Monster Factory: Creating The Sequel To Dogs in Spore

[music]

[Griffin, with a British accent]
Hello, there, Justin.

- [Justin] Uh, hi?

- It's me, game designer,
Will Wright.

- Okay.

- It's me, William Wright, game
designer, and I'd like to show you

me beautiful spores.

- Pretty sure you're not
British, but okay.

- I've shown you me simulated
cities.

- Yep, yep, I remember them.
- And now it's time for me

to show you my most
marvelous spores.

- That sounds very --

- Are you ready to just take
a step into my imagination, Justin?

- Yeah.
The door's open,

I'm walking through it,
baby.

- Keep your hands inside the car
of my mind...

...coaster as we look at my
beautiful spores.

[Griffin, normally] Um,
hi, Justin.

- Hey. Hey, Will.

- No, it's just Griffin now.
We're gonna play Spore.

I have -- didn't play it --
well, I thought I hadn't played it,

but apparently I played it a lot
'cause I downloaded it and um,

I have this save already
for a town called Fuckburg.

And the monster I had made
was very bad,

as you can see,
lots of noodly appendages.

We're gonna -- actually,
you know what, let's go ahead and --

- Just -- uh, for posterity,
go ahead and delete Fuckburg.

- Oh, God, oh, God,
my children!

- It's like in Oblivion.

- Let's -- let's start a new game, though.

We're playing Spore. I think it's a --
sort of an unconventional title

for us to dive into, but let's just say
we're running out of games

with good character creators in them.
Please, God,

somebody develop some more.

And then -- oh, we have to pick --
oh, the name of the planet.

- The name of the planet.
- What planet is this gonna take pla --

Fuckburg 2?
- Fuckburg 2 is what I thought.

- Still -- still fuckin'?
Legend -- lesson -- legend of fucky's gold?

- Um, what about New America?

Good America, there we go.

So I'm seeing a lot of jaggeys here.
Is -- can't you turn the antialias thing up?

- Um, I mean, I boosted up the
spectrometer

and I turned down as many of the pixels
that I could possibly get my hands on,

but I think that the aliases are just
gonna be anti the whole time.

- Oh, that's fine. So --
- Damn, speedrunning this shit.

- Oh, damn. Moving quick, huh?

- [Justin, British] 'Ey,
everybody, it's Buttman42

here to show you the latest
tips and tricks --

- [Griffin, British]
'Ey, everybody, it's Will Wright.

I've interrupted this man's YouTube
video to tell you

how to really play the game.
I made it, didn't I?

It's my imagination, isn't it?

- Every creature you create
was conceived

in Will Wright's nightmares.

[Justin] All right. So this is a --
- Gone.

No mouth.
- Okay. You sold his eyes.

That's unscrupulous.

- Little spine. The littlest spine.

Here's my idea for this video,
Justin.

- Okay. All right, tell me.

- The Monster Factory factory,
you may not believe this,

has a lot of overhead and
we're a little bit cash poor right now,

and I think I've highlighted
an exciting opportunity

and that is do --
- Yeah, you got the butt.

Sorry.
- Big old ass.

I've highlighted an exciting opportunity
to reinvigorate our cash flow

and that is um, dogs.

A lot of people are really into them.
- Okay.

- I think we could make
the sequel to dogs.

- The -- dogs 2?
- Dogs 2. Better --

better -- bigger, badder, better -- bet --
furrier, fury-er, furrier, better --

they can -- maybe they can smile,
maybe they have -- maybe they have spikes.

- [Justin] Should dogs 2 vote?
- Dogs 2 should vote.

Eyes --
- Eyes are like -- why do do --

okay, let me ask you this,
why do dogs need eyes?

- Yeah, it's a good point.
Like, we take care of pretty much

all the stuff for them.
- It's fine, dogs.

You use your scent.

- What about just one ass-eye?

- Okay. Will that make it harder
to eat?

- "Mouths work best on the front
of the creation." Yeah, I mean,

- Okay, Will.
- maybe this just isn't a very good animal,

Will Wright.
- Will, some of us don't make it.

Will --
- [Griffin, British] Pardon me, mate.

It looks like you put the mouth
inside the ass.

You're gonna want to adjust that.
You don't wanna have a hungry dog 2.

[Griffin, normally] Maybe we make
this thing kind of a cucumber

of mouths.
- You're gonna have to fuckin'

drift into your prey.
- Yeah, no, I think we --

I think we are gonna Tokyo Drift it.

[Griffin, British] Too expensive?

Got to find some cheat codes, don't we?
- Oh, hell yeah.

- "You're breaking me game.
This isn't the intended experience."

"No more than 999, okay?"

"We're all having fun here,
but let's not go crazy."

[Griffin, singing] Chomp, chomp, chomp.
- Nobody knows what number comes after that.

- Mouths work best on the front
of your guy!

I also want to be stab -- I want it
to stab, though.

We need more body mass, don't we?
- That's the problem.

More stabbing room.
- Oh, Jesus.

This thing is already the most
intimidating dog I've ever seen.

- Boy, it takes a while just to even
spool them colors up, huh?

- Yeah. "You wanna do red?
Ughh."

"Fine."
- Ugh. Give me a second.

I gotta think about it.

The red fixes up one of the problems
with dogs is that they don't look bitchin' enough.

- Yeah, they don't look fast enough
and cool enough.

- As soon as we can get flames on this
dog, we're gonna do it.

- Oh, I'm gonna put some flames
on this ass-eyed dog.

[Griffin] Oh, we gotta name him!
- Uh --

- This is important.
- Okay.

- So are we gonna like --
- Are we naming the species or the creature?

- Uh, the species.
What I like about --

so this is an important
step for us.

What I like about dog, what I like
about really all of the domesticated animals,

dog, cat, bird, fish, just like --
it's just like you're getting punched

by the sound of the thing.

- Sure. Cerp.
- Jeb.

- Uh, why don't you hit the dice,
see if we get anything good?

- Nope.
- Nope. No.

- Jamisters. Jam --

Jam might be --
- Jam.

- Jam. This is a jam.
That's a beautiful jam you've got.

Yeah, it's a new breed of jam.
- Maybe like uh, a --

- Sar.
- Sardo.

- I'm a sard.

Dorp.

- Dorp!

- Val. Rai. Agn. Oma. Bas. Ther. Em.
Car.

Car is kind of fun.
- Cars are -- are cars anything yet?

- Um, wom.

- How about jam with, like,
two A's and an apostrophe in the middle,

pronounced jam, but just to give it
a little more of a Dune vibe?

- Jaa'm.
- Jaa'm!

- Go deep inside your mind,
into the chamber of your jaa'm.

[Griffin] Tags...

- Tags -- this is gonna be good for
the online portion.

[music]

- [Griffin] Wow, he's just like --
no matter where you point him,

he's gonna eat.
- Jaa'm gonna eat.

- Well, except his spikes kind of
push the food away a little bit.

- Oh, it's kind of a --
- Oh, jaa'm.

Kind of an evolutionary --
- Okay.

sort of little foible there.
- Yeah.

- Oh, we might need to take
a second pass at jaa'm

because he's gonna starve
to dea -- well, he just ate with his --

he's -- okay.

- Okay. I thought I was joking;

you are technically drifting
into food.

- [Griffin, British] Oh, I'd love
to eat ya.

- You're David and Goliath-ing
all over the place here.

Um...
- "Sometimes I wish

my little creations
would eat me, don't I?"

- "What a magical
journey that would be."

- "Love to live inside of one of these spores,
one of me beautiful spores."

"Well, time to fuck again."
- "I'm full."

- [Griffin, normal] Oh, no,
I wanted that.

- Oh, there's two of them.

This is the worst thing.
- "Hold that thought, love."

"Put -- put your goobies
on ice."

Wait, I want that -- I want that --
I want that -- that butt.

- Oh, yeah, that's a great
butt.

You did, you got it!
You got an electric butt!

- This is gonna be very good.

- [Justin, singing] Electric ass,
electric ass.

- Well, we've got to sacrifice
some things.

- Eyes.

- Okay.

We may end up regretting that.
- I don't think we will.

- [Griffin] Oh, we may have an issue here.
- Oh, no. Uh-oh.

Okay, yeah -- yeah. Definitely.

- Oh, this is gonna be a bad generation.
I think I might need to go back

into the sex pod.

- Give me some of them eyes,
big boy!

- Give me your eyes, fat slug!
- Hey, fat slug!

[Indiscernible].
- Come on, I'm the sequel to dogs,

I need your eyes, fat slug.
- Come on.

Oh, here -- don't let him get away!
- I don't know how to catch up.

I don't know where he went,
Justin! I don't have eyeballs.

[Griffin] Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize
you guys were still analog.

I'm a digital dog with
five electric asses.

Let's look at the evolution of jaa'm
and where we kind of lost our way.

'Cause I think where we lost our way
was maybe generation two.

Oh.
- Okay. Well, we've --

- I don't like actually
seeing it 3-D.

- Yeah.

- 'Cause he kind of looks like a boat
made of hate.

- Yeah. Um, maybe if it just had --

there you go!

- "Hey, everybody, it's --
I'm Will Wright, back here again."

"This is kind of a surprising development,
but I'm making a new edgy sequel to Gex."

- Sure. That's the one I was thinking
you should add

of the things there.

- These could be his eyeballs.

- That's a funny trick to play
on God!

- Can we...

- [Justin] Now we're gonna be able
to see.

- Do we want to be crude?
- I just -- I just think that's cru --

- I love this South Park humor,
though.

- I know you enjoy the South Park
style of humor.

- Okay. That's not a very good --
well, this is clearly

just not a good slider.

If your slider makes the thing do this,
then it's not a good slider.

Okay. Well, it actually ended up
perfectly the way I wanted it.

Um...
- That's good.

- "Hi, I'm the Gmail icon."

Um, is this what we want the first
pass at jaa'm to be?

'Cause I'm looking --
- It's so good.

- I'm -- it's so good, but Justin, if I
had one of these in my home,

I would burn the home to the ground
with me inside,

afraid that this thing
would spread if I -- if I delayed.

- [Justin] There's a good boy.
- There's my good boy.

- There's a good boy.
- There's a good jaa'm.

Let's see how he does his thing.

[music]

Let's see, we're going up against
the nosy boy, brish,

twibble G..., nerd, Dudley, ice -- okay.

- There's three Reapers, of course.
As always.

Fuckin' five Bastions.

[Justin] Okay. A rough start.
- Okay.

Jaa'm, you can do it, bud.

Jaa'm, you having some trouble,
my boy?

There he goes.

Oh, no, burn the island down!
- Not more than one!

No, we can't have multiples!
- Oh, my God.

We need to find the fuckin' hive queen
and burn -- burn down her egg jellies.

Ughh.

- Look at him go.

- [Griffin] Yeah, keep eatin'. What
does food do?

Where does food go?

Does the food go into a random mouth
each time?

No, it seems like it favors your left hip.

- [Justin] Great.
- Guess I'll go --

- Oh, you want me to go have sex
again? I just did. I'm, like, tired.

Hey, Spore, why are you such
a horny game?

- This is a very horny game.

- "It was very kind of everybody
to come help me out with my fetish."

"Thank you, Maxis."

- [Justin] Uh-oh.
- What's up?

- Hey, here, fella.
- Oh, we're porkin' again.

- Great.
- I would love to see which part

comes out or goes into or --
- Receives or deposits anything.

- Where -- where the --
is there a cloaca option

that I dropped in there?
Did that cost DNA?

- Okay. So le -- pros and cons.

- Pros and cons. I hate
the number of mouths that there are.

- Bad to look at.
- Bad to look at.

- Mm, good boy.

There. Good.

Oh, my child.

What did you do?

[slightly slowed music]

[Justin] Any sort of pra -- I do not know
how you are ambulating.

- I'm just kind of vibrating furiously.

"Something to eat.
I need something to eat."

Okay. But he can sing,
it's the only thing he can do.

Please -- okay.
- For Minions 2, we've taken

a bold new direction.
What if they were horrible,

and no eyes,

- [Griffin with a low, gravelly voice]
"Banana."

"Mm, banana."

[Griffin, normally] All right,
this is the first sort of moral decision.

- Yeah. Um...
- I mean, my bite is level 2 somehow.

Let's get nasty.

Jaa'm!

This is...

...so adorable! I love it!

Gotta keep huntin' these things.
- Hi!

- "Hi, hello, hello, please wait."
- "Don't be afraid."

- "Ban -- banana."
- "I just want a taste of you."

"Wait. Not water, please."

"No, wait, I -- I didn't mean to bite.
I sell magazines."

"Please, come back, I'll s -- just
sell you a magazine."

- "I sell Disney Adventures."

- "You're more of a Woman's Day fan?"

- Come on. Yes.
- "No problem."

Yes.
- Okay.

- That's a very powerful anima -- oh,
a baby. Perfect.

- Gotta give this thing at least --
just more parts.

- Something. I can't look at this
fuckin' malted milk ball

roll across the land.
- This Whopper.

- [Justin] Okay. So pros and cons.

Definitely wanna get that going.
I would love to see better.

Perfect for hugs!

- What even -- how would it even happen
like this?

- But eyes? Maybe one eye,
two eyes, whatever you wanna do.

- How 'bout just -- there's optic orbs,
spore -- I don't think we've found

any fucking eyeballs yet.
- Oh, great.

- See, that's a boy I can really love.

He's looking -- what I like about
him most is he's looking up at God

with those eyes that say, like,
"How?"

[Griffin] I don't think it's a bad pet,
per se.

- Yeah. I mean, it's a useful pet
to have around, certainly.

- Yeah, it's sort of like a multi-tool.
- Yeah. He can do whatever --

you want a beer opened?
No problem.

Jaa'm has you.
- Jaa'm.

[slowed music]

- [Justin] Oh...
- The legs just don't even know

how to do it.

- What are they doing?
- They're like little propellers.

[Griffin] Oh, jaa'm, you're such a --
you're such a funny boy.

- Woah, woah!
- Hey, jaa'm,

why do you have wings now,
my pal?

Jaa'm, I don't remember giving you
tissue.

Oh, my jaa'm, I hate looking at
him do anything.

- All of it's the worst.

[Justin] You'll have the safest house
on the block,

unless you yourself want to live in it
with jaa'm.

- Yeah.
- In which case --

- Once you open the jaa'm box,
it's imperative you run

as fast as you can from the house.

- Dear Jaa'm Fancy, I'm about to welcome a
new baby into the house and I was curious

which breeds of jaa'm
are best with kids?

- Dead breeds.

Dead -- pre-dead jaa'ms.
- Dead ones, but make sure you've

also destroyed its heart
in a ritual fire.

- Can you teach me
how to do your eyeballs?

The hard way.

Ooh, these -- look at how tall
this guy is.

- Hey, teach me that!
- Hey, teach me how to tall.

- Teach me verticality.

- [Griffin] Oh, you -- oh, I see.
- Kind of a gang up on you

kind of thing.
- This is cheating, if you're teaming up.

- [Justin] Death would be
a gift to jaa'm.

- Thank goodness.

- Unbelievable. Their people
will tell stories about this day.

- [Griffin] Yay.
- Yay, you're back.

- I'm a baby; someone
have sex with me.

- Which one of you nasty fuckers --
- Wow, these --

the hitbox on the jaa'm is actually
kind of tricky.

Justin! We have to start over!

- We did it wrong!

- Okay.
- Okay.

Now, let's see if we can highlight
some of the main problems.

- The problems so far are jaa'm,

[Griffin] Can we just make a guy?

- Just a human man?

[Justin] So you've got a head.
That's good.

And you want it to have, like,
a chest, right?

There we go.

Why am I having to teach you
how people are shaped?

- [Griffin] Still not great eyeball options.
- No. Uh --

They really are the windows
to the soul, huh?

[Justin] You know, I know you didn't
intend to,

um, like not intentionally,
but you know who this character

looks exactly like?
- Who?

- Like, another pop culture icon. It --
like I don't think you meant to copy it,

but like, it looks --

it looks exactly like Bart Simpson
from The Simpsons.

- The problem is yeah, Justin, I'm
looking at the thing now...

- The problem is it's -- that looks
exactly like Bart Simpson.

- Yeah, like basically from the toe
to the tip, like, that is essentially

what we're dealing with
is kind of a Bart Simpson situation.

- We are -- we are -- shit, listen,
we got a pass once,

we are treading in dangerous
territory by making another creation

that's just like Bart.

[Justin] Um...
- Can we give him, like,

one leaf covering up
his dingle-donger?

- And what is that?
What is that supposed to be?

There we go. The little bit of dignity.

- Do not have a cow, though, man.

[Griffin] Oh, that's kind of
Sonic the Hedgehog.

- That's just -- yeah, that looks
exactly like Sonic.

Let's try this one out.
I'm getting antsy here.

[slowed music]

- [Griffin] The nipples were
a little much.

- A little much, yeah. I was just --
that was my thought just now.

- Oh, no, Justin, holy shit,
wait.

[slowed music]

[Griffin] Okay. Let's find some prey
real quick.

- Hey.

- "Hey, everybody, ooh, ooh."
- "Hey."

- "Ooh, hey, hey, hey."
- "Hey, hey. Get no respect. Hey."

- I still can't fuckin' sprint, though.

I can sneak, though.

All right. Are you ready to see the new
featies I've added?

- Yeah, let's see what you've got.

- Poison lactation.

- No one saw this coming!

- I have other attacks, but --
- Why would you use them?

- [Griffin] What do you -- eyes, please.

- Hey, you just made those extinct!

Excellent.
- Yay, I did it!

That makes me want to jump for --
woah!

- Woah, okay!

- I see you!
I see you, jaa'm.

I have no idea what I just did.

Oh, thanks! Look at that,
he just gave me his eyes.

[Griffin, British] "You can have
me eyes, guv."

"I'll teach you how to eyes.
No need to kill me and my friends."

- Nice.
- Yay. Wow, they're liking me!

Look, it's got a blue smile.

- That's really nice.

Just got to impress one more
and you'll be allied with them.

- Mm-hm.

- Oh, no. Come on.

- I'm just saying, there's a lot
of ways to impress people.

[Griffin] This is one of the scarier things
I've experienced.

- Which part?
- The part -- all of the parts.

This video -- this whole video.

- He's fallen into a bit of an
uncanny valley, hasn't he?

- The valley is certainly uncanny.

- [Griffin] Time to go home
to my --

- That's a good --
good day's work.

- Good days work --
- Time to fuck.

- in good America. Time to have some
victory doing-it!

- Oh, everybody. Hey, everybody,
hey, hey --

- Hey, everybody, somebody come
fuck this.

- We've got a chill hang. Come fuck this.
- Someone come fuck this!

Someone come fuck this!

Let's peel these leaves off,
what do you say,

and jaa'm it.

- [Justin] "I'm Will Wright."

"I don't have an understanding
of sexuality."

"It's all dancing, right?
That's what my mum told me."

- "I was born when me mum and dad
spun around near each other."

"Have I shown you me marvelous
spores yet?"

- [Justin] If you want more --
- Boink!

- new, more threatening nipples,
I completely get that.

- Uh, I know one way we can
improve this like a dog, Justin.

What do people love about dogs?

- Multiple nipples.
- They have a whole mess of them.

- Looks like you got nipple suspenders.

That's probably more than
you planned to put on.

That seems downright folksy to me.

[Justin] Oh, no.

Okay.

[distorted music]

- [Griffin] Sprint!
- Now --

- There we go --
now we're going!

- Yes!
- Jesus.

- Wow.
- That's quite a gait you got there, son.

Your legs look like the old Windows 95
screensaver

with all the pipes on 'em.

- [Justin] If you made a list
of the last things

you thought you would see before you die,
I bet it did not include a nipple barrage.

You didn't get it, though, huh?
- I think -- I think we go to the nest,

and I think we take one last stab
at just sort of reformulating something

to make it something that people
are going to

take their dogs and throw the dogs
in a garbage can somewhere

and replace them with our new,
beautiful animal.

Excuse me, Gexes.

- Can I steal your sacred bones?

- 'Scuse me, let me check out
these bones, my Gexes.

- [Justin] If you could orient him
in a more of a dog shape,

I think we should try and make
something really cute

- No --
- and see if it -- how that works.

- I think what we need to do is really --

ughh.
- Oh, no.

- "Your creation needs a mouth."

Here's what we do.

[music]

[distorted music]

- [Griffin] "My world is pain."

"Is anyone still horny?"

"Please."

- There's nothing that makes me
hornier than watching a birth.

- "This one's on me."

"And now I die."
- "We had a good run."

"Don't let anybody tell you
this didn't mean anything."

- [Griffin] Can we just make
a really little guy?

- Can you put a mouth on that?

Let's get -- get out there.

[Justin] Well, it's got a mouth,
Will, you happy?

- [Griffin, British] "Yeah, right.
That's about what I expected."

[music]

[loud, distorted music]

Uh...

[Griffin] What's up, motherfucker?
- Time to get worked!

Everybody help me!
- Everyone help me, everyone!

- Hell yes. They're gonna bring
him down!

- Snatch this Gex's dick right off.

- [Justin] All right, let's cause a stir.

- Well, it'll be a slow stir.

- What, you can't sprint?

- These look like really bad customers
up here.

- Hey, big boys.
- What's up, fat Gex?

[Griffin] I need to eat some -- some boy first.
- I don't think he's gonna let you.

- I think he doesn't get to decide when
I do or don't eat boy.

I'm the DPS, I need the healer --
where's the --

that one didn't keep aggro.

A few adjustments --
oh, the game has crashed.

Hey, Justin, when was
autosave invented?

- Uh, 2008.
- Oh, that's not good.

- Okay, Will.
- Hey, William.

- Hey, Will?
- Hey, Will, I noticed a --

quick bug report for your 2008 game --
- Quick --

- it just ate an hour-and-a-half
of my fuckin' life.

Will.

"It's only -- it's made to teach you
about the impermanence of --"

Will.
- Will.

- Go to the box, Will.

Get in your box, Will!
- You --

you fuckin' animal.

Will!

[Justin] What's up now?
- What's up now, Will?

- Okay, see, we've got plenty
of -- we've got plenty of shit here.

- Yeah, I think we might do
a second installment.

Can we just, like, recreate our boy
real quick and then --

we'll do it in the -- in the creator
and then we'll --

the next video will be us hopping to
the next phase because fuck me,

am I not going to just run around,
eating Gexes for another hour-and-a-half.

[Griffin] We need a reliable
dog that can life forever.

- That's another thing: eternal.
- That's a problem.

They keep making these movies,
these like, you know,

"My Bud, Mory" about the -- and the dog
always dies at the end of the movie.

And that's unacceptable to me.
- This dog will not die.

- This dog cannot die.

- He looks like a comma right now --
- What's the best --

what's the best part of the dog, Justin?
- The head.

- The head, exactly.
It's got all the face and stuff on it.

- Good.
- So I think that's the part that we're

gonna really focus on --
holy fucking shit,

oh, my God,
there's so many parts.

Thank you, Will.
- Yeah, there's a lot of options.

Thank you, Will.
- Will, the beef been squashed.

These are fun because it's just like, mm.
- Mm!

Kind of a prissy puppy now.

[Justin] That's good. [Indiscernible]
descriptions as features

as marketing enough.
- And I don't mean it in, like,

a nasty way. I just mean some people
can't -- some people give their dogs

little kisses, like little affectionate
kisses --

- So this one kisses back
with full, luscious lips.

That's a good improvement over dogs
right now.

They kisses -- this dog
kisses back.

All right, see -- we're on our way.

Uh, look at that little --
oh, no, now it can see you kiss it.

- [Griffin] I mean, this one's
just like a man's nose.

- That's a man's nose. That's --
- Now it kind of looks like --

now it kind of looks like Steve Buscemi
wearing some sort of pink latex mask.

- Yeah. If Steve Buscemi was a
superhero, this is what you'd be getting.

- [Griffin] How about --
dogs aren't in 3-D.

But this one is.

Comin' at ya, it's dogs!

So far, we're looking very, very,
very good.

- This is a good boy!
- This is a good --

aw!

- That's good! That's a dog
that can hug you back, too!

That's is -- this is several improvements
over dogs.

"Now hug me, hooman.
I'm ready for affection."

"Hooman?"

- [Griffin] Oh, my God.
- I wanna hug it so bad!

- I know. I do, too.

Do we want dogs to be able to jump
and glide, though?

Hi, everyone, it's the
creator of Ico here.

Just wanted to say,
sorry it took us so long

to get The Last Guardian out the door,
but we're very excited to announce

The Last Guardian 2
is already here.

What if the dog had two of the faces?
- Oh! A back-up dog in the back, you mean.

Oh!

Oh, look at it!

- [Griffin] Ooh, God. Ooh, God!
- Oh, no! Don't -- don't move like that!

- Don't move like that,
my sweet boy!

- Oh.
- Oh, no, my boy!

- I love it!
- Justin, I can see the Buzzfeed quiz now:

which face do you like better,
hug face or small face?

Do we add another third --
do we add a third

secret face?

- [Justin] If you get rid of that,
there's no way it'll let you

put the wings back on,
would it?

- Yep, it will.

- Hell yeah.

Who gets the wings
in the custody battle?

- Again, we're gonna end
the video here,

we're gonna come back and tackle
another phase of Spore.

But ways in which jaa'm
is better than dog.

Well...
- Go.

- The dog that kisses back,
that one is just -- you know that's legit.

- That's in the branding.
- Eyes, fuckin' wise.

This is a dog you're gonna wanna
ask about your dating.

Um, the hands: feeds itself, opens doors
for itself, walks itself, wonderful.

- They're easy to maintain
and care for.

No claws.
- The legs, higher up.

Oh, wait, we need to make the legs
just a bit bigger.

Sturdy. Again, sturdy.
This is a dog you can't just knock over.

- Can never knock over jaa'm.

- Oh, now it's kinda built like
a brick shithouse. Fuck.

- Who wants to fuck with jaa'm?
Oh, nobody, it turns out.

- That's weird.

[Griffin] Uh, any other feat --
I mean, obviously the wings,

the flying is good and then there's --
if you don't like the front face,

you do have this w -- Jesus.
- Stop it.

- Why does that keep happening to that?
- How is that happening?

- Anyway, this is a beautiful
beast, beautiful killing machine,

I'll take two.

I'll take 10.

- I'll take 'em to space!
- I'm gonna take this dog to space!

[music]

[distorted music]

[Griffin] "Me beautiful spores..."

[Justin] "Hi, welcome to the star --
the starship futuretimes."

"I'm Dark -- I'm Dark
Vader."

"Hi, I'm Dark Vader
and I'm a Star Wars."

[music]