Are you going to stay here? | Radagast | TEDxJoven@RíodelaPlata

How to make play be your job. Radagast shares his secrets on how to never stop growing and playing.

This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at https://www.ted.com/tedx

When I was 12 years old,
Elena, my literature professor,

asked the students in my class
to prepare a story,

to tell a story about something
that we really liked.

Some chose movies,
others chose TV shows,

some rock band, things like that.

I, in that moment, already wanted to be a magician.

I really liked magicians
and stories about circuses.

I prepared a story about magic and circus arts.

At the same time, I was going
to an educational psychologist

that helped me pay a little
more attention in school

because I was a bit disperse.

(Laughter)

There was also another alternative
to that which was a pill

that at a time was given to kids
that didn’t pay attention,

and it made people pay attention

to those things society wanted
them to pay attention to.

Luckily, they didn’t choose that
and they sent me to Liliana’s.

That’s where I went. To learn how
to pay a bit more of attention at school,

which wasn’t going completely well.

If I had taken the pill back then,

now I’d be the sort of person
that drinks very dark coffee,

with no sugar, and is angry
at the entire world

because they don’t act the way he wants them to

and Messi doesn’t play hard enough,
and all those things.

(Laughter)

Luckily that didn’t happen.

I was at Liliana’s.

Liliana helped me concentrate
a bit more at school

and I told her I had to write
this sort of story about magic

and that I wanted to finish
the lesson with a magic trick,

the most decent trick I had,
at the moment.

I didn’t have the guts.

In reality, it scared me a bit.

And her, with the sweetness that characterized her

with her love and tranquility, told me:

-Don’t be a wimp, do the trick,
if nothing happens, it’s just a trick,

you do the trick,
it’s a nice finishing touch.

I brought myself to do it, told the story,
showed my empty hands

showed that a handkerchief appeared
from my hand, put it back,

showed my empty hands again,

showed again that the handkerchief appeared

and my classmates and teacher clapped.

(Applause)

I did very well on that class day,
and got a very good mark,

and Elena was amazed by
what I had done and said to me:

-Look, in five months there’s
a literary competition

and in the closing night
the school is hosting an event.

We’d like you to do a magic show.

Do you have a show prepared?

-Obviously, I said.

It was obvious, I was 12 years old,
I didn’t have a prepared show,

but I did have five months
to actually prepare that show.

And in that show, I mixed music,
magic, and comedy,

which were the things I liked the most.

I realized that it wasn’t that I had
a hard time paying attention to things,

but that I didn’t want to pay attention

to geography, math,
physics, basically.

That what I liked was
to pay attention to other things.

I was very scared. The day of the show came.

I was feeling very confident,
because when I was younger, at eight

I played the drums in a jazz
band and did scat singing

(Scat singing)

Very strange for eight year olds,
but that’s what we did in Bahia Blanca,

where I lived, there was a jazz band
and I played the drums,

sang scat, and was the presenter.

But the day of the show,
just before coming out,

those five months passed,
the day of the show came.

In a very dark place of myself
I wished a catastrophe happened,

that the theatre exploded
and killed everyone inside,

(Laughter)

even my mum and dad,
who were there watching me,

just not to do that show.

The time came, they said:

-Ladies and gentlemen, Radagast.

I came out to perform and it came out great.

It came out okay, I’m not saying it was...

It was a nice show, really.

A 12-year-old showed up, did some magic,
comedy, and some music

that I included
because I really liked music.

People asked for my business card after the show.

Business cards, I say this
because you’re all very young,

were pieces of cardboard
with your name on them.

The equivalent to today’s
contacts in your phone

or the handles in social networks.

Damn millennials.

(Laughter)

I had business cards, I had a lot of
confidence, I was 13 years old but

to be honest, at 13 years old
one is very confident.

I got business cards printed out.

They said Radagast, below it said comedic magic

and my house phone which was 49018.

I handed out the cards and soon enough
my house phone started ringing.

They started to hire me to perform
at events, kindergardens,

then schools, parties,
churches, weddings.

I started to work a lot.

I was very young but I worked a lot.

All the money I won I invested it back
in some course I could take,

buy tricks remotely.

There was no internet to
study through the internet.

In Bahia Blanca, there were no magicians
and I started buying things,

I started doing shows and such.

I started working lots,
but I started to get bored

because it was always the same thing:

I made the jokes that worked,
the tricks I knew,

I didn’t have much more
tools than those,

I couldn’t study magic.

So, my very wise
parents told me:

-Why don’t you take some
theatre class

or some other thing that will
nurture you and such?

I started. This was some time ago.

I started the theatre class
and a friend showed up,

a classmate, not a friend,
a classmate with juggling cubs.

Something clicked. I said:

-I want to learn how to juggle,
I want to learn how to juggle,

I want to learn how to juggle,
I want to learn how to juggle...

I want to learn how to juggle.

The kid realized that I was
a bit too insistent.

And put me in touch with some guys
from Rosario that were in Bahia Blanca

teaching some juggling classes
and busking for them.

They had just come to Bahia.

I invited them home. I told them:

-You don’t have a place to live?

You can stay home, my folks
won’t have a problem.

I took them home.

One was a Rastafari and another one
had half of his face tattooed,

I swear you by my mother.

They were in the living room
teaching me how to juggle,

my mum comes in and says:

- Who are these guys?

I go to the kitchen and I tell her:

-Mum, they’re the juggling teachers

that are going to be teaching me how to juggle
and are staying at home for some days.

-Perfect.

So, they stayed for some days.

They taught me how to
juggle with clubs,

with a diabolo, with balls,
I learned how to spit fire

and it blowed my mind,
I couldn’t believe it.

I would go to stoplight,
and I would do some juggling

and spit fire with my friends.

We’d put up the show in the street
and collect donations.

I started to mix that
with some magic tricks I knew.

The show started to grow.

It was great, I was mixing things
on the way, it was really awesome

and I kept making money to re-invest
in what I liked doing.

I started to get bored again.

It started to become automatic again

and just in that moment, my folks

with much love and generosity, told me:

-Are you going to stay here?

Why don’t you go somewhere
else and see how it goes?

To Buenos Aires.

Someone could interpret this
like they were kicking me out.

Maybe, but no, they were inviting me

to dare do something else.

I moved up here,
to Buenos Aires.

I told you guys I get distracted a lot, right?

Sorry. I’m imagining there’s
a ninja turtle and a

Teletubbie next to me dancing.

That’s why I’m get
a bit distracted.

(Applause)

I moved to Buenos Aires,
started taking classes in different things,

clown, pantomime, more juggling,
acrobatics and more.

I was waiting for
the phone to ring,

that phone nobody had the number of
because I’d just gotten to Buenos Aires,

to do events in Buenos Aires.

There was no phone, so I’d go to
the cyber café in the corner of my place

and send emails to every producer
or event organizer I could think of

so I could keep doing my shows
and live on my own in Buenos Aires.

In reality, it wasn’t me sending the emails,

but my representative,
who was actually me,

(Laughter)

but I’d sign off with another name.

I thought it was so fun that
it was some other guy.

(Laughter)

To me it was much easier to sell
someone else’s act than mine:

-You’ve no idea of this show I do,
you’ve got to hire me!

And the guy would say:

-No, you don’t know what this guy does!

No, he’s amazing!
Nobody has seen him yet in Buenos Aires!

I’d just gotten here, it was obvious.

Nobody called me for a long while.

Emails would bounce back, or they’d say:

-The truth is the market is already
collapsed, no, no.

Until I caught one off guard
and he hired me.

From that show came others

and I started to work again
in Buenos Aires,

looking for new things,
new quirks and that sort.

My colleagues weren’t fans of the act,
because in reality,

I didn’t really prepare my shows
the way magicians usually do

as I had never received
proper training.

I thought it up from the side of comedy.

So, my colleagues didn’t love the idea
of a guy doing magic

but that screamed
and wore clown shoes,

that sometimes sung, that threw
juggling clubs or spit fire.

Therefore, I wasn’t well accepted
by my colleagues,

but as I had my
representative that told me:

-Everything’s fine.

I kept on going.

I just kept doing my thing.

At 22, my girlfriend at that time

tells me she’s pregnant with Bianca.

My daughter Bianca is born.

I kept working as a magician,
travelled abroad a lot.

There’s something I really like
that’s serendipity.

Serendipity is the word that
defines when a fortunate event

happens to you without you expecting it
while you’re looking for something else,

as long as your spirit is prepared

for new things to happen.

When’s someone’s searching
and searching and searching

serendipities happen that
can make you change course.

If I have a clear course
to go from here to there

and I only look up there,
up there, and only up there,

a lot of things are going to happen around me

and I won’t realize it.

In one of those serendipities I had,
a foreign producer got in touch with me,

I started working in Colombia,
in Peru, in Venezuela,

lots of things.

I was a father, I should’ve stayed
in that place of comfort,

where I had events and everything.

A really good opportunity came up,
to be the clown…

You guys know that clown
that looks like It,

that eats a lot of burgers?

He has some restaurants,

he’s doing really well.

I went through five auditions.

The last call I told them:

-I’m not a fan of this,
I’d rather keep doing my own thing-

I didn’t want to be a 9 to 5
clown, to be honest.

It helped me realize
what I really wanted to do,

which was to keep playing.

I told them no and I kept doing my thing,

believing it was going to be alright.

And really things went along fine,

but I was getting bored again.

It happened to me that I wanted to play with

something, I needed new tools, I started
looking for new things,

I wasn’t feeling very comfortable.

I did a season in Villa Gesell,

that I shared out of chance with
a guy that was like a guru to me

that showed up in my life,
that made me... (Sound effect)

And I know a lot more of
sound effects to,

the vacuum cleaner... (Vacuum cleaner)

(Pigeon cooing)

(Feline roaring)

And I know a lot more (Applause)

And it kind of calmed my soul

because I was really unsatisfied
with what I was doing

because I had heard those
colleagues I really admired

tell me:

-But you’re a clown, not a magician

not a comedian, not a musician,
so what in hell are you?

Blah, blah, blah.

And he told me: -You’re Radagast,

focus on being Radagast

and focus on being the best
Radagast you can be.

What do you want to do tonight?

I was doing shows in that place,
in Villa Gesell,

that was a restaurant
that had a theatre inside.

I say: -Look, I’d like
to do this.

I show them what I did in
stoplights in Bahia Blanca

when I was a kid.

I saw: -But this isn’t good,
I don’t know…

-No, no, you have to do that, and look,

let’s add it this and let’s do it
with a background music you like.

It was doing something completely
different to what I had been doing.

That night something happened that was
similar to when I did the trick for Elena,

or when I did that first show,

or when my folks told me:

-Are you gonna stay here?

I heard that again and
went out to do the scene

the routine I had prepared.

To this day I still do that routine,
with some changes in the way.

But that night, when I came out
to the stage, my soul exploded.

The applause I received must’ve been
the most powerful I’d even heard before,

not because it had been
stronger than others,

or before the applause
had been very powerful,

but I felt it very powerful because
I felt I was back playing,

doing what I really liked doing,

which is to play on the stage
without any sort of rules.

I felt very happy.
I was truly satisfied.

That’s where everything changed again,
I started to play again, to sing again,

I started putting on the kind of
shoes I wanted to,

I stopped listening to the
masters who said:

-No, no, no, no, no, no.

And I kept doing my thing trying
each day to be the best Radagast.

A while ago,
once again by serendipity,

three years ago I met
a Fernanda, my girlfriend,

and she immediately realized
I was unsatisfied,

because time went by,

and I got bored again of what I was doing
and said:

-Why don’t you start studying something
that you’ve never done before?

Why don’t you learn standup comedy?

-Standup comedy?

No, that thing with a guy
with a mic that says:

“Don’t you guys hate it when…?”

No, no, no way.

No, I don’t like it, I don’t like it.

-But it’s because you don’t know it
because you’re ignorant.

Go study standup comedy.

-No, no.
-Go study standup comedy.

I signed you up for a standup comedy class.

I went to study standup comedy.

-Yes, my love.

And I went to study standup comedy.

It blew my mind again.

Obviously, I was trying out
a tool I didn’t know well yet,

it was like a new Batman toy,

to take out, to play with.

I started meeting lots of people,
I started getting in touch with others,

I took another theatre class,
some dancing lessons

I started to sing again,
I started to dare to do again,

and in the way I met
Federico Cyrulnik,

an Instagrammer I really
admire, and he told me:

-You have to play with Instagram,
start playing with Instagram.

-You think so?
-Play with Instagram.

When I started playing with Instagram,
my head was blown again.

I didn’t have a schedule or rules,
I could do what I wanted to,

I could play just how I wanted to.

I started to bring back a lot of stuff
from when I was a kid

in the carpentry workshop of
my grandfather, for example (Horn),

something I did in my grandpa’s yard,

or I’d start to play an invisible flute,

what I did with my brother when
he played the double bass

and I didn’t know what to do so I’d do--
(Flute)

and played the flute along.

I started to play again with my daughter,

in reality, to bring back all those games
I did all the time with my daughter,

with my folks or with my friends,
I started to play again

and I started to feel really happy again.

That Instagram account also
brought a bunch of things.

It allowed me to begin a tour
all throughout the country

and also abroad, which
I had always wanted

and dreamt about.
Everything happened.

I’m fortunate enough to be often
asked by journalists,

when I’m doing interviews,
if I feel I’m in my best moment,

and I always answer that yes, because
I have always been in my best moment,

because I always understood as the best
moment all that was going on for me,

from putting up posters
with my friends with glue,

so that people would come
see us in the theatre,

or when we’d go to a corner
to juggle and spit fire,

or today acting in a theatre,

or today giving a TED talk here

to a bunch of people that I don’t know
why they’re making so much silence

and listening me with so much attention,
I thank you very much.

(Laughter)(Applause)

In the field I work in, there’s always
a damn word going around, “success,”

and to me, success isn’t
where you reach,

what I told you about before, to say

-I want to be there.

To me success is all the way you
go through and all that happens on it.

If you do devote yourself to what you love completely,

and this doesn’t mean that
you’re always going to succeed,

things will go badly thousands of times,

and this has to happen so you can learn
and keep on going forward.

In fact, in a festival a while ago
I was yelled at by 150 Colombians

because I made a very unfortunate joke

and I was declared an undesirable person
in the world of magic.

(Laughter)

I carry that title, ladies and gentlemen.

(Applause)

When I was younger,

500 people stood up
and asked for their money back.

I had made a conceptual act
of some Martians

that kidnapped me and took me
to a very dark planet

and I had to do magic tricks
and comedy for them to set me free.

It wasn’t a good show. (Laughter).

All the media on Bahia Blanca
had me on them and read:

"Radagast screwed it up."

(Laughter)

But what was going on with me?

If I didn’t do what wanted in life
and devoted myself to doing my thing,

the next day, after failing or having
a problem, I’d think again:

what a bummer, this thing I’m doing!

My job is a piece of crap.

Instead, the day after failing with
the Martians or in Colombia,

the next day I woke up
and kept loving what I did.

Another question they ask
to me sometimes is:

-And now that you’ve made it?

I haven’t made it.

I haven’t made it at all.

Being in more theatres or being
better known isn’t making it.

To me, making it is grabbing two chips,

go gambling and winning at the casino.

That’s making it rain from above.

And to me, the only things made
from above are holes and poop,

those also come from above. (Laughter)

I’ve been going since I was 12
and I love doing what I do

to play and to play for a living.

I love to play, but sometimes I forget,

but luckily, I’ve a lot of people
by my side,

my ninja turtles, who are my daughter,
my folks, my girlfriend,

my friends, or my work team,

who, when I forget, tell me:

-Play, Rada, play.

So please accept my apologies if I leave playing.

(Applause)

When I was much younger,
when I saw my parents

eating with their friends,

I, instead of toothpicks stuck
on charcuterie,

imagined they were swords
for my Rambos.

Or when I was a bit scared at night

I’d meet up with Batman to chat
and he’d pass along some tips.

Or when I saw the snowballs,

that you shake them and the snow inside moves,

I imagined I got inside.

I like, with my acts,
to bring back that kid

who is still looking at
the world of adults.

Thank you very much.

(Scat singing)

(Applause)