Todd Valentine Manifesto -- How To Pick Up Girls From Hello To Sex -- In Field Examples

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sfFsnm7mk1c

Todd: Hello. May I be sweet and presumptuous
for a second?

Woman #1: Sure.

Todd: Oh, I like your attitude already.

Todd: I feel like you're going to keep me
on my toes.

Woman #1: Oh, all right. I'm good at that.

Todd: Really?

Todd: I don't know if I can trust you.

Woman #1: Why?

Todd: That look in your eyes, very devious.

Woman #1: I'm very trustworthy.

Todd: Are you really?

Woman #1: I am.

Todd: I don't know how I feel about that.
Come on. Let's get a drink.

Woman #1: I am trustworthy.

Todd: I have to be more drunk for this conversation.

Woman #1: Do you?

Woman #1: I don't think you're very shy. Absolutely.
I think that's a ploy.

Todd: A ploy?

Woman #1: Yes.

Todd: What on earth would I be ploying?

Woman #1: I don't know.

Todd: What excites you?

Woman #1: What excites me? Let's see. Good
conversation, new experiences, risks.

Man #1: Thanks a lot. You guys have a good
night.

Todd: After you.

Man #1: You guys take care. Thank you.

Todd: Thank you very much. Take care, sir.
___0:55 Yeah. How good does the airconditioning

feel?

Todd: I actually want to start backwards.
I want to start at the end. I want to start

with closing. Okay? The structure we're going
to follow for how to go from open to close

is open, hook, emotional connection, physical
connection, and then close. Okay? But the

reason why I want to teach close first is
this. When guys learn the early stages, a

lot of times, they'll learn how to do something
in sort of a gimmicky way or a way that doesn't

get them the whole way 'cause they don't have
the end in mind. For example, when we did

canned structured game, a lot of times, you
could fall into what we call like dancing

monkey mode which is you go in, you're very
high energy, you're telling a lot of stories,

you're making yourself like the center of
attention; and because you're entertaining

and engaging, you'll get the girl into you.
You'll get the girl hooked, but she is hooked

on the entertainment. She is not hooked on
you as a person. What would happen is as long

as you're being entertaining, as long as you're
like being the dancing monkey and doing like

magic tricks and like telling jokes, she likes
you. As soon as that subsides, she's like,

"That was fun. Thanks" and leaves because
she never actually hooked on you. She hooked

on the activity, or she hooked on the entertainment.
Okay? And that's because we're focused on

how do you try and hook every set, not how
do you get laid as often as possible. All

right? So we are focusing on things that appear
to get us somewhere along the way but didn't

get us the whole way. Okay? So what I kind
of want to start with is I want you to think

about what would be the ideal scenario at
the end of a pickup. How should it look like

when you get her to your bedroom? Okay? And
what I'm going to say is it shouldn't look

like you escalating her; and like you try
and touch her; and she's like, "No"; and you

try and touch her more; and she's like, "No,
no, no." It should not look like that. It

should look the opposite. It should look like
her escalating on you. It should look like

at the very least 'cause her escalating on
you, that's pretty extreme. It's nice when

it happens; but at the very least, it should
look like her participating in the escalation.

Okay? She needs to be an active participant
and a willing participant, ideally. Now, there

will be a lot of times when you will get last
minute resistance. That's nature of the game;

and if you're never getting last minute resistance,
that means you're not pulling enough. If you're

only getting the girls home that are so into
you they're escalating on you, that's a problem,

too, 'cause it means you're only getting that
small segment. However, ideally, you should

structure things so that it's possible that
could happen. You need to structure things

with that end in mind. Okay? So that's what
you're going for. So with that said, everything

you do along the way from the open all the
way to the close should be with the idea of

getting the girl to invest, getting the girl
to chase you. That is absolutely critical

to what you're doing in game. Okay? So it's
not like game is something you do to her.

Game is an experience you give her and you
have with her that allows her to start escalating

on you and chasing you. All right? And so
I like to say that LMR starts from the open.

Okay? Last minute resistance doesn't start
in the bedroom. It starts from hello. Does

that make sense? Okay. So let's look at what's
going to go down when you do get a girl back

to your place or back to a bedroom.

Todd: Okay. A few things that guys commonly
mess up on. First mistake that guys make a

lot, they will get the girl back to their
place and immediately the second they're in

the door try and make out with her like pseudo-rape
her when they walk in the door. Okay? Now,

what does this convey to the girl? It conveys
a few very bad things. Number one, it conveys

that you're horny and needy. Okay? Number
two, it conveys that you haven't been there

before. Right? If you were a guy who was having
sex every single night with a hot girl, when

you got a girl back to your place, would that
be a moment of extreme excitement for you?

Would that be a moment where you have to take
huge action or would that just be like another

sort of moment in your life that you can enjoy
as it is and take for its own sake as opposed

to having an outcome in mind and as opposed
to having an objective for the girl? Okay?

Everything that you do should come from the
idea of making an experience for the girl.

Julien has this idea which I really, really
like. He says, "Think of the pickup like a

movie." Okay? The sex is the last five minutes
of the movie. That's the best part. However,

the last five minutes of the movie don't mean
anything without the rest of the movie before.

You wouldn't want to turn on a movie and just
watch only the last five minutes. Now, as

guys, we kind of would. As guys, we love like
the porno idea. Right? It's like we walk up.

You do something like crazy like cheesy '70s
music in the background; and within like a

minute, your dick is inside of her; and that
can happen sometimes; but most of the time,

that's not how it's going to happen. Most
of the time, you need to have that experience;

and it needs to be something that just happened
as opposed to something that was preplanned

because the girl doesn't want to feel slutty
about it. Okay? That's a key component of

game is the idea that girls want sex. Sex
is better for them, but it's your job as a

man to make them not slutty. Okay? In fact,
almost everything you do in terms of logistics;

in terms of setting up the pull; in terms
of managing what comes out of your mouth,

avoiding certain phrases, that's all to keep
the girl from feeling slutty. And when you

get the girl back to your place, not jumping
on her in the first five minutes makes her

not feel as slutty. It makes her feel like
she can be calm and relaxed and safe around

you and let things unfold in a way that's
pleasurable to her as opposed to forced on

her. Second mistake guys make when they get
back to their place is they will try and get

the girl immediately and directly into the
bedroom. Again, this can work if the girl

is super down and super on; but it's not necessary;
and it will widen your scope if you don't

do it. Okay? Here's another key component
of game or key idea in game. At any given

point in the game whether it be open, close,
anywhere, there's a certain level of things

you can get away with and there's a certain
range of girls that will be receptive. For

example, on the open, if you open with "Hey,
I want to fuck you now..." If this big circle

here is the entire like range of women on
the planet, the girls who are receptive to

"I want to fuck you now" is probably like
this. Right? Some tiny little circle within

that range. If you went up to every girl and
said, "Hey, I want to fuck you now," some

girls will be receptive to it. Some girls,
the ones that are receptive to it, will be

very down; and you would get laid if you just
did it enough. Okay? But you're limiting yourself

to this tiny segment here instead of the broad
scope of all the girls available to you. If

instead you said, "Hey, you're kind of cute.
I'd like to talk to you," instead of this

little bit, you're going to get a much bigger
segment; and within that segment, you're going

to get all the same ones you would have gotten
with that smaller segment. Okay? Similarly,

if the second you get a girl back to your
place, you like try and rape her in the door

and run her into the bedroom, certain small
percentage of girls will be down for that

at that point; but that percentage would also
be down for a bit of a slower approach as

long as you're escalating; so it makes more
sense - you've already invested this time

and you've gotten the girl back to your place
- to take that slower approach, have a higher

percentage chance of it working; and then
it'll still work on the girls that are super

down as well. Does that make sense? Okay?
So a lot of what you're doing in game is you're

trying to play the percentages. You're trying
to do things in an intelligent manner that

is going to give you the highest possible
chance of succeeding. So first mistake, don't

rape her in the door. Second mistake, don't
take her straight to the bedroom. If you take

her straight to the bedroom, it's conveying,
again, you just want sex. Right? If instead

you're like, "Hey, what's up? Do you want
to drink? Have a seat for a second. I'm going

to go wash my hands" whatever... Whatever
you're doing, you get her comfortable in your

place. You let it happen more naturally. You
escalate more naturally. Then, again, you're

widening the scope of girls that will be receptive
to that.

Todd: Now, that doesn't give you the excuse
to just chode around and never make a move.

That's actually worse. Right? That's probably
the biggest male mistake is not making a move,

so that's the opposite in the spectrum is
just sitting with them and never trying anything.

Don't go there either. Okay. So you got them
back to your place, chill with them on the

couch, and realize also... or chill with them
on the couch, balcony, living room, wherever

and realize you don't even need a bedroom
to have sex. I would say over the last year

of my life, most of the sex I've had did not
start in a bed. Okay? Now, a lot of it finished

in a bed; but most of it probably did not
start in a bed. A lot of it started on a couch

or standing up against the wall or beside
a pool or in a bathroom somewhere or wherever.

Okay? And the reason for that is that it's
actually easier, surprisingly; or in an alley,

it's actually easier; and funny enough, here's
the really ironic thing. The girl will oftentimes

feel less slutty about fucking you in an alley
than about fucking you in a bed, maybe not

afterwards but at the time of. Okay? And the
reason why is because when it's in an alley

or by a pool, it just happened. When it is
in a bed or in a bedroom, they acknowledge

that they were going there and they willingly
went with you to a bedroom; so they have some

volition in the activity. They have some fault.
Right? They are somehow responsible. Right?

A big part of your job as a man is to take
the responsibility off of their shoulders,

so don't think that it has to go down in a
bedroom. Don't think any of that. The key

components for sex are you're alone enough
that she's not going to get caught and she's

aroused enough to do it. That's pretty much
it. Okay? Those are the only criteria for

sex. Everything else is superfluous. Now,
certain situations are better or easier than

others; but everything else is not completely
necessary; so that's all you're working on.

Again, from open to close, all you're working
on is get her alone with you and get her aroused

enough for it to happen. That's it, nothing
more than that. Okay? And be flexible and

be creative in how you do that. Don't think
that it has to go by some standard plan.

Todd: Once you get to actually escalating
with the girl, key concept in escalation,

two steps forward, one step back. Many of
you will have heard this before. All right?

Two steps forward, one step back. The idea
here is you always want to be pushing forward

to the level that she is okay with but no
further. Okay? If you push too far, you get

a no; and it's okay to get nos; but they make
it take longer. Okay? Ironically, by trying

to go faster, you will go slower because you'll
introduce the word no into the equation. Okay?

So you're trying to go too fast; you get a
no; and instead of trying to save that five

minutes by going too fast or by going faster,
you waste 45 minutes of her rejecting you

and getting uncomfortable and you having to
back all the way up and start over again.

You're much better off not pushing to the
point of no but pushing to the point just

short of no and then backing off. However,
on the flip side, you do have to push. You

do have to make the move. The girl will not
make the move for you 95% of the time. Okay?

You have to be pushing forward. Two steps
forward, one step back. The key idea here,

though, is that the girl already likes you.
By the time you've gotten the girl back to

your place, again, emotionally, she likes
you; and ideally, logically, she likes you.

She's made some sort of commitment to you.
She said things like "I like you," "You're

cute," "You're amazing." She's done some physical
escalation on you. It doesn't have to be much.

Even a little bit is huge; but she is already
committed to some degree; so basically, you're

trading... Trading discomfort is what I'm
going to call it. Okay? So you're pushing

forward. You're escalating. She might be a
little uncomfortable with that escalation.

She might be a little uncomfortable with your
hand going to a certain place on her body.

However, if you were to withdraw your attention
because, you know, she says no or whatever

and you back off and then there's that awkward
silence or there's that lack of stimulation,

that lack of stimulation should feel worse
to her than whatever escalation you were doing

or did. Does that make sense? Okay? So the
fact of losing your attention feels more uncomfortable

than the escalation, so that's her trade-off.
Right? And when that's the trade-off, it's

easier to allow you to escalate than not.
When it's more painful and more awkward for

you to escalate, then that's when she'll resist
it. Okay? So that's the equation we're looking

for, and the key thing you're looking for
next is what I call the point of no return.

Point of no return is a concept that came
to me very, very painfully over many, many

pulls that didn't go down; and what I would
notice is that if I had a date that went really

well like really, really well, it would usually
end in sex. I had a date that went like kind

of well. Usually, we'd get back to my place;
and like we'd hang out a little bit, maybe

make out a little bit. It wouldn't go too
far; and then like she'd leave; and then oftentimes,

she'd come out for like another date later;
and then something could actually go down.

However, the ones that were kind of in-between
that were really on but for some reason didn't

quite get to sex, the ones where like clothes
are coming off, I'm fingering her, it's real

hot and heavy like pulling hair and saying
all kinds of like slutty type of things, and

then for some reason like sex doesn't happen,
I found that almost never would I get a call

back from the girl later. Almost never would
I get another date later, so that point where

you're not going to get another date is what
I call the point of no return. Okay? If you

go past that point, you better damn well have
sex; or you're never seeing the girl again.

Okay? Be aware of where that point is. Now,
where is that point generally? It depends

on case by case; but typically, it's where
you're doing something that's so overtly sexual,

she can't justify it. Okay? So she starts
talking like super dirty to you. That can

be point of no return; or for a lot of girls,
it's when you actually start like fingering

them. Like once your finger has actually like
touched vagina, then point of no return. All

right? So you want to be very careful and
cautious of when it happens. The other one

is when her clothes start coming off, point
of no return. Okay? But you'll kind of know

it for any particular girl. You'll kind of
get a sense for "Oh, my God. This is about

to happen" or not; and when that's the case,
you want to be very careful that they are

participating because if you're going across
the point of no return and you're pushing

and they're resisting, there is a very high
likelihood you're going to get last minute

resistance, it's not going to go down, and
then you're going to never see the girl again.

Right? And even if it's a one-night stand
situation, within the last minute resistance

itself, if you push past the point of no return
in the wrong way, you're more likely to get

her flipping out and like leaving as opposed
to staying; letting you recycle and try again;

or letting you stay like take her for a quick
walk, bring her back, and then start all over

again. As long as you haven't crossed the
point of no return, you have a lot of those

options. Once you've crossed that point, when
she leaves, she is really leaving so be very

cognizant of that; and the things you want
to look for at that point are "Is she escalating

on you?" That's the biggest one, and it doesn't
have to be much. Right? If you're making out

with her and she just like squeezes your back
a little bit or starts running her hands up

and down your back, that's good. Right? If
she kisses you unprovoked, that's good. If

she starts nibbling on your neck, that's good.
Anything that she's doing to you that doesn't

give her direct pleasure is very, very, very
good. If she ever asks you to escalate, that's

good. If she says, "I need you to kiss me
here" or "Take my hand," that sort of thing,

that's very good. Again, anything where she
is an active participant in the sex, that's

what you want. Okay? You want that to be the
case. Also ideally, the entire interaction

to this point should have been structured
in such a way that occasionally she's chasing

you. Okay? 'Cause, again, if you're chasing,
chasing, chasing, she's pushing away, pushing

away, pushing away, that's not a good vibe
for the interaction. That's a vibe that leads

to bad last minute resistance as opposed to
good last minute resistance; so that's very,

very critical. Also, if you're pushing forward
the whole way and never pushing her away and

never making her chase, she knows how the
movie ends. Right? Again, take this movie

metaphor. If you went to a movie and you knew
in advance how the movie ended, you would

enjoy it less than if you didn't. You'd enjoy
the movie less than if there was suspense

so keep that suspense there. Keep her chasing
to a certain degree. That's absolutely critical

for the close; but because it's critical for
the close, it's critical throughout the entire

rest of the set.

Todd: Other quick tips for the close. Take
your clothes off first. Okay? Why is that?

So say that you're getting hot and heavy.
You're escalating with a girl. It's getting

pretty intense, and you start like trying
to take her clothes off. There's a very good

chance that she may try and like hold them
on or she may be resistant to that. Okay?

And her resistance will take a physical form.
It will take an active form. Whereas, contrast

that to say you're halfway across the room
or you're even closer or whatever and instead

of trying to take her shirt off, you take
your shirt off. Right? The message being conveyed

is the same. The message being conveyed is
still "This is going in a sexual direction."

However, she is much less likely to grab your
shirt and try and hold it on than she is to

grab hers and hold it on. Does that make sense?
So you're getting the same message across

in a way that requires less compliance. That's
another very key concept to effective game.

Okay? Most of what you do with a girl, most
of the escalation you do, the escalation itself

isn't that important. What's more important
is the message you're conveying when you escalate.

Okay? So taking your shirt off conveys the
same message as taking her shirt off; but

taking your shirt off is easier; so most of
the time, taking your shirt off is the better

move. Make sense? Right? Or trying to finger
her is... You know, it conveys one message.

Putting her hand on your dick conveys the
same message. Now, fingering her arouses her

much more; so there is something to be said
for that one; but that said, the message is

the same; and the one is far less risky especially
if you can do it as though it's almost like

an accident. Okay? So you can do it, so it's
not her fault, so look for ways that you can

do that. Look for ways that you can get the
same communication, that same level of intensity,

that same level of sexuality and sensuality
without making it her fault, without for asking

compliance; and that theme is going to come
up over and over and over again as we discuss

all the other stages of the pickup.

Todd: Other concepts for last minute resistance.
Tease, tease, tease, tease, tease. Don't go

straight for it unless it's extremely on.
Say that you have a girl who is making out

with you, and you probably could finger her,
but she might or might not resist. Should

you do it? Well, unless there's an extreme
time constraint, probably not. Okay? Probably

not. Probably what you should do instead is
you run your hand up her thigh, run it right

up near there, and then pull it away, and
tease her, and make her want it instead of

doing it. All right? Because, again, the thing
you're conveying is the same. You're arousing

her just as much. In some ways, even though
you're not arousing her as much physically,

psychologically and emotionally you might
be arousing her even more; and you're creating

a situation where she is wanting it and wondering
why you didn't as opposed to wondering why

you did. All right? Or as opposed to thinking
that she's slutty because you did. Okay? So

again, ideally, this is all about flipping
the script, getting it to a situation where

she is trying to make it happen rather than
just you trying to make it happen. A couple

moves that I absolutely love for last minute
resistance. These are my two nuclear last

minute resistance moves. First one is once
you start making out with a girl, getting

very physical, it's going down, one thing
I love to do is while you're like, again,

on a floor, on a bed, up against the wall,
take both of the girl's hands in one of yours

and pin them like up above her hand. All right?
Now, don't pin them so heavily that you're

literally kidnapping the girl or like pseudo-raping
her. Just get the idea. Right? The fact that

you're holding them at all will first of all
arouse her. A lot of girls like being dominated.

A lot of girls like that sort of energy; but
even beyond that, if you're holding two of

her hands in one of yours, that means you
have a free hand; and a free hand is a very,

very good thing in last minute resistance.
Okay? So you now have a free hand. Your hand

can wander. All right? And as your hand wanders,
you want to be very cognizant of what she's

feeling and what she's thinking. Okay? So
ideally, whenever you're coming to a place

of, again, point of no return or a place that's
a little risky, you want to be very cognizant

of it. So say that you're running your hand
up her thigh. You're thinking, "Maybe I will.

Maybe I won't"; and then you notice she gets
a little bit tense. Right? Before going the

rest of the way and getting her extra tense,
just brush it aside. Go back down the outside

of the thigh as though you never intended
to do it, as though you were teasing her.

Right? And most of the time, she doesn't know
that she tensed up slightly. I mean she knows

she was starting to feel a little uncomfortable,
but she doesn't know she actually showed it,

and so she doesn't know that she said no.
She thinks you said no. She thinks that you

were just like so attuned to what's going
on with her that you knew exactly the moment

she was uncomfortable and pulled away, and
so she thinks you have this massive connection.

She thinks that you know exactly how to please
her. She thinks you're amazing in bed. Does

that make sense? Also, she's wondering, "Why
didn't he? I didn't stop him. Why didn't he?

Does he really like me? Is he really doing
this? Is he teasing me?," that sort of thing;

so again, it's a much better frame. The other
great thing about the two hands in one is

that if they are going to give a big resistance,
they're probably going to do it with their

hands; but probably, they're not going to
do it directly. They'll move their hands or

fidget or check how like loose or tight it
is beforehand; so when you start noticing

motion in the hands, that's another key signal
to back off, take a minute, and then re-escalate.

Right? So by doing this, you're able to go
through the process of getting the information

of the no which is important information.
You need that information of she's not comfortable

with it, but you get the information without
actually hearing no. Okay? So it's much, much

more effective; and you avoid that 45-minute
recycle of the no. Make sense? Now, don't

be so terrified of the no. Don't be so scared
that like she can never say no. Just try and

minimize it. Try and minimize it. Try and
make the process as smooth as you possibly

can. Okay? One other philosophy on this that
I don't use so often but it's a very valid

philosophy used by a lot of guys who are very
good at game is completely the opposite which

is I said, "Don't hear no"; what they say
is "Hear no so many times that the word no

loses its meaning." All right? And they make
a distinction between what they call a soft

no and a hard no, and a soft no is like "No,
no, no," and a hard no is like "No. Police.

Rape." Okay. That's a hard no. Soft no is
like, "Haha, no, no, no, haha. What are we

doing? No, we shouldn't." Okay? As long as
you're getting soft nos, it's okay. Just be

very, very aware of the hard no. Okay? And
so that's another form of teasing is you can

tease the soft no, so to speak. You can find
out like what they give the soft no to and

like kind of do it a little bit and then pull
away, do it a little bit and pull away; so

they end up saying the word no so many times
in a way that doesn't mean anything, that

they almost can't say it at a time when it
does. Okay? That sounds a little rapey, but

the idea here is that you're getting sort
of like positive compliance, and the fact

that they're giving you a soft no at all means
that they really like you. Okay? So you want

to work it through that one; so that's an
alternative; but the key premise, though,

is that you're avoiding the hard no. One way
or another, whether you do it through a lot

of soft nos or whether you do it through like
being very smooth in your escalation, you're

avoiding that hard, severe no that sets you
back because that is what would make it take

way too long.

Todd: I know many, many times when I pull
a girl, if I have a time constraint or I feel

like I have to get up early in the morning
or she has an early flight and I'm in a rush,

a lot of times, if that rush makes me push
faster, I mess it up. I get a no, and then

I don't end up making it. A lot of times,
on the other hand, if I know I have a rush

and I just decide, "You know what? This is
either going to go down or it's not. I'm just

going to do the best I can. I'm going to enjoy
the process," so often it goes down like so

instantly it's like it makes my head spin.
All right? I remember a lot of my best pulls

over the last year were... I was in Vegas,
flying out the next day to go to a boot camp;

and I have like a six a.m. flight; so I need
to like leave for the airport like four or

something like that; and so I'm probably not
even packed half the time; so I'm thinking

to myself, "There's no way I can pull tonight.
This is ridiculous. I don't even know why

I'm out." I'm just like, "Oh, I'll just help
my students out. I'll just go have some fun.

I'll just joke around." The next thing you
know, some girl is like, "I love you. You're

amazing" and making out with me. I'm like,
"Holy shit"; and home we go. Why? Because

I'm not pushing it. I'm not trying to rush
anything. I'm just letting it happen naturally;

and when you're letting it happen naturally,
you're conveying non-neediness. You're being

in the moment, and that's what makes it work.
All right? So you want that same vibe throughout

the interaction but especially at the close,
especially at that moment when you could get

the most outcome-dependent. You want to be
truly enjoying the moment, enjoying the escalation

with the girl, as opposed to just thinking
in your head that like escalation is a checkbox.

Right? It's not like tick this box then tick
this box then tick this box. It's not like

that. It should be an experience, and it should
be enjoyed by both parties. Okay? Quick word

on it not being a checkbox. One of the most
important escalation moves for a lot of guys

is the kiss. Right? Everybody thinks, you
know, you kiss a girl and you're down. Well,

I've slept with, I think, roughly around I
would say 10 or 12 girls in my life who would

not kiss me before sleeping with me. Right?
Now, as compared to the total number of girls

I've slept with, that's a tiny fraction; but
it's significant; and interestingly enough,

a lot of those were among the hottest girls
I've ever slept with so definitely a worthwhile

fraction; and why is that? Why would a girl
sleep with you but not kiss you? Well, a lot

of the other escalation moves you can do are
not her fault; but the kiss definitely is

her fault 'cause she's participating. Right?
So especially if a girl has a boyfriend, she

may not want to kiss you. She may be aroused
by everything. She may allow things to happen,

but she may not want the kiss to happen 'cause
she has fault in that. Again, some of the

hottest girls I've ever slept with who in
some cases I know had boyfriends - they told

me either before or after - and some cases
I don't know but I would assume they probably

did, they did the absolute maximum to make
it not their fault. Right? They basically

like gave me shit tests the entire way home,
never gave me a single positive, never escalated

with me overtly; but they just kind of like
allowed me to stay with them, allowed me to

get into bed with them, allowed me to like
stay over; and then when I started escalating,

they gave me kind of soft no but not hard
no. Right? And then one thing led to another.

It just happened; and probably, they didn't
kiss me; and oftentimes, they didn't even

kiss me after sex. Okay? So even the kiss
which a lot of people think is one of the

key moves for escalation is not necessary
to escalate. Right? If the kiss isn't necessary,

certainly holding her hand or hugging her
or pulling her hair, none of those are necessary

either; so don't think that there's ever one
path. Don't think that just because you get

resistance on one thing that you'll get resistance
on something else, or don't think that no

means no forever or that there's not another
route. There are a million different ways

to get to sex, and your success is not determined
by... This will come up more in opening, but

success is not determined by whether the girl
takes your hand early in the set. She can

reject your hand early in the set and have
sex with you later. I've had many girls reject

giving me a number early in the set, and then
I stick in with it, and then I stick in with

it. I end up having sex with them. Don't think
that resistance or reaction badly now or not

escalating at a certain point means that it's
not going to go down later. That's simply

not the case as long as, you know, the signals
are there. Also, a lot of girls have blatantly

rejected me, shoved me off, told me to fuck
off, left; and then I've met up with them

later in the night or even stuck in at that
moment and ended up having sex with them;

so don't ever think that rejection is everything;
and don't think that it has to go down some

smooth predetermined path. Every pull that
you have in your entire life will be a little

bit different. Okay? A lot of them are formulaic.
They do follow a set game plan. Even then,

they are very, very different at the same
time.

Todd: So one LMR move is the holding the two
hands. The other one that I really like and

this one is for point of no return is what
I call the preemptive freeze-out. Okay? You

guys may be familiar with the freeze-out from
old-school like, you know, pickup theory.

Freeze-out basically is this idea that if
the girl reacts badly or resists at a certain

point, what you do is you completely withdraw
tension and, you know, go in the next room

or just like roll over and like go to sleep
or pretend to go to sleep, that sort of thing.

You withdraw your attention completely. The
idea of the freeze-out being that the freeze-out

is more awkward for her and it makes her feel
worse than whatever escalation was going on.

That's the general idea of the freeze-out;
and the freeze-out is a very, very powerful

move. However, the freeze-out is also a little
bit reactive. Right? You're supposed to do

the freeze-out ideally in a way that looks
not reactive, looks like you don't care; but

if it's in direct reaction to a rejection,
it obviously is going to come off a little

bit butthurt. Okay? So my favorite move, though,
is the preemptive freeze-out. It's the freeze-out

without cause. Okay? It's the freeze-out when
things are going well instead of when things

are going badly, so say that I have a girl
back at my place, and we're escalating. Things

are starting to go well. We're getting to
that point of like things could be about at

point of no return. It's getting a little
hot and heavy, but I'm looking at it based

on my experience, and I'm not sure it's going
to go down. Okay? Right at that moment, one

of my favorite things to do is break it off,
take a break, go to the next room, go use

the restroom, go grab another drink, something
like that, and then come back; and ideally,

what I would do is I would come back and not
pick up right where we left off. Right? Have

you guys ever had a girl do this? Right? You
have ever had a girl do this where like you're

on the bed; it's going well; and she's like,
"Hang on. Just give me a second. I have to

go to the bathroom." Then she goes to the
bathroom, comes back; and instead of sitting

back next to you on the bed, she goes and
sits like on the chair. I'm like, "What the

fuck? This girl was on the bed with me; and
we're making out; and now, she's like halfway

across the room. What just happened?" Right?
Now, as a guy, that gets to you. Imagine how

much it must get to a girl. Imagine what that
must do to a girl. Okay? So use that to your

advantage. Again, key concept is make it not
her fault, get her chasing, and watch out

for that point of no return. That's the key
concept. The tactic is preemptive freeze-out.

All right? And that's very, very, very effective
in setting things up. Yeah?

Audience: I see what you mean, but ___31:31
if you completely interrupt it. The first

thing, it can also work on our egos, you know,
ultimately; and also, ___31:41 and the fact

that you really want them; and so I ___31:46
something like that because I used to do a

lot of freeze-outs; and I stopped with it
eventually.

Todd: Right.

Audience: ___31:53 on me actually; and they,
well, like seeing themselves... I could actually

see them taking that "Oh, you want to play?"
___32:00

Todd: And then they decided to play games
with you, too.

Audience: Yeah.

Todd: It makes sense. Yeah, two things on
that. One, I would say is if you get the girl

back and she's like, you know, eating your
face already and like totally on, don't be

silly and do a freeze-out when you don't need
to. Like again, this is for when you sense

that you won't get through the point of no
return otherwise 'cause you don't like throw

in a technique just to throw in the technique,
always use it in the appropriate time. The

second thing is you want to use it early enough
that it's not such a break; so if you've already

been fingering her and you were super close,
almost had your penis inside of her like very

close and like it was rubbing there, that's
not the time to do a preemptive freeze-out

'cause then you go to the next room and she
starts to think, "Oh, shit. What happened?

What's going on?" and she'll like come to
her senses. You should actually do it way

before that when you're just making out a
little bit so that it's not such a huge break

and it's not a break in a moment where she
might feel guilty; so yeah, be very judicious

in the use of this. You don't want to just
use it blindly with respect to timing or with

respect to situation, but it can be a useful
tool.

Todd: So I'm going to go then to opening,
hooking, all that kind of stuff; but I want

you to keep in mind as I go through all of
these other stages the things I've told you

in closing because there's a very big difference
between what I call good game and effective

game. Okay? There's a lot of guys that know
how to get a lot of indicators of interest

from a girl, a lot of guys that know how to
like spike buying temperature and get a big

reaction, but don't know how to get laid.
Right? In fact, for years, we would go in

and we'd have all these like pre-canned routines.
We'd be comedically tight. We'd like devalidate

the girl. We'd get her chasing us, touching
us; but as soon as we drop the energy, we'd

lose the set because we had started off with
a bad premise. We started off with a premise

of "She is on a pedestal. We have to be very
entertaining. We have to be very amazing;

and as soon as we're not amazing, we're not
enough." All right? And we weren't going in

with the idea of seduction. We were going
in with the idea of entertainment almost.

Okay? Or we were going in with the idea of
like pushing her buttons; and there's not

necessarily a correlation between the two;
so whenever you're in your game, don't just

be thinking about "How do I get to the next
stage?" Do be thinking about that. Do be thinking

"How do I get from A to B, from B to C, C
to D?" but also be thinking "Is the way that

I'm getting from A to B or B to C actually
going to get me to Z or is that going to interfere

with getting to Z?" Okay? So as I go through
the earlier stages, keep in mind the things

I've said with regard to closing; keep in
mind the idea that you want her to be an active

participant; keep in mind the idea that you
want her chasing, and keep in mind the idea

that from the very first moment, you're actually
working on last minute resistance. Okay? Last

minute resistance is not something you start
addressing in the bedroom. It's something

you start addressing the moment you say hello.
Okay? So keep those in mind as we go through

open, hook, emotional connection, and physical
connection. Also, I'll tell you. Because this

is a technical lecture, I'm going to talk
a lot more about the open and the hook and

not so much about the connection phases because
those are more like sort of artistic, organic

phases; but I will give you some pointers
for those as well. All right. All right. So

let's talk about the open. Everybody always
asks, "What is the best opener?, "What do

you say to the girl?," that sort of thing;
and the thing is it doesn't matter.

Todd: Hello.

Woman #2: Hi.

Todd: May I be mildly presumptuous and forward
for ten seconds or less?

Woman #2: Sure.

Todd: You are far too cute to be talking on
your phone or texting on your phone instead

of talking to cute local boys.

Woman #2: Okay.

Todd: You're welcome. Who are you?

Todd: It absolutely 100% does not matter.
I have opened with the weirdest, worst things

and gotten laid. I have opened with the best
things and gotten nowhere. What does matter

are two things. Your vibe off the open matters
tremendously. I actually will say three things.

Your vibe off the open matters tremendously,
that you're loud enough to get her attention

matters tremendously, and what you say immediately
after the open matters. Those are the three

things that matter. What you actually say
matters almost none. Okay? And so you can

open with pretty much anything. Now, there
are a couple different philosophies on opening.

One is the direct philosophy, and the other
is the indirect philosophy. Okay? Direct philosophy

is to say something like "Hey, you're cute.
I wanted to talk to you. Who are you?" That's

pretty direct. Another more direct is "Hey,
you're fucking hot. I want you." That's extremely

direct; and that can work sometimes, too.
Indirect is "Hey, I need your opinion on something..."

or "Wow, the music here is really good" and
then keep talking, something like that. Okay?

Something that's not directly about you and
her, not directly about sex, would be an indirect

open. Now, which is better, direct or indirect?
Trick question. Neither. Okay? It depends

on the situation. My personal philosophy and
one that I think is extremely effective and

useful for me and even more so for students
'cause the more that you're new in the game

and less calibrated you are, the more you
need guidelines; the more you have experience,

the less you need guidelines... But the guideline
I like to follow and the guideline I teach

students is go as direct as you can get away
with but no more direct. Okay? If you go too

direct, you will turn the girl off. It's too
obvious. You're asking for too much compliance.

You're making the girl feel slutty if she
goes along with you, so you don't want to

be too direct. However, within that scope
of what you can get away with, the more direct

you are, the easier making every step of the
interaction afterwards. Okay? So if you start

out extremely indirect, you start out like
talking about the weather, then you have to

transition from talking about the weather
to talking about something more intimate and

then from talking about something more intimate
to bringing up man to woman conversation and

like looking her in the eye and getting intense.
Right? And then you have to like transition

to getting physical. There are more transitions
in there. There is more time spent whereas

if you were able to get away with "Hey, you're
cute. I want to meet you" and she reacts positively

to that, you've cut out a lot of the bullshit.
You've cut out a lot of the wasted time; and

especially in a high-energy, intense environment,
time is huge. Okay? You open a girl in, say,

a loud night club. You only have a certain
window of time before her friends are going

to like come find her or object or there's
going to be some huge distraction that will

drag her attention away. Okay? So time is
your ally. Also, when you open more directly

or when you do anything more directly, you're
enhancing the intensity of everything that's

going on. Right? A more intense interaction
is harder for the girl to leave. If you're

eyeball to eyeball with a girl and like you're
like giving her like the hot like sexy eyes

and she's giving you the anime eyes and you're
like pulling her hair, that's a pretty intense

interaction for the girl. A little distraction
over to the side, she probably won't even

notice; but if you're talking about the weather
and there's some little distraction, she's

very likely to get distracted and to leave.
Okay? So another reason why you want to be

as direct as possible... One is to save time.
The other is because the more intimate you

are with the girl and the more intense the
interaction, the less she will respond to

distractions; and most of the time as you
get good, you'll notice the girls you lose

aren't because the girl didn't like you but
because of her friends or something going

on in the club or some other stupid distraction.
Okay? So that's the other advantage of going

very direct is the distractions are less meaningful.
Okay? So that's why, in my opinion, you want

to go as direct as you can get away with.
Okay?

Todd: Now, how do you know when you can go
direct and when you can't? So whenever I see

a set, I'm looking for how much compliance
do I think I can get from them. Okay? Compliance

just means them changing what they're doing
to suit your purpose, I suppose. It's a rough

definition of compliance. So let's look at
the extreme cases. Least compliance-necessary

set I can think of would be a girl sitting
by herself at a table with nobody around.

That's a no-compliance situation basically.
Okay? You can walk up and especially like

if she has like a lot of like laptop and papers
and all kinds of stuff scattered. It would

be extremely hard for her to leave that situation.
It would be a huge hassle, so you don't have

to do much. Right? You can go in, and you
can... Even if you're pretty offensive, even

if you're kind of obnoxious, even if she doesn't
like you, the choice of having to move all

that stuff is, you know, ___40:09 or not something
she really wants to do; so she's not going

to do that readily. Right? So you can get
away with a lot in that situation. Does that

make sense? The epitome of the noncompliance
situation would be girl in a chain of people

that involves guys and girls in a loud night
club getting physically dragged through. Right?

And possibly being led by bouncers and/or
hosts. That would be the extreme like noncompliance

situation. Right? If you go super direct in
that situation, probably she's just not going

to hear it. She's like, "No. Fuck off," whatever
and doesn't have time for it and will keep

doing whatever she's doing. Okay? Now, not
to say that like going indirect is super great

in that last situation either. It's just a
tough situation; but the point is it would

be extremely, extremely slutty for her to
drop everything she's doing in that mixed

group situation where there's clear action
going on and go with you. Right? So you're

asking for a lot there. Okay? Generally, things
that lead to a set that has a lot of compliance...

If a girl is committed to a location, more
likely to be compliant. If the girl seems

bored or unoccupied, more likely to be compliant.
If the girl seems happy, more likely to be

compliant. Okay? So like bored, happy, sitting
alone, or like daydreaming is probably the

most compliant situation ever, I guess; but
so those are the things you're looking for,

though. Okay? If the girl is moving, not as
compliant. If the girl is with guys, not as

compliant. If the girl is with a group that
she seems very engaged with, not as compliant.

If the girl is with a medium-sized group,
very uncompliant. Like say like two to three

to four girls, that's not a very compliant
situation 'cause she is with her friends.

They're having kind of a tight conversation.
It's going to be hard to drag her out of that.

If the girl is by herself, very compliant.
Ironically, if a girl is with like 20 people,

she might be very compliant because once you're
with 20 or 10 or so, a lot of times, you can

drag the girl out of the group and she is
not really missed; or a lot of times, the

group is not quite as tight-knit and not quite
as engaged with each other; so you can kind

of treat the big set as though the girl is
by herself; so a lot of times, there, you

can actually go for compliance. Okay? So these
are some criteria for how you would look for

getting compliance on the open. All right?
And depending on the situation, you want to

open in a different way. The one situation
that I'll make kind of special note of is

for like an AMOG situation where the guy and
the girl are together and actually seem to

like each other. A lot of times, direct really
won't work 'cause you'll just get like pushed

away. Indirect might work a little bit, but
the guy probably still kind of knows what

you're doing. So I do a third kind of opener
that I just kind of came up with which is

what I call the distraction opener which is
I will find some sort of disrtracting thing

in the environment and I'll draw attention
to that as though it surprised me and I'll

use that as my reason for bumping into the
set or my reason for having some kind of conversation

and then once I've physically come between
the guy and the girl, then I'll reopen the

girl a second time from that situation; so
I do sort of like a two-tiered opener because

any opener I'm going to do on a guy/girl set
where they already like each other is probably

going to be met with immediate resistance;
so I want to do something like a little psychotic

or a little weird or a little just surprising
to throw off that initial resistance and just

get my foot in the door; so that's the extreme
noncompliance situation which is you have

to do an open that doesn't even look like
an open; but so you're looking for those compliance

indicators; and then depending on them, you
can open in different ways.

Todd: Now, again, you want to be as direct
as possible; so if you can open in a physical

way, that's always better. However, if opening
in a physical way will immediately blow the

set out, that's not good. Again, remember
this sort of arrow diagram I'm going to make.

Right? This is all the girls. These are the
girls that are receptive to a particular move.

Okay? So could you open by walking up and
making out with a girl? Absolutely, yes. I've

done it many times in my life. However, if
your default open was to walk up and try and

make out with every girl, only a very small
percentage of girls are going to go for that

relative to the amount that would go for a
different opener. Okay? So you don't want

to narrow your scope so much that you only
get a few girls coming through sort of the...

you only catch a few girls in the net. Okay?
However, you don't want to be so broad that

you don't eliminate any girls actually. You
don't want to be too perfect; and I'll get

into that in a second; but you also don't
want to be so nonthreatening that you leave

yourself too much work to do after the fact;
and actually, it's better not to open 100%.

Okay? If you open 100%, first of all, that's
like a miracle. Congratulations, you've come

up with some weird social glitch so good for
you but you know what? It's not even going

to improve your game. That's the fucked up
part of it. If you could open 100% of girls,

it really probably wouldn't even improve your
results in game very much because... Say you

go out in the night, and every single girl
opens for you, and it's kind of lukewarm.

It's like "Oh, I'll tolerate this guy; and
then we'll see where it goes from there."

Right? In order to open 100%, that's how you
would have to open. You can't open super direct

and get it to 100%. All right? So you have
to open a little bit weakly, a little bit

indirectly. Now, what you're going to do is
you're going to be spending a lot of your

time with girls that are not that into you.
You'll be spending a lot of time with girls

that either are not down for something that
night, are not receptive, you don't have immediate

chemistry with, that sort of thing. Whereas,
if you got say 70% of the girls to open or

50% of the girls to open and they open much
stronger, you would be immediately screening

out a lot of the girls you don't want to be
talking to anyway; and also, you would be

screening out girls you have good chemistry
with; and you would be closer right off the

open to something happening; so you would
waste less time in the sets you do open. Okay?

So understand that ironically that game that
looks perfect, game that looks high-percentage

in terms of like getting through one stage,
might not be the most high-percentage in terms

of getting you laid. If you want to get laid
on a particular night, the way that you should

do it is you should open very directly, not
so directly you're going to get rejected by

every girl but very directly, probably like
twice as direct as you normally would, whatever

that means as far as the number; but you should
open extremely directly; and say the girl

is either on or off right now. If the girl
is on, stick in and try and make it work.

If the girl is off, find next set. Boom. Open
directly. If it's on, good; if not, next set.

Right? If you want to be efficient, that's
the way to do it. We have a particular student

in immersion who has a style very similar
to that; and he'll do a lot of sets in a night.

He tells me the average is 30 sets a night
which is a lot. I don't know if I quite believe

him on that number, but he also gets laid
more than anyone in immersion. He does very,

very well; and he sleeps with very hot girls
as well. Okay? Why? Because he has a very

good strategy for what he's doing. Right?
Good strategy will oftentimes trump good technique.

Strategy is absolutely paramount. Okay? So
keep that in mind as well, so you want to

do an open that is as direct as you can but
not too direct. That's the summary point;

and you want to get physical, if you can,
off the open because it's going to make so

many other things much, much easier. Okay?
And the more intense the environment, the

more important it is to get physical quickly
and the more you will get away with being

physical off the opener; so if it's a loud
dance club, there's a lot of social acceptance

for being physical so use that to your advantage,
get close early; and also, it's necessary

to get physical because it's very hard to
have a normal conversation from a distance.

It would be hard to make those transitions.
In day game, it's going to be much less acceptable

to open hyperphysical and also much less necessary
because you can have a normal conversation

even from 5 feet or 10 feet away and you can
allow things to build gradually. In fact,

in the daytime, it usually needs to build
a little bit more gradually. All right? The

metaphor for that by the way is... This is
something I got from Julien as well. He says

like... Do you ever play those sort of old-school
video games where you have to like push the

button a lot and get a power level up to a
certain amount before you can do something?

Right? Now, if the power level starts really
high versus really low, the process is still

the same which is just pushing that button
as fast as you can; but it's a lot easier

and there's a lot less time when the like
download bar is kind of already there, when

it's like already very close. Does that make
sense? So in night game, the physical arousal

level is already there; so you can get away
with being much more physical; and you get

a much better immediate return. Whereas, in
day game, it's much lower; so it's less necessary;

and it's just going to take longer. Okay?
But that doesn't mean not to escalate. You're

always escalating in every set. It's just
you're starting in a different place. So day

game, you start a little lower. It's a longer
escalation, in general, not always, in general.

And night game, shorter escalation, starting
higher. Okay?

Todd: Okay. So let's look at a couple specific
openers. I'll do a straight-up like verbal

opener, and then I'll do claw, and then I'll
do hand of God. All right? As sort of like

a no-compliance opener, a heavy compliance
opener, and an in-between opener. Okay? So

just walking up and having normal conversation.
So I'm just going to walk up, "Hey, what's

up? How are you doing?"

Audience: "Not too bad."

Todd: "Not too bad? Cool. Nice smile."

Audience: "Thanks."

Todd: "Oh, my goodness. You're trouble." Okay.
So right here. So what am I doing? I've walked

up. I have decent eye contact, decent vibe.
I actually probably wasn't as loud as I could

have been, but it's a daytime environment,
so I don't need to like make a huge deal out

of it. Right? Quick point on volume by the
way. You want to be, first of all, loud enough

to be heard and loud enough to get their attention
obviously; but you want to be a little louder

than that; and the reason for that is if I'm
quiet and soft and trying not to be heard,

if I'm like that, it seems fucking creepy;
and there's a reason why it seems creepy 'cause

it seems like if I'm talking to him that quietly,
I'm afraid of you guys hearing. If I'm afraid

of you guys hearing, that can sort of subcommunicate
that what I'm doing is creepy or wrong or

illegal in some way. Does that make sense?
'Cause why does it have to be a secret if

it's okay? Right? But on the other hand, like
"Hey, what's up? How are you doing?," loud

enough that you guys could hear, what that's
conveying sort of obliquely is I'm okay with

what I'm doing. I think what I'm doing is
right and good; and so if I think that, she

should, too. Okay? So that'a quick word on
volume. You want to be a little louder than

necessary because it conveys that you think
whatever is going on is normal and cool and

acceptable. All right? So that's important.
Okay. But so I did this open, and it's like

very noncommittal open. I actually showed
some intent right after the open which is

good. Right? I made it about him a little
bit, so that's positive. Right? Got in his/her

head. But this is the set, from what I did,
that would take a lot more work. I just basically

barely got my foot in the door. I got a little
bit of back and forth interaction. I didn't

get a lot going on. On the other hand... Actually,
just stand up for a second. Here's the...

Turn face. We'll blur you. Okay. So the next
one you can do is the claw. This is the extreme

physical compliance move. Okay? So the claw
basically is "Hey, you, fucking cute. Who

are you?" Right? So I physically grab her
and pull her over to me. All right? That's

a lot more compliance. For a girl to say yes
to that, for a girl to accept that, that's

a lot more risky for her. It's a lot more
potentially slutty for her. Okay? So it's

asking a lot of compliance. Now, a couple
things on the claw if you're ... Stand up.

Stand up. Stand up. I'll use you twice more.
On the claw, first way you can mess up the

claw is this. You'll be like, "Hey, hey, hey,
hey. Come here. Please come here." Right?

All right. If you're too soft on the claw,
that's the same as what I just talked about

with being too quiet on the open. It's conveying
that you think you're doing something wrong.

You're so afraid of offending, you're so afraid
of making her uncomfortable, that you're going

to make her extremely uncomfortable. Okay?
Key idea in game, anything you do to try and

not be awkward will, by it's nature, be awkward.
If you're thinking in your head that you don't

want to be awkward, it's going to be fucking
awkward. If you're thinking in your head,

"I'm just doing this 'cause I want to," "I'm
doing this 'cause it's fun," "I'm doing this

'cause I'm the man," then it will not come
off as awkward; so the first way to creepy

claw is to like lightly like... The next way
to creepy claw and this is the opposite is

this. "You, come here." Right? And you're
like leaving like marks on the arm. Okay?

You don't want to do that either. All right?
What you want to do is this combination of

firm but light, firm but soft. Okay? So it's
like this. Firm, "Hey, you, come here" and

then notice my hand. This is very critical.
Right? Look, he could go. Take your hand away.

It's okay. No, you can't go anywhere; but
he feels like he could go. You see that? "Go

away. Go away. No. Hey, hey. No. You're so
cute. Come here." Right? But at the same time,

it's not creepy, jaws of life, grasping. Does
that make sense? It feels comfortable. It

feels safe. It's just as controlled as if
you did that, but it's without feeling bad

and without feeling awkward or creepy. All
right? 'Cause you're not asking for that same

amount of compliance to her like dealing with
like forceful grip on the wrist. Okay? So

those are two ways to do the claw wrong. One
is to not commit. The other is to be so creepy

once you get it. So what you want is that
sort of like assertiveness but also that softness,

and that's a metaphor for all of game. Okay?
In game, you should be leading. You should

be assertive, but you should also be delicate
and soft, and it should feel like they're

not being forced into anything. Even if you're
being massively manipulative, even if you're

like orchestrating events and telling ___53:27
stories, it should feel like it's just happening.

Okay? Okay. Next one and this is the in-between
move is the hand of God. Okay? "You, who are

you?" Okay? Now, why is that different than
the claw? What is the distinction between

the claw and the hand of God?

Audience: ___53:45

Todd: Yeah. It does, and it doesn't. Right?
So one one level, it requires less compliance

'cause it's less forceful and it's less slutty.
On another level, it requires more compliance

'cause you're getting feedback and a positive
from them. Okay? Remember the key premise

of last minute resistance and of closing which
is that you want them to be participating.

You're making that happen already when you
do hand of God. The claw, it's very aggressive;

and a lot of girls will be very turned on
by the fact that you're being aggressive;

but they haven't committed to it. They haven't
made that logical decision; so they don't

have to rationalize or justify to themselves
that, that happened. The other key distinction

between the hand of God and the claw, it has
to do not with the girl but with the social

group, with how it looks to the social group.
Okay? To take the extreme example, imagine

a girl with a bunch of guys. If you go in
and you claw her like this, what are the guys

likely to do? Are the guys likely to like
take kindly to that? Are they likely to be

happy about that? Yeah, not so much. Right?
They're likely to get kind of in your face.

However, if, on the other hand, you do this
one, "Hey, you," they might not like it but

she's participating. Right? So it's much harder
for them to object to you, much harder for

them to have a problem or fight you. You can
sit down now. Thank you. And the same is true

for a set of girls just to a lesser degree.
Right? So the fact that you have a little

bit of like feedback on it, you have her participating,
it makes it better. It makes it easier. So

number one, it's less compliance; but the
compliance you're getting is good compliance.

Right? So there are two kinds of compliance.
There is the compliance of like they just

didn't say no or they just like sort of said
no but went with it anyway, and then there's

the compliance of them actually participating,
and the second compliance is the one you really

want. Don't get me wrong. The first one is
good. The first one is much better than no

compliance, but the second one where they're
participating is what you actually want. Okay?

So that's an example of three different openers,
different levels of compliance. Okay? The

extreme noncompliant opener will be something
along the lines of the opinion opener; so

say that you see a girl walking very fast,
on her phone. You don't think you'll be able

to get any kind of compliance; and if you're
like, "Hey, you're cute," you know she is

going to be... She is probably like a hot
girl that gets hit on a lot, whatever. In

that case, I will concoct something a little
fake in order to open only because I don't

think they'll comply to anything less; so
in that case, I'll be like, "Hey, I need your

opinion on something really fast" or "Hey,
I need you for one second. I have to go."

Right? Or I'll say stuff like... I'll do false
time constraint, "I have to go in a second

but anyway." I'll give all these excuses and
all these reasons why it's not as big of a

deal; but then as soon as they stop and are
focused on me, I'll immediately shift. I'll

be like, "Hey, you know what? Actually, you're
quite cute. Hi, nice to meet you." Again,

going as direct as you can. Right? At the
start, there was no compliance; so you couldn't

go direct. Once there is some compliance,
once you're in a conversation, switch it to

direct, make something happen. Okay? So again,
the concept is go as direct as you can but

not more so. Right?

Todd: Also, if you ever catch yourself in
an interaction that's going nowhere, you catch

yourself in a situation where you're talking
about the weather or she's talking about her

shoe collection or some random bullshit gossip,
understand that you can always open within

a conversation as well as before the conversation.
Like a lot of guys when they learn pickup,

they get comfortable going, "Hey, what's up?
I wanted to talk to you" or "Hey, what's up?

I think you're cute"; but then they get in
the conversation; and all of a sudden, they

feel like they have something to lose. They
feel like because they're in a conversation

that's going relatively well, they're like,
"Oh, I don't want to disturb this. I don't

want to rock the boat. I'll just like cross
my fingers and hope this goes in a good direction."

Right? No. Once you're in a conversation,
you're in an even better place to open and

get direct; so you're in that conversation
that's going nowhere. Okay, whatever. Just

interrupt the girl or interrupt yourself.
You'll be like, "Hey, you know what? You're

actually quite cute" or "Hey, you know what?
I can't decide about you. There's something

like very cute. I kind of want to crush on
you, and there's something just very off-putting.

I don't know. I'm just a little weirded out."
Right? You can jump into that at any moment.

There's no reason not to. Conversation is
not linear. Whenever you have a great conversation

with your friends, this conversation where
you stay up like all night talking and never

getting any sleep, the next day, if someone
said, "What did you talk about?," probably

you couldn't give an exact specific answer
'cause you talked about a lot of different

topics and the conversation wasn't linear.
Okay? Good conversation isn't linear. Good

conversation is not like a how-to manual.
All right? It goes all over the place. Feel

willing to interrupt. Right? Interrupt the
girl. Some guys are even willing to interrupt

the girl, but almost nobody ever interrupts
themselves. Say you're telling a story, and

the girl's attention is starting to drift
in the middle of the story. How often do you

continue the story anyway 'cause you've already
committed? It happens a lot. As soon as you

notice that you don't have the attention,
you're talking, you're talking, "Yeah, so

I grew up in Colorado and... Hey, you know
what? We should go check this out. This is

amazing." Change the topic. "Hey, you know
what? There's something about you that's just

a little off. I think you're very cute but..."
Change the topic. Right? Anything. Make sense?

Interrupt the girl. Interrupt yourself. Don't
tolerate an interaction that isn't going in

the right way. Don't be linear. I'll give
you a few models for how to think about an

interaction. Okay?

Todd: A lot of people ask me like "What are
you thinking during a set?" and "What are

you thinking during an interaction?" Here
are the models I use, and they're not exclusive.

Right? They fit nicely together; and sometimes,
you'll get different indicators on different

models in which case you have to actually
use your intellect, use your judgment, and

do the best you can. Okay? But here are some
models. First model is value versus comfort.

There is this theory that in order to sleep
with a girl, you need value plus comfort.

Make sense? Value means you have good genetics.
You like have enough success that you can

support a child, support a girl, that sort
of thing. Sure, it makes sense. Right? You

have enough like people that respond to you
or react to you in life that you have a good

social network that would make sense in a
tribal sort of area in terms of passing your

genes along, so that's value. Value is you're
a badass. Comfort is she can participate in

your badassness. Right? If you're a total
badass but you have no care for her and you

just like slap her away or just fuck her and
leave, that's also not as useful to her in

a tribal setting. Okay? So it's a combination,
value plus comfort. At any moment in the interaction,

the girl needs either more value or more comfort
from you. Right? If she had the exact perfect

ratio, your penis would be inside of her.
All right? If it's in actually perfect ratio

and amounts. Right? So what you need are both.
In order to sleep with a girl, you need a

certain amount of value, a certain amount
of comfort, and you need a proper ratio. If

you have those three things, you can have
sex with her. If you don't have those three

things, you have some work to do. Right? Interesting
thing is that as long as the ratio is kind

of maintained, she'll allow you time to build
up the levels; but if the ratio gets too out

of whack, the interaction is over. Okay. So
if you're all value and no comfort, she will

not trust you. She'll be very stimulated by
you. She'll be giggling with you, giggling

at everything you say. She might even be making
out with you. She might even be like escalating

on you; and then the next minute, she's like,
"That was fun. Bye." Do you guys ever get

that in a club? Girl makes out with you, seems
totally on; and then the second there's any

remote pause, she is just gone. Why is that?
All value, no comfort. Massively stimulated,

emotions running through her body, but she
doesn't trust you. She also hasn't associated

that stimulus with you. She is just associating
it with fun night. Okay? So that's too much

value and not enough comfort. Too much comfort
and not enough value looks like... You are

talking with a girl for a while. You get to
know all her like deep-seated secrets; and

then you try and make a move; and she's like,
"No, no, no, no, no. I just don't see you

that way. No, no, no. You're like my brother."
Right? That's too much comfort and not enough

value. Okay? Does that make sense? Or too
much comfort and not enough value is where

the girl will continue the interaction with
you; but she will only continue it by asking

you for things over and over and over again;
and as long you start buying her things or

providing for her, then she'll continue the
interaction. That's also too much comfort

and not enought value. I hope I said that
the right way the first time; but yeah, that'd

be too much comfort and not enough value.
Make sense? So you can go wrong with either

ratio. As long as the ratio is roughly correct,
you have time to then build both up. Okay?

So that's value/comfort. That's one model
for how to look at an interaction.

Todd: Next model, social capital. Social capital
basically is the idea that at any given point

in the interaction, there are certain things
you can get away with and certain things you

can't. So say that you've met someone for
five minutes; and in that first five minutes,

they do something that really pisses you off.
That interaction is probably done. However,

say that you've known someone for six months
and been great friends with them for six months;

and they do something that pisses you off.
That's probably just going to be a little

fight. You'll talk it out the next day. You'll
get over it, and you'll move on. Okay? So

the same action, the same situation, is different
with different people because you have different

levels of investment. Okay? Typically, the
more that you know someone, the longer you've

known someone, the more social capital they
have. The more that you have shared experiences,

the more social capital they have; and here's
an interesting one. The more things that you've

complied to with that person, the more social
capital they have. Does that make sense? Okay?

That last one is absolutely huge because it
explains how to use social capital as well

as what it is. Okay. So let's say that you're
talking to a girl, and it's going pretty well,

so you decide to escalate. You decided to
go for a light escalation. You reach out and

try and take her hand, and let's say that
she rejects your advance. Okay. So what's

happened there in terms of social capital?
You basically looked at the situation and

said, "I think I have enough social capital
to try this move. I think there's a decent

chance this will work"; and she said, "No,
no, no, no, no. No, you don't have that much

social capital"; and on top of that, in having
tried to escalate, you tried to spend some

social capital. Right? And when you do that,
you decrease it. Okay? There's like a penalty

for trying. Right? You tried to spend some
social capital. You got rejected. Okay. Now,

your social capital is even lower; so before
you want to try again, you want to take some

time, build some more social capital up before
you would try something like that again. On

the other hand, if you go for that move and
she complies and, you know, she starts holding

hands with you, now she's made a big commitment
to you. Now, your social capital goes way,

way, way up. Okay? So what you want to do
in escalation is you want to be escalating

'cause escalating is about the fastest way
to build social capital if it's received well.

However, it's a good way to destroy social
capital if it's received poorly. So it's absolutely

essential that you escalate. You're not going
to get the set to go well, you're not going

to get the set to move forward, without pushing
and without escalating; but you have to be

smart about it 'cause if you're dumb about
it, you also burn the set to the ground; so

that's the idea with social capital; and that's
the same with physical escalation, verbal

escalation, logistical escalation.

Todd: Actually, this is another topic. Real
fast. I'll throw this out. There are basically

four types of escalation in a set. Okay? Physical
escalation, basically getting more physical

and getting closer to sex. Verbal escalation
which is saying things that are risque or

sexual or that show a lot of intent or show
a lot of man to woman verbally. Right? The

difference between talking about the weather
to talking about how you'd like fuck her behind

a dumpster, that's a verbal escalation. Okay?
Jeff is great with this. He has this whole

stack where he starts with like "You seem
quite fashionable. Are you a fashion person?"

which is almost no intent whatsoever, and
then it ends all the way up to like "I'd like

to finger you with my penis." Right? So he
goes the whole range, and it's a gradual escalation.

Okay. So that's verbal escalation. Next one
is logistical escalation, getting closer to

a place where sex can happen. You start out
say in a club, talking in a crowded area.

Then you take her over to against the bar
where it's less crowded. Then maybe you go

sit down with her where you're more closely
together. Then you take her outside of the

club; and then you take her to a place where
seduction can happen, where, you know, things

could go down between the two of you. All
right? So that's logistical escalation. And

the last one is topical escalation, changing
the conversation topic, not necessarily conveying

direct interest in her but changing the topic
to a more sexual topic and changing the nature

of the conversation from "I and you" to "we"
so instead of there's you and me as separate

entities to this idea of you and me together.
That's topical escalation. Al right? So at

any point in the interaction, you can be escalating
on any of these four levels. All right? And

you don't necessarily need to be escalating
all the time on one of them. It's okay if

the physical escalation stays stagnant for
even a long time as long as you're escalating

on the other levels. It's okay if you're talking
about "I and you" for a long time, but you're

getting very physical. Right? As long as there's
some escalation on one of these topics, you're

probably in pretty good shape. Now, the one
caution is you don't want to escalate one

topic so much more than the others that it
gets weird 'cause that goes back to like the

value/comfort thing. So that's a lot on escalation,
a lot on social capital, and a lot on how

that works; so that's the second model that
I'm considering at any time in the interaction.

And then the last model I consider... And
this isn't really a model, but it's sort of

a check that I do 'cause these are the things
I think about in set. At any time in the set,

I'm thinking like "Does the girl need more
value or more comfort?"; and that's going

to dictate my actions. Second thing I'm thinking
is "Where am I at with social capitalizing?

Do I have a lot of social capital? Should
I be spending it and trying to escalate or

am I in kind of like icy water and I need
to like really like offer some value and not

ask for a lot?" All right? If that's the case,
then I won't spend it. And the last model

I have for myself is "To what extent am I
acting through my own purpose?" Okay? Now,

this one is a little more nebulous; but what
you should ask yourself is "Are you saying

the things you want to say or the things you
think she wants to hear?" 'cause as soon as

you're micromanaging and trying to think ahead
to what she wants to hear, you're not going

to be as charismatic, you're not going to
be as smooth, and a lot of your little physical

mannerisms are going to start to get worse.

Todd: So quick little sort of story. When
we first started teaching pickup, we had this

list. It was something Tyler posted like years
and years ago. It's called the 25 point, the

25 things that he most commonly saw people
do wrong that would blow them out with girls;

and it was things like not taking up any space
when they talk. Right? Seeming nervous or

like talking in a low tone of voice or constantly
like leaning into the girl at everything she

says, things like that. And the interesting
thing was when he'd see guys doing these things,

there was a huge direct correlation to when
they did these things, the girls didn't like

them and they didn't get the girls; so he
made this list, 25 things that you should

not do when talking to girls; and when we
used to teach boot camp, we'd start teaching

that 25 points. We say, "These are the 25
things not to do. Just don't do any of these

things and you're good." The problem was when
you give guys a list of 25 things not to do,

they start thinking about them and micromanaging
them and trying not to do them; and they will

do them, every single one of them, more than
you've ever seen because the core reason why

they were doing the 25 things was because
of insecurity or nervousness. Right? Making

them think about their body language and their
tone of voice and all that kind of stuff,

what did it do? It made them nervous and insecure;
so then we flipped it around; and we said,

"Okay. Forget it. We're not teaching that
anymore"; and instead, we taught "Have the

right attitude. Be the man. Offer value,"
that kind of stuff and come from a non-needy

frame and different ways to do it; and funny
enough, we weren't even thinking about the

25 points anymore; but once people started
doing it, they stop doing all those 25-point

things wrong 'cause they got the right intention.
Right? So acting through your own intention

is equivalent to getting the attitude right
to avoid the 25 points. Okay? So whenever

I notice myself trying to think "What does
she want to hear?," I will cut it off and

I will change the topic to something else
that's irrelevant to that or even that's the

opposite of that. Okay? Or as soon as I find
myself... This happens a lot for me 'cause

I've been in pickup for 14 years. As soon
as I find myself saying some pickup line or

routine that I've said a million times before
and halfway through it I'm getting bored,

as soon as I'm getting bored, even if technically
I should finish the routine, the right thing

for me to do is to cut it off and say something
I'm engaged in at that moment because even

though the technical game is less good that
way, I will be coming through in a more congruent

way. I'll be coming through in a more confident
way and a way that's in alignment with Alex's

idea of "You are enough"; and that's more
important than whatever you're saying. Right?

Where it's coming from is always the more
important thing. Okay? So those are some of

the models that I always look at when I'm
in game; and basically, anytime I lose a set...

I mean there are the extreme sets. There is
the like her boyfriend comes out of nowhere

and you had no idea kind of sets; but anytime
you lose a set due to the girl's emotions

dwindling or that sort of thing, basically,
you can probably chalk it up to one of those

three. You either messed up on value/comfort,
messed up on social capital, or you're not

expressing through your own intention. Right?
And part of expressing through your own intention,

you can add a fourth model if you're fairly
newbie which is "Are you being man to woman?

Are you escalating?" Right? For me, I don't
think about that 'cause escalation is a very

foregone conclusion; and for me, if I'm acting
through my own intention, I'm going to escalate

naturally; but if you need a fourth model,
if you're fairly new and you have escalation

issues, add that one, too, which is "Am I
escalating? Am I being man to woman? Am I

escalating?" Right? If you do those four things
properly, it's pretty hard to fuck up a set.

That said, it's not easy to do all four of
those things properly which is why we're all

here. Right? But those are good models; and
by having those models, when you have good

sets, now you can look at them and know what
went well and how to repeat it; and when you

have bad sets, you can look at it and know
what to correct. Okay? So those are the four

models you can look at. Okay. Any quick questions
on the opening phase? Yeah?

Audience: Do you ever actually ___1:12:04
the numbers?

Todd: Yes, kind of. I don't use full opinion
openers anymore, but I will use "Hey, I need

your opinion on something" to get the girl
to stop, and then I'll transition into what

I actually want to say.

Audience: Okay.

Todd: I did use opinion openers for years;
and I still remember some; but if I wanted

to use one, it would come off so clunky right
now 'cause it's been long that I probably

wouldn't do it; but I do use the phrase "Hey,
I need your opinion on something" or "Hey,

I need you for a second" as just a reason
to give them an excuse to stop and a premise

for the conversation.

Audience: Right.

Todd: So I'll use that extent of it, but I
don't use the full opener anymore. Yeah?

Audience: So when you're in really loud clubs
like Hakkasan or, you know, Light, how does

your opening ___1:12:42 in the club?

Todd: So a few things will happen. The urgency
will increase, and the volume will increase.

Like I'll talk louder, and I'll be more urgent
in what I'm doing. I will have the idea in

my head of going extremely direct, if possible.
Because your opening percentage is going to

be lower there in general because of the environment,
your opening percentage is going to be less

dictated by what you're bringing to it and
more dictated by the environment; so if you

look at again this big like... This is all
the girls, and these are the girls you're

going to open. The amount you're going to
open is already very small; so if you choose

an opener that's encompassing all of this,
you're still not getting all of this. You're

still just getting that one limited amount.
Does that make sense? So you want to calibrate

your opener so that your opener is also targeted
to that same limited amount that the environment

is giving you. Does that make sense?

Audience: Do you go more physical?

Todd: I would go more physical and more direct,
and I would also be very persistent.

Audience: Yeah.

Todd: Here's a very key thing on the opener.
I'm glad you brought that up. It's unrelated,

kind of; but it's very important. Persistence
on the opener is absolutely huge especially

with the hottest girls and the toughest environments.

Todd: Hey.

Women #3: Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Todd: Woah, woah, woah, woah. Okay. That was
a little... Hey, hold up, hold up, hold up,

hold up, hold up, hold up, hold up, hold up.
That was a little extreme. Hi. Hi there. Hi.

I'm sorry. I'm Todd. Nice to meet you.

Women #3: Oh, my God.

Todd: And you are?

Women #3: Okay. We'll give you our number.

Todd: Okay. Well, what's your... We'll do
that.

Women #3: What's your name?

Todd: Todd.

Women #3. Nice to meet you, Todd. 8-6-0...

Todd: Okay? Most of the time with the hottest
girls when I open them, I probably don't get

a great open off the first word I say; but
on being persistent and doing a secondary

opener, I will get a good reaction. In fact,
a lot of hot girls that I end up like sleeping

with blow me off initially on the open. One
of the hottest girls I've ever slept with,

one from the story of the girls that I slept
with without kissing them, she was like 5'11

in flats; and I'm like 5'7-ish; so I walked
up; and literally, the first words out of

her mouth to me is "You're too short. That's
a deal-breaker for me. Sorry." Like literally,

that's the first words out of her mouth. Right?
And I still ended up sleeping with her, but

why is that? It's because on that first little
bit, I didn't just take it and go, "Okay,

sorry," tail between my legs, "Goodbye." I
pushed through, and I knew that it was bullshit.

I know that, that's some bullshit societal
construct; and I just pushed through it. Right?

And I did a misinterpretation. I basically
said like, "Oh, I'm too short for what? That's

so sweet, but I just wanted to talk. I don't
want to get physical with you like get sexual

yet. You're so silly..." and just kept talking.
Right? Something along those lines. And I

just kept going. But here's the metaphor for
that, that I really like. Have any of you

guys... If you guys are ever in like New York
or L.A., this will happen a bit, sometimes

Miami. There are sort of different tiers of
clubs, different levels of clubs. There's

the club that like everybody can get into.
There's the club that like is super retardedly

exclusive and you need to be on list even
if you're somebody. Like they'll turn away

celebrity sometimes even if you're not on
the list. There's that level of club; and

then there's like that in the middle club
where they're trying to be exclusive but not

really that exclusive. Now, what I'm going
to talk to you about is that second, that

last type of club, the like exclusive-ish
but not totally exclusive club. So they do

this a lot in like New York or L.A. They'll
have a club. They'll have like little velvet

rope; and they'll have a bouncer outside;
and if you're a group of guys and you walk

up, they'll be like, "Are you on the guest
list?"; and most guys, they go, "Oh, no";

and they walk away; and they just turn and
like saunter off into the night feeling they're

unworthy of the club. All right? When I go
up to that club, I walk up; and they go, "Are

you on the guest list?" I go, "Nope. Just
me." I just look them in the eye like I deserve

to be there; and most of the time... I mean
if it's not the like super high-end club that

celebrities don't get into or you have to
be on the guest list. Those, I get turned

away, too; but if it's the like intermediate
clubs, most of the time, they actually just

let me straight in. Why? It's because I seem
like I deserve to be there. I have a theory

that like the whole guest list thing either
doesn't exist or like barely exists, exists

for like some special like you can sit at
this place or whatever; but like it really

doesn't even exist; but the club owner is
just smart; and he realizes the best way to

keep the wrong kind of guys out of a club,
that you don't want in a club, is to do exactly

that and just put up one little tiny barrier
of resistance; and anybody who doesn't feel

worthy to step through that one barrier, they
don't deserve to be in that club. Fuck them.

They're not the people you want. Same thing
with a girl. If you go say hi to a girl and

she was "Eh" and you're like, "Oh, I'm sorry.
I'm unworthy. I tried..." Right? Good. She

just screened you. That's the most efficient
screen a girl could possibly have; but the

guy who like believes in himself, me... Right?
I tap them. They turn away. I'm like, "No,

no, no. Hey, hey, hey. Yeah, I know. I know
I seem unattainable, but I'm actually just

being sweet. Hi. Nice to meet you. I'm Todd.
Hi." Right? A lot of times, they're like,

"Oh, hi. So sorry. Yeah. Hi. Nice to meet
you. You're very cute." Right? And it immediately

turns around. Why? Because I showed an honest
signal that I'm entitled. Right? Honest signal

is I push through resistance and went anyway.
Now, if you do this like six times, "I'll

fuck you. I'm going to get the bouncer. I'm
going to kill you," then that's a little bit

much. Then that's a little socio, but like
to go like that second time is very important.

Okay? It's very important to show enough entitlement
and say, "No, no, no. Hey, I know what you're

doing. I understand; but no, I'm me, Todd.
Nice to meet you." Right? That's very critical.

Okay? To have that persistence. That's another
point on the open.

Todd: One of the first resources I've ever
found on game was a book on conversation.

It was called Making People Talk by Barry
Farber. It's actually a really good book.

It's out of print, I believe; but it's a very
good book; and basically, the premise of that

book was he's like a radio host or radio interviewer
back in the day when radio was the big medium;

and he'd get people on his show; and he has
to make them talk. He has to not only like...

People, you know, they seem very articulate.
They seem like they have a lot to say. They

get on the show, and they get nervous. They
clam up. They don't want to talk. They don't

know what to say; and he's stuck on the air
with them for half an hour; and he'd better

make them talk; and he'd better make it interesting
'cause otherwise, he is out of a job. Right?

So he talked aobut the techniques he learned
in doing that over the course of many, many

years; and one of the big things he said for
starting a conversation is... One of his rules

was assume the burden of the conversation.
Right? Assume that, at least at the start,

it's on your shoulders to make something happen.
It's on your shoulders to put something out

there 'cause they probably won't; and even
if they're capable of it, you can't trust

that they're capable of it; so you have to
like... For the first little bit, you have

to kind of start the engine. Once the engine
is going, you can, you know, let it run; but

you have to start the engine. The metaphor
for that is if any of you guys ever had like

those old lawn mowers, actually probably not
that old, where they have like the choke and

like you pull the choke and it kind of like
"bu bu bu bu bu" and then dies and then you

pull the choke again "bu bu bu bu bu" and
it dies and then eventually on like the third

one or the fourth one for no apparent reason
like it's warm enough now or something and

it works. Right? It can be like that a lot
of times with a conversation, and it's not

like you should take it personally. Like if
you pull a lawn mover and it doesn't work,

you're like, "You fucking lawn mower. Why
do you hate me? What is this? Fucking, you

cunt." Right? It's not like that. It's just
the lawn mower is being a lawn mower. Right?

And sometimes, you got to pull it a couple
times so same thing with a girl. Right? Sometimes,

you got to start the conversation a couple
times before it really kicks in. Right? So

you keep throwing different stuff against
the wall and trying to see what works. When

you are persistent, this is another point,
you want to try and be persistent in different

ways. Don't try the same approach over and
over and over again when you get a rejection

on it. So you're like, "Hey, I think you're
cute." Okay. She doesn't respond well to that.

Okay. "Hey, you know what's funny? I have
to go in a second, but I need your opinion

on something." Okay. Maybe she'll respond
to that. "But you know what? The funniest

thing happened to me the other day." "I fucking
hate you." "Oh, my God. That's the cutest

look I've ever seen. Do you know what's interesting
about you?" Right? All these different things,

all these different types of opens that you
can cycle through, if you're getting a rejection

on one, you don't keep hitting up the same
one. You don't go, "You're cute. No, no, no.

But you're adorable. But I love you." Right?
If that structure is not working, drop the

structure and try a different one. You'll
be like, "Hey, I need your opinion. No, no,

no. I need to ask you something. No, no, no.
My friends and I, we wanted... No. Don't do

that." You just keep cycling through, and
you try and find the particular blueprint

for the particular girl you're going after.
Right? And the great thing is once you figure

out that blueprint, then you can keep using
it over and over and over again; and you kind

of like are inside her head. All right? So
that's what we're going to find. You want

to find the system or the blueprint of things
that work on that particular girl. Yeah?

Audience: Okay. So say you open with "You're
cute" and you get ___1:21:29 "I hate you"

___1:21:31 like how would you go from there?
Would you like go down that line or just like

start asking questions at her?

Todd: Okay. So if I got that, if I got the
"I hate you" and it works, I wouldn't like

keep hammering on that button so much. You
could maybe hit it one more time if you think

it would like spike it up one more time, and
then I would go into a more normal conversation.

I'd be like, "Yeah. See? I know you. I understand
you're that type of girl." Right? Which isn't

quite "I hate you." It's a different little
vibe off of it, but it's using the "I hate

you," and then I would catalog in the back
of my head. I'd call her like a polar responder.

Right? She responds to a negative pull; so
if you ever lose her attention, negative pull

could work. You don't want to overuse it though.
You don't want to become so obvious that you're

just obviously pushing that button. You don't
want to make a whole interaction out of insulting

her. You just want to spice it in at times
throughout the interaction; and ideally, the

real like holy grail is like if you can get
two or three of them. If you have two or three

different things, then you can do them; and
you can do them a lot. You can keep hitting

the button; and it's not predictable because
you have a few different buttons; so that's

like the ideal one; but yeah, so I would keep
that. I would use it, try and hit hard off

of it, and use the sort of foot in the door
that you got to leverage into a normal conversation;

but then I'd catalog in the back of my head
that girl responds to that; so if I ever need

it, that's how you would act. That's how you
would deal with that girl. I had one girl

in particular. Basically, this girl said one
sentence; and from that one sentence, I was

able to pretty much like dissect her life
and know exactly how to game her; and that

sentence was a very innocuous sentence; but
she said, "No, I'm actually average height

for an American woman." Right? And you wouldn't
think that, that's like a sentence that tells

you so much about like a girl; but like to
me, because I've like dealt with so many girls,

I looked at that sentence and I completely
understood this girl from that sentence; and

from there, everything I did, I could base
on that like know exactly how to game her.

Right? So what does that sentence say? To
dissect it. Right? Average height for an American

woman. "Oh, no, actually, I'm average height
for an American woman." Okay. So she is somewhat

educated 'cause she didn't say "No, I'm average"
or "No, I'm normal height," something like

that. She is from an educated background.
She probably studied some level of math and

statistics in her life, we would guess. She
is deriving value from fitting in and value

from other people's perception of her. Okay?
Does that make sense? To say "No, I'm average

height" as a qualifier of herself. Right?
So it means that she derives value from being

part of a group; and by obliquely saying that,
she's saying when I have been part of a group,

I have been in a good situation. I have been
someone high-value within the group 'cause

that's why I identify with the group. Make
sense? So now, we're looking at someone who

likes to fit in, is pretty educated, probably
did well in school, probably is relatively

smart, probably went to good schools, but
probably is not like actually like genius

level, but works very hard. That's my like
assessment on all of that. Right? And also

derives a lot of her validation from being
perceived of as smart. Right? Now that you

know all this, you have a lot to work with;
and so by having all that information, I was

able to basically sort of like subtly help
and undermine at the same time and have a

great interaction with her where it was very
emotionally relevant; and actually, my first

response to that was to completely flip it
on its head. I said, "Actually, no, if you're

average in any way, we're not going to get
along. I only deal with exceptional people."

Right? I just completely like ruined her world
view. She's like, "What the fuck?" Right?

So I basically like undid her world view in
one sentence and like put her on her heels,

and then I was able to control the interaction
from there. Does that make sense? So that's

one example. It's sort of an esoteric example
of taking one sentence and understanding a

girl very completely from it, but it's a lot
easier to take something like how she responds

to "I love you" or "I hate you" or how she
responds to physical touch and understand

that. Another one, I had an 11-minute pull
to one of the cabanas here in Surrender and

how I knew I could do that one so fast was
because of the way she responded to physicality.

Right? She responded to physicality in a certain
way; and so once I saw that response, I didn't

have to talk to her very much. I had almost
the entire conversation, the entire interaction,

on an extremely physical level from her and
just took the communication there; and because

it was that kind of interaction, it was able
to escalate very quickly; and I ended up having

sex with her in 11 minutes in the club. Right?
So again, you find the blueprint; and you

act on that blueprint. It would be silly once
you find the girl is very responsive to that

physical touch to start trying to discuss
like philosophy with her. It's just silly.

You can do that after sex if you want to,
but play to what you're given. Okay? So that's

a little bit on blueprint as well. All right.
Yeah? One more question.

Audience: When you actually open the group
___1:26:14

Todd: I heard opening the group and opening,
you know; but how did that question start?

Audience: I'm just curious. When you see a
bunch of girls, does it make sense to open

all of them at once or...?

Todd: That's a good question. Actually, it's
something I should have addressed. It depends.

It completely depends. A big part of that
is the size of the group, and a big part of

that is how engaged the group is with each
other. Okay? So if it's a group of like two,

three, or four and they seem pretty engaged,
you probably need to open the whole group.

Does that make sense? Because that's again...
You can take the metaphor. That's a low-compliance

situation. Right? They're not likely to give
you a lot of compliance. Okay? So if you go

in and just open the one and try and pull
her out, the girls will be like, "What the

fuck? We're talking to her"; and they're going
to be resistant; so you avoid that resistance

by talking to the whole group. If it's a bigger
group like a group of 10 and she seems kind

of like sort of off to the side, her body
language isn't turned towards the group, that

sort of thing, in that case, then it's much
more likely you can get compliance by going

directly on her; and you should go directly
on her because by doing that, you can go more

direct; so that's the principle of go as direct
as you can. Okay? However, if you do go direct

on the girl, you should be very aware of what
is going on around you; so if you grab the

one girl, then you want to be aware of where
the group is so that as soon as there is any

kind of resistance, before they come to you
and resist you, you're going to them; but

as soon as you get the vibe that she likes
you, then there are two priorities. Right?

The girl is the group, and the group is the
girl. Okay. On one level, you need the girl

to be into you to go somewhere with you. On
the other level, you need the group to permit

it. Even if the girl really likes you and
actually even especially if the girl really

likes you, the group might get resistant.
As soon as you know she's really on, the next

thing you should be thinking isn't "How do
I make her more on?" 'cause she's on enough.

You should be thinking "How do I make sure
that I don't get in trouble for what I'm about

to do?" The other one is if they give you
some sort of indicator before you open. Right?

If they look at you in a particular way or
like engage with you from a distance before

you open, that's a good indicator that there's
going to be more compliance there; so then

you can open directly; but then you'd want
to, again, engage the group quickly to disarm

whatever might happen. Right? The other thing
that you should consider, too, is you don't

have to like... This is interesting logistically.
You don't have to turn yourself into the group

so that your back is to the group and she
is outside the group. You can get isolation

just as easily by turning her and being outside
the group as well.

Audience: ___1:28:32

Todd: I wouldn't grab or pull. I would sort
of subtly nudge and let my body language dictate;

so instead of...___1:28:43 you want to stand
up one more time? Okay. So say that we're

like this. Okay? Biggest girl ever. Okay.
So say that we're like this, and I'd like

him to turn. Right? Now, I could try and be
like this; but that's a little overt; and

it's a little try-hard. It's sort of like
clunky. Right? You could do it; and he actually

turned very nicely and easily, thankfully;
but...

Audience: Grabbing them by the shoulders.

Todd: Right. And that's also.. Still, it's
very like overt. Right? Instead, what I would

probably do is... So I'm here. I would just
be like, "Hey." Right?

Audience: Oh, yeah.

Todd: How much easier is that? Just a little
tap and a nudge and just indicate with your

body what you're saying. Right? Much more
subtle and much less invasive. Right? And

then if she doesn't do that, if she doesn't
comply... Right? If you do this and she doesn't

comply, it's fucking awkward. Right? But if
you go like this and she doesn't comply, you're

just talking. It's no big deal. Right? So
that's another key component with physicality.

I actually will make that my next topic. Another
key component with physicality, you want to

escalate in such a way that you have free
rein to escalate but not in such a way that

the no sucks. Right? Again, key component
to all of this, we're trying to avoid as many

hard nos as possible. Okay? So you have to
escalate. You must escalate. Any of you who

are not escalating enough, fucking start escalating;
but you want to escalate in such a way that

you don't get a lot of nos. Okay? So again,
hand of God versus claw. The other one that

I'll do is, for example, I'll walk up to a
girl; and say that like I'm saying hi to her;

and I could shake her hand; or I could just
talk; or I could try and hug her. Right? A

lot of guys will either just stay and talk
'cause it's like safer, or they'll just shake

the hand 'cause it's safe, or what they'll
do is they'll go for the hug very overtly,

and that's like the opposite spectrum. What
I do is I'm talking to them like "Hey, what's

up?"; and I'll put my hand out like this just
as a gesture; but it's sort of like inviting

her in; and I'll kind of turn my body as though
to hug her; and then if she comes into the

hug, I hug her. If she doesn't come into the
hug, I just drop it and go to talking. Does

that make sense? So I essentially made the
same effort to hug her as the guy who like

gropes her; and I gave myself the same chances
of the hug working; but when it doesn't work,

she doesn't know it didn't work. She is not
aware that I made an attempt, and there was

no hard no, so it's a no-risk plan.

Todd: Hi. Hi, red hair. Who are you?

Woman #4: Hi.

Todd: My name is Todd. You're adorable.

Todd: Make sense? So I'm doing all these no-risk
escalations. Another one is if I want to hold

her hands or whatever. I'll just sort of like
tap the bottom of her hands real lightly as

I'm talking, just tap, tap. It's like she
almost doesn't even know what happened; but

she knows subsconsciously; and most of the
time, she'll just take my hands; and now,

we're holding hands. I can do like handclasp,
different things like that; but if she doesn't,

we're still talking. There are still other
things going on. I just understand that, that

was a no for now; but it wasn't a big deal
made out of it. Okay? So that's what I'm constantly

doing is I'm constantly escalating. Constantly.
If you guys ever see me in... Well, you're

going to see me in set; but when you see me
in set, I'm escalating much of the time; but

I'm escalating in such ways that if it's rejected,
it's not a big deal.

Todd: All right. So let's talk about the hook.
Basically, the hook has always been kind of

an interesting phase in game. A lot of guys
are like, you know, "I can't get the set to

hook" or "Sometimes, it hooks; sometimes,
it doesn't." It's always like very nebulous.

It's like, you know, "Sometimes, it's on;
sometimes, it's not. I can't really figure

it out. I know that when I'm more self-amusing,
it hooks. The more I'm having fun and not

asking for something from her, that helps
it hook" - that tends to be a correlation

a lot of people have - or "I know when I"m
in state, it hooks more." Okay. Fair enough.

But those aren't really things that are that
easily controlled. Right? It's hard to control

like "Okay. I need to hook the set, so I better
get into state right now. Let me get into

state right now." It doesn't work like that.
You can't control that. You can't overtly

do something about that, or you can't control
like... If the initial reaction's good, you

hook; and if the initial reaction's bad, you
don't hook. Well, that initial reaction, there

is only so much you can do about it. Right?
So ideally, sets will hook without you having

to think about them. That's perfect. Perfect
is when you open and they just like instantly

hook for you or you just start self-amusing
and the girl starts committing and starts

chasing you. That's great when it happens.
However, most of the time, especially with

hot girls, especially with difficult sets,
that's not going to happen; and so with that

said, I've been thinking about it for a really
long time; and I finally have come up with

a structure for exactly how the hook occurs;
and the way this happened was I had a student

who... He was one of the students at immersion,
and he brought some different video to me.

Like we'd film them; and he brought these
like different situations where he's trying

to open a girl; and he wasn't getting the
hook in any of the situations; and he was

like, "I can't get the hook. Can you explain
to me why?"; and so the first situation, I

was like, "Okay. So here, you're trying for
too much compilance; and that's why you didn't

get it. Okay. Then maybe that's your problem."
Then the next time, I'm like, "Well, okay.

So here, you're actually not escalating at
all. You're not asking for any compliance,

so that's a complete contradiction to what
I just taught you, but I'm seeing it, and

I know the reason why you didn't get the hook
here is because you're not trying for compliance

here." Right? And then the next one, he's
watching; and I'm like, "Yeah. So here, you're

just talking about... I mean you're trying
to escalate and everything like sort of physically

and whatnot, but you're just talking about
like random topics. It's not about you and

her on any level. It's just this like nebulous
conversation." Right? And so we have three

different sets that didn't hook; and they're
for three completely different reasons that

totally contradict each other; and so I'm
sitting here trying to explain to him like,

"Well, see, in this one, you did this. In
this one, you did... And so the principle

is... Fuck." Right? And so I really sat there
for a minute and tried to like break it down.

I was like, "Well, okay. What's really happening
here is that in this one, you got to a certain

place in the hook and then it failed. In this
one, you got to a certain place in the hook

and then it failed, In this one, you got to
a different place and then it failed"; and

so what I realized is the hook isn't like
a distinct one thing that happens. There are

sort of phases to the hook; and when you understand
that, you can understand how all these different

sorts of failures are all failure to hook
at the same time and how they all contribute.

Okay? And so we're going to break that down
for you.

Todd: I came up with a model for hooking,
the F.R.E.D. model for hooking. Basically,

here's how it works. First step, focus. You
must have her focus in order to hook. If you

don't have her attention, you will not get
her hooked. Okay? Focus. Next one, relevance.

Okay? You must make it relevant to her. If
you're talking about nebulous topics, you

are not going to hook her into that idea.
You're not going to hook her into a conversation

that means nothing to her. You must make it
meaningful to her. Okay? Next, emotion. It

must not just be theoretically meaningful
to her. There must be some emotional involvement

or emotional impact. She has to have commitment.
She has to have some chemicals running through

her body. Okay? Then lastly is decision. Focus,
relevance, emotion, decision. F.R.E.D. Okay?

We think about putting like during hot seat
someone like old fat guy on stage and being

like "This is Fred. This works even for him";
but anyway, so that's the F.R.E.D. method.

Okay? Focus, relevance, emotion, decision.
Focus basically means when you open, you need

to get her attention. You need her attention
on you; and if you have lost her attention,

rather than trying other things to get the
hook, the first thing to do is get her attention

back. Fundamental to everything you do in
game, you must have her attention. If you

don't have her attention, you are not gaming
her. You are not doing well; and I'm going

to show you guys an AMOG set later on where
you'll see this extraordinarily clearly where

the girl likes another guy way more than she
likes me; but I take her attention; and I

put him in a situation where he has to do
something awkward if he's going to get it

back; and just by having attention, even though
she doesn't like me yet, she likes him, I

have the upper hand all of a sudden because
of that simple thing of attention. All right?

Attention is paramount. Open strong. Open
hard. Make sure you have the attention. Secondly,

if you lose the attention, don't tolerate
being in a conversation where she's all over

the place, not paying attention to you. Okay?
Now, this doesn't mean be completely anal-retentive

about it either. Okay. If you're talking with
a girl for a long time, she likes you; and

then she's over at the bar; and she wants
to go grab a quick drink with her friend.

Like you're sitting by the bar. She wants
to turn and order a drink, and she's talking

to her friend. You can let her talk to the
friend while ordering the drink and trust

that she'll come back to you in a minute.
Right? 'Cause there's a specific process.

There's a start and an end to that task; and
when the task is over, then at that point,

you can be like, "Hey" and grab her attention
back, grab her focus back. Does that make

sense? You don't have to have her focus every
single moment, but what you do have to do

is you have to have an idea of where her focus
is at and how you're going to get it back

and when you're going to get it back. Does
that make sense? If you don't have her focus,

you're not gaming at that moment. Focus is
paramount. Okay. Next, relevance. What is

relevant? What is relevant to someone? Anything?
What things are relevant? What things do you

care about in your life?

Audience: Yourself?

Todd: Yourself, yes. That's a very good example.
Here's what you care about. Here's what gets

a reaction from you, and here's what you focus
on actually, but here's what gets a reaction

from you. You get a reaction or you give a
reaction to things that you perceive of as

value or threat. If you perceive something
as having value, you will pay attention to

it. It's relevant to you. If you perceive
it as a threat, it's relevant to you. This

goes back to the jungles. Right? If we see
food, that's value. That's what makes us survive.

If we see a resource that we can turn into
tools, that's value. It's relevant to us.

It has meaning to us. All right? If we see
a predator, that's a threat. That has meaning

to us; or if we see some guy is like getting
angry, is probably going to fight us, that's

a threat. That's relevant to us. Okay? Those
are relevant. Things that are of value or

a threat are relevant; and so why are ourselves
relevant, information about ourselves? Because

information about ourselves is, by its nature,
usually either of value or a threat. If we're

going to understand how the world perceives
us, we can utilize that information to either

have more success or to avoid failure. Right?
So that's what we're looking for. You want

to become value or threat, so how can you
do this? Well, a couple different ways. You

can become valuable to someone by having some
sort of insight about them. That's one very

good shortcut. Right? "You know what I noticed
about you that's so interesting?" Boom. All

of a sudden, you have value. Right? 'Cause
they want to know. Even if they don't like

you, even if they don't know you yet, the
fact that you are making it about them, there's

some value there. Okay? You want an example
of threat? "Dog. Slut." That's a threat. "I

hate you." That's a threat. Make sense? That's
a threat to their ego. That's a threat to

their self-esteem. That's a threat to their
social perception. Right? That's another way

to get their attention. That's another way
to get them more invested in the interaction

is by making a threat, so what you want to
do once you have their attention is very early

on do something that's either of value or
threat. Okay? Value doesn't necessarily always

have to be about them. If you have something
interesting to teach them in general, for

example if you were an expert on a particular
subject and they had some interest in that

subject, that can be interesting, too. A lot
of guys do very well by becoming the teacher

role. Right? Becoming the teacher role of
"I can teach you something about humanity.

I can teach you something about business.
I can teach you something about making money.

I can teach you something about whatever.
I can teach you how to play the guitar or

whatever." If you have some other form of
value, that's fine, too. It doesn't necessarily

have to be about them; but because you don't
know the person you're dealing with well on

a cold approach, usually, a good shortcut
is to think that about them is a likely scenario.

Okay? So you want to do that. Make it what
we call ad hominem. Make it about them, whether

of threat or of value. Make sense? So that's
the next stage, and that's where you get into

things like... A lot of my interactions will
be either like an immediate push/pull statement

like "I like you, but I hate you" or "There
is something about you I like. There is something

about you I'm not sure" or "Your vibe is very
interesting," something like that. It's something

that's a little bit of a cold read, something
that's about them, something that makes it

relevant to them. Right? It also gives context
and reason for the interaction, so it's not

this nebulous interaction. They have some
idea of the premise for it, and premise will

keep you ___1:41:05 as well. Yeah?

Audience: I've been using that a lot ___1:41:08.
It works well, but I get stuck sometimes.

I'm always like, "You know, there's something
really awesome about you," "You're cute,"

or whatever; and like when I do the flip,
I just can't find a negative thing ___1:41:17.

It just comes out very congruent like ___1:41:24.
Do you always like just pick up the perfect

Todd: "You know what? You're so cute, and
I hate that I feel that way about you."

Audience: Okay. So it just doesn't ___1:41:33

Todd: Yeah.

Audience: "I love but I hate you."

Todd: "You're so cute, and I want to have
a crush on you. I want to trust you; and because

I feel so good with you, that makes me nervous."
That's a negative. Right? Any of that. Just

go with any of that.

Audience: As long as ___1:41:47

Todd: Or you can be like, "You know what?
You're so amazing. You're so cute that like

I literally know that at some point, I'm just
going to not even know what to say to you;

and I would be at a loss for words; and that
is just going to be fucking awkward; so let's

just end it now."

Audience: Okay.

Todd: Right? Yeah, why not? You can come up
with anything. The actual like literal meaning...

Even though that's actually like saying you're
so amazing and you're even more amazing is

the literal meaning, it's still in the format
of a push/pull; so we'll still have the same

emotional reaction or same emotional effectiveness
of a push/pull. Does that make sense? So you

can do that. Just like literally say whatever
is in your head. Just couch it in that way.

All right? And you can say almost anything
in a way that's extremely negative, extremely

positive, or anywhere in-between. Like for
example, you can say, "You're fucking hot."

You can say, "Oh, you're actually relatively
cute." You can say like, "Hm, you're kind

of cute-ish." Right? You can take the same
thing, and you can say it so many different

ways. Right? You'll be like, "Wow, you're
actually kind of cute." Right? And they're

like, "Actually? What do you mean? You didn't
think I'd be cute?" Right? You can say it

by just couching it or just like using a little
softener word here or there. You can completely

change the meaning, and you can turn a statement
that's all positive into a one-statement push/pull.

Right? Or you can take something very negative
and you can do it that way, too, like "Wow,

you are like phenomenally evil." Right? With
a smile on your face. Right? I'll say that

as like "You are so much trouble." Right?
Which is like a negative but I'm saying it

with a smile on my face and with arousal and
so it's like a push/pull in that one statement.

Does that make sense?

Audience: Yeah, it's definitely ___1:43:25

Todd: Hooking, to a certain extent, is an
art. Like I'm not going to say that like once

I've taught you like the technical steps to
hooking, you're going to hook every set; but

what you will be able to do is when your sets
hook, you'll understand why and when your

sets don't hook, you'll understand why so
that you'll be able to... Like your brain

will interpret it better, and you'll become
more consistent through the feedback. Right?

I'm not going to say that after hearing this,
all of a sudden, you're going to go out and

never have a set not hooked. That's a lie;
but at least, I'll give you a context; so

you can learn it better. Okay. So that's focus,
relevance. Next one is emotion. Emotion. Super,

super critical. Okay? So say that the relevance
is "I can teach you some interesting fact

about life." That's fine. You can even use
that. In fact, a lot of our like sort of prescripted

routines back in the day were like that. You'll
be like, "Hey, you know what's really interesting?

I saw this interesting news thing" or "Hey,
this is really interesting. Come and check

out this little cool trick I can do." Right?
That's something interesting and relevant

about life; so that's useful in that way;
but the problem is once you finished that

topic, your relevance ends. Right? 'Cause
your relevance is tied to the topic and not

tied to you. Does that make sense? Right?
So say that you are someone's teacher in a

class. As long as you're teaching that class
and they're taking notes and they care about

the class, you're relevant. As soon as class
is over, your relevance is zero. Okay? You

don't want that, so here is where emotion
comes in. You need to make it emotional. You

need to make it man to woman, make it you
and them, and tie it to yourself. Okay? So

that's when you want to say things like...
Like you can say like "You have a very interesting

look." That's relevant; but now, you say,
"You have a really interesting look. I kind

of love it, and I kind of hate it." Now, you're
tying it to you. Do you see that distinction?

"You have an interesting look." Okay. Once
you're done talking about the look, you're

done. "You have an interesting look. I kind
of love you, and I kind of hate you." Now,

you're getting closer to making it emotionally
relevant. Right? Or you can say, "You have

an interesting look. I bet that has led to
you being perceived in a certain way. Are

you being perceived in a certain way?" Now,
you're tying into like the emotions they've

had in other parts of their life. Right? You're
tying into an emotional experience for them

rather than just a factual conversation. Okay?
'Cause what are emotions? Emotions quite literally

are chemicals in the body. They quite literally
are like chemicals and hormones flowing through

your body. Okay? And the great thing about
them is they will motivate us to do things

that we would never be able to do without
them. If we didn't have emotions... This is

a long-winded way of explaining it, but it's
the best way I know. There's an old paradox

in computer science. It's called like the
Buridan's donkey paradox, and the way it works

is there's this donkey. On one side of him,
he has a big pail of water. Another side of

him, he has a big tub of food. He sits there
thinking, "I'm kind of thirsty. Maybe I'll

drink"; and he goes like, "No, no, no. I"m
more hungry. I think I'll eat," "No, I'm more

thirsty. I'll drink," "No, I'm more hungry.
I'll eat." He just sits there, going back

and forth, not knowing which is the bigger
priority until he dies of hunger and thirst.

Okay? Now, that's a dumb story in real life
'cause no donkey would do that, no human being

would do that; but a computer will do that.
A computer if it's not given a priority will

just vacillate and not do anything or vacillate
and get like in an infinite loop or something

like that. Right? So in computer science,
it's like an important metaphor because that's

what would happen if we didn't have emotions.
That's what a computer is. A computer is thought

without emotion. Right? And so without that
emotional compulsion, there's no drive to

go anywhere. There's no drive to do anything.
You're not going to get a girl into you without

compelling her emotionally, without getting
those chemicals running in her body. It's

so, so, so important. However, the problem
with the chemicals is the chemicals will eventually

subside. Eventually, if you stop stimulating
her, the chemicals will flush out of her system;

and she won't feel that way anymore. Okay?
So once you have that emotion, you have those

chemicals, you have that ability to motivate
and control and get something to happen; but

if we don't do something with it, if you don't
turn it into something tangible in the real

world outside of just the chemicals in our
body, when they subside, she will forget about

you and flake; or she will be that girl that's
like happy, fun, kissing you, and then be

like, "Okay. Bye. Take care" and not attach
you 'cause she hasn't made it tangible. Okay?

And that's where the decision phase comes
in, and this is what almost everybody misses.

Right? I mean I guess all these stages are
things people miss, but the decision phase

is what the advanced guys miss. The advanced
guys don't get the decision phase. They don't

get that compliance when they have that emotion;
so the girl is feeling all emotional and bubbly

and great; and then at that height of emotion,
when she wants you there more than she's ever

wanted anyone there, you go, "You know what?
You don't have to talk if you don't want to.

You can go"; and at that moment, she really,
really doesn't want to go; and so she's like,

"No, I'm good here." As soon as she says,
"I'm good here," now she's made that commitment

to you. Now, she's taken these emotions in
her body; and she's turned them into something

real and tangible in the world; and that's
when you have a solid hook. That's the equivalent

to like when you're fishing; and you get that
little bite on the hook; and then like if

you were just to reel it in, you probably
wouldn't catch the fish; but if you set that

hook hard and like get it really in the lip
of the fish, that's when you have the hook.

That's what the decision is, that setting
the hook, making sure there's that compliance.

Okay? So that's the key thing to making a
hook that lasts, and that's the key thing

to getting a girl that will chase you and
getting a set where she'll tell her friends...

This is the ideal set. This is not going to
happen often. This happened to me like a few

times in my life; but the ideal set that you
want is the set where at the end of the night,

she says to her friends, "Look, I know you
guys are trying to protect me. You're probably

right. I'm probably dumb, but I like this
guy. I'm going with him, and I don't care.

Deal with it" and then walks off with you.
Okay? I even had girls stay in a country when

their friends are leaving the country to stay
with me and do that. That's fucking compliance.

That's when you have a logical commitment.
That's your ideal. It's not going to happen

every set, but that's the ideal. That's what
extreme compliance is. Okay?

Todd: Now, when you're looking for this decision
phase, when you're looking for this compliance,

it can happen in two forms. One is compliance
which is they come with you. Right? "Hey,

come here. Do this" and they do it. That's
actual compliance. The other is non-noncompliance.

Okay? And what that is, is when you do something
that they should object to or they should

reject you for and they don't. Say you're
talking to a girl; and you say to a girl,

"Oh, my God. You're such a fucking slut. I
hate you"; and she doesn't get angry; and

she doesn't slap you in the face; and she
doesn't run away 'cause she likes you too

much and she's afraid to do it. In her mind,
she has to rationalize to herself why she

didn't. That's also a form of compliance.
Okay? So that's a passive form of compliance.

One form of compliance is you say, "Do this"
and she does it or you like pull her in and

she does something with you physically; but
the non-noncompliance is when you do something

they should object to and they don't; but
you need one or the other of those to really,

really set the hook. Okay? So those are the
stages of hooking. Focus, relevance, emotion,

decision. If you get those four, you have
a hook. Now, in longer sets where like the

hook takes a while, it's very easy to notice
these distinct phases; but my contention is

that even in the sets that hook immediately
or that you seem to have instantly hooked,

all these phases occurred. They just happened
lightning fast. Okay? So for example, say

that you do this, "Hey, you, come here. Oh,
you're so cute." Right? Right there. Yeah,

it's okay. You can face the camera, too. Okay.
Cool. So that's an instant hook. Go ahead

and sit down. So that's an immediate hook,
but what happened? Right? "Hey" had the attention.

"You," it's about you. It's relevant. It's
a threat. It's something. Right? It's a value

or a threat. There's something going on. Right?
And then "come here," there's like that motion,

that intensity in the eyes, which creates
some kind of emotion and then "you"; and then

she complied to it. So within that like split
second, I went through all four phases. Does

that make sense? Focus, relevance, emotion,
decison. Bam. Immediately. And that can happen,

and that's why you get your instantaneous
hook sometimes. There'll be other times. I'm

like, "Hey, you"; and she's like resistant;
so now, I have her focus a little bit, no

relevance, no emotion, no decision; and then
I have to work through a process to get there.

Right? So some sets will hook quickly, and
some sets will hook longer, but that same

process for the hook is an existence in all
the sets. Does that make sense? Cool. So that's

how to do the hook phase. Questions on any
of that? Lots. Good.

Audience: So basically like when you're at
an emotional high, that's when you should

go for the decision like specifically when
you're at high?

Todd: Yeah. When you're at an emotional high,
that's a good time to escalate in general

and it's a good time to do push-aways in general.
Okay? It's a good time to escalate because

the escalation will be received, so you can
escalate without risking a lot of social capital.

Right? So you're likely to get success; so
it's likely to be a good escalation; and then

on the other hand, it's a good time to do
a push-away because when it's in a high point

and you push away, they're very likely to
actually run away. They're very likely to

try and snap back and get your attention back.
Right? So yeah, most of your either like extreme

positive or negative expressions, your extreme
escalation or your extreme negatives, should

occur at high points. Those are the best optimal
times for them, for sure. Yeah?

Audience: So have you ___1:52:43 sort of like
just going up self-amusing and getting it

hooked that way ___1:52:49 both or depending
on the situation?

Todd: I think that self-amusement is not a
direct form of hooking. It's a cross-your-fingers-and-hope

form of hooking, but it's very effective,
and the reason it's very effective is 'cause

self-amusing is one of the best ways to convey
value. Right? And so let's say you have focus.

Right? And then you need that relevance. That's
going to come from either value or threat,

so self-amusing is conveying value/threat
very strongly. Okay? And so when you're conveying

value or threat strongly, you're going to
keep their attention for a period of time;

and by keeping that attention for a period
of time, there's a high likelihood that there

will be something emotional that will happen
that they can then lock onto; and locking

on may or may not happen organically; so you're
hoping it happens organically. Right? However,

also, when you have a high value, people do
react emotionally to high value itself; so

you're very likely to get through that third
phase of emotion as well; and if you self-amuse

long enough, you have value, you have that
emotion; and that emotion in the body, one

of two things, either you will get some commitment
or compliance at some point again by accident

or if they have that feeling around you for
long enough even without commitment, they

can sort of start to associate it with you;
so that is another way to hook. Right? So

what you're doing when you self-amuse is you're
ensuring that you're going to keep attention

or you're going to keep focus and you're maintaining
that you're going to keep relevance 'cause

you're being value/threat very strongly. Right?
So you're basically saying by self-amusing

that I'm going to stay good on those two levels
which means they'll stay with me and they'll

stay engaged and aroused and a lot of good
things could happen from there; but my contention

is if you're self-amusing, and understand
this, you can make those last two phases happen

much more regularly and much more quickly
on an ongoing basis. Right? So I would say

combine the two. If you're not self-amused
and if you seem reaction-seeking, you're going

to fail at the second stage which is the relevance
stage. For example, say that a homeless person

comes up and talks to you. Right? He can get
you to focus. He can yell at you; and you'll

focus; but whatever he is going to say to
you, there is no relevance 'cause you don't

view him as value; and if you view him as
a threat, the way you view him as a threat

is like a physical threat; so you're going
to run away. Right? So he can't... Because

of the nature of his interaction with you,
he can't be perceived as value or threat;

so he's not going to keep you there long enough
to get anything real out of it. Does that

make sense? That's because he's needy and
not self-amused and he wants something in

the interaction. By being self-amused, you're
ensuring that you buy yourself that window

for good things to happen.

Audience: Yeah. How do you screen for blueprints?
Like what type of things do you say?

Todd: That's an interesting question. I've
never overtly thought about that. Usually

with me, it comes up naturally although I
do screen for blueprints when I'm looking

to pull a girl; and so there, I guess, to
take the metaphor of what I do there to everything,

what I would do is think about what blueprints
are common and then ask questions which are

indicative of them or do little tests which
are indicative of them. So for example, one

common blueprint might be the girl who wants
like rules and structure. Right? So you could

ask a girl, "Are you the type of person who
likes rules and structure and likes to know

like what you're doing in life or are you
the type of person who likes to like kind

of figure it out and like have sort of like
the freedom to go your own way?" I could ask

something like that; and depending on her
answer, that could tell you. Right? And what

you can do when doing that... Because blueprint
is not a static thing. Blueprint is fluid.

Okay? So a girl's blueprint with a celebrity
would be different than a girl's blueprint

with someone who they know like through their
school and like are friends first with and

maybe will consider a relationship down the
road. Right? There's a different blueprint

to that context. They're basically playing
a different role; so when you screen for blueprint,

you're also directing blueprint, if you're
smart about it; and when you're screening

for logistics, when you're screening to try
and take a girl home or trying to like get

a girl to leave a club with you, you're finding
out her like availability; but you're also

indicating to her the right things to say;
and you're sort of moving her availability

in that direction. Okay. So for example, one
thing that I'll do to screen for pulling a

girl is I would say, "Oh, I would like to
screen for how protective are your friends."

Right? And I've always wanted to ask that
question, but I was always afraid to ask that

question because it's so obvious. It's so
obvious I'm trying to pull them. Right? And

so what I came up with to do that is I softened
it; and I also added the incentive for them

to go a certain way; so it'll be like, "So
your friends, are they like extremely uptight

and like if you walk five feet away from them,
they'll call the police or are they like cool

people who like know how to chill and like
realize that you're an adult?" Right? So you're

screening for it; and even saying it that
way, some people are like, "No, my friends

are very protective"; and you'll find out;
but you're also encouraging the proper answer.

Make sense? So understand that blueprint is
fluid; and especially if a girl is attached

to you or wants to please you, they will change
their answer to things and will change their

outlook; so you do want to screen it; but
you also want to influence it at the same

time as you are screening it and so, if that
makes sense as well; but a lot of it can happen

organically. The other thing that is really
good and this'll come into the next phase

which is the emotional connection phase but
it's the idea of qualification. Right. So

qualifying a girl is getting her to jump through
your hoops, finding out the reasons why you

like her; but in the qualifying, you'll find
out a lot about blueprint; so basically, what

I suggest and this is good for everyone here
is think of like five nonphysical things you'd

like in a girl; and then when you're talking
to the girl, once you have a hook, once you

have a set that's willing to stay there and
is a little bit invested, start finding out

if she is those things you like because that's
going to do two things. Number one, it's going

to screen. Number two, it's going to encourage
It's going to encourage her to be those things,

so it's going to lead her down that path.
Does that make sense? But in order to be screening

for blueprint, I guess the answer is you need
to know what blueprints you're screening for

'cause you can't... You can either like just
have the conversation and then just be aware

when things pop up; but if you want to overtly
screen for blueprint, have in your mind "Here

are the blueprints of girls I like" or "Here
are the blueprints I want to encourage"; and

then you have to like sort of proactively
screen. It's like if you do a science experiment,

you usually start with a hypothesis. You start
with something you're trying to test, and

then you do an experiment to test it. You
don't just like look at nature and consider

that science. I mean you can get ideas from
that, but you want to start with hypothesis

if you're trying to be formulaic. Make sense?

Audience: Let's say you hook a girl ___1:59:47
you're pretty close butthurt; and you just

find yourself in a situation where you're
chasing, chasing, chasing. I find myself in

that situation a lot. I get pissed 'cause
I'm like, "God damn it. I don't know what

to do. I don't know how to flip that." Can
you go into that?

Todd: It's tough 'cause it depends on what
you're chasing. If you're chasing her attention,

you're in bad shape. Like if you have to keep
going "Hey, hey, hey. Come back. Come back"

for attention, that's really tough; and you're
probably screwed; but...

Audience: I'm talking more about when I'm
escalating and it's just, you know...

Todd: Right. So if you're there, now you want
to think about it. It sounds like you have

some hooked but not all the way hooked. Right?
It sounds like you have a partially hooked

set. Right? So it sounds like you probably
have some relevance, some emotion; but she

hasn't made any firm decision; so what I would
do is I'd give her encouragement to make a

decision. I do things like leave a little
silence in the set; or I do things like instead

of qualifying yourself, instead of saying
how amazing you are, go the opposite way for

a while and be like, "No, I'm nothing special.
I seem charming at first. It goes away. Don't

worry," that kind of stuff, and make her commit
to the fact that she is staying there even

though you're doing unimpressive things or
even though you're doing sort of like slightly

rapport-breaking things. Right? So I'd use
that as an example; and then the most overt

example would be I'd tell the girl she is
free to go at times but when it's an emotional

high; so even if you've been chasing, chasing,
but it's an emotional high point and it's

pretty good, you could tell her, "Oh, it's
okay. You can go now" right at that moment

of emotional high; and that'll force it to
flip.

Audience: ___2:01:09

Todd: Yeah. Yeah, that's tough. If you're
chasing the attention, you're fucked or you're

in really, really bad shape; but if you're
anything past the attention phase, it's theoretically

winnable. Does that make sense? You just have
to like work through it. It may take several

tries. It may be a slow process of like switching
the frame; but as long as you have the attention

and are able to lead a little bit, you can
theoretically chip away at it and get there.

Todd: All right. So let's do emotional connection.
We'll actually do emotional/physical connection

a little bit together because that's how they
should be done. Okay? Now, the reason we put

emotional connection before physical connection
back in the day was that the emotional connection

motivates the physical more than, I guess,
the physical necessarily motivates the emotional

and also because it's safer. It's safer to
have more emotional connection than go for

the physical in terms of not losing the set
than it is to be more physical or try and

be more physical when you don't have any emotional
connection; so that's why it was ordered that

way; but the way it should be done is together.
You should not be finding out the girl's most

like intimate secrets and fantasies and have
never touched her. You should also usually

not be like getting super, super physical
and hot and heavy and not even know her at

all unless you're already in a situation where
sex can happen. If you're already in a situation

where sex can happen, that's actually fine;
but if you have to make further moves that

are going to require her trust, you want to
make sure there is some emotional connection

along with the physical. Okay? The first stage
and actually the most important stage by far

in emotional connection is qualification.
It's qualifying the girl, letting her know

that there's a legitimate reason you like
her as opposed to just 'cause she was the

next girl. Also, a great thing about qualification
is it actually builds its own value because

through the very act of qualifying a girl,
the very act of finding out about a girl and

putting her through hoops and asking her difficult
questions, you're conveying to her that you

are a selective guy. You're conveying to her
that you are a guy who has options, you're

a guy of high value, you're a guy she has
to work for, that sort of thing; and it increases

the emotional arousal and also the relevance
factor. Okay? Did that make sense? So what

is qualifying? Well, the most basic form of
qualifying is switching the buyer/seller dynamic.

Okay? The buyer/seller dynamic basically means
that in any interaction, one person is selling

themselves to the other one and the other
person is deciding, to a greater or lesser

degree. It's very hard to be selling and buying
at the same time. Okay? So you want to be

on the buying side, not the selling side.
You want them selling to you. You want them

convincing you why they're good. Now, this
is ironic because you walked up and you started

the interaction. Right? You started with them,
so obviously like you already bought them.

Right? You need to sell yourself 'cause you
walked up. You're the one who needs to prove

yourself. Well, not necessarily. That's only
true if you believe it's true. That's only

true if you let it be true. Okay? The metaphor
we use for this is the Best Buy TV analogy

which is say that you walk into Best Buy,
and you see a TV you like, and you mention

to the salesman you like that TV. You don't
now have to start selling yourself to the

TV just 'cause you walked up to it. You're
like, "Hey, I like this TV; and I want you

to know I'd give this TV a good home. I have
a good VCR. I have lots of channels. I wipe

the screen regularly. I have a nice room that
I think it will be like well framed in." Right?

You don't have to do that. It doesn't matter,
but you walked up to the TV. You showed interest

first, but you can still be selective. Similarly
to a girl, you'd be like, "Hey, what's up?

I like you. Who are you? What are your features?
Are you smart? Can you banter? Can you be

sexy or are you boring?" Right? You can do
the same thing. You can flip the script.

Todd: Who are you? I'm Todd.

Woman #5: Who are you?

Todd: Just a boy. I think I'm special, but
I'll leave that open to your judgment. I try

not to sell myself. Huh?

Woman #5: Are you here alone?

Todd: I am. I'm just walking through.

Woman #5: Okay. I was wondering if your friends
could come over here or something.

Todd: I don't have any friends. I'm very shy.

Woman #5: I highly doubt that.

Todd: I actually don't like dating, so it's
good. I prefer rendezvous with, you know...

Woman #5: Rendezvous ___2:05:20

Todd: And the way I like to look at it is
the prince has chosen you. Okay? I'm the prince.

I'm the prince. I've chosen the girl; and
as of right now, she has an audience in my

court as long as she doesn't fuck it up. If
she fucks it up, she is out of the court.

Right? So imagine you're a prince in a royal
court; and you see someone like common girl

in one of the performing troupes; and you
think she's hot; and you say to your little

minions like, "I want to meet her. Have her
brought to me." She comes to you, and you're

going to evaluate her, and you chose her,
but you're still the prince, and she's still

a common girl. Does that make sense? That's
the frame you should have. That's sort of

the vibe you should have with this. Okay?
Because you're providing more of the value

to the interaction. What you can provide to
the interaction as a man to just about any

woman is not just more than that nice, warm,
wet hole they're providing but like literally

like thousands or millions of times more.
It's no contest. Okay? That's what you're

bringing to the table. Right? If you were
to walk up to a girl and you had a check in

your backpocket for 10,000 dollars with her
name on it, would you feel nervous about giving

it to her? Would you feel nervous about asking
her a couple of questions before giving her

the check? Absolutely not 'cause you know
you're offering value. Now, you should ask

yourself as a man with all the things you
can provide in terms of great experiences,

learning opportunities, influence, inspiration,
material resources, all that kind of stuff,

are you, if you're willing to commit to a
girl, worth well more than that 10,000 dollars?

Probably like orders and orders of magnitude
more. Right? So you should not feel nervous

walking up and talking to a girl. You should
not feel you need to qualify yourself to the

girl, and you should feel that you want to
find a girl who is worthy of that 'cause there

are plenty of options. Okay? So that's the
kind of the vibe you should have and the idea

of qualification; and then within qualification,
understand that it's again another escalation.

It's another form of social capital; so every
time you demand something of a girl and she

says yes to it or goes along with it, you
build your social capital. You get closer

to her. You're also getting to know her. Right?
Which is good, too. So qualification is great

because it's one of the very few things you
can do that builds value and comfort at the

same time. Okay? Almost everything you do
that builds value destroys comfort. Right?

Being a badass, being an asshole, being non-needy,
being super assertive builds value, makes

her trust you less 'cause it makes it seem
like you have too many options. Okay? Getting

to know a girl, telling your innermost secrets,
confessing vulnerabilities builds comfort,

lets her get to know you; but it destroys
your value. Right? But qualification does

both at once 'cause you're putting her through
the hoops, you're being a selective man, but

you're taking the time to get to know her
and show her why she is special. That's why

qualification is so beautiful; and that's
why, for me personally, most of my game is

in qualification. I take the qualification
phase basically almost from the open to all

the way to the bedroom. Even like right up
until like my penis is almost inside of them,

it's all qualification phase. Does that make
sense? It's absolutely huge because, again,

it can build value and comfort at the same
time which makes it beautiful. By the way,

the one other thing I found in communication
that does value and comfort at the same time

is storytelling. That's the other one. Right?
'Cause storytelling, you're leading the frame;

you're dictating the interaction; you're controlling
what's going on; but you're also letting the

girl into your life, giving her a window to
get to know you. So that's the other thing

that builds value and comfort at the same
time. So storytelling and qualification, two

of the most powerful tools you can possibly
have in game for that reason because as far

as I know... If you can come up with other
ones, please let me know. I'd love to know

them, but they're the two things I know of
that build value and comfort at the same time.

Okay? So, so, so important.

Todd: All right. So how do you qualify? Well,
first, it helps to know what you want to qualify

on; so that exercise I told you, come up with
five nonphysical traits you'd look for in

a girl, that's a good one. Another good one
if you want to qualify and encourage at the

same time is think about the traits that she
could have that would lead to the relationship

you want. Okay? So you qualify her for who
she is. Also qualify her for what type of

relationship she can give you in general in
the long term or for tonight. Okay? So you

can qualify her logistics, you can qualify
her beliefs, you can qualify her attitudes

and adventurousness. Those are all sort of
same night qualifiers; and if I'm qualifying

for one-night stand, those are the types of
things I'm doing. Right? If I'm qualifying

for more of a long-term thing, I'd qualify
for "Is she educated?," "Is she financially

independent?," "Does she have freedom and
flexibility in her life?," "Is she sexually

open?," "Does she like to learn things?" Those
are my personal ones. Those might be completely

opposite for you. Who knows? But those are
personal ones I'd be qualifying on. Okay?

But the idea is I have an idea in my head
of the perfect girl that I'm looking for in

general. I also have an idea in my head of
the perfect scenario and the perfect type

of attitude and structure to the story for
a one-night stand or for a dating scenario;

and depending on what I decide is the optimal
scenario for the particular logistics and

particular girl, I start qualifying to that.
Okay? So if I'm looking for the one-night

stand, I qualify hard on the one-night stand
stuff. If I found out that the girl cannot

do a one-night stand for very plausible reasons
and I just need to get a phone number and

follow up, I'll qualify her for things like
how we can meet up on the date and what kind

of person she is and whether she is someone
I'd enjoy spending that kind of time with,

that sort of thing; so I'm qualifying her
towards the end that I have in mind. Okay?

And that end can be sex, date, relationship,
threesome, whatever. Whatever it is, you can

qualify them to that; and again, you're screening
for it; but you're also encouraging them to

it; so you always couch things in such a way
that you're saying that what you want is the

good option and what you don't want is the
bad option in subtle ways. Does that make

sense? Cool. So that's qualification. So,
so, so important in terms of being a man of

value, in terms of letting them know that
there is something special about them. You'll

find as you get better in game that a lot
of times, girls will be overwhelmed by you,

will feel like you're overqualified, will
feel like... Do you ever get girls saying

like, "Oh, you could get so many other girls.
You're such a player. Why are you even with

me?," that sort of stuff? That's a situation
where the girl sees so much value in you,

she doesn't feel qualified; and so she's less
likely to sleep with you because she feels

like it's not special. She feels like she'll
just be another notch on her bedpost; and

that detracts from the experience for her;
but if you can find a few things about her

that are special, even if she still doesn't
feel like she deserves you, actually especially

if she still doesn't feel like she deserves
you, but she feels special in some way, that

makes a great experience for her. Right? One
girl I saw very recently, she just... For

whatever reason, she convinced herself, as
part of the experience, that I was like the

most connected guy in Vegas and like I was
like the most like successful life together

guy she'd ever met; and it was absolutely
bizarre; so like we went back to the place

where I'm staying which is like an apartment
complex; but she was like convinced in her

head. In order to like make the narrative
work, she was convinced it was a super luxury

hotel. She's convinced; and then like I'm
walking around with this key card; and she's

like, "Why do you have access to all these
places in the hotel that like you wouldn't

normally have access to? Who are you? You're
not just a public speaker. You're somebody.

Who are you?"; and she's just convinced in
her head that I must be somebody. I didn't

even do anything to really feed into it. All
I did was like I just didn't qualify myself,

and I qualified her a little bit, and then
like I didn't like want to talk about work.

Right? Even when she was giving me compliments
about it. And that's it; so that combined

with the fact that she was aroused and wanted
me to be higher value, she created that experience

for herself; but that's the experience the
girl wants. The girl wants... One second.

She wants the experience of the guy who she
absolutely doesn't deserve; but for some reason,

there is something special in the air, actually,
you know, great chemistry. You have this thing

in common, and it makes it beautiful because
she's not just the next girl either. Yup?

Audience: Can you give us an example of how
the conversation will go? Like so do you ask

her questions like "Are you into yoga?" ___2:13:40.
For example, these are my qualifying questions.

When she says yes, I'm like, "Oh, my God.
That's great ___2:13:45

Todd: So yeah. Like for example, one of mine
is "Is she fit?" Right? So I'll like ___2:13:53

"Oh, you're strong. Do you work out?" Right?
And then depending where it's at, I can give

either positive or negative feedback to her
answer; and I can give graded feedback, too;

so if a girl is massively beneath me or like
feels like she's massively beneath me, then

I can just be like, "Oh, you do that? I love
that. That's so amazing. That's so cool that

you do that." If a girl is like a solid, fucking
hard, heavy 10 with like attitude who like

dates like professional athletes and like
hedge fund billionaires and shit like that,

then I wouldn't be like, "Oh, my God. That's
so amazing. You do yoga." I'm like, "That's

too easy," like "Please." She ___2:14:31 shit
for that. Right? 'Cause what the guys she

is used to are used to girls that have done,
you know, all kinds of crazy, amazing things

and stuff like that so like if girls like
do yoga, I'll be like, "Oh, so are you a teacher

or do you just go to classes?" Right? Or like
"Oh, so you've like done like something like

crazy training like all over the world and
stuff or do you just go to like your little...?"

whatever or you'll be like, "Oh, so you mean
like that really intense like hot yoga?" Right?

And if they're like no, you'll be like, "Oh,
yeah, that's still cool." Right? That sort

of thing.

Audience: The fact that you're asking them
questions communicates ___2:15:06. You don't

Todd: Exactly. Exactly. And then it can be
just in subtle little things, too. It can

be just like the look you give her after.
Right? So you're like... You can even qualify

like on where someone is from like "Where
are you from?" They answer; and you're like,

"Oh, okay. Well, anyway..." Change of topic.
Right? They're like, "Wait. What's wrong with

where I'm from?" Right? So that's the negative
one; or if you need to give them the positive,

you could do like, "Oh, my God. I love that
city. Actually, I went there and..." Make

sense?

Audience: Yeah.

Todd: So you have the option at any time to
give them something very positive or very

negative; and by choosing how positive or
negative to make it, you control the level

of qualification. Right? And again, for like
the hot girl that needs a lot of value and

not as much comfort, you're going to qualify
like harsher and with a lot less positive

feedback; and with the girl that already like
loves you and feels like she doesn't even

deserve you, you're going to just keep giving
back to her and letting her feel like she's

like on the same level somehow. The other
thing that you can do along the same line

as qualification which is kind of like reverse
qualification is whenever they ask you questions,

you can either make them impressive if you
need value or you can ground it onto their

reality if you need comfort; so for example,
for me, I have a lifestyle where I travel

the world, I meet a lot of people, I'm doted
on to a certain extent in certain things that

I'm doing. It sounds like a pretty cool lifestyle
to a girl. Most girls would fucking love to

be in my lifestyle. They actually wouldn't
'cause they wouldn't like to do the work;

but the picture they have of my lifestyle,
they actually love it. Right? And so when

I tell them that, it sounds really, really
cool. Now, if a girl is already insecure and

I tell her that, she just gets overwhelmed.
She's like, "Oh, shit. You're like way above

me"; so if a girl asks me what I do and I
know she's like kind of not there, not on

the same level with me, I'll be like, "Yeah,
it's interesting. I was actually really sort

of like shy in college. I was actually kind
of insecure about my career, and so I didn't

want to go get a job in that particular career,
so I took kind of a crazy risk, and it was

actually probably stupid at the time. I got
really lucky, but..." Right? So you're grounding

this like crazy reality onto coming from a
situation like them, so it makes it relevant

and relatable to them. Right? So that's if
they're like way beneath you. If they're like

way like super... they're used to dating like
really high-end people and shit like that

and like whatever you're going to say to them
is not that impressive, then you'll be like,

"Yeah, I don't like talking about my job.
People always seem to like define me based

on it. I want you to like me for me; and then
once we like each other, we can talk about

all that shit; but I don't want our attraction
or our relation to be built on anything superficial;

so let's just keep it us for now." Right?
And that's like this whole like "I don't even

want to tell you. I'm not trying to impress
you" thing, and that can work really well

with those girls that are used to the super
high-value guys, so it's calibrating to the

situation. Yeah?

Audience: So by asking these qualifying questions,
are you building compliance each time that

she answers them, at the same time qualifying
her?

Todd: Yes, that would be true. That's correct.
The other things to keep in mind in terms

of connection... Connection and comfort are
very similar, and the key thing that builds

comfort is time. Okay? Here's why. Can anyone
define comfort for me? What is comfort?

Audience: Cigar.

Todd: Huh? What is comfort? Can anybody actually
give me definition for the word comfort?

Audience: Connection.

Todd: Connection is a synonym. A definition
but it's a synonym, kind of.

Audience: ___2:18:32 in the body. It's like
it's relaxed. It's like ___2:18:34

Todd: Okay. So relaxed, being cool, more synonyms.

Audience: Yeah.

Todd: How it feels. We know what's the feeling.
That's good.

Audience: ___2:18:43

Todd: Right. So you're doing things that could
occur in comfort, things that are similar

to comfort; but it's still not a definition.
Right?

Audience: Someone you can see yourself with
in the future.

Todd: Okay. So being able to see someone but
that's still not a definition of comfort.

Right? That's a characteristic of feeling
comfort, but it's still not a definition.

Audience: ___2:19:02 danger or threat.

Todd: There. Perfect. Right? That's actually
not even a definition either. It's a negative

definition.

Audience: Yeah.

Todd: But that's the only way to define comfort.
Okay? You can't define comfort in the positive.

You can only define it in the negative. Okay?
So what is comfort? Comfort is lack of discomfort.

Okay? It's like we know... You go to the gym.
Your muscle is sore. You know what a sore

muscle feels like, but what does a non-sore
muscle feel like? Who knows? It's not sore.

Right? Comfort is a lack of discomfort. Right?
There is no feeling of comfort. There is just

lack of discomfort, so the biggest thing that
builds comfort is time. It's time without

discomfort. Right? That's what builds comfort,
and that's why it oftentimes takes time to

sleep with a girl. It's because that comfort
can't build instantly because if you have

like a feeling of not being sore on your body
for a second, who cares? You're not used to

it. You don't notice it. It's not a big deal
yet. Right? It takes time for it to become

relevant. It takes time for it to mean something.
Okay? So comfort is built on time. That's

why you need to be patient in your game. That's
why you need to allow it to grow naturally.

That's why you need to let the movie play
out. Right? If you're trying to make things

happen too fast, it's going to (1) take away
your opportunity to build comfort but (2)

the effort that you're putting into it is
going to create massive discomfort. Right?

'Cause it's conveying that you're the type
of guy who hasn't been there before, you're

the type of guy for whom this is a big deal
and it's a heavily invested thing. Okay? And

that's not what you want. For a girl to come
with you, for a girl to come home with you,

here is the absolute best phrase that I've
ever heard for getting a girl to come home

and credit to Jeff for this one. He said,
"We're going to go someplace..." Let's see.

"We're going to go somewhere lovely that you
will love; and if you don't, well, then you

can go home; and it doesn't really matter
either way 'cause I'm having a good time;

and that's all that really matters. Right?"
That's the exact perfect phrase for a pull.

Okay? "We're going to go somewhere lovely
that you will love." Okay. We're going to

do something positive. Here's the key part.
"And if you don't, you can leave." Okay? It's

not a big commitment. It's not a big hassle.
You can always get out of it. You don't sell

how amazing it is. You sell that it's not
a big commitment. Right? Like a lot of people,

they'll see a product; and if it seems really
amazing, they won't buy it 'cause it seems

too amazing, they don't believe it; but a
lot of people will buy something because there's

a money-back guarantee. Right?

Audience: Can you say the whole thing again?

Todd: The whole phrase?

Audience: Yeah.

Todd: "We're going to go somewhere lovely
that you will love; and if you don't, well,

then you can go home; and either way, it doesn't
matter because I'm having a good time; and

that's what really matters. Right?" Okay?
That's the phrase. He says, "You can go home."

I say, "You can leave"; but it's the same
thing. That's the general idea. Okay? So you

don't sell the positive. You don't sell the
huge upside. The fact that they're with you

for a period of time, the fact that they've
committed time to you, the fact they've escalated

physically, they like you. You don't have
to sell the upside that's already there. What

you have to sell is the lack of downside.
You have to sell that it's not a big risk.

Right? So you sell the money-back guarantee.
"If you don't like it, you can leave." Make

sense? Right? That's absolutely key and then
the last part, "It doesn't matter 'cause either

way, I'm having fun; and that's what really
matters." I'm not in this to get laid. If

it happens, it's great. I'm not in this to
get something from you. I'm not in this to

use you. I'm having a good time. It's about
the experience. It should be about the experience

for you because that's what it is for her.
For her, it's about the experience, too; so

that's making it relatable. Okay? But that's
the idea. "You're going to come with me. It's

not a big commitment. It's not a big deal."
If I'm trying to push too fast, if I'm trying

too hard, it is a big deal; and that builds
discomfort. That's going to get in the way.

Okay? comfort is built over time, so you need
to have patience. Now, don't have a patience

where you're not escalating. Don't have the
kind of patience where you're just sitting

there, doing nothing, being like "I'm just
killing time. This sucks." Right? You still

have to be engaged in the conversation. You
still have to stay engaged in the interaction

'cause if you're disengaged, that conveys
that you have no chemistry; and that's going

to build discomfort. Okay? So you still have
to stay engaged. It's not a matter of setting

your like watch and being like "Okay. I'll
just sit in silence for three hours; and then

at that point, I'll leave with her." It doesn't
work like that for a number of reasons, one

being that the disengagement builds discomfort,
two being that the interaction as you get

more calm, the emotions sort of subside and
that needs to be replaced with something.

Okay? Here's probably the last model I'm going
to give you guys, but think of an axis. Think

of a graph where this is like arousal and
this is time. Okay? And think about like the

amount of energy you're putting to the set.
At the start of the set, you're putting a

lot of energy in. You have to be very like
on top of it, get their attention, keep their

attention, move things forward, be witty,
like have a good response to shit tests and

a lot of energy. Then over time, it's going
to gradually go down 'cause at some point,

you're going to be like just sitting on...
They're sitting on your lap. You're cuddling.

You're just like ___2:24:06. Nothing really
is going on verbally. Okay? And that's more

what leads to sex 'cause sex comes out of
that calm, comfortable, but aroused vibe;

but the problem is as the energy level goes
down, the set is less interesting and less

fun; and so a lot of guys will lose the girl
when they start getting into that comfort

phase because it's not as much fun anymore;
so what do you do? You must replace that energy

with something else; and what that is, is
physicality; so as the emotions are subsiding

or the caloric burn, so to speak, the amount
of like energy being put into set is subsiding,

you need to increase the physical to match
it; so the total sum of the energies kind

of stays constant, kind of stays level. Does
that make sense? So you go from this very

hyper-interaction with not a lot of physicality
to this very calm interaction with very sensual,

close to sex physicality; and then it's just
a natural transition to sex especially if

as I've said over and over again, they're
complying and they're going with you along

the entire way; so that's the whole thing
is to get them chasing and get them participating

and allow enough time for them to fill that
gap and for them to fill that comfort.

Todd: Specifically if you want to build comfort,
there are two different types of comfort that

you can build or two types of connection,
I guess, that you can build. One is what we

call wide rapport, and one is what we call
deep rapport. Wide rapport is the idea that

you can talk about anything with someone.
Deep rapport is the idea that there are few

topics that you have very much in common,
you can have nice deep conversations as opposed

to superficial gossip. Ideally, you want both.
Okay? If you're talking all about one topic

and only one topic, you will get a nice, heavy,
deep conversation with a girl; but as soon

as she comes out of that conversation, she's
going to feel like, "Woah, that was really

deep. I guess I can talk about like that one
thing with this guy"; but that's it; and she's

not going to want to see you again; and she's
not going to feel deeply connected to you.

If you talk about a million things superficially,
she'll be like, "Oh, that guy is a fun conversationalist.

It's a good chit-chat"; but there's no real
deep emotion being aroused. She hasn't gone

really into something; and so for that reason,
she won't necessarily... She'll be fine with

seeing you again. She will feel comfortable,
but she won't be deeply motivated. Okay? So

the one is motivating but uncomfortable. The
other is comfortable but not very motivating.

And what you want is both. You want that deep
rapport where there is that motivation like

there's something intense there; and then
you also want some wide rapport where you've

talked about a lot of different topics; so
ideally, the conversation, if you want to

like have a girl not flake, if you want a
girl to see you again, that sort of thing,

or if you just want her to feel very connected
to you in that night and it's a longer pull

and not like a quick clubby pull, you want
to have that combination of wide and deep

rapport. Okay? So that's the last thing I'd
say to focus on in terms of all that, and

that's going to enhance the experience of
comfort, so we said comfort is built on time.

Right? Comfort is built on time, and time
is therefore a necessary component. However,

there are things you can do to make time appear
to pass faster. There's a reason why some

sets take seven hours to pull and some sets
take half an hour or an hour, and the reason

is... Well, part of the reason is the girl's
blueprint. Some girls need more value and

less comfort, but another reason is what the
nature of the time spent is. Okay? So if you're

spending time and you're doing some wide and
deep rapport, that's going to make it seem

like you spent more time together, the fact
that you've had those deep topics and a lot

of topics. It's going to make it seem like
the time you spent together means more, so

it sort of like dilates the time. Right? The
other one is multiple locations. If you spend

time with a girl in three or four different
places instead of standing in one place, it

makes it seem as though you spent more time
with her; so that comfort ends up being built

more rapidly 'cause it's not about the actual
passage of time. It's about the subjective

feeling of time. Okay? So things that you
can do to make it subjectively feel like you've

been together longer, you've talked about
more things together, introduced her to more

of your friends... Those all build comfort
faster. The other one you can do is the more

similarities or things in common you have
with her, the more likely you are to build

comfort because... Say me. I'm a soccer player.
I played soccer most of my life. I've known

a lot of people who are soccer players and
had a lot of friends who are soccer players.

If I meet a girl and she's a soccer player,
I feel as though I know certain things about

her by association; and it's like by having
spent time with all those other people in

my life, I spent some time with her because
I'm associating her with that group. Right?

Does that make sense? So by associating with
a group or associating with activity or commonality,

that can also make time seem to pass faster;
so those are things you can do to make that

comfort time not take eons and eons. All right?
Yeah?

Audience: ___2:28:34

Todd: Passions are good. Sexual experiences
and intimate experiences are good. Things

like family can be good. Travel can be good
in some context, stuff like that. But like

passions is a good one. Again, anything that
you're talking passionately about is a really

good go-to.

Audience: I mean this may not be fair; but
the chodey subjects, the subjects that most

guys would talk about ___2:29:06

Todd: Yeah, most guys would talk about those
like before the girl is committed; but you

should talk about them after. Yeah. And you
should also be careful that because they are

chodey subjects, you don't go so much into
them and stop having emotional spikes. Even

as you're having these... Like I can have
a very deep conversation with a girl; and

as I'm having it, I'll still make fun of her
every now and again. Right? I'll still make

sure there are emotional spikes. It doesn't
completely ever go away. Like there's less

value being utilized and more comfort, but
it's not like I ever turn down the value completely.

It's not like I ever completely like chode
out. Okay? So you don't want to go too far

that way either. And then the last thing is
the physical escalation which brings us right

back full circle to closing. Right? Physical
escalation, absolutely paramount that you

do it; that you are constantly pinging for
and trying to do it, trying to move forward;

but also that it's not so needy and aggressive
that it's too obvious. So this is where you

get into two steps forward, one step back,
that sort of thing. Right? Push to the point

of the little bit of discomfort and then chill
it out, back off, and then try again. Right?

Absolutely critical with the physical connection.
And then all the things I said before about

making a move but making it in a subtle way
so that she has a chance of accepting it but

if she doesn't accept it, it's not a big negative
so you want to be constantly, relentlessly

pushing forward but not in a way that can
hurt you. Okay? So those are all five of the

phases of pickup: open, hook, emotional connection,
physical connection, and close. I want to

emphasize to you again as I did at the start.
The close is the objective; so everything

you do in all of the other phases needs to
be geared towards the close, not just geared

towards getting through that phase or getting
to the next phase. Okay? If you do things

to hook a girl that are going to make her
distrust you so much that you're not going

to be able to build comfort later, you may
get the hook but you're going to make it very

hard for other things to happen. Okay? If
you manage to get the emotional connection

in such a way that the girl feels really close
to you but in the process, you destroy all

your value and you make it way too obvious
you like the girl, you're going to hurt the

idea of her chasing you and participating
later and you're going to end up with a vibe

of you pushing and her resisting. Right? There
are all these things, all these little things

you can do along the way, that will get you
further along towards the fifth step but will

actually hurt the fifth step itself, will
actually hurt the closing itself; so what

you want to do in game is you want to be constantly
moving forward; but you're going to make sure

that what you're doing to move the interaction
forward is not hurting the close. Okay? Remember,

always keep the close in mind. That's the
important part. That's the victory. All the

little steps are nice along the way; and especially
if you're learning and you have trouble with

it, do what you have to, to get there; but
always in the back of your mind, remember

that it's moving towards the close, not just
towards the next little box that you're checking

off along the way.