-
What's up cinephiles,
I'm Evasive,
-
and this piece of paper right here
means two things:
-
Number one, I am tens of
thousands of
-
dollars in debt,
-
and number two, I know a lot
about movies.
-
Since the U.S government
isn't giving me any debt relief this year,
-
I have no choice now but to
torture myself on the Internet
-
for money to pay off the loans
-
I took out to go to film school.
-
So for this video, I watched every
movie that's ever won
-
a Razzie Award for Worst Picture
of the Year.
-
This was an extremely painful
experience
-
and I regretted my decision
immediately,
-
but for the sake of
my adoring fans
-
and my bank account,
-
I went ahead and watched
all 46 of these
-
movies so I could
explain them to you.
-
But after the grueling experience
of watching all these,
-
I'm not about to tackle this
breakdown alone.
-
So I went ahead and roped in
another video essay girly
-
and a talking trash can
-
to help explain some of these
movies for me.
-
But before I get to the movies,
-
let me explain what the Razzies are.
-
The Golden Raspberry Awards are
an annual event,
-
usually held the night before the Oscars,
-
to award the worst
movies of the year.
-
It was founded by Hollywood
copywriter
-
John Wilson and editor Maureen
Murphy.
-
The idea for the Razzies came
about in 1980
-
when Wilson saw Can't Stop
the Music and Xanadu, back to back
-
and hated them so much, that
there ought to be an award show
-
for this type of thing.
-
Months later, Wilson hosted an
-
Oscars watch party at his house,
-
and after the Oscars had finished,
-
he and Murphy passed out ballots
to everyone
-
for the worst movies of the year,
-
and then he announced the
winners.
-
Over time, the ceremony
grew and grew,
-
and today they're considered a staple
of the Hollywood award season
-
as a low-budget Bizarro World
Oscars
-
that distributes awards in
categories
-
such as Worst Actor, Worst Director,
-
and Worst Screenplay.
-
Unlike the qualifications for voting
at the Oscars,
-
becoming a Razzie voter
is very easy:
-
either be friends with
one of the producers
-
or just pay a $40 membership fee.
-
That's all it takes.
-
So that's the story of the Razzies.
-
Now are you ready to learn about
every single movie
-
that won Worst Picture?
-
Because I wasn't.
-
There's 46 of these things, so I'm
going to talk about each one
-
for just a minute or two
-
and hand off a few to my guests
-
so I don't completely lose my mind here.
-
Also, I put a content warning on a
bunch of these movies
-
because of the sensitive subject
matter I discuss.
-
Not trying to traumatize anybody
but myself in this video.
-
Well, me and my guests.
-
But I commissioned them for this,
so it-it's fine.
-
Anybody who can swallow 2 snowballs
and a ding-dong shouldn't
-
have trouble with pride.
-
The first movie to win Worst Picture was
Can't Stop The Music,
-
A movie about the "origins"
of the disco group Village People.
-
I say origins in air-quotes because
the Village People play themselves
-
and the plot is completely made-up
-
and not at all how the Village People
actually formed
-
The movie itself is super campy
and full of these crazy musical numbers
-
that are unironically kinda great.
-
It's just too bad that in between
those musical numbers are these scenes
-
with really terrible acting
that go on for way too long.
-
Wait a minute! I am not taking one
more step 'til I know where I'm going.
-
Yeah, quit my job, and you
got me walking the beat again!
-
- I'm not even getting paid for it!
- Hold your horses.
-
I told you I had a surprise for you.
-
I hope so. I turned in my
coin change with the toll booth.
-
It wasn't that awful, but by 1980
the disco fad was pretty much over and
-
people loved to hate on
disco music at the time
-
so you can see why this
ended up being such a huge bomb.
-
Also, shockingly, this movie marks the
first film appearance of Caitlyn Jenner
-
and apparently the experience was so bad
-
she didn't appear in a movie again until
Jack & Jill in 2011.
-
And, uh, well.
-
Mommie Dearest is a "biopic"
-
about the life of actress Joan Crawford's
adopted daughter Christina.
-
Again, I say biopic in air-quotes
because the movie was based on
-
Christina Crawford's controversial memoir
-
that other members of Joan Crawford's
family disavowed when it came out.
-
I haven't done much research on the topic
-
so I'm in no position
to question this story.
-
But I will say that after
the movie was made
-
Christina said the film was grotesque
and not true to her memoir.
-
Released just 4 years after
Joan Crawford passed away,
-
this movie basically spits all over
her fresh grave
-
and portrays her as a horrible mother
-
who frequently, physically and emotionally
abused her daughter.
-
Whether or not this is actually true
is still a matter for debate.
-
Regardless of the real-life circumstances
behind the movie,
-
Faye Dunway's performance
of Joan Crawford is iconic now.
-
People who have experienced
emotional abuse from a parent
-
found her performance
scarily true to their own life experiences
-
but general audiences thought
she was just being
-
outrageously campy and
over the top the whole movie.
-
Because of its reputation
-
the film accidentally
became a queer cult classic over the years
-
especially in the drag community.
-
It was even featured in the most
recent season of RuPaul's Drag Race.
-
"No wire hangers!"
-
♫ No more wire hangers ♫
♫ Ah, ah! ♫
-
♫ No, no, wire hangers ♫
♫ No, no, no, no ♫
-
[Evasive] Inchon is a movie about
the battle of Incheon in the Korean War.
-
It was financed and produced
by the Unification Church,
-
a movement that was and still is
considered a dangerous cult
-
with a leader who called himself
the second coming of Jesus Christ.
-
The film's producer was
a very wealthy member of the church.
-
He said he was instructed by God
to make the film.
-
So, unsurprisingly, no investors wanted
any part of this.
-
All 46 million dollars of the budget was
provided by the church and its followers.
-
The film itself doesn't have much
to do with the Unification Church.
-
It's a straightforward war movie that's
just boring and unremarkable.
-
It had some star power but only because
the actors in it were paid a lot of money.
-
Laurence Olivier admitted even
before the movie was released
-
that he was only in it for the money.
-
It was such a flop that nobody
bothered to release it on home media.
-
The only available version
of the movie today
-
is from an old VHS rip from when it
played on Unification Church TV channel.
-
The only thing worth seeing in this movie
is Laurence Olivier's makeup job.
-
I mean he looks like the Joker.
-
This movie is just tasteless.
-
it's based on a novel by Harold Robbins
-
who was paid 600 000 dollars
for the film rights
-
and apparently fell asleep
in the screening room
-
and never actually watched the movie.
-
First of all, in the first 15 minutes,
-
young Ray Liotta,
in his first ever movie role,
-
sexually assaults the main character
with a garden hose.
-
After that the rest of the movie
is just her being forced to have sex
-
with gross older men
in order to get ahead in Hollywood.
-
And you see all of it.
-
It seems like it was trying to criticize
sexism in Hollywood
-
but instead of handling it
with nuance or respect
-
the movie fully shows the sex scenes
-
and does the very thing
it's trying to critique.
-
The final scene of the movie shows
her winning an Oscar for Best Screenplay
-
and calling out the men
who took advantage of her
-
in her acceptance speech.
-
Then she's booed off stage, and leaves,
and the movie just ends there.
-
It's really uncomfortable to watch.
-
But somehow the next movie is even worse.
-
Ugh, god, ok.
-
Bolero is a movie by John Derek.
-
John Derek is—
(groan)
-
John Derek was an old Hollywood actor
-
who appeared in supporting roles in
several big movies in the 1940s and 50s.
-
In 1973 when Derek was 47 years old,
-
he traveled to Europe to direct
a low-budget movie called
-
"Once upon a Love" starring
a 16 year old girl named
-
"Mary Cathleen Collins".
-
During the production—
(retching)
-
I'm sorry.
-
During the production,
John Derek left his wife
-
and groomed Mary Collins
into a sexual relationship,
-
With the two staying in Europe
until she turned 18
-
so he could avoid
statutory (censor beep) charges.
-
When they got married a few years later,
she changed her name to Bo Derek
-
and proceeded to star in all of his movies
until he died in 1998.
-
(retching)
(vomit squelching)
-
I'm sorry.
-
So anyway, Bolero was a movie
about a young woman fresh from college
-
who travels to Morocco in Spain
to lose her virginity.
-
If that wasn't bad enough,
-
this movie features a full-frontal
nudity scene with a 14 year old girl.
-
Not an actress playing a 14 year old girl.
-
An actual 14 year old girl.
-
(retching, vomit squelching)
(coughing)
-
If you've never seen any
Rambo movies before
-
the image you probably associate
with the word "Rambo"
-
is the one where
hypermasculine Sylvester Stallone
-
is firing a machine gun
without a shirt on.
-
But see, that's actually from this movie,
"Rambo First Blood: Part II",
-
which has very little to do
with Part 1 at all.
-
The whole point of
the first Rambo movie is that
-
Rambo was a Vietnam War veteran
with severe PTSD
-
who snaps and kills a bunch of
small-time cops who treat him like shit.
-
This sequel, on the other hand
-
throws that tragic anti-war character
out the window
-
as the US government sends him
back to Vietnam
-
to locate prisoners of war
-
and Rambo is weirdly ok with that.
-
It's like he immediately got over his PTSD
-
and just got straight to blowing stuff up,
no problem.
-
This movie was
a massive box office success
-
and made double of what
the first movie made,
-
so naturally, Rambo III also ditched
the anti-war angle
-
and sent Rambo to Afghanistan.
-
I dunno if someone thought
the first movie was amazing,
-
it really sucks to see how quickly
they ruined this character.
-
But, like, I get it.
-
The people who went to see
these sequels in theaters
-
didn't watch it for the plot.
-
They watched to see
Sylvester Stallone do this.
-
(bow twang)
(explosion)
-
In the early 80s,
Prince was a rising star.
-
And his stardom was cemented in 1984
-
with the massive hit that was Purple Rain.
-
After the success of Purple Rain,
-
Warner Bros. told Prince he was allowed to
do whatever he wanted for his next project
-
greenlighting Under the Cherry Moon
without even reading the script
-
the story is, Prince plays a guy in
the French Rivier named Christopher
-
He and his friend try to
scam a girl out of her inheritance
-
but they both end up
falling in love with her.
-
A problem became apparent early on
-
when Prince hired someone with
no experience to write the script.
-
Then 16 days into filming,
the director quit.
-
And Prince took over even though he had
no experience directing a movie before.
-
The end result was a movie that features
what I can only describe as
-
Acting.
-
Don't try anything funny.
Not this time, Christopher.
-
I want the money or I throw
you both out onto the street.
-
(gasp)
-
That's right, [inaudible]
-
Throw me onto the street?
-
It's bizarre, it's one of
those movies where
-
the acting is so bad
it loops around to being funny
-
which has given it
a bit of a cult following over the years
-
that and the soundtrack is amazing
-
like with Purple Rain
-
Prince released an album with the movie
that went Platinum
-
and is today remembered as
one of his most iconic albums
-
After Under the Cherry Moon failed,
Prince tried one more time
-
to direct a feature-length movie
-
but that one got nominated
for a bunch of Razzies too
-
After that he gave up and
never tried to direct a movie again.
-
Also this here marks
the first ever tie in Razzies history
-
with Under the Cherry Moon tieing with
-
(laughing)
-
Howard the Duck.
-
(Evasive laughing)
-
Greetings, Evasive viewers,
it is I, young Junko, expert in Bird Law
-
and I'm here to defend
my client Howard T. Duck,
-
star of the Razzies' Worst Film of 1986,
Howard The Duck
-
For nearly the last 40 years
my client's reputation has been
-
tarnished and slandered against
-
by quack punch, chicken shit critics
for this tragic box office bomb.
-
Central character, the Duck, the one
that we're gonna be rooting for,
-
he's neither funny, or bit of funny."
-
But I'm here to clear the air.
-
Howard the Duck is not a movie,
no, it's a duckumentary.
-
I know this because I was there.
-
We all were.
-
My entire clan witnessed
my client crash land on Earth
-
to star in a motion picture
that of which has been
-
Um.
-
it's still awful. It's bad.
We're not winning this case, buddy.
-
I wasn't trying anything. Honest!
-
This is a strange movie to say the least.
-
Howard the Duck notoriously opens with 2 instances of
-
full frontal duck booba in the span of 30 seconds.
-
But the rest of the movie is this whiplash
-
between what's a squeaky clean full house type family movie
-
that no one older than the age of 3 years old would find funny
-
followed by things like Marty McFly's mom showing off her ass and
-
pulling off a condom for Howard's corkscrew.
-
Howard…
-
It's like anti-matter Shrek where they didn't know how to mix adult humor and a kids' flick properly yet
-
so it becomes this overly long bland comedy
-
with hardly any intentional laughs
-
that just happens to throw in something totally obscene every now and then
-
- [Howard] Oh!
- I just can't resist your
-
intense animal magnetism.
-
There's a lot of attempts at duck puns, most are just replacing a random phrase in a word with "duck"
-
"That's it. No more Mr. Nice Duck."
-
Even the director's name is Willard Hyuck.
-
That's a duck name.
-
That's a name you give a duck.
-
The first half of the movie has Howard pointlessly meandering
-
there's no funny interactions or
observations or memorable bits
-
it's just an aimless movie
with the guy in the duck suit.
-
You have an entire portion of the movie
-
where Howard has a job
as a towel boy in a sex club
-
it's fun for the whole family!
-
Yeah, Breeders, what the hell.
-
Bareback bestiality and pedophilia.
-
Oh yeah, we find Howard getting a [?]
as a result of a [?] incident.
-
Which also leads to Palpatine somehow returning from the dead and possessing the body of that one actor that's in every 80s movie who'd later be arrested for being a sex pervert.
-
What would you like to eat?
-
I no longer need human food.
-
[Junko] I need little boy butts.
-
You have a movie where
a talking duck fires a giant laser
-
at a hell portal to stop
a horde of alien warlords
-
from taking over the Earth
-
and they still manage
to make it a total snooze fest
-
They try to give Howard a bit of edge
-
but he still feels
too kiddy and sanitized
-
And part of that is his design.
-
He looks like a cross
of a Furby and MacCulkin.
-
There are some things I did like,
-
these alien overlords are cool
-
their design and stop motion
is really well done.
-
The sequence where
Howard gets shot into space
-
is pretty neat, pretty
impressive to look at.
-
I like this sequence where
Howard and [?] get a [?]
-
and start flying away from the cops
-
that was good.
-
Yeah, Tim Robins is in this
-
Imagine having what's considered
one of the best movies of all time
-
as part of your portfolio
-
and on the other end of the
spectrum, Howard the Duck,
-
now that's range
-
Genuinely I was taken aback
because some of the shots in this movie
-
undeniably go hard.
-
There's a version of this movie that
could've actually been good with less work
-
If they leaned into Howard being this
cynical, perverted wise-cracking duck
-
that's down on his luck,
who gets thrust into Earth
-
and finds this strange new realm
-
isn't so much different from his own.
-
Then it's all about the bills,
baby, put it on my belt
-
He could take it as an
opportunity for a fresh start,
-
slowly climbing up the corporate ladder
-
until becoming a national celebrity that gets caught up in 80s consumerism and greed
-
Not Synced
then maybe having begrudgingly involved in some of the weird sci-fi stuff like the comics, i dunno
-
Not Synced
I'm not sure how to defend my client, give him the chair.
-
Not Synced
(Howard screams)
-
Not Synced
(Evasive laughing)
-
Not Synced
Alright, I may not be able to defend Howard,
-
Not Synced
but know this: from this day forth, I will ensure every client of mine
-
Not Synced
is proven innocent.
-
Not Synced
Now for my next client, I will be defending one Bill Cosby.
-
Not Synced
Bill Co-Bill Cosby.
-
Not Synced
I'm good. Your Honor? I would draw. We're done here. We're done.
-
Not Synced
It's Leonard, part 6.
-
Not Synced
Ask anyone who's seen this movie they'll tell you
-
Not Synced
that's when they first knew lil' Bill was a real piece of shit
-
Not Synced
When I heard there was a comedy movie
-
Not Synced
that just started on part 6
-
Not Synced
I thought, hey, maybe this movie could be bad in a good way, at the very least
-
Not Synced
Nope, it's just bad, it's boring, it's so boring.
-
Not Synced
If there's one thing Cosby was always a master at
-
Not Synced
it's making people very sleepy.
-
Not Synced
The whole thing was supposed to be a spoof on the spy genre,
-
Not Synced
sorta like Naked Gun, except they actually came out a year before that movie
-
Not Synced
They really just had the cameras rolling and had Bill Cosby do whatever he wanted
-
Not Synced
There's a bunch of weird sex shit
-
Not Synced
I mean the clues are all there,
-
Not Synced
in the movie his wife divorced him because he slept with a 19 year old
-
Not Synced
and his daughter is dating a much older man to further her career as an actress
-
Not Synced
so then Leonard has to see her flash her tits on stage
-
Not Synced
for no reason, none of these scenes add anything to the movie
-
Not Synced
I think Cosby just wanted to look at some young girl tits
-
Not Synced
The whole film has this lethargic and slow energy to it
-
Not Synced
Everything from the dialogue to the editing,
-
Not Synced
it's like watching a movie at 0.5 speed.
-
Not Synced
The movie opens with Leonard and an assassin having a little shootout in a kitchen
-
Not Synced
The joke being that what they're doing is actually helping to prep some of the food
-
Not Synced
Ok, could be funny but the pace of it all is so bizarrely off by a step
-
Not Synced
Every gag and bit is like this, like they took something that was
-
Not Synced
maybe a 3 out of 10 joke at best and spread it so thin that
-
Not Synced
you ask yourself was there even a joke at all to begin with?
-
Not Synced
The plot follows Leonard being the best agent in the world
-
Not Synced
who's long been retired after being pulled back for one last mission
-
Not Synced
after a buncha animals under mind control start killing people
-
Not Synced
Yet again a god-awful 80s comedy starts of with an animal looking at a porno mag
-
Not Synced
Here's two fucking nickels
-
Not Synced
The entire first half is him just stumbling around tryna get back with his ex wife
-
Not Synced
who pours soup on him—what is this gag?
-
Not Synced
Is this a fetish, Mr. Cosby? You think this was genuinely funny?
-
Not Synced
[mocking] We'll have him pour soup.
-
Not Synced
Cosby doesn't have a single funny line or hook to his character
-
Not Synced
you can tell he's put zero effort into any of this
-
Not Synced
It's like he said "Yeah I'll do the movie but I don't wanna look too stupid,
-
Not Synced
don't make me look too stupid."
-
Not Synced
Most of these so-called jokes are what the most boring uptight person in the world would think being silly is.
-
Not Synced
[mocking] Oh, look, wow he's being a ballerina, so girly.
-
Not Synced
Oh, wow, he's doing a silly fitness tape, how can he subject himself to that.
-
Not Synced
Oh, wee, it's like he thinks these things are so beneath him
-
Not Synced
that just him doing it would be funny.
-
Not Synced
What a piece of shit.
-
Not Synced
You know what really makes me mad, though?
-
Not Synced
It's completely unfair. Because everyone seems to be trying, but him.
-
Not Synced
There's a part where Leonard tries to free all the animals from captivity,
-
Not Synced
and I just wanna recognize this bird right here.
-
Not Synced
Who in this 5 second shot, bends the bars of his cage with his beak and breaks free
-
Not Synced
God bless this bird.
-
Not Synced
This bird put more effort than Bill Cosby in his own movie.
-
Not Synced
This bird did not deserve to be in one of the worst movies of all time.
-
Not Synced
None of these animals did.
-
Not Synced
This ostrich didn't deserve to be betrayed with a sex criminal grinding his pudding pop on its back.
-
Not Synced
If audiences in 1987 hated this, watching it now,
-
Not Synced
with all the humor naturally diluted even further to the passage of time
-
Not Synced
is like drinking a 40 year old can of new coke
-
Not Synced
and when Bill's the one handing you the drink
-
Not Synced
it's safe to say you probably shouldn't drink it
-
Not Synced
(gurgling)
-
Not Synced
Cocktail is a movie where young Tom Cruise plays a bartender in Manhattan
-
Not Synced
then he movies to Jamaica and falls in love with a girl
-
Not Synced
but then he loses her and moves back to New York to win her back
-
Not Synced
and that's pretty much it.
-
Not Synced
What you see is what you get with this one.
-
Not Synced
It's a really mediocre movie.
-
Not Synced
Not that good, but not that bad either.
-
Not Synced
Well except for this scene where Tom Cruise stands on a bar
-
Not Synced
and reads his shitty poetry.
-
Not Synced
This is pretty cringey.
-
Not Synced
"I see America drinking the fabulous cocktails I make."
-
Not Synced
"America's getting stinking on something I stir or shake."
-
Not Synced
(laughing)
-
Not Synced
"I make drinks so sweet and snazz-ay iced tea the kamikaze,
-
Not Synced
(hollering)
the sex on the beach is Schnapps made from peach
-
Not Synced
the ball and hammer the Alabama slammer."
-
Not Synced
Unsurprisingly with Tom Cruise starring, this movie was a massive success,
-
Not Synced
earning a ridiculous 171 million dollars on a 20 million dollar budget.
-
Not Synced
It's also the movie the Beach Boys "Kokomo" song was written for.
-
Not Synced
Besides that, not much to talk about here.
-
Not Synced
I'm pretty sure it only won Worst Picture because this was the year Rain Man was favored to win Best Picture
-
Not Synced
and the voters probably thought it was funny to make both the Best and Worst Picture be Tom Cruise movies.
-
Not Synced
Ok before making this video, I haven't actually watched any Star Trek at all.
-
Not Synced
But because I'm committed to my craft, I went ahead and watched all 6 original movies
-
Not Synced
just so I can understand why this one is considered the worst.
-
Not Synced
After all that, I—yeah. I get it now.
-
Not Synced
It's not a horrible movie but especially compared to the previous ones in the series,
-
Not Synced
Star Trek V is pretty bad.
-
Not Synced
Pretty much everything went wrong behind the scenes.
-
Not Synced
William Shatner directed it with no prior directing experience
-
Not Synced
nobody could agree on anything during the writing process,
-
Not Synced
there was a writers' strike
-
Not Synced
then a Teamsters strike
-
Not Synced
They shot a lot of the movie in the Mojave Desert
-
Not Synced
which is just as miserable as it sounds.
-
Not Synced
And after the filming was done, they only had 3 months to make the special effects,
-
Not Synced
and all the best special effects technicians in Hollywood were busy making
-
Not Synced
Indiana Jones 3 and Ghostbusters II at the time.
-
Not Synced
Do I think this movie deserved Worst Picture?
-
Not Synced
No.
-
Not Synced
It does some wacky things like introduce Spock's long-lost brother that he never mentioned before
-
Not Synced
or show Kirk getting mauled by a cat woman.
-
Not Synced
But overall I really don't think it's that bad.
-
Not Synced
But to be honest, I'm not a Trekkie who had to see
-
Not Synced
Captain Kirk show up on the Enterprise in a "Go climb a rock t-shirt"
-
Not Synced
…So…I mean…is that bad?
-
Not Synced
I actually don't know.
-
Not Synced
Can someone in the comments tell me if that's bad, if that's out of character?
-
Not Synced
I actually don't know if I'm supposed to be mad at this or not.
-
Not Synced
The Adventures of Ford Fairlane was a "comedy" starring Andrew Dice Clay.
-
Not Synced
If you don't know who Andrew Dice Clay is, he was a comedian most active in the late 80s and early 90s
-
Not Synced
who was known as the Dice Man,
-
Not Synced
which was basically a cover for him to tell the most offensive jokes he possibly could.
-
Not Synced
"And they're always on parade."
-
Not Synced
"They march down the street with t-shirts and flags saying
-
Not Synced
'I want money for AIDS disease.' Beautiful.
-
Not Synced
I want money for a fucking car, I ain't marching up and down the street
-
Not Synced
Get a job, butt slammer."
-
Not Synced
[Evasive] The movie itself is about a detective, I guess,
-
Not Synced
I dunno, it's just not funny at all.
-
Not Synced
Honestly I was on my phone the whole time because I was just so bored.
-
Not Synced
- "I got something serious to discuss."
-
Not Synced
"Yeah, what is it, premature ejaculation?"
(laughing)
-
Not Synced
"Like that time we were at our parents' wedding anniversary,
-
Not Synced
and I told that joke, 'What's the definition of vagina?
-
Not Synced
The box that peanuts come in!'" (laugh)
-
Not Synced
Gilbert Godfrey plays the only funny character in the movie
-
Not Synced
but he dies like 25 minutes in and the rest is just a boring mess to follow.
-
Not Synced
The director Renny Harlin was also working on Die Hard 2 at the time
-
Not Synced
which ended up in theaters at the exact same time as Ford Fairlane
-
Not Synced
and when you look at the money comparison between the two movies
-
Not Synced
yeah, it's pretty obvious which movie he cared about more.
-
Not Synced
"Clint Eastwood. I fucked him. Oh!"
-
Not Synced
[Evasive] 1990 was another tie
-
Not Synced
with Ford Fairlane tieing with another movie from unapologetic (censor beep) phile John Derek.
-
Not Synced
In this one, Bo Derek plays a woman married to a much older man
-
Not Synced
and when the older man dies, his ghost takes up residence in her head
-
Not Synced
and goads her into murdering another man
-
Not Synced
so he can possess his body and have sex with her again.
-
Not Synced
It's a supernatural dirty old man movie
-
Not Synced
where John Derek fantasizes about living rent-free in Bo Derek's head after he dies.
-
Not Synced
Plus this ended up being his last movie.
-
Not Synced
It would be poetic if it wasn't so disgusting.
-
Not Synced
"Bo was very very young. Linda was very young…
-
Not Synced
I guess I just meet them young,
-
Not Synced
before they're wise enough to know I'm not the guy."
-
Not Synced
Anyway the acting was bad, the story was bad,
-
Not Synced
the visuals are bad,
-
Not Synced
but the real cherry on top here was this movie
-
Not Synced
was the first film appearance of Donald Trump.
-
Not Synced
No joke, Trump's first movie was made by a (censor beep) phile.
-
Not Synced
He even does a little duck face in it, look at him.
-
Not Synced
Poetic.
-
Not Synced
Just watch this clip.
-
Not Synced
"Woah!"
-
Not Synced
"Happy (inaudible)"
-
Not Synced
"Oh no! How's my driving? 1800-I'm gonna-(censor beep)-die!"
-
Not Synced
[Evasive] Bruce Willis plays a master burglar fresh out of prison who
-
Not Synced
was blackmailed into stealing some art
-
Not Synced
but it turns out it's all part of a conspiracy to build a secret machine
-
Not Synced
invented by Leonardo Da Vinci that can turn lead into gold.
-
Not Synced
At this point in his career, Bruce Willis was mainly known for Die Hard I and II.
-
Not Synced
And was looking to branch out a bit with Hudson Hawk.
-
Not Synced
But apparently he couldn't decide what he wanted the movie to be.
-
Not Synced
In an interview, one of the writers later said:
-
Not Synced
I started to know we were in trouble when Joel and Bruce would say during filming
-
Not Synced
You know what this is? This is a Pink Panther movie.
-
Not Synced
The next day they'd say
-
Not Synced
You know what this is? This is an American James Bond movie.
-
Not Synced
Then it would be: You know what this is? This is North by Northwest.
-
Not Synced
I even remember someone saying:
-
Not Synced
You know what this is? This is Casino Royale.
-
Not Synced
Eventually I realized that if every day they were saying it was something different
-
Not Synced
by the time we got to the editing room, we were gonna be in trouble.
-
Not Synced
So yeah, the final product is all over the place,
-
Not Synced
but the movie has developed a bit of a cult following over the years
-
Not Synced
just because it's so…so silly
-
Not Synced
- (screaming)
- Honey?
-
Not Synced
- Ball ball?
- Woof!
-
Not Synced
(dog screaming)
-
Not Synced
[Evasive] Here's another movie that's really not that bad.
-
Not Synced
It's a World War II movie where Melanie Griffith is a half Jewish woman
-
Not Synced
with no spy experience who signs herself up to be a spy in Berlin
-
Not Synced
because she wants to prove herself and save her Jewish cousins who are in hiding.
-
Not Synced
Michael Douglas plays another spy
-
Not Synced
and pre-Schindler's List Liam Neeson plays a Nazi officer.
-
Not Synced
Most of the complaints about the movie were aimed at how unbelievable Melanie Griffith is at being a spy
-
Not Synced
because she was really bad at her job.
-
Not Synced
Like "spilling soup on Liam Neeson and taking the German kids she's nannying
-
Not Synced
to the building her cousins are hiding in" kind of bad
-
Not Synced
But overall it's not that awful of a movie
-
Not Synced
because the plot holes and writing problems are balanced out by a good soundtrack and good cinematography
-
Not Synced
It's just average.
-
Not Synced
Not bad enough to be memorable but not good enough that you'd ever wanna watch it again.
-
Not Synced
Basically the cinematic equivalent of eating at Denny's.
-
Not Synced
I think 1992 was just a slow year for bad movies in general.
-
Not Synced
That same year they also nominated Newsies for Worst Picture
-
Not Synced
and Danny DeVito for Worst Supporting Actor
-
Not Synced
like…what? Why? How?
-
Not Synced
What?
-
Not Synced
Once again, this is a movie that's not that bad.
-
Not Synced
It's a drama where Woody Harrelson and Demi Moore
-
Not Synced
play a financially struggling married couple in Vegas
-
Not Synced
and Robert Redford is a filthy rich guy
-
Not Synced
who offers the couple 1 million dollars for a 1 night stand with Demi Moore.
-
Not Synced
Honestly, it's fine.
-
Not Synced
It takes itself very seriously and it's vaguely misogynistic at points.
-
Not Synced
Also it's completely unbelievable that a man who looks like Robert Redford
-
Not Synced
would pay a million dollars to sleep with someone.
-
Not Synced
But in the context of the movie it all works.
-
Not Synced
Definitely not the worst movie of the year that's for sure.
-
Not Synced
I mean you're telling me that Indecent Proposal won Worst Picture but Mr. Nanny wasn't even nominated?
-
Not Synced
Razzie voters were asleep at the wheel this year.
-
Not Synced
In this one Bruce Willis plays a psychologist who can't see the color red
-
Not Synced
who gets wrapped up in a murder after his colleague
-
Not Synced
gets killed Assassin's Creed-style and he suspects it was someone in his therapy group.
-
Not Synced
I'm so confused why it was even nominated for Worst Picture because this wasn't even a bad movie at all.
-
Not Synced
It's surreal and weird sure but it's in a Twin Peaks style of way that still makes it unsettling and fun to watch.
-
Not Synced
Definitely a 6.5 out of 10 movie for me.
-
Not Synced
Maybe a 7 out of 10 I dunno.
-
Not Synced
This is another one that became a cult hit after it was released on home video.
-
Not Synced
Partly because of this crazy sex scene in a pool that everybody wanted to see
-
Not Synced
It was even streaming on Criterion Channel at one point
-
Not Synced
which basically means that it's certified art.
-
Not Synced
That's all I have to say.
-
Not Synced
I dunno guys, some of these 90s movies aren't even bad enough to complain about.
-
Not Synced
There's a lot to be said about Showgirls.
-
Not Synced
First of all, Director Paul Verhoeven was the first to accept his Razzie award in person.
-
Not Synced
And that's kind of funny.
-
Not Synced
And I'm very happy because it was much more fun than reading the reviews in September. Thank you.
-
Not Synced
(clapping, cheering)
-
Not Synced
Second of all, Showgirls isn't bad.
-
Not Synced
It's actually a great movie, in my opinion, and a lot of people agree.
-
Not Synced
It is a wild movie about high budget Las Vegas strip shows
-
Not Synced
And obviously with subject matter like that
-
Not Synced
you're going to view the movie very differently
-
Not Synced
depending on your gender and sexuality.
-
Not Synced
But regardless of what kind of person you are
-
Not Synced
the experience of watching this movie is an absolute rollercoaster
-
Not Synced
"One. Two. Three."
-
Not Synced
"Thrust it. Thrust it. Thrust it."
-
Not Synced
"Come on, thrust it."
-
Not Synced
But for as over the top as this movie is
it's also pretty true to life.
-
Not Synced
During his research, writer Joe [Esterhazs] interviewed
-
Not Synced
over two hundred strippers in Las Vegas
-
Not Synced
and the result was a shockingly realistic depiction of the lives of high profile sex workers and performers
-
Not Synced
And a biting satire against show business in general.
-
Not Synced
Take a look at these tits.
-
Not Synced
What are these, watermelons?
-
Not Synced
This is a stage, babes, it's not a patch.
-
Not Synced
See ya.
-
Not Synced
Your ears are sticking out. They are.
-
Not Synced
Come back and see me when you get em fixed.
-
Not Synced
See ya.
-
Not Synced
Can you spell MGM backwards? I bet you can't.
-
Not Synced
- MGM.
- I'm impressed.
-
Not Synced
Come back when you fuck some of those baby fat off.
-
Not Synced
Now in today's era of gritty HBO dramas, none of this is that shocking
-
Not Synced
but in 1995 this was next level stuff.
-
Not Synced
Plus with the subject matter, this movie has a lot of nudity.
-
Not Synced
It was rated NC-17 in America
-
Not Synced
and to date it is the only NC-17 movie that was given a wide release in theaters.
-
Not Synced
It was so explicit and controversial that MGM had to hire security at every movie theater in America
-
Not Synced
just to make sure nobody under the age of 18 snuck into the theater.
-
Not Synced
The movie lost millions of dollars and to this day, no studio has ever dared to try and release an NC-17 movie in theaters again.
-
Not Synced
If this sounds interesting to you, I actually really recommend giving this movie a watch
-
Not Synced
because I can't really do it justice with just words alone.
-
Not Synced
Just know what you're getting into before you turn it on
-
Not Synced
because this movie is every bit as traumatic as it is glamorous
-
Not Synced
And actually to prove to you how much I like this movie, watch this.
-
Not Synced
Oh.
-
Not Synced
Oh.
-
Not Synced
I'm a showgirl.
-
Not Synced
I'm a showgirl, baby.
-
Not Synced
I'm a showgirl.
-
Not Synced
In the mid-90s, Demi Moore was one of the biggest film stars in the world.
-
Not Synced
And the world was dying to know, what do Demi Moore's boobs look like?
-
Not Synced
That's actually the only reason this movie exists.
-
Not Synced
They paid Demi Moore 12.5 million dollars
-
Not Synced
the most any woman had ever been paid for a movie role at the time
-
Not Synced
just so she would star in this movie and show her boobs to the camera.
-
Not Synced
This movie is like if Showgirls was actually bad.
-
Not Synced
Demi Moore plays an FBI agent who loses her daughter in a custody battle
-
Not Synced
and then becomes a stripper in Florida at a place called Eager Beaver
-
Not Synced
to pay for a court appeal.
-
Not Synced
She basically girlbosses being a stripper.
-
Not Synced
Not in a nuanced way like Showgirls though.
-
Not Synced
But in a stupid way that it takes itself seriously
-
Not Synced
and is mostly boring and not believable at all.
-
Not Synced
Despite the bad reviews, the movie ended up being such a huge success
-
Not Synced
and the director-writer-producer Andrew Bergman basically quit Hollywood after this movie
-
Not Synced
I'm pretty sure what happened is once he got Demi Moore to agree to go topless,
-
Not Synced
he basically just phoned it in for the rest of the movie
-
Not Synced
because clearly the audiences who were going to see this
-
Not Synced
weren't watching for the plot.
-
Not Synced
But what can I say?
-
Not Synced
That's showbiz, baby.
-
Not Synced
That's…that's showbiz, baby.
-
Not Synced
The Postman takes place in a distant future year of 2013
-
Not Synced
after much of humanity has been wiped out by a plague.
-
Not Synced
Kevin Costner, who also directed the movie,
-
Not Synced
stars as a traveling Shakespeare performer that's conscripted to Caesar's Legion
-
Not Synced
but he escapes and finds an old mail bag full of mail
-
Not Synced
and pretends to be a mailman so he can get food
-
Not Synced
and accidentally restarts the US postal service in the process
-
Not Synced
Also it's almost 3 hours long.
-
Not Synced
Honestly, as most of post apocalyptic adventures go, this one isn't that bad.
-
Not Synced
It's about the same level of quality as Waterworld, actually.
-
Not Synced
But the fact that it was a 3 hour long Kevin Costner vanity project,
-
Not Synced
released just a week after Titanic,
-
Not Synced
made it a very easy target for critics.
-
Not Synced
What is Kevin Costner even up to, these days, anyway?
-
Not Synced
(typing) Kevin Costner.
-
Not Synced
I mean, hey. Good luck Kevin.
-
Not Synced
If you aren't familiar, the name Alan Smithee is a fake name the Director's Guild came up with in 1968
-
Not Synced
that directors who wanted to take their name of a movie were required to use instead.
-
Not Synced
And this movie caused such a headache that the Directors' Guild had to officially stop allowing the use of the Alan Smithee name in movies.
-
Not Synced
Ok so this movie was written by Joe Eszterhas and was directed by Arthur Hiller.
-
Not Synced
It's a mockumentary about a guy whose name was actually Alan Smithee
-
Not Synced
that directs an action movie but he hates the finished product
-
Not Synced
so he steals the film reels and holds them ransom
-
Not Synced
because he wasn't allowed to take his name off it.
-
Not Synced
Now behind the scenes in real life,
-
Not Synced
Joe Eszterhas was in charge of cutting Burn Hollywood Burn
-
Not Synced
and when Arthur Hiller saw the final version
-
Not Synced
he hated it so much he had his name taken off the movie
-
Not Synced
But this of course created a confusion
-
Not Synced
because this was a movie about Alan Smithee
-
Not Synced
and the poster said it was directed by Alan Smithee
-
Not Synced
which you would assume was just a joke
-
Not Synced
but no, the director actually had his name taken off the movie.
-
Not Synced
It would take me so long to explain everything that's wrong with this movie
-
Not Synced
so let me just sum it up in four words.
-
Not Synced
Not funny.
-
Not Synced
Didn't laugh.
-
Not Synced
There's way too many characters,
-
Not Synced
the movie jumps all over the place
-
Not Synced
Harvey Weinstein is in it.
-
Not Synced
"Eew."
-
Not Synced
There's lots of not funny parts where the camera freeze frames
-
Not Synced
and there's a wall of text on screen.
-
Not Synced
I'm guessing what happened is they filmed all these scenes separately
-
Not Synced
and thought they were hilarious on set
-
Not Synced
but when they got to the editing room they realized they had nothing to work with
-
Not Synced
so Joe Eszterhas tried to salvage it by adding a bunch of text edit jokes
-
Not Synced
which actually made the movie worse.
-
Not Synced
I have no proof of this of course but it seems right to me.
-
Not Synced
I'd probably do the same thing in that situation.
-
Not Synced
Ok so this is a Western steampunk fusion movie
-
Not Synced
starring the Fresh Prince and the guy who plays Mr. Fischoeder in Bob's Burgers
-
Not Synced
as cowboy government agents who hunt down an evil ex-Confederate officer with no legs
-
Not Synced
who kidnaps President Ulysses S. Grant with a giant robot spider.
-
Not Synced
That's what this movie is.
-
Not Synced
(hooting)
-
Not Synced
This movie is ridiculous.
-
Not Synced
I don't know what the executives at Warner Bros. were snorting in the board room
-
Not Synced
when they decided to spend over a 170 million dollars
-
Not Synced
on a movie where cowboy Will Smith fights a huge mecha spider
-
Not Synced
but thank god they did because Will Smith turned down playing Neo in the Matrix to do this movie
-
Not Synced
And I'd like you to imagine what it would be like if Will Smith played Neo in the Matrix.
-
Not Synced
I probably would have messed the Matrix up.
-
Not Synced
I would've ruined it.
-
Not Synced
So I did y'all a favor.
-
Not Synced
This might not be a "good" movie
-
Not Synced
but oh my god it's so funny.
-
Not Synced
Plus the theme song is pretty fire.
-
Not Synced
If I may quote one of the great gangster rappers, William Will Smith,
-
Not Synced
(nonchalantly) wicki wild wild, wicki wicki wild
-
Not Synced
wicki wild, wicki wicki wild wild wild west.
-
Not Synced
wicki wild, wicki wicki wild wild west.
-
Not Synced
Do you find those lyrics inspiring?
-
Not Synced
I mean, I…
-
Not Synced
Battlefield Earth is an action sci-fi movie based on a novel written by Ron Hubbard, the founder of Scientology
-
Not Synced
which he wrote in 1982 when he was in hiding to avoid going to prison for his numerous crimes.
-
Not Synced
It's about a distant future world where humanity has been enslaved by aliens called "psychlos"
-
Not Synced
which are a very obvious metaphor for L. Ron Hubbard's vitriolic hate for psychiatrists.
-
Not Synced
John Travolta, who plays the evil alien leader called Turl
-
Not Synced
and has been a scientologist since 1975
-
Not Synced
is directly responsible for this movie existing.
-
Not Synced
The production company who took it on was later found to have defrauded investors out of 31 million dollars
-
Not Synced
by overreporting production costs
-
Not Synced
causing a lawsuit that forced the company to go bankrupt and shut down in 2007.
-
Not Synced
On top of that, the movie was a massive financial flop
-
Not Synced
not just because the movie and its John Travolta action figures
-
Not Synced
were an obvious Scientology recruitment tactic
-
Not Synced
but because the movie itself was a visual nightmare.
-
Not Synced
The special effects are ugly,
-
Not Synced
the costumes are disgusting,
-
Not Synced
and the whole movie was filmed in these crooked angles
-
Not Synced
that changed multiple times a scene.
-
Not Synced
which gave a bunch of people motion sickness.
-
Not Synced
It's a really infamously bad movie that's been covered by a bunch of other YouTube channels over the years
-
Not Synced
so if you want more information on it, go watch one of those videos.
-
Not Synced
Just don't watch the movie itself.
-
Not Synced
It'll do nothing but make you nauseous and waste two hours of your time.
-
Not Synced
I'm serious, don't do it.
-
Not Synced
I'm sorry, you guys, conflict of interest, I can't talk about Freddy Got Fingered.
-
Not Synced
One of my friends and I watched this movie like four times during quarantine
-
Not Synced
and we kinda bonded over it.
-
Not Synced
And now this movie has a special place in my heart.
-
Not Synced
"Aw."
-
Not Synced
So I made Nikki watch it instead.
-
Not Synced
Because she's never seen it before.
-
Not Synced
And here she is now.
-
Not Synced
Where the hell do I even begin with this movie.
-
Not Synced
Part of me thinks this movie is some kind of deep anti-comedy
-
Not Synced
meant to satirize the other gross out comedies
-
Not Synced
that were popular in the early 2000s
-
Not Synced
and the other part of me thinks that maybe it means nothing at all.
-
Not Synced
I mean any normal human being
-
Not Synced
would read a title called
-
Not Synced
Freddy Got Fingered
-
Not Synced
and run away in the opposite direction.
-
Not Synced
Because what the fuck is that supposed to mean?
-
Not Synced
But to put it simply, this movie is about a 28 year old man
-
Not Synced
"Stop it, stop it, Mom, I'm a 28 year old man."
-
Not Synced
"Hey, baby, he's a 28 year old man."
-
Not Synced
His name is Gord and he moves to LA to be a cheese worker.
-
Not Synced
And also to pursue his dream of being a professional animator.
-
Not Synced
Seems pretty simple, right? Seems pretty cut and dry?
-
Not Synced
But that's where you'd be wrong.
-
Not Synced
Because so very many things happen in this movie
-
Not Synced
that are beyond human explanation.
-
Not Synced
Just to name a few,
-
Not Synced
Tom Green jerks off a horse
-
Not Synced
he swings a baby around by its umbilical cord
-
Not Synced
Tom Green walks around in a deer carcass
-
Not Synced
And he goes scuba diving in his own toilet.
-
Not Synced
- Get out of that toilet!
- (bubbling, gurgling)
-
Not Synced
But at the risk of sounding clinically insane
-
Not Synced
and demented
-
Not Synced
there are moments in this movie that I find kind of relatable.
-
Not Synced
Like this scene where the CEO of an animation company tells Gord that he doesn't like his drawings.
-
Not Synced
- It sucks.
-
Not Synced
And so he immediately sticks a gun in his mouth and starts screaming.
-
Not Synced
- The characters are so lame, I'm a loser.
-
Not Synced
I wish I was dead.
-
Not Synced
- (screaming)
- Wait, wait.
-
Not Synced
What makes this even funnier is that once he receives validation,
-
Not Synced
he takes the gun out of his mouth and acts like none of that ever happened at all.
-
Not Synced
- Sir I can't work on this all day, I got a job at the cheese sandwich factory.
-
Not Synced
If you're mentally ill, and make art, this is the film for you.
-
Not Synced
- It's time I grow up and get a job instead of acting like a little baby all the time.
-
Not Synced
I can't think of anything to draw because I'm so stupid.
-
Not Synced
I'm so stupid.
-
Not Synced
- And this movie surprised me in so many different ways
-
Not Synced
For one, it made me laugh way more than I anticipated.
-
Not Synced
- Can't you see we're both just a couple of stupid idiots.
-
Not Synced
- Gord…
- (mocking) Gord! Gordie!
-
Not Synced
It was also weirdly based at times.
-
Not Synced
I say weirdly because the early 2000s was a derogatory fever dream.
-
Not Synced
It was like running thru the perfume department in SpongeBob
-
Not Synced
but the perfume was slurs.
-
Not Synced
Gord ends up asking out this nurse named Betty
-
Not Synced
and she says yes, but afterwards he finds out that she's in a wheelchair.
-
Not Synced
At first I was like, oh shit, it's about to get real ableist in here
-
Not Synced
Lel-lel-lel.
-
Not Synced
I was truly prepared for the worst.
-
Not Synced
But my expectations were subverted when Betty ended up
-
Not Synced
not only the smartest person in this whole movie
-
Not Synced
but her and Gord remain in a relationship for the rest of the film.
-
Not Synced
- I have a bag of jewels for you.
- Gord…
-
Not Synced
- They're jewels, Betty.
-
Not Synced
Another interesting thing to me is that
-
Not Synced
Betty constantly wants to give Gord a blow (dolphin sound) job.
-
Not Synced
Here me out dude!
-
Not Synced
She asks him this so many times in the movie,
-
Not Synced
that it comes off as very obviously satirical.
-
Not Synced
- Gord, I don't care about jewels, I just wanna suck your cock
-
Not Synced
My life's a little hectic lately,
-
Not Synced
I'm having trouble concentrating with all the skateboarding and
-
Not Synced
- you sucking my penis all the time
- (chuckling)
-
Not Synced
And again, my expectations are subverted by Gord repeatedly asking if they can just go out on a date.
-
Not Synced
- I just think if we went out on at least one date
-
Not Synced
and you didn't do any sucking right now
-
Not Synced
that would make the whole sucking to date ratio
-
Not Synced
far more balanced, you know?
-
Not Synced
- This could be a play on the trope of male protagonists in comedy especially
-
Not Synced
being obsessed with sex
-
Not Synced
And not only that but women being ultra sexualized in these movies.
-
Not Synced
Not all the subversion in this movie is good, though, necessarily.
-
Not Synced
If you were wondering how the movie got its title,
-
Not Synced
I shit you not, about 50 minutes into the film,
-
Not Synced
Gord frames his dad for "fingering" his brother.
-
Not Synced
- At least I don't touch Freddy.
-
Not Synced
He fingers him.
-
Not Synced
- His brother who is like 25 and doesn't even live with them.
-
Not Synced
- He's a molester!
-
Not Synced
He's a child molester!
-
Not Synced
- But CPS literally goes into his apartment and takes him to the molestation hospital.
-
Not Synced
Is this shocking?
-
Not Synced
Uh, yes.
-
Not Synced
I don't know if it's shocking compared to the other things that happen in this movie.
-
Not Synced
(screaming)
-
Not Synced
Is it in poor taste?
-
Not Synced
Uh…luhh…luhh…
-
Not Synced
Maybe.
-
Not Synced
But this whole framing of the fingering
-
Not Synced
is the canon event that leads to the finale of the film.
-
Not Synced
When Gord pranks his dad by
-
Not Synced
abducting him in the middle of the nightand taking him to Pakistan.
-
Not Synced
- You're fucking dead.
-
Not Synced
They could write books and novels and college theseses
-
Not Synced
about everything else that happen between then and the ending
-
Not Synced
but just know that this movie ends with Gord and his dad being covered in elephant c—(censor beep)
-
Not Synced
(elephant trumpeting)
-
Not Synced
Speaking of which, there's an elephant in this room!
-
Not Synced
The elephant is that I actually kinda like this movie.
-
Not Synced
Also the elephant is coming.
-
Not Synced
Is that so wrong?
-
Not Synced
And is it so wrong that maybe kinda
-
Not Synced
I might be attracted to Tom Green in this movie?
-
Not Synced
Is it ok that he might be the Pete Davidson of the 90s?
-
Not Synced
Shut up.
-
Not Synced
As far as career-ruining films go,
-
Not Synced
Tom Green took the failure of Freddy very very well.
-
Not Synced
He even showed up to accept his Golden Razzie.
-
Not Synced
He rolled out his own red carpet too.
-
Not Synced
- Well done you guys. Give him some space.
-
Not Synced
Thank you very much.
-
Not Synced
Celebrate your successes
-
Not Synced
and your failures.
-
Not Synced
[Evasive] A remake of an italian film from 1974
-
Not Synced
Swept Away is a movie where Madonna plays the dumbest
-
Not Synced
most unlikable rich woman in the world
-
Not Synced
who gets marooned on an island with an Italian sailor
-
Not Synced
who hates her and sexually assaults her.
-
Not Synced
3 minutes after that
-
Not Synced
there's a time skip and suddenly they're in love.
-
Not Synced
It's a nasty nasty nasty movie
-
Not Synced
and I don't even wanna talk about it.
-
Not Synced
It was so bad it caused Madonna to give up on acting entirely.
-
Not Synced
It's a disaster. Absolute agony to watch.
-
Not Synced
Especially when you consider the movie was directed by Madonna's then-husband Guy Ritchie.
-
Not Synced
Madonna later divorced Guy Ritchie in 2008
-
Not Synced
but in my opinion queen should've divorced Guy Ritchie on the spot
-
Not Synced
for even suggesting this movie.
-
Not Synced
[Madonna] Ugh. It was rough.
-
Not Synced
There's nothing glamorous about it, then you were really mean to me.
-
Not Synced
Mrs. Ritchie.
-
Not Synced
I just want to slap you on camera.
-
Not Synced
Why, Mrs. Ritchie?
-
Not Synced
For all those times you let Adriano slap me and never yelled cut.
-
Not Synced
[Ritchie] One more.
-
Not Synced
[Madonna] And all those times they threw octopuses on me.
-
Not Synced
And all those times you made me stay in the freezing cold ice water.
-
Not Synced
And all those times you made me run down the sand dunes.
-
Not Synced
And all those times you ate my food.
-
Not Synced
And you didn't pay me.
-
Not Synced
And you never said thank you.
-
Not Synced
(crying)
-
Not Synced
I'm not gonna lie, I was riding the high
-
Not Synced
of actually enjoying Freddy Got Fingered
-
Not Synced
when Gigli came in and literally snuffed the life out of me.
-
Not Synced
Gigli is a movie.
-
Not Synced
It's about a mobster named Gigli
-
Not Synced
played by Benjamin, Benny Boy, Affleck.
-
Not Synced
Much like this review on Letterboxd,
-
Not Synced
I too hope Gigli k—(dolphin noises) himself.
-
Not Synced
Because not only does he abduct a mentally challenged teenager,
-
Not Synced
and abuse him while holding him for ransom,
-
Not Synced
What if I smack you in the fucking head?
-
Not Synced
He's also just cringe.
-
Not Synced
Unforgivably so.
-
Not Synced
J.Lo. is also in this movie, unfortunately
-
Not Synced
and she plays this other mobster or mobsterette
-
Not Synced
who is supposed to help him take care of this mentally disabled kid
-
Not Synced
and she also just happens to be a lesbian.
-
Not Synced
It means I'm a lesbian.
-
Not Synced
Or should I say, the least convincing lesbian in film history.
-
Not Synced
No lesbians were consulted in the making of this movie.
-
Not Synced
Because what the fuck is this?
-
Not Synced
It's turkey time.
-
Not Synced
Huh?
-
Not Synced
Gobble gobble.
-
Not Synced
You may not be able to tell
-
Not Synced
because this is the weirdest way I've ever heard anyone describe it
-
Not Synced
but she's talking about eating (dolphin sound) ussy here.
-
Not Synced
I really don't know who told J.Lo.
-
Not Synced
or whoever wrote this script
-
Not Synced
that lesbians call that turkey time.
-
Not Synced
But whoever it was deserves to be taken out behind a barn and shot.
-
Not Synced
Of course Gigli doesn't respect her sexuality.
-
Not Synced
Your girlfriends, they're at a natural disadvantage.
-
Not Synced
They might try hard but they're not just backed up
-
Not Synced
by millions of years of genetic engineering.
-
Not Synced
He whines and complains throughout the whole movie about
-
Not Synced
Oh, it's not fair, she's a lesbian but I'm attracted to her.
-
Not Synced
And I wanna be with her.
-
Not Synced
You know why I'm fucking sad?
-
Not Synced
Because I've got this fucking
-
Not Synced
beautiful, sexy, gorgeous heartthrobba-rama
-
Not Synced
fucking smart, amazing, bombshell
-
Not Synced
17 on a fucking 10 scale girl
-
Not Synced
sleeping on the bed right next to me.
-
Not Synced
She's a stone cold d—(vine boom)—yke.
-
Not Synced
A fucking untouchable, unaffable
-
Not Synced
brick wall fucking d—(vine boom)—kossaurus rex.
-
Not Synced
(mocking) Eugh…eugh…
-
Not Synced
And after enough complaining, Ricki starts doing deeds with him.
-
Not Synced
It's not like this is realistic at all in anyway,
-
Not Synced
but in the hypothetical scenario
-
Not Synced
where for some reason a lesbian had sex with a guy
-
Not Synced
it would not be with this guy.
-
Not Synced
He's always like licking his teeth and shit.
-
Not Synced
But luckily there's not just lesbian cringe,
-
Not Synced
This ain't fucking lesbian talk circle time!
-
Not Synced
There's also plenty of heterosexual cringe.
-
Not Synced
God bless you penis.
-
Not Synced
And gay cringe.
-
Not Synced
I'm not gay!
-
Not Synced
Despite this movie literally being about mobsters,
-
Not Synced
nothing mobster-related really happens in this movie until the last 30 minutes
-
Not Synced
where for some reason Al Pacino is here.
-
Not Synced
You piece of shit!
-
Not Synced
I'm sure this is Al Pacino's favorite role of all time
-
Not Synced
right up there next to Jack and Jill.
-
Not Synced
Ok, come on, low bat it here pitcher, we got em.
-
Not Synced
Ho!
-
Not Synced
Ho!
-
Not Synced
But to give it to you straight,
-
Not Synced
the movie ends with Gigli leaving the mentally disabled kid
-
Not Synced
on a random beach with the cast of Baywatch.
-
Not Synced
And it's literally played out like it's supposed to be this inspirational thing.
-
Not Synced
Like a tearjerker or something.
-
Not Synced
(inspirational music)
-
Not Synced
Meanwhile, Gigli and Ricki ride off into the sunset
-
Not Synced
just as she's telling him that he should wear some makeup.
-
Not Synced
You know I bet you'd look awesome in some mascara.
-
Not Synced
Do not watch this movie.
-
Not Synced
You will get a UTI.
-
Not Synced
Or that other thing.
-
Not Synced
[Evasive] Ok first of all this movie is Catwoman in name only.
-
Not Synced
Despite being a DC comics movie,
-
Not Synced
the Catwoman of this movie has pretty much nothing to do with the Catwoman from Batman.
-
Not Synced
This character has a different name
-
Not Synced
lives in a different city
-
Not Synced
and gets her cat superpowers from a magic cat burping in her mouth.
-
Not Synced
It's just so stupid, it's actually really fun to watch.
-
Not Synced
Especially the CGI Halle Berry during the action scenes
-
Not Synced
it's so funny.
-
Not Synced
As you might expect this movie bombed hard
-
Not Synced
probably because they put it out around the same time as Spiderman 2.
-
Not Synced
(laughing)
-
Not Synced
(laughing)
-
Not Synced
It's a pretty infamous superhero movie now
-
Not Synced
and the director Pitof was basically laughed out of Hollywood
-
Not Synced
and never directed a movie again.
-
Not Synced
But Halle Berry embraced this movie was a flop
-
Not Synced
and she even showed up in person to accept her Razzie award.
-
Not Synced
First of all I wanna thank Warner Bros.
-
Not Synced
(crowd laughing)
-
Not Synced
Thank you for putting me in a piece of shit god-awful movie.
-
Not Synced
(crowd laughing, cheering)
-
Not Synced
(Berry cheering)
-
Not Synced
Dirty love is a…
-
Not Synced
"comedy",
-
Not Synced
created by Melissa McCarthy's cousin,
-
Not Synced
notorious anti-vaxxer and Masked Singer judge, Jennifer McCarthy.
-
Not Synced
She stars as a woman who gets dumped by her boyfriend and her life falls apart.
-
Not Synced
It's really unhinged but not in a funny kind of way.
-
Not Synced
More in a "I'm born uncomfortable and I wanna leave the room," kind of way.
-
Not Synced
I actually had a hard time finding clips of this movie online
-
Not Synced
because it's pretty obscure and nobody likes it.
-
Not Synced
It's mostly badly delivered jokes and gross out humor
-
Not Synced
with a feminine spin.
-
Not Synced
And by feminine spin
-
Not Synced
I, of course, mean period jokes
-
Not Synced
Like this scene where a bleeding Jenny McCarthy
-
Not Synced
goes to a grocery store in white skirt and no underwear
-
Not Synced
and almost bleeds out on the floor.
-
Not Synced
You know, relatable comedy for women.
-
Not Synced
Just girly things.
-
Not Synced
Hashtag just girly things.
-
Not Synced
Just girly things.
-
Not Synced
It's a girly thing so you wouldn't understand, boys.
-
Not Synced
It's a girly thing.
-
Not Synced
Hashtag just girly things.
-
Not Synced
It's a girly thing, it's a girly thing.
-
Not Synced
(sing-song) Hashtag just girly things.
-
Not Synced
So this a sequel to Basic Instinct
-
Not Synced
an erotic murder mystery thriller from the early 90s
-
Not Synced
that's maybe best remembered today for this scene
-
Not Synced
where Newman from Seinfeld sees Sharon Stone's
-
Not Synced
bare, uncensored (censor beep)-ssy in an interrogation room.
-
Not Synced
The original was nominated for a few Razzies in its day
-
Not Synced
but it was a massive box office hit
-
Not Synced
and is today remembered as a pretty solid neo-noir thriller.
-
Not Synced
Now, Basic Instinct 2 on the other hand only exists
-
Not Synced
because Sharon Stone was promised 14 million dollars to star in the movie.
-
Not Synced
When the producers tried to cancel it,
-
Not Synced
she sued them to force them to make it.
-
Not Synced
Don't take it so hard.
-
Not Synced
Even Oedipus didn't see his mother coming.
-
Not Synced
[Evasive] It's kind of hard to talk about this movie without spoiling a bit of the original.
-
Not Synced
But I will say that overall I didn't hate this movie.
-
Not Synced
But I also barely remember anything about the plot
-
Not Synced
and I only saw it a couple of months ago.
-
Not Synced
It rehashes a lot of the same story beats and plot points as the original,
-
Not Synced
just not as good.
-
Not Synced
Would I call it a terrible movie?
-
Not Synced
No, not really.
-
Not Synced
But compared to the original,
-
Not Synced
it's pretty bland and forgettable.
-
Not Synced
But that's what happens when your only reason for making a movie
-
Not Synced
is to avoid a massive lawsuit.
-
Not Synced
Gotta love showbiz, baby.
-
Not Synced
I Know Who Killed Me is a horror movie starring Lindsay Lohan
-
Not Synced
as a girl who is killed by a serial killer
-
Not Synced
but survives and wakes up in the hospital saying she's someone else.
-
Not Synced
This movie was released in July 27, 2007
-
Not Synced
right at the peak of the tabloid frenzy about Lindsay Lohan
-
Not Synced
and her struggles with alcohol and drug addiction
-
Not Synced
there was a lot of attention on the movie while it was filming.
-
Not Synced
Especially because Lohan checked into rehab the first time
-
Not Synced
a month into the production.
-
Not Synced
The film set was swarmed with so much paparazzi
-
Not Synced
that some of them even showed up in the background of a few shots in the movie.
-
Not Synced
Then a couple months after filming wrapped,
-
Not Synced
Lohan was arrested for drunk driving.
-
Not Synced
Then on July 24th, just three days before the movie was released,
-
Not Synced
Lohan was arrested for drunk driving again
-
Not Synced
and couldn't even attend the premiere.
-
Not Synced
All of this negative media attention made Lindsay Lohan enemy number one in Hollywood.
-
Not Synced
Critics eviscerated this movie.
-
Not Synced
But in a year since its release,
-
Not Synced
this film has kind of become a cult classic among horror movie fans.
-
Not Synced
It's been screened in theaters many times over the last decade.
-
Not Synced
I've seen a lot of people online compare it to giallo movies,
-
Not Synced
an Italian film genre popular in the 60s and 70s
-
Not Synced
that mixed elements of murder movies, slashers, and erotica.
-
Not Synced
The influence of giallo is definitely present here.
-
Not Synced
It's a stylish weird thriller
-
Not Synced
and Lohan's background made her kind of perfect for the role
-
Not Synced
as the main character quickly transforms from a sweet high school girl
-
Not Synced
into a deeply traumatized young woman with a robotic hand.
-
Not Synced
It's definitely not for everyone, myself included,
-
Not Synced
but if you're into weird gory horror movies,
-
Not Synced
there's a lot to vibe with here.
-
Not Synced
It's a much better movie than Norbit, that's for sure.
-
Not Synced
Have you ever seen Norbit?
-
Not Synced
Ooh! Ah! Bitches!
-
Not Synced
(screaming)
-
Not Synced
(screaming)
-
Not Synced
The Love Guru is a movie
-
Not Synced
written by, directed by, and starring Mike Meyers
-
Not Synced
that's mostly remembered as the movie
-
Not Synced
that completely tanked his career
-
Not Synced
and caused him to step away from Hollywood for 8 years.
-
Not Synced
Critics and audiences both hated it.
-
Not Synced
With critics calling it
-
Not Synced
lazy, immature, mindless, pitiable, insulting, painful, gross, contemptuous, racist, and unlikable,
-
Not Synced
among many other things.
-
Not Synced
But don't take their word for it.
-
Not Synced
Take my word for it.
-
Not Synced
I don't have any other words for it,
-
Not Synced
that pretty much sums it up.
-
Not Synced
Here's a scene they use in the trailer.
-
Not Synced
Woah! How did you get there?
-
Not Synced
(groans)
-
Not Synced
This little guy scared the crap out of me.
-
Not Synced
Think I might have to do a panty check,
-
Not Synced
I might have some monkey mustard back there.
-
Not Synced
Who is this prick?
-
Not Synced
Shh.
-
Not Synced
Man, how do you do? Shrimp?
-
Not Synced
What did you call me, jagomoe?
-
Not Synced
I'm sorry I didn't catch your gnome—name!
-
Not Synced
You are a midget.
-
Not Synced
[Evasive] The plot of this movie is Mike Myers
-
Not Synced
plays a self-help guru named Maurice Pitka
-
Not Synced
who was raised in India
-
Not Synced
wears a chastity belt
-
Not Synced
and dreams of being on Oprah.
-
Not Synced
He's hired by the Toronto Maple Leaves
-
Not Synced
to help their star player get back together with his wife
-
Not Synced
because he is the Love Guru
-
Not Synced
and only he can save their marriage.
-
Not Synced
It's basically a one note movie
-
Not Synced
that feels like it was written by a 10 year old boy.
-
Not Synced
Every seen goes on for way too long,
-
Not Synced
Mike Myers keeps laughing at his own jokes
-
Not Synced
and pretty much every line is about
-
Not Synced
poop, pee, farts, balls, or dicks,
-
Not Synced
with many of the characters' names being dick jokes.
-
Not Synced
We got Tugginmypudha,
-
Not Synced
coach Cherkov,
-
Not Synced
Le Coq,
-
Not Synced
Dick Pants,
-
Not Synced
(Evasive laughing)
-
Not Synced
It's not funny that John Oliver is named Dick Pants.
-
Not Synced
(laughing)
-
Not Synced
[Evasive] It's not… (laughing)
-
Not Synced
[Evasive] Ok, I'll be the first to say that
-
Not Synced
I don't think any of the Transformers movies are particularly good.
-
Not Synced
That being said,
-
Not Synced
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is definitely the worst one,
-
Not Synced
if only for how offensive and annoying it is.
-
Not Synced
Pretty much every Transformer introduced in this movie
-
Not Synced
either talks with a racist accent,
-
Not Synced
or the most annoying cartoon voice imaginable.
-
Not Synced
And when it isn't being annoying or racist,
-
Not Synced
it's doing shit like this.
-
Not Synced
Name's Wheelie. Hah…hah…
-
Not Synced
Say my name, say my name. Hah…hah…
-
Not Synced
What are you allowing
to happen to your foot just now?
-
Not Synced
At least he's faithful, Sam.
-
Not Synced
Yeah, well, he's faithful,
and he's nude and he's perverted.
-
Not Synced
Hah…hah…hah…
-
Not Synced
(sighs)
-
Not Synced
Like is it any wonder Megan Fox quit the series after this?
-
Not Synced
Sadly this movie ended up making 836 million dollars
-
Not Synced
which was about a hundred million more dollars than Up made that same year.
-
Not Synced
This thing's gonna give me a heart attack, I swear.
-
Not Synced
- That's 'cause you was a wuss.
- You did force me into that car, right?
-
Not Synced
Oh I think he scared.
-
Not Synced
Hey Mudflap. What we gonna do with this shrimp taco?
-
Not Synced
Lemme just pop a cap in his ass, throw him in the truck,
-
Not Synced
and then nobody gonna know nothing, y'know what I mean?
-
Not Synced
- No one's gonna pop any caps in any asses. Ok?
-
Not Synced
- I've had a hell of a day.
-
Not Synced
Why don't you get a haircut with your bitch ass?
-
Not Synced
What can I even say about this movie
-
Not Synced
that hasn't been said a thousand times already?
-
Not Synced
This live action trashfire directed by M. Night Shyamalan
-
Not Synced
attempted to condense the first season of an amazing animated TV show
-
Not Synced
into a 90 minute CGI-filled mess.
-
Not Synced
Maybe if you watch this,
-
Not Synced
having never seen the original series,
-
Not Synced
it's just another lame Hollywood fantasy action movie.
-
Not Synced
But for fans of the series, this was offensively bad.
-
Not Synced
The creators of the show were not allowed to give any input on the movie's development.
-
Not Synced
Beloved characters were made one-dimensional and pointless,
-
Not Synced
major plot points were skipped over,
-
Not Synced
characters' names are pronounced wrong.
-
Not Synced
How do you even screw that up?
-
Not Synced
This movie made a lot of money
-
Not Synced
but was so hated by audiences
-
Not Synced
that Paramount must have known that they couldn't fool people twice
-
Not Synced
and cancelled plans to adapt the other 2 seasons,
-
Not Synced
effectively sinking the career of the kid who played Aang before it even began.
-
Not Synced
It's just sad.
-
Not Synced
The whole movie is a sad waste of source material.
-
Not Synced
You'd probably have a better time playing the official Wii game
-
Not Synced
than watching this movie.
-
Not Synced
(vaguely Asian music)
(wheels skidding)
-
Not Synced
[Evasive] Ok, maybe not.
-
Not Synced
(dramatic, haunting piano)
-
Not Synced
Alright, Razzies, respectfully,
-
Not Synced
what the fuck?
-
Not Synced
I wouldn't call myself a Twilight fan,
-
Not Synced
I never read the books and I didn't watch the movies until recently,
-
Not Synced
but even I know that the last movie in the Twilight series
-
Not Synced
isn't that bad a movie.
-
Not Synced
It's ridiculous, sure, but out of all the movies in this series,
-
Not Synced
it's definitely the most interesting and most exciting entry aside from the first one.
-
Not Synced
Obviously they gave it Worst Picture as a sort of dig at the entire series,
-
Not Synced
since none of the others had won Worst Picture before,
-
Not Synced
but come on.
-
Not Synced
Breaking Dawn Part 2 is fun.
-
Not Synced
It's got a big fight scene on a frozen lake,
-
Not Synced
it's got a girl named Renesmee,
-
Not Synced
it concludes one of the most iconic and most stupid blockbuster series of all time.
-
Not Synced
It's so entertaining and over the top
-
Not Synced
that even if you hate Twilight and everything about it,
-
Not Synced
you can't tell me that this movie is worse than the Adam Sandler movie
-
Not Synced
where he shows a 13 year old impregnating his teacher.
-
Not Synced
You can't tell me that.
-
Not Synced
Because you'd be wrong.
-
Not Synced
Let me start this one off by
-
Not Synced
showing you the list of people that were involved in this movie.
-
Not Synced
And that's not even all of them.
-
Not Synced
Movie 43 is a compilation of raunchy comedy sketches
-
Not Synced
each directed by different people.
-
Not Synced
Made on an impossibly cheap budget of 6 million dollars,
-
Not Synced
this thing took 3 whole years to film
-
Not Synced
because the producers worked around actors' schedules
-
Not Synced
to maximize how many famous people could show up on this.
-
Not Synced
The sketches themselves are a relentless onslaught of dirty shock humor.
-
Not Synced
There's one where Hugh Jackman has balls on his face.
-
Not Synced
There's one where Chloe Grace Moretz spills period blood on the wall.
-
Not Synced
There's one where a horny cat pisses on Elizabeth Banks.
-
Not Synced
There's one where Kieran Culkin wants to leave a hickey on Emma Stone's vagina.
-
Not Synced
My personal favorite was the one where Anna Faris asks Chris Pratt
-
Not Synced
to poop on her during sex.
-
Not Synced
- So he takes some—
- Poop Viagra.
-
Not Synced
And then gets hit by car.
-
Not Synced
I love you, I wanna marry you.
-
Not Synced
Oh my god. Doug, no!
-
Not Synced
If you're feeling sadistic,
-
Not Synced
throw this on, on your next bad movie night with friends.
-
Not Synced
It's got a little something for everyone.
-
Not Synced
I don't even know what the hell Movie 43 means.
-
Not Synced
But I'm in Movie 43, maybe I'm in Movie 44.
-
Not Synced
I don't know.
-
Not Synced
So if you're unfamiliar, Kirk Cameron was a child actor in the 80s
-
Not Synced
who took a hard right turn into Evangelical Christianity
-
Not Synced
and has since appeared almost exclusively
-
Not Synced
in low-budget Christian movies and radio programs.
-
Not Synced
Today, he's mostly known for his inflammatory publicity stunts
-
Not Synced
Like in 2020, when he organized maskless Christmas carols in LA
-
Not Synced
to protest COVID restrictions,
-
Not Synced
which he called "communism disguised as public health".
-
Not Synced
You know the type.
-
Not Synced
He's a nutcase,
-
Not Synced
and his movie had been dunked a hundred times before by YouTubers already
-
Not Synced
because for a while, this was the lowest-rated movie on IMDB,
-
Not Synced
with an average rating of 1.3 out of 10.
-
Not Synced
Which he claimed was the result of an atheist conspiracy on Reddit.
-
Not Synced
The whole movie takes place in one house
-
Not Synced
and almost every scene is him using weird circular reasoning
-
Not Synced
to explain how non-Christian Christmas traditions
-
Not Synced
had actually been Christian all along.
-
Not Synced
Like how Christmas trees were God's idea
-
Not Synced
because God created trees.
-
Not Synced
Or how the holiday isn't actually materialistic
-
Not Synced
because the ability to buy gifts
-
Not Synced
is God's gift to humanity.
-
Not Synced
It's just boring.
-
Not Synced
It's just a boring movie where nothing happens
-
Not Synced
and everyone is just sitting or standing around
-
Not Synced
not doing anything.
-
Not Synced
The only remotely entertaining part of the whole movie
-
Not Synced
is when all the extras have an epic dance party at the end.
-
Not Synced
♫ (Angels we have heard on high, trap remix style) ♫
-
Not Synced
Fant-four-stic is a classic case of too many people having their hands in the same movie.
-
Not Synced
The writers disagreed on everything.
-
Not Synced
The director Josh Trank slept with a loaded gun on him
-
Not Synced
because he got death threats for casting Michael B. Jordan.
-
Not Synced
Fox executives had whole scenes cut out
-
Not Synced
and other scenes reshot without Trank's approval
-
Not Synced
because they thought his version was too dark.
-
Not Synced
Trank also put out a tweet before the movie came out
-
Not Synced
basically disowning it.
-
Not Synced
The end result of all of this
-
Not Synced
was an ugly, boring mess of a movie
-
Not Synced
where there's no real stakes or tension anywhere.
-
Not Synced
They don't even have them become superheroes
-
Not Synced
until halfway thru the movie
-
Not Synced
and most of the time they're just standing around
-
Not Synced
talking and not doing anything.
-
Not Synced
You can see the remnants of a decent movie in here
-
Not Synced
like in this scene where Miles Teller wakes up on a hospital bed looking like Lanky Kong.
-
Not Synced
But we'll never know what the movie was supposed to be
-
Not Synced
because nobody cares.
-
Not Synced
There's no one out there saying
-
Not Synced
hashtag release the trank cut.
-
Not Synced
I want them to go see just a really great movie.
-
Not Synced
Something that is different from…uh…
-
Not Synced
Dr. Doom is one of the top 5 greatest characters
-
Not Synced
that ever come off a comic book—panel.
-
Not Synced
Science is really cool and this is something that…hopefully…
-
Not Synced
So 2015 was another tie
-
Not Synced
with Fifty Shades of Grey also being awarded Worst Picture.
-
Not Synced
This is another movie where I"m like,
-
Not Synced
what can I possibly say about this that hasn't been said already?
-
Not Synced
It's based on an erotic novel that started out as a Twilight Fanfiction,
-
Not Synced
the stars have no chemistry
-
Not Synced
and nothing about their relationship is believable.
-
Not Synced
The movie spawned that Love Me Like You Do song
-
Not Synced
that's haunted retail workers for almost a decade now.
-
Not Synced
It's just a bad movie.
-
Not Synced
It's boring and bad and it made over 500 million dollars
-
Not Synced
so rather than repeat the same things that a 100 other YouTubers have said
-
Not Synced
I'll just leave you with a little mental image.
-
Not Synced
See, this movie came out on Valentine's Day 2015.
-
Not Synced
I want you to visualize Kayllynn and Greg
-
Not Synced
from Sugar Land, Texas
-
Not Synced
who went to see this at the local AMC on Valentine's Day.
-
Not Synced
I want you to visualize Kayllynn giving Greg a dry handjob
-
Not Synced
at the back of the theater, 40 minutes into the movie.
-
Not Synced
I want you to visualize them going to Applebees after
-
Not Synced
and eating a slightly burned chicken breast
-
Not Synced
and some unseasoned broccoli.
-
Not Synced
I want you to visualize—
-
Not Synced
If you don't know already,
-
Not Synced
Dinesh D'Souza is a far-right political commentator
-
Not Synced
who's been releasing propaganda films every year since 2012.
-
Not Synced
He also pleaded guilty to campaign finance fraud in 2014
-
Not Synced
and was sentenced to 5 years probation.
-
Not Synced
During which, he made Hillary's America: The Secret History of the Democratic Party.
-
Not Synced
Released in the summer of 2016,
-
Not Synced
Hillary's America is a movie that claims it's a documentary
-
Not Synced
but aside from a few news clips and some scripted-sounding interviews,
-
Not Synced
much of the movie is either historical reenactments
-
Not Synced
or D'Souza talking to terrible actors
-
Not Synced
and trying to pass it off as documentary footage.
-
Not Synced
The movie opens with D'Souza being sentenced for fraud
-
Not Synced
which he claims was a Democratic conspiracy to shut him up
-
Not Synced
and from there he goes to prison
-
Not Synced
and starts interviewing other prisoners about how gangs work
-
Not Synced
You know, gangs are
all about stealing, man.
-
Not Synced
What's the biggest gang?
-
Not Synced
Right in your face.
-
Not Synced
Politicians, man.
-
Not Synced
- How does a gang make money?
- Any way they can, you know?
-
Not Synced
Trafficking, smuggling,
stealing, extortion,
-
Not Synced
Yeah, but how do they pull it off?
-
Not Synced
Later on, he visits the Democratic National Headquarters
-
Not Synced
and it's all done up to look like a high-tech museum
-
Not Synced
for the glory of the Democratic Party.
-
Not Synced
Then he sneaks into the restricted part of the building
-
Not Synced
and breaks into the secret archives
-
Not Synced
to reveal the secret information
-
Not Synced
that is literally in the curriculum of 8th Grade US History.
-
Not Synced
Like, "Hey guys, did you know that most of the slaveowners in the Civil War were Democrats?
-
Not Synced
Wow, isn't that crazy? How come no one's talking about this?"
-
Not Synced
The sad truth is this movie sold 13 million dollars worth of tickets when it came out.
-
Not Synced
Which means that hundreds of thousands of very gullible Americans saw this in theaters.
-
Not Synced
And many probably dragged their impressionable kids to see it with them
-
Not Synced
when all those kids wanted to do was play the new Pokémon Go game that just came out.
-
Not Synced
It's depressing to think about.
-
Not Synced
2016 was a very dark time.
-
Not Synced
But I try to figure out how we get them to have Pokémon Go do the polls.
-
Not Synced
Hey guys, I'm sorry, I can't talk about the Emoji Movie.
-
Not Synced
You see, on a hot summer day in 2017, I actually saw The Emoji Movie in theaters
-
Not Synced
in a room full of screaming, sugared up children.
-
Not Synced
And if you think this movie looks bad enough on its own,
-
Not Synced
try watching it completely sober
-
Not Synced
while a 7 year old kicks the back of your chair the whole time.
-
Not Synced
I just can't relive the trauma of that day again.
-
Not Synced
So I pass this one off to the trash guy.
-
Not Synced
Young Junko. He was the best lawyer who ever lived.
-
Not Synced
But decidingly the hammer of justice made him his walnut.
-
Not Synced
And under the pressure, he cracked.
-
Not Synced
By his side, he had only left this note.
-
Not Synced
Sad face, cry face, trash can, water gun, squirt, sad face.
-
Not Synced
Watch the Emoji Movie in theaters for more info.
-
Not Synced
Emoji Movie is like the cinematic equivalent
-
Not Synced
of seeing an ad for Cricket Wireless on the side of the bus.
-
Not Synced
It's the same artistic merit.
-
Not Synced
It's hard not to look at this movie without
-
Not Synced
thinking of the evolution of 3D animation as a craft
-
Not Synced
in the last four years, the way the medium improved over time,
-
Not Synced
not just in fidelity, but the heartfelt boundary-pushing storytelling
-
Not Synced
that made animated characters come across as more tangible.
-
Not Synced
And exploring the worlds they inhabited in a surreal way,
-
Not Synced
and all that led to this, a movie about emojis.
-
Not Synced
On a kid's cell phone.
-
Not Synced
It's so impersonal, it's not like Toy Story,
-
Not Synced
where Andy and the Toys have a clear relationship.
-
Not Synced
In Emoji Land, you get scanned whenever the kid picks you for the text message.
-
Not Synced
Like why is this kid only texting in emojis?
-
Not Synced
He's like a little man slut.
-
Not Synced
The whole plot being, he wants to text a girl in his class,
-
Not Synced
and that's it. He has no connection to any of these main central characters,
-
Not Synced
they're just a button on his phone.
-
Not Synced
It's so pointless.
-
Not Synced
The world's not interesting at all.
-
Not Synced
The main character, Gene, is supposed to be the Meh emoji,
-
Not Synced
but he's malfunctioning, so he goes on a quest with Hand Emoji
-
Not Synced
and Jailbreak, an elite emo hacker girl emoji with blue hair
-
Not Synced
who can access the cloud and see all the Rule 34 of herself
-
Not Synced
made over the years.
-
Not Synced
- Oh!
- [Hand] Suck it in!
-
Not Synced
No, stop it!
-
Not Synced
[Junko] It's a movie made specifically for
-
Not Synced
loud drunk parents circa 2017 to take their iPad kids to
-
Not Synced
so they can run around the theater and pick their ass
-
Not Synced
while they shove a bunch of ads up their eyeballs
-
Not Synced
You've got whole scenes explaining Candy Crush,
-
Not Synced
Just Dance, and Spotify.
-
Not Synced
It's as shameless and corporate as an animated movie could possibly be.
-
Not Synced
I'm sure some belligerently wasted parent in the theater
-
Not Synced
howled with laughter as James Corden, Hand Emoji, said "Bye Felicia."
-
Not Synced
- Bye Felicia!
-
Not Synced
[Junko] I wouldn't know though, because the first time I saw Emoji Movie
-
Not Synced
was at 2 AM on a hacked Amazon Fire Stick
-
Not Synced
plugged into my friend's portable CRT.
-
Not Synced
That's just about the viewing experience this movie deserves.
-
Not Synced
[Evasive] But hey, for as much as a soulless cash grab that the Emoji Movie was,
-
Not Synced
there is one good thing about it.
-
Not Synced
And that's that it is inadvertently responsible
-
Not Synced
for causing Jordan Peele to make Get Out.
-
Not Synced
Holmes & Watson was the much anticipated reunion
-
Not Synced
between John C. Reilly and Will Ferrell
-
Not Synced
a duo that starred in a couple of smash hit comedies in the mid-2000s.
-
Not Synced
So when this movie released to atrocious reviews,
-
Not Synced
it left some people scratching their heads wondering
-
Not Synced
how two guys who worked so well together before,
-
Not Synced
could fuck up a movie this bad.
-
Not Synced
And trust me, no matter what your sense of humor is,
-
Not Synced
this movie is bad.
-
Not Synced
It's not funny, at all,
-
Not Synced
not even a little bit.
-
Not Synced
It's just boring and hard to watch.
-
Not Synced
Right, I know. He's an onanist.
-
Not Synced
Yes.
-
Not Synced
- What's an onanist?
-
Not Synced
He pours his own tea.
-
Not Synced
He likes to create his own sauce.
-
Not Synced
He is a saucier.
-
Not Synced
And the name of his restaurant is Crotch Kitchen.
-
Not Synced
On a daily basis, he creams his own eclair.
-
Not Synced
[Evasive] The plot is impossible to follow,
-
Not Synced
the jokes fall flat on its face,
-
Not Synced
and some of the jokes were already dated
-
Not Synced
by the time this movie came out.
-
Not Synced
Compared to Tallaadega Nights and Stepbrothers,
-
Not Synced
everything about their delivery here just feels off.
-
Not Synced
And the blame probably rests on writer-director Etan Cohen.
-
Not Synced
Not to be confused with Ethan Coen.
-
Not Synced
Etan Cohen is a writer who built a pretty decent resumé
-
Not Synced
in the 90s and the 2000s
-
Not Synced
and decided to branch out into directing
-
Not Synced
with Get Hard in 2015.
-
Not Synced
Holmes & Watson was his second attempt at directing
-
Not Synced
and possibly his last
-
Not Synced
because the movie just barely didn't break even.
-
Not Synced
And since its release, Cohen seems to turn exclusively to writing.
-
Not Synced
My theory is, the man didn't know how to direct Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly.
-
Not Synced
He just got them together and assumed it'd be enough to carry the movie.
-
Not Synced
Because the whole thing feels like he just dressed them up in Victorian Era clothes and said
-
Not Synced
"Just do whatever you want. We'll edit it down to just the funny parts."
-
Not Synced
And then surprise.
-
Not Synced
None of it was funny.
-
Not Synced
[Holmes] You know what I've found,
-
Not Synced
to take the most attractive photographs,
-
Not Synced
you need to purse your lips together like a duck-billed platypus.
-
Not Synced
[Watson] Platypus face!
-
Not Synced
Chins up!
-
Not Synced
Hey!
-
Not Synced
Hey, girl!
-
Not Synced
Cats is a hilarious movie.
-
Not Synced
It is so funny for all the wrong reasons.
-
Not Synced
I saw this in theaters when it came out
-
Not Synced
after a couple of very powerful weed gummies
-
Not Synced
and it is an experience I will remember for the rest of my life.
-
Not Synced
It's unlike any other movie ever made.
-
Not Synced
It really is.
-
Not Synced
♫ Wuddly-wah, wuddly-wah ♫
-
Not Synced
It's dinner and a show.
-
Not Synced
♫ Wuddly-wah, wuddly-wah ♫
-
Not Synced
♫ A-dooba-dooba-doo ♫
-
Not Synced
♫ Tak-pity-pak-pity-pak ♫
-
Not Synced
Released at the tail end of 2019,
-
Not Synced
Cats was an act of pure hubris from director Tom Hooper,
-
Not Synced
who was well known in Hollywood at this point for directing
-
Not Synced
the King's Speech, Les Misérables, and The Danish Girl.
-
Not Synced
Well I guess Tommy Boy got pretty full of himself after all those award-winners,
-
Not Synced
because for his next project, he proceeded to blow a hundred million dollars
-
Not Synced
on a film adaptation of Cats: The Musical.
-
Not Synced
Behind the scenes, Hooper rushed the movie out the door
-
Not Synced
so it could release in time for Christmas.
-
Not Synced
And in the process, treated the animators like complete shit.
-
Not Synced
Anonymous sources later reported that Hooper knew nothing about animation,
-
Not Synced
made them work 90-hour weeks for months,
-
Not Synced
and was horrible, disrespectful, demeaning, and condescending
-
Not Synced
toward everyone.
-
Not Synced
One source said that Hooper talked to the animators
-
Not Synced
like they were garbage
-
Not Synced
and even compared their time working on cats to slavery.
-
Not Synced
It's been a few years now since Cats released,
-
Not Synced
and Tom Hooper hasn't been heard from since.
-
Not Synced
So I think it's safe to say that those allegations were completely true
-
Not Synced
and he won't be making a comeback any time soon.
-
Not Synced
At this point, I'd like to play you a song from the movie
-
Not Synced
but YouTube would probably demonetize me if I did that.
-
Not Synced
So instead I'm gonna play you a public service announcement from the 80s.
-
Not Synced
Accident? An accident?
-
Not Synced
There was a child in the car.
-
Not Synced
A child?
-
Not Synced
Cats have 9 lives, children only one,
-
Not Synced
help them live their life, buckle them into a car seat,
-
Not Synced
no one wants a child to become a memory.
-
Not Synced
♫ Memory, all alone in the moonlight. ♫
-
Not Synced
So Absolute Proof is not a movie.
-
Not Synced
For the first time in Razzie history,
-
Not Synced
the Razzies gave Worst Picture
-
Not Synced
to something that was not a movie.
-
Not Synced
This is a 2-hour long special
-
Not Synced
that aired on One America News in February 2021
-
Not Synced
where Mike Lindell, the MyPillow guy,
-
Not Synced
bought airtime to prove that the 2020 election was hacked by China,
-
Not Synced
using statistics that were proven to be fake,
-
Not Synced
and interviewing experts that don't have any real credentials.
-
Not Synced
This special was also uploaded on YouTube,
-
Not Synced
but was quickly taken down for spreading false information.
-
Not Synced
I was hoping it would at least be unintentionally funny,
-
Not Synced
but it's just really boring to watch.
-
Not Synced
- It's mostly the MyPillow guy saying
- Woah.
-
Not Synced
talking about voting data that was given to him by a fraudster.
-
Not Synced
At one point, he brings out a guy who claims he invented e-mail.
-
Not Synced
You know, from creating e-mail and all these systems.
-
Not Synced
I know the power of machines.
-
Not Synced
Yeah, he created e-mails. The creator of e-mails.
-
Not Synced
I don't know, I don't have anything to say about this one.
-
Not Synced
It's not a movie.
-
Not Synced
So this is also not a movie.
-
Not Synced
Diana The Musical is a Broadway show
-
Not Synced
that was planned to open on March 31st, 2020.
-
Not Synced
Obviously, that didn't pan out, but in summer of 2020
-
Not Synced
they were able to get the cast together to make a recording of the show.
-
Not Synced
With heavy COVID restrictions and with no audience, of course.
-
Not Synced
Then, for some bizarre reason,
-
Not Synced
they decided to release that recording
on Netflix on October 2021
-
Not Synced
a whole month before the show reopened on Broadway.
-
Not Synced
Obviously, this was the dumbest possible thing they could've ever done
-
Not Synced
because why would anyone who wasn't a hardcore House Windsor stan
-
Not Synced
pay over a hundred dollars for a Broadway ticket to this cringefest
-
Not Synced
when they could just watch the cringefest for free at home.
-
Not Synced
This show was a complete flop,
-
Not Synced
performing to a half-full theater every night for a month,
-
Not Synced
until the producer put the show out of its misery
-
Not Synced
and cancelled it on December 19.
-
Not Synced
Even if it hadn't been dumped on Netflix before it opened,
-
Not Synced
it still would've probably flopped
-
Not Synced
because it's every bit as tone deaf as the title suggests.
-
Not Synced
The lyrics sound like a 14 year old girl saw Hamilton and Newsies a few times
-
Not Synced
and was like, "Oh my gosh, I could do that too!"
-
Not Synced
except it wasn't written by a 14 year old girl,
-
Not Synced
it was written by a Tony Award-winning playwright in his 50s.
-
Not Synced
Here is just a sample of some of the lyrics this show throws at you.
-
Not Synced
♫ Alright, I'm no intellect. ♫
-
Not Synced
♫ But maybe there's a discotheque ♫
-
Not Synced
♫ where the prince could hear some Prince ♫
-
Not Synced
♫ and we'd all get funkadelic ♫
-
Not Synced
♫ You thought I was a ninny, ♫
-
Not Synced
♫ you could mold me as you like. ♫
-
Not Synced
♫ Well the skinny on that ninny ♫
-
Not Synced
♫ is she's really rather bright. ♫
-
Not Synced
♫ I just got a ticket to the main event ♫
-
Not Synced
♫ It's the Thrilla in Manila but with Diana and Camilla ♫
-
Not Synced
Directed by eccentric auteur Andrew Dominik,
-
Not Synced
Blonde is the most recent Worst Picture as the time I made this video
-
Not Synced
and probably the most controversial winner since Showgirls.
-
Not Synced
It's a nearly 3 hour long, NC-17 rated movie
-
Not Synced
about the life of Marilyn Monroe
-
Not Synced
that takes extreme liberties with her life story
-
Not Synced
as it's actually based on a historical fiction novel
-
Not Synced
by Joyce Carol Oates.
-
Not Synced
The reviews of this thing were all over the place.
-
Not Synced
When it premiered at the Venice Film Festival,
-
Not Synced
it received a 14-minute long standing ovation
-
Not Synced
and early critic reviews were extremely positive.
-
Not Synced
Then it released on Netflix a few weeks later
-
Not Synced
and the drama started.
-
Not Synced
On the positive end, the movie got praised for its stunning cinematography
-
Not Synced
and for Anna De Armas' performance as Monroe.
-
Not Synced
On the negative end, the movie was criticized for being
-
Not Synced
exploitative, sexist, and dehumanizing,
-
Not Synced
and for brutally depicting Marilyn Monroe
-
Not Synced
as a helpless girl relentlessly abused by the Hollywood system
-
Not Synced
when her real life story was much more complicated than that.
-
Not Synced
And it certainly doesn't help that
-
Not Synced
Andrew Dominik doubled down on it, after the film's release,
-
Not Synced
saying, "Criticism only hurts if you agree with it,
-
Not Synced
and I didn't agree with any of it.
-
Not Synced
She's dead, the movie doesn't make any difference to her one way or another.
-
Not Synced
What they mean is that the film exploited their memory of her, the image of her,
-
Not Synced
which is fair enough. It does. That's the whole point of the movie.
-
Not Synced
That's the whole problem with Marilyn Monroe.
-
Not Synced
Everybody feels like they know her and what's best for her."
-
Not Synced
I don't know about you guys,
-
Not Synced
I could speak on this movie more,
-
Not Synced
but I don't want to.
-
Not Synced
This is the last movie on this list
-
Not Synced
and I'm tapping out.
-
Not Synced
I don't wanna see any of you in the comments saying,
-
Not Synced
"Oh, Eva tapping out.
-
Not Synced
Eva not giving her real opinion.
-
Not Synced
You're being evasive.
-
Not Synced
You can't do that."
-
Not Synced
Thank god this is over.
-
Not Synced
My eyeballs and my brain are absolutely fried right now.
-
Not Synced
I don't have a single thought left in my head.
-
Not Synced
But let me go ahead and summarize my thoughts
-
Not Synced
by sorting all these movies into 4 categories.
-
Not Synced
These categories are
-
Not Synced
Boring Bad, Funny Bad, Not That Bad,
-
Not Synced
and Crimes against Humanity.
-
Not Synced
And there we go.
-
Not Synced
I am Evasive,
-
Not Synced
thank you for my Patreon supporters,
-
Not Synced
thank you to all of you for watching,
-
Not Synced
and thank you so much to my guests
-
Not Synced
for contributing to this video.
-
Not Synced
And hey, Razzie people, if you're watching,
-
Not Synced
Hi.
-
Not Synced
Invite me to the show sometime, maybe.
-
Not Synced
Honestly I think you guys are a little cringey
-
Not Synced
and you've made some very questionable decisions in the past
-
Not Synced
but like…I don't care.
-
Not Synced
In the meantime, we're going to do
-
Not Synced
literally anything else besides watching movies.
-
Not Synced
You know what I'm gonna do.
-
Not Synced
I'm gonna look at some clouds.
-
Not Synced
Ooh, and touch grass.
-
Not Synced
Oh I can't remember the last time I touched grass.
-
Not Synced
I'm gonna go outside, look at some clouds,
-
Not Synced
and touch grass.
-
Not Synced
Ok, bye guys.