-
What's up cinephiles,
I'm Evasive,
-
and this piece of paper right here
means two things:
-
Number one, I am tens of
thousands of
-
dollars in debt,
-
and number two, I know a lot
about movies.
-
Since the U.S government
isn't giving me any debt relief this year,
-
I have no choice now but to
torture myself on the Internet
-
for money to pay off the loans
-
I took out to go to film school.
-
So for this video, I watched every
movie that's ever won
-
a Razzie Award for Worst Picture
of the Year.
-
This was an extremely painful
experience
-
and I regretted my decision
immediately,
-
but for the sake of
my adoring fans
-
and my bank account,
-
I went ahead and watched
all 46 of these
-
movies so I could
explain them to you.
-
But after the grueling experience
of watching all these,
-
I'm not about to tackle this
breakdown alone.
-
So I went ahead and roped in
another video essay girly
-
and a talking trash can
-
to help explain some of these
movies for me.
-
But before I get to the movies,
-
let me explain what the Razzies are.
-
The Golden Raspberry Awards are
an annual event,
-
usually held the night before the Oscars,
-
to award the worst
movies of the year.
-
It was founded by Hollywood
copywriter
-
John Wilson and editor Maureen
Murphy.
-
The idea for the Razzies came
about in 1980
-
when Wilson saw Can't Stop
the Music and Xanadu, back to back
-
and hated them so much, that
there ought to be an award show
-
for this type of thing.
-
Months later, Wilson hosted an
-
Oscars watch party at his house,
-
and after the Oscars had finished,
-
he and Murphy passed out ballots
to everyone
-
for the worst movies of the year,
-
and then he announced the
winners.
-
Over time, the ceremony
grew and grew,
-
and today they're considered a staple
of the Hollywood award season
-
as a low-budget Bizarro World
Oscars
-
that distributes awards in
categories
-
such as Worst Actor, Worst Director,
-
and Worst Screenplay.
-
Unlike the qualifications for voting
at the Oscars,
-
becoming a Razzie voter
is very easy:
-
either be friends with
one of the producers
-
or just pay a $40 membership fee.
-
That's all it takes.
-
So that's the story of the Razzies.
-
Now are you ready to learn about
every single movie
-
that won Worst Picture?
-
Because I wasn't.
-
There's 46 of these things, so I'm
going to talk about each one
-
for just a minute or two
-
and hand off a few to my guests
-
so I don't completely lose my mind here.
-
Also, I put a content warning on a
bunch of these movies
-
because of the sensitive subject
matter I discuss.
-
Not trying to traumatize anybody
but myself in this video.
-
Well, me and my guests.
-
But I commissioned them for this,
so it-it's fine.
-
Anybody who can swallow 2 snowballs
and a ding-dong shouldn't
-
have trouble with pride.
-
The first movie to win Worst Picture was
Can't Stop The Music,
-
A movie about the "origins"
of the disco group Village People.
-
I say origins in air-quotes because
the Village People play themselves
-
and the plot is completely made-up
-
and not at all how the Village People
actually formed
-
The movie itself is super campy
and full of these crazy musical numbers
-
that are unironically kinda great.
-
It's just too bad that in between
those musical numbers are these scenes
-
with really terrible acting
that go on for way too long.
-
Wait a minute! I am not taking one
more step 'til I know where I'm going.
-
Yeah, quit my job, and you
got me walking the beat again!
-
- I'm not even getting paid for it!
- Hold your horses.
-
I told you I had a surprise for you.
-
I hope so. I turned in my
coin change with the toll booth.
-
It wasn't that awful, but by 1980
the disco fad was pretty much over and
-
people loved to hate on
disco music at the time
-
so you can see why this
ended up being such a huge bomb.
-
Also, shockingly, this movie marks the
first film appearance of Caitlyn Jenner
-
and apparently the experience was so bad
-
she didn't appear in a movie again until
Jack & Jill in 2011.
-
And, uh, well.
-
Mommie Dearest is a "biopic"
-
about the life of actress Joan Crawford's
adopted daughter Christina.
-
Again, I say biopic in air-quotes
because the movie was based on
-
Christina Crawford's controversial memoir
-
that other members of Joan Crawford's
family disavowed when it came out.
-
I haven't done much research on the topic
-
so I'm in no position
to question this story.
-
But I will say that after
the movie was made
-
Christina said the film was grotesque
and not true to her memoir.
-
Released just 4 years after
Joan Crawford passed away,
-
this movie basically spits all over
her fresh grave
-
and portrays her as a horrible mother
-
who frequently, physically and emotionally
abused her daughter.
-
Whether or not this is actually true
is still a matter for debate.
-
Regardless of the real-life circumstances
behind the movie,
-
Faye Dunway's performance
of Joan Crawford is iconic now.
-
People who have experienced
emotional abuse from a parent
-
found her performance
scarily true to their own life experiences
-
but general audiences thought
she was just being
-
outrageously campy and
over the top the whole movie.
-
Because of its reputation
-
the film accidentally
became a queer cult classic over the years
-
especially in the drag community.
-
It was even featured in the most
recent season of RuPaul's Drag Race.
-
"No wire hangers!"
-
♫ No more wire hangers ♫
♫ Ah, ah! ♫
-
♫ No, no, wire hangers ♫
♫ No, no, no, no ♫
-
[Evasive] Inchon is a movie about
the battle of Incheon in the Korean War.
-
It was financed and produced
by the Unification Church,
-
a movement that was and still is
considered a dangerous cult
-
with a leader who called himself
the second coming of Jesus Christ.
-
The film's producer was
a very wealthy member of the church.
-
He said he was instructed by God
to make the film.
-
So, unsurprisingly, no investors wanted
any part of this.
-
All 46 million dollars of the budget was
provided by the church and its followers.
-
The film itself doesn't have much
to do with the Unification Church.
-
It's a straightforward war movie that's
just boring and unremarkable.
-
It had some star power but only because
the actors in it were paid a lot of money.
-
Laurence Olivier admitted even
before the movie was released
-
that he was only in it for the money.
-
It was such a flop that nobody
bothered to release it on home media.
-
The only available version
of the movie today
-
is from an old VHS rip from when it
played on Unification Church TV channel.
-
The only thing worth seeing in this movie
is Laurence Olivier's makeup job.
-
I mean he looks like the Joker.
-
This movie is just tasteless.
-
it's based on a novel by Harold Robbins
-
who was paid 600 000 dollars
for the film rights
-
and apparently fell asleep
in the screening room
-
and never actually watched the movie.
-
First of all, in the first 15 minutes,
-
young Ray Liotta,
in his first ever movie role,
-
sexually assaults the main character
with a garden hose.
-
After that the rest of the movie
is just her being forced to have sex
-
with gross older men
in order to get ahead in Hollywood.
-
And you see all of it.
-
It seems like it was trying to criticize
sexism in Hollywood
-
but instead of handling it
with nuance or respect
-
the movie fully shows the sex scenes
-
and does the very thing
it's trying to critique.
-
The final scene of the movie shows
her winning an Oscar for Best Screenplay
-
and calling out the men
who took advantage of her
-
in her acceptance speech.
-
Then she's booed off stage, and leaves,
and the movie just ends there.
-
It's really uncomfortable to watch.
-
But somehow the next movie is even worse.
-
Ugh, god, ok.
-
Bolero is a movie by John Derek.
-
John Derek is—
(groan)
-
John Derek was an old Hollywood actor
-
who appeared in supporting roles in
several big movies in the 1940s and 50s.
-
In 1973 when Derek was 47 years old,
-
he traveled to Europe to direct
a low-budget movie called
-
"Once upon a Love" starring
a 16 year old girl named
-
"Mary Cathleen Collins".
-
During the production—
(retching)
-
I'm sorry.
-
During the production,
John Derek left his wife
-
and groomed Mary Collins
into a sexual relationship,
-
With the two staying in Europe
until she turned 18
-
so he could avoid
statutory rape charges.
-
When they got married a few years later,
she changed her name to Bo Derek
-
and proceeded to star in all of his movies
until he died in 1998.
-
(retching)
(vomit squelching)
-
I'm sorry.
-
So anyway, Bolero was a movie
about a young woman fresh from college
-
who travels to Morocco in Spain
to lose her virginity.
-
If that wasn't bad enough,
-
this movie features a full-frontal
nudity scene with a 14 year old girl.
-
Not an actress playing a 14 year old girl.
-
An actual 14 year old girl.
-
(retching, vomit squelching)
(coughing)
-
If you've never seen any
Rambo movies before
-
the image you probably associate
with the word "Rambo"
-
is the one where
hypermasculine Sylvester Stallone
-
is firing a machine gun
without a shirt on.
-
But see, that's actually from this movie,
"Rambo First Blood: Part II",
-
which has very little to do
with Part 1 at all.
-
The whole point of
the first Rambo movie is that
-
Rambo was a Vietnam War veteran
with severe PTSD
-
who snaps and kills a bunch of
small-time cops who treat him like shit.
-
This sequel, on the other hand
-
throws that tragic anti-war character
out the window
-
as the US government sends him
back to Vietnam
-
to locate prisoners of war
-
and Rambo is weirdly ok with that.
-
It's like he immediately got over his PTSD
-
and just got straight to blowing stuff up,
no problem.
-
This movie was
a massive box office success
-
and made double of what
the first movie made,
-
so naturally, Rambo III also ditched
the anti-war angle
-
and sent Rambo to Afghanistan.
-
I dunno if someone thought
the first movie was amazing,
-
it really sucks to see how quickly
they ruined this character.
-
But, like, I get it.
-
The people who went to see
these sequels in theaters
-
didn't watch it for the plot.
-
They watched to see
Sylvester Stallone do this.
-
(bow twang)
(explosion)
-
In the early 80s,
Prince was a rising star.
-
And his stardom was cemented in 1984
-
with the massive hit that was Purple Rain.
-
After the success of Purple Rain,
-
Warner Bros. told Prince he was allowed to
do whatever he wanted for his next project
-
greenlighting Under the Cherry Moon
without even reading the script
-
the story is, Prince plays a guy in
the French Rivier named Christopher
-
He and his friend try to
scam a girl out of her inheritance
-
but they both end up
falling in love with her.
-
A problem became apparent early on
-
when Prince hired someone with
no experience to write the script.
-
Then 16 days into filming,
the director quit.
-
And Prince took over even though he had
no experience directing a movie before.
-
The end result was a movie that features
what I can only describe as
-
Acting.
-
Don't try anything funny.
Not this time, Christopher.
-
I want the money or I throw
you both out onto the street.
-
(gasp)
-
That's right, [inaudible]
-
Throw me onto the street?
-
It's bizarre, it's one of
those movies where
-
the acting is so bad
it loops around to being funny
-
which has given it
a bit of a cult following over the years
-
that and the soundtrack is amazing
-
like with Purple Rain
-
Prince released an album with the movie
that went Platinum
-
and is today remembered as
one of his most iconic albums
-
After Under the Cherry Moon failed,
Prince tried one more time
-
to direct a feature-length movie
-
but that one got nominated
for a bunch of Razzies too
-
After that he gave up and
never tried to direct a movie again.
-
Also this here marks
the first ever tie in Razzies history
-
with Under the Cherry Moon tieing with
-
(laughing)
-
Howard the Duck.
-
(Evasive laughing)
-
Greetings, Evasive viewers,
it is I, young Junko, expert in Bird Law
-
and I'm here to defend
my client Howard T. Duck,
-
star of the Razzies' Worst Film of 1986,
Howard The Duck
-
For nearly the last 40 years
my client's reputation has been
-
tarnished and slandered against
-
by quack punch, chicken shit critics
for this tragic box office bomb.
-
Central character, the Duck, the one
that we're gonna be rooting for,
-
he's neither funny, or bit of funny."
-
But I'm here to clear the air.
-
Howard the Duck is not a movie,
no, it's a duckumentary.
-
I know this because I was there.
-
We all were.
-
My entire clan witnessed
my client crash land on Earth
-
to star in a motion picture
that of which has been
-
Um.
-
it's still awful. It's bad.
We're not winning this case, buddy.
-
I wasn't trying anything. Honest!
-
This is a strange movie to say the least.
-
Howard the Duck notoriously opens with 2 instances of
-
full frontal duck booba in the span of 30 seconds.
-
But the rest of the movie is this whiplash
-
between what's a squeaky clean full house type family movie
-
that no one older than the age of 3 years old would find funny
-
followed by things like Marty McFly's mom showing off her ass and
-
pulling off a condom for Howard's corkscrew.
-
Howard…
-
It's like anti-matter Shrek where they didn't know how to mix adult humor and a kids' flick properly yet
-
so it becomes this overly long bland comedy
-
with hardly any intentional laughs
-
that just happens to throw in something totally obscene every now and then
-
- [Howard] Oh!
- I just can't resist your
-
intense animal magnetism.
-
There's a lot of attempts at duck puns, most are just replacing a random phrase in a word with "duck"
-
"That's it. No more Mr. Nice Duck."
-
Even the director's name is Willard Hyuck.
-
That's a duck name.
-
That's a name you give a duck.
-
The first half of the movie has Howard
pointlessly meandering
-
there's no funny interactions or
observations or memorable bits
-
it's just an aimless movie
with the guy in the duck suit.
-
You have an entire portion of the movie
-
where Howard has a job
as a towel boy in a sex club
-
it's fun for the whole family!
-
Yeah, Breeders, what the hell.
-
Bareback bestiality and pedophilia.
-
Oh yeah, we find Howard getting a [?]
as a result of a [?] incident.
-
Leading to Palpatine
somehow returning from the dead
-
and possessing the body of that one actor
that's in every 80s movie
-
who'd later be arrested
for being a sex pervert.
-
What would you like to eat?
-
I no longer need human food.
-
[Junko] I need little boy butts.
-
You have a movie where
a talking duck fires a giant laser
-
at a hell portal to stop
a horde of alien warlords
-
from taking over the Earth
-
and they still manage
to make it a total snooze fest
-
They try to give Howard a bit of edge
-
but he still feels
too kiddy and sanitized
-
And part of that is his design.
-
He looks like a cross
of a Furby and MacCulkin.
-
There are some things I did like,
-
these alien overlords are cool
-
their design and stop motion
is really well done.
-
The sequence where
Howard gets shot into space
-
is pretty neat, pretty
impressive to look at.
-
I like this sequence where
Howard and [?] get a [?]
-
and start flying away from the cops
-
that was good.
-
Yeah, Tim Robins is in this
-
Imagine having what's considered
one of the best movies of all time
-
as part of your portfolio
-
and on the other end of the
spectrum, Howard the Duck,
-
now that's range
-
Genuinely I was taken aback
because some of the shots in this movie
-
undeniably go hard.
-
There's a version of this movie that
could've actually been good with less work
-
If they leaned into Howard being this
cynical, perverted wise-cracking duck
-
that's down on his luck,
who gets thrust into Earth
-
and finds this strange new realm
-
isn't so much different from his own.
-
Then it's all about the bills,
baby, put it on my belt
-
He could take it as an
opportunity for a fresh start,
-
slowly climbing the corporate ladder
-
until becoming a national celebrity
-
that gets caught up in 80s
consumerism and greed
-
then have him begrudgingly involved
in weird sci-fi fantasy stuff
-
like the comics, I dunno.
-
I'm not sure how to defend my client.
-
Give him the chair.
-
(Howard screams)
-
(Evasive laughing)
-
Alright, I may not have been
able to defend Howard,
-
but know this: from this day forth,
I will ensure every client of mine
-
is proven innocent.
-
Now for my next client,
I will be defending one Bill Cos-.
-
Bill Co-Bill Cosby.
-
Bill Co-Bill Cosby.
-
I'm good. Your Honor? I would draw.
-
We're done here. We're done.
-
It's Leonard, part 6.
-
Ask anyone who's seen
this movie, they'll tell you
-
that's when they first knew
lil' Bill was a real piece of shit
-
When I heard there was a comedy movie
that just started on part 6
-
That's funny, maybe this movie could be
bad in a good way, at the very least
-
Nope, it's just bad,
it's boring, it's so boring.
-
If there's one thing Cosby
was always a master at
-
it's making people very sleepy.
-
The whole thing is supposed to be
a spoof on the spy genre,
-
like Naked Gun, except it actually
came out a year before that movie
-
They just had the cameras rolling
and had Bill Cosby do whatever he wanted
-
There's a bunch of weird sex shit
-
I mean the clues are all there,
-
in the movie his wife divorced him
because he slept with a 19 year old
-
and his daughter is dating an older man
to further her career as an actress
-
Leonard has to see her
flash her tits on stage
-
for no reason, none of these scenes
add anything to the movie
-
Cosby just wanted to look
at some young girl tits
-
The whole film has this weird
lethargic and slow energy to it
-
Everything from the dialogue
to the editing,
-
it's like watching a movie at 0.5 speed.
-
The movie opens with
Leonard and an assassin
-
having a shootout in a kitchen
-
The joke is that what they're doing
is actually helping the food prep
-
Ok, could be funny but the pace of it all
is so bizarrely off by a step
-
Every gag and bit is like this,
like they took something that was
-
maybe a 3 out of 10 joke at best
and spread it so thin that
-
you ask yourself,
-
Was there even
a joke at all to begin with?
-
The plot follows Leonard
being the best agent
-
who's long retired, then
pulled back for one last mission
-
after a buncha animals
under mind control kill people
-
Again a god-awful 80s comedy starts
-
with an animal looking at a porno mag.
-
Here's two fucking nickels.
-
The first half is him just
stumbling around
-
trying to get back with his ex wife
-
who pours soup on him—
what is this gag?
-
Is this a fetish, Mr. Cosby?
You think this was genuinely funny?
-
[mocking] We'll have him pour soup.
-
Cosby doesn't have a single
funny line or hook to his character
-
you can tell he's put
zero effort into any of this
-
It's like he said "Yeah I'll do the movie
but I don't wanna look too stupid,
-
These so-called jokes are what the most
boring uptight person in the world
-
would think being silly is.
-
[mocking] Oh, look, wow
he's being a ballerina, so girly.
-
Oh, wow, he's doing a silly fitness tape,
how can he subject himself to that.
-
Oh, wee, it's like he thinks
these things are so beneath him
-
that just him doing it would be funny.
-
What a piece of shit.
-
What really makes me mad, though?
-
It's completely unfair. Because everyone
seems to be trying, but him.
-
In the end when Leonard tries to
free all the animals from captivity,
-
and I just wanna
recognize this bird right here.
-
Who in this 5 second shot, bends the bars
of his cage with his beak and breaks free
-
God bless this bird.
-
This bird put more effort
than Bill Cosby in his own movie.
-
This bird did not deserve to be
in one of the worst movies of all time.
-
None of these animals did.
-
This ostrich didn't deserve to be betrayed
-
with a sex criminal grinding
his pudding pop on its back.
-
If audiences in 1987 hated this,
watching it now,
-
with all the humor naturally diluted
even further to the passage of time
-
is like drinking a 40 year old
can of new coke
-
and when Bill's handing you a drink,
you probably shouldn't drink it.
-
(gurgling)
-
Cocktail is a movie where young Tom Cruise
plays a bartender in Manhattan.
-
He movies to Jamaica
and falls in love with a girl.
-
Then he loses her and moves back
to New York to win her back
-
That's pretty much it.
-
What you see is what you get
with this one.
-
It's a really mediocre movie.
-
Not that good, but not that bad either.
-
Well except for when Tom Cruise
stands on a bar
-
and reads his shitty poetry.
-
This is pretty cringey.
-
I see America drinking
-
the fabulous cocktails I make.
-
America's getting stinking
on something I stir or shake.
-
(laughing)
-
I make drinks so sweet and snazz-ay,
-
iced tea the kamikaze,
-
(hollering)
-
the sex on the beach
is Schnapps made from peach
-
the ball and hammer
the Alabama slammer!
-
Unsurprisingly with Tom Cruise starring,
this movie was a massive success,
-
earning a ridiculous 171 million dollars
on a 20 million dollar budget.
-
It's also the movie the Beach Boys
"Kokomo" song was written for.
-
Besides that, not much to talk about here.
-
I'm pretty sure it only won Worst Picture
because this was the year
-
Rain Man was favored to win Best Picture.
-
The voters must have thought it was funny
to make the Best and Worst Picture
-
be Tom Cruise movies.
-
Ok before making this video,
I hadn't watched any Star Trek at all.
-
But because I'm committed to my craft,
I went and watched all 6 original movies
-
just to understand why this one
is considered the worst.
-
After all that, I—
-
Yeah. I get it now.
-
It's not a horrible movie but especially
compared to the previous films,
-
Star Trek V is pretty bleh.
-
Pretty much everything went wrong
behind the scenes.
-
William Shatner directed it
with no prior experience.
-
Nobody could agree on anything
during the writing process,
-
There was a writers' strike.
-
Then a Teamsters strike.
-
They shot a lot of the movie
in the Mojave Desert,
-
which is as miserable as it sounds.
-
After the filming was done, they only had
3 months to make the special effects,
-
and all the best effects technicians
in Hollywood were busy working on
-
Indiana Jones 3
and Ghostbusters II at the time.
-
Do I think this movie
deserved Worst Picture? No.
-
It does some wacky things like
introduce Spock's long-lost brother
-
that he never mentioned before
-
Or show Kirk getting mauled
by a cat woman.
-
Overall I really don't think it's that bad
-
Though I'm not a Trekkie who had to see
-
Captain Kirk show up on the Enterprise
in a "Go climb a rock t-shirt"
-
So…
-
I mean…is that bad?
-
I actually don't know.
-
Can someone in the comments tell me
if that's bad, if that's out of character?
-
Should I be mad
at this or not?
-
The Adventures of Ford Fairlane was a
-
"comedy" starring Andrew Dice Clay.
-
If you don't know who Andrew Dice Clay is,
-
he was a comedian most active
in the late 80s and early 90s
-
who was known as the Dice Man,
-
which was basically a cover to tell
the most offensive jokes possible.
-
And they're always on parade.
-
They march down the street
with t-shirts and flags
-
'I want money for AIDS disease.'
Beautiful.
-
I want money for a fucking car,
I ain't marching up and down the street
-
Get a job, butt slammer.
-
[Evasive] The movie itself
is about a detective, I guess,
-
I dunno, it's just not funny at all.
-
I was on my phone the whole time
because I was just so bored.
-
- I got something serious to discuss.
-
Yeah, what is it, premature ejaculation?
(laughing)
-
We were at our parents'
wedding anniversary,
-
and I told that joke,
-
'What's the definition of vagina?
-
The box that peanuts comes in!' (laugh)
-
Gilbert Godfrey plays
the only funny character in the movie
-
but he dies like 25 minutes in
and the rest is just a boring mess
-
that's impossible to follow.
-
The director Renny Harlin was also
working on Die Hard 2 at the time
-
which came out in theaters
at the same time as Ford Fairlane
-
and when you compare the money
between the two movies.
-
Yeah, it's obvious which movie
he cared about more.
-
Clint Eastwood.
-
I fucked him. Oh!
-
[Evasive] 1990 was another tie
-
with Ford Fairlane tieing
with another movie
-
from unapologetic
pepophile John Derek.
-
In this one, Bo Derek plays a woman
married to a much older man
-
and when the older man dies,
his ghost takes up residence in her head
-
and goads her into murdering a man
-
so he can possess his body
and have sex with her again.
-
It's a supernatural dirty old man movie
-
where John Derek fantasizes about
-
living rent-free in Bo Derek's head
after he dies.
-
Plus this ended up being his last movie.
-
It would be poetic
if it wasn't so disgusting.
-
Bo was very very young.
Linda was very young…
-
I guess I just meet them young,
-
before they're wise enough
to know I'm not the guy.
-
Anyway the acting is bad,
the story is bad,
-
the visuals are bad,
-
but the real cherry on top is: this movie
-
was the first film appearance
of Donald Trump.
-
No joke, Trump's first movie
was made by a pedophile.
-
He even does a little duck face in it,
look at him.
-
Poetic.
-
Just watch this clip.
-
Woah!
-
Happy [inaudible]
-
Oh no! How am I driving?
1800-I'm gonna-fucking-die!"
-
[Evasive] Bruce Willis plays
a master burglar fresh out of prison
-
who was blackmailed into stealing some art
-
but it's all part of a conspiracy
to build a secret machine
-
invented by Leonardo Da Vinci
that can turn lead into gold.
-
At this point in his career, Bruce Willis
was mainly known for Die Hard 1 and 2,
-
and was looking to branch out
with Hudson Hawk.
-
Apparently he couldn't decide
what he wanted it to be.
-
In an interview,
one of the writers later said:
-
I knew we were in trouble
-
when Joel and Bruce
would say
-
You know what this is?
This is a Pink Panther movie.
-
The next day they'd say
-
You know what this is? This is an
American James Bond movie.
-
Then it would be:
This is North by Northwest.
-
I even remember someone saying:
-
You know what this is?
This is Casino Royale.
-
Eventually I realized, if every day they
were saying it was something different
-
once we got to the editing room,
we were gonna be in trouble.
-
So yeah, the final product
is all over the place.
-
But he movie developed
a bit of a cult following
-
just because it's so…so silly
-
(screaming)
-
- Honey?
- (screaming)
-
Ball ball?
-
Woof!
-
(dog screaming)
-
Here's another movie
that's really not that bad.
-
It's a World War II spy movie where
Melanie Griffith is a half Jewish woman
-
with no spy experience
who signs herself up to be a spy in Berlin
-
because she wants to prove herself and
save her Jewish cousins who are in hiding.
-
Michael Douglas plays another spy
-
and pre-Schindler's List
Liam Neeson plays a Nazi officer.
-
Most complaints about the movie
were aimed at
-
how unbelievable
Melanie Griffith is as a spy
-
because she was really bad at her job.
-
Like "spilling soup on Liam Neeson and
taking the German kids she's nannying
-
to the building her cousins are hiding in"
kind of bad
-
But overall it's not that awful of a movie
-
because the plot holes
and writing problems
-
are balanced out by a good soundtrack
and good cinematography
-
It's just average.
-
Not bad enough to be memorable
-
but not good enough
that you'd ever watch it again.
-
The cinematic equivalent
of eating at Denny's.
-
I think 1992 was just a slow year
for bad movies in general.
-
That same year they also
nominated Newsies for Worst Picture
-
and Danny DeVito for
Worst Supporting Actor
-
like…what? Why? How?
-
What?
-
Once again, this is a movie
that's not that bad.
-
It's a drama where
Woody Harrelson and Demi Moore
-
play a financially struggling
married couple in Vegas
-
and Robert Redford is a filthy rich guy
-
who offers the couple 1 million dollars
-
for a 1 night stand with Demi Moore.
-
Honestly, it's fine.
-
It takes itself very seriously
and it's vaguely misogynistic at points.
-
Also it's completely unbelievable that
a man who looks like Robert Redford
-
would pay a million dollars
to sleep with someone.
-
But in the context of the movie it works.
-
Definitely not the
worst movie of the year.
-
You're telling me that Indecent Proposal
-
won Worst Picture but Mr. Nanny
wasn't even nominated?
-
Razzie voters were asleep
at the wheel this year.
-
In this one Bruce Willis plays a
psychologist who can't see the color red
-
who gets wrapped up
in a murder after his colleague
-
gets killed Assassin's Creed-style
-
and he suspects someone
in his therapy group.
-
I'm so confused why this
was even nominated for Worst Picture
-
because this wasn't a bad movie at all.
-
It's surreal and weird, sure,
but it's in a Twin Peaks style of way
-
where it's still unsettling
and fun to watch.
-
Definitely a 6.5 out of 10 movie for me.
-
Maybe a 7 out of 10 I dunno.
-
Another one that became a cult hit
after home video release.
-
Partly because of this crazy sex scene
in a pool that everybody wanted to see
-
It was even streaming
on Criterion Channel at one point
-
which basically means
that it's certified art.
-
That's all I have to say.
-
I dunno guys, some of these 90s movies
aren't bad enough to complain about.
-
There's a lot to be said about Showgirls.
-
First of all, Director Paul Verhoeven
-
was the first to accept
his Razzie award in person.
-
And that's kind of funny.
-
And I'm very happy
because it was much more fun
-
than reading the reviews in September.
Thank you so much.
-
(clapping, cheering)
-
Second of all, Showgirls isn't bad.
-
It's actually a great movie,
in my opinion, and a lot of people agree.
-
It is a wild movie about the world of
high budget Las Vegas strip shows
-
Obviously with subject matter like that
-
you're going to view it very differently
-
depending on your gender and sexuality.
-
But regardless of what kind
of person you are
-
the experience of watching this movie
is an absolute rollercoaster.
-
One. Two. Three.
-
Thrust it. Thrust it. Thrust it!
-
Come on, thrust it.
-
But for as over the top as this movie is
it's also pretty true to life.
-
During his research,
writer Joe Eszterhas interviewed
-
over two hundred strippers in Las Vegas
-
and the result was a
shockingly straightforward depiction
-
of the lives of high profile
sex workers and performers
-
And a biting satire against
show business in general.
-
Take a look at these tits.
-
What are these, watermelons?
-
This is a stage, babes, it's not a patch.
-
See ya.
-
Your ears are sticking out. They are.
-
Come back and see me
when you get em fixed.
-
See ya.
-
Can you spell MGM backwards?
I bet you can't.
-
- MGM.
- I'm impressed.
-
Come back when you
fuck some of those baby fat off.
-
Now in today's era of gritty HBO dramas,
none of this is that shocking
-
but in 1995 this was next level stuff.
-
Plus with the subject matter,
this movie has a lot of nudity.
-
It was rated NC-17 in America
-
and to date it is the only NC-17 movie
ever given a wide release in theaters.
-
It was so explicit and controversial
-
that MGM had to hire security
at every movie theater in America
-
just to make sure nobody under
the age of 18 snuck into the theater.
-
The movie lost millions of dollars
-
and to this day, no studio has ever dared
-
to try and release an NC-17 movie
in theaters again.
-
If this sounds interesting to you,
I recommend giving this movie a watch
-
because I can't really do it justice
with just words alone.
-
Just know what you're getting into
-
because this movie is every bit
as traumatic as it is glamorous
-
And actually to prove to you
how much I like this movie, watch this.
-
Oh.
-
Oh.
-
I'm a showgirl.
-
I'm a showgirl, baby.
-
I'm a showgirl.
-
In the mid-90s
-
Demi Moore was one of the
biggest film stars in the world.
-
And the world was dying to know,
-
what do Demi Moore's boobs look like?
-
That's actually the only reason
this movie exists.
-
They paid Demi Moore 12.5 million dollars
-
the most any woman had ever been paid
for a movie role at the time
-
just so she would star in this movie
and show her boobs to the camera.
-
This movie is like if
Showgirls was actually bad.
-
Demi Moore plays an FBI agent who loses
her daughter in a custody battle
-
and then becomes a stripper in Florida
at the Eager Beaver
-
to pay for a court appeal.
-
She basically girlbosses being a stripper.
-
Not in a nuanced way
like Showgirls though.
-
But in a stupid way
that takes itself seriously
-
and is mostly boring
and not believable at all.
-
Despite bad reviews, the movie
ended up being a huge success
-
The director-writer-producer
Andrew Bergman
-
basically quit Hollywood after this movie
-
I'm pretty sure what happened is
-
once he got Demi Moore
to agree to go topless,
-
he just phoned in the rest of the movie
-
because clearly the audiences
weren't watching for the plot.
-
But what can I say?
-
That's showbiz, baby.
-
That's…that's showbiz, baby.
-
The Postman takes place
in a distant future year of 2013
-
after much of humanity
has been wiped out by a plague.
-
Kevin Costner,
who also directed the movie,
-
stars as a traveling Shakespeare performer
that's conscripted to Caesar's Legion
-
He escapes and finds
an old mail bag full of mail
-
and pretends to be a mailman
so he can get food
-
and accidentally restarts
the US postal service in the process
-
Also it's almost 3 hours long.
-
Honestly, as far as post-apocalyptic
adventures go, this one isn't that bad.
-
It's about the same level of quality
as Waterworld, actually.
-
But the fact that it was a 3 hour long
Kevin Costner vanity project,
-
released just a week after Titanic,
-
made it a very easy target for critics.
-
What is Kevin Costner even up to,
these days?
-
(typing) Kevin Costner.
-
I mean, hey. Good luck Kevin.
-
If you aren't familiar,
the name Alan Smithee
-
is a fake name
the Director's Guild came up with in 1968
-
that directors who took
their name off a movie
-
were required to use instead.
-
And this movie caused such a headache
-
that the Directors' Guild
had to officially stop allowing
-
the use of the Alan Smithee
name in movies.
-
This movie was written by Joe Eszterhas
-
and was directed by Arthur Hiller.
-
It's a mockumentary about a guy
whose name was actually Alan Smithee
-
who directs an action movie
but he hates the finished product
-
so he steals the film reels
and holds them ransom
-
because he wasn't allowed
to take his name off.
-
Now behind the scenes in real life,
-
Joe Eszterhas was in charge of
cutting Burn Hollywood Burn
-
and when Arthur Hiller
saw the final version
-
he hated it so much
he had his name taken off the movie
-
But this of course created a confusion
-
because this was a movie
about Alan Smithee
-
and the poster said it was
directed by Alan Smithee
-
which you would assume was just a joke
-
but no, the director actually
had his name taken off the movie.
-
It would take me so long to explain
everything that's wrong with this movie
-
so let me sum it up in four words.
-
Not funny.
-
Didn't laugh.
-
There's way too many characters,
-
the movie jumps all over the place
-
Harvey Weinstein is in it.
-
"Eew."
-
There's lots of not funny parts
where the camera freeze frames
-
and there's a wall of text on screen.
-
I'm guessing what happened is
they filmed all these scenes separately
-
and thought they were hilarious on set
-
but during editing, they
realized they had nothing to work with
-
so Joe Eszterhas tried to salvage it
by adding a bunch of text edit jokes
-
which actually made the movie worse.
-
I have no proof of this
but it seems right to me.
-
I'd probably do the same thing
in that situation.
-
Ok so this is a Western
steampunk fusion movie
-
starring the Fresh Prince and the guy
who plays Mr. Fischoeder in Bob's Burgers
-
as cowboy government agents
-
hunting down an evil
ex-Confederate officer with no legs
-
who kidnaps President Ulysses S. Grant
with a giant robot spider.
-
That's what this movie is.
-
(hooting)
-
(trilling)
-
This movie is ridiculous.
-
I don't know what the executives
at Warner Bros. were snorting
-
when they decided
to spend over a 170 million dollars
-
on a movie where cowboy Will Smith
fights a huge mecha spider
-
but thank god they did
-
because Will Smith turned down playing
Neo in the Matrix to do this movie.
-
I want you to imagine now
if Will Smith played Neo in the Matrix.
-
(laughing)
-
I probably would have
messed the Matrix up.
-
I would've ruined it.
-
So I did y'all a favor.
-
This might not be a "good" movie
-
but oh my god it's so funny.
-
Plus the theme song is pretty fire.
-
If I may quote one of the great
gangster rappers, William 'Will' Smith,
-
(nonchalantly) wicki wild wild,
wicki wicki wild
-
wicki wild,
wicki wicki wild wild wild west.
-
wicki wild, wicki wicki wild wild west.
-
Do you find those lyrics inspiring?
-
I mean, I…
-
Battlefield Earth is
an action sci-fi movie
-
based on a novel written by
L. Ron Hubbard, the founder of Scientology
-
which he wrote in 1982
-
when he was in hiding to avoid
going to prison for his numerous crimes.
-
It's about a distant future world
-
where humanity has been enslaved
by aliens called "psychlos"
-
which are a very obvious metaphor for
-
L. Ron Hubbard's vitriolic
hate of psychiatrists.
-
John Travolta, who plays
the evil alien leader named Turl
-
and has been a scientologist since 1975
-
is directly responsible
for this movie existing.
-
The production company
-
was later found to have defrauded
investors out of 31 million dollars
-
by overreporting production costs
-
causing a lawsuit that forced the company
to go bankrupt and shut down in 2007.
-
On top of that, the movie
was a massive financial flop
-
not just because the movie
and its John Travolta action figures
-
were an obvious Scientology
recruitment tactic
-
but because the movie itself
was a visual nightmare.
-
The special effects are ugly,
-
the costumes are disgusting,
-
and the whole movie was filmed
with crooked angles
-
that changed multiple times a scene.
-
which gave a bunch of people
motion sickness.
-
It's a really infamously bad movie
-
that's been covered by many
other channels over the years
-
so if you want more info,
go watch one of those videos.
-
Just don't watch the movie itself.
-
It'll do nothing but make you nauseous
and waste two hours of your time.
-
I'm serious, you guys, don't do it.
-
I'm sorry, you guys, conflict of interest,
-
I can't talk about Freddy Got Fingered.
-
One of my friends and I watched this movie
four times during quarantine
-
and we kinda bonded over it.
-
Now this movie
has a special place in my heart.
-
"Aw."
-
So I made Nikki watch it instead.
-
She's never seen it before.
-
And here she is now.
-
Where the hell do I even
begin with this movie.
-
Part of me thinks this movie is
some kind of deep anti-comedy
-
meant to satirize the
other gross out comedies
-
that were popular in the early 2000s
-
and the other part of me thinks
that maybe it means nothing at all.
-
I mean any normal human being
-
will read a title like
-
Freddy Got Fingered
-
and run away in the opposite direction.
-
What the fuck
is that supposed to mean?
-
But to put it simply, this movie
is about a 28 year old man
-
Stop it, stop it, Mom,
I'm a 28 year old man.
-
Hey, baby, he's a 28 year old man.
-
His name is Gord and
he moves to LA to be a cheese worker.
-
And also to pursue his dreams
of being a professional animator.
-
Seems pretty simple, right?
Seems pretty cut and dry?
-
But that's where you'd be wrong.
-
Because so very many things
happen in this movie
-
that are beyond human explanation.
-
Just to name a few,
-
Tom Green jerks off a horse
-
he swings a baby around
by its umbilical cord
-
Tom Green walks around in a deer carcass
-
And he goes scuba diving
in his own toilet.
-
- Get out of that toilet!
- (bubbling, gurgling)
-
But at the risk of sounding
clinically insane
-
and demented
-
there are moments in this movie
that I find kind of relatable.
-
Like this one where the CEO
of an animation company
-
tells Gord that he doesn't
like his drawings.
-
- It sucks.
-
And so he immediately sticks a gun
in his mouth and starts screaming.
-
Characters are lame, I'm a loser
-
I wish I was dead.
-
- (screaming)
- Wait, wait.
-
What makes this even funnier
is that once he receives validation,
-
he takes the gun out of his mouth and acts
like none of that ever happened at all.
-
Sir I can't work on this all day, I got
a job at the cheese sandwich factory.
-
If you're mentally ill, and make art,
this is the film for you.
-
It's time I get a job
and do something with my life
-
instead of acting like
a little baby.
-
I can't think of anything to draw
because I'm so stupid.
-
I'm so stupid.
-
And this movie surprised me
in so many different ways
-
For one, it made me laugh
way more than I anticipated.
-
Can't you see we're both
just a couple of stupid idiots.
-
- Gord…
- (mocking) Gord! Gordie!
-
It was also weirdly based at times.
-
I say weirdly because the early 2000s
was a derogatory fever dream.
-
It was like running thru the perfume
department in SpongeBob
-
but the perfume was slurs.
-
Gord ends up asking out
this nurse named Betty
-
and she says yes, but afterwards
he finds out that she's in a wheelchair.
-
At first I was like, oh shit,
it's about to get really ableist in here
-
Lel-lel-lel.
-
I was truly prepared for the worst.
-
But my expectations were
completely subverted when Betty ended up
-
not only being the smartest
person in this whole movie
-
but her and Gord remain in
a relationship for the rest of the film.
-
- I have a bag of jewels for you.
- Gord…
-
- They're jewels, Betty.
They're jewels.
-
Another interesting thing to me is that
-
Betty constantly wants to
-
give Gord a blowjob.
-
Here me out dude!
-
She asks him this
so many times in the movie,
-
that it comes off as
very obviously satirical.
-
Gord, I don't care about jewels,
I just wanna suck your cock
-
My life's a little hectic,
-
I'm having trouble concentrating
with all the skateboarding…
-
- You sucking my penis all the time
- (chuckling)
-
Again, my expectations were subverted
-
by Gord being the one who repeatedly asks
if they can just go out on a date.
-
I just think if we went out
on at least one date
-
and you didn't do any sucking right now
-
that would make the whole
sucking to date ratio
-
far more balanced, you know?
-
This could be a play on the trope
of male protagonists in comedy especially
-
being obsessed with sex
-
And not only that but women
being ultra sexualized in these movies.
-
Not all the subversion in this movie
is good, though, necessarily.
-
If you were wondering
how the movie got its title,
-
I shit you not,
about 50 minutes into the film,
-
Gord frames his dad
for "fingering" his brother.
-
At least I don't touch Freddy.
-
He fingers him.
-
His brother who is like 25
and doesn't even live with them.
-
- He's a molester!
-
He's a child molester!
-
But CPS literally goes into his apartment
-
and takes him to the molestation hospital.
-
Is this shocking?
-
Uh, yes.
-
I don't know if it's shocking compared to
the other things in this movie.
-
(screaming)
-
Is it in poor taste?
-
Uh…luhh…luhh…
-
Maybe.
-
But this whole framing of the fingering
-
is the canon event that
leads to the finale of the film.
-
When Gord pranks his dad by
-
abducting him in the middle of the night
and taking him to Pakistan.
-
You're fucking dead.
-
They could write books
and novels and college theseses
-
about everything else that happen
between then and the ending
-
but just know that this movie
ends with Gord and his dad
-
being covered in elephant cum
-
(elephant trumpeting)
-
Speaking of which,
there's an elephant in this room!
-
The elephant is that
I actually kinda like this movie.
-
Also the elephant is coming.
-
Is that so wrong?
-
And is it so wrong that maybe kinda
-
I might be attracted
to Tom Green in this movie?
-
Is it ok that he might be
the Pete Davidson of the 90s?
-
Shut up.
-
As far as career-ruining films go,
-
Tom Green took the failure
of Freddy very very well.
-
He even showed up
to accept his Golden Razzie.
-
He rolled out his own red carpet too.
-
- Well done you guys. Give him some space.
-
- Thank you so much!
-
- Can you grab that at the end?
-
Thank you very much.
-
Celebrate your successes
-
and your failures.
-
[Evasive] A remake of an Italian film
from 1974
-
Swept Away is a movie
where Madonna plays the dumbest
-
most unlikable rich woman in the world
-
who gets marooned
on an island with an Italian sailor
-
who hates her and sexually assaults her.
-
3 minutes after that
-
there's a time skip
and suddenly they're in love.
-
It's a nasty nasty nasty movie
-
and I don't even wanna talk about it.
-
It was so bad it caused
Madonna to give up on acting entirely.
-
It's a disaster. Absolute agony to watch.
-
Especially when you consider
the movie was directed
-
by Madonna's then-husband Guy Ritchie.
-
Madonna later divorced Guy Ritchie in 2008
-
but in my opinion, queen should've
divorced Ritchie on the spot
-
for even suggesting this movie.
-
[Madonna] Ugh. It was rough.
-
There's nothing glamorous about it.
You were really mean to me.
-
- I just want to slap you on camera.
-
Why, Mrs. Ritchie?
-
For those times you let Adriano
slap me and never yelled 'cut'.
-
[Ritchie] One more.
-
- those times they threw octopuses on me,
-
when you made me stay
in the freezing water
-
when you made me run down the sand dunes
-
and when you ate my food.
-
And you didn't pay me.
-
And you never said thank you.
-
(crying)
-
I'm not gonna lie, I was riding the high
-
of actually enjoying Freddy Got Fingered
-
when Gigli came in
and literally snuffed the life out of me.
-
Gigli is a movie.
-
It's about a mobster named Gigli
-
played by Benjamin, Benny Boy, Affleck.
-
Much like this review on Letterboxd,
-
I too hope Gigli kills himself.
-
Because not only does he abduct
a mentally challenged teenager,
-
and abuse him
while holding him for ransom,
-
What if I smack you
in the fucking head?
-
He's also just cringe.
-
Unforgivably so.
-
J.Lo. is also in this movie, unfortunately
-
and she plays this
other mobster or mobsterette
-
who is supposed to help him
take care of this mentally disabled kid
-
and she also just happens to be a lesbian.
-
It means I'm a lesbian.
-
Or should I say, the least
convincing lesbian in film history.
-
No lesbians were consulted
in the making of this movie.
-
Because what the fuck is this?
-
It's turkey time.
-
Huh?
-
Gobble gobble.
-
You may not be able to tell
-
because this is the weirdest way
I've ever heard anyone describe it
-
but she's talking about eating pussy here.
-
I really don't know who told J.Lo.
-
or whoever wrote this script
-
that lesbians call that turkey time.
-
But whoever it was deserves
to be taken out behind a barn and shot.
-
Of course Gigli doesn't
respect her sexuality.
-
Your girlfriends, they're at
a natural disadvantage.
-
They might try hard
but they're not just backed up
-
by millions of years
of genetic engineering.
-
He whines and complains
throughout the whole movie about
-
Oh, it's not fair, she's a lesbian
but I'm attracted to her.
-
And I wanna be with her.
-
You know why I'm fucking sad?
I've got this fucking
-
beautiful, sexy, gorgeous
heartthrobba-rama
-
fucking smart, amazing, bombshell
-
17 on a fucking 10 scale girl
-
sleeping on the bed next to me.
-
She's a stone cold dyke.
-
A fucking untouchable,
unaffable, unattainable
-
brick wall fucking dykossaurus rex.
-
(mocking) Eugh…eugh…
-
And after enough complaining, Ricki starts doing deeds with him.
-
It's not like this is realistic at all in anyway,
-
but in the hypothetical scenario
-
where for some reason a lesbian had sex with a guy
-
it would not be with this guy.
-
He's always like licking his teeth and shit.
-
But luckily there's not just lesbian cringe,
-
This ain't fucking lesbian talk circle time!
-
There's also plenty of heterosexual cringe.
-
God bless you penis.
-
And gay cringe.
-
I'm not gay!
-
Despite this movie literally being about mobsters,
-
nothing mobster-related really happens in this movie until the last 30 minutes
-
where for some reason Al Pacino is here.
-
You piece of shit!
-
I'm sure this is Al Pacino's favorite role of all time
-
right up there next to Jack and Jill.
-
Ok, come on, low bat it here pitcher, we got em.
-
Ho!
-
- Ho!
-
But to give it to you straight,
-
the movie ends with Gigli leaving the mentally disabled kid
-
on a random beach with the cast of Baywatch.
-
And it's literally played out like it's supposed to be this inspirational thing.
-
Like a tearjerker or something.
-
(inspirational music)
-
Meanwhile, Gigli and Ricki ride off into the sunset
-
just as she's telling him that he should wear some makeup.
-
You know I bet you'd look awesome in some mascara.
-
Do not watch this movie.
-
You will get a UTI.
-
Or that other thing.
-
[Evasive] Ok first of all this movie is Catwoman in name only.
-
Despite being a DC comics movie,
-
the Catwoman of this movie has nothing to do with the Catwoman from Batman.
-
This character has a different name
-
lives in a different city
-
and gets her cat superpowers from a magic cat burping in her mouth.
-
It's just so stupid, it's actually really fun to watch.
-
Especially the CGI Halle Berry during the action scenes
-
it's so funny.
-
As you might expect this movie bombed hard
-
probably because they put it in theaters
around the same time as Spiderman 2.
-
(laughing)
-
(laughing)
-
It's a pretty infamous superhero movie now
-
and the director Pitof was basically laughed out of Hollywood
-
and never directed a movie again.
-
But Halle Berry embraced this movie was a flop
-
and she even showed up in person to accept her Razzie award.
-
First of all I wanna thank Warner Bros.
-
(crowd laughing)
-
Thank you for putting me in
a piece of shit god-awful movie.
-
(crowd laughing, cheering)
-
(Berry cheering)
-
Dirty love is a…
-
"comedy",
-
created by Melissa McCarthy's cousin,
-
notorious anti-vaxxer and Masked Singer judge, Jenny McCarthy.
-
She stars as a woman who gets dumped by her boyfriend and her life falls apart.
-
It's really unhinged but not in a funny kind of way.
-
More in a "I'm born uncomfortable and I wanna leave the room," kind of way.
-
I actually had a hard time finding clips of this movie online
-
because it's pretty obscure and nobody likes it.
-
It's mostly badly delivered jokes and gross out humor
-
with a feminine spin.
-
And by feminine spin
I, of course, mean period jokes
-
Like this scene where a bleeding Jenny McCarthy
-
goes to the grocery in a white skirt
and no underwear
-
and almost bleeds out on the floor.
-
You know, relatable comedy for women.
-
Just girly things.
-
Hashtag just girly things.
-
Just girly things.
-
It's a girly thing so you wouldn't understand, boys.
-
It's a girly thing.
-
Hashtag just girly things.
-
It's a girly thing, it's a girly thing.
-
(sing-song) Hashtag just girly things.
-
So this is a sequel to Basic Instinct
-
an erotic murder mystery thriller from the early 90s
-
that's maybe best remembered for this scene
-
where Newman from Seinfeld sees Sharon Stone's
-
bare, uncensored pussy in an interrogation room.
-
The original was nominated for a few Razzies in its day
-
but it was a massive box office hit
-
and is today remembered as a pretty solid neo-noir thriller.
-
Now, Basic Instinct 2 on the other hand only exists
-
because Sharon Stone was promised 14 million dollars to star in the movie.
-
When the producers tried to cancel it,
-
she sued them to force them to make it.
-
Don't take it so hard.
-
Even Oedipus didn't see his mother coming.
-
It's hard to talk about this movie without spoiling the original a bit.
-
But I will say that overall I didn't hate this movie.
-
But I also barely remember the plot
and I only saw it a couple of months ago.
-
It rehashes a lot of the same story beats and plot points as the original,
-
just not as good.
-
Would I call it a terrible movie?
-
No, not really.
-
Compared to the original,
it's pretty bland and forgettable.
-
But that's what happens when you make
a movie just to avoid a massive lawsuit.
-
Gotta love showbiz, baby.
-
I Know Who Killed Me is a horror movie starring Lindsay Lohan
-
as a girl who is kidnapped by a serial killer
-
but survives and wakes up in the hospital saying she's someone else.
-
This movie was released in July 27, 2007
-
right at the peak of the tabloid frenzy about Lindsay Lohan
-
and her struggles with alcohol and drug addiction
-
there was a lot of attention on the movie while it was filming.
-
Especially because Lohan checked into rehab for the first time
-
a month into production.
-
The film set was so swarmed with paparazzi
-
that sometimes in the movie,
some were in the background.
-
Then a couple months
after filming wrapped,
-
Lohan was arrested for drunk driving.
-
Then on July 24th, just three days before the movie was released,
-
Lohan was arrested for drunk driving again
-
and couldn't attend the premiere.
-
All of this negative media attention made Lindsay Lohan
-
enemy number one in Hollywood.
-
Critics eviscerated this movie.
-
But in a year since its release,
-
this film has kind of become a cult classic with horror movie fans.
-
It's been screened in theaters many times over the last decade.
-
I've seen a lot of people online compare it to giallo movies,
-
an Italian film genre popular in the 60s and 70s
-
that mixed elements of murder movies, slashers, and erotica.
-
The influence of giallo is definitely present here.
-
It's a stylish weird thriller
-
and Lohan's background made her kind of perfect for the role
-
as the main character quickly transforms from a sweet high school girl
-
into a deeply traumatized woman with a robotic hand.
-
It's definitely not for everyone, myself included,
-
but if you're into weird gory horror movies,
-
there's a lot to vibe with here.
-
It's a much better movie than Norbit, that's for sure.
-
Have you ever seen Norbit?
-
Ooh!
-
Ah! Bitches!
-
(screaming)
-
(screaming)
-
The Love Guru is a movie
-
written by, produced by, and starring Mike Meyers
-
that's mostly remembered as the movie
-
that completely tanked his career
-
and caused him to step away from Hollywood for 8 years.
-
Critics and audiences both hated it.
-
With critics calling it
-
lazy, immature, mindless,
pitiable, insulting, painful,
-
gross, contemptuous,
racist, and unlikable,
-
among many other things.
-
But don't take their word for it.
-
Take my word for it.
-
I don't have any other words for it,
that sums it up.
-
This scene was in the trailer.
-
Woah! How did you get there?
-
(groans)
-
This little guy scared the crap out of me.
-
I might have to do a panty check,
-
might have some monkey mustard back there.
-
Who is this prick?
-
Shh.
-
Man, how do you do? Shrimp?
-
What did you call me, jagomoe?
-
I'm sorry I didn't catch your gnome—name!
-
You are a midget.
-
The plot of this movie is Mike Myers
-
plays a self-help guru named Maurice Pitka
-
who was raised in India
-
wears a chastity belt
-
and dreams of being on Oprah.
-
He's hired by the Toronto Maple Leaves
-
to help their star player get back together with his wife
-
because he is the Love Guru
-
and only he can save their marriage.
-
It's basically a one note movie
-
that feels like it was written by a 10 year old boy.
-
Every scene goes on for too long,
-
Mike Myers keeps laughing at his own jokes
-
and pretty much every line is about
-
poop, pee, farts, balls, or dicks,
-
with many of the characters' names being dick jokes.
-
We got Tugginmypudha,
-
coach Cherkov,
-
Le Coq,
-
Dick Pants,
-
(Evasive laughing)
-
It's not funny that John Oliver is named Dick Pants.
-
(laughing)
-
[Evasive] It's not… (laughing)
-
[Evasive] Ok, I'll be the first to say that
-
I don't think any of the Transformers movies are particularly good.
-
That being said,
-
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is definitely the worst one,
-
if only for how offensive and annoying it is.
-
Pretty much every Transformer introduced in this movie
-
either talks with a racist accent,
-
or the most annoying cartoon voice imaginable.
-
And when it isn't being annoying or racist,
-
it's doing shit like this.
-
Name's Wheelie. Hah…hah…
Say my name…hah…hah…
-
What are you allowing
to happen to your foot?
-
At least he's faithful, Sam.
-
Yeah, well, he's faithful,
and he's nude and he's perverted.
-
Hah…hah…hah…
-
(sighs)
-
Like is it any wonder Megan Fox quit the series after this?
-
Sadly this movie ended up making 836 million dollars
-
which was about a hundred million more dollars than Up made that same year.
-
- This is giving me a heart attack.
- 'Cause you was a wuss.
-
You forced me into that car, right?
-
Oh I think he scared.
-
Hey Mudflap. What we gonna do
with this shrimp taco?
-
Lemme pop a cap in his ass, throw him
in the truck, nobody gonna know nothing.
-
Why don't you get a haircut with your bitch ass?
-
What can I even say about this movie
-
that hasn't been said a thousand times already?
-
This live action trashfire directed by M. Night Shyamalan
-
attempted to condense the first season of an amazing animated TV show
-
into a 90 minute CGI-filled mess.
-
Maybe if you watch this,
-
having never seen the original series,
-
it's just another lame Hollywood fantasy action movie.
-
But for fans of the series, this was offensively bad.
-
The creators of the show
-
were not allowed to give any input on the movie's development.
-
Beloved characters were made one-dimensional and pointless,
-
major plot points were skipped over,
-
characters' names are pronounced wrong.
-
How do you even screw that up?
-
This movie made a lot of money
-
but was so hated by audiences
-
that Paramount must have known they couldn't fool people twice
-
and cancelled plans to adapt the other 2 seasons,
-
effectively sinking the career of the kid who played Aang before it even began.
-
It's just sad.
-
The whole movie is a sad waste of source material.
-
You'd probably have a better time playing the official Wii game
-
than watching this movie.
-
(vaguely Asian music)
(wheels skidding)
-
[Evasive] Ok, maybe not.
-
(dramatic, haunting piano)
-
Alright, Razzies, respectfully,
-
what the fuck?
-
I wouldn't call myself a Twilight fan,
-
I never read the books and I didn't watch the movies until recently,
-
but even I know that the last movie in the Twilight series
-
isn't that bad a movie.
-
It's ridiculous, sure, but out of all the movies in this series,
-
it's the most interesting and exciting entry aside from the first one.
-
Obviously they gave it Worst Picture as a sort of dig at the entire series,
-
since others hadn't won Worst Picture before,
-
but come on.
-
Breaking Dawn Part 2 is fun.
-
It's got a big fight scene on a frozen lake,
-
it's got a girl named Renesmee,
-
it concludes one of the most iconic
and stupid blockbuster series of all time.
-
It's so entertaining and over the top
-
even if you hate Twilight and everything about it,
-
you can't tell me this is worse than the Adam Sandler movie
-
where he shows a 13 year old impregnating his teacher.
-
You can't tell me that.
-
Because you'd be wrong.
-
Let me start this one off by
-
showing you the list of people who were involved in this movie.
-
That's not even all of them.
-
Movie 43 is a compilation of raunchy comedy sketches
-
each directed by different people.
-
Made on an impossibly cheap budget of 6 million dollars,
-
this thing took 3 whole years to film
-
because the producers worked around actors' schedules
-
to maximize how many famous people could show up in this.
-
The sketches themselves are a relentless
onslaught of dirty shock humor.
-
There's one where Hugh Jackman has balls on his face.
-
There's one where Chloe Grace Moretz spills period blood on the wall.
-
There's one where a horny cat pisses on Elizabeth Banks.
-
There's one where Kieran Culkin wants to leave a hickey on Emma Stone's vagina.
-
My personal favorite was the one where Anna Faris asks Chris Pratt
-
to poop on her during sex.
-
- So he takes some—
- Poop Viagra.
-
And then gets hit by car.
-
I love you, I wanna marry you.
-
Oh my god. Doug, no!
-
If you're feeling sadistic,
-
throw this on at your next bad movie night with friends.
-
It's got a little something for everyone.
-
I don't know what the hell Movie 43 even means.
-
But I'm in Movie 43, maybe I'm in Movie 44.
I don't know.
-
So if you're unfamiliar, Kirk Cameron was a child actor in the 80s
-
who took a hard right turn into Evangelical Christianity
-
and has since appeared almost exclusively
-
in low-budget Christian movies and radio programs.
-
Today, he's mostly known for his inflammatory publicity stunts
-
Like in 2020, when he organized maskless Christmas carols in LA
-
to protest COVID restrictions,
-
which he called "communism disguised as public health".
-
You know the type.
-
He's a nutcase,
-
and his movie had been dunked on a hundred times by YouTubers already
-
because for a while, this was the lowest-rated movie on IMDB,
-
with an average rating of 1.3 out of 10.
-
Which he claimed was the result of an atheist conspiracy on Reddit.
-
The whole movie takes place in one house
-
and almost every scene is him using weird circular reasoning
-
to explain how non-Christian Christmas traditions
-
had actually been Christian all along.
-
Like how Christmas trees were God's idea
-
because God created trees.
-
Or how the holiday isn't actually materialistic
-
because the ability to buy gifts
-
is God's gift to humanity.
-
It's just boring.
-
It's a very boring movie where nothing happens
-
and everyone is just sitting or standing around
-
not doing anything.
-
The only remotely entertaining part of the whole movie
-
is when all the extras have an epic dance party at the end.
-
♫ (Angels we have heard on high
remix) ♫
-
Fan-four-stic is a classic case of too many people having their hands in the same movie.
-
The writers disagreed on everything.
-
The director Josh Trank slept with a loaded gun on him
-
because he got death threats for casting Michael B. Jordan.
-
Fox executives had whole scenes cut out
-
and other scenes reshot without Trank's approval
-
because they thought his version was too dark.
-
Trank also put out a tweet before the movie came out
-
basically disowning it.
-
The end result of all of this
-
was an ugly, boring mess of a movie
-
where there's no real stakes or tension anywhere.
-
They don't become superheroes
until halfway thru the movie
-
Mostly they're standing around,
talking and not doing anything.
-
You can see the remnants of a decent movie,
-
like here where Miles Teller wakes up on a hospital bed looking like Lanky Kong.
-
But we'll never know what the movie was
supposed to be because nobody cares.
-
There's nobody out there saying
hashtag release the trank cut.
-
I want them to go see
just a really great movie.
-
Uh…something that is…uh…
different from…uh…
-
Dr. Doom is the…the top 5
greatest characters
-
that ever come off of a comic book
-
…uh…you know…panel.
-
Science is really cool and…this is
something that I think, you know
-
Uh…hopefully…umm…
-
So 2015 was another tie
-
with Fifty Shades of Grey also being awarded Worst Picture.
-
This is another movie where I"m like,
-
what can I possibly say about this that hasn't been said already?
-
It's based on an erotic novel that started out as a Twilight Fanfiction,
-
the stars have no chemistry
-
and nothing about their relationship is believable.
-
The movie spawned that Love Me Like You Do song
-
that's haunted retail workers for almost a decade now.
-
It's just a bad movie.
-
It's boring and bad and it made over 500 million dollars
-
so rather than repeat the same things
a hundred other YouTubers have said
-
I'll just leave you with a little mental image.
-
See, this movie came out on Valentine's Day 2015.
-
I want you to imagine all the thousands of couples
-
who went to see this on Valentine's Day.
-
I want you to visualize Kayllynn and Greg
-
from Sugar Land, Texas
-
who went to see this at the local AMC on Valentine's Day.
-
I want you to visualize Kayllynn giving Greg a dry handjob
-
in the back of the theater, 40 minutes into the movie.
-
Visualize them going to Applebees after
-
to eat a slightly burnt chicken breast
-
and some unseasoned broccoli.
-
I want you to visualize—
-
If you don't know already,
-
Dinesh D'Souza is a far-right political commentator
-
who's been releasing propaganda films every year since 2012.
-
He also pleaded guilty to campaign finance fraud in 2014
-
and was sentenced to 5 years probation.
-
During which, he made Hillary's America: The Secret History of the Democratic Party.
-
Released in the summer of 2016,
-
Hillary's America is a movie that claims it's a documentary
-
but aside from a few news clips and scripted-sounding interviews,
-
much of the movie is either historical reenactments
-
or D'Souza talking to terrible actors
-
and trying to pass it off as documentary footage.
-
The movie opens with D'Souza being sentenced for fraud
-
which he claims was a Democratic conspiracy to shut him up
-
and from there he goes to prison
-
and starts interviewing other prisoners about how gangs work
-
You know, gangs are
all about stealing, man.
-
What's the biggest gang?
-
Right in your face.
-
Politicians, man.
-
- How does a gang make money?
- Any way they can, you know?
-
Trafficking, smuggling,
stealing, extortion,
-
Yeah, but how do they pull it off?
-
Later on, he visits the Democratic National Headquarters
-
and it's all done up to look like a high-tech museum
-
for the glory of the Democratic Party.
-
Then he sneaks into the restricted part of the building
-
and breaks into the secret archives
-
to reveal the secret information
-
that is literally in the curriculum in 8th Grade US History.
-
Like, "Hey guys, did you know that most of the slaveowners in the Civil War were Democrats?
-
Wow, isn't that crazy? How come nobody's talking about this?"
-
The sad truth is this movie sold 13 million dollars worth of tickets when it came out.
-
Which means that hundreds of thousands of very gullible Americans saw this in theaters.
-
And many probably dragged their impressionable kids
-
when all they wanted to do was play
the new Pokémon Go that just came out.
-
It's depressing to think about.
-
2016 was a very dark time.
-
But I try to figure out how we get them to have Pokémon Go to the polls.
-
(cheering)
-
Hey guys, I'm sorry, I can't talk about the Emoji Movie.
-
You see, on a hot summer day in 2017, I actually saw The Emoji Movie in theaters
-
in a room full of screaming, sugared up children.
-
And if you think this movie looks bad enough on its own,
-
try watching it completely sober
-
while a 7 year old kicks the back of your chair the whole time.
-
I just can't relive the trauma of that day again.
-
So I pass this one off to the trash guy.
-
Young Junko. He was the best lawyer who ever lived.
-
But decidingly the hammer of justice made him his walnut.
-
And under the pressure, he cracked.
-
By his side, he had only left this note.
-
Sad face, cry face, trash can, water gun, squirt, sad face.
-
Watch the Emoji Movie in theaters for more info.
-
Emoji Movie is like the cinematic equivalent
-
of seeing an ad for Cricket Wireless on the side of the bus.
-
It's the same artistic merit.
-
It's hard not to look at this movie without
-
thinking of the evolution of 3D animation as a craft
-
in the last four years, the way the medium improved over time,
-
not just in fidelity, but the heartfelt boundary-pushing storytelling
-
that made animated characters come across as more tangible.
-
And exploring the worlds they inhabited in a surreal way,
-
and all that led to this, a movie about emojis.
-
On a kid's cell phone.
-
It's so impersonal, it's not like Toy Story,
-
where Andy and the Toys have a clear relationship.
-
In Emoji Land, you get scanned whenever the kid picks you for the text message.
-
Like why is this kid only texting in emojis?
-
He's like a little man slut.
-
The whole plot being, he wants to text a girl in his class,
-
and that's it. He has no connection to any of these main central characters,
-
they're just a button on his phone.
-
It's so pointless.
-
The world's not interesting at all.
-
The main character, Gene, is supposed to be the Meh emoji,
-
but he's malfunctioning, so he goes on a quest with Hand Emoji
-
and Jailbreak, an elite emo hacker girl emoji with blue hair
-
who can access the cloud and see all the Rule 34 of herself
-
made over the years.
-
- Oh!
- [Hand] Suck it in!
-
No, stop it!
-
[Junko] It's a movie made specifically for
-
loud drunk parents circa 2017 to take their iPad kids to
-
so they can run around the theater and pick their ass
-
while they shove a bunch of ads up their eyeballs
-
You've got whole scenes explaining Candy Crush,
-
Just Dance, and Spotify.
-
It's as shameless and corporate as an animated movie could possibly be.
-
I'm sure some belligerently wasted parent in the theater
-
howled with laughter as James Corden, Hand Emoji, said "Bye Felicia."
-
- Bye Felicia!
-
[Junko] I wouldn't know though, because the first time I saw Emoji Movie
-
was at 2 AM on a hacked Amazon Fire Stick
-
plugged into my friend's portable CRT.
-
That's just about the viewing experience this movie deserves.
-
[Evasive] But hey, for as much as a soulless cash grab that the Emoji Movie was,
-
there is one good thing about it.
-
And that's that it is inadvertently responsible
-
for causing Jordan Peele to make Get Out.
-
Holmes & Watson was the much anticipated reunion
-
between John C. Reilly and Will Ferrell
-
a duo that starred in a couple of smash hit comedies in the mid-2000s.
-
So when this movie released to atrocious reviews,
-
it left some people scratching their head wondering
-
how two guys who worked so well together before,
-
could fuck up a movie this bad.
-
And trust me, no matter what your sense of humor is,
-
this movie is bad.
-
It's not funny, at all,
-
not even a little bit.
-
It's just boring and hard to watch.
-
Right, I know. He's an onanist.
-
- Yes.
- What's an onanist?
-
He, let's see.
-
He pours his own tea.
-
He likes to create his own sauce.
-
He is a saucier.
-
And the name of his restaurant is Crotch Kitchen.
-
On a daily basis, he creams his own eclair.
-
[Evasive] The plot is impossible to follow,
-
the jokes fall flat on its face,
-
Not Synced
and some of the jokes were already dated
-
Not Synced
by the time this movie came out.
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Compared to Tallaadega Nights and Stepbrothers,
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everything about their delivery here just feels off.
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And the blame probably rests on writer-director Etan Cohen.
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Not to be confused with Ethan Coen.
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Etan Cohen is a writer who built a pretty decent resumé
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in the 90s and the 2000s
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and decided to branch out into directing
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with Get Hard in 2015.
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Holmes & Watson was his second attempt at directing
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and possibly his last
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because the movie just barely didn't break even.
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And since its release, Cohen seems to turn exclusively to writing.
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My theory is, the man didn't know how to direct Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly.
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He just got them together and assumed it'd be enough to carry the movie.
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Because the whole thing feels like he just dressed them up in Victorian Era clothes and said
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"Just do whatever you want. We'll edit it down to just the funny parts."
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And then surprise.
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None of it was funny.
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[Holmes] You know what I've found,
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to take the most attractive photographs,
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you need to purse your lips together like a duck-billed platypus.
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[Watson] Platypus face!
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Chins up!
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Hey!
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Hey, girl!
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Cats is a hilarious movie.
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It is so funny for all the wrong reasons.
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I saw this in theaters when it came out
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after a couple of very powerful weed gummies
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and it is an experience I will remember for the rest of my life.
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It's unlike any other movie ever made.
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It really is.
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♫ Wuddly-wah, wuddly-wah ♫
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It's dinner and a show.
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♫ Wuddly-wah, wuddly-wah ♫
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♫ A-dooba-dooba-doo ♫
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♫ Tak-pity-pak-pity-pak ♫
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Released at the tail end of 2019,
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Cats was an act of pure hubris from director Tom Hooper,
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who was well known in Hollywood at this point for directing
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the King's Speech, Les Misérables, and The Danish Girl.
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Well I guess Tommy Boy got pretty full of himself after all those award-winners,
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because for his next project, he proceeded to blow a hundred million dollars
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on a film adaptation of Cats: The Musical.
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Behind the scenes, Hooper rushed the movie out the door
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so it could release in time for Christmas.
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And in the process, treated the animators like complete shit.
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Anonymous sources later reported that Hooper knew nothing about animation,
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made them work 90-hour weeks for months,
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and was horrible, disrespectful, demeaning, and condescending
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toward everyone.
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One source said that Hooper talked to the animators
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like they were garbage
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and even compared their time working on cats to slavery.
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It's been a few years now since Cats released,
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and Tom Hooper hasn't been heard from since.
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So I think it's safe to say that those allegations were completely true
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and he won't be making a comeback any time soon.
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At this point, I'd like to play you a song from the movie
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but YouTube would probably demonetize me if I did that.
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So instead I'm gonna play you a public service announcement from the 80s.
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Accident? An accident?
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There was a child in the car.
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A child?
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Cats have 9 lives, children only one,
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help them live their life, buckle them into a car seat,
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no one wants a child to become a memory.
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♫ Memory, all alone in the moonlight. ♫
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So Absolute Proof is not a movie.
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For the first time in Razzie history,
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the Razzies gave Worst Picture
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to something that was not a movie.
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This is a 2-hour long special
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that aired on One America News in February 2021
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where Mike Lindell, the MyPillow guy,
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bought airtime to prove that the 2020 election was hacked by China,
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using statistics that were proven to be fake,
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and interviewing experts that don't have any real credentials.
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This special was also uploaded on YouTube,
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but was quickly taken down for spreading false information.
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I was hoping it would at least be unintentionally funny,
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but it's just really boring to watch.
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- It's mostly the MyPillow guy saying
- Woah.
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talking about voting data that was given to him by a fraudster.
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At one point, he brings out a guy who claims he invented e-mail.
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You know, from creating e-mail and all these systems.
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I know the power of machines.
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Yeah, he created e-mails. The creator of e-mails.
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I don't know, I don't have anything to say about this one.
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It's not a movie.
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So this is also not a movie.
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Diana The Musical is a Broadway show
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that was planned to open on March 31st, 2020.
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Obviously, that didn't pan out, but in summer of 2020
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they were able to get the cast together to make a recording of the show.
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With heavy COVID restrictions and with no audience, of course.
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Then, for some bizarre reason,
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they decided to release that recording
on Netflix on October 2021
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a whole month before the show reopened on Broadway.
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Obviously, this was the dumbest possible thing they could've ever done
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because why would anyone who wasn't a hardcore House Windsor stan
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pay over a hundred dollars for a Broadway ticket to this cringefest
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when they could just watch the cringefest for free at home.
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This show was a complete flop,
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performing to a half-full theater every night for a month,
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until the producer put the show out of its misery
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and cancelled it on December 19.
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Even if it hadn't been dumped on Netflix before it opened,
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it still would've probably flopped
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because it's every bit as tone deaf as the title suggests.
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The lyrics sound like a 14 year old girl saw Hamilton and Newsies a few times
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and was like, "Oh my gosh, I could do that too!"
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except it wasn't written by a 14 year old girl,
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it was written by a Tony Award-winning playwright in his 50s.
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Here is just a sample of some of the lyrics this show throws at you.
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♫ Alright, I'm no intellect. ♫
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♫ But maybe there's a discotheque ♫
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♫ where the prince could hear some Prince ♫
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♫ and we'd all get funkadelic ♫
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♫ You thought I was a ninny, ♫
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♫ you could mold me as you like. ♫
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♫ Well the skinny on that ninny ♫
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♫ is she's really rather bright. ♫
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♫ I just got a ticket to the main event ♫
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♫ It's the Thrilla in Manila but with Diana and Camilla ♫
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Directed by eccentric auteur Andrew Dominik,
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Blonde is the most recent Worst Picture as the time I made this video
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and probably the most controversial winner since Showgirls.
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It's a nearly 3 hour long, NC-17 rated movie
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about the life of Marilyn Monroe
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that takes extreme liberties with her life story
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as it's actually based on a historical fiction novel
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by Joyce Carol Oates.
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The reviews of this thing were all over the place.
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When it premiered at the Venice Film Festival,
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it received a 14-minute long standing ovation
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and early critic reviews were extremely positive.
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Then it released on Netflix a few weeks later
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and the drama started.
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On the positive end, the movie got praised for its stunning cinematography
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and for Anna De Armas' performance as Monroe.
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On the negative end, the movie was criticized for being
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exploitative, sexist, and dehumanizing,
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and for brutally depicting Marilyn Monroe
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as a helpless girl relentlessly abused by the Hollywood system
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when her real life story was much more complicated than that.
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And it certainly doesn't help that
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Andrew Dominik doubled down on it, after the film's release,
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saying, "Criticism only hurts if you agree with it,
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and I didn't agree with any of it.
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She's dead, the movie doesn't make any difference to her one way or another.
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What they mean is that the film exploited their memory of her, the image of her,
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which is fair enough. It does. That's the whole point of the movie.
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That's the whole problem with Marilyn Monroe.
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Everybody feels like they know her and what's best for her."
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I don't know about you guys,
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I could speak on this movie more,
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but I don't want to.
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This is the last movie on this list
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and I'm tapping out.
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I don't wanna see any of you in the comments saying,
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"Oh, Eva tapping out.
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Eva not giving her real opinion.
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You're being evasive.
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You can't do that."
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Thank god this is over.
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My eyeballs and my brain are absolutely fried right now.
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I don't have a single thought left in my head.
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But let me go ahead and summarize my thoughts
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by sorting all these movies into 4 categories.
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These categories are
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Boring Bad, Funny Bad, Not That Bad,
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and Crimes against Humanity.
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And there we go.
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I am Evasive,
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thank you for my Patreon supporters,
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thank you to all of you for watching,
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and thank you so much to my guests
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for contributing to this video.
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And hey, Razzie people, if you're watching,
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Hi.
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Invite me to the show sometime, maybe.
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Honestly I think you guys are a little cringey
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and you've made some very questionable decisions in the past
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but like…I don't care.
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In the meantime, we're going to do
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literally anything else besides watching movies.
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You know what I'm gonna do.
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I'm gonna look at some clouds.
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Ooh, and touch grass.
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Oh I can't remember the last time I touched grass.
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I'm gonna go outside, look at some clouds,
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and touch grass.
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Ok, bye guys.