pointlessly meandering

there's no funny interactions or
observations or memorable bits

it's just an aimless movie
with the guy in the duck suit.

You have an entire portion of the movie

where Howard has a job
as a towel boy in like a sex club

it's fun for the whole family!

Yeah, Breeders, what the hell.

Bareback bestiality and pedophilia.

Oh yeah, we find Howard getting launched to earth
as a result of a quack mace incident.

which also leads to Palpatine
somehow returning from the dead

and possessing the body of that one actor
that's in every 80s movie

who would later go on to be
arrested for being a sex pervert.

What do you think he would like to eat?

I no longer need human food.

[Junko] I need little boy butts.

You have a movie where
a talking duck fires a giant laser

at a hell portal to stop
a horde of alien warlords

from taking over the Earth

and they still manage
to make it a total snooze fest

They try to give Howard a bit of edge

but he still feels
too kiddy and sanitized

for what they're going for

And part of that is also his design.

He looks like a cross
of a Furby and MacCulkin.

There were some things I did like,

like these alien overlords are pretty cool

their design and the stop motion
is really well done.

and the sequence where
Howard gets shot into space

is pretty neat, pretty
impressive to look at.

I like this sequence where Howard
and Andy Dufresne get a 6 star wanted level

and start flying away from all the cops

that was good.

Yeah, Tim Robins is in this

Imagine having what's considered
one of the best movies of all time

as part of your portfolio

and on the other end of the
spectrum, Howard the Duck,

now that's range

Genuinely I was taken aback
because some of the shots in this movie

undeniably do go hard. I feel like

There's a version of this movie that
could've actually been good with less work

like if they leaned into Howard being this
cynical, perverted wise-quacking duck

that's down on his luck,
who gets thrust into Earth

and finds this strange new realm

actually isn't so much different from his own.

and then it's all about the bills,
baby, put it on my belt

He could take it as an
opportunity for a fresh start,

slowly climbing his way up the corporate ladder

until becoming a national celebrity

that gets caught up in 80s
consumerism and greed

and then maybe having him begrudgingly
involved in weird sci-fi fantasy stuff

like the comics, I dunno.

I'm not sure how to defend my client.

Give him the chair.

(Howard screams)

(Evasive laughing)

Alright, I may not have been
able to defend Howard,

but know this: from this day forth,
I will ensure every client of mine

is proven innocent.

Now for my next client,
I will be defending one Bill Cos-.

Bill Co-Bill Cosby.

Bill Co-Bill Cosby.

I-I'm good. Your Honor? i with-I withdrawal.

I withdrawal your honor. I'm good. We're done here. We're done.

It's Leonard, part 6.

Ask anyone who's seen
this movie, they'll tell you

that's when they first knew
lil' Bill was a real piece of shit

I got to say when I first heard there was a
comedy movie that just started on part 6

I thought hey, that's kind funny, maybe this movie
could be bad in a good way, at the very least

Nope, it's just bad,
it's boring, it's so boring.

If there's one thing Cosby
was always a master at

it's making people very sleepy.

The whole thing is supposed to be
a spoof on the spy genre, sort of like

like Naked Gun, except it actually
came out a year before that movie

They really just had the cameras rolling
and had Bill Cosby do whatever he wanted

There's a bunch of weird sex shit

I mean the clues are all there,

in the movie his wife divorced him
because he slept with a 19 year old

and his daughter is dating a much older man
to further her career as an actress

so then Leonard has to see her
flash her tits on stage

for no reason, none of these scenes
add anything to the movie

I think Cosby just wanted to
look at some young girl tits

The whole film has this weird
lethargic and slow energy to it

Everything from the dialogue
to the editing,

it's like watching a movie at 0.5 speed.

The movie opens with
Leonard and an assassin

having a shootout in a kitchen

The joke is that what they're doing
is actually helping prep some of the food

Ok, could be funny but the pace of it all
is so bizarrely off by a step

Every gag and bit is like this,
like they took something that was

maybe a 3 out of 10 joke at best
and spread it so thin that

you-you ask yourself,

Was there even
a joke at all to begin with?

The plot follows Leonard
being the best agent in the world

who's long been retired, until being
pulled back for one last mission

after a buncha animals under
mind control start killing people

yet again a god-awful 80s comedy starts

off with an animal looking at a porno mag.

Here's you two fucking nickels.

The first half is him just
stumbling around

trying to get back with his ex wife

who pours soup on him—
wh-what is this gag?

Is this a fetish, Mr. Cosby?
You think this was genuinely funny?

[mocking] We'll have him pour soup.

Cosby doesn't have a single
funny line or hook to his character

you can tell he's put
zero effort into any of this

It's almost like he said "Yeah I'll do the movie
but I don't wanna look too stupid,

don't make me look too stupid

most of these so-called jokes are what the most
boring uptight person in the world

would think being silly is.

[mocking] Oh, look, wow
he's being a ballerina, so girly.

Oh, wow, he's doing a silly fitness tape,
how can he subject himself to that.

oh, wee, you know what I mean?

it's like he thinks
these things are so beneath him

that just him doing it would be funny.

What a piece of shit.

y'know what really makes me mad, though?

It's completely unfair. Because everyone
else seems to be trying, but him.

there's a part In the end when Leonard

frees all the animals from captivity,

and I just wanna take this time to
recognize this bird right here.

Who in this 5 second shot, bends the bars
of his cage with his beak and breaks free

God bless this bird.

This bird right here put more effort
than Bill Cosby in his own movie.

This bird did not deserve to be
in one of the worst movies of all time.

None of these animals did.

This ostrich didn't deserve to be betrayed

with a sex criminal grinding
his pudding pop on its back.

if you think about it

If audiences in 1987 hated this,
watching it now,

with all the humor naturally diluted
even further through the passage of time

is like drinking a 40 year old
can of new coke

and when Bill's the one handing you the drink,
it's safe to say

you probably shouldn't drink it.

(gurgling)

Cocktail is a movie where young Tom Cruise
plays a bartender in Manhattan.

and then he movies to Jamaica
and falls in love with a girl.

but then he loses her and he moves back
to New York to win her back

and that's pretty much it.

What you see is what you get
with this one.

It's a really mediocre movie.

Not that good, but not that bad either.

Well except for this scene when
Tom Cruise stands on a bar

and reads his shitty poetry.

This is pretty cringey.

[tom cruise] I see America drinking

the fabulous cocktails I make.

crowd laughs

America's getting stinking
on something I stir or shake.

(laughing)

I make drinks so sweet and snazz-ay,

the iced tea, the kamikaze,

(hollering)

the sex on the beach
is Schnapps made from peach

the ball and hammer
the Alabama slammer!

Unsurprisingly with Tom Cruise starring,
this movie was a massive success,

earning a ridiculous 171 million dollars
on a 20 million dollar budget.

It's also the movie that the Beach Boys song
"Kokomo" song was written for.

Besides that, not much to talk about here.

I'm pretty sure it only won Worst Picture
because this was the same year

Rain Man was favored to win Best Picture.

and the voters must have thought it would be
funny to make the Best and Worst Picture

be Tom Cruise movies.

Ok, so, before making this video,
I hadn't watched any Star Trek at all.

But because I'm committed to my craft,
I went ahead and watched

all 6 of the original movies

just so I could understand why this one
is considered the worst.

and after all that, I—

Yeah. I get it now.

It's not a horrible movie but especially
compared to the previous films in the series,

Star Trek V is pretty bleh.

Pretty much everything went wrong
behind the scenes.

William Shatner directed it
with no prior directing experience.

Nobody could agree on anything
during the writing process,

There was a writers' strike.

Then a Teamsters strike.

They shot a lot of the movie
in the Mojave Desert,

which is just as miserable as it sounds.

and after filming was done, they only had
3 months to make the special effects,

and all the best effects technicians
in Hollywood were busy working on

Indiana Jones 3
and Ghostbusters II at the time.

Do I think this movie
deserved Worst Picture? No.

It does some wacky things like
introduce Spock's long-lost brother

that he never mentioned before

Or show Kirk getting mauled
by a cat woman.

but overall I really don't think it's that bad

Though to be honest

I'm not a Trekkie who had to see

Captain Kirk show up on the Enterprise
in a "Go climb a rock t-shirt"

So…

I mean…is that-is that bad?

I-I actually don't know.

Can someone in the comments tell me
if i'm, if that's like a bad,

if that's not in character?

I actually don't know if I
should be mad at this or not?

The Adventures of Ford Fairlane was a

"comedy" starring Andrew Dice Clay.

If you don't know who Andrew Dice Clay is,

he was a comedian most active
in the late 80s and early 90s

who was known for his character the Dice Man,

which was basically a cover for him to tell
the most offensive jokes he possibly could.

And they're always on parade.

They march up and down the street
with t-shirts and flags

'I want money for AIDS disease.'
Beautiful.

I want money for a new fucking car,
I ain't marching up and down the street

Get a job, butt slammer.

[Evasive] The movie itself
is about a detective, I guess,

I dunno, it's just not funny at all.

honestly I kept going to my phone the
whole time because I was just so bored.

- I got something serious to discuss.

Yeah, what is it, premature ejaculation?
(laughing)

like that time we were at her
parents' wedding anniversary,

and I told that joke,

'What's the definition of vagina?

The box the peanuts comes in!' (laugh)

Gilbert Godfrey plays
the only funny character in the movie

but he dies like 25 minutes in
and the rest is just a boring mess

that's impossible to follow.

The director Renny Harlin was also
working on Die Hard 2 at the time

which ended up coming out in theaters
at the exact same time as Ford Fairlane

and when you look at the money
comparison between the two movies.

Yeah, it's pretty obvious which movie
he cared about more.

Clint Eastwood.

I fucked him. Oh!

[Evasive] 1990 was another tie

with Ford Fairlane tieing
with another movie

from unapologetic
pepophile John Derek.

In this one, Bo Derek plays a woman
married to a much older man

and when the older man dies,
his ghost takes up residence in her head

and goads her into murdering a man

so he can possess his body
and have sex with her again.

It's a supernatural dirty old man movie

where John Derek fantasizes about

living rent-free in Bo Derek's head
after he dies.

Plus this ended up being his last movie.

It would be poetic
if it wasn't so disgusting.

Bo was very very young.
Linda was very young…

not as young as urcela

I guess I just meet them young,

before they're wise enough
to know I'm not the guy.

Anyway the acting is bad,
the story is bad,

the visuals are bad,

but the real cherry on top here is: this movie

was the first film appearance
of Donald Trump.

No joke, Trump's first movie
was made by a pedophile.

He even does a little duck face in it,
look at him.

Poetic.

Just watch this clip.

Woah!

Happy sailing..

Oh no! How am I driving?
1-800-I'm gonna-fucking-die!"

[Evasive] Bruce Willis plays
a master burglar fresh out of prison

who was blackmailed into stealing some art

but it's all part of a conspiracy
to build a secret machine

invented by Leonardo Da Vinci
that can turn lead into gold.

At this point in his career, Bruce Willis
was mainly known for Die Hard 1 and 2,

and was looking to branch out
with Hudson Hawk.

but apparently he couldn't decide
what he wanted it to be.

In an interview,
one of the writers later said:

I started to know we were in trouble

when Joel and Bruce
would say during filming

You know what this is?
This is a Pink Panther movie.

The next day they'd say

You know what this is? This is an
American James Bond movie.

Then it would be: you know what this is
This is North by Northwest.

I even remember someone saying:

You know what this is?
This is Casino Royale.

Eventually I realized, that if every day they
were saying it was something different

by the time we got to the editing room,
we were going to be in trouble.

So yeah, the final product
is all over the place.

But the movie has developed
a bit of a cult following over the years

just because it's so…so silly

(screaming)

- Honey?
- (screaming)

Ball ball?

Woof!

(dog screaming)

Here's another movie
that's really not that bad.

It's a World War II spy movie where
Melanie Griffith is a half Jewish woman

with no spy experience
who signs herself up to be a spy in Berlin

because she wants to prove herself and
save her Jewish cousins who are in hiding.

Michael Douglas plays another spy

and pre-Schindler's List
Liam Neeson plays a Nazi officer.

Most of the complaints about
the movie were aimed at

how unbelievable
Melanie Griffith is as a spy

because she is really bad at her job.

Like "spilling soup on Liam Neeson and
taking the German kids she's nannying

to the building her cousins are hiding in"
kind of bad

But overall it's not that awful of a movie

because the plot holes
and writing problems

are balanced out by a good soundtrack
and good cinematography

It's just average.

Not bad enough to be memorable

but not good enough
that you'd ever watch it again.

basically the cinematic equivalent
of eating at Denny's.

I think 1992 was just a slow year
for bad movies in general.

That same year they also
nominated Newsies for Worst Picture

and Danny DeVito for
Worst Supporting Actor

like…what? Why? How?

What?

Once again, this is a movie
that's not that bad.

It's a drama where
Woody Harrelson and Demi Moore

play a financially struggling
married couple in Vegas

and Robert Redford is a filthy rich guy

who offers the couple 1 million dollars

for a 1 night stand with Demi Moore.

Honestly, it's fine.

It takes itself very seriously
and it's vaguely misogynistic at points.

Also it's completely unbelievable that
a man who looks like Robert Redford

would ever feel the need to
pay a million dollars

to sleep with someone

But in the context of the movie it all works.

definitely not the
worst movie of the year.

that's for sure

I mean You're telling me that Indecent Proposal

won Worst Picture but Mr. Nanny
wasn't even nominated?

Razzie voters were asleep
at the wheel this year.

In this one Bruce Willis plays a
psychologist who can't see the color red

who gets wrapped up
in a murder after his colleague

gets killed Assassin's Creed-style

and he suspects it was someone
in his therapy group.

I'm so confused why this
was even nominated for Worst Picture

because it really isn't a bad movie at all.

It's surreal and weird, sure,
but in a Twin Peaks type of way

where it's still unsettling
and fun to watch.

Definitely a 6.5 out of 10 movie for me.

Maybe a 7 out of 10 I dunno.

this is another one that became a
cult hit after it was released on home video

Partly because of this crazy sex scene
in a pool that everybody wanted to see

It was even streaming
on Criterion Channel at one point

which basically means
that it's certified art.

That's all I have to say.

I dunno guys, some of these 90s movies
just aren't bad enough to complain about.

There's a lot to be said about Showgirls.

First of all, Director Paul Verhoeven

was the first to accept
his Razzie award in person.

And that's kind of funny.

[Paul] And I'm very happy
because it was much better, much more fun

than reading the reviews in September.
Thank you so much.

(clapping, cheering)

Second of all, Showgirls isn't bad.

It's actually a great movie,
in my opinion, and a lot of people agree.

It is a wild movie about the world of
high budget Las Vegas strip shows

and Obviously with subject matter like that

you're going to view it very differently

depending on your gender and sexuality.

But regardless of what kind
of person you are

the experience of watching this movie
is an absolute rollercoaster.

One. Two. Three.

Thrust it. Thrust it. thrust it. Thrust it!

Come on, thrust it.

But for as over the top as this movie is
it's also pretty true to life.

During his research,
writer Joe Eszterhas interviewed

over two hundred strippers in Las Vegas

and the result was a
shockingly straightforward depiction

of the lives of high profile
sex workers and performers

And a biting satire against
show business in general.

Take a look at these tits.

What are these, watermelons?

This is a stage, babe, it's not a patch.

See ya.

Your ears are sticking out. They are.

Come back and see me
when you get em fixed.

See ya.

Can you spell MGM backwards?
I bet you can't.

- MGM.
- I'm impressed.

Come back when you
fuck some of those baby fat off.

Now in today's era of gritty HBO dramas,
none of this is that shocking

but in 1995 this was next level stuff.

Plus with the subject matter,
this movie has a lot of nudity.

It was rated NC-17 in America

and to date it is the only NC-17 movie
ever given a wide release in theaters.

It was so explicit and controversial

that MGM had to hire security
at every movie theater in America

just to make sure nobody under
the age of 18 snuck into the theater.

The movie lost millions of dollars

and to this day, no studio has ever dared

to try and release an NC-17 movie
in theaters again.

If this sounds interesting to you,
I actually recommend giving this movie a watch

because I can't really do it justice
with just words alone.

Just know what you're getting

into before you turn it on

because this movie is every bit
as traumatic as it is glamorous

This movie is like if showgirls

was actually bad

Demi Moore plays an FBI agent

who looses her daughter in a custody battle
and becomes a stripper in florida

at a place called the eager beaver

to pay for a court appeal

she basically girl bosses
being a stripper

not in a nuance way
like showgirls though

but in a stupid way that
takes itself too seriously

and is mostly just boring
and not believable at all

despite the bad reviews the movie
ended up being a huge success

The director, writer, producer
Andrew Bergman

basically quit holly wood after this movie

I'm pretty sure what happened is once
he got Demi Moore to agree to go topless

he just phoned in the rest of the movie
because clearly the audiences

who went to see this
weren't watching it for the plot

The post man takes place
in a distant future year of 2013

after much of humanity has
been wiped out by the plague

Kevin Costner who also directed the movie
stars as a traveling shakespeare performer

that's conscripted to caesar's legion
but he escapes and finds an old mail bag

full of mail and pretends
to be a mail man so he can get food

and accidently restarts the
us postal service in the process

also it's almost 3 hours long

honestly as far as post apocalyptic
adventures go, this one isn't that bad

it's about the same level of quality
as water world actually

but the fact that it was a 3 hour long
kevin costner vanity project

released just a week after titanic
made it a very easy target for critiques

what is Kevin Costner up to
these days anyway

typing on computer

I mean hey, good luck Kevin

If you aren't familiar

The name Alan Smithee is a fake name the directors
guild of america came up with in 1968

that directors who wanted to take their
name off a movie, were required to use instead

and this movie caused such a headache
that the directors guild had to

officially stop allowing the use of the
Alan Smithee name in movies

OK, so, this movie was written by
Joe Eszterhas and directed by Arthur Hiller

It's a mockumentary about a guy
who's name is actually Alan Smithee

who directs an action movie
but he hates the finished product

so he steals the film reels
and holds them ransom

because he wasn't allowed to take
his name of it

now behind the scenes in real life
Joe Eszterhas was in charge of

cutting burn hollywood burn and when
Arthur Hillers saw the final version

he hated it so much he had
his name taken off the movie

but this of course created confusion
because this was a movie

about Alan Smithee and the poster
said it was directed by Alan Smithee

which you would assume was just a joke
but no, the director actually had his name

taken off the movie

it would take me so long to explain
everything that's wrong

with this movies so let me
just sum it up in four words

there is way too many characters
the movie jumps all over the place

Harvey weinstein is in it

eww sound effect

there's lots of not funny parts
where the camera freeze frames

and there's a wall
of text on screen

I'm guessing what happened is they
filmed all these scenes separately

and thought they were hilarious on set
but when they got to the editing room

they realized they had nothing to work with
so Joe Eszterhas tried to

salvage it by adding a bunch of
text edit jokes

which actually made the movie worse

I have no proof of this of course
but it seems right to me

I mean I'd probably do the
same thing in that situation

ok so this is a western steampunk
fusion movie starring the fresh prince

and the guy who plays Mr. Fish odor
in bob's burgers

as cowboy government agents hunt down
an evil ex confederate officer with no legs

who kidnapped president
Ulysses S Grant with a giant robot spider

that's what this movie is

this movie is ridiculous

I don't know what the executives at
warner brothers were snorting in the board room

when they decided to spend over $170
on a movie where cowboy Will Smith

fights a huge mecha-spider

but thank god they did because Will Smith
turned down playing Neo in the matrix to do this movie

and I want you to imagine now what it
would be like if Will Smith played Neo in the matrix

Evasive laughs

[Will Smith] I probably would have
messed the matrix up. I wouldv'e ruined it

so I did y'all a favor

this might not be a good movie but
oh my god it's so funny

plus the theme song is pretty fire

"if I may quote one of the great gangster rappers
William Will Smith

wicky wild wild wicky wicky wild
wicky wild wicky wicky wild wild wild west

wicky wild wicky wicky wild wild west

do you find those lyrics inspiring?

[person 1] I mean, I-I...

battlefield earth is an action sci-fi movie
based on a novel written by L. Ron Hubbard

the founder of scientology

which he wrote in 1982 when he
was in hiding to avoid going to prison

for his numerous crimes

It's about a distant future world
where humanity has been enslaved

by evil aliens called the Psychlos
which are a very obvious metaphor

for L. Ron Hubbard's vitriolic hate of psychiatrists

John Travolta who plays the evil
alien leader named Terl

and has been a scientologist since 1975
is directly responsible for this movie existing

the production company that took it on
was later found to have defrauded investers

out of $31 million by over reporting
production costs causing a law-suit

that forced the company to go bankrupt
and shut down in 2007

on top of that the movie was a massive
financial flop not just because the movie

and it's John Travolta action figures
were an obvious scientology recruitment tactic

but because the movie itself
was a visual nightmare

the special effects are ugly
the costumes are disgusting

and the whole movie was filmed

with these crooked angles that changed
multiple times a scene

which gave a bunch of people motion sickness

it's a realy infamously bad movie
that's been covered by dozens of

other youtube channels over the years

so if you want more information on it
go watch one of those videos

just don't watch the movie itself because
it will do nothing but make you nauseous

and waste 2 hours of your time

I'm serious you guys
don't do it

I'm sorry you guys

conflict of interest

I can't talk about Freddy got fingered

one of my friends and I watched this movie
like 4x during quarantine and we

kind of bonded over it

and now this movie has a special
place in my heart

so I made Nicky watch it instead
because shes never seen it before

and here she is now

[Nicky} where the hell do I even
begin with this movie

part of me thinks this movie is some kind
of deep anti comedy meant to saterize

the other gross out comedies that
were popular in the early 2000s

and the other part of me thinks that
maybe it means nothing at all

I mean any normal human being
will read a title like Freddy got fingered

and run away in the opposite direction

because what the fuck
is that suppose to mean

but to put it simply
this movie is about a 28yr old man

his name is Gord
and he moves to LA to be a cheese worker

and also to pursue his dreams
of being a professional animator

seems pretty simple right?
seems pretty cut and dry

but that's where you'd be wrong
because so very many things happen

in this movie that are beyond
human explanation

just to name a few
Tom Green jerks off a horse

he swings a baby around by it's
umbilical cord

Tom Green walks around in a deer carcass
and he goes scuba diving in his own toilet

[movie dialogue] get out of the toilet.
get out of that toilet!

but at the risk of sounding clinically
insane and demented

there are moments in this movie
that I find kind of relatable

like this one where the CEO of
an animation company tells

Gord that he doesn't like his drawings

"it sucks"

and so he immediatly sticks a gun
in his mouth and starts screaming

and what makes this even funnier
is the fact that once he recieves

validation, he takes the gun out of his mouth
and acts like none of that ever happened at all

if you're mentally ill and make art
this is the film for you

and this movie surprised me in so many
different ways for one, it made me laugh

way more than I anticipated

"can't you see we're both a couple
of stupid idiots

[female] Gord
[Gord] Gord, Gordy

and it was all so like weirdly based
at times and I say weirdly because

the early 2000s was just like a diragatory
fever dream

it was like running through
the perfume department in spongebob

but the perfume was slurs

so like Gord ends up asking out
this nurse named Betty

and she says yes but afterwards he finds
out that she's in a wheelchair and at first

I'm was like oh shit! like it's about to
get really ableist in here

I was truly prepared for the worst but
my expectations were completely subvirted

when Betty ended up not only being the
smartest person in this whole movie

but her and Gord remain in a relationship
for the rest of the film

"have a bag of jewels for you
they're jewels Betty, they're jewels"

another interesting thing to me is that
betty constantly wants to give Gord

a blow job. Hear me out dude
like, she actually asks him this

so many times in the movie that
it comes off as very obviously satirical

and again my expectations were subverted
by Gord being the one that repeatedly asks

if they can just go out on a date

This could be a play on the trope of
male protaganist in comedy especially

being obssesed with sex
and not only that but woman

being ultra sexualized in these movies

not all the subversion in this movie
is good though necessarily

I mean if you were wondering how
the movie got its title

I shit you not about 50mins into the film

Gord frames his dad
for fingering his brother

"at least I don't touch Freddy"
"he fingers him"

his brother who is like 25 and
doesn't even live with them

"he's a molester"
"he's a chiiiild molester"

but CPS literally goes to his apartment
and takes him to the molestation hospital

is this shocking? yes

I don't know if it's shocking
compared to the other

things that happen in this movie

is it in poor taste?
like, uhhhh, maybe

but anyways this whole framing of the
fingering is the cannon event

that leads to the finale of the film

when Gord pranks his dad by
abducting him in the middle of the night

and taking him to pakistan

"you're fucking dead"

they could write books and novels
and college thesis about everything

else that happens in-between
then and the ending

but just know that this movie ends with
Gord and his dad being covered

in elephant c**

speaking of which

there's an elephant in this room and
the elephant is that I actually kind of like this movie

also the elephant is cumming

is that so wrong?
and is it so wrong that maybe kind of

I might be attracted to Tom Green in this movie?
is it maybe ok if I think

he might be the Pete Davidson of the 90s

you know what, shut up
as far as career ruining films go

Tom Green took the failure of Freddie very
very well. He even showed up to accept

his golden razzie
he rolled out his own red carpet too

celebrate your successes and your failures

[evasive] a remake of an italian film
from 1974

swept away is a movie where Madonna
plays the dumbest most unlikable rich woman

in the world

who gets marooned on an island
with an italian sailor who hates her

and sexually assaults her.
And then 3 mins after that

there's a time skip and suddenly
they're in love

its a nasty nasty nasty movie
and I don't even want to talk about it

it was so bad it caused Madonna
to give up on acting entirely

it's a disaster.
Absolute agony to watch

especially when you consider that the movie
was directed by Madonna's then husband Guy Ritchie

Madonna later divorced Guy Ritchie in 2008
but in my opinion queen should've

divorced Guy Ritchie on the spot for
even suggesting this movie

[Madonna] it was rough. There was nothing
glamorous about it and you were really mean to me

[Guy] Mrs. Ritchie
[Madonna] I just want to slap you on camera

[Guy] but why Mrs. Ritchie

[Madonna] for all those times you let adriano
slap me and you never yelled cut

and all those times they threw octopuses on me
and all those times you made me sit

in the freezing cold ice water
and those times you made me run

down the sand dune and all those
times you ate my food and you didn't pay me

and you never said thank you

Madonna cries and leaves

I'm not going to lie, I was riding the
thigh of actually enjoying Freddie got fingered

when Gigli came in and literally snuffed
the life out of me

Gigle is a movie

it's about a mobster names gigli
played by Benjamin, Benny boy Affleck

and much like review on letter box, I too
hope the Gigli killed himself

because not only does he abduct a
mentally challenged teenager

and abuse him while holding him for ransom

he's also just cring
unforgivably so

Jaylo was also in this movie unfortunatly
and she plays this other mobster or mobsteret

who is suppose to help him
take care of this mentally disabled kid

and she also just happens to be a lesbian

or should I say the least convincing lesbian
in film history

no lesbians were consulted in the making
of this movie because what the fuck is this

you may not be able to tell because this
is the weirsdest way i've ever heard anyone describe it

but she's talking about eating pussy here

I really don't know who like told Jaylo
or whoever wrote this script that

lesbians call that turkey time but whoever
it was deserves to be taken out behind a barn and shot

anyways though of course Gigli doesn't respect
her sexuality

and he whines and complains throughout the whole movie

about oooh, it's not fair that shes like a lesbian
but i'm like attracted to her

and I want to be with her

and after enough complaing ricky starts doing
deeds with him

and its not like this is realistic
at all in any way

but in the hypothetical scenario where
for some reason a lesbian had sex

with a guy. It would not be with this guy

he's always like licking his teeth and shit

but luckily there's not just lesbian cringe

there's also plenty of hetero sexual cringe

and gay cringe

and despite this movie literally
being about mobsters

nothing mobster related really happens
in this movie

until like the last 30 mins where for some
reason Al Pacino is here

I'm sure this is Al Pocinos favorite
role of all time

right up there next to jack and jill

but to give it to you straight

the movie ends with Gigli leaving
the mentally disabled kind on a random beach

with a cast of baywatch

and it's literally played out like its
suppose to be this inspirational thing

like a tear jerker or something

meanwhile Gigli and Ricky ride off into the sunset

just as she's telling him that he should
wear some makeup

do not watch this movie

you will get a UTI
or that other thing

[evasive] ok first of all this movie is catwoman
in name only

despite being a DC comics movie

the catwoman in this movie has pretty much

nothing to do with batman

this character has a different name
lives in a different city

and gets her cat super powers from a magic
cat burping in her mouth

it's just so stupid
it's actually really fun to watch

especially the CGI Halle Berry during the actions scenes
it's so funny

as you might expect this movie bombed hard
probably because they put it out in

theaters around the same time as
spider man 2

its a pretty infamouse super hero movie now

and the director Pitof was basically
laughed out of hollywood

never directed a movie again

but Halle Berry embraced this movie was a flop

and she even showed up in person
to accept her Razzie award

dirty love is a

"comedy"

created by Melissa McCarthy cousin

notorious anti vaccer and masked singer judge Jenny McCarthy

she stars as a woman who gets dumped
by her boyfriend and her life falls apart

its really unhinged but not in a funny
kind of way

more of a im uncomfortable and want to leave
the room kind of way

I actually had a hrd time finding clips
from this movie online

because its pretty obscure and nobody likes it

its mostly badly delivered jokes
and gross out humor with a feminine spin

and by feminine spin I of course mean
period jokes like this scene where a

bleeding Jenny McCarthy goes tot he grocery
store in a white skirt and no underwhere

and almost bleeds out on the floor

you know, relatable comedy for women

just girly thing
#justgirlythings

just girly things

its a girly thing so you wouldn't
understand boy

its a girly thing

its a girly thing

its a girly thing
#justgirlythings

so this is a sequel to basic instinct

and erotic murder mystery thriller
from the early 90s

its maybe best remembered today for the scene
where numan from sienfield

sees Sharons Stones bare uncensored tits
in an interogation room

the original was nominated for a few
razzies in its day but it was a

massive box offic hit

and is today remembered as a pretty solid
Neo Noir thriller

now basic instinct 2 on the other hand
only exists because Sharon Stone

was promised $14 million to star in the movie

and when the producers tried to cancel it
she sued them to force them to make it

its kind of hard to talk about this movie
without spoiling a bit of the original

but I will say that overall I didn't hate this movie

but I also barely remember anything about
the plot and I only saw it a couple months ago

it rehashes a lot of the same story, beats
and plot points as the original

just not as good

would I call it a terrible movie?
no, not really

but compared to the original its pretty bland
and forgetable

but that's what happens when your
only reason for making movies is

to avoid a massive lawsuit

got to love showbiz baby

I know who killed me is a horror
movie starring Lindsay Lohan as a girl

who was kidnapped by a seriel killer

but survives and wakes up in a hospital
saying shes someone else

this movie was released on july, 2007
right at the peak of the tabloid frenzy

about her struggles with alcohol and drug addiction

there was a lot of attention on the movie
while it was filming

especially because Lohan checked into
rehab the first time a month into production

the film set was so swarmed with paparazzi
that some of them even showed up in

the background of a few shots of the movie

then a couple months after filming wrapped
Lohan was arrested for drunk driving

then on July 24th, just 3 days before
the movie was released

Lohan was arrested for drunk driving again
and couldn't even attend the premier

all of this negative media ttention
made Lindsay Lohan enemy #1 in hollywood

critics eviscerated this movie

but in the years since its release
this film has become a bit of a

cult classic with horror movie fans

and its been screned in theaters many times
over the last decade

ive seen a lot of people in line compared
to giallo movies, an itallian film genre

popular in the 60s and 70s
that mixed elements of murder mysteries, slashers, and erotica

the influence of giallo is defintly
present here

its a stylish weird thriller and Lohan
background mader kind of perfect for the role

as the main character wuickly transforms from
a sweet highschool girl

into a deeply traumatized woman
with a robotic hand

its defintly not for everyone
myself included

but if youre into weird gory horror movies
theres a lot to vibe with here

its a much better movie than norbit
thats for sure

I mean have you ever seen norbit

the love guru is a movie
written by, produced by, and starring Mike Meyers

thats mostly remembered today as the movie
that completely tanked his career

and caused him to step away from hollywood
for 8 years

critics and audiences both hated it

with critics calling it lazy, immature,
mindless, pityable, insulting, gross

contemptuous, racist, and unlikable
among many other things

but dont take their word for it
take my word for it

I dont really have any other words for it
that preety much sums it up

anyway heres a scene that they used in the trailor

so the plot of this movie is Mike Meyes
plays this self help guru

named maurice Pitka
who was raised in india

wears a chasity belt and dreams
of being on Oprah

hes hired by the Toronto maple leafs
to help their star player

get back together with his wife

because he is the love guru therfor
only he can save their mariage

its basically a one note movie
that feels like it was written by a 10yr old boy

every scene goes on for way too long

Mike Meyers keeps laughing at his own jokes
and pretty much every line is about

poop, pee, farts, balls or dicks

with many of the characters names being dick jokes

we got tugginmypudha, coach cherkov, Le Coq
dick pants

starts laughing

its not funny that John Olivers
named Dick Pants

starts laughing again
its not...

continues laughing