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I Watched Every Razzie Worst Picture Winner (ft. ​Nikki Carreon & YungJunko)

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    What's up cinephiles,
    I'm Evasive,
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    and this piece of paper right here
    means two things:
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    Number one, I am tens of
    thousands of
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    dollars in debt,
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    and number two, I know a lot
    about movies.
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    And since it looks like the U.S
    government
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    is not going to be giving me any
    debt relief this year,
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    I have no choice now but to
    torture myself on the Internet
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    for money to pay off the loans
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    I took out to go to film school.
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    (eEeEewWwWw!)
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    So for this video, I watched every
    movie that's ever won
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    a Razzie Award for Worst Picture
    of the Year.
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    This was an extremely painful
    experience
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    and I regretted my decision
    immediately,
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    but for the sake of my adoring
    fans
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    and my bank account,
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    I went ahead and watched all 46
    of these
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    movies so I could explain them to
    you.
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    But after the grueling experience
    of watching all these movies,
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    I'm not about to tackle this
    breakdown alone.
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    So I went ahead and roped in
    another video
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    essay girly and a talking trash can
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    to help explain some of these
    movies for me.
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    But before I get to the movies, let
    me explain what the Razzies are.
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    The Golden Raspberry Awards are
    an annual event,
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    usually held the night before the Oscars,
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    to give out awards for the worst
    movies of the year.
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    It was founded by Hollywood
    copywriter
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    John Wilson and editor Maureen
    Murphy.
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    The idea for the Razzies came
    about
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    in 1980 when Wilson saw
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    Can't Stop the Music and Xanadu
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    back to back and hated them both
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    so much he thought there ought
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    to be an award show for this type
    of thing.
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    Months later, Wilson hosted an
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    Oscars watch party at his house,
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    and after the Oscars had finished,
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    he and Murphy passed out ballots
    to everyone at the party to vote
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    on the worst movies of the year,
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    and then he announced the
    winners in his living room.
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    Over time, the ceremony grew and
    grew,
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    and today they're considered a
    staple
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    of the Hollywood award season
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    as a low-budget Bizarro World
    Oscars
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    that distributes awards in
    categories
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    such as Worst Actor, Worst
    Director,
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    and Worst Screenplay.
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    Unlike the qualifications for voting
    at the Oscars, though,
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    becoming a Razzie voter is very
    easy:
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    either be friends with one of the
    producers
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    or just pay a $40 membership fee.
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    That's all it takes.
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    So that's the story of the Razzies.
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    Now, are you ready to learn about
    every single movie
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    that won Worst Picture?
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    Because I wasn't.
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    There's 46 of these things, so I'm
    going to talk about each one
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    just a minute or two
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    and hand off a few to my guests
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    so I don't completely lose my mind here.
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    Also, I put a content warning on a
    bunch of these movies
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    because of the sensitive subject
    matter I discuss.
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    Not trying to traumatize anybody
    but myself in this video...
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    well, me and my guests.
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    But I commissioned them for this,
    so i-- it's fine.
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    Anybody who can swallow
    two snowballs and a ding-dong
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    shouldn't have any trouble with pride.
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    [Evasive] The first movie to win
    Worst Picture was "Can't Stop The Music".
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    A movie about the "origins"
    of the disco group "Village People".
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    I say origins in air-quotes because
    the Village People play themselves
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    and the plot is completely made-up
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    and not at all how
    the Village People actually formed
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    The movie itself is super campy
    and full of these crazy musical numbers
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    that are unironically kinda great.
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    It's just too bad that in between
    those musical numbers are these scenes
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    with really terrible acting
    that go on for way too long.
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    "Wait a minute! I am not taking one
    more step 'til I know where I'm going."
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    "Yeah, quit my job, and you
    got me walking the beat again!"
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    - "And I'm not even getting paid for it!"
    - "Hey, hold your horses."
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    "I told ya I had a surprise for ya."
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    "I hope so. I turned in my
    coin change with the toll booth."
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    [Evasive] By 1980 the disco fad was
    almost over and
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    people loved to hate on
    disco music at the time
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    so you can see why this
    ended up being such a huge bomb.
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    Also, shockingly, this movie marks the
    first film appearance of Caitlyn Jenner
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    and apparently the experience was so bad
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    she didn't appear in a movie again until
    "Jack & Jill 2011".
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    And, uh, well.
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    Mommie Dearest is a "biopic"
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    about the life of actress Joan Crawford's
    adopted daughter Christina.
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    Again, I say biopic in air-quotes
    because the movie was based on
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    Christina Crawford's controversial memoir
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    that other members of Joan Crawford's
    family disavowed when it came out.
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    I haven't done much research on the topic
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    so I'm in no position
    to question this story.
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    But I will say that after
    the movie was made
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    Christina said the film was grotesque
    and not true to her memoir.
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    Released just 4 years after
    Joan Crawford passed away,
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    this movie basically spits all over
    her fresh grave
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    and portrays her as a horrible mother
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    who frequently, physically and emotionally
    abused her daughter.
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    Whether or not this is actually true
    is still a matter of debate.
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    Regardless of the real-life circumstances
    behind the movie,
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    Faye Dunway's performance
    of Joan Crawford is iconic now.
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    People who have unfortunately
    experienced emotional abuse from a parent
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    found her performance
    scarily true to their own life experiences
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    but general audiences thought
    she was just being outrageously campy
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    and over the top the whole movie.
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    Because of its reputation, the movie
    became a queer cult classic over the years
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    especially in the drag community.
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    It was even featured in the most
    recent season of RuPaul's Drag Race.
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    "No wire hangers!"
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    ♫ No more wire hangers ♫
    ♫ Ah, ah! ♫
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    ♫ No, no, wire hangers ♫
    ♫ No, no, no, no ♫
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    [Evasive] Inchon is a movie about
    the battle of Incheon in the Korean War.
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    It was financed and produced
    by the Unification Church,
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    a movement that was and still is
    considered a dangerous cult
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    with a leader who called himself
    the second coming of Jesus Christ.
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    The film's producer was
    a very wealthy member of the church.
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    He said he was instructed by God
    to make the film.
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    So, unsurprisingly, no investors wanted
    any part of this.
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    All 46 million dollars of the budget was
    provided by the church and its followers.
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    The film itself doesn't have much
    to do with the Unification Church.
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    It's a straightforward war movie that's
    just boring and unremarkable.
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    It had some star power but only because
    the actors in it were paid a lot of money.
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    With Laurence Olivier even admitting
    before the movie was released
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    that he was only in it for the money.
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    It was such a flop that no one
    even bothered to release it on home media.
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    The only available version
    of the movie today
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    was from an old VHS rip from when it
    played on Unification Church TV channel.
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    The only thing worth seeing in this movie
    was Laurence Olivier's makeup job.
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    I mean he looks like the Joker.
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    This movie is just tasteless.
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    it's based on a novel by Harold Robbins
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    who was paid 600 000 dollars
    for the film rights
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    and apparently fell asleep
    in the screening room
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    and never actually watched the movie.
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    First of all, in the first 15 minutes,
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    young Ray Liotta,
    in his first ever movie role,
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    sexually assaults the main character
    with a garden hose.
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    After that the rest of the movie
    is just her being forced to have sex
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    with gross older men
    in order to get ahead in Hollywood.
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    And you see all of it.
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    It seems like it was trying to criticize
    sexism in Hollywood
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    but instead of handling it
    with any kind of nuance or respect,
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    the movie fully shows the sex scenes
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    and does the very thing
    it's trying to critique.
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    The final scene of the movie shows
    her winning an Oscar for Best Screenplay
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    and calling out the men
    who took advantage of her
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    in her acceptance speech.
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    Then she's booed off stage, and leaves,
    and the movie just ends there.
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    It's really uncomfortable to watch.
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    But somehow the next movie is even worse.
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    Ugh, god, ok.
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    Bolero is a movie by John Derek.
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    John Derek is—
    (groan)
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    John Derek was an old Hollywood actor
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    who appeared in supporting roles in
    several big movies in the 1940s and 50s.
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    In 1973 when Derek was 47 years old,
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    he traveled to Europe to direct
    a low-budget movie called
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    "Once upon a Love" starring
    a 16 year old girl named
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    "Mary Cathleen Collins".
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    During the production—
    (retching)
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    I'm sorry.
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    During the production,
    John Derek left his wife
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    and groomed Mary Collins
    into a sexual relationship,
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    With the two staying in Europe
    until she turned 18
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    so he could avoid
    statutory (censor beep) charges.
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    When they got married a few years later,
    she changed her name to Bo Derek
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    and proceeded to star in all of his movies
    until he died in 1998.
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    (retching)
    (vomit squelching)
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    I'm sorry.
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    So anyway, Bolero was a movie
    about a young woman fresh from college
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    who travels to Morocco in Spain
    to lose her virginity.
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    If that wasn't bad enough,
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    this movie features a full-frontal
    nudity scene with a 14 year old girl.
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    Not an actress playing a 14 year old girl.
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    An actual 14 year old girl.
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    (retching, vomit squelching)
    (coughing)
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    If you've never seen any
    Rambo movies before
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    the image you probably associate
    with the word "Rambo"
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    is the one where
    hypermasculine Sylvester Stallone
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    is firing a machine gun
    without a shirt on.
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    But see, that's actually from this movie,
    "Rambo First Blood: Part II",
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    which has very little to do
    with Part 1 at all.
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    The whole point of
    the first Rambo movie was that
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    Rambo was a Vietnam War veteran
    with severe PTSD
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    who snaps and kills a bunch of
    small-time cops who treat him like shit.
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    This sequel, on the other hand
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    throws that tragic anti-war character
    out the window
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    as the US government sends him
    back to Vietnam
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    to locate prisoners of war
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    and Rambo is weirdly ok with that.
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    It's like he immediately got over his PTSD
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    and just got straight to blowing stuff up,
    no problem.
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    This movie was
    a massive box office success
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    and made double of what
    the first movie made,
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    so naturally, Rambo III also ditched
    the anti-war angle
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    and sent Rambo to Afghanistan.
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    I dunno if someone thought
    the first movie was amazing,
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    it really sucks to see how quickly
    they ruined this character.
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    But, like, I get it.
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    The people who went to see
    these sequels in theaters
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    didn't watch it for the plot.
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    They watched to see
    Sylvester Stallone do this.
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    (bow twang)
    (explosion)
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    In the early 80s, Prince was a rising star.
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    And his stardom was cemented in 1984
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    with the massive hit that was Purple Rain.
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    After the success of Purple Rain,
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    Warner Brothers told Prince he was basically allowed to do anything he wanted for his next project,
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    greenlighting Under the Cherry Moon without even reading the script
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    the story is, Prince plays a guy in the French Rivier named Christopher
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    He and his friend Tricky try to scam a rich girl out of her inheritance
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    but they both end up falling in love with her.
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    Problem with the movie became apparent early on
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    when Prince hired someone with no experience to write the script.
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    Then 16 days into filming, the director quit.
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    And Prince took over even though he had no experience directing a movie before.
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    The end result was a movie that features what I can only describe as
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    Acting.
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    "Don't try anything funny.
    Not this time, Christopher."
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    "I want the money or I throw you both out onto the street."
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    (gasp)
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    "That's right, [inaudible]"
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    "Throw me onto the street?"
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    It's bizarre, it's one of those movies where the acting is so bad it loops around to being funny
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    which has given the movie a bit of a cult following over the years
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    that and the soundtrack is amazing
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    like with Purple Rain Prince released an album with the movie that went Platinum
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    and is today remembered as one of the most iconic movies of his career
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    After Under the Cherry Moon failed, Prince tried one more time to direct a feature-length movie
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    but that one got nominated for a bunch of Razzies too
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    and after that he gave up and never tried to direct a movie again.
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    Also this here marks the first ever tie in Razzies history with Under the Cherry Moon tieing with
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    (laughing)
    Howard the Duck.
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    (laughing)
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    Greetings, Evasive viewers, it is I, young Junko, expert in Bird Law
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    and I'm here to defend my client Howard T. Duck,
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    star of the Razzies' Worst Film of 1986, Howard The Duck
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    For nearly the last 40 years my client's reputation has been tarnished and slandered against
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    by quack punch, chicken shit critics for this tragic box office bomb.
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    "Central character, the Duck, the one that we're gonna be rooting for,
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    he's neither funny, or bit of funny."
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    But I'm here to clear the air.
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    Howard the Duck is not a movie, no, it's a documentary.
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    I know this because I was there.
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    We all were.
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    My entire clan witnessed my client crash land on Earth
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    to star in a motion picture that of which has been
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    it's still awful. It's bad. We're not winning this case, buddy.
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    "I wasn't trying anything. Honest!"
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    This is a strange movie to say the least.
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    Howard the Duck notoriously opens with 2 instances of
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    full frontal duck booba in the span of 30 seconds.
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    But the rest of the movie is this whiplash
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    between what's a squeaky clean full house type family movie
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    that no one older than the age of 3 years old would find funny
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    followed by things like Marty McFly's mom showing off her ass and
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    pulling off a condom for Howard's corkscrew.
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    "Howard…"
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    It's like anti-matter Shrek where they didn't know how to mix adult humor and the kids' [inaudible] properly yet
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    so [inaudible] becomes this overly long bland comedy
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    with hardly any intentional laughs
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    that just happens to throw in something totally obscene every now and then
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    - [Howard] Oh!
    - I just can't resist your
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    intense animal magnetism.
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    There's a lot of attempts at duck puns, most are just replacing a random phrase in a word with "duck"
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    "That's it. No more Mr. Nice Duck."
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    Even the director's name is Willard Hyuck.
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    That's a duck name. That's a name you give a duck.
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    The first half of the movie has Howard pointlessly meandering
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    there's no funny interactions or observations or memorable bits
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    it's just an aimless movie with the guy in the duck suit.
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    You have an entire portion of the movie
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    where Howard has a job as a towel boy in a sex club
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    it's fun for the whole family!
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    Yeah, Breeders, what the hell.
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    Bareback bestiality and pedophilia.
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    Oh yeah, we find Howard getting a [inaudible] as a result of a [inaudible] incident.
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    Which also [inadubile] a Palpatine somehow returning from the dead and possessing the body of that one actor that's in every 80s movie who'd later be arrested for being a sex pervert.
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    "Whaddya think you'd like to eat?"
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    "I no longer need human food."
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    I need little boy butts.
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    You have a movie where a talking duck fires a giant laser
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    at a hell portal to stop a horde of alien warlords
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    from taking over the Earth
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    and they still manage to make it a total snooze fest
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    They try to give Howard a bit of edge
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    but he still feels too kiddy and sanitized for what they're going for
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    And part of that is his design.
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    He looks like a cross of a Furby and Mac Culkin.
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    There are some things I did like,
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    like these alien overlords are pretty cool
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    their design and their stop motion is really well done
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    and the sequence where Howard gets shot into space
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    is pretty neat, pretty impressive to look at.
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    I like this sequence where Howard and [inaudible] get a [inaudible]
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    and start flying away from the cops
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    that was good.
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    Yeah, Tim Robins is in this
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    Imagine having what's considered one of the best movies of all time as part of your portfolio
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    and then on the other end of the spectrum having Howard the Duck,
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    now that's range
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    Genuinely I was taken aback because some of the shots in this movie
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    undeniably go hard.
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    I feel like there's a version of this movie that could've actualy been good with less work
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    like if they leaned into Howard being this cynical wise-cracking duck
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    that's down on his luck who gets thrust into Earth and finds this strange new realm
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    isn't so much different from his own
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    then it's all about the bills baby put it on my belt
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    [inaudible] taking that as an opportunity for a fresh start,
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    slowly climbing his way up the corporate ladder
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    until becoming a national celebrity that gets caught up in 80s consumerism and greed
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    then maybe having begrudgingly involved in some of the weird sci-fi stuff like the comics, i dunno
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    I'm not sure how to defend my client, give him the chair.
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    (Howard screams)
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    (Evasive laughing)
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    Alright, I may not be able to defend Howard,
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    but know this: from this day forth, I will ensure every client of mine
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    is proven innocent.
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    Now for my next client, I will be defending one Bill Cosby.
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    Bill Co-Bill Cosby.
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    I'm good. Your Honor? I would draw. We're done here. We're done.
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    It's Leonard, part 6.
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    Ask anyone who's seen this movie they'll tell you
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    that's when they first knew lil' Bill was a real piece of shit
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    When I heard there was a comedy movie that
Title:
I Watched Every Razzie Worst Picture Winner (ft. ​Nikki Carreon & YungJunko)
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Video Language:
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Duration:
01:23:02

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