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What's up cinephiles,
I'm Evasive,
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and this piece of paper right here
means two things:
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Number one, I am tens of
thousands of
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dollars in debt,
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and number two, I know a lot
about movies.
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And since it looks like the U.S
government
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is not going to be giving me any
debt relief this year,
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I have no choice now but to
torture myself on the Internet
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for money to pay off the loans
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I took out to go to film school.
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(eEeEewWwWw!)
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So for this video, I watched every
movie that's ever won
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a Razzie Award for Worst Picture
of the Year.
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This was an extremely painful
experience
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and I regretted my decision
immediately,
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but for the sake of my adoring
fans
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and my bank account,
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I went ahead and watched all 46
of these
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movies so I could explain them to
you.
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But after the grueling experience
of watching all these movies,
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I'm not about to tackle this
breakdown alone.
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So I went ahead and roped in
another video
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essay girly and a talking trash can
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to help explain some of these
movies for me.
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But before I get to the movies, let
me explain what the Razzies are.
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The Golden Raspberry Awards are
an annual event,
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usually held the night before the Oscars,
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to give out awards for the worst
movies of the year.
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It was founded by Hollywood
copywriter
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John Wilson and editor Maureen
Murphy.
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The idea for the Razzies came
about
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in 1980 when Wilson saw
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Can't Stop the Music and Xanadu
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back to back and hated them both
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so much he thought there ought
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to be an award show for this type
of thing.
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Months later, Wilson hosted an
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Oscars watch party at his house,
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and after the Oscars had finished,
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he and Murphy passed out ballots
to everyone at the party to vote
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on the worst movies of the year,
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and then he announced the
winners in his living room.
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Over time, the ceremony grew and
grew,
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and today they're considered a
staple
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of the Hollywood award season
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as a low-budget Bizarro World
Oscars
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that distributes awards in
categories
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such as Worst Actor, Worst
Director,
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and Worst Screenplay.
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Unlike the qualifications for voting
at the Oscars, though,
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becoming a Razzie voter is very
easy:
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either be friends with one of the
producers
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or just pay a $40 membership fee.
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That's all it takes.
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So that's the story of the Razzies.
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Now, are you ready to learn about
every single movie
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that won Worst Picture?
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Because I wasn't.
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There's 46 of these things, so I'm
going to talk about each one
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just a minute or two
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and hand off a few to my guests
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so I don't completely lose my mind here.
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Also, I put a content warning on a
bunch of these movies
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because of the sensitive subject
matter I discuss.
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Not trying to traumatize anybody
but myself in this video...
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well, me and my guests.
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But I commissioned them for this,
so i-- it's fine.
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Anybody who can swallow
two snowballs and a ding-dong
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shouldn't have any trouble with pride.
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[Evasive] The first movie to win
Worst Picture was "Can't Stop The Music".
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A movie about the "origins"
of the disco group "Village People".
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I say origins in air-quotes because
the Village People play themselves
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and the plot is completely made-up
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and not at all how
the Village People actually formed
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The movie itself is super campy
and full of these crazy musical numbers
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that are unironically kinda great.
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It's just too bad that in between
those musical numbers are these scenes
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with really terrible acting
that go on for way too long.
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"Wait a minute! I am not taking one
more step 'til I know where I'm going."
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"Yeah, quit my job, and you
got me walking the beat again!"
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- "And I'm not even getting paid for it!"
- "Hey, hold your horses."
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"I told ya I had a surprise for ya."
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"I hope so. I turned in my
coin change with the toll booth."
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[Evasive] By 1980 the disco fad was
almost over and
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people loved to hate on
disco music at the time
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so you can see why this
ended up being such a huge bomb.
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Also, shockingly, this movie marks the
first film appearance of Caitlyn Jenner
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and apparently the experience was so bad
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she didn't appear in a movie again until
"Jack & Jill 2011".
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And, uh, well.
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Mommie Dearest is a "biopic"
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about the life of actress Joan Crawford's
adopted daughter Christina.
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Again, I say biopic in air-quotes
because the movie was based on
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Christina Crawford's controversial memoir
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that other members of Joan Crawford's
family disavowed when it came out.
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I haven't done much research on the topic
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so I'm in no position
to question this story.
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But I will say that after
the movie was made
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Christina said the film was grotesque
and not true to her memoir.
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Released just 4 years after
Joan Crawford passed away,
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this movie basically spits all over
her fresh grave
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and portrays her as a horrible mother
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who frequently, physically and emotionally
abused her daughter.
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Whether or not this is actually true
is still a matter of debate.
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Regardless of the real-life circumstances
behind the movie,
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Faye Dunway's performance
of Joan Crawford is iconic now.
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People who have unfortunately
experienced emotional abuse from a parent
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found her performance
scarily true to their own life experiences
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but general audiences thought
she was just being outrageously campy
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and over the top the whole movie.
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Because of its reputation, the movie
became a queer cult classic over the years
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especially in the drag community.
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It was even featured in the most
recent season of RuPaul's Drag Race.
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"No wire hangers!"
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♫ No more wire hangers ♫
♫ Ah, ah! ♫
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♫ No, no, wire hangers ♫
♫ No, no, no, no ♫
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[Evasive] Inchon is a movie about
the battle of Incheon in the Korean War.
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It was financed and produced
by the Unification Church,
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a movement that was and still is
considered a dangerous cult
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with a leader who called himself
the second coming of Jesus Christ.
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The film's producer was
a very wealthy member of the church.
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He said he was instructed by God
to make the film.
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So, unsurprisingly, no investors wanted
any part of this.
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All 46 million dollars of the budget was
provided by the church and its followers.
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The film itself doesn't have much
to do with the Unification Church.
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It's a straightforward war movie that's
just boring and unremarkable.
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It had some star power but only because
the actors in it were paid a lot of money.
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With Laurence Olivier even admitting
before the movie was released
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that he was only in it for the money.
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It was such a flop that no one
even bothered to release it on home media.
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The only available version
of the movie today
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was from an old VHS rip from when it
played on Unification Church TV channel.
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The only thing worth seeing in this movie
was Laurence Olivier's makeup job.
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I mean he looks like the Joker.
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This movie is just tasteless.
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it's based on a novel by Harold Robbins
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who was paid 600 000 dollars
for the film rights
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and apparently fell asleep
in the screening room
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and never actually watched the movie.
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First of all, in the first 15 minutes,
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young Ray Liotta,
in his first ever movie role,
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sexually assaults the main character
with a garden hose.
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After that the rest of the movie
is just her being forced to have sex
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with gross older men
in order to get ahead in Hollywood.
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And you see all of it.
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It seems like it was trying to criticize
sexism in Hollywood
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but instead of handling it
with any kind of nuance or respect,
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the movie fully shows the sex scenes
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and does the very thing
it's trying to critique.
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The final scene of the movie shows
her winning an Oscar for Best Screenplay
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and calling out the men
who took advantage of her
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in her acceptance speech.
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Then she's booed off stage, and leaves,
and the movie just ends there.
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It's really uncomfortable to watch.
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But somehow the next movie is even worse.
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Ugh, god, ok.
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Bolero is a movie by John Derek.
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John Derek is—
(groan)
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John Derek was an old Hollywood actor
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who appeared in supporting roles in
several big movies in the 1940s and 50s.
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In 1973 when Derek was 47 years old,
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he traveled to Europe to direct
a low-budget movie called
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"Once upon a Love" starring
a 16 year old girl named
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"Mary Cathleen Collins".
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During the production—
(retching)
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I'm sorry.
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During the production,
John Derek left his wife
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and groomed Mary Collins
into a sexual relationship,
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With the two staying in Europe
until she turned 18
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so he could avoid
statutory (censor beep) charges.
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When they got married a few years later,
she changed her name to Bo Derek
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and proceeded to star in all of his movies
until he died in 1998.
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(retching)
(vomit squelching)
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I'm sorry.
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So anyway, Bolero was a movie
about a young woman fresh from college
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who travels to Morocco in Spain
to lose her virginity.
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If that wasn't bad enough,
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this movie features a full-frontal
nudity scene with a 14 year old girl.
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Not an actress playing a 14 year old girl.
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An actual 14 year old girl.
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(retching, vomit squelching)
(coughing)
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If you've never seen any
Rambo movies before
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the image you probably associate
with the word "Rambo"
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is the one where
hypermasculine Sylvester Stallone
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is firing a machine gun
without a shirt on.
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But see, that's actually from this movie,
"Rambo First Blood: Part II",
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which has very little to do
with Part 1 at all.
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The whole point of
the first Rambo movie was that
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Rambo was a Vietnam War veteran
with severe PTSD
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who snaps and kills a bunch of
small-time cops who treat him like shit.
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This sequel, on the other hand
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throws that tragic anti-war character
out the window
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as the US government sends him
back to Vietnam
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to locate prisoners of war
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and Rambo is weirdly ok with that.
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It's like he immediately got over his PTSD
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and just got straight to blowing stuff up,
no problem.
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This movie was
a massive box office success
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and made double of what
the first movie made,
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so naturally, Rambo III also ditched
the anti-war angle
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and sent Rambo to Afghanistan.
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I dunno if someone thought
the first movie was amazing,
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it really sucks to see how quickly
they ruined this character.
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But, like, I get it.
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The people who went to see
these sequels in theaters
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didn't watch it for the plot.
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They watched to see
Sylvester Stallone do this.
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(bow twang)
(explosion)
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In the early 80s, Prince was a rising star.
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And his stardom was cemented in 1984
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with the massive hit that was Purple Rain.
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After the success of Purple Rain,
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Warner Brothers told Prince he was basically allowed to do anything he wanted for his next project,
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greenlighting Under the Cherry Moon without even reading the script
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the story is, Prince plays a guy in the French Rivier named Christopher
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He and his friend Tricky try to scam a rich girl out of her inheritance
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but they both end up falling in love with her.
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Problem with the movie became apparent early on
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when Prince hired someone with no experience to write the script.
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Then 16 days into filming, the director quit.
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And Prince took over even though he had no experience directing a movie before.
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The end result was a movie that features what I can only describe as
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Acting.
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"Don't try anything funny.
Not this time, Christopher."
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"I want the money or I throw you both out onto the street."
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(gasp)
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"That's right, [inaudible]"
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"Throw me onto the street?"
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It's bizarre, it's one of those movies where the acting is so bad it loops around to being funny
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which has given the movie a bit of a cult following over the years
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that and the soundtrack is amazing
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like with Purple Rain Prince released an album with the movie that went Platinum
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and is today remembered as one of the most iconic movies of his career
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After Under the Cherry Moon failed, Prince tried one more time to direct a feature-length movie
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but that one got nominated for a bunch of Razzies too
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and after that he gave up and never tried to direct a movie again.
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Also this here marks the first ever tie in Razzies history with Under the Cherry Moon tieing with
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(laughing)
Howard the Duck.
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(laughing)
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Greetings, Evasive viewers, it is I, young Junko, expert in Bird Law
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and I'm here to defend my client Howard T. Duck,
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star of the Razzies' Worst Film of 1986, Howard The Duck
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For nearly the last 40 years my client's reputation has been tarnished and slandered against
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by quack punch, chicken shit critics for this tragic box office bomb.
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"Central character, the Duck, the one that we're gonna be rooting for,
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he's neither funny, or bit of funny."
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But I'm here to clear the air.
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Howard the Duck is not a movie, no, it's a documentary.
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I know this because I was there.
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We all were.
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My entire clan witnessed my client crash land on Earth
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to star in a motion picture that of which has been
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it's still awful. It's bad. We're not winning this case, buddy.
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"I wasn't trying anything. Honest!"
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This is a strange movie to say the least.
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Howard the Duck notoriously opens with 2 instances of
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full frontal duck booba in the span of 30 seconds.
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But the rest of the movie is this whiplash
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between what's a squeaky clean full house type family movie
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that no one older than the age of 3 years old would find funny
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followed by things like Marty McFly's mom showing off her ass and
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pulling off a condom for Howard's corkscrew.
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"Howard…"
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It's like anti-matter Shrek where they didn't know how to mix adult humor and the kids' [inaudible] properly yet
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so [inaudible] becomes this overly long bland comedy
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with hardly any intentional laughs
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that just happens to throw in something totally obscene every now and then
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- [Howard] Oh!
- I just can't resist your
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intense animal magnetism.
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There's a lot of attempts at duck puns, most are just replacing a random phrase in a word with "duck"
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"That's it. No more Mr. Nice Duck."
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Even the director's name is Willard Hyuck.
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That's a duck name. That's a name you give a duck.
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The first half of the movie has Howard pointlessly meandering
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there's no funny interactions or observations or memorable bits
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it's just an aimless movie with the guy in the duck suit.
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You have an entire portion of the movie
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where Howard has a job as a towel boy in a sex club
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it's fun for the whole family!
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Yeah, Breeders, what the hell.
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Bareback bestiality and pedophilia.
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Oh yeah, we find Howard getting a [inaudible] as a result of a [inaudible] incident.
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Which also [inadubile] a Palpatine somehow returning from the dead and possessing the body of that one actor that's in every 80s movie who'd later be arrested for being a sex pervert.
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"Whaddya think you'd like to eat?"
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"I no longer need human food."
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I need little boy butts.
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You have a movie where a talking duck fires a giant laser
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at a hell portal to stop a horde of alien warlords
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from taking over the Earth
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and they still manage to make it a total snooze fest
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They try to give Howard a bit of edge
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but he still feels too kiddy and sanitized for what they're going for
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And part of that is his design.
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He looks like a cross of a Furby and Mac Culkin.
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There are some things I did like,
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like these alien overlords are pretty cool
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their design and their stop motion is really well done
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and the sequence where Howard gets shot into space
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is pretty neat, pretty impressive to look at.
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I like this sequence where Howard and [inaudible] get a [inaudible]
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and start flying away from the cops
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that was good.
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Yeah, Tim Robins is in this
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Imagine having what's considered one of the best movies of all time as part of your portfolio
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and then on the other end of the spectrum having Howard the Duck,
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now that's range
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Genuinely I was taken aback because some of the shots in this movie
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undeniably go hard.
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I feel like there's a version of this movie that could've actualy been good with less work
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like if they leaned into Howard being this cynical wise-cracking duck
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that's down on his luck who gets thrust into Earth and finds this strange new realm
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isn't so much different from his own
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then it's all about the bills baby put it on my belt
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[inaudible] taking that as an opportunity for a fresh start,
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slowly climbing his way up the corporate ladder
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until becoming a national celebrity that gets caught up in 80s consumerism and greed
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then maybe having begrudgingly involved in some of the weird sci-fi stuff like the comics, i dunno
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I'm not sure how to defend my client, give him the chair.
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(Howard screams)
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(Evasive laughing)
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Alright, I may not be able to defend Howard,
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but know this: from this day forth, I will ensure every client of mine
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is proven innocent.
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Now for my next client, I will be defending one Bill Cosby.
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Bill Co-Bill Cosby.
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I'm good. Your Honor? I would draw. We're done here. We're done.
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It's Leonard, part 6.
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Ask anyone who's seen this movie they'll tell you
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that's when they first knew lil' Bill was a real piece of shit
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When I heard there was a comedy movie
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that just started on part 6
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I thought, hey, maybe this movie could be bad in a good way, at the very least
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Nope, it's just bad, it's boring, it's so boring.
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If there's one thing Cosby was always a master at
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it's making people very sleepy.
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The whole thing was supposed to be a spoof on the spy genre,
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sorta like Naked Gun, except they actually came out a year before that movie
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They really just had the cameras rolling and had Bill Cosby do whatever he wanted
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There's a bunch of weird sex shit
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I mean the clues are all there,
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in the movie his wife divorced him because he slept with a 19 year old
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and his daughter is dating a much older man to further her career as an actress
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so then Leonard has to see her flash her tits on stage
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for no reason, none of these scenes add anything to the movie
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I think Cosby just wanted to look at some young girl tits
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The whole film has this lethargic and slow energy to it
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Everything from the dialogue to the editing,
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it's like watching a movie at 0.5 speed.
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The movie opens with Leonard and an assassin having a little shootout in a kitchen
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The joke being that what they're doing is actually helping to prep some of the food
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Ok, could be funny but the pace of it all is so bizarrely off by a step
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Every gag and bit is like this, like they took something that was
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maybe a 3 out of 10 joke at best and spread it so thin that
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you ask yourself was there even a joke at all to begin with?
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The plot follows Leonard being the best agent in the world
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who's long been retired after being pulled back for one last mission
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after a buncha animals under mind control start killing people
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Yet again a god-awful 80s comedy starts of with an animal looking at a porno mag
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Here's two fucking nickels
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The entire first half is him just stumbling around tryna get back with his ex wife
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who pours soup on him—what is this gag?
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Is this a fetish, Mr. Cosby? You think this was genuinely funny?
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[mocking] We'll have him pour soup.
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Cosby doesn't have a single funny line or hook to his character
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you can tell he's put zero effort into any of this
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It's like he said "Yeah I'll do the movie but I don't wanna look too stupid,
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don't make me look too stupid."
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Most of these so-called jokes are what the most boring uptight person in the world would think being silly is.
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[mocking] Oh, look, wow he's being a ballerina, so girly.
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Oh, wow, he's doing a silly fitness tape, how can he subject himself to that.
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Oh, wee, it's like he thinks these things are so beneath him
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that just him doing it would be funny.
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What a piece of shit.
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You know what really makes me mad, though?
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It's completely unfair. Because everyone seems to be trying, but him.
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There's a part where Leonard tries to free all the animals from captivity,
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and I just wanna recognize this bird right here.
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Who in this 5 second shot, bends the bars of his cage with his beak and breaks free
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God bless this bird.
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This bird put more effort than Bill Cosby in his own movie.
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This bird did not deserve to be in one of the worst movies of all time.
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None of these animals did.
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This ostrich didn't deserve to be betrayed with a sex criminal grinding his pudding pop on its back.
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If audiences in 1987 hated this, watching it now,
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with all the humor naturally diluted even further to the passage of time
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is like drinking a 40 year old can of new coke
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and when Bill's the one handing you the drink
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it's safe to say you probably shouldn't drink it
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(gurgling)
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Cocktail is a movie where young Tom Cruise plays a bartender in Manhattan
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then he movies to Jamaica and falls in love with a girl
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but then he loses her and moves back to New York to win her back
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and that's pretty much it.
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What you see is what you get with this one.
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It's a really mediocre movie.
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Not that good, but not that bad either.
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Well except for this scene where Tom Cruise stands on a bar
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and reads his shitty poetry.
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This is pretty cringey.
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"I see America drinking the fabulous cocktails I make."
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"America's getting stinking on something I stir or shake."
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(laughing)
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"I make drinks so sweet and snazz-ay iced tea the kamikaze,
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(hollering)
the sex on the beach is Schnapps made from peach
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the ball and hammer the Alabama slammer."
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Unsurprisingly with Tom Cruise starring, this movie was a massive success,
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earning a ridiculous 171 million dollars on a 20 million dollar budget.
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It's also the movie the Beach Boys "Kokomo" song was written for.
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Besides that, not much to talk about here.
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I'm pretty sure it only won Worst Picture because this was the year Rain Man was favored to win Best Picture
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and the voters probably thought it was funny to make both the Best and Worst Picture be Tom Cruise movies.
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Ok before making this video, I haven't actually watched any Star Trek at all.
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But because I'm committed to my craft, I went ahead and watched all 6 original movies
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just so I can understand why this one is considered the worst.
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After all that, I—yeah. I get it now.
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It's not a horrible movie but especially compared to the previous ones in the series,
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Star Trek V is pretty bad.
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Pretty much everything went wrong behind the scenes.
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William Shatner directed it with no prior directing experience
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nobody could agree on anything during the writing process,
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there was a writers' strike
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then a Teamsters strike
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They shot a lot of the movie in the Mojave Desert
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which is just as miserable as it sounds.
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And after the filming was done, they only had 3 months to make the special effects,
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and all the best special effects technicians in Hollywood were busy making
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Indiana Jones 3 and Ghostbusters II at the time.
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Do I think this movie deserved Worst Picture?
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No.
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It does some wacky things like introduce Spock's long-lost brother that he never mentioned before
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or show Kirk getting mauled by a cat woman.
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But overall I really don't think it's that bad.
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But to be honest, I'm not a Trekkie who had to see
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Captain Kirk show up on the Enterprise in a "Go climb a rock t-shirt"
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…So…I mean…is that bad?
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I actually don't know.
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Can someone in the comments tell me if that's bad, if that's out of character?
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I actually don't know if I'm supposed to be mad at this or not.
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The Adventures of Ford Fairlane was a "comedy" starring Andrew Dice Clay.
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If you don't know who Andrew Dice Clay is, he was a comedian most active in the late 80s and early 90s
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who was known as the Dice Man,
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which was basically a cover for him to tell the most offensive jokes he possibly could.
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"And they're always on parade."
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"They march down the street with t-shirts and flags saying
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'I want money for AIDS disease.' Beautiful.
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I want money for a fucking car, I ain't marching up and down the street
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Get a job, butt slammer."
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[Evasive] The movie itself is about a detective, I guess,
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I dunno, it's just not funny at all.
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Honestly I was on my phone the whole time because I was just so bored.
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- "I got something serious to discuss."
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"Yeah, what is it, premature ejaculation?"
(laughing)
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"Like that time we were at our parents' wedding anniversary,
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and I told that joke, 'What's the definition of vagina?
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The box that peanuts come in!'" (laugh)
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Gilbert Godfrey plays the only funny character in the movie
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but he dies like 25 minutes in and the rest is just a boring mess to follow.
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The director Renny Harlin was also working on Die Hard 2 at the time
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which ended up in theaters at the exact same time as Ford Fairlane
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and when you look at the money comparison between the two movies
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yeah, it's pretty obvious which movie he cared about more.
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"Clint Eastwood. I fucked him. Oh!"
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[Evasive] 1990 was another tie
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with Ford Fairlane tieing with another movie from unapologetic (censor beep) phile John Derek.
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In this one, Bo Derek plays a woman married to a much older man
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and when the older man dies, his ghost takes up residence in her head
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and goads her into murdering another man
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so he can possess his body and have sex with her again.
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It's a supernatural dirty old man movie
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where John Derek fantasizes about living rent-free in Bo Derek's head after he dies.
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Plus this ended up being his last movie.
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It would be poetic if it wasn't so disgusting.
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"Bo was very very young. Linda was very young…
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I guess I just meet them young,
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before they're wise enough to know I'm not the guy."
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Anyway the acting was bad, the story was bad,
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the visuals are bad,
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but the real cherry on top here was this movie
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was the first film appearance of Donald Trump.
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No joke, Trump's first movie was made by a (censor beep) phile.
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He even does a little duck face in it, look at him.
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Poetic.
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Just watch this clip.
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"Woah!"
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"Happy (inaudible)"
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"Oh no! How's my driving? 1800-I'm gonna-(censor beep)-die!"
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[Evasive] Bruce Willis plays a master burglar fresh out of prison who
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was blackmailed into stealing some art
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but it turns out it's all part of a conspiracy to build a secret machine
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invented by Leonardo Da Vinci that can turn lead into gold.
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At this point in his career, Bruce Willis was mainly known for Die Hard I and II.
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And was looking to branch out a bit with Hudson Hawk.
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But apparently he couldn't decide what he wanted the movie to be.
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In an interview, one of the writers later said:
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I started to know we were in trouble when Joel and Bruce would say during filming
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You know what this is? This is a Pink Panther movie.
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The next day they'd say
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You know what this is? This is an American James Bond movie.
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Then it would be: You know what this is? This is North by Northwest.
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I even remember someone saying:
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You know what this is? This is Casino Royale.
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Eventually I realized that if every day they were saying it was something different
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by the time we got to the editing room, we were gonna be in trouble.
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So yeah, the final product is all over the place,
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but the movie has developed a bit of a cult following over the years
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just because it's so…so silly
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- (screaming)
- Honey?
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- Ball ball?
- Woof!
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(dog screaming)
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[Evasive] Here's another movie that's really not that bad.
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It's a World War II movie where Melanie Griffith is a half Jewish woman
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with no spy experience who signs herself up to be a spy in Berlin
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because she wants to prove herself and save her Jewish cousins who are in hiding.
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Michael Douglas plays another spy
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and pre-Schindler's List Liam Neeson plays a Nazi officer.
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Most of the complaints about the movie were aimed at how unbelievable Melanie Griffith is at being a spy
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because she was really bad at her job.
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Like "spilling soup on Liam Neeson and taking the German kids she's nannying
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to the building her cousins are hiding in" kind of bad
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But overall it's not that awful of a movie
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because the plot holes and writing problems are balanced out by a good soundtrack and good cinematography
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It's just average.
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Not bad enough to be memorable but not good enough that you'd ever wanna watch it again.
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Basically the cinematic equivalent of eating at Denny's.
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I think 1992 was just a slow year for bad movies in general.
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That same year they also nominated Newsies for Worst Picture
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and Danny DeVito for Worst Supporting Actor
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like…what? Why? How?
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What?
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Once again, this is a movie that's not that bad.
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It's a drama where Woody Harrelson and Demi Moore
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play a financially struggling married couple in Vegas
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and Robert Redford is a filthy rich guy
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who offers the couple 1 million dollars for a 1 night stand with Demi Moore.
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Honestly, it's fine.
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It takes itself very seriously and it's vaguely misogynistic at points.
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Also it's completely unbelievable that a man who looks like Robert Redford
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would pay a million dollars to sleep with someone.
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But in the context of the movie it all works.
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Definitely not the worst movie of the year that's for sure.
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I mean you're telling me that Indecent Proposal won Worst Picture but Mr. Nanny wasn't even nominated?
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Razzie voters were asleep at the wheel this year.
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In this one Bruce Willis plays a psychologist who can't see the color red
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who gets wrapped up in a murder after his colleague
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gets killed Assassin's Creed-style and he suspects it was someone in his therapy group.
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I'm so confused why it was even nominated for Worst Picture because this wasn't even a bad movie at all.
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It's surreal and weird sure but it's in a Twin Peaks style of way that still makes it unsettling and fun to watch.
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Definitely a 6.5 out of 10 movie for me.
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Maybe a 7 out of 10 I dunno.
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This is another one that became a cult hit after it was released on home video.
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Partly because of this crazy sex scene in a pool that everybody wanted to see
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It was even streaming on Criterion Channel at one point
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which basically means that it's certified art.
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That's all I have to say.
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I dunno guys, some of these 90s movies aren't even bad enough to complain about.
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There's a lot to be said about Showgirls.
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First of all, Director Paul Verhoeven was the first to accept his Razzie award in person.
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And that's kind of funny.
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And I'm very happy because it was much more fun than reading the reviews in September. Thank you.
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(clapping, cheering)
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Second of all, Showgirls isn't bad.
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It's actually a great movie, in my opinion, and a lot of people agree.
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It is a wild movie about high budget Las Vegas strip shows
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And obviously with subject matter like that
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you're going to view the movie very differently
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depending on your gender and sexuality.
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But regardless of what kind of person you are
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the experience of watching this movie is an absolute rollercoaster
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"One. Two. Three."
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"Thrust it. Thrust it. Thrust it."
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"Come on, thrust it."
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But for as over the top as this movie is
it's also pretty true to life.
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During his research, writer Joe [Esterhazs] interviewed
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over two hundred strippers in Las Vegas
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and the result was a shockingly realistic depiction of the lives of high profile sex workers and performers
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And a biting satire against show business in general.
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Take a look at these tits.
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What are these, watermelons?
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This is a stage, babes, it's not a patch.
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See ya.
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Your ears are sticking out. They are.
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Come back and see me when you get em fixed.
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See ya.
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Can you spell MGM backwards? I bet you can't.
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- MGM.
- I'm impressed.
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Come back when you fuck some of those baby fat off.
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Now in today's era of gritty HBO dramas, none of this is that shocking
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but in 1995 this was next level stuff.
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Plus with the subject matter, this movie has a lot of nudity.
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It was rated NC-17 in America
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and to date it is the only NC-17 movie that was given a wide release in theaters.
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It was so explicit and controversial that MGM had to hire security at every movie theater in America
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just to make sure nobody under the age of 18 snuck into the theater.
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The movie lost millions of dollars and to this day, no studio has ever dared to try and release an NC-17 movie in theaters again.
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If this sounds interesting to you, I actually really recommend giving this movie a watch
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because I can't really do it justice with just words alone.
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Just know what you're getting into before you turn it on
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because this movie is every bit as traumatic as it is glamorous
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And actually to prove to you how much I like this movie, watch this.
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Oh.
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Oh.
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I'm a showgirl.
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I'm a showgirl, baby.
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I'm a showgirl.
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In the mid-90s, Demi Moore was one of the biggest film stars in the world.
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And the world was dying to know, what do Demi Moore's boobs look like?
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That's actually the only reason this movie exists.
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They paid Demi Moore 12.5 million dollars
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the most any woman had ever been paid for a movie role at the time
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just so she would star in this movie and show her boobs to the camera.
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This movie is like if Showgirls was actually bad.
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Demi Moore plays an FBI agent who loses her daughter in a custody battle
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and then becomes a stripper in Florida at a place called Eager Beaver
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to pay for a court appeal.
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She basically girlbosses being a stripper.
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Not in a nuanced way like Showgirls though.
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But in a stupid way that it takes itself seriously
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and is mostly boring and not believable at all.
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Despite the bad reviews, the movie ended up being such a huge success
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and the director-writer-producer Andrew Bergman basically quit Hollywood after this movie
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I'm pretty sure what happened is once he got Demi Moore to agree to go topless,
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he basically just phoned it in for the rest of the movie
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because clearly the audiences who were going to see this
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weren't watching for the plot.
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But what can I say?
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That's showbiz, baby.
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That's…that's showbiz, baby.
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The Postman takes place in a distant future year of 2013
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after much of humanity has been wiped out by a plague.
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Kevin Costner, who also directed the movie,
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stars as a traveling Shakespeare performer that's conscripted to Caesar's Legion
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but he escapes and finds an old mail bag full of mail
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and pretends to be a mailman so he can get food
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and accidentally restarts the US postal service in the process
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Also it's almost 3 hours long.
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Honestly, as most of post apocalyptic adventures go, this one isn't that bad.
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It's about the same level of quality as Waterworld, actually.
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But the fact that it was a 3 hour long Kevin Costner vanity project,
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released just a week after Titanic,
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made it a very easy target for critics.